Original subtitles

Big game tonight, Jerry. New York's going to show Boston how it's really

Celtics are going to kill them.

Want to make it interesting?

All right, 100 bucks?

No, let's do an old school bet. The loser is the winner's servant for a

week. So you get my coffee, you get my dry cleaning, anything goes.

All right, deal.

But don't think I'm going to take it easy on you when I win.

I'm going to own you.

Okay, Jerry. That's Master Jerry to you.

Knicks fans.

When will you people learn?

Well, that's coming along great.

Nice work, guys.

Celtics are on the road.

You idiot.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Hey, sorry for interrupting, everyone.

Jared, do you have my calculator?

Nice try. I gave it to you last week.

That calculator was my graduation present. I want that back now.

Look at that.

You owe me money because I had to put a new battery in it. What? No, I'm not

paying you for a new battery. What are you talking about? I'm taking the

battery. Give me that.

Give me that.

Get your hands off of Janine. I should never have let you borrow her.

You're...

Bye, Mr. Hunt.

What was going on there?

Nothing. She has a crush on Mr. Hunt. So do you.

What?

Really? Mr. Hunt?

I was in high school once, too, so I get when you have crushes on teachers.

Not what I would have...

Expected, but everybody has a different crush. A little inappropriate when a

teacher walks in to do all that.

Because others may have crushes, too. Who cares? Some of you may have a crush

on... Mr. Chang.

Mr. Chang.

Birds of a feather, right?

Mr.

Dwyer. Mr... Jane,

your parents have already chosen a husband for you.

You have no say.

So you having a crush on another man is inappropriate.

Your husband has been chosen. He is out there. You have not met him. He may be

gorgeous. He may be sinfully ugly. And when you meet him, you will love him.

A lot of girls think Mr. Fellows is cute. Mr. Fellows with the... with the

clips? I hear people talking about Mr. Bondi a lot. What? Mr.

Bondi?

All right. Who else?

Go ahead.

Give it.

I know what's coming here, girls.

I get it.

Last call for crushes on teachers, whether they are in the room or not.

All right.

Back to work.

Ms. Galka's pretty. Who? Ms. Galka.

Is what?

Pretty, pretty.

Pretty, pretty.

Okay.

I just don't understand why this can't wait. There's been a kidnapping.

What?

Oh. The happy -go -lucky Wayne Leung that existed before this was defaced has

been taken.

And I suggest expulsion.

Oh, really? Of whom?

All of them. Wayne, come on.

It's a joke.

I think you're taking the whole thing just a little bit too hard.

I think you'll change your mind when you see your picture.

Why am I a rabbit? Because you're soft.

I think I know exactly who's responsible for this.

That's more like it.

Okay, and the centerpiece for Xavier's exciting new recycling program is this

six -bin system. So, thanks, Alex. Thank you. Let's save the planet, right,

guys?

When do we start doing this?

It's the new recycling program, Jerry.

All right, where does this go? Okay, great. This is a great teaching

opportunity. So this gets separated. The lid goes into plastic, the sleeve and

the cup goes into paper, and then the teabag goes into compost. Easy. Oh,

Yeah, that's all.

You are crazy if you think I'm doing that every time I have garbage.

Okay, it is not a lot to ask so that my kids can inherit a healthy planet, okay?

Your kids? Mm -hmm. Oh, you must have got artificially inseminated because you

don't have a boyfriend anymore.

Craig's gone.

Shut it.

So stop putting the cart before the horse.

Put that away. I... Oh, my God. Hey, Simon.

Hey. I don't know if you know this. A couple girls in my class have a little

crush on you.

Oh, jeez whiz. Okay. I remember the first time that happened to me. It's

I wish this was the first time. It's getting really out of hand, Jerry.

Really out of hand.

Oh, you know, just the notes.

The compliments.

Little screams when I'm walking down the hallway.

Little yelps and screams.

I had to pull a girl aside the other day. I had to sit her down and tell her,

you know, your crush, while understandable, not acceptable. No. Not

No. I mean, what do these girls think, you know? They think they're going to

date me?

Not one of them reminds me of my mother. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yes, I'm probably going to, yeah.

Hey, Simon, you're still doing the teacher fashion show, right?

Yeah, girl.

Wouldn't miss that.

Great.

Jerry, do you want to strut your stuff in a fashion show or what?

Uh, let me think. No. That may be the lamest thing I've ever heard, so...

I'm not desperate for attention like others.

No offense.

I'm a lot taken.

Thanks, Jerry.

David Alexander.

Check his hands. What's going on, sir?

How are they?

Silky smooth.

That's not what I was after. Is there any marker on them?

No. They're clean.

Okay. You know what? It doesn't matter. We know you did this.

So why don't you make this easy on us and just come clean?

I didn't do this, sir.

Dammit.

Easy.

Cartoons? Give me some credit. That's baby stuff.

Is it?

Do you happen to know the baby that did this, then, if it wasn't you? Maybe, but

I would never rat out my fellow student.

Oh, you wouldn't.

Not even for one get -out -of -detention -free card?

Yeah.

And I have nothing of value to give you?

All right.

You got a deal.

Hey, sir. Hey.

I like your shirt.

What was that?

I like your shirt. It looks nice on you.

Okay. Can I speak to you for a second, please?

Yeah.

What's up, sir?

Okay.

What you said back there, first of all, understand I'm not angry.

But there are boundaries.

Not angry about what?

Okay.

had crushes on teachers before i get it i don't have a crush okay you stick to

that and we're fine is this because i said i liked your shirt you kind of

implied that you liked what was in the shirt why would i have a crush on you

okay no need to lash out and get angry here i'm sorry sir but i don't have a

crush on you you're not that cool i know not that young right like mr hunt Like

Mr. Dwyer. Sorry, we are the same age.

Okay, just cool then. You're just not cool. Cool.

I mean, I'm sure you used to be cool when you were younger, I guess. Yeah,

you, Laurie. Can I go? Yeah, you can go. Go, go, go.

Why don't you get to class, girl?

Instead of hanging out in the halls, hitting on teachers.

So students don't have crushes on you. What's the big deal? I didn't say it was

a big deal.

But it's a little bit flattering when you hear they do, and it's a sign of

respect and that they look at you like a role model. Yeah, I don't know. I had a

crush on Ms. Gleason and it wasn't for any of those reasons.

Maybe you're just not as, you know, cool and young as you think you are. No,

that is not it, Bill. I think I'm actually too hard on them, and they look

me... Yeah, it's probably... Amanda, come here for a second. No, no, don't.

Amanda, this is my buddy Jerry, the teacher, and Amanda just finished high

school. So let me ask you, do you think you would have had a crush on him?

No. Right.

But I've got an aunt who'd probably like you. Oh, yeah. Well, I have an ugly

friend that might like you, so... Why do you want students to have crushes on

you anyway?

Pretty creepy.

You're creepy.

Okay, first of all, she's the same age as us, so you don't have crushes on

people at our age.

We're not the same age. Oh, give me a break.

Um, Bill, can I see you later tonight?

All right.

See,

that's a crush.

Yeah, if you like cougars.

Look, I know it might take a little bit more effort, but... A little bit? This

is a bigger waste of time than most of my relationships.

What happens if we put something in the wrong bin? I think we all die.

Oh, come on, guys.

God forbid you should put a milk carton in the plastics bin.

That is enough.

Boobie do good things and you cry.

Poor Trudy.

Boobie make a safe planet while Malik home country fight hurricane.

And the animal's flying.

Didn't realize he was such a little firecracker.

Wouldn't mind having a little slice of that life of pie.

Not cool.

Not cool, Trudy.

Look, this kid is a monster, okay? One tough nut to crack. So here's the

strategy. I'll be the good cop. I'll be the cop that's an alcoholic.

His wife just left him. He's two days away from retirement. He doesn't have

for this. He lives on the beach in a trailer with his dog, Rusty.

That's good.

Makes my guy seem so boring all of a sudden. Don't worry. You chose good cop.

know, but just because he's a good cop doesn't mean maybe he's not going

a bad time or something. What do you want?

Prone to outbursts?

Fine. Unorthodox method? No.

No. Do you think a cop that lives down by the beach with his dog is going to

play by the rules? He's tough.

This is not going to be easy.

Nothing worth having ever.

Tubbs. So, Alex, before we begin, anything you'd like to confess? Maybe

something you did wrong? I didn't do anything wrong.

Hey, we'll be the judge of that.

You're scaring me. Good, because day's about to turn into night, young friend.

Alex, we'd just like to ask you a couple of questions about a couple of staff

pictures. Why? What happened to them? Oh, come on, Alex!

Oh, bud.

We know you did it. Be honest. It's the right thing to do.

I haven't even seen the pictures.

Hey! You kiss your mother with that filthy lion mouth?

I swear I didn't do anything.

Oh, dear.

It's not your fault.

Breathe, breathe.

Just calm down. Calm, relax. Take a breath.

Breathe. Yeah.

Sunshine.

What the hell is going on here?

Huh?

Alex?

What are you doing to this boy?

Slow down, please.

What's up, boss?

Hey, Jerry, what's up?

Not much.

Chilling.

Nice and slow.

Thanks. Hey, Mr. Hunt. Hey, Mr. Hunt. Hi, girls.

So funny.

That wasn't funny.

What are you doing this weekend, Mr. Hunt?

Uh, girls, I'm sorry. It's not appropriate for me to discuss personal

Yeah, girls, that's not appropriate. There are boundaries.

There are things you don't ask us. Exactly. It's none of your business what

Hunt does on the weekend. Okay? If he's going home, where he lives... With his

mother? To hang out with her? What are you doing this weekend?

Probably just going to rent some movies.

Cute.

Okay. Or if I'm going clubbing. Who cares? That's none of your business. You

can't come. I'm not telling you what club I'm going to.

You're not even old enough.

So enough with the questions about what we're doing.

Yeah. You got it? Hey, we heard you're in the fashion show, Mr. Hunt. It's

pretty cool.

That's cool?

Really cool.

Bye, Mr. Hunt. Bye.

Don't be telling everybody he lives with his mother.

Please.

Thanks for that, but I think I'm going to have to have a discussion with those

girls.

See you later.

See you later.

That's all it is.

All right, what's going on?

Well, sir, we are very close to figuring out who did that.

Galloway.

You think it was Galloway? He's not my biggest fan, and you should hear the

filthy things he says about you. Wayne, stop it. It was David. He set us up.

Damn it.

Let's roll.

Mr. DeYoung, sit down.

Look, some kid drew on your pictures. Get over it.

Go apologize to Alex and then drop this whole thing. Understood?

Yes. But I really think if I could just have five minutes alone with David, I

could... Understood.

Understood.

Do you want our badges?

Can I still be in the fashion show?

You want to be in the fashion show now? Yeah, that's what I just said.

Oh, I thought you weren't lame and desperate for attention.

Okay, can I be in it or not?

Yes, but only because somebody dropped out. Awesome. All right. I usually wear

something sporty or maybe something kind of... Your outfit's already picked out

for you. All right. What is it?

Tweed.

I'm not wearing that.

Why not? It's fine. This is what Callahan was supposed to wear before he

out. I'm replacing Callahan. Callahan's twice my age.

It's... Perfect for your age range, Jerry.

No, we're not in the same age range.

You're on the lower end of it, but yeah.

Totally.

What at least have you wearing? Just some cool jeans and a tight T -shirt

says, Switch. Switch with me. Let me wear that.

What? Why? What are you wearing? What's the difference? What's a switch?

You're right.

I could probably pull off anything at this point. I feel real confident these

days.

Alex, the reason we brought you in here is because we want to apologize.

Why am I here?

Because you're going to apologize to Alex as well. For what?

For lying to us.

I didn't lie.

Word around the school was that Alex was the one who drew on your pictures.

Really? Because Alex told us he's never even seen the pictures.

I think I'm gonna cry again.

Everything's fine. We believe you.

And I'm sorry.

Thank you.

And I was told to apologize as well.

Thanks.

David?

But... David.

I'm sorry.

That's okay. I know you're just doing your jobs. And I don't think you look

a rabbit.

And you're not the devil.

Oh, thank you.

Wait a second.

I thought he never saw the pictures.

Well done, David.

Be you, David.

Why are we doing this?

Thanks for helping me with this, Malik.

Mine is the pleasure, Boobie.

And thank you for having my back with Trudy and Lisa. I just, I believe in

you know?

Malik also.

You know what? I don't care what people say. This is important, right?

Oh!

It is good to feel like we're making a difference in the world, right?

Good for us.

Thank you,

Ms. Johnson.

And up next, we have our very own... model social science piece we switch

up a bit oh my god i'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love love's going

leave um okay mr duncan is wearing a flashback to the 80s

you can see he's wearing red pants and a lot of neon and uh

for my shirt.

Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts.

I'm too sexy for Milan.

Too sexy for Milan.

New York and Japan.

I'm too sexy for your party.

Too sexy for your party. No way I'm just a dancing.

I'm a model.

You know what I mean? And I do my turn on the catwalk.

Yeah, on the catwalk.

Yeah,

I do my turn on the catwalk.

I'm sexy for my car.

Too sexy for my car. Too sexy by far.

I'm too sexy for my hat.

Give it up for Mr. Duncan.

Up next we have Mr. Hunt.

I'm not really sure what he's... Oh, wow!

I was supposed to wear that.

Mr.

Hunt is wearing a stylish three -piece suit with a paisley ascot.

Jerry, come on.

Okay.

This is inappropriate.

Wow. Two eras really coming together.

You'd be kidding me.

You can't believe someone would do that.

That's ridiculous.

I couldn't agree more.

Who do you think would do this?

I don't know, Alex. There's a lot of kids in this school. It's impossible to

know, but it's just silly if you ask me.

Yeah.

But I wouldn't be surprised if it was that big guy, Jimmy.

Jimmy.

I bet you that's who it was. I bet you're right. Jimmy would do this.

Bye, sir. See ya.

Hey, sir.

Just wanted to say that you were really good in the fashion show and...

Still

got it.