Original subtitles

I can't believe that worked.

I guess Newton was right. I stand corrected.

Unbelievable.

I knew we should have taped it.

Oh, hey, Lucy. What's up?

I'm looking for a mice and men.

Oh, you know what? I saw that. I think it was around the second bend of books.

Yeah, it was one of the starter books.

Second corner. Good book.

Mm -hmm.

Get out. Yes.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Gentlemen, you guys working away.

That's good. What is going on? I'm still marking.

I do not have to do that anymore, and I do not miss it one bit. I had these in

order. You know what I got to do last night? I watched the entire final season

of Friends.

Why? Because I'm Korean.

I have nothing to do now at night.

No, I mean, like, why would you watch the final season? I can understand

watching season one.

Season two.

Season three. Oh, season three.

It's nothing about Friends, Simon. What I'm saying is subbing is the best thing

that ever happened to me. Oh, Ross was on a break?

I mean, that's... Okay, that's a separate issue.

On a break?

You're on a break, Ross?

From Rachel?

For what, like an hour and a half? I get paid good money. I don't have to prep.

I don't have to mark.

I don't even have to talk to people. I don't have to talk to parents.

It's unbelievable.

I'm hot just thinking about it.

Anyway, I'm going to have a little siesta. So keep it down, please.

Jerry, I need to talk to you.

God, it's like I hear Lisa.

Is she allowed in here?

Busy. I'm busy, Lisa. Okay.

Mr. Willoughby had a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, I didn't have anything to do with that, Lisa, okay? No, Jerry, I need you

to take over his phys -ed classes.

Okay? That's great news.

JK through four.

No! Why did you add... It's not phys -ed, Lisa, when you teach JK through

okay? That's games.

That's not a real... I'm a real phys -ed person.

Do you have the authority to take me out of subbing, which I am loving, and put

me into a camp counselor position? I'm your boss.

Okay. Also, Ms. Leahy went into labor, so I need you to take over her grade 9

math and senior ethics. So congratulations, you're a full -time

Ethnics? Is that what we're doing now? Is that your new mandate to separate the

minorities from the... Ethics, Jerry.

That's a subject now? Is that what we've come to? You can learn all about it

when you mark these papers that Ms. Leahy didn't get to.

That's unethnical. Take them, Jerry.

She did this on purpose.

Hey, Sheely, nice sticks.

Shiny. Thanks.

How much mileage you got in those things?

Oh, not a lot.

You know my, uh, Bobby tattoo?

Yeah. Getting it removed and it got a little infected.

Ah, young love.

Well, I don't feel getting back together anytime soon and might have jumped the

tattoo gun a bit, you know? Oh, man, tell me about it. I've had that. Here,

this. Hmm?

I got this done.

When I was teaching English in Thailand, I proposed to a Thai lady of the night.

Oh, dear.

Yeah. Actually, no, this one I got for my mom's birthday.

I got one on my back.

All right.

Yeah, you, if you... Ah.

Yeah. Huh.

Turns out she didn't really love me.

And with a he.

Can I give you a hand? No, no, I got this.

I have so much newfound respect for you guys since I've been on crutches. The

world's not an easy place for the physically disabled.

It's an even harder place for the emotionally disabled, my heartbroken

You're right.

Whatever. Hey, wait up.

The cream is $90 a bottle, but totally worth it.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh. Hide your wallets, folks.

Morning, ladies. How is everybody doing?

Yeah, we're okay.

Well, I wish I could say the same for Timmy McGregor. Here we go. He has been

hospitalized for weeks with a heart condition.

How bad is it?

It's pretty bad.

Yesterday, for example, he bit into a carrot. He just passed out. How exactly

did he just pass out?

Mastication requires eight different muscles. It was too much exertion for

Well, that's just... Stupid. Everybody knows that you shouldn't put long, hard

objects in your mouth when you have a heart condition.

Theory. Cancel my Saturday night.

I have a murmur.

Okay. So his parents have had to take a leave of absence from work and the bills

are just piling up. It would be a real shame if they were forced to go back to

work given the circumstances.

I'm trying to raise... Scratch that. I will raise $2 ,000.

Look, we feel awful for little Timmy, but we also feel awful for your second

cousin's flooded basement.

Oh, yeah. And your friend Susan's dog who needed the leg operation. I'm

to feel sorry for the Trudy Walsh Foundation.

We just can't keep donating to every person and every cause.

You're right. I have overextended you. Timmy's parents were there for his first

words.

I don't need to be there for his last.

Oh, my God.

Give me a break, will you?

How much?

I want you to give whatever is meaningful to you.

That's good. Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

For Timmy.

Oh.

Very generous.

And this was your old homeroom, wasn't it? Ah, yeah. Brings back memories.

Hi.

Jerry, this is Mr. Leo Grundy. He was one of Xavier's finest teachers.

Oh, welcome back to the school. And this is Jerry.

He's, um... He's one of Xavier's... Go ahead.

I'm still searching for him. Think of something.

He's one of Xavier's just... Friendliest?

Nope, no, that's not it.

Couldn't just... Anyway.

It's nice to meet you. Unfortunately, I have a lot of marking to do.

Marking goes with the days.

Oh, no, they are not the days.

Retirement.

Those are the days.

Oh, I used to think like you, but truth is, I miss it. Miss the students.

Miss my colleagues.

Oh, that's sweet.

Thank you, Mr. Medication.

Do you miss the marking, too? The lesson plans?

Even that, if you can believe it.

No, I don't. I just love molding young minds.

Okay, so you taught, and you never once just stared at the clock over and over

and over again, wondering when the... Once in all my teaching years.

Even I mail it in the odd day, so... The odd day?

Try the odd month. Okay.

Anyway, it's nice to meet you. Enjoy your visit.

The point is, I miss all of it.

Nice to meet you. All right, let's keep going.

I have fun marking.

I'm jealous.

Here.

Bobby, pour you a coffee?

Um, okay, thanks.

Yeah? Yeah. Hey.

Yep.

You know... I could... You know what? I could probably just do this myself.

Good. Hey.

Yeah.

Get your own coffee, Bobby. I was just about to, Frank. This ship has sailed.

Yeah, I know. I ended it. He's moving on. You can go find a new host body to

infect.

Okay. It's obviously a bad day.

Wasn't that a little harsh?

What are you doing? I know that you've temporarily lost the use of your legs,

but have your balls stopped working too?

I don't think. You need to move on.

And I know just the place.

Pick you up at six.

How? You drive?

Yes, I drive, stupid.

How do you think I get here every day? I've got a lot to teach you.

See you tonight.

Cool.

Remember me?

No. Yeah, you do.

I met you at Xavier.

Oh, yes. You're the teacher who hates teaching.

I didn't say I hated it, but I'm not going to lie. It's... What was that?

I didn't... Oh.

Oh.

Just more marking. I still can't believe what you said about this stuff.

What did I say? You said you missed all the marking.

Don't you take it back. I heard you. Oh, yes, yes, yes. There's a real window in

the student mind.

Hey, like, for instance, look at this kid. Here, look at that there.

Like, look at that. What do you think of that, huh?

Look at some of that stuff.

Certainly has a lazy attitude towards grammar. Yeah, you don't never say that,

right? Oh, look at me.

I'm so sorry.

I'm infringing on your teaching privilege.

No, no, no, no. You're not. No, no.

You know what? Here.

Why don't you finish it since you started it?

You're teasing me. No, I'm not.

My gift to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And while you're doing that, okay, I'm just going to leave these.

And when you're done that, you can work on me, okay? I'm going to get a coffee.

Oh, allow me.

Those things never work.

See?

Very generous. After you.

Thank you.

Hey, Rob.

Usuals times two.

You can lose the name tag. You can be anyone you want here.

Why? What is this place?

This is home.

Oh, boy.

I'll take care of this.

What'd you do?

Roll your ankle playing softball?

No.

Shin splints from dancing like nobody's watching.

No, but good guess.

Kind of a funny story, actually. I had a tattoo removed on my calf.

It hurt like hell.

Wish I could feel the pain of a tattoo being removed.

All right, that's enough.

I vouch for this guy.

He's one of us, so back off.

All right, guys, let's roll.

You are a bad mother.

Bobby would never admit to being anywhere with me in public. Well, I'm

Bobby.

And you're my friend now.

I'm not going to be in class today, so I wanted to give you my assignment. Okay.

Well, I will mark that tonight and give it back to you tomorrow.

Sure you will, sir.

Oh. Yes, I will.

Shun expired.

You'll see, Sheila.

Tomorrow's pretty optimistic, Jerry. Is it? Really?

Let's just say I found a retired teacher.

that likes to help me mark things what yeah i know jackpot that's a game

yeah i got a mountain of papers to mark well how much does this guy charge how

much what how much does he charge per paper he is yeah he does charge a dollar

two dollars a paper that's very fair that's more than fair three i said two i

said two and he said no let's do three he saw that the fourth fourth

Four dollars? Four's too much. I gotta be honest. Three is good. I can get him

to three. You do that? You got volume.

Volume brings price down. I'll get him to three. Three it is. Okay.

It's about to work.

Will do.

Thanks, Jake. All right.

Great news, ladies.

Timmy is going to live.

We thought he was going to be bedridden for months.

Yeah, I thought he was terminal.

It's a miracle.

I hate to mention the elephant in the room, but what about the money that we

donated?

Stop right there. I'm glad you asked.

Timmy and his family are going to Disneyland!

Excuse me. Because of who?

Because of you.

Because of you.

Because of you!

Jerry, word in the hall is that you've got a guy.

What do you got? Give me what you got.

Just a multiple choice. Just a few short answers. Nothing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Rookie, not here.

You put it in my mailbox.

Sorry, Jerry.

And Jerry, thank you.

You've given me my weekend back.

Go.

Who could resist?

All over the country, teachers are buried under stacks of marking.

I was telling teachers their freedom.

Word was spreading. My operation was expanding.

It's $5 a paper now.

Stickers and comments aren't free.

Okay? Now get out of here.

Jared, do you think you can get Mark Lees for me?

Where's the money you owe me?

I'm still working on it. I need a little more time.

No, I don't do business with people that don't pay their debts.

Capisce?

You're right.

I'll work on it. Better.

Teachers were getting what they wanted, and I was getting what I wanted.

The end result?

Money. Lots of money.

Hey, buddy.

Great time last night. Wasn't it?

You know, Barb was asking about you. Which one's Barb?

Blue wheelchair.

No way.

I knew it. It felt like we connected. I knew we were vibing. You know, she

wasn't the only one. You were a hit. I didn't really have the heart to tell him

your only attempt.

Why? Is that going to affect my chances?

Oh, yeah.

You know, you could always lose a foot.

Barb is really hot, but it might be worth it.

Hey, if we were going to... Like, how does that work?

Back again.

I believe Mr. Grundy was going to leave something here for me at the front desk.

No, he didn't.

Okay,

but you didn't even look. He definitely hasn't left anything because Mr. Grundy

passed this morning.

He died this morning?

He was a good man.

It's a real shame.

Okay, but before he died, is there any chance he came down here, dropped

something off for me, and then went up and died?

No.

He's 100 % dead. Like, there's nothing. It's not a coma.

It's not.

No. No.

Hello, don't mind me. Hello, can I help you?

I'm just looking for something. Did you know her dad?

Yeah, your dad actually taught me. Really? Yeah, and I was supposed to

get something.

Yeah, I was actually coming in the last couple months just to see how he was

doing, and we had some great conversations.

That's strange. He never mentioned you.

Well, he never mentioned you to either, so were you... Can we help you?

No, I'm good. I got exactly what he was supposed to give me.

Before he expired.

I'm sorry.

His decline was so sudden.

He seemed fine a week ago. All of a sudden, he started rambling about test

papers that he...

And hours of marking to get through. He seemed happy, but overwhelmed at the

same time. He did not forget to do these. What is that?

You know what? I'm so terrible.

Let's have a prayer.

Come on in here.

Eternal rest grant to him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.

In the name of... Oh, I always forget the ending of this one.

May the souls of all the faithful depart.

That's not it.

Something, something, something. Anyway, one, two, three, four.

Hey, Frank.

Frank. I'm excited for drinks tonight.

Can't. Oh, because I'm... I can't be seen with you like this. You gotta walk

walk and talk the talk, and you don't walk the walk anymore.

So I guess this is it, then.

I guess.

Hey, maybe you'll get hit by a car one day.

Yeah, maybe.

Fingers crossed.

We had some really good times, though, didn't we?

Bad.

Bad.

Terrible news, you guys.

Timmy is back in the hospital.

Yeah, he's in pretty bad shape, and the doctors say that it's touch and go.

I'm so sorry to hear that, Misha.

Thank you.

Well, isn't it wonderful that he got to go to Disneyland?

So, uh, naturally, the family could use all the help that they can get right

now. Oh, of course. Yeah, let me just get my wallet.

Yeah. So his heart's acting up again. What? No, heart's fine. He, um, he got

silly on one of the roller coasters, and he...

Stuck his leg out.

Just having fun.

He's such a prankster.

Anyway, his foot got stuck in the machinery.

Then he got dragged through the loop -de -loop.

Again and again, over and over. And the carnies thought that they were screams

of delight.

But these were not screams of happiness, you guys.

Do you get what I mean?

What you're saying is, little Timmy, He's a dumbass.

Want to go ahead and put my wallet away now?

No, I think you guys are confused.

Every roller coaster is its own thing. He's a fun kid. We feel for the family,

but you can't donate to every idiot kid.

No. That would be like half the school.

Okay, and remember, I need you to get these tests signed by your parents.

In the next class, we're going to be discussing plagiarism, so make sure you

read that chapter.

Does anyone know what plagiarism is?

Appropriating another person's work and passing it off as one's own. Yes, and

not the end of the world, really.

So, you put a comment on my test.

What does 77 % nice job, I'm out of milk mean?

Mike says, I'm out of the little blue pills.

Help! Exclamation point. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mine says, the nurses are

trying to kill me.

And there's no mark. Okay, pass your test up to the front, please. Everyone,

take them quickly. Stop reading the comments.

Someone is playing a joke on you and me. Thank you. Stop reading the comments.

Yes, Lori?

What's a little blue pill? Ask your father. Thank you.

After all the marking and all the cash, it turned out Grundy wasn't much help at

all. What can I say?

It was good while it lasted. But in the end...

All we had left were a bunch of papers with horribly offensive comments in the

margins. So we wound up right back where we started.

Marking. All with fucking marking.