Original subtitles

What are you doing?

Planning.

For school?

Planning my sick day this year.

What do you mean your sick day? How do you know when you're going to be sick?

Let me explain something to you. Teachers don't actually use sick days

they're sick.

Sick days are for sporting events they want to watch, weddings, parties where

they're just drinking all weekend.

Sure, then what do you do when you're actually sick? You go in and teach.

Sick. Show a movie.

If you're hungover, you have a work period.

You don't actually stay home when you're sick. I don't know if that's clear,

but... It's a lot of work.

Part of the job.

For instance, I look up, when's March Madness?

Right. Find the dates.

I put in the Thursday, because the Thursday is the... Remember the day

It's an all -day game. Wednesday, I got to make a note on my calendar.

Start walking around school doing this.

Go to the office. Hey, guys, what's wrong, Jerry? Oh, I don't know. I just

a wicked headache.

Thursday, I'm going to have a migraine.

Why don't you put this kind of effort into teaching children?

Yeah, tomorrow I want to go golfing.

I didn't plan for this. Right. So I got to call him sick now, okay? So I get my

mind in sick mode. So I'm like, so I can start just believing my own story.

Okay, I'm going to call. Just give me one sec, Bill. I'm going to call.

Do not feel well. Yeah.

Hey,

Trudy, it's Jerry. I'm just... I

don't know. I've come down with something. Sorry, Trudy.

I'm not going to be in tomorrow.

My lesson plans are in my desk. Can I come golfing with you?

All right. You can just press one and re -record it. One.

Three.

Message sent. Goodbye.

Now I got to go to work.

Another free day for the future.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's...

Here's my tenants.

What's that?

It's a birthday gift for Lisa. How come you never got me anything on my

birthday? Didn't I?

No. Oh.

Happy birthday, Jerry.

Pencil. Ah, there you are. Can I see you in my office for a second? Sure.

Very funny, Trudy. Why don't you say that's from both of us?

Nope. What's up, sir?

Jerry, I'm in a tight spot.

I need you to take over the varsity boys basketball team for the rest of the

year.

Wow.

Where's Coach Keenan? He's in the hospital. He could be gone for the year.

no.

Look, it means you're going to have to give up the junior girls volleyball. You

okay with that?

Am I okay with that, sir? Are you kidding?

This is the year they start menstruating.

When girls are on a team together, their cycles line up, and it is a nightmare,

trust me. So, yes, I'm okay giving that up. Look, you don't have to do much.

Team hasn't lost in two years. I did a couple close ones, though, sir. Let's be

honest. I can fix that.

Wow, this is a lot to take in, sir. How sick is he? Is he going to be back next

year? No idea.

Fingers crossed.

What? Like for fingers, like a... I won't let you down.

Thank you. Don't let the kids down. I won't let them down either.

Thanks, sir.

Beautiful day. Yeah.

You know when my students just drop this apple off on my desk? Well, that's

sweet.

Lots of love in the world.

Um, speaking of love, well, like... Are you okay?

Oh, my God.

Oh, I think I shit my tooth.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I see that.

That's a huge piece of your tooth.

Yes, that's why we have so many, right? That's one way of looking at it.

Looks like I'll just be eating on this side for a while, huh? You could just

eat it and have a sandwich. Got to go enlighten the youth.

Okay.

Good chat.

All right, new season, new coach. As you know, Mr. Keenan's not going to be with

us this year, unfortunately, but we'll continue on with the same success that

you've had in the past.

Wow.

What's your name?

Eddie, sir.

You cannot teach height.

And unfortunately for the rest of you... Hey, coach, can I have a minute with

you and the team?

Uh, kind of in the middle of something, okay.

That's our new guidance counselor.

How are you? I'm here to offer my services as the assistant to the coach.

Oh, no, that's okay, Frank. Thank you. I'm quite capable of handling this

myself. And, hey, you just started. It's your first year here. Get settled. You

don't even know your workload yet. Please, those kids can guidance counsel

themselves.

Well, you know what? This is something, it's a little bit of a process. We've

got to go through Callahan and... I already spoke with him. He thinks it's a

great idea.

And you're all ready. Okay. Why not?

Mr... I don't know your last name. Frank.

Did you just call me Frank? Kids call you Frank? Yeah. They call you by your

first name? It connects us.

Okay. This is Coach Frank, also your guidance counselor, and he will be

So give me two lines. We'll start with a typical layoff drill. Okay. All right.

This is so exciting.

Yeah. When's the first game?

Tomorrow, actually.

Can't do tomorrow.

Big date.

Hold up.

Safety first.

Oh, okay.

As you were.

Are you kidding me?

This is so nice, everyone.

It's your birthday, so I got you a present. Oh, Trudy.

You shouldn't have.

Honestly, it's nothing.

Oh, my God.

It's gorgeous.

I got up early and got you this cake.

Trudy, you know me so well.

Thank you so much. Called half an hour before.

ingrained it so thank you for remembering you're welcome okay all

right thank you give me the extra one with a layer of pudding it's real pearls

oh that's a little dry something wrong with the cake nope

happy birthday hey bobby happy birthday

hey how's your first practice ah it was good Except they got this really tall

kid, Eddie, who's absolutely awful. The giant? Yeah.

Well, his wife expected him to be lit, that's for sure. Okay. Other than

Anyway, he's terrible. Why did Keenan keep him on the team? I don't get it. I

think he likes his enthusiasm.

Kids got pep. Yeah, lots of kids have enthusiasm. You don't keep them on a

varsity basketball team.

Well, sure you do. I mean, I made all my teams because I had enthusiasm.

You... What teams did you play on, Simon? Musical.

Musical. It's not a team.

Okay, Jerry, do you know how many people it takes to put on a musical?

Cast plus crew plus director equals team.

Simon, those are people that are cut from real teams.

Okay? I think I've got to cut this kid.

That team hasn't lost a game in two years, Jerry. You're going to mess with

chemistry? He's never going to play.

What a waste of size.

He's just going to sit there on the bench.

In the chorus, with his feet on the ground.

Reaching for the dive.

What happened to your car?

Kids must have been having a bad day.

Xavier students did this?

This?

No, inner city students. I volunteered at their school.

How do you know it was one of them?

They threatened they'd do it weeks ago.

Well, you need to call the police. Nah.

Those kids don't have the same opportunity as ours.

Paul, this is a serious crime.

No, it's a serious crime.

Kids growing up with no love.

So you're just going to drive the car home with a windshield like this? Hey,

not?

It's a beautiful day.

He is so bad, ASF.

Mr. Duncan, may I speak with you for just a minute?

Yeah, hi.

My name is Ivan Yurkov. My son, Eddie, plays on your basketball team.

Oh, yay!

tall kid.

That's my enemy.

Well, I just want to say hello.

Hello. And to tell you how much I appreciate what you do, a small sign of

appreciation, if you don't mind.

You like steak?

Yeah. Rib boning the best. A friend of mine owns steaks.

For me? Yes. You're giving me these steaks? Well, thank you. You know what?

Maybe you play Eddie.

I'm sorry, what? You know, play Eddie.

Yeah, he may play sometime. We have a really strong team. It's hard to get him

in. You know, the last coach I know liked him. No, play Eddie. Well, now

out of pitchers, so I come to you.

Puzzles. Yeah.

I never see my boy play.

Never seen him play. Well, I always try to get everybody in. No promises, but...

Oh, I almost forgot. My wife, she appreciate your coaching, too. Oh, thank

Oh, you like Merlot?

Yeah. You look like Merlot, man.

Wow. You did not have to do this. I appreciate it. Very kind of you. Very

of you. Thank you. Anytime.

Okay. You play Eddie. We'll see. No promises. But thank you. That was really

nice. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Bye

-bye. Bye -bye.

Wow.

Okay. You got ready.

Look at that.

I can't believe this.

Me neither.

He just gave you these? Yeah.

Any chance he gave you potatoes or salads?

Better. All right.

Apparently this is a very expensive bottle of wine.

Oh, yeah. This is good stuff.

Yeah.

I don't think we need that for these. I think you're right. These are barrel

steaks. These are glorious steaks. What do you want in return for these?

Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. Everybody wants something. I'm telling you, I

he just...

Wanted to say thanks for doing a great job with my kid.

I don't think you're this good.

Just shut up and eat this thing. Oh.

Gives it a little bit of flavor.

A little soda pop.

Spreads it out, spreads it out.

You want some? No.

Dig in.

All right.

Get to class.

Oh, my.

What did happen?

Yeah. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, and last night I guess I stuck around a

little too long.

But you should see what they look like.

Really?

Nah, just kidding.

Obviously, I waited until they stopped.

Very wise.

But there was one kid who twisted his ankle kicking me.

Poor kid. I tried to help him take him to the hospital, but he smashed my face

in it.

Very bad.

Anyway, that's his journey.

This is mine.

Anthony, get to class.

Oh, hey. You were looking for me?

Mr. Duncan, so sorry to bother you.

Big game tonight.

Yeah, big game. First game.

How do you like those sticks?

Oh, they were great. My roommate and I, we had a field day on those. Thank you

again. My pleasure. Today I brought you wheel sandwich for good luck.

Thank you. You don't need to keep doing this.

Best wheel in the city. Three days old. Ripped from mother. Very tender.

Hey. Play Eddie tonight.

I can't promise I'm going to play Eddie. I don't think it's going to happen.

It's our first game.

He's just not ready.

Oh, this is my brother, Eddie's favorite uncle, Vlad.

Hello, Vlad.

He's shy. Is he? He don't speak English so good.

Hello.

Anyway, enjoy sandwich.

And who knows, maybe you play Eddie. You know what?

No, I can't.

Too big a game.

You're funny. All right, thank you. See you, Vlad. Bye -bye.

Good guy.

Hey, you're not taking this from Mr. Yerkoff, are you? No, it's a sandwich.

Okay, well, you stupid.

Huh? Did he ask you to play Eddie? Yeah, but so what? Parents do that.

Okay. It's a bribe, okay, Jerry? What are you saying, Bobby? I don't mean to

freak you out, but the kids, they all say he's mobbed.

Mobbed? It's a veal sandwich, not a hooker with blows strapped across their

chest. What?

Relax. Okay.

Drive around with meat in their trunk.

Russians, I guess.

Russians, Jerry?

Or the mob?

Just looking out for you, Jerry.

Hey,

Simon.

Hey, Frank. How's it going? Great.

Love my new job, love my students.

Slept with an Asian chick last night. Really? Yeah. Gonna cross that off my

bucket list.

Cool. Next, tall.

Hang on.

Hey, Lisa.

Hey. How tall are you?

5 '9". She wants it. Boy, you got game.

Feeling okay, bud?

There's problems with my wife, but I guess I gotta get used to seeing ex

What a world. I'm sorry to hear about that, Pa. She said I spend too much time

with charity work and not enough time on her.

Fair point.

And you have had one heck of a week. Like my dad always said, man, there's

always somebody out there worse off than you.

See ya.

I like him.

I think it's the metal on his arms. He reminds me of a robot.

Miss Mason, can I see that bracelet?

Yes.

Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah, it's mine.

I lost it a few weeks ago.

Excuse me? I got it from my grandmother for my birthday.

No, Ms. Walsh gave this to me for my birthday.

Pretty sure you're mistaken. I'm certain you're mistaken, Donna, okay?

No, that's definitely my bracelet.

Let this be the motivation for you to do well in school so you can land a good

job and afford nice things like this. Maybe not as nice, but they'll be nice,

okay? Thanks for the valedictorian speech, but it's my bracelet.

Okay.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we meet after school and I'll prove it to you?

Don't lose it in the meantime.

I won't.

Lose my bracelet in the meantime.

This is it.

This is the first game of a new year, new coach. I know you've done well with

Coach Keenan, but my job is to take you to another level.

All right? This is the beginning of the Mr.

D era.

And it starts today, game one. Let's not take this team lightly. I know you beat

them badly last year, but don't get complacent. We know our starting five.

Demar, Kyle, Terrence, Anthony,

Jonas. Today we want to make sure...

Make sure we what, coach?

What? You know what? Look at that team. Look at them. Starting five.

Kyle, Terrence, Anthony, Jonas, and Eddie. Sorry, a little change.

Changed my mind.

Are you sure, coach?

Yeah, are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Coach, you said not to take this team lightly.

Not taking them lightly, Terrence. I want to make sure we have height.

Six, seven.

I'm going to get the ball for us. Start the game. You ever think of that? First

possession? Trust me. I know how to coach.

Okay? We get the ball first.

Starts from there. Now bring it in on three. Together.

One, two, three. Together. Let's go.

Seriously, Coach?

Eddie? Eddie.

Sit down.

Hey, game one.

Here we go, buddy.

Let's get that ball, Eddie. Start the game off. Get the jump ball.

Oh, my God. He's supposed to jump.

Come on,

Eddie. Eddie, don't. Get up. Get up.

Don't touch the ball, Eddie.

Let's give it to Terrence.

Don't shoot, Eddie.

Oh, he's that tall, that bad.

One hand to dribble, Eddie.

One. Does he not know the rules?

He'll get in when Eddie's tired or when Dad leaves.

Trudy.

Go ahead, Donna.

Miss Mason won't give me back my bracelet.

Trudy, could you please explain to Donna that you gave me this bracelet for my

birthday?

Let me see it.

There you go.

I knew it.

Liar.

Trudy, what are you doing?

Here.

Pick something else. You stole that from the lost and found box?

Look. Here's a lovely scarf.

Trudy, these are the students' belongings.

I mean, Donna's grandmother gave her that.

Is that... Yes, it is.

Unclaimed for over a month.

Thank you. This time, don't wear it around the school, you idiot.

Ah, you're welcome.

Mr. Duncan, why you do this to me?

What? We won.

I started, Eddie. I didn't keep in the whole game, but... You call yourself

coach? I give you steak, I give you wine, I give you real.

And this is how you treat my family.

Okay, okay. I'll start him again next week, and I'll play him the whole game.

The whole game? Are you hearing this?

What? This boy should never step on basketball court again. He's terrible.

But you said... I didn't know he was this bad, but you, your coach, you

know. He's garbage.

But, Pop... Oh, not shot. Shut up!

You humiliate me. You humiliate my brothers. You humiliate my entire

You leave me. No option.

That's close to me.

No more steak.

No more wine. No more wheel.

That's it? No more wheel?

Eat hamburger.

Where do I get the steak?

Up your ass.

Up my ass.

Up my ass.

Lisa!

Lisa, wait up!

Hey.

Hey, Frank.

I, uh, wanted to apologize about earlier.

I get really nervous around pretty ladies.

Oh. Hey, thanks, Frank.

And, um, maybe I could take you for a belated birthday drink sometime.

Yeah, maybe.

Have a good night. You too.

Crossing another one off my list tonight.

Triplets. I don't think that those are... I'm a teacher, Lisa.

I can't afford real triplets.

Which one of you is Sarah? I can't tell you apart.

Wow.

The sandwich is delicious.

This is what I needed.

My nephew's in your band class.

Nadia, beautiful girl.

Oh, my gosh, she loves playing that trombone. She's good.

So I have a good idea.

You make her first trombone.

Oh, we already have a first trombone, though.

Ah, I see.

Hey.

You like Merlot?

Wow. This week's finally looking up.

Play Nadia.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Had it all. I had it.

Oh, boy.

JerryD .com