Original subtitles

Okay, Faith, what did you bring in today?

Yeah, go ahead. What do you have there today?

Show and tell us. Tell us what you brought in today.

Who knows what Faith has? Who knows what it is? Great. See, everybody knows.

Everybody knows.

Yeah, look at all the people that know. I know you know, so why don't you give

us that college try and tell us what you brought today, even though it's...

Not the best thing.

Okay, you can have a seat. Thank you for showing. Just to recap the rules, we

show and then we talk about it. That's the tell part. Who's next? Phillip,

Phillip, what do you have?

I brought in a rocket ship and a monkey underneath her pillow.

Okay, that's great. Phillip, thank you for that. I have a switch here to turn

on. It buzzes like a rocket ship.

All right, you can have a seat now.

Look out, Mr.

D. You're coming in for a landing.

No, it's good. Okay, okay, you know what? No, let's not do that.

You broke

his rocket, champ.

Oh, now you talk.

Hey,

Jerry. Shh.

Jerry. Shh.

Almost done.

Well, I'm just standing here. Almost done. You can't read what I'm talking

about.

Multitask.

Okay. What was the article about?

Don't care.

You're subbing in Mr. Campbell's math class this week, right? Yes, I am. Just

wanted to let you know there's going to be an EA in there.

Great. What's an EA?

Oh, dear.

An educational assistant?

They can help kids who need a little extra help stay on task.

In this case, this one's coming in to help Stefan with his ADD.

We spoon feed these kids.

I have ADD.

I come in all alone, every day, by myself.

No one holding my hand.

You have ADD?

Breaking news alert.

And you know, it's funny because I taught him for three years and no EA

needed. Who is teaching Stefan this week?

I'm going to be teaching him this week.

That's why there's going to be an EA.

I think it's semantics.

Really?

Oh, guitar lesson.

Don't mind if I do.

Interested. Yeah.

I've been trying to learn Your Body is a Wonderland since 2001.

Yeah. I want to play it for my mom.

It's kind of our song.

It's kind of weird, but I'm not in a position to be turning down clients

about now.

Money's tight. Ever since we got divorced, my wife's been taking me to

cleaners.

It's like God keeps closing one door on me.

Keeps giving her more of my stuff.

Oof, I get it. Yeah, I tried to divorce my mom when I was 16.

But she talked me out of it. Ended up doubling down. We got a dog.

So, in it for the long haul now.

Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yep, okay.

Alright.

Ugh.

Cannot believe this beat me in the coloring contest.

Yuck.

I don't like it.

No.

Hello? Everybody, I need you to focus up here, please.

People, excuse me, I'm here.

Hey, settle down, okay, guys? Mr. Duncan is speaking.

Thank you.

I can do that.

All right, everyone, this is Mr. Davies. He is an educational assistant, and he

is going to help with one of our students, Stefan, who has a learning

disability, okay?

Which he didn't have when I taught him.

So, what does that tell you? You can start assisting by, uh, racing the

Um, that's not really my job. I'm going to take a seat besides Kessa.

Okay, not much of an assistant.

Uh, nope.

Okay, I will stay in today.

Mr. Campbell's away, so I'm just going to give you a work period because I have

some things I want to catch up on. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Duncan. Um, it says here

that Mr.

Campbell wanted you to cover Chapter 6.

No, no.

No, you're right, actually. I forgot.

Okay, chapter six.

Turn to chapter six.

Page 48.

Thank you. 48.

I'll speed things up.

Can anyone tell me what Pythagorean theorem is?

Lucy? The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the square of the

other two sides.

Yes. I didn't know that.

That's why I'm here, pal. That is correct.

Thank you, Lucy.

All right, get started. Read quietly, please.

Okay, get started, people.

Quietly.

Hi, Kira.

Hey, man.

Can I have my lunch in here? Yeah, don't you want to eat with the rest of your

friends, though?

They don't want to eat with me.

Why not?

Well, there's a rumor going around school.

Spoiler alert.

Apparently, I'm annoying.

Yeah, kids can be kind of mean, huh?

Yeah, of course. You can have lunch with me. Thank you. Just FYI, I need to

do... I've got a little bit of work to do, so... Okay. I'll just let you finish

that. Yeah.

I have to work. Oh, okay. Okay?

I wonder what my mom made me for lunch today.

Spoiler alert, it's tuna.

Enjoy, right?

Spoiler alert.

Have you two tonsils removed?

You know, Kara, actually I have. Spoiler alert, I forgot mine.

Hey, why don't we play a game, who can be the quietest? Oh, I love that game.

Right? One time my brother played with me, and then what happened?

Spoiler alert.

We both lost.

I'm surprised.

Okay.

You know what? We're playing the game though, right?

Oh, yeah.

Hey.

Spoiler alert.

I like this game. We're still playing it. Okay, that counts. We're starting

Now. So... Okay.

No, I can still. You're losing, so... Hey,

Marty. Can I get a quick word with you?

Sure thing. What's up?

Listen, if you could do me a favor, when we're in class, just don't correct me

in front of the kids. Oh, of course. Did I do that? A couple times.

Kids really look up to me here at the school, so it's really awkward and

uncomfortable for everybody when you're teaching, I'm teaching. Oh, I hear that.

It's just I have this innate desire to help people, and sometimes I go too far.

You know what I mean? No.

Second thing, I know it's big, too.

Please, please let the kids answer the questions. They're not for you. They're

for the kids. Oh, man. There go my insecurities again.

Last thing, and this is the big one.

Let me discipline the kids. You got it, boss. If there's one thing my folks

believe... So we're good?

No, Jerry.

No. We're great. Oh, okay.

All right.

Thanks, Mike.

No, no, no, no, no.

I gotta call you back.

Okay, who wants to know guitar?

Is, uh... Is everything okay?

It could be better. Just got out to phone my lawyer.

Looks like my ex is getting the house.

Oh, no.

It's just things, right?

Yeah, but it's nice to have them while you're alive.

Yeah, come on. Life's not about possessions. It's about relationships.

Bet your wife left you.

Touché, son.

Touché. Didn't know how you were going to react to that.

At least I still got music, right?

Yeah. So I'm just going to tune this up.

Just going to... One more time from the top. Raw tempo.

All right. Yeah, one more time. Okay, yeah, I'm just...

before we get started again start again yep okay one more time

yeah i'm just gonna get it in yeah it's almost there it's almost there it's just

yeah i just feel like you think i'm playing a song right now and i'm really

calm down just yeah one more time it's okay okay i know you're new

shaking a lot.

We're having fun here, right?

I am.

Okay. There are 30 multiple choice questions.

No talking when you write this, please.

You know the rules when we write things.

Excuse me.

Sorry. I'm in your way.

You have 45 minutes.

Get started.

Any questions?

No questions.

Okay. Okay.

Get started, please.

Keep your eyes on your own paper, please.

Stefan's test.

Whoa.

93 %?

Yeah. Looks like someone's really responding to the EA, huh?

No, he's not responding to anyone.

He's listening to the EA feed him the answers when he writes it.

What are you talking about? I know this kid. There's not enough EAs in the

country to get him 93 % on a test.

Hold the wedding.

Are you accusing Marty of something?

I'm not accusing him. I'm telling you. He basically took this test for him. So

he's writing down the answers for Stefan? Might as well.

Standing there feeding him the answers. That's why the EA sit right beside him.

Then he whispers the answers in his ear.

You know what Marty's guilty of?

Doing his job.

He's assisting him.

Educational assistant.

He's unlocking some real blocks and giving Stefan the tools he needs to

academically. Is that what he's doing? You can't teach a kid to stop being

stupid. No, you can't.

But apparently Marty can.

93. Okay, easy.

Hey, buddy.

Oops, oops, your door's locked. The door is actually broken. Yeah, it won't

open. Are you sure? Positive.

Oh.

Is this one broken, too?

Weird thing. Yeah, it is.

Are all of them broken?

Isn't that nuts?

That sucks. Yeah.

Sorry, buddy.

Spoiler alert. Your sunroof's open.

Uh -oh. No.

No.

It's not.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Incoming.

Oh, that's not necessary.

I've got to pull three cleats.

This is nice.

Do these seats recline?

Oh, that's cool.

What is happening?

If you had a dog, what would you name it?

Oh, it's like this.

No. I've got to call you back. Is everything okay, Paul?

Just living life, man.

Oh, so it turns out that my ex gets to keep my dog.

I'm sorry to hear that. Paul Jr.'s.

That's my best friend.

That stinks.

I thought by the time he pulled me out of a burning building, he was nothing

his bare teeth.

The little dog? The dog?

Yeah. Pulled you out of the... Yeah, he did.

Strong dog. Okay.

Wow. Hey, we can skip today's lesson. No, no, no.

I don't want to stop your progress, your journey.

That's nice of you. In fact, we can stay extra long.

Since I won't be walking Paul Jr. anytime soon, right?

Yeah.

This is going to be fun.

Okay, let's close our books up. Slide them to the top of your desk, please.

of the way.

There you go.

Because we are going to have a surprise test.

But we just had one.

Right, but that was too easy.

This one has no multiple choice. This one is short answer, long answer. You

to prove all of your formulas. I want all the detailed work. Don't leave

anything out.

It's ten questions, ten marks each.

Okay? That's not fair, sir.

Ah, life's not fair. Okay?

It's okay. We got this.

Yeah, you got this.

Hey, oh, Mr. Davies, can I speak with you now for one sec?

Absolutely. Thank you. Teacher, teacher.

Right back.

Okay. Oh, man, you know, it's really been helpful having you. Okay. Well,

do that, okay?

All right.

Okay. All right. Let's get started.

No talking. Get your thinking caps on. Do the best you can.

All right? I'm right here. Go.

Good luck, everybody.

Okay. All right.

Let's get your heart back to where it should be, okay?

Get that 35 going again.

Oh, hey, Paul.

You look like you're feeling better. It's what you wear ear to ear that

right? Ah, smile.

Let's hear how this song's coming.

Great. Just a little scale.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Good. Jam on that.

You're practicing.

One sec.

Yeah,

a photo message from my ex. Oh, no.

No!

No!

What's going on?

She left the gate open.

Paul Jr.'s gone, man. He's a runner.

He's got to be halfway to Mexico by now. I'm sure he'll come back. She's

terrible with directions. She knew what she was doing. What did you do to this

woman? The only crime I could think of is loving her too much. I'm sorry about

Paul, Paul.

When life feeds you lemons, right?

Got it.

Let's hear how this beautiful music sounded.

Are you sure? I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay.

Okay.

Just a little F chord.

How about if I take the heat for that one?

Seems like whatever you did with that test, you really ruffled some feathers,

huh? Yeah, proves my point. Marty was feeding them the answers.

Or does it prove that you're not doing enough to prepare your kids for their

test? No, it proves Marty was useless.

Well, Marty must have done something right, because I got three separate

from parents this morning wanting EAs for their own kids because they were so

concerned about the test.

What? Come on in, guys.

Chris? Gerard?

That's my chair.

Oh, my God.

Desiree? This is such a surprise.

Don't even tell me.

Steven? What are you doing here?

Oh, my God. What kind of... Oh, no!

John! The bed is back.

Oh, wow. We're all going out for bubble tea after this.

Let's take up the homework. Know the answer to number one.

No. Who under the age of 30 knows the answer to question number one?

Under the age of 30.

Good try.

Nobody believes you're under 30.

Thank you.

None of the students. No one knows. Not one.

Go ahead, Marty.

The circumference equals 2 .5 meters.

I knew that.

Good for you. I also do. Oh, wonderful.

Who didn't know that?

Good stuff.

All the adults know. Isn't that wonderful how great it is to have you in

helping the kids?

Can you come show me how to do number five? Okay, yes. The rest of you start.

Okay, I'm going to have this later.

I will show you later because right now I can't because of this.

You start reading chapter six, work on section three, please. We're actually on

section two. Shouldn't we be on section four by now? Okay. He's a little behind.

You, keep it down.

Good job.

Lucy, is it? Yeah. Just give me your notebook. I'll just do number five for

Thanks.

Oh,

music

theory, huh?

Yeah, I figured I'd play it safe for the next little while.

Probably a good idea.

Look very sorry what happened to your guitar, man. Oh, you know what? Water

under the bridge.

Although it is the last thing my dad gave me before he took off forever.

I'd like to make it up to you.

Well, can you bring my dad back?

How much was it?

Ah, you can't put a price on memories.

A hundred dollars?

You can, apparently.

Okay. It doesn't matter. I have nothing.

Sorry.

Yeah, all right.

I am intrigued.

I threw you away.

Hey, lady. Hi.

You haven't eaten with us in a while. I know. I've been trying to catch up on

some things, but it hasn't really worked out, to be honest. Well, it is nice to

have you back. It's nice to be back.

I can't tell you what a week it's been. I was trying to get some work done, but

I could get, like, no peace. Little Kara, she was popping in all the time.

to be honest, she's a bit of a turd. I can't tell you how many times I've heard

the word spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. Have you

ever had lunch with a student? Because spoiler alert, it is not fun.

questions. Okay, have you ever been asked if you have a staph infection?

Because I have, but then again, who hasn't? Hello?

Staph infections are very common.

It's not that common, really. And also, I'm not going to talk about it with a

student because I have boundaries. What am I going to do? Just confess

everything? Here's my staph infections. This is where the scar is.

This is where they've infected it. Do you know what? Do you know what? I have

kid that has the green. The thing about staph infections is that they're very

uncomfortable. The drainage, very uncomfortable.

And a little bit smelly. I didn't realize it would be this smelly, but I

couldn't believe it myself. This is fun. I was there for like half an hour. I'm

going to go.

All right.

Let's go. We'll circle back.

I'll tell you the whole thing about the staph infection, because to be honest,

it was a shocker for me.

Look, it sits for a little while, but I don't see why this is necessary.

Think of it as an experiment.

Stupid. Is it?

Yes. Sir, when did Chapter 7 do?

Friday. Told you three times, Friday.

Thursday.

Thursday.

Okay.

All right.

Maybe I was wrong.

Thank you.

So sorry about your dog, Paul.

Yeah, just holding on to hope now.

Hey, great attitude.

That's a lot of posters you got there.

That's nothing. I already posted up a few hundred. Well, I'd help you out, but

don't want to, really. Does that say .com?

Sure does.

My email's .net. Oh, no, that's a real shame.

Hey, well, I've been meaning to work on my penmanship.

That's that old Paul Dwyer attitude.

Easy.