Original subtitles

All right, if you were my... Yes, Maya?

May I go to the bathroom?

I don't know, Maya. May you?

Sir, that only works if she says, can I go to the bathroom?

I don't know, Ben. Can you?

Ha!

Yes, Maya, you may go to the bathroom.

Guys, you're seniors. You don't need to ask to go to the bathroom anymore. If

you have to go, just quietly leave.

Just go, all right? I trust you.

All right, so recapping. We have a review tomorrow. Make sure you're here

that. I don't want to go through everything twice.

The test is still next Thursday, and chapters on the test, chapters are one,

two, and four.

That backfired, didn't it?

Where are you going?

After you come up. That rule doesn't apply to you. You only go to the

when I kick you out. Well, kick me out.

Not today. Are we ever gonna get our last test back?

It's not gonna work, Jimmy. You're staying.

That's a very pretty shirt you got on.

Sit down.

Still single?

Yeah, that's the one.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my

life gone by.

These muffins are... What's going on here?

Yep. I've been thinking the exact same thing.

Why is there a student in the staff room? It's been coming in every day this

week. They can't come in here. This is ridiculous.

Especially ones we don't like.

Can we?

This is our sacred area. This is where we talk about the kids. They can't see

what we're really like. Wayne shouldn't even be in here, let alone this kid.

Everyone!

We are falling well short of our goals for this year's food drive. There's only

one week left. I need everyone to energize their homeroom classes to

their efforts for this final week.

Might have been a good idea to let us know about this food drive.

Oh.

How did that go up? To up the ante, I am donating my seats for next week's ball

game to the teacher whose class brings in the most food items.

Do we have to go with you?

To the game if we win?

No,

Mr. Duncan, you do not.

However, if I were you, I'd be more concerned with the fact that the teacher

brings in the least food items gets three Saturday detention supervisions.

Okay, and while you're telling all of us that, why are you looking directly at

me? Last time I looked, your class had failed to bring in a single item. Yeah,

but... Save that energy for the next three Saturdays, Duncan.

Philip, where's Sheila?

I don't know. Oh, you don't?

Well, let's not waste our time. Lori, might as well practice while we're

for Sheila. Go ahead.

Be the resolution that... Lori, be it resolved that we've been over this and

over this, okay?

Ah, there she is.

Sheila's here, everybody.

Let's hear it for our star debater.

Whew.

Got some debating done around here.

I'm sorry I'm late. I had field hockey practice.

You had what now? Field hockey practice.

Well, this is the only practice that matters, Sheila.

So let's not let that happen again.

Okay? But you're here now. So, let us begin. Who knows what the three rules of

debate are?

Sheila.

Keep your cool, stick to the facts, and never ever personally attack your

opponent. That's correct.

So, oddly enough, these three rules are the only things in here that are not

debatable.

Ken.

Look.

Ken. I already gave it to my homeroom, sir.

Oh, you think donating one to your homeroom is enough to end world hunger?

sir. Good, because you're right, it won't. When you bring me a can, you can

the book.

And hey, just remember a lot of people are going to die because of what you

Jerry. Wayne.

Heard about this little bribery scheme. I like it. Well, the end would justify

the means.

You would steal a sticky bun to feed your family.

Yeah. What if I steal this?

I'd be impressed. You pulled off the impossible.

Well, why are you even doing this food drive? It's for teachers.

It's for the starving.

Can you please tell Gail what he said in the staff room? Why don't you tell him?

He's a grown man, unlike some people I know.

Why don't you tell him? You're a grown man. We are not talking right now.

Bobby, Sheila was late for debate practice.

She's our star debater. We rely on her quite heavily.

I just wanted you to know that.

Okay, well, she's an important member of the field hockey team. She's our star

player, so you need to know that. Bobby? Yeah?

She was a half hour late.

She left half an hour early.

Don't make me pull rank on you.

So don't. I don't want to. Great.

What is that? That's me pulling rank.

You're cute.

Thank you.

Be that as it may, let's finish talking about this first.

I'm amazed that none of you have brought in any food items for the food drive.

We have one week left. Need I remind you?

We get a pizza party. A pizza party for the whole class if we bring in the most

items. I have pizza for lunch.

Surprise.

Also, if we bring in the most items, Mr. Callahan is giving the teacher two

tickets to the ballgame, which I would get.

That still does nothing for us. All right, I will bring the student in the

to the game who brings in the most items, unless it's Jimmy or Maya. I'm

listening to that.

Because you will ask a million questions during the game. You'll ask about, when

are we getting our test back?

Like, I'm watching the game, Maya.

But anyone else?

Except Lana. I can't bring Lana. We'd look like a couple, and that is weird.

If I was younger, that's who I would bring.

Why not?

This food is for Africa. Why do I need to sell you on that? Why can that not

just come from within? We are helping the people of Africa.

This food isn't for people in Africa.

It's for the homeless shelter downtown.

Who ship it to Africa, Maya.

To cure AIDS.

To cure HIV.

Do you not want to cure AIDS?

Yes, but I... Then bring in some cream corn.

Simple.

God, help me out here, Leonard.

Jump in any time.

This is for you.

Stand up, please. Stand up, Leonard. Everyone take a look at Leonard right

Take a look at him.

Does he look full?

No. He does not.

Does he have AIDS?

Maybe. I don't know. Can't see it.

Let's assume he does.

Get it?

Do you get it now?

Thank you, Leonard.

Still not enough.

Still not enough.

All right, here's what I'll do. I will add a percentage mark to your final

for every 20 cans you bring in so I can go to the game.

And Leonard can live.

And Leonard, you don't have to bring in food. That makes no sense if you bring

in your own food.

You keep it. You keep it.

All right?

Back to one.

38.

38, Joanne. You get a bonus mark. Nice work.

Two more items, you will get another mark.

Okay, but good job. Thanks, Joanne.

This is good, people. We are getting more.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yeah. What?

Yeah, that's like 500 items.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. 500 items from one person. I bet you we are in the lead, everybody.

Good work, Jimmy.

So that is a 25 % bonus. That is two tickets to the ballgame, too. What?

Jimmy! 25 %?

That's ridiculous.

That's almost as high as my average.

She's got a point. That sucks. That's a lot.

Fifteen. How about I give you 15 % and we call it even?

No. No.

I can't give you 25%. That's ridiculous.

I'd work my butt off for those.

How about I take you to the ballgame and we call it even?

No.

This is crazy.

Maya, everyone wins. Can we just drop it? Jimmy wins, I win, Africa wins.

Well, I wonder what Mr. Callahan will think of this.

See what she's going to do. What?

Who's that?

Stalin. See what I did there?

See how I taught you by making you go through something?

Dictatorship. I wanted to show you what Hitler and Stalin would have done. It

was a lesson. There's no marks for anyone. It was a lesson so you could

experience what a real dictatorship was like. False promises give, taketh away.

That's what I did. That's how a teacher teaches.

That was how I taught.

Sorry. So I don't get the bonus marks for the food?

I believe the correct German term for that is net.

Sir, that's Russian.

Uh, pretty sure that's German, Maya. So, mission sensitive.

Lesson learned.

Hi, Ms. Walsh. I couldn't find Ms. Galka to give her my permission slip for

tonight's game.

Well, that's fine, Sheila. I'll take care of that.

Thanks. Actually, that won't be necessary.

I'm sorry? I talked it over with Miss Galka. We both agreed that you should

field hockey in favor of the debate practice.

Okay, but... Miss Galka concurred that athletics, though important, take second

place to mental gymnastics.

She concurred that, did she?

Don't you have anything else to do?

Yep, I do.

So I'll see you at debate practice.

Okay, sir.

Great. And I'll see you after you finish doing that thing that you said you had

to do that wasn't hurting my feelings.

No, no.

That's not good. You can't be in the staff room, Gary.

Out. It's pronounced Gowie. Yeah, but Gary is your name, right? It actually is

Gowie. His name is Gowie?

Yeah, it's Gowie. G -A -W -E -E.

His grandparents couldn't pronounce Gary, so they just officially made it

That's not a name.

Show me your ID. Let me see your ID.

No way that's your name.

Hi. Gowie slash Gary.

Can't stay here. Out.

But my dad. But my dad? Your dad is not a teacher here. He's a librarian.

Doesn't count. Out.

Nice one, Joey.

What?

What?

I thought you said Joey.

I don't think so.

Sheila, that was hard say, as we say in French. Let's try it again.

Miss Galka, what brings you by?

I'm here to get Sheila. We have a game tonight.

Oh, no, you haven't. You and I talked about this, remember? I pulled rank. You

said I was cute.

Got it. Sheila, time to go.

Sheila is not going anywhere. She's our star debater.

But, sir. Sheila, please, stay out of this.

Sir. Sheila, no arguing. This is a debate club.

Okay, Robert, we have a tournament, okay? That supersedes your practice.

Really? Because we have a big debate next week, and if we don't practice,

not going to win.

Why don't you guys debate it, then? We're not going to debate it, Lori.

Oh, Lori.

What a marvelous idea. Why don't we debate it? I'm not going to debate this

you, Robert. Why? Because you're scared?

Because you're scared?

No, I'm not scared.

Aren't you? Because you kind of look it.

Really? Because you look it. This is juvenile, Lori.

Is it?

Is it? Yeah. Okay, enough. Okay, fine. Fine. Let's debate this.

Fine. Looks like we have a master debate on our hands.

That is how you win a debate. Phillip, collect my tools.

This is ridiculous. I have six kids in my homeroom class. I can't compete with

classes of over 20.

Thank God for Jerry.

It's the little.

Hey, guys.

Excuse me while I just do a quick update here on the standing.

What are you doing?

You can't just color it in, Jerry.

Yeah, I can. They'll update it soon, but my students just brought in over 600

cans, so I just thought I'd... You must have done something.

Yeah, what did you do?

Motivated my students for a good cause. That's what I did.

You two should try it. And you, last place, enjoy your three Saturday

detentions. But this is... Ah!

You know what that is? The smell of success.

He must have done something.

He wasn't really doing anything on those Saturdays anyway.

Be it resolved that a debate practice is more important than a field hockey

game.

I will let my opponent begin.

Okay.

Be it resolved that... Sheila, this is a chance at a full scholarship at the

school of your choice.

Plus, the tournament's in Montreal, so... Right?

Come on.

Okay. May I rebut? Okay. Be it resolved that the debate team will not only

continue to stimulate your mind, but also ensure your mental freshness well

your golden years.

Nice.

We're going to Montreal.

Okay. Great.

But through debate, you can, in theory, travel anywhere you want all over the

globe simply by using your imagination and a few key words.

Wow. Okay, because you are actually going to Montreal, like, next week.

And why would she want to go to Montreal, Ms. Galka, to get wasted?

I didn't say that. Didn't you? Because that's what I heard.

Mr. Cheely. You probably like Montreal with all its drip clubs.

Mr. Cheely. Well, Ms.

Galka. Sheila, where are you going?

Ms. Galka presented the better argument.

No, she didn't. Yeah, I did.

Beer resolved it. No, she didn't. Yeah. No, she did not.

I wasn't even finished.

We don't even need you on this team.

We have a deep bench.

By the way, don't worry. I've been to Montreal.

It's not that great.

It's pretty great.

All right.

What happened to all our food?

We took it to the food shelter during lunch. Why would you do that? You know,

thought we'd show some initiative.

Get the cans to Africa faster.

But nobody counted the items. They don't even know we have them yet. How are we

supposed to win?

Everyone wins, sir.

Except you.

Jimmy, get out.

Okay.

Sorry, sir.

Did we ruin your next three Saturdays? Ben, you ruined all my Saturdays because

I know I got to see you in two days.

How funny of you.

It's your fault.

Hey, there.

Can I help you?

Yeah, this is a weird one.

I'm a teacher down at Xavier Academy, and I had a bunch of students bring down

some food.

Uh, yeah.

Kids were in yesterday.

Brought in a lot of great stuff, and we're very thankful.

Yeah, no, we're happy to help. The problem is, I need to get that food

and that hasn't happened, so... Well, I can tell you exactly how many items they

brought in.

No, you see, we have a contest, and the school needs to physically see the proof

of the items that I got.

Oh, well, I'm afraid the items are already in the system, so I can't help

there. What system?

That's our food right there.

because i brought in the frozen pizza so let me just take this this is all ours

you can have this we can't use it the items must be non -perishable all right

you think the people in africa are worried if the food's a little parrot

pardon me i'm just saying can't be that picky and worried about expiration dates

on this stuff you know i think our time is done here sir look let me just take

the food and i'll bring it back tomorrow what's the day gonna do goodbye why

don't you try eating some of the food gain a little weight Start with the

I wanted to apologize.

Okay. I shouldn't have pulled rank earlier.

Although, technically, I am your superior. Just a reminder, I still

have said those things that I said.

Great. Thank you, Robert.

So can I go now?

No. Okay.

If it was a real debate, I would have won.

No, you wouldn't have.

Yes, I would. No, you would not have. Yes, I would have.

Are we done here?

No. We also need to talk about the fact that you told me I was cute. No, I would

never. I didn't. Super flattered.

Not to... But I'm your superior.

It's the workplace. It's not appropriate.

I'm just gonna go, okay?

Okay. That's what you need to do. You should do that.

Oh, boy.

Congratulations, everyone. Our food drive was a huge success.

Thanks to all of you. Well, almost all of you. Duncan, we'll see you at

detention on Saturday morning. Mr. Dwyer, you win the tickets.

I'm going to donate these tickets back to the school for incentive.

for another fundraiser. Let's raise some money. Let's raise some money. That is

so incredibly awesome. And in that spirit of generosity, I'll tell you what

going to do.

I'm going to take you to the game the next week.

You could do that. Or we could donate those tickets back once again for

fundraiser so we could raise some money.

This teacher is awesome.

That is the spirit of Xavier. All right, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I don't know how I could top that, but I can do another game.

Let me see. All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll take it to a game the next week.

You could if you want to, but I'm going to take those tickets back once again

for another fundraiser. Raise the what? Raise the what? Raise the money!

Okay,

please, sir, sir.

There's 80 games. We get what you're going to do. We get it.

Saturday morning, 10 o 'clock. Don't be late.

I could watch those two back and forth all night.

Yeah, where are the muffins that were here?

There's no more muffins.

Gowie used to make them. You kicked them out.

Gowie made those muffins?

Yeah. Then why'd you let me kick him out? I don't like him.

Those muffins were my world.

I take for my wife. I take for my kids. You ruin all muffin party.

Figures it's you two in here.

First of all, put your phones away.

You don't get to use those.

Why are you here, Jimmy? I was caught taking cans from other classes.

Yeah, and you caught me going to a game.

And I heard you tried to take the food back.

Just stop talking. Guess you're stuck with me for three Saturdays.

No, I'm not. Get out.

Really? Yeah, get out.

Bye. Ha!

Bye.

The end of that conversation.

I guess so.

Sir, you do realize you just kicked him out of detention?

Yeah. Because it's Saturday and I do what I want with my Saturdays. So if I

to kick someone out, I can kick them out. Actually, he gets to do what he

with his Saturday.

And you have to sit there.

No, I don't.

No, I don't.

Because I can use my phone. I can make calls. I can watch a movie.

This two hours is going to fly by for me. But for you, it's going to sit

Stare into space.

So start staring.

Do you have a charger on you at all?

Nope.