All language subtitles for Maude s02e07 Maude Takes a Job

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And then there's my...

And then there's Maud.

And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then

there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
That uncompromising, enterprising,

but tranquilizer. Not on Maud.

Now, wait a minute, Florida. What do you
mean she's out? Will you stop yelling

at me, Mr. Farrell? I'm not yelling. And
if I am yelling, I'm sorry.

I mean, believe me, the last thing in
the world I wanted to make you mad at

Well, if that's the last thing you want.

Then you ain't got nothing to look
forward to because you have just reached

goal.

Well, I'm sick and tired of coming home
and never finding more here.

What about a phone call, a message? She
must have said something to you,

Florida. To the best of my recollection,
she ain't told me nothing.

And anything I might add would be
hearsay.

So what kind of an answer is that?

Well, I figured if it worked for
Watergate, it'll work for me.

Don't go blaming me. I didn't give Mrs.
Finley no real estate license.

Well, neither did I.

For the last three weeks, she's never
been home.

She's always out trying to sell a house
someplace.

What's that?

That is your dinner that Mrs. Finley
prepared with her own two hands.

Green noodle surprise.

Green noodle surprise? It smells awful.

Yeah, but it smells better than it
tastes.

That's the surprise, Clive.

Florida, I've had the world's worst day,
and I need a woman.

A woman who can give me comfort and
affection and some tender, loving care.

Well, who did you?

Florida, I can serve myself.

Go get your bus. Oh, great.

And if I hurry, I can still catch the
day worker section of the ghetto flyer.

Son to son. But woman's work is never
done.

Arthur, go away.

What did you do, burn yourself?

No, I didn't burn myself. I always
butter my finger before dinner.

You shouldn't put butter on a burn.

That needs a doctor's attention.

All gone.

I swear, I saw a science fiction movie
last night, and that very stuff was

over the earth.

Walter! Honey, I'm home!

Walter, wait!

For heaven's sake, fix your hair.

She doesn't want to come home to a
household drudge.

Knock it off, Walter.

Walter. Walter, Walter, I think I have
sold my first house. Hey!

The Kaplan's seem like truly motivated
buyers.

Because I won't really know until
tomorrow morning. But, Walter, if I sell

house, I make $932 in commission.

If this keeps up, we can move into a
bigger place.

I'll sell it to you.

Congratulations, Marty.

$932. That's not bad for a woman.

Listen, Arthur, for your information,
women are holding their...

in every profession.

This in spite of the fact that the only
encouragement you've given us is in the

world's oldest profession.

Which, incidentally, Arthur, you
couldn't make a nickel at.

Really? I could have been a midnight
cowboy, you know.

I just don't like to stay up that late.

Everybody's talking at me.

Forget about Arthur and let me have my
dinner.

you upset about something?

Upset? Do I look like a man who's upset?

Oh, come on now, Walter. With that look
on your face, you're either upset or

you're suffering a massive attack of
trapped gas bubbles.

You had a bad day, didn't you, dear?

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I've been
so busy talking about my day, I didn't

even think to ask you about yours.

Sweetheart, how was your day?

Well, you know, the first house I showed
the captain, it was so embarrassing.

We were in the bathroom and I flushed
the john, you know, to show them that it

worked. And it worked.

And it worked. And it worked. And it
worked. And it worked. And all I could

think of to say was, my, aren't we
lucky? My cup runneth over.

You were saying?

Not now, Walter. I'm expecting the
bungays.

That must be them. Oh, Walter, Walter,
I'm showing them the Connolly house down

the block.

Coming! I'm coming!

I'm coming!

Oh, Mr.

and Mrs.

Fungay, how terribly sweet of you to
meet me here instead of down at the

But this absolute dream of a house I'm
showing you is right around the corner.

Glad to do it, little lady. Anything to
get out of Llewitt. Oh, I know.

Oh,

this house is adorable.

Look how I just love that staircase.

Oh, yeah.

Hey,

hey, look, look.

They don't build their cases like this
anymore. No, they don't. I was so lucky

it came with the stairs.

I just love this place.

I don't suppose, Mrs. Finley, that this
house is for sale.

Well, as we in the trade always say,
Mrs. Bungay, any house is for sale at

right price.

Mrs. Finley, I'm in meat.

Believe me, I've got the right price.

Now look at the dining room, Howard.

Oh, will you excuse me?

Hello?

No, this is not Mr. Findlay. This is
Mrs. Findlay.

Yeah, yeah, thank you. You have a
clarion voice, too.

Are you Tudor House on Simmons?

Let's look at the kitchen. Oh, Mrs.

Bungay, wait!

We're just looking.

Go right on in. Howard, I just adore
this kitchen. Yeah, they don't make

kitchens like this anymore.

How much is Miss Finley asking for this
house?

This house is not for sale. Oh.

But we... If you want to buy something,
how would you like to buy this?

What?

Walter, that's no way to invite people
to dinner. I'm terrible at that.

Mrs. Finley...

He's got a lot to learn about being a
host. Oh, I'm very sorry. No, Mort, I'm

sorry. I'm sorry you ever got your real
estate license. Get him out!

Look, I'm going to show you the Connelly
house. You'll love it.

I want to thank you for your help,
Walter. And just so that you don't think

ungrateful, from now on, darling, your
love life is going to be about as

exciting as a rerun of the Donna Reed
show.

a minute. Oh, and please excuse my
husband.

We think it's a calcium deficiency.

Congratulations,

Walter. If you wanted this to be the
single most humiliating moment of my

you succeeded.

Have you gone completely bananas trying
to sell this house? Oh, come on, Walter.

You know darn well I have no intention
of selling this house. It was just a

sales ploy.

And believe me, after a hard day at the
office, I don't have to come home to

this. I come home three nights this week
and I got nobody to listen to but

myself. You must get a lot of sleep that
way.

Walter, how about me? When you work late
at the office and I am alone, do I

complain? Everybody expects a man to
work late. That happens.

Ah, that's man's work, isn't it? That's
right. And the other things, the cooking

and the sewing and the cleaning, that's
woman's work. Yes.

Walter, I want more of that.

I need more than that.

Maud Findlay, Walter, who never
accomplished anything in the outside

she could be proud of, has won her real
estate license.

You also got a marriage license, Maud. I
know, Walter. And so do 300 girls in

Kentucky who are nine years old.

Will you please do me a favor, Walter,
and get off my...

I'm trying to discuss this now because I
have to go. I'm not taking this lying

down. There,

you see what you just made?

You made a lamp.

Now, let me show you something, boy.

When I've had a horrible day at the
store and I come home at night, my head

needs this lamp.

Walter, I know you have needs, but I
have needs too.

Walter, my real estate license says
Maude Findlay. It doesn't say Mrs.

Walter Findlay.

Walter, the state of New York has
actually recognized me as a human being.

And those people out there recognize me
as a human being.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, I have to take my lap with
me.

I know that you have needs, Maude.

But I have a few needs, too. And as your
husband, I also have a few rights.

It's finally coming out, isn't it?

Lighting up the sky with a huge sign.

This world for men only.

Listen.

I'm a man 50 years old with a certain
pattern to his life. Living with a woman

who fits into that pattern. And if you
want to change that pattern, you better

tell me. And tell me right now. Because
it's the Bungays or me.

Honey, you know there's no choosing
between you and the Bungays.

Walter, I love you.

You're my life, Walter.

I'd be nothing without you.

And darling, I'm going to prove it to
you.

Just as soon as I finish showing that
house.

times do I have to call you?

What do you want? It's two o 'clock in
the morning.

Carol, when you were a baby, I never
complained when you used to wake me up

your two o 'clock feeding.

Your four o 'clock feeding.

When you're six o 'clock, eight o
'clock. All right.

Even Mark Spitz can't drink that much.

Okay, so now you're leaving. It's two o
'clock in the morning. Walter is not

here. He hasn't phoned. There's no
message. I have to talk to somebody.

Oh, maybe it's with Arthur. No, I phoned
Arthur and he hasn't seen him all

night.

There's something else, Carol.

I went through Walter's closet and that
dark brown double -breasted sports

jacket is missing.

The one that makes him look like Cesar
Romero.

When I've been drinking.

Carol, how can you sleep at a time like
this?

With your voice, it isn't easy.

Mother, I'm sure Walter is all right.
How long has he been gone? Five and a

hours, Carol, since I left with the
Bungays.

I'm going to call the police and report
him missing.

I'm using that special emergency number
they tell you to use when you need help

in a hurry.

Busy.

Who the hell could they be calling?

Operator, would you get me the police,
please?

Oh, Carol, Walter's just got to be all
right.

Hello? Yes, hello, officer. I'd like to
report a missing person.

My number, 555 -9060.

Walter Findley.

D, with a D, yeah.

50, 5 '10 1⁄2", dark brown eyes, and a
small bald spot that's only noticeable

from the top of the stairs.

No, this is not his boyfriend. This is
his wife.

anything like this. He could be lying
somewhere in a gutter.

Or worse.

Mother, look, there must be some
explanation. Now, didn't Walter say

Nothing, nothing. He said nothing,
Carol. Oh, he did say something. How did

put it? I don't know. Something about
it's either my job or him.

What? Mother, that's an ultimatum.
That's blackmail. Who cares about that?

difference does it make? The man is
missing, Carol.

Who cares what he said? Who cares where
he's been? Oh, dear God.

Walter,

I asked you a question. Where have you
been?

And I told you, out. Out? What kind of
an answer is that?

It's very simple, Maud. From now on,
when I come home and you're not here,

I go out.

Walter, am I hearing right?

Are you trying to blackmail me into
quitting my job?

Yes.

Walter, let's compromise.

Let's compromise. I'll tell you, I
promise not to work so many nights and

work so many weekends.

Nights and weekends.

Maud, when do real estate people do most
of their business?

Nights and weekends.

Sweetheart, whatever happened to the
strength of our relationship, Walter? My

love for you and your marvelous
readiness to give in.

quality you must never lose.

I'm tired, Maud.

Walter, why must I be the one to always
give in? Maud, I tried it your way, but

I just can't hack it.

I'm an old -fashioned man who needs an
old -fashioned marriage, and that's the

way it's got to be.

All right.

All right.

All right, all right, all right, Walter.
You win. I'll quit my job.

Maud, you mean that? Yes, Walter.

I'll do what women have done down
through history. I'll surrender to save

marriage. But why, I don't know, Walter,
because right now I hate that marriage

more than anything I can think of.

But don't worry, Walter.

I'll try to be the perfect wife.

I'll be here every afternoon at five to
make a lap for your head.

I do have one standard of sweetheart.

If you'll let me out of the house just
one more day.

I'd like to have my feet bound.

Lord. Kung fu.

Matt, can you live here this morning,
Mother?

I'm deliriously happy.

I keep laughing hysterically, except I
read somewhere it gives you wrinkles.

I'm late. I've got to get to work.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I've got to get to work.

You had to rub it in, didn't you?

Young, attractive daughter goes off to a
fascinating job while old, used -up

housewife stays at home waiting for
Tarzan to come downstairs.

advantage of these years, Carol.

Oh, good morning, Ward.

Good morning, my darling.

About last night. Oh, sweetheart, not
another word, you old poopy -doo.

Come, sweetheart. Sit down. Well, the
perfect wife.

Serves the perfect breakfast to the
perfect husband.

Oh, man can't ask for anything more than
that.

Your glass of sunshine tree.

Here's your favorite omelet.

And the bacon done to a munchy, crunchy
crispness just the way you love it. Mmm.

Raisin toast, lightly buttered.

Oh, and sweetheart, incidentally, before
you go, I want to warm your coat.

Poopy doo.

Can I have some marmalade? But of
course, my darling.

You know what I felt a little bad about
last night?

Especially after we went upstairs and
you wanted to sleep at the foot of the

bed.

and suggest that you work a couple of
hours a week at the store.

I could always find something to keep
you busy.

Something to keep me busy?

You silly Billy!

You know I have more than enough work to
do right here. That's right.

By the way, sweetheart, I made a list of
some things that I thought you might

like me to do for you today.

Let's see. Pick up your suits and jacket
from the cleaners.

Get a new nozzle for your water pig.

The kitchen chairs?

The kitchen chairs? Of course, you've
been after me for six weeks to paint

I already bought the paint.

If you can find time, I'd like you to
take my brown shoes to the shoemaker.

Oh, of course, darling. And after that,
I'll clean the mud off your golf club.

Well, you don't have to overdo it. And
then fix the fly on your jumpsuit.

But you don't have to paint the chairs.
Don't be ridiculous, darling.

too much for a woman when it comes to
her capital, M -A -N.

You don't have to paint the chairs now.
You want me to paint the chairs now,

Walter? Your every wish is my command.

There's something I wanted to tell you.

The Kaplans are buying the house?

Walter, the Kaplans are buying... Yes,
yes, Mr. Curtis. It's

very exciting to have made my first
commission.

You have a hot prospect?

No, I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis, but I can't.

No, not today.

And not tomorrow either.

Now, you see, Mr.

Curtis, I'm quitting my job.

I'm retiring.

You see, my husband and I came to a
decision.

Oh, no, no, no. No, Mr. Curtis, it's the
happiest decision I've ever made in my

life.

Now, I'd be laughing hysterically, only
I hear it gives you wrinkles.

Oh, uh, Mr. Curtis, would you send me my
business

cards?

You're the ones with my own name on
them.

Maude Finley.

In case I ever get amnesia, I'll know
who I am.

Thank you, Mr. Curtis.

Thank you for giving me this chance.

Thank you, too, for wanting me.

All right, Mullet, call him back.

Call him back.

I don't understand.

Neither do I.

You mean you want me to work?

No, I don't want you to work, but
watching you on the phone just now, I

remembered something I learned at
school.

I forget exactly how it went, but the
idea was...

A person's happy only when he's doing
his own thing and doing it well.

I guess that goes as much for women as
it does for men.

Walter.

Walter, Walter, I promise you will never
be sorry I'm working. And, Walter, now

that we have finally faced this problem,
it's behind us.

That's right, Maud.

It's behind us.

And ahead of us.

To the left of us.

To the right of us.

All over us.

Later. Of Florida, I had the most
terrible day.

Maud was recorded on tape before a live
audience.