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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,020 Lady Godiva was a freedom rider. 2 00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:10,240 She didn't care if the whole world looked. 3 00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:16,460 Joan of Arc was the Lord to guide her. She was a sister who really could. 4 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:22,880 Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't you glad she showed up? 5 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,440 Oh, yeah. 6 00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:26,820 The country was falling apart. 7 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,520 Betsy Ross got it all sewed up. 8 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,220 And then there's more. 9 00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,250 And then there's Maud. 10 00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:38,950 And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then 11 00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:44,210 there's Maud. And then there's Maud. That uncompromising, enterprising, 12 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:50,330 but tranquilizing. Happy holiday. 13 00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:53,670 Happy holiday. 14 00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:59,150 Oh, Walter, this is the best second honeymoon I ever had. 15 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:02,780 And better than two of my first honeymoons. 16 00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,620 And it's not over yet, Mort. 17 00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:10,240 The night is young in your soul. Please, Walter, don't spoil it. 18 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,600 Don't think, Mort, we got the rest of the night all to ourselves. 19 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,600 Nobody's home but you and me. 20 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,040 Just you and me. 21 00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:21,420 And me. 22 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:30,230 Mrs. Nogatuck, I thought you were next door helping Vivian out with her party. 23 00:01:30,430 --> 00:01:31,550 The party's over. 24 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:32,930 It's only 11 .30. 25 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:35,070 Another one of Vivian's dull affairs. 26 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,290 It was rather like one of those progressive parties. 27 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,830 As the evening wore on, it got progressively duller. 28 00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:47,130 Well, looks like our party's over, too. 29 00:01:47,990 --> 00:01:52,970 Uh, Mrs. Nogatuck, I don't think we'll be needing you anymore this evening, so 30 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:54,490 why don't you go out on the town? 31 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,660 What? At midnight in Tuckahoe? 32 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:58,980 Oh, come on. 33 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:03,740 Tell me, Mrs. Nogatuck, is Carol back from the party, too? No, she went with 34 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:04,940 date to get some coffee. 35 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:09,259 You see, some places are still open in Tuckahoe. They had to go to Yonkers. 36 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:13,420 That's right, Walter. Yonkers swings like the pendulum do. 37 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:19,640 Mum, there's something I think you should know. 38 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,500 Mum, you remember that... 39 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,420 Punchbowl, you loathe the hormones. 40 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,600 Well, of course I do. 41 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,860 Well, it got chipped at the party. 42 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:33,960 Chipped? 43 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:39,940 My priceless, Waterford, antique, crystal punchbowl that's been in my 44 00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:41,160 generations, how chipped? 45 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,160 Well, ma 'am... How chipped? 46 00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:46,680 How chipped? 47 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,620 How chipped? 48 00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:50,280 Well... How chipped? 49 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,460 When I was a little girl, I broke my mama doll. 50 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,300 It used to go, mama, mama. 51 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:58,120 One day I dropped it. The head broke into a million pieces. 52 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,000 No more mama, mama. 53 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:09,020 I cried for three days and three nights. And when I was all cried out, my 54 00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:14,200 mother, who was very wise, took me and put me on her knee. And she said, Maude. 55 00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:19,440 You know, a doll is only a possession, and possessions are meaningless. 56 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,180 And you know something? 57 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:22,840 My mother was wrong. 58 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:58,210 A scuffle, hear a crash, and not know exactly how it happened. 59 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:03,570 Were you at the party, Mum? Well, you know I wasn't. Well, then I heard 60 00:05:03,810 --> 00:05:07,850 saw a scuffle, heard a crash. Mum! Mum! 61 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:09,550 Mum! Mum! 62 00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:15,050 Maud, Maud, Maud, be calm. 63 00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:18,810 Remember, Maud, this is our second honeymoon. 64 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,090 Oh, shut up, you sex maniac. 65 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,720 King's men. 66 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:37,020 Can't put back your antique Waterford crystal punch bowl to go. 67 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,520 Oh, thank you, Walter. 68 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:40,940 That's sweet. 69 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:44,180 If my bowl wasn't broken, I'd throw up in it. 70 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,440 Thank the Lord for small mercies. 71 00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,620 Come on, honey. 72 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:54,180 Maud, look at me. 73 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,180 Sweetheart, 74 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,240 first thing tomorrow we'll go out and get another one, I promise. And who 75 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,920 You may even like it better. 76 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,640 Oh, thank you, darling. 77 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:09,180 And I'm sorry I threw that silly tantrum. I mean, this is our second 78 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:12,880 Let's go upstairs. 79 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,500 Good night, Mrs. Norris. 80 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,040 See you in the morning. 81 00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:30,190 who should be spending the night here after your shameful behavior. Oh, pooey. 82 00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:31,310 Now listen, baby. Oh, poo. 83 00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,230 I've told you 50 times, nothing happened. 84 00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:35,089 Good evening. 85 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,090 Shut up. 86 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:40,970 That's right, Walter. Be quiet. This really sounds juicy. Go ahead. 87 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,470 Well, Arthur's an old fogey. 88 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,850 The wife is always the last to know. 89 00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:52,490 You don't think Molly's going to let you stay here, do you, when she finds out 90 00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:53,810 that you broke her punch bowl? 91 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:07,410 Go ahead, Mrs. Naugatuck. 92 00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:08,650 Tell them everything. 93 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:12,910 All about my wife's shocking behavior and how the punch bowl got broken. 94 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,830 Well, I'm not quite sure how that happened. 95 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:19,510 Well, I am, and I'm going to tell it. No, you are not, because you will tell 96 00:07:19,510 --> 00:07:21,350 all wrong. I am going to tell it. Vivian! 97 00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,810 I am going to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. 98 00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:25,830 And I'm going to tell it first. 99 00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:30,650 Now, Vivian spent the entire night acting shamelessly. 100 00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:34,470 All because of some moose of a hockey player that Carol brought to the party 101 00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:35,470 her date. 102 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,840 Now, there was some stupid argument going on about women in sports, but 103 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,280 was so busy making cow eyes at the hockey player, she didn't even bother to 104 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,280 goodnight to the guests. 105 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,680 It was positively embarrassing. 106 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:57,100 What about, uh, Billie Jean King or, uh, Chris Everett or Babe Dedrickson? Now, 107 00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,720 now, those are all exceptions to the rule. Goodnight. 108 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:01,660 Goodnight, all. 109 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,240 Oh, Doctor, would you mind very much if I asked you to see me to my door? 110 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,900 I'm exhausted. I want to retire. 111 00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:09,899 Of course. 112 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,240 All the guests will be gone in a moment, and then it'll be my pleasure. 113 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:19,420 By the way, Doctor, it looks as if your wife is undressing that handsome hockey 114 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:20,800 player with her eyes. 115 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,280 That's all right, Mrs. Nogatuck. Don't worry. 116 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,060 She's not doing it with her hands. 117 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:35,059 I'm sorry you have to leave so early. Oh, buddy, we really got to fly. Can't 118 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:36,580 stay a little longer? We really do. 119 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,760 I mean, we really do have to fly. 120 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,360 Oh. Good night. 121 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:47,500 Well, Carol, I'm just saying that women can't possibly compete with men in 122 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:52,040 contact sports simply because of the male physical superiority. 123 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,359 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 124 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,600 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 125 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,220 Do you care to prove it? 126 00:09:02,170 --> 00:09:03,670 I'll count to three. 127 00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:11,450 I don't believe this. It's like watching an X -rated Sesame Street. 128 00:09:12,850 --> 00:09:18,310 I said, do you care to Peru it? 129 00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:33,690 There is one contact sport that women are as good at, if not better, than men. 130 00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,930 And I don't mean tiddlywinks. 131 00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:39,030 Wow. 132 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,850 Now, put me down. 133 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:43,790 Slowly. 134 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,840 My sweet pet. 135 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,680 If it's brute strength that appeals to you, get a load of these apples. 136 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,120 Hunk of man. 137 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,100 Coming with me? 138 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,420 You can help me scrape off my dirty dishes. 139 00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:57,980 Arthur, are you just going to stand there and let him scrape off her Melmac? 140 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:00,920 Oh, Arthur. 141 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,260 Oh, poor, sweet, dear... 142 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,800 Thank you, Carol. 143 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,380 I appreciate your support. 144 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:14,440 Oh, Doctor, I'm so sorry. But in my book, you're still king of the house. 145 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:20,400 Arthur. And if I were you, Your Majesty, I'd go right in there and stop the 146 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,200 queen before she becomes a queen mother. 147 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,920 Don't you want to kiss me? 148 00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:32,560 Oh, yes, I want to kiss you, but what about your husband? 149 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,400 You can kiss him later. 150 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,230 Don't waste time laughing. 151 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:41,370 Mrs. 152 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:46,770 Nogatuck, I've got to do the manly thing. Oh, please, Dr. 153 00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:49,490 Harmon. Arthur, I'm being attacked. 154 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,750 Or vice versa. 155 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,630 Now, look, Arthur, sir. 156 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:55,090 You see here the hands of a surgeon. 157 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,770 It would be tragic if they should be damaged. 158 00:11:58,430 --> 00:11:59,430 But what the heck? 159 00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:00,770 Sorry, Carol. 160 00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:18,840 Now then, Mrs. Nogatuck, is that or is that not the way it happened? Exactly. 161 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,200 It's the God's honest truth. 162 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:22,640 Oh, it is not. 163 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:26,340 Mrs. Nogatuck, how can you agree with him when you know he's lying? 164 00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:27,660 Me? Lie? 165 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,360 Vivian, I'm a doctor. 166 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,700 Don't look at me. You all know my reputation for veracity. 167 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,640 And every time you tell the truth, you ruin your reputation. 168 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,340 Can't we sleep on it? I know what you're thinking, Walter, and the answer is no. 169 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:56,460 Now, Vivian, that bowl has been in my family for over 80 years. Now it is 170 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,360 thanks to you and that mad fling you had with that raunchy hockey player. 171 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,620 Oh, Maude, please listen to me. 172 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:06,400 Do you want to know what really happened at the party? I mean, what really, 173 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,760 really, really... Well, why else would I be sitting here when I could be 174 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,700 upstairs having the time of Walter's life? 175 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:16,800 Now, tell your story. 176 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,540 Now, Maude, I'm going to tell you what really happened at the party. I have 177 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,280 told her. Yes, but you lied. 178 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:34,440 I'm going to tell the truth. Now, Maude, I can't help it if men find me so 179 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:35,840 attractive at these parties. 180 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:41,890 particularly Carol's date, but it just drives Arthur insane with jealousy, and 181 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,050 that makes him terribly nasty. 182 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:48,030 Well, so there I was trying to be a good hostess by conversing with our 183 00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:52,790 remaining guests while Arthur was barking goodnight to those who were 184 00:13:56,270 --> 00:14:00,810 What about Billie Jean King or Chris Everett? Well, what about Maeve 185 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,870 Isn't she cute? 186 00:14:03,450 --> 00:14:06,130 Don't you know those are exceptions to the rule? Good night. 187 00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:07,370 Good night! 188 00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:09,030 And good riddance to bad rubbish. 189 00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,810 Oh, Dr. Harmon. What the hell do you want, Nogatuck? 190 00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:19,970 Well, if you don't have that attitude, you better just see me to my door, 191 00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:20,970 you? 192 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:28,490 that's undressing your wife with his eyes. 193 00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:31,250 I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. She's only trying to make me jealous. 194 00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,350 Doctor, we've really got to fly. 195 00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:37,150 Well, then fly, you old buzzard. 196 00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:39,890 Good night. 197 00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:45,930 Oh, 198 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:53,090 come on. Women can't possibly compete with men in a contact sport simply 199 00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,290 of the male physical. 200 00:14:56,220 --> 00:15:00,120 Oh, yeah, prove it. I thought you'd never ask. 201 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,040 I don't believe it. What is this, Jock and Jill? 202 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,020 I'd just like to see him try. 203 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:12,980 Okay. 204 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,880 Hey, 205 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:19,400 there is one contact sport that women are as good at, if not better, than men. 206 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,520 And I don't mean tiddlywinks. 207 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,400 Bingo. 208 00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,070 This is too much. 209 00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:32,510 Well, if Vivian will allow that. 210 00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,290 Get a load of these apples. 211 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,730 Your apples must have put on weight. 212 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,420 I get more support from my suppos. 213 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,860 And you claim to be king of the household. 214 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,260 Well, if you won't save your queen from that puck chaser, I will. 215 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,200 Oh, you don't want to kiss me. 216 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,420 Oh, don't I? 217 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,740 Why are you laughing like that? 218 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,450 I think he beats you to it. 219 00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:43,210 Arthur, I'm being attacked. 220 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:44,930 Or vice versa. 221 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,310 Now look, Arthur. 222 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:48,710 You see here the hands of a surgeon. 223 00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:51,330 It would be tragic if they should be damaged. 224 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:52,650 But what the hell? 225 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:53,750 I don't care. 226 00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:54,869 I don't care. 227 00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:56,050 I don't care what happens. 228 00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:09,510 And that's exactly the way it happened. 229 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,609 Isn't it, Mrs. Nogatuck? 230 00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:15,069 Exactly. That's the God's honest truth. 231 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:18,690 This is an outrage. 232 00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:22,290 Mrs. Nogatuck, she's lying and you know it. 233 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:23,829 Exactly. 234 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,609 That's the God's honest truth. 235 00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:30,370 I don't understand this. First you say you don't remember. 236 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:34,130 Then you say Arthur is right. Now you say Vivian is right. How could that 237 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:36,490 possibly be? I'll tell it like it is. 238 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,530 Mrs. Naugatuck, you know what you're full of? 239 00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:41,210 What? Contradictions. 240 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,570 Enough to cover our lawn. 241 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:55,410 Now, look, we're not getting anywhere, so why can't we all sleep on it? Will 242 00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:56,590 get your mind out of the gutter? 243 00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:04,670 Tell us, Mrs. Naugatuck. You stick to your story. You tell us the truth. But 244 00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:05,670 aren't... 245 00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:19,630 Well, there's no use in going on all night about this. It was just one of 246 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:22,450 things. Right, Lambchop? Right, right. We just may as well go on. 247 00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:26,170 Excuse me, I'm very tired. Hold it! 248 00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:29,570 The first one who moves has to take me on first. 249 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,090 Not you, Walter. 250 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:41,950 Now, no one is going to leave until I find out exactly who broke my punch 251 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:45,430 Now, Carol, tell us, what did happen at Vivian's house tonight? Oh, but we don't 252 00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:46,349 want to... We don't want to react. 253 00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:47,350 Quiet! 254 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,039 And Mrs. 255 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,380 Nogatuck was your punch bowl, or what was in it. 256 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:05,360 Jim and I were discussing women in sports, and, uh, Arthur was saying 257 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,359 to the guests. 258 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,940 And believe me, our three little friends here were feeling no pain. 259 00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:13,580 Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 260 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:21,200 What about... What about Billie Jean King or Chris... Oh, oh, Babe 261 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,000 Dedrickson. Now, now, those are all exceptions to the rule. Oh, Jim. 262 00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,110 Good night, folksy! 263 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,330 I'll go and join them. 264 00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:01,870 Oh, do you really have to go so early? We have to. 265 00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:03,110 Arthur. Huh? 266 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:04,430 You're fly. 267 00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:05,650 What? 268 00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:22,970 possibly compete with men in contact sports simply because of their the male 269 00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:26,430 physical superiority i bet you're afraid to prove it curly locks 270 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,760 In the dark alley. 271 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,520 If he ignores you. 272 00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,230 I appreciate your support. 273 00:22:12,570 --> 00:22:18,230 I think I'll go and see how Queen Vivian is getting on with King Kong. 274 00:22:22,570 --> 00:22:24,090 Don't you want to kiss me? 275 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,470 Oh, come on now, Mrs. Arman, you're loaded. 276 00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:27,890 I'm not going to kiss you. 277 00:22:28,190 --> 00:22:32,290 Oh, don't laugh at me. No! 278 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:53,700 think it was vice versa now look arthur you see here the hands of a surgeon it 279 00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:57,100 would be tragic if they should be damaged now arthur i think there's 280 00:22:57,100 --> 00:22:58,100 it's okay fella 281 00:23:38,030 --> 00:23:39,030 all be ashamed of yourselves. 282 00:23:39,490 --> 00:23:43,030 Arthur lies because he thinks it's a crime for a man to be afraid. 283 00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:47,390 Vivian lies because she feels it's a disgrace for a woman to be rejected. 284 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:52,030 And Mrs. Naugatuck lies because of a little strange quirk in her personality. 285 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:53,250 She always lies. 286 00:23:56,150 --> 00:23:58,630 And that's the God's only strength. 287 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:07,290 Well, there's no use crying over my punch bowl. It's gone. 288 00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,680 We might just as well forget about it. I forgive you. 289 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,800 Oh, I'm for that. 290 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,380 Oh, thank you, Marty. You really are a great lady. 291 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,520 Oh, you're big, Maude, really big. 292 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,340 I prefer great. 293 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:28,140 Maude, I've got to hand it to you. You really are a terrific person, forgiving 294 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:29,600 everyone. Everyone but you. 295 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,380 Me? It's all your fault. If it hadn't been for you and your lust. 296 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,460 I wouldn't have spent the weekend locked up in that sleazy motel room on the 297 00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:39,460 outskirts of town. 298 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,700 I would have been over at Vivian's house looking out for my priceless Waterford 299 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:47,280 antique crystal punch bowl that has been in my family for generations. 300 00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:24,610 Maud was taped in Hollywood before a live audience. 22603