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Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like
me.
What are you doing here?
When you taught us, Mr. Dwyer, you were always such an inspiration to all of us.
So when we heard about your divorce, your wife's murder, your dog's
disappearance... We want to be an inspiration to you.
I once was lost, but
now am found.
Was blind,
but now I see.
Oh, hi, Kate. Oh, shh. Trying to watch a movie?
still hear it so too loud
humming's worse
okay so let's just why don't any of you have a visitor yet a visitor passes so
unless you want to be calling the police you're not supposed to be in here okay
Remember what I said. Once you finish, you get to leave early.
So do I.
Hey, there we go. One more down.
Thank you.
Here we go.
Tick tock. The rest of you don't want to be last.
It's a race.
It's a race. Try to beat each other.
And look who's last.
Again, every test.
Bitter end Brandon.
Last but not least, I want you to see. ended it now. It's good. Probably great.
You don't have to proof everything.
Oh, I got it. I got it until the end of class, right?
Technically, yes, you have until the end of the class. I said that, but I
actually wrote it shorter on purpose.
I need to keep going. I'm not even close to being finished. Okay, why don't we
do this to speed it up a little bit?
Okay. This is for you.
Put this on the final.
Okay. I'm just going to grab my bag. I'm going to wait by the door. Okay.
And now we should speed it up.
You still have time to get home early, okay?
You actually took the easiest page.
Okay. All right. Let's do this. Let's switch a route.
Let's trade an easy page, and I'll pay the hard page.
There you go. All right.
We've got 15 minutes, and we can have, I can beat traffic. I can get out of
here. This one's all crinkled, and I can't read it. It's very hard.
Uncrump.
Big mess now.
Do you know what tomorrow is? I don't know. Maybe just our five -month
anniversary? You remembered.
No, I did.
That's very romantic that you remembered.
Uh -oh. There's no one in the hall.
No, no, no, no, no.
Come here.
No, no, no, no, no. This is very sexy.
No, no, no, no, no.
Just do, do, do, do, do, do.
Good. Sorry. Okay.
I just want our first kiss to be special.
Yeah, but you've been saying that for like...
I'm just wondering when it's going to be special enough.
Well, I don't know. Maybe after a super special dinner tomorrow night at
Estrellas de la Noche?
Oh, Simon, that sounds super special. Yeah, I can wait.
Picture this. You, me, corner table, couple of virgin daiquiris, and some of
most succulent ceviche you've ever tasted. I'm talking shrimp. I'm talking
cetera. Yes, please.
Great. Kiss you later.
Yeah. Oh.
Whip. And out. Oh. I don't know. Oh.
Keeping it.
Who the hell is that?
That's Mary.
She's subbing for a few days.
My gosh.
We never have hot subs.
Every day I wake up, I say, I hope someone's away and we have a hot sub.
happens. Till today. Oh, boy.
Great. So now what happens?
Now I swoop in and do my thing, Trudy. Because I'm a full -time teacher. And
full -time teachers are like celebrities to subs.
Except that you're not full -time. What are you talking about? I come here every
single day, all day. As a sub.
Full -time sub.
Full -time whack job.
Hi, Mary. I'm Jerry.
Full -time sub here, head sub, so if you need anything, I'm your man.
Great. Nice to meet you. And I am a full -time guidance counselor.
Oh, yes. Well, you guys are so lucky to have full -time positions.
Honestly, this school seems great.
Oh, wow.
You're like a model. I don't know if you know.
We've never... Your face is very symmetrical.
Thank you. You know, everybody is so kind here.
Frank was just telling me about the weekly staff drinks that are happening
after school.
Jerry never comes for drinks. Normally, no.
I've been busy marking and prepping.
Tonight, I'm going. Tonight, actually, it's just complete...
Coincidence that I am able to attend.
I'll see you then. Oh, good.
See you there first.
Jerry, can I talk to you? Can you just... Please?
Disabled. I'm not sure there's anything going on below the waist there. Just
saying.
Okay.
What do you want?
I already called dibs on that joke.
Oh, you're serious?
You might want to check with her first? Because I'm pretty sure it's a no,
Frank. And it's got nothing to do with... the fact you can't walk, so
to play that I'm being sort of insensitive to your disability. It's
on your height and your looks, because she's a ten and you're a five.
This five's going into that ten twice.
Why would you bring up math?
What are you... Who is that guy?
Why the hell are there two hot subs here? What are the odds?
Two hot subs in one day.
Looks like we've got a bit more competition.
Looks like I have more competition.
Simon. Yeah?
I've got a job for you.
See that guy over there?
Hot sub Shane. Yes, I do. Hard to miss. Well, I need you to keep hot sub Shane
away from hot sub Mary the whole time she's here. Why?
What have I said about best friend projects?
Best friends don't question best friends projects. That makes sense. You can do
it. It's okay.
Project hot sub is officially a go.
Hey, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? What? What? I just told you to watch
And you start to leave. I got class. That's the secondary to this. This is
more important. That could be my future wife.
Okay.
I'm going to need a hot sub to watch my class while I'm watching these hot subs.
Yeah, but it can't be her.
You know what that makes me think of? Saying hot sub all those times.
It's me, Bob.
Anyway. Shane, let me ask you about sports.
Nice, nice.
Bobby. Hey.
It's a beautiful day, huh? Well, not when you're teaching Alex McKenzie. It's
where that guy wakes up in the morning just to ruin my day.
Rampant reinforcement.
Yeah. What? Rampant reinforcement. Every day I compliment every student.
Promotes their positivity, self -esteem, making them feel good about themselves.
Yeah. I don't know, Dwyer. This guy's a real turd.
I like those track pants you got on.
Oh, thanks.
And you got a glowing personality.
Oh, that's nice. Thank you.
Feeling good about that, right?
Yeah. That's rampant reinforcement.
Oh, you did the thing.
Because these are just old track pants.
Mr. Duncan, quick word.
Brandon Shire will be redoing his French test in your fourth period class today.
Oh, come on.
Fine, but I have somewhere to go right after school. I am not giving him
second. That's right. You're going to give him a whole hour of extra seconds.
What? Doctor's orders. He was just diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Poor
little guy. Just an excuse to give him an edge.
Would you be sensitive? He had a total meltdown after he just wrote a test.
Cracked under the pressure.
I'm a bitter end, Brandon. All right, here's what I'll do.
Give him 15 extra minutes.
Great. Then do that four times.
Problem solved.
Wait a second. That's an... This
is the sexy man I've been looking
for. Just wondering about the dress code at La Estrella de la Noche.
Well, I was thinking instead we might have a... Super special night at Los
Spireles. Huh?
Barrel. Barrel?
How's that special?
Well, we got a private booth. I looked into Estrellas, and they only have
communal seating, which, not for me.
Really, Simon?
I know the bartender.
Bill? That's the one. And she said we could get a candle, we could have all
little virgin daiquiris our hearts desire, and, best of all, no dress code.
Yeah, I mean, I guess as long as we're together, that's the important thing.
Great, sounds good. We're celebrating specials.
Hey, Shane.
How are you? I'm going to give you a tour of Xavier and show you some of the
secrets hidden in these walls.
Okay, I was just asking Mary, actually. Forget Mary. You would not believe the
stories buried in these closets.
Actually,
I'm going to have you work quietly today on anything you want, so you have a
work period, so let's get started on that.
Aren't we supposed to work on our group projects? Change of plans, Lori, because
I got Brandon here writing a French test.
Don't stare at him.
That's the last thing he needs right now.
What's all that stuff on his desk?
Lori, you're so nosy.
Brandon has a sickness.
Got anxiety disorder.
He can't write tests without panicking. Trying to make it more comfortable for
him to write a test because he panics. And I want him to be finished quickly.
Stop staring at him.
You're making him feel weirder than he is.
I get to work quietly.
Oh, almost forgot.
There you go, Brandon.
Louise, you are a treat to teach. Your smile lights up this classroom every
Thank you.
Okay. Jared, come on up here.
Okay, Jared.
You bring out the best in people. Your kind ways makes us all better people.
Thank you.
All right.
Alex, come over here.
Okay.
Alex?
You have... It's calming.
Just wait.
Okay.
Hey, Frank!
Morning, Bobby.
Everybody, it's Frank!
What's up?
Oh, just... I need to stall. I'm doing Dwyer's rampant reinforcement thing. I
like the rough stuff, too, but we're in school.
No, you weirdo. It's when you start the day with compliments, and then that
breeds positivity and self -esteem. That sounds really great.
I'm going to try that, too. It's not as easy as it sounds, Frank. I got this one
student that... Mitt, are we doing this or what?
Hold your horses, Alex. I'll be right with you.
This one guy.
Quiet!
I'm almost finished.
Ah, yes, thank you.
The first page.
The first page.
How is that possible?
It's really hard to focus in here. How is it hard to focus? This is test
What more can I do for you? The waterfall is really loud.
Well, then I'll turn it off.
Okay, thank you.
Um, and I like looking at the clock to see how long I've got left, but the
flower, it's in, it's in my way and I can't. But didn't move the flower.
Oh, that's a good idea. I should have thought of that. Yes, you should have.
Um. The candles, they smell like my dead grandmother, which is distracting.
Okay.
God rest her soul.
You know, the first time she went blind... Why have you waited an hour to
me this?
I was scared to bother you. You're not bothering me. I need you to finish
quickly. Hey, Jerry.
Hey, Mary.
I was just going to head to the bar. Are you coming? Yeah, yeah, I'm right
behind you. I'm almost there.
Just got to finish up a couple of... You know what?
I want to buy you your first drink.
No, that is unnecessary. If anyone tries to buy you a drink, you say, no, Jerry
already bought me a drink.
Okay? I mean, if you insist.
Six dollars? Maybe six.
You know what?
Five's probably... Oh, no, no, no.
Taxes and tip.
Taxes and tip.
You're right. Here we go. Thank you.
Here's a good tip.
Oh, hey, Jerry.
Hey, Thor.
Mary, wait up.
Go get Thor.
I'm on it. Go.
Okay, I can't help anymore. You're done.
I have one page left, please. That's all. And then I have to proof it a
of times.
I need that.
My chest is tight.
The waterfall.
Candles. They're gone.
Why is there nothing in here?
Find a way. You make it work.
I got it.
Take your time.
Just say whatever comes naturally.
I'm not really sure what you want me to say, sir. Whatever you feel inside.
The goal is fostering positivity.
You're nice, I guess.
Nice? Come on, put a little effort into it.
Maybe you could say that I'm charismatic.
If you say so, David, you charmer. Keep going.
I don't really know you that well, sir.
You know, some people would say that I'm handsome.
Rhymes with ransom.
Handsome?
Wow.
Yes, thank you. I came at a left field. Bobby was right. I feel great. I feel
pretty uncomfortable.
All right, get out of here. Next!
Not very eloquent for an honor student.
Yeah,
sorry about the booth.
I should have made a reservation.
Yeah, I thought Simon did.
He did not.
Virgin daiquiris. Ooh, my fave.
That's why I ordered them.
That's going straight to my head. Yeah, there's no alcohol.
So, how's my favorite special little lady?
Oh, well, I'm better now that you're here.
Not on my watch.
Hey. Oh, hey.
How are you?
Let's go.
How are you doing? You look great.
I feel good. Okay,
sit there.
Take as long as you need, okay?
All right.
Show you a wand.
It's a great show.
You
made
it. I wouldn't miss it. This is my thing.
You're my thing. Oh, wow. Thank you, Rob. Thank you.
Sir?
So how long have you been teaching?
A bit, sir. Yeah, okay. That's great.
Substituting. Sir? How long have you been substituting?
Not now, okay?
I am done.
Yippee. Finished. Go back to your nook.
Why is there stone in here? Excuse me for one sec, Larry. How are you done?
I think I just find this place relaxing, to be honest. In a bar? It's more of a
restaurant bar, really.
This is more relaxing than what I'd set up for you at school. Well, my mom, she
likes the sauce, you know. Bit of a drink. Kind of grump and buff.
Yeah, they do.
I should do all my tests here.
I don't believe this.
You don't? You know how long it took them to write it at school?
Thank God. Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?
Shit, I love it here.
This is hard to pick up.
Jerry, so I get a phone call from Brandon's parents saying, hey, where's
son? Panicking.
And then I get a text message from an unnamed pervert on crutches saying that
he's at the bar with you. Okay, whoa. Yeah, I did. Because Brandon has
Miss Mason?
Let's go, Brandon.
You and I are going to talk about this later.
What the hell just happened? I don't know.
She's... Whoa.
Jerry, your wifey looks pissed.
That's why I say single.
Wait, what?
Are you married to Miss Mason? I'm sorry.
Mrs. Mason?
Well, it's, uh... Yes or no?
Yeah. Yes, I am, but we're not even physical, if you can believe that.
I can believe it.
You know what? I'm going to go.
Oh, come on.
Mary, honest? Why don't you find someone else to be your thing?
You little... Hey, Mary, wait up. Oh, yeah, right.
No, no. Allow me. Okay.
Here.
Oh, yeah, like that's going to happen, Frank.
No, no, that's fine. It's fine. No, leave it. Shut the door.
I see Simon has made himself a little friend.
All right, Simon, let's just cut to the chase, okay? I know what's really going
on.
Have I been that transparent?
Tonight was supposed to be our first kiss.
It's not very high on Simon's priority list.
You want a kiss? Go get it. Like a tall, hot sheet of something.
You're right.
I'm a 21st century woman.
I'm going to go get mine.
Yeah.
God, urgent.
Not for long.
I guess tonight was...
Nisha.
Nisha.
Nisha, wait.
Hey, rhinestone cowboy.
Just leave me alone, won't you?
No, I won't.
I can't. Maybe I was crazy to think that we could have something really special.
No. No.
No, the only thing crazy is how I feel about you. How do you feel about me?
I'll tell you.
Like a boy.
Standing in front of a girl, asking her to forgive him for kissing a different
boy. Because that boy wants to kiss that girl. The first boy, not the different
boy. And not different in a homophobic way. Different, just different from the
first boy. Shut up, Simon. Just shut up. Two different people.
Yeah, I know.
Just clarify.
You're stoked.
Oh, is it raining?
I hadn't noticed.
Another one bites the dust.
I want to look away, but I can't.
Oh, wait. I can.
Good night.
What, sir?
Nothing. Just keep writing your test so I'm out of here by midnight, please.
Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary.
I hope you come back.
Get out of there, Frank.
Give up, will you?
What?
Are you okay, sir?
Looks like you've got a bit of anxiety.
I did say that's very loud.
Oh, too bad.
Too bad. Stay gone.
All right. Well, I'm going to need more time for this then.
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