Original subtitles

Do you know why you were sent here?

Nope.

Can you tell me why you put these words on your notebooks?

Do we have to? Yes, you have to, Connie.

They're our couple names.

Your what? Our couple names. I like Tucker, and if I marry Tucker, our name

becomes... Faith and Tucker make... And if I marry Brock, we become... I get

it, Connie. I just read it 50 times.

Why doesn't Faith and Tucker become Tate? That's a nice word. That sounds

stupid. And why does his name get to go first?

What? Are you saying that boys are better than us? No, not saying that.

Then how come they get everything?

King's court? Why not queen's court?

King's husband?

Bigger and better. Even in chess, the queen protects the precious king.

Okay, this is not... We're sick of it. I like Brock and his name going after

mine. What if you liked someone else?

You can tell us what you like and deal with it. How about no doodling?

We're eight -year -old girls. We're gonna doodle.

And you better not tell Tucker and Brock that we like them.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my

life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Oh,

you're not supposed to stand there.

I made an announcement about this. You can't stand there.

What is that stuff?

Slime. That's disgusting.

You're disgusting.

What was that?

Can I just play with my slime?

You're friendly.

Play with your slime. Why don't you play? Like, just play sports or tag.

Stop wasting your childhood with this garbage.

You're garbage.

What?

Do you guys hear anything?

I mean, I've heard that blondes have more fun, but...

Is that, um... Lisa, yeah, pretty drastic new do.

Normally I'd make fun of her, but it's kind of... It's nice.

Interesting.

Oh, here she comes.

What?

Hi, ladies. Hey.

Hi, love the new do, Lisa. Really?

It works for you. Oh, thank you. I mean, I know it's a little crazy, but... No.

No, no, I mean, I can't put, um... I can't put my finger on it. It's like

it's... It's fresh and flirty and it's fun and makes you pop in all the right

places. Oh, thank you.

Stop it.

Well, I'd love to keep doing this, but I've got to go. I'll see you later.

Yeah, you can count on it.

Yeah, you can count on it.

You all right?

Keep it in your pants, girl.

I'm sick and tired of seeing slime all over the school, Jerry. What is this?

What are you doing? Oh, it's one of Bill's delicious ginger smoothies, but

puts these real chunks of ginger in it and... How long does this take?

I don't know, 30, 40 minutes a day. It's all good.

What's up?

Slime! The students are obsessed. They keep sneaking it into phys ed. They're

playing with it in the halls.

Yeah, I've seen it too.

Okay, what do you want me to do? You're the principal now. Why don't you put on

your big boy pants and ban slime?

Yeah, I am the principal and I can ban stuff.

So slime...

Is banned.

But you can't just tell me.

You have to make it official.

Slime is officially banned.

What? What do you want me to do? Put out a memo.

How do you put out a memo? What does that even mean, put out a memo?

Just ban slime, Jerry.

Mr. Hunt sent me to see you.

Which one of us? Me or Mr. Dwyer? I don't know. He just sent the vice

What? That's both of us. This co -vice principal thing is a mess.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know. Rock, paper, scissors?

I can hear you.

Sidebar. Okay, can one of you guys just give me the detention so I can go? Just,

just, just, just.

Gotta do something about this. No.

I know.

It's inefficient.

The students need to know at least which one of us they're coming to see when

they're sent to our office. Who's gonna take them? You wanted the sidebar. I

assumed you had an idea.

Okay, how about this? We split all the students up by last name.

Alphabetical. I like it.

You take A to M, I'll take N to Z.

Nice try, Robert. That means I'm stuck with the Moss brothers, Lindsay Clark,

Jason Davies, and this guy. Okay. The bottom of the barrel.

So, how about this?

Alphabet draft.

Take turns picking letters. It's the only fair way.

I think we're cooking.

I'll get a board.

Trudy, hold all calls for the rest of the day. What the hell is this?

We're working on it.

This isn't worth my time.

Come on, hurry up.

Hey, the Tupperware wasn't part of the deal. That's a rip -off. This stuff is

already too expensive. It should be included.

Do you want it or not?

Excuse me, girls.

Chicken.

They're dramatic.

What do we have here?

In case you haven't heard, I banned slime.

Yeah, I'm the principal. I can ban stuff now, girl.

No, I heard. I just didn't care. I don't let anything come between me and my

money. Excuse me?

$20 for eight ounces.

$20 for that crap?

This is the high -quality blue slime.

I'm clearing out 80 to 100 ounces a day.

You having a seizure, Grandpa?

I'm thinking that I'm going to confiscate all your slime.

Oh, no. The big scary principal confiscated my slime.

I have plenty more genius.

Well, then you're not allowed to sell it. Why? Because of your ban?

Yeah, right.

Try and stop me.

Get back here.

You're forgetting I'm principal now and I have access to your files?

So? I know you have two suspensions.

One more, you're expelled for life.

And I don't think your parents will like that. Are you following me now?

Yes.

Thanks for the slime.

Thanks for the slime.

So I said, listen, buddy, one quick squeeze, I could change your life

That is my drink. Put it down.

Yes, that's incredibly weird.

What is wrong with you? What?

Nothing. It's just this hairdo. She looks so good. Do you have feelings for

What? Oh, that's insane. What you're saying...

I just see something I've never seen before in Lisa. That's all. And I can't

stop thinking about her. And when people mention her name, my palms go sweaty

and I feel like I'm on a cloud.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

I'm falling for Lisa. Yeah.

Excuse me, Mr. Hunt. I need to speak to you for a second, please.

Oh, we're sort of in the middle of a tutoring session here, Principal Duncan.

Okay, Abby, what are you struggling with?

Photosynthesis. I'll tell you what that is. It's when the sun hits the plants,

they give off oxygen, the plants breathe in CO2, and they die because CO2 is a

poisonous gas.

Well, no, that's not 100 % accurate.

Is that it?

Bye. See you later.

Oh, well, you will need more detail on the test, though, Abby, so... Okay,

don't breathe that stuff in. Don't lock yourself in the garage ever.

I see now where the problem was.

I need you to make this as much as you can as fast as possible. Jerry, this is

slime. This has been bad. I can't...

I banned it, and now we're going to sell it.

Well, I have to admit, I have a certain scientific curiosity in old slime.

Okay, I'm in. Let's do it. Yes, yes.

Okay, we can't do it in here.

No. So we have to find a place. A private place.

Off school grounds.

Something mobile.

In case we expand other schools.

Right? Okay. Now, what can we come up with?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I think I am. We rent a boat. Use your RV.

Yes, I like your idea better. Yeah.

No, I really thought you were talking about the RV, just you're sort of

at it and describing it. I was looking at it. Describing it almost.

I was looking at it.

We are sitting on a gold mine. We are going to make a fortune.

Do not understand how you're going to do that because you are principal. You

can't just go class to class throwing slime.

Don't worry about that. You don't worry about any of that. I'll handle all that.

A little bit of glue.

This is just an accident waiting to happen. All right, let's see what we

Oh, wow.

I'd say we're close to about 97 % purity there.

And we put this in, we stir it, and then we start hocking this stuff in the

hallway of the Xavier Academy.

There.

Jump that guy in. Okay.

Oh, my. No discount.

Oh, great.

Do it right from there and smell it.

Make a whole different level.

Oh, wow.

Okay,

keep stirring.

I feel like a witch.

You know what I mean?

Get a little high from the glue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got glue. We got glue.

Oh, yeah.

Hey,

hey. Fizzy time?

Oh, no, I'm just trying to find this file and it's... Maybe I can help a

bit. Oh, no, it's okay.

Don't touch it.

Oh, that's me.

It's okay.

I got it, Bobby. It's fine.

It ends, right?

Yeah. It's like full of... I got it, Bobby. You don't... There we go. Yeah.

All better.

You've got a little eyelash on your cheek. No, I got it. I got it.

Oh, you have to close your eyes now and make a wish.

Okay.

What do I wish for?

I wonder what I imagined.

That wasn't what I wished for.

What?

I wish for cats to have more than nine lives.

Let's go.

Come on.

Principal Duncan, I caught these three trying to sell slime.

Looks like detention's going to be a little more crowded today.

Unbelievable.

You guys, what have I said about slime?

Thank you, Mr.

D. I will deal with these slime balls. They will be getting a phone call home.

All right, she's gone. How do we do?

Not great, sir.

Why not?

It's the slime.

What's wrong with the slime?

It's garbage, sir. Amanda Susan's blue slime was way better than that. You've

got to think they're hawking an inferior product.

That's ridiculous. It's slime.

What's the difference?

For starters, yours has way too many air pockets.

Sorry. And it's way too dry.

Plus, it tastes like shit.

Language, Philip.

Don't eat it.

What am I supposed to do now? I don't know, but you better figure it out

The demand is out there. You're just blowing the supply.

You yell at me.

Okay, you're up.

C.

I didn't see it there.

How many students have a last name that starts with the letter U?

Do you know?

Boom!

W.

Okay, we got Watson, we got Ward, we got Wilson.

Those are all good kids.

I think I'm good. You let it go, it's official.

Weaver sisters.

Ah! Boom! I thought he got expelled!

They were suspended, but they're back in now. Now they are your problem.

Unless, trade alert, trade alert, I will take your W last name if you take my

last names P and G.

Do we have a deal?

I mean, we have a deal.

Only if you take my X.

With everything I've heard about her?

No way.

You trying to be funny?

You know she's dead, right?

So let me guess.

You thought slime was easy to make. And it wasn't. So now you need my help. Your

crap's not selling.

Yeah, who told you? I can see the pathetic look in your eyes.

My stuff's the best.

That's why I make bank.

Fine.

60 -40 split.

60 -40 split. That's a crap deal, and you know it. 70 -30.

I can't go up so fast. I didn't even get a chance to think about the first...

Better hurry up, because in about five seconds, it's going to 80 -20.

Oh, my gosh.

Fine.

Let's go. Grab your stuff.

I need you right now.

Too hot in these. I can't work like this.

Don't see Simon complaining. You don't think I'm hot?

You're hot?

You've been sitting here doing nothing. We've been busting our butts all day.

Who do you think's adding this up? Who do you think's weighing it and packaging

it, Amanda Susan?

I am!

It's wetting my ass off!

Okay, okay. Let's just... Let's come down and take a breath.

Feel like maybe we're all getting a little bit worked out. Let's focus on

greater goal here.

Make it fly!

She started.

I'm actually learning quite a lot from this.

You're right.

Which I never considered because it's quite dangerous.

Maybe next time we can use contact solution?

That would work.

Contact solution?

You want to make good stuff or you want to make crap?

Good stuff. Less talking, more climbing.

Come in.

How'd we do? Sold out our whole supply in one recess.

Yes! That's amazing.

So we started taking pre -orders. Pre -orders?

Hear that? Pre -orders.

Get on it, Amanda Susan. Let's go pick up the pace.

Yeah, Amanda Susan.

Move it.

Shut up, Bethany. Stay out of this. All right? Don't talk to our staff like

that. That's it. I'm done. No, you're not. You're not done.

No, no, no. No, no, no. You can't be done. You walk out now, and you will not

get a cut.

Wait, wait.

She gets a cut? Shut up, Bethany. Stay out of this.

I'm thinking. I hate this. All of my parents are rich.

So, bye.

Wait, Amanda Susan, you do not walk out that door!

Oh, gee whiz, Jerry!

Relax. It's falling apart.

It's falling apart, Jerry.

More money, more problems. Like Mason Puffy says. Get it together, Simon. I

can't lose you right now. What do you want me to do, Jerry? We just drove away

our chemical engineer!

I don't know how to make this crap!

Simon, I need you to figure out how to make this. Fast!

Where do I start?

Huh? Where do I start?

You're a chemistry teacher!

I need you to think how you made this slime.

I've got it. I need grease, paint, and a window.

I'm just worried that nobody's been attending to my class for the last

days. That's okay. I'm back on.

I'm back on. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm sorry for yelling. Okay, we're good.

We're back. Where am I, Jerry?

Back in the saddle, baby! We're making slime!

We're down to two letters.

M and O.

Mo, O as in O 'Brien and Osgood, bad kids, there's no question. Or M as in

McKenzie, comma, Alex.

The worst kid, possibly in the world.

O, which one should I pick?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Can't stand it, kid. I got an idea. Look, how about this? I'll take all the

other letters if you take the M. So you'll take...

All the kids in the school, if I take the M kid? Take all the kids in the

if you take the M.

I'll take that action all day, every day of the week. Hate that.

Speak of the devil.

Mr. McKenzie.

Rothschild. What?

It's Rothschild now. I moved in with my mom and legally took her name, so...

It's Rothschild now.

It's Rothschild now.

It starts with an R. Which one of us has R again?

Oh, that's right. It's you.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on Miss Matheson and see how her

Harvard application is coming along while you deal with Mr.

Rothschild.

I just don't know how I could be so wrong.

Those feelings were intense.

That was just a little healthy sexual exploration.

Perfectly normal.

Nope. No, it was more than that. It was... It felt different. It felt like

were soulmates or something.

Ew.

Intense.

Truders, can I see that Matheson application?

Just started to bullet it with Alex Rothschild. I thought his name was

I did, too.

Oh, my God. What?

I wasn't in love with Letha.

I only thought that I was because you looked like Robert.

Interesting twist.

Bobble, you okay?

Robert, I think that we might be soulmates.

Duh. Okay.

It's obvious that you love me, and...

I have to admit to myself that I love you too.

So I think we have to stop fighting.

Bobby Jean Galka, what is even happening right now?

Yes?

Will you marry me?

Of course! Yes!

A million times yes.

Oh,

I don't have a... Ring, ring Trudy.

Remember Trudy? Yep.

Oh, wow.

Oh, your hair.

Twinsies called it.

Oh, that's the end of this hairdo. Wait.

This is so good timing.

This is better than Amanda Susan.

Yeah, I was really in the zone for this batch. Oh, baby.

I'm going to make a killing off of this. Gravy train is going to be rolling in.

For you, that is. I'm still just in it for the scientific curiosity.

Ooh. It's about the size and weight of a cow's heart, I think. The size and

weight of a cow's heart. Come in.

Hello, my little pushers.

How much money did we make today?

Nothing, sir.

What? This is the greatest blue slime we've ever made.

Slime's over.

Yeah, it's done.

What are you talking about?

It was a fad, sir. A fad? Fads end.

A new fad's come in.

This is in now.

What are you showing us here?

Sarsen sandals? What are we supposed to do with that, Simon?

I don't know.

Well, I'm out. Zero scientific curiosity there.

Just a bad luck.

What the?

What the?

What am I supposed to do with all this slime? That ain't our problem anymore.

Bye.

Oh.

All right. Okay.

See you later.

Not this hazmat suit, or can I hold on to it? I don't care, Simon.

I'll hold on to it.

There it is.

All right.

This is terrific.

Yeah, this is going to hold us over for a while.

I didn't think you liked slime, though.

Oh, I don't like the kids playing with it, no.

So what are you going to do with all of it? Ted and I have found other uses for

it. You know what I mean?

Disgusting. Yeah. So gross.

Oh, yeah, I can fit in there.

Happy birthday, Ted.

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