Original subtitles

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider, she didn't care if the whole world looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her, she was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first proper to, and you're glad she showed up.

The country was falling apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

Okay, come on, everybody.

Let's do it right here, right on this drink. No, not here. Oh, come on now.

are the birthday girl. Now, let's do it one more time. Do you know what? This is

the best birthday I've ever had.

The day in New York City. It's just so beautiful. All right, now, all together

now. Ready? Oh, no.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday.

New Yorkers aren't friendly.

You know, New York is a really fun city.

I've never heard of this play we're going to see.

Beat the Devil?

No, but you're going to love it. And you don't know how hard it was for me to

get tickets to this show.

What time does the play start anyway?

You know, Arthur, we should have grabbed lunch first. I'm hungry. Me too. I'm

starved. Hey, why don't we get a hot dog right there? Oh, no, come on. Let's

have a nice lunch later. We'll go to Shrath. And listen, tonight before we go

home, maybe we can all take a horse and buggy ride through Central Park.

Heaven! Are you kidding?

Central Park's not safe.

Oh, it would be safe in a horse and buggy. The only thing that's safe going

through Central Park at night is a bullet.

Oh, Walter, now you're exaggerating. I mean, New York may have its faults, but

let's face it, it is still a very exciting city.

It's filled with art museums, the theater, ballet, opera. You know, it's

cultural center of America.

Just ignore him, Walter.

I can't. I'm hungry.

Mario, I don't think that this is that kind of a show.

You don't see anyone else dressed funny.

How about the clown in the funny hat?

Oh, excuse me for staring, but you have a loose pepperoni.

That's okay, buddy. I got plenty.

But don't touch the anchovy. That's my zipper.

Thanks.

You know, Viv, something tells me this play is not going to be a stimulating

intellectual experience.

Well, actually, I do have a small confession to make.

Yes? Well, I was going to tell you.

Yes? Oh, gosh, I'll get out.

Yes, Viv?

Oh, golly gee.

Look, will you stop doing Jim Neighbors nightclub act? Yes.

Well, Beat the Devil is a television game show.

Vivian, you told me it was a play. Well, yes, but I knew if I told you the

truth, you wouldn't come. And I knew since it was my birthday, you wouldn't

my telling a little lie.

Happy birthday, Viv. You're wrong.

Wait, Mom.

Where are you going? Look, there is a revival of Roman Holiday playing down

street. I'll see you later. I refuse to spend the afternoon sitting through one

of these dumb game shows. Oh, but this isn't a dumb show. It's very dignified.

Oh? And who's this? Prince Philip?

He's the only weirdo in line.

Hey, lady, how would you like some mozzarella in the mouth?

I'd like one.

Hey, the mushrooms look good.

Look, you three enjoy the show, enjoy your lunch. I'll see you later. You

want to go see an old movie about Rome when you can see Beat the Devil.

Vivian, you know it has been my lifelong dream to visit Rome.

And since the closest I'll ever get to Italy is him, well, I'd rather sit in a

movie theater and dream about Rome than stay here and watch his peppers droop.

Listen, listen, this is my birthday, and you don't know what strings my nephew

had to pull to get these tickets.

have here.

It's him. It's him. It's him.

You're him.

Him who? I'm Lyle Bellamy, your host on Beat the Devil. Are you folks from out

of town?

Yes. No.

Which town would you like us to be out of?

We're from Tuckahoe.

Tuckahoe. And where's that?

In New York.

Wonderful. Say, you're pretty quick with the answers. You might make a good

contestant. Oh, so would I. I know where we're from, too.

It's my birthday, so doesn't that count for something? Well, I guess I better

not ask you how old you are.

42. What do I win?

That's wonderful.

I'm Mrs. Arthur Dr.

Harmon, and this is Mr. Arthur Dr. Harmon, and these are our friends, Mr.

and Walter Finley. Well, that's wonderful.

That's absolutely wonderful. And what are your names?

Uh, I'll take that one. Arthur, I believe Mr.

Bellamy was making a joke.

That's wonderful.

Maybe not.

Well, it's been wonderful chatting with you folks, and I hope you enjoy Beat the

Devil with your host, Lyle Bellamy.

Look, I don't want to spoil your birthday. You stay here and have fun.

to see Roman Holiday. Mrs.

Harmon, Mrs. Finley, good news.

Lyle Bellamy has chosen you as contestants on Beat the Devil with your

Lyle Bellamy.

Contestants? We'll be ushering you in in just a moment.

What? We're going to be contestants?

We're going to be contestants on Beat the Devil!

With your host, Lyle Bellamy, no way to be. Wait a minute. What about me?

It's all your fault I didn't depict Sally.

It is not my fault.

I begged him to come as lasagna.

Mario!

Why not give it a shot? It could be fun. You could win some big prizes. Do you

think that I am the kind of person who would debate herself?

on national television, jumping up and down and screaming to win a chain -link

fence. I will have no part of it. You know, Maude, we've been best friends for

long, long time.

Look, Vivian, Vivian, game shows bring out the worst in people. Vivian, you'd

make a fool of yourself. I just thought our friendship meant something to you.

Vivian, it does.

But, honey, I know you.

Vivian, you're the nervous type.

You know, you'd get out there and you'd get excited and you'd start screaming

and yelling and jumping up and down and look ridiculous.

Vivian, you'd humiliate yourself.

Now, you don't want to do that, do you?

Of course not.

Vivian, please don't cry.

Vivian, please don't cry. I hate it when you cry. Well, if you want me to stop

crying, you know what words to say.

Stop crying.

At least if I'm with her, she won't make a complete fool of herself.

Very good, very good.

Well, well, well, you ladies are certainly doing well.

Oh, well, we'll be back right after this word from one of our many wonderful

sponsors.

Okay, Lyle, we're off the air now.

Why can't you give me a clear cue?

All right, ladies, you can relax now. We're going to put the commercials in.

Boy, this is agonizing.

Walter, what do you expect?

They've already won some very nice prizes.

The portable radio, the beach umbrella, and a three -year supply of Chungking

noodles.

They've won. What do you mean, they've won?

Maude has answered all the questions. Vivian hasn't said a word. She's just

sitting there staring straight ahead.

Oh, don't worry, Walter.

Speaking medically, as a doctor, I've seen that condition a lot. You see, a

person under pressure can go into temporary paralysis.

I've had it happen to myself when I'm in the middle of an operation.

Wonderful. All right. Our two homemakers from Tuckahoe and their opponents are

unemployed black man and his pretty little wife.

The Burtons.

All right. Now, here's the toss -up question in your category, movie

In the 1931 film classic, Public Enemy, James Cagney pushed a grapefruit into

the face of a young and unknown actress.

Now, if you want to beat the devil, name that actress.

That's right!

Now, now, let's take a look at what you've won.

Right, Lyle, chain -link fence!

The lucky winner today sees this beautiful fence.

Here we are giving chain -link fence. What kind of prize is chain -link fence?

Oh, that's one heck of a prize, Walter.

Oh, my gosh, look at that.

With that gift certificate from J .C. Penney, they will want to...

That's right, Johnny, over $3 ,400 worth of merchandise and $15 in cash, making

a grand total of $3 ,415.

All right, Maude, Vivian, here's your bonus question, so listen carefully.

In the original Tarzan... Elmo Lincoln.

Right.

and really top -notch homemakers, I'll bet.

Whoop! Our time is up. Well, it's too bad. The Burtons, Liz Dick, I'm sorry

didn't win.

But we do have some very nice parting gifts for you, including our Beat the

Devil home game with your inflatable host, Lyle Bellamy.

How about a fine hand for the Burtons? Really good sport.

Thank you.

All right.

You have just qualified to come back tomorrow and try for the Beelzebub

now. That's a big decision, so take your time.

Here's what you could win should you decide to come back.

if our contestants do opt to return, they can win this lovely set of luggage,

which includes... Vivian.

Vivian.

I hate this, and I don't want to come back. We won't come back, but at least

to look intelligent. We're on national television. I mean, have a little

dignity. All standard -sized baggage compartments are under any seat.

And all that luggage will come in handy, Lyle, because they'll also be shooting

for a ten -day, all -expense -paid vacation for four in historic Rome.

What's your decision?

Well, thank you very much. We're going to beat the devil!

We're going to beat the devil!

Vivian! Vivian, I just spoke to the producers.

We're going to be taping the next show in just a few minutes.

And Vivian, they're going to give us all new clothes to wear so it looks like

the next day.

Oh!

No, there's no time. Now, listen, Vivian, we have to think of every movie

was ever made. From A to Z, Aaron Slick from Punk and Crypt to Zombies on

Broadway. Now, now, let's start with the A's.

Affair, Affair in Havana, Raymond Burr, Lila Lazo. Lord, you've already won $5

,000 worth of prizes.

Affair in Trinidad, Rita Hayworth, Glenn Ford.

Africa screams.

Abbott and Costello.

What?

If you go back on the show and you miss a question, you will lose everything.

Oh, who cares? Arthur, all I want is that trip to Rome. I'd risk anything for

that. B. B. Bad girl.

Anna Nagel. Wilfred Hyde. What?

Bad man of brimstone. Wallace Beery. Virginia Bruce.

Bad for each other. What?

Charlton Heston.

Elizabeth Scott. I've never seen her this way. The woman is possessed by

Possessed?

Joan Crawford. Clark Gable.

Gene Herschel, Zazu Pitts.

Ron, just look at you. You're turning into a piggy. Piggy.

That's all, folks.

No, you're a piggy. You're a piggy, piggy, piggy.

Oh, Vivian.

Vivian, you know I couldn't care less about the prizes or the money.

All I want is that trip to Rome.

Vivian, don't you remember in college I studied Italian?

You were taking French.

Yes, but I was dating Aldo Fabrizi.

All you ever learned from him was grazie.

I had a lot to be thankful for.

Now, Vivian, we really have an awful lot of work to do. See, see.

Captain Apache, Captain Courageous. I'm not going back out there.

Vivian! Oh, she's right. Why don't we just take our prizes and forget the game

show? We can all have a nice dinner in Chinatown.

Chinatown! Jack Nicholson fades on away.

I'm not going to do it.

Vivian.

Vivian.

Vivian, have you any idea what your friendship means to me? Vivian, do you

the first thing I do every morning?

Gargle?

No. I say, thank you, God, for giving me a friend like

Vivian Harmon.

Then I gargle.

You do? Of course.

Oh, Vivian, we're best friends.

I mean, if you... We help each other. If you need money, I'm there.

Vivian, if you need food for your table, I'm there.

If you need a trip to Rome, I'm there.

Oh, sweet.

Now, do you mean after all these years, you are going to tell me that you are

not the friend I think you are? Viv, is that what you're going to tell me?

No, Mud, I wouldn't tell you that for the world. Oh, what have I been thinking

of? Yourself.

Vivian.

You're right.

I'm the piggy.

I'm the piggy. I'm the piggy. I'm the piggy. I'm the piggy.

I'm the piggy. There, there, there, there.

I forgive you, dear.

And when we get to Rome, I'll have the Pope forgive you, too.

Mrs.

Farman, Mrs. Finley, time to get down to wardrobe, ladies.

Vivian, are you coming? Of course I am. Oh, grazie, grazie.

Oh, mia grazie.

Did you see that?

Vivian is a real pushover.

People can get her to do anything.

I wonder why I can't.

And so, let's welcome back our two ladies from Tuckahoe, New Jersey.

New York.

Wonderful.

Incidentally, we do want to welcome station KTWO in Casper, Wyoming.

I'm fine, I'm fine. We're just going to win the trip to Rome and then we will

leave. Good.

All right, Vivian and Maude, are you ready for today's Beelzebub Bonanza?

Good!

And now for your trip to fabulous Roma. Here is your question.

Now, we all know the legendary Douglas Fairbanks Sr. was married to America's

sweetheart, the legendary Mary Pickford. But what legendary movie star did the

legendary Douglas Fairbanks Jr.

marry?

Uh, uh, it was, uh... Mary Pickford Jr.? Why did you do that? I had the name

right on the tip of my tongue. Go on and say it. I can't think of it now, but I

can see her just as plain as day. Day? Doris Day?

Well, what's she look like? Oh, I don't know. I just see bushy eyebrows and big

padded shoulders.

Rosie Greer?

John Crawford!

John Crawford?

Elizabeth Bonanza Sweepstakes!

Oh, can you believe you expect us to go on? I bet we would.

Here's where I stand to win.

Yes, that's right. You warm your shoulders on those chilly Roman nights

full -length chinchilla coat designed and tailored by the renowned dentist of

Venice.

Chinchilla. And to compliment your coat... This stunning jeweled necklace

diamonds by Maury of Amsterdam.

Vivienne, diamonds.

No, no, no, no. And you look praised one day in your diamonds and furs lounging

on the deck of your 36 -foot ocean -going cabin cruiser. It's from Leisure

and it's a Jacques Cousteau autographed model.

Vivienne. Vivienne.

feeling our two ladies from Tuckahoe, Illinois, want to continue.

We'll go on. You go on.

All right. All right. All right, ladies. Now, you have 15 seconds in which to

answer. We are about to show you a picture of an infant who was the famous

trademark of a baby foo.

This baby grew up to be a famous Hollywood movie star. Now, for the trip

Rome, the fur, the diamonds, the yacht, and all the other prizes, name that.

That baby!

Tell him!

Tell him! Who is it? Who is it?

Who is it? Who is it?

Who?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Oh, I'm sorry. I blew everything. Oh, try, try.

It's no use. My mind's a blank. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't answer the

trick question.

Look at that face. That's not a baby food baby.

That's Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey Bogart?

my life, and I'm so thankful that I can share it with you.

Hands off!

It's mine. I want it, and I deserve it. All right, Maude, if you get the coat,

Vivian gets that necklace. No! No, no, no. The diamonds are mine. She has all

the jewelry she needs. All I have is one lousy wedding ring.

You kept them all, Piggy. No!

Mr.

Bellamy, I can't tell you how happy you've made us all.

It's empty. My last bottle of scotch and it's empty.

Why would you want a drink? You have another show to do in a few minutes.

Because it's the only way I can go out there and face those animals.

What animals?

The contestants.

People like you.

Hey, that's my wife. That's your problem.

You don't know what it's like for me.

smiling and waving and being Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm an actor.

I'm a well -trained dramatic actor. I could have had a role with dignity, a

with some class.

I came this close to getting the lead in Holmes and Yo -Yo.

Randy!

Oh, sweetheart, thank you for the ticket.

This is my nephew, Randy, who got us the ticket.

Oh, bless you, Randy.

You're responsible for all of this, Vivian, given your chain -link fence.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This usher, Randy, is your nephew?

That's right.

Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

Dwayne, please relieve the lady from Pennsylvania of her chinchilla coat and

diamond neck.

Dwayne, Dwayne, don't send them to Pennsylvania.

Tuckahoe's in New York. Oh, we're not going to send them anywhere.

You're disqualified.

What? That's right.

No contestant can be related to any employee on our show. Those are the

You mean we can't keep any of the prizes?

That's right, say, you catch on pretty fast. You'd make a pretty good

on a game show. Come on, Randy.

Well, you see, sometimes you beat the devil and sometimes the devil beats you.

Oh.

This is all my fault.

I was the one who put us through all this. No, it's my fault. I got the

No, Vivian, I was greedy.

I've had just like every other game show contestant.

Oh, it's hell to realize that inside each and every one of us is a little man

a pizza suit screaming to get out.

Oh, but come on. Now, let's not forget why we came to New York today in the

first place. I mean, we came for a very special, very important reason.

Why the hell did we come to New York?

It's not.

We came because it was my birthday.

Of course.

You forgot it was my birthday.

Oh, good.

One more time. Come on. Happy birthday.