All language subtitles for Mr. D s04e03 President Jimmy

Yeah, I'm not really sure why we're
doing this, but to me it feels like a

bit of an invasion of my privacy.

David, please read quietly. I have work
to do. Okay? Turn around.

Sir, I have a question. What is act
utilitarianism?

Sir?

Sir? Oh, question? Sorry.

What is act utilitarianism? Oh, act
utilitarianism. Let me think.

Oh, that's the theory which states that
a person's act is morally right if it

creates as much happiness as possible
under the circumcisions.

Circumstances. I say circumcisions.
Under the circumstances.

Okay. Any other questions, let me know.
I might not know all the answers, but

there's a good chance I know a lot of
them. Okay.

Keep reading. Thank you.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my
mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my

life gone by.

I'm awesome. I would like to solve the
puzzle.

Is it a student election this week?

As you know, the Digital Media Club is
documenting the school elections as part

of their class project.

I've given them full access to the
school, and I want to thank you all for

agreeing to be filmed.

Yes, sir. I don't remember agreeing to
do that. Special thank you to Ms. Mason.

Her grade 8 class is studying the
electoral process, and she's agreed to

the class filmed. I'm really excited
about it, sir.

Okay, that's it. Teach hard.

Duncan, can I have a word? Please. For
what?

I would like you to be the teacher
liaison for the student council this

No, that's Lisa's job. Her plate is
full. There's no one else available.

I got my plate full. I'm coaching
basketball.

It's not a big -time commitment.

The student council does most of the
work. All you have to do is be there,

them, answer a few questions.

I think it would be a good fit. The
students connect with you. Can you say

to the camera?

Can you do it? Yes, I will do it for the
students. Good.

The greatest gift of all, children are
our future.

Teach them well.

Have you seen this?

Alomar for Fred. Classic.

Oh, will you just relax, Robert? It's a
harmless joke. Is it?

Well, the joke ends today.

Every year, some anarchist has tried to
get Roberto Alomar elected to student

council. I don't care if he's some
golden -glove -wearing baseball slugger.

They're making a mockery of the
democratic process.

A demockery. The Alomar movement is
bigger than you. It's bigger than all of

Not anymore, it's not.

No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't.
Yes, I do.

Yes, I do.

It's your fault.

Your attention, please.

Roberto Alomar is not running in the
student council election.

Furthermore, any Alomar...

posters, or other paraphernalia will be
confiscated and you will automatically

be given a week's detention.

Thank you. I am Team Alamar all the way.

Now there are three of us.

I'm looking for a book on the history of
the electoral process.

That's not it.

Sorry, would you mind putting the books
on the tubey shelf cart when you're done

with them?

Oh!

I just took it off for a second, though.
I know. It's just that library policy

clearly states that books are to be
reshelved exclusively by a librarian.

I mean, I wouldn't go into your
classroom and just shuffle all your

around, so... Okay, I put it back in the
exact same... Lisa!

Why don't you just follow the process?

I'm Natalie, student council president,
three years and running.

Well, it's going to be three years. I
don't lose.

Enough.

Sir?

Natalie, you can't hang outside the
staff washroom like that, okay?

Okay, sorry, Mr. Duncan.

How would you like it if I hung outside
the girls' washroom all day and waited

for you?

I'll never do that.

I thought we should go over our schedule
for the new school year. I don't need a

schedule to be a role model. I think you
might, sir. There's a lot of meetings

to keep track of.

Why would we have meetings? And
secondly, you haven't even won anything

jump in the gun a little bit?

Just getting a head start since I'm
going to win.

I always do. No one ever runs against
me.

Mr. Callahan said you do whatever you
could to help me.

Bye, sir.

Not doing this.

Monday morning planning sessions.

Fridays after school, weekly wrap -up.
No.

Skype and scones.

It's pronounced scone.

Never wonder what kind of students we
don't like.

Perfect example.

Sir, in case you lose it, I have
another.

So, do you see what I see? Or rather,
don't see, take a look.

No, Alomar. Oh, no, there's Alomar over
there.

Just kidding. There isn't any. You know
why?

Because people respond to a strong
leader, which is what I am. When I lay

the law, people listen.

That's respect.

I don't particularly have anything
against Natalie.

Really? Do I like her?

No. Do I want to teach kids like that?

Which camera? There's two of you now?

Do I want to listen to her throughout
this whole election? I do not.

And if nobody runs against her, she's
going to win by acclimatization.

So, to win by acclimation means to win
without opposition.

Very funny.

Who drew this?

And I'm serious. I want to know who drew
that picture.

Very clever. Who also took all of my
erasers. That's great.

When I find out who drew this picture
and wasted class time, they are in big

trouble.

I just really want to get this done.

Jimmy DeGrazia.

Hi.

What do you think about running for
student council president this year? Why

would I do that?

This is my last year of high school.

If you say so.

I just want to concentrate on graduating
and getting it.

But do you really think you're going to
get into university with the grades you

have? I didn't think about that.

So if you want to get into a real
university, you've got to put something

that application that jumps out, because
your grades don't jump out, and that

thing is student council president.

I guess so, but it's in two days, right?
It's a popularity contest. You've been

here six years, Jimmy.

You're the most popular kid in the
school. This is easy.

Yeah, well... Right?

I don't know. It seems like a lot of
work. That's the good thing.

You don't have to do any work. Once
you're president, you just give

else the work to do for you. Right, like
how you get up to grade our own papers

during class times.

Look, that's what great leaders do. We
delegate.

You think Obama cuts the lawn at the
White House? No, he has somebody do that

for him. He does nothing.

Easiest job in the world.

You can be President Jimmy.

Ha, ha, ha.

President Jimmy.

What's up? Here to stay.

Also, don't forget that the student
council elections are two days away, so

sure you vote.

And in case you haven't heard, our good
friend Jimmy here is now running for the

position of student council president.
So, who's voting for Jimmy?

One person.

I mean, I guess I thought I was popular,
you know. I babysat a lot of them.

Thought that would do it. I don't know.
Can I go?

I have tons of friends. Yeah? Where are
they?

College. College?

Oh, my God. Get out.

Okay.

All right.

You guys get out, too. I've had enough
of this stupid school project.

Can I speak to you for a second, please?

Yes.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Exactly. While I'm putting
posters all over the school?

Oh, yeah, the posters your grade eights
did during class time. Doesn't matter. I

had them done, all right? This election
is tomorrow, and you've done absolutely

nothing. Because you said I don't have
to do anything, so... You said you were

popular, so we both lied. If you want to
get into university, remember what we

said? You want to get in, Jimmy?

Yeah. You got to do something, all
right?

Have you done a speech?

Mm -mm. No speech? No.

I told you you need to do a speech in
front of the whole school.

All right? You have to promise a bunch
of stuff. It doesn't matter what it is.

Just promise a bunch of crap, and they
will buy it.

I've never written a speech before. I
don't know where to start. Fine. I'll

write a speech.

Come here for a second.

Excuse us.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Not now.

I need you to get some dirt on this
Natalie girl. Otherwise, she's going to

my life hell if she wins this thing. I
don't know her. I don't know anything

about her.

She's too geeky. That's what finding
dirt means. You dig. You look around.

ask questions.

I heard she's allergic to peanut butter.

And I could flip some into her locker.

Why don't you just blow her head off,
Jimmy? I said get dirt.

You don't kill her.

Hey, guys.

Hello.

So, how was your day yesterday?

Oh, it was good.

The kids are really excited about the
election.

Erase much?

What? Oh, I was just wondering if you
erased much yesterday.

I'm just wondering if maybe you borrowed
my erasers and forgot to put them

back. Wow.

No need to make a scene.

Okay, Emma, if you have a problem with
me, I would love to sit down and talk it

out.

I don't have a problem.

But I can see that you're really upset.

And you should be. I mean, I would be
really upset if someone came into my

classroom and messed it up.

What some teachers don't understand is
that the library

is my classroom.

These books are my students. And at the
end of the day, it's all about the

children.

Libraries are pretty useless anyways.

Most of us just look it up on the
Internet.

Vote for Jimmy, right? Tell everybody.

Girls, Jimmy.

I heard Jimmy's gaining ground in the
student election. And you know what?

for Jimmy because he's been here a long
time and he's never really had anything

to sort of do.

So it's nice. It's nice for him and...
Oh!

Did you hear that?

Jimmy's gaining ground. So now it is a
two -person race.

Sir. You're the student council liaison.

You shouldn't be taking sides. Who's
taking sides? I'm just happy to see a

fellow student do well.

And I don't want you to win, so let
Dougie think into your head.

So what are you going to do? Oh,
Natalie, don't vote for the sore loser.

I wouldn't. Well, suffice to say, the
Alamar insurgency has been quashed.

They said I couldn't do it.

They said I didn't have it in me.

Some of them even said I was an idiot.

You are an idiot, Robert. Not now.

Let the record show.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

What the... Who are you?

Have you seen Jimmy?

Uh, yeah.

Okay, do you want to tell me where
you've seen him?

Check the back.

Okay. Is that so hard?

Sorry to bother you, grumpy.

Jimmy, can I speak to you in private,
please?

Sure.

It's okay. I gotta be going anyway.
Okay.

A lot more campaigning to do. Yeah, see
ya.

Oh, Natalie!

What are you doing?

Please tell me why you're talking to
her.

I was digging up information. That's
what you told me to do. That's not

up information.

Holding her hand?

Well, the more I found out, the more I
liked her. Oh, my God. You like her? How

is that even possible?

It turns out she's actually pretty cool.
We just clicked. And I would have never

asked her out if it wasn't for you.

So, thank you.

I should have gone with the peanut
butter idea.

Hey, do you guys find Emma a little
strange?

What do you mean?

Well, I'm pretty sure she stole my
eraser.

That.

Don't you find that weird? Check it out.
Emma brought cupcakes again.

She's great, isn't she? Those are
velvet.

Yeah, her secret is love and a whole lot
of art.

Guys, do you not find this strange?

She snuck into my room and stole all my
erasers. Why is this not bothering

anyone? She made cupcakes.

Just get another eraser.

Problem solved.

Those look terrible.

Jimmy, Natalie, what can I do for you
two?

It's okay, Jimmy. I'm here for you. Tell
him. All right.

I'm out.

I just can't run against my girlfriend.

Hoes before bros, right?

The expression is bros before hoes.

Students. Oh, well, it sucks that we're
not bros.

Come on, Jimmy. I told you he wouldn't
understand.

You know you can stop smiling.

Because I can easily talk him into
running again.

Can you?

Because I can talk him out of anything.

I've been class president for two years
in a row for a reason, sir.

My mother says I'm very focused, and if
I want something, I don't stop until I

get it.

And I don't let anything stand in my
way.

You caught all that, didn't you? You
caught that. You need to show that to

Jimmy. I want you to take the camera and
show it to Jimmy.

Hey, guys.

I think Emma went into my classroom
yesterday, and I was just wondering if

might have any footage of that.

Did you not see me standing here doing
something?

Sorry to interrupt.

Yeah. Oh, that's a little late.

Give me the footage.

Stupid permanent marker.

Yes. Of course, I could get another
eraser, but it's not about the eraser,

it?

That woman is nuts.

Someone is running a fake Roberto Alomar
campaign around the school.

So forgive me for thinking I should
maybe start by eliminating the usual

suspects. No offense.

Tons taken. Is this seriously why you
called me into your office?

It's exactly why, Trudy.

You've always been a bit of a wild card.
I'm not going to take my chances with

you. Okay.

I'm going to go because I have actual
work to do.

So long as you know that I am going to
be keeping an eye on you.

You and every other man I meet.

Wow.

Is that a bat in your hand? Oh, it is a
bat. Wow.

Missed. Get out.

Jimmy, stop.

Stop.

Natalie for press. Great.

You don't get it, do you? She wants you
to drop out of the election and vote for

her and let her win so that she wins.

And I'm stuck with her for the year.
That is exactly what she said you'd say.

Oh, my God, you're buying this. She's
too smart. She's too smart and you're

stupid. Oh, my God.

Thanks for nothing.

This book needs to go in the cart.

Reese has really lost it, huh?

Oh, it's way off the cart.

What do you say we go get a couple of
cold ones, okay?

Then maybe we can pick up a couple of
hot ones.

Hey,

how's it going, Robert?

How's it going?

Did you get them all? You tell me.

What the...

Re -elect me as student council
president? The answer is threefold.

One. I still don't know why I'm doing
this. I told you it's a great thing to

have on a resume, and you get to be a
leader, and you get to have people work

underneath you.

And?

And I'll give you an extra week on your
independent study project.

What week?

Week and a half.

Three.

You can't go up the other way.

I got no deal then. Fine. Three weeks.

Just read the speech.

that a vote for Natalie is a vote for
Xavier.

Thank you.

Now we'll hear from our next candidate,
David Alexander.

Hey, oh, hi, David.

Didn't even know he was in the running.

What up, Xavier?

What up?

I could give you a long, boring speech
like the other candidates, but I'm not

going to waste your time.

All you need to know is a vote for me.

Is a vote for Fridays off, free burger
Tuesdays, and casual Wednesdays. No

shirts, no shoes, no problem.

I have a two -part question. One, how
will we complete the standardized

curriculum in a four -day week?

And two, has Mr. Callahan agreed to
Fridays off?

Not exactly, CEO.

Right as it happens again.

Is that all you got?

Didn't work, didn't work.

Mr. Malik!

I think I got the last Alamar poster
this time.

What happened to your fingers?

Never mind.

Have a good evening, Mr. Cheney.

All clear?

You ready?

I'd like to call the meeting to order.
Can I get a second?

Wonderful.

So, Mr. Duncan, Lana needs you to attend
the school fundraising meeting. It's

next Tuesday at 7 a .m. It's not
happening.

Notice.

We also really need to revamp the school
constitution.

Which weekend works for everyone?

Okay, just so we're clear, I'm not doing
any weekend meetings, morning meetings,

after school, nothing.

I'll do 15 minutes during my lunch, once
a week, only if it's necessary, and I

deem it necessary.

What about our weekly fun run? It's 10K.

You guys do a weekly 10K fun run, do
you?

We don't run.

Kilometers? Are you kidding me?

Sorry.

Inside joke with the student council.

JerryD .com