Original subtitles

Five more minutes to answer the questions, please. Keep working.

All right.

There we go.

Faster. Okay.

A little faster. Come on.

You can go faster than that. Come on.

Faster. Sir, try with your eyes closed.

I shut Maya, seriously?

It's my teaching hand.

Okay, let's take these.

That's enough.

Give me one sec.

Okay, all right.

Sorry.

Okay, hold on a sec.

Okay, sit down for one second.

Put that away.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Before we get started, special surprise.

I don't know how many of you have heard of the Summit Series 1972 Canada versus

Russia.

We won.

I wasn't born.

But before I was, my father started collecting signatures.

of the most famous team in Canadian history.

You have them all?

All but one.

I'm only missing perhaps the most famous on this team, Paul Henderson, who

scored the most famous goal in the entire series.

But I'm in luck, because tonight he's doing a signing in town, and I'm going

get it signed.

What about parent -teacher interviews?

That's what I need to talk to you guys about.

So a lot of you have signed up for me to speak to your parents. And really, to

be honest, you're all doing really well this year.

And you're really good kids.

Wonderful children.

So what I'm going to say is this. I only want to see the parents of those

students who have less than a 55 average.

Oh, man. Mine's a 52%. Now it's 55.

Nice. Okay?

One less set of parents I need to see.

Well, my parents will still want to come. Why, Maya? You come every year.

don't need to come.

You have a 97 average.

You could practically teach the course.

Just stay home. You're doing great. You know that. I don't need to see them.

Well, my parents won't be coming.

No, Jimmy, they won't. Because even your parents have given up on you.

I will leave this here at the front to take a look.

This shirt is worth a lot of money. But after tonight, once I get Paul Henderson

to sign it.

It's going to be priceless.

Oh, there he is. Love machine.

That was the big date last night. Pretty steamy, I must confess.

Give me the dirt.

Diamond, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

Real steam room, huh? You have no idea. She did this thing with her neck. What

are you guys talking about?

Oh, just a date I had last night.

Ooh, how did it go?

It was hot.

Really? Who's the lucky lady?

His mom.

Really?

Are you okay with that, Simon?

No, I'm not okay with it.

I'm great with it.

I don't know.

Great.

That's great.

How long have you guys been seeing each other? Only a week, but it is getting

pretty intense.

Really intense.

It's like we're on a one -way express trip to Luftville.

Woo -hoo!

Wow.

Okay. Wow, that's a lot to take in.

That's what my mom said. What?

Yeah, I'm just going to go grab my brain.

Okay. Why do I engage?

Simon, are you sure you're okay with it? Because I just wouldn't want things to

get weird between us. I know what you mean. Don't worry.

Brothers before mothers, like they say.

I'm not familiar with that.

I'm happy for you.

Pound me.

One per family.

All right. Thanks for doing that.

That's right, man. I need you to hold my spot in line.

Yeah, I think you can find anybody else to do this.

No, I tried everybody else, all right?

All right.

You know the value of this?

Yeah, very valuable. And how important it is to my dad and I.

Okay, keep it up like that. Precious cargo. Keep it flat.

Yeah, okay, I'll keep it flat. I'll keep it perfectly flat.

Perfect. No, what are you doing? I don't want to see it. No, don't open it. You

just had a grilled cheese.

It's fine. Oh, my God. This is great.

You're stressing me out, Bill. Check this out.

Put it back. Sweet, man. Put it back.

What are you... You are not worthy.

It's okay. What are you doing? It's okay. It's okay.

Oh, come on. It's fine. And you just throw it on there like that? It's fine.

can't take this. I can't trust you.

Hey, Lisa.

Hey, it's Lisa. No, don't. Hi, Jerry.

Bill wants to say hi.

Bill. Hey, Lisa.

Wow. A Team Canada 72 jersey.

Yeah. Signed by the whole team?

Everyone except Paul Henderson.

That's impressive.

And guess where Henderson's going to be tonight?

In town, autograph signing.

I'm going to bring it, and I'm going to get it signed.

Too bad about the parent -teacher interviews.

Too bad if I didn't have a principal who loved sports and let me go do that.

Duncan, I feel your pain. I really do. But these parents pay good money for

their kids to come here. They need to know that it's worth it. I understand

that.

How about if I get done early? Can I go early?

All right. You get through all the parents that have come to talk to you.

every parent that is on the sheet, as long as I see them, I can go get this

signed. And thank you.

Thanks what?

Oh, this is fantastic. Thank you so much.

It's not for you.

Are you crazy?

Hey, Jerry. Cool flag.

Simon. Hey.

What can I do for you?

Nothing.

A lot of work to do.

So.

You're always working.

I'm the vice principal.

Busy, busy.

There's a weird dog outside with no tail.

They say it's born that way, but I don't think so. You want to go take a look?

Tell you what, buddy.

Maybe after I get my work done, then we can hang out. Okay?

Deal?

Okay.

Off you go, then.

I found this book in the storage closet, and I figured it must belong to you.

Oh, A Pilgrim's Call, Corby Friend.

Yeah. I've been looking for this for months.

I assumed it would have gone.

Well, it was, and now it's back.

How can I repay you? There's no need. Yes.

In my culture, one must do something of greater value to make the other person

feel small.

Oh.

Uh, it's just a book.

Oh.

Oh, I probably shouldn't have said that out loud.

You know what? I'm just going to go and work on my inventory.

Okay. I will help you with said inventory.

Really? There is no... Oh, boy.

Oh, no need.

As you know, tonight is parent -teacher interviews, and I need a volunteer

to assist me for the appointments.

Come on, people. Let's get some more choices.

It's a long night.

Who would like to help Mr.

D? Come on, people.

Uh, Vincent? How about you?

I have to go to bed at 7.

7.

Oh, boy. Come on, guys. I can't. This can't be the only choices you're giving

me. Stefan? Do I get anything?

No, but you get to help me.

No, thanks.

Oh! Oh, sir! Oh, sir! Oh!

My only two options. Oh, sir!

Oh!

Last chance.

No one else.

Sir.

Lucy, you do it. Yes, sir, but I wanted to do it too.

You can do it next time.

Hey, Simon.

Hey, what's up?

You all set for parent -teacher interview?

Yep, all set.

Going to get a chance to give the room a quick tidy?

Maybe. Okay.

Hope so, because the parents will be here soon and it's a bit of a mess.

Yeah.

I get it.

Do you?

Because I can't help but notice that you're still sitting there.

I said I'll get to it.

Simon.

Simon. Simon.

Clean your room.

It's a pigsty.

Okay?

What do you care?

Robert.

Why do I care?

I'm the vice principal.

It's my job to care.

Now get this room cleaned up.

Well, you might be my vice principal, but you are not my dad.

Remember, your job is to keep the night moving.

Okay, sir.

You're going to give five minutes to each interview, and then you knock on

door. I don't care if you interrupt.

Gotcha. How many minutes?

Five. Five minutes. Perfect.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

They're here already. It's a lot of people.

Hello?

Three minutes.

Do three minutes.

Now, on this test, you gave my grandson 62%. But on this one, you only gave him

60%. That's right.

Okay, so let me just explain that I don't give them those marks.

I assign the test, they write the test, and that's the mark they get.

See? Okay. Oh, that's the door.

It wasn't loud, but that was the door knock.

Hold on. There is one more thing.

I need to find my glasses.

See, when the door knocks... Oh, well, it doesn't really matter. We have to go.

I'm so sorry. I have to go. Come on. Come with me.

Let's go.

Thank you.

All right. Thank you.

That was eight minutes.

I knocked.

You have to knock louder. They have to hear the knock.

Okay?

Like that.

Why don't you bring your mother forward? You have an 87 average. What did I tell

you? That's not my mother.

Yes, it is.

Simon, your mother and I called you in because we felt we needed to talk.

What's going on here? Well, I guess we feel like you're not handling this

transition very well.

Mom?

Well, honey, we feel like your attitude has changed.

Ever since Robert and I started our relationship.

Now you're ganging up on me.

Ganging up on old, simple Simon.

Oh, that's fresh.

No, we're not.

Squeaking Simon out the door? Hmm?

Is that what you're doing? No.

And, in fairness, it's only been a week, so it's not a relationship per se. Is

that all this is to you?

Some week -long lark?

Just hit it and quit it?

Simon, no.

Please. Don't yell at him.

I wasn't.

Yeah? You were? He's probably drinking again, too.

Okay. He's probably back on the hitch.

Look, Angela, I really like you. I think you're great. And let's be honest, some

of the things we've done... But

it has only been a week. Robert,

I really thought we wanted the same thing.

I have so much invested in this.

In you.

And I think that you are nice.

Stop fighting.

Maybe we should talk about this later.

When we're not in front of the aisle, Che.

I'm here to help.

It's really not necessary, Wayne. No, it is. Pay it backward. That's the

pilgrim's call.

Okay, fine, okay.

Pass me the shuttlecock to the top there.

Here you go. Thank you. One, two, three.

Oh.

That's not a... That's not a shuttle.

All right. Thank you, parents, for coming.

And Maya.

Now, since I know you all are very busy people, I thought I would do this in a

group session. So we'll start with David, wonderful student. Keep up the

work. And I love having Toby in my class. And Brianna, what a wonderful

What else can I say? She's a great student.

That's it. Thank you so much for coming.

And what about Maya?

Well, you brought Maya, so I can't really tell you how I feel about Maya

she's sitting right there.

You can say anything you want in front of Maya.

Okay. Maya's a pain in the ass.

Is there a reason why you're rushing us?

No, I... What? He wants to go to an autograph signing. Not true. He has a 72

Team Canada jersey signed by the whole team except Paul Henderson.

It's right there in the garment bag.

I'm trying to do parent -teacher interviews here.

Can we see the jersey?

It's my dry cleaning. It's not a jersey.

Do you see what I'm talking about?

Pain in the ass.

Hey, I cleaned up my room like you said.

I can tuck out the garbage and everything.

Simon. And I made my bed this morning. You'll never have to peek through the

door and see sloppy sheets. Simon, look.

This isn't easy, okay? I have some bad news.

Your mother and I talked, and I'm afraid things just aren't going to work out

between us.

And I'm sorry.

Why not?

Sometimes when two adults get together, feelings get complicated.

But I need you to know that we really tried. We did.

Yeah.

It's good to me.

It's my fault, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

But it's your mom's fault, too.

We'll never get to play catch in the yard.

You'll never tell me I can't go out looking like that and send me back to my

room to put on more clothes.

I promise you I will never do that.

Same thing happened with my last two dads.

One. One? That's awesome. Send them in.

All right.

Hi, come on in. Great to meet you. Have a seat.

Welcome.

So, by process of elimination, you are... I'm... Ed...

Connors? No way.

Naomi... Dad.

So, how's the... The... The... The... The... The... The...

Thanks for... ...teaching your... No, no.

...being so nice to...

My pleasure. Do you have no further questions? Actually, I... Email me while

do that.

So nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. All right, thank you.

How'd I do, sir? Gotta go.

Hey, Galka.

Hey. Shh, shut up.

Listen, some things happen, okay?

We had some laughs.

You grab my junk.

I just think we should keep it between us, okay? You know?

Cheers.

Kidding, don't? Yeah, I'm getting bad.

I'm getting bad.

Okay, folks, we're just going to take ten more people.

Ten more people?

I'll never make that. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sorry, teacher. Sorry, I'm a teacher. I have an emergency here.

Yeah, I have a student who's sick. Sorry about that.

Sorry,

I'm a teacher and I have a student.

So, I have a student who's dying.

So, how stupid do you feel now?

Like it's you.

Wow.

I can't believe I'm finally here. Remember that?

Oh, yes, I do.

Mr. Paul Henderson.

Wow, what I went through.

That's right.

I got some kidney stone problems here.

Painful. Fuck it up. You're a hockey player.

Come on, good guy.

All right, this is one that I have been waiting for.

Where do you want me to sign this? Let me think. Not on the sleeve.

Because I want to keep... You see how I have everything... Well, my dad did most

of this. But see how I have the whole... Stay away from the red.

Not on the red. Don't get marker on the red, please. Yeah, I just put that

there. You see how I've kept everybody in the white? Because this is... I'm

thinking here.

I'm thinking here.

Hold on, hold on. Let me make sure.

That feels right, too.

But I think that'll throw the balance a bit.

Boom, right there. Your first choice.

Let's get you out of here.

Look at that.

Perfect.

How did you get that?

Oh, my God.

My dad's going to kill me.

No.

It's permanent.

Yeah. How'd it go?

Not so good.

What do you mean? What happened?

He butchered it.

Why'd he put a big black line there?

It's completely ruined.

This is worthless.

Yeah.

Could I have it?

I can't believe you thought I was going to ruin this.

Hello, Norbert.

Angela. Have a great day today, Si. See you tonight.

Thanks, Mom. Hey, I'll make sure he's bathed and ready for you.

Grow up.

Simon, I know things got a little bit weird between us, but I just want to

sure you and I are okay.

Get over it, Robert.

It was one week.

At the court.

Hey, Jerry. I hear you got Paul Anderson to sign your jersey. I'm sorry, ruin

your jersey.

Heard you fondled Leon.

No, that was an accident. Was it? Was it an accident when you first grabbed it?

Or when you stayed and hovered around it a little longer?

Okay, who told you that?

That's what he tweeted.

What? And then I retweeted.

Oh, Jerry, come on.

Everybody will see.

21 followers.