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All right, before we get started, get up here.
Me? Yes, you.
Come here.
I would like to introduce everyone to our new foreign exchange student from
Japan, Hashiro Fukuoka.
Welcome. Sir, I'm Calvin.
Okay, his Western name will be Calvin. So let's give him a warm Xavier welcome.
No, sir, I'm Calvin. I've been in your class all year.
Mr. Duncan, sorry to interrupt. Yeah. Just wanted to introduce you and
to Xavier's latest exchange student, Hashiro Fuguoka.
One sec.
Have you sat there all year? Well, today, but sometimes I like to sit over
there. Okay, well, that's the problem. You can't move around like that or it
gets confusing. Sorry, sir.
You're Japanese, okay, and you're what?
Chinese. Chinese, you see?
Japanese, Chinese, they're both knees. See how they can... No, I don't see
Oh, dear.
I'm going to leave you to it. Okay. Yeah.
Calvin, sit down.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome from Japan, Hashiro Fukuoka.
There we go. Welcome.
Hashiro Fukuoka.
You may have a seat. You, have a seat.
Okay. I will have a seat.
Both.
Sit there or here.
Don't move.
I'm awesome. No, you're not.
I hate that Jimmy works for a
hangout. And promoted. Server.
Oh, give me a break.
Nice hat.
Oh, thanks.
My friend's getting married, which apparently means all her friends are
humiliated. Oh.
Can I? I'll be with you in a sec.
Okay.
Jerry.
What's your name?
Amber. Nice.
Nice. From around here?
No.
Where are you from?
Atlantic City. What do you do in Atlantic City?
Well, I work at a casino.
Caesars. Caesars. Yeah. Cool. I fly back tonight.
Oh, no. Do you want to settle it?
Yes, thank you. We had three pictures of beer, four Manhattans, a bottle of
champagne, three rounds of shots.
Wow, good memory.
Amber, you want to see a great memory? Throw me your digits, and I will show
how I remember it without writing it down. I live in Atlantic City.
What I forgot to tell you was we're going there.
Really? Yeah, we're making a road trip. You just forget it. That would be so
fun. Yeah, so if you give me the number, I don't need the area code, but I will
memorize it, and that's how I work.
Okay. 4 -2 -2? 4 -2 -2. 6 -5 -3 -8. 6 -5 -3 -8. 4 -2 -2 -6 -5 -3 -8. Amber from
Atlantic City. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 4 -2 -2 -6 -5 -3 -8. Give me
a pen. Give me a pen. 4 -2 -2 -6 -5 -3 -8. Oh, sorry. The pen's down here now.
Give me a pen. No, hold on. I'm trying to tally up the bill because it was 6
and then 8 -99.
Would you stop, Jimmy? We have a raise. 25 % raise. They're gone. They're gone.
I'm sorry. Were you trying to remember something? Her number.
Now she's gone.
Should have written it down.
You guys are jerks.
I got this for your mouth. Oh, boy.
Wow. Just the way you like it.
Soy milk with a shot of vanilla.
Right, that's not necessary. Thank you. I know, but I like you a latte.
That's... Hey, guys, Simon's hot.
Oh, Tuesdays. Someone's a teacher's pet. Someone's a teacher's pet. Meow. I'm
not like a cat.
That's not for me. You're... That's... You. So this isn't for me. Is that the
bell? Is that... No, because this isn't something... He buys, too. He likes
coffee that much. This is not anything that is... Yeah, it's almost... And
there's the bell. So there you go. Whoa.
She heard that bell so early.
Shut up, Polly.
No, you're crazy.
What happened last night after I left? Did you end up banging that girl?
Yeah. Do you mind?
What? She didn't. She did?
She didn't.
She didn't. Hey, I don't care.
If she did or if she didn't. But if you don't start using your inside voice,
you're going to be the one who gets banged.
And obviously I don't mean in a good way.
Okay, so you think her number starts with a four? Yes, I know that much.
and there's a three in it and a six at the end? It's all in my head. The
are mixed up, right?
I've got to find this girl, Simon. I'm with you, pal. Don't worry.
We'll unlock the combination to your loneliness.
Thank you.
So for each blank digit, you multiply by 10 for each option. If you have to
switch two numbers, that doubles your possibilities. And if it's one of
numbers, that multiplies your possibilities again.
And there you have it.
You know our number?
Better. I've narrowed it down to 32 ,805 possible numbers.
How is that better, Simon?
It's going to take me days to dial all those combinations.
Weeks. There's got to be an easier way to remember this number.
You could have written it down. That's easier.
Well, I didn't write it down. I thought you were a scientist.
Yeah, but that's not a mathematician.
I feel like that's a crucial difference.
Time to go back to what you're good at, Simon.
Making bears.
Okay, overall, I would say you did very well on the nutrition unit.
Hi. Sorry to interrupt. I got you a surprise.
Oh, thank you for that.
I've actually been asking for new equipment, so that's helpful. Thank you.
Anything for my gal. Okay.
Right, you're Galka.
I'm your Galka. I'm everybody's Miss Galka, really.
Excuse me, Miss Galka, but I think you marked this wrong. Hey, I will not stand
idly by and watch you heap hate on this teacher.
Hey, that's just a question she asked. One week's detention.
But I didn't mean... Keep pushing me, then we'll see what's up. Two weeks! Do
make myself clear? No, you do not need to cry. No week's detention, okay? Mr.
Cheely, can I see you in the hallway for a second, please?
I see. Couldn't wait to get me alone, you little minx.
You cannot come into my classroom and act like we're together.
You got it? What, are you worried about them? They don't pick up on anything.
They don't even know we're in a relationship.
Okay, we are not in a relationship. Hey, I like your pants.
Oh, I see. You want to keep the dirty stuff that happens in the love cave on
DL? No sweat.
Here we go. Except the sweat that we generate when we're together.
I think it's time we just let it all hang out proudly.
Are you kidding me? I'm not proud. This is an embarrassment to me. I see. You
want our private life to stay private when we're here in private school.
Yeah, and maybe out in public as well. Just everywhere.
Cool.
I'll call you.
Lisa, how would you like to go to Atlantic City?
Oh, I'm not much of a gambler.
It's not for gambling. There's a big teacher's conference there on social
sciences at the end of this week.
Emptying, Jerry, but, I mean, it's the last minute. You know how big of a
planner I am. You don't have to plan anything. I've planned the whole thing.
I need you to do is walk into Callahan's office with me and say this is
important that we go. Who's speaking?
You know who's going to be there? That guy you love, that professor, you're
always a social sciences guy, Professor... Professor Dominic Vigiani?
Vigiani. Oh, man. He is there. He is at it. Well, that would be amazing. He is
my hero. I love his ethnographic documentary series. It's like the best
hours of my life.
Well, he's probably going to talk about that, too.
I'm booked to go see him in Buffalo next year. Next year?
Lisa, he's not well.
He's not going to live the next year.
Well, can't I let it go? If you and I agree that this is important, that we
he will say go.
Okay. Okay? All right. Oh, my gosh. Remember, you owe me one. All right.
This is going to be fun.
I wonder if he's single.
I mean, he's 80, but... I'm going to check us in, Lisa. Welcome to Atlantic
City. Do you have a reservation? I do, but first I have a quick question. I'm
trying to find a girl that works here.
Jerry, we're in the wrong hotel. No, we're in the right hotel. I booked it, I
know. No, no, the conference isn't at this hotel. It's at another hotel like
minutes away. Yeah, actually, I tried to get a room there, but they were booked
solid. We can't drive three hours a day.
Why don't you just watch the bags? I'm just going to take care of this. No,
on one sec. Lisa, Lisa, hello, hello.
We're in Atlantic City.
Right now. No one even goes to the teacher's conference anyway, so who
Well, I care. I came here to learn.
Well, I came here to try to find a girl named Amber that I met that works here.
You brought me to Atlantic City so you could meet a girl?
Yeah, I know. So you never intended to go to the conference?
Nobody plans to go to these conferences, Lisa. That's what teachers do.
We book a conference in a cool place, and the school pays for it.
We just go hang out, have fun.
Well, I'm still going because I signed up for finding the little educator
you. Oh, my God, you're hopeless.
Relax, have fun, enjoy yourself for once. Stop thinking about education.
So Professor Dominic Vigiani was never going to be here?
No. He's not dying?
I don't know. I don't know who he is. Oh, good.
You get in that casino, you go have fun, and you go win yourself some money,
okay? And I'll see you in a couple days, all right?
Oh!
She's out!
This girl's name is... Amber.
Do you know her?
Well... Is that Emma?
Yeah.
Did I ever tell you how me and Boris met?
No.
Too bad, because I'd love to remember.
That sounds like a party. That sounds very inappropriate, don't you think?
Ooh, someone is jealous. No, there's nothing romantic between me and Robert,
okay? It's just a booty call.
I mean, I have told you that over and over again, so drop it.
You're a filthy liar.
Oh, Robert, you're hilarious.
No. Hey, Emma.
Hey, Robert.
Gawker?
I mean, that's nothing. He's not, he's, he's into me.
Yeah, clearly.
Security, Wally World.
I'm just playing around.
Hey, I'm looking for a girl that works here named Amber.
Would you guys tell me where I can find an Amber?
All due respect, sir, we can't give her personal information on staff.
What's your name, sir?
Well, you just gave me personal information about your staff.
The rule doesn't apply to ourselves.
Well, what kind of rule is this?
A rule we're paid to enforce, sir.
Look, we're all guys here.
I flew down here to find Amber, who would like me to find her. She's my
this girl, possibly.
Good -looking girl. Very, very good -looking.
Girl you would date.
Girl I would date.
What about me?
You're not going to help me.
I'll find her myself.
Amber?
Amber. Amber. Amber.
Can I help you? No.
Thought I lost.
How's the cruise?
Nice. Any hot guys?
Who?
She was nice, but, you know, she didn't put out.
Frank. Yeah, Mom, no, you raised a good... I already told you to go.
Yeah, don't worry, Mom, I still get plenty.
Yeah, they're lining up around the block.
Hang on, Mom.
Mom, I'm going to have to call you back.
I'm going to have to call you back!
Hi, gal.
Hey, you wouldn't happen to know an Amber that works here, would you? Who?
Amber.
What?
Your shirt, bad luck, number 44.
Bad luck, go, go. Oh, yeah, 44, Reggie Jackson. Sorry, you're looking for
Kimber? No, Amber, not Kimber. I'm looking for Amber.
Blonde? No, she's not blonde.
Kimber's a blonde.
Forget it. Don't, don't. You, go.
Touch my shirt.
You take off your shirt if you want to sit here. Oh, well, look who it is.
What's going on? He's looking for Kimber.
Amber, I'm looking for Amber.
I've told you once, sir, we don't give out staff information.
So I'm going to have to ask you to step away from the table. How about her
ripping out my shirt trying to take... Sir, I don't know what you're up to, but
the city's self -officially warned.
Flash, falafels are ethnic food. Well, that's why I said put it on my tabooly.
What? You guys sound like you're having fun.
Oh, Robert was just telling me about falafel.
I'd yell at the guy because he got the order wrong. Right, but that was
your fault because you ordered it, but you threw it out.
It's hilarious.
Thank you. So where are you guys off to?
I don't know.
Nowhere. Unless,
I don't know.
Do you want to grab a drink, Robert?
Now that is.
Tempting, my lady. Oh, my lord.
Oh,
well, excuse me.
I'm with her.
The three of us want to grab a drink somewhere.
What was your number, Amber?
I'll never do that again.
I will always write down the phone number.
Fifty. Hit me.
You're taking his bus card. Shut it, short stack.
Hit me.
Twenty -one.
Yeah. Hit me.
Two minutes.
Damn it. Oh, don't be a crybaby.
Oh, my God. I'm cleaning up here, Jerry. This is fun.
Someone's having fun because I can't find Amber. No one will help me find her
here. Customer service here is terrible.
Let me just remember her number.
4 -2 -4 -6 -4 -6.
Hit me.
21.
Begin. Oh, this is awesome. I'm so good at this.
Sure. Can you and your friend follow us outside?
What? For what? What did we do? So you've disregarded numerous warnings
and now you're cheating at the tables.
Oh, come on.
I'm just sitting here. What do you mean cheat? I'm not even playing.
You've been counting cards. Oh, that is bullshit.
Counting cards? Are you guys insane?
that account card. I heard you. It's 4262.
You weren't even subtle about it. I'm trying to remember a phone number. Yeah,
right. Like I was born yesterday.
It's impossible for her to be winning the way she's playing. Maybe I'm just
of smart.
Let's go, sir.
Jerry, let go of those. Let's go. Give me a break. Amber, they're throwing me
out. Amber.
Amber, it's me, Jerry. This is your last chance.
That was a quick trip.
I've never been banned from any place ever in my life. I never felt so alive.
You okay?
Just lost a girl in my dreams, so no.
Not okay.
Jerry, you know, if you're meant to be together, you'll be together.
I truly believe that.
Thanks. I like this romantic side of you. It's kind of adorable.
Shut up.
That's half of mine, by the way.
Yes, it is. I brought you here. You wouldn't have won it without me.
I'll think about it.
Rudy?
I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was obnoxious.
I will not be speaking on my phone in your presence again.
Thank you.
Is there anything else you'd like to say to me?
Um... No.
That noise, like demon claws scratching at my brain.
Thank you, Mr. Malick.
That's a shame.
Well, well, well.
So Bobby and Robert are officially a thing.
Oh, my God.
Is it around everywhere?
Apparently, Bobbert is trending.
I can barely keep this coffee down.
I blacked out. All I saw was his face and then his lips, but inside my brain,
was screaming, No!
But nothing was coming out. Maybe that's because his tongue was strangling your
vocal cords. Okay, no, no, we are through, okay? Completely through, this
for sure.
Mm -hmm.
Bobby? Yeah. Ever since your declaration of love yesterday afternoon, I've been
thinking a lot about us nonstop. And you know the old expression that a
picture's worth a thousand words?
Sure.
Well... Oh, my... What?
What's so funny? Can I tell him? Oh, God.
Come on.
It's none of your beeswax, Trudy.
Is that permanent?
I got a system, and it all makes sense if you look at it right.
You gotta stand back from it.
I came so close.
She's gone.
Let her go.
I'll find her.
Can I get a pint of amber?
My friend's getting married, which apparently means all her friends are
humiliated.
I'm trying to find a girl named... Amber. Amber. Amber.
Amber. Amber.
From around here?
Atlantic City?
Atlantic City? I'm trying to find a girl.
What do you do there?
What do you do there?
Amber.
Sorry, I work in a casino. I work at a casino.
Caesar. Caesar.
That's the big one, I think. Casino. That's the big one.
Give me your number and I will not even write it down. There you go, man. There
you go, man.
422. 422.
Okay.
422. 422.
422. 653.
I work at a casino.
Casino. Casino.
Casino.
You okay?
She lied. She made the whole thing up.
Can you blame her?
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't
exist.
Shut up, Warren. You say that every week. You cut it off. You're cleaning
up, right? No, I'm not cleaning it up. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going
to go back to Atlantic City and back to that casino, and I'm going to find her.
And I'm going to say, hey, Amber, what was that? What was that you did?
All the little stuff.
No. Good conference?
Oh, the best. It was really good. It's not even the word for it.
What is?
What? What is the right word for it? What would you say? Awesome. Awesome?
Yeah, that's a great word for it. Great, great. Tell me all about it.
Jerry could probably tell you about it.
Okay. Well, one of my favorite parts was we had a Chinese speaker.
A lot of stuff about the classroom, making the classroom environment warmer,
lot of plants.
Plants are good. Although my room was loud. There was like some angry babies
next door just yelling the whole night. I don't know if you heard that. No, I
didn't.
Got to ride an elephant. You didn't go to that seminar.
Oh, I missed that. The elephant riding seminar. Yeah.
What was your favorite speaker?
Definitely the Chinese guy. Chinese guy. The Chinese guy was really good. Dr.
Chong.
Hong Kong. Dr.
Hong Kong. From Hong Kong.
JerryD .com
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