subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Breakfast.Of.Champions.1999.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek Download

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian Download

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:06,374 [upbeat music playing] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:13,214 [wolf howling] 5 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,687 [energetic music playing] 6 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,565 [birds chirping] 7 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,568 [monkeys hooting] 8 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,679 [birds chirping] 9 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,389 [monkeys hooting] 10 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,662 [birds chirping] 11 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,665 [monkeys hooting] 12 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,244 [monkeys hooting] 13 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,147 [birds chirping] 14 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,559 [monkeys hooting] 15 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,462 [birds chirping] 16 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,071 [birds chirping] 17 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,475 [monkeys hooting] 18 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,778 [energetic music continuing] 19 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,782 [birds tweeting and chirping] 20 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:04,057 [birds tweeting and chirping] 21 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,038 -[monkeys hooting] -Hey, folks, it's me, 22 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,640 Dwayne Hoover, slashing prices 'cause we're going bananas 23 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,074 down here for Hawaiian week. 24 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:23,010 Come on down to Exit 11 Motor Village, 25 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,845 and I'm gonna slash some prices just for you! 26 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,982 Hey. Ask anybody. You can trust Dwayne Hoover. 27 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:35,356 [channels changing] 28 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,359 [man on TV] ...deadly germ Anthrax for use as a weapon... 29 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,994 -I...I... -Is there something you wanted 30 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,030 -to say? -I'm sorry. 31 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,164 Sorry? 32 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,333 [man on TV] Sorry I made us order 33 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,668 the pepperoni and anchovies. 34 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,170 [woman] Your breakfast, Mrs. Hoover. 35 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,240 [announcer on TV] When your stomach is under attack, 36 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,575 fight back with maximum-strength tri-peptid. 37 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,843 [birds chirping] 38 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,811 Now available in new orange flavor. 39 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,882 Soothing, fast relief, naturally. 40 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,485 So, now how do you feel? 41 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,856 [heavy breathing] ["Stranger in Paradise" playing] 42 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:15,162 -* Take my hand * -[watch ticking] 43 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:20,334 * I'm a stranger in paradise * 44 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:26,474 * I'm lost in a wonderland * 45 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:32,280 -* A stranger in paradise * -[heavy breathing continues] 46 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:37,451 * If I stand starry-eyed * 47 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:44,091 * That's a danger in paradise * 48 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,158 [gun cocking] 49 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,729 * A mortal to stand beside * 50 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,100 -* An angel like you * -[woman] Mr. Hoover, 51 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,202 breakfast of champions! 52 00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,707 -[food sizzling] -Breakfast of champions, 53 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,174 Mr. Hoover. 54 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,144 [woman on TV] Because some things 55 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:08,181 are too important to trust to just anybody. 56 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,850 [man] Coming up, right after these messages. 57 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,420 [gun clicks] 58 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,098 -[mysterious music] -[Dwayne whistling] 59 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,301 Great news, people, today is not the day. 60 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,603 -Hello, Lottie. -Hello, sir. 61 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,672 White shoulders, you know I love it. 62 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,107 [mysterious music] 63 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,376 Dwayne... 64 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,078 -The poison bubbles almost won. -[water bubbling] 65 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,481 [echoing] The poison bubbles. 66 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,583 The poison bubbles almost won. 67 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,453 Talk to me. Please. 68 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:50,223 Well, Hawaiian week down at the showroom. 69 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:54,061 -Ah! I saw your ad on TV, yes. -[birds chirping] 70 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,796 Please say something. 71 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,498 Well, what should I say? 72 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,867 [Lottie] Anything you feel like saying, you're Dwayne Hoover! 73 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,869 People know who you are, don't they? 74 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,774 That's right, Lottie, they do know who I am. 75 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,511 -[chuckles] Who am I... [door closing] 76 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,546 Please. 77 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,483 [birds chirping] 78 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:19,887 [Dwayne speaking indistinctly on TV] 79 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,257 Are you sorry? 80 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:31,499 -You can trust Dwayne Hoover. -Sure. Sure, I'm sorry. 81 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:32,633 [TV continues] 82 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,803 -Sorry as heck. -Then say something. 83 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,606 What should I say, Celia? I mean, I'm just... 84 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,342 -I'm just looking for a... -[TV voice talking indistinctly] 85 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,511 [channel changes] 86 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:50,384 A sign. Anything, really, Celia. 87 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,353 -I mean... -[eerie music coming from TV] 88 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:58,826 All day long and... [chuckles] Not much, you know? I mean... 89 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,730 [laughing uneasily] 90 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:07,501 There are days when I just think, "Is it me or what?" 91 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,870 -What? -Yeah. 92 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:15,008 [gasps] I know what you can say, Dwayne. 93 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,043 What? 94 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,412 You can say, 95 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,314 -[TV] "Goodbye, Blue Monday." -"Goodbye, Blue Monday." 96 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,084 [woman on TV] I have never experienced 97 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,053 such safe, fast, and effective relief. 98 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:26,920 Oh. 99 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,856 With a laugh, I can finally say, 100 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,924 "Goodbye, Blue Monday." 101 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,761 -[birds chirping] -[Dwayne whistling] 102 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,796 [door closing] 103 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,566 [dog growling] 104 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:40,734 No, no. 105 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,270 No, no, Nippy. No, no. 106 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,472 Ow! 107 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,374 No, Nippy! I swear I'm armed! I'll shoot! 108 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,544 -[Nippy growling] -Hey, Nippy! 109 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,348 -[Dwayne shouting] -[Nippy whimpering] 110 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,554 [growling and barking] 111 00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,823 This is how dogs get themselves killed. 112 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,257 [car starting up] 113 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:08,161 [bouncy organ music playing] 114 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,738 [car wheels screeching] 115 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,648 [bouncy organ music continues] 116 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:32,119 * In oh so many ways * 117 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:35,088 * A wedding day * 118 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,758 * If I saw you on your wedding day * 119 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,330 [car engine revving] 120 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,866 [spiritual music playing] 121 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,202 [Eliot] Dear Mr. Kilgore Trout, 122 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,674 my name is Eliot Rosewater, 123 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,310 and this is a fan letter. 124 00:07:58,746 --> 00:07:59,947 [industrial whistle tooting] 125 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,882 Plague on Wheels is the greatest novel... 126 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,784 [Kilgore] " Plague on Wheels is the greatest novel 127 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,285 "in the English language. 128 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,120 "I promise to make you famous. 129 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,889 "You should be president of the United States." 130 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,758 What the hell! I mean, look at the handwriting. 131 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,126 -[Bill chirping] -Must be from a kid of 14. 132 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,195 "Promise to make you famous. " 133 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,730 My first fan letter ever, 134 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:20,400 and I'll show you what I'm gonna do with it. I'll... Watch this. 135 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:27,641 Two hundred novels, 2,000 short stories. 136 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,344 Never heard back from one publisher, not one, 137 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,616 except that wide-open beaver outfit, 138 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,718 and they didn't pay me doodley-squat. 139 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,653 And then I get a fan letter. 140 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,089 Well, I'll burn you out of my body bag. 141 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,192 I'll be glad when it's over. 142 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,397 [panting] 143 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,500 Can't wait till my head's as empty as the day I was born... 144 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,203 onto this damaged planet all those years ago... 145 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,606 Empty as a child's, 146 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,875 [violin music playing] 147 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,543 a very young child's. 148 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,049 That's why I wrote those stories, Bill. 149 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,550 [Bill chirping] 150 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:15,288 Get rid of all the junk that's built up over the years. 151 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,368 [upbeat music playing] 152 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,307 [Dwayne inner monologue] Hey, folks, it's me. 153 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:37,945 Dwayne Hoover. [echoing] 154 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,680 Hey, folks, it's me, Dwayne Hoover. 155 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:40,748 Dwayne Hoover. [echoing] 156 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:41,849 -[ad playing] -[monkeys hooting] 157 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,617 Dwayne Hoover. [echoing] 158 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,119 [echoing] 159 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,389 -[car engine revving] -[Harry] There he goes, Grace. 160 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,458 He's driving by the house because he knows. 161 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,861 -[exotic music playing] -I'm telling ya, Grace. 162 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,195 He knows. 163 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,465 He doesn't know a damn thing, Harry. 164 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,601 Now, will you please get over here and sit down. 165 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,407 [exotic music continuing] 166 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:11,311 I'm telling you, Grace, Dwayne Hoover... 167 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,081 Dwayne Hoover knows everything. 168 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,249 That is such bullshit. 169 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,652 [sighs] Dwayne Hoover doesn't know his son is a freak. 170 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,187 He doesn't know his wife is suicidal. 171 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,491 He doesn't know. Besides, who cares if Dwayne Hoover knows? 172 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,095 Oh, well... [chuckling] 173 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:33,500 I care, because I'm his sales manager, and I'm telling you 174 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,970 that Dwayne Hoover is saying and doing things he never used to. 175 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:40,607 [exotic music continuing] 176 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,609 [both sighing] 177 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,813 -[Grace] Come here, big boy. -[Harry] Grace, listen to me. 178 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,080 -I got somethin' you want. -I've known 179 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,482 Dwayne Hoover for over 21 years. 180 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:52,585 I know him the way a combat soldier knows his buddy. 181 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,621 Jesus, he knows me. 182 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,289 Harry, first of all, listen to me. 183 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,625 -You were never in the army. -[scoffs] 184 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,194 Second of all, we're the only people in this whole town 185 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,030 who have any kind of sex life. 186 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,299 -You should be proud. -[exotic music continuing] 187 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:10,370 Grace, I try, oh, but I can't. 188 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:15,142 Oh, Jesus. I'm the freak, not Dwayne Hoover. 189 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:19,747 Me! I mean, look. I got a sex problem. 190 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,349 I'll tell you who has a sex problem, Harry. 191 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,351 How many orgasms do you think Dwayne Hoover has a month, 192 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,120 -huh? Lift your skirt up. -[mysterious music playing] 193 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,256 I don't care how many times 194 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,124 -Dwayne Hoover comes a month. -I have 87, 195 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,392 and you have 36. 196 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,996 People like Dwayne Hoover have 1.5. 1.5, Harry. 197 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,898 Now, that is sick. 198 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,134 Let's move to Hawaii and get a condo in Maui 199 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,403 -like we've always wanted. -Oh, Grace, you know we can't. 200 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,405 I mean, think of my job. 201 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,175 Think how long it's taken me to become what I am. 202 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,377 Maui. 203 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,546 [exotic music playing] 204 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,049 Maui. 205 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,218 Maui. 206 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,221 Maui. 207 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,928 [man over loudspeaker] This is an emergency evacuation. 208 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,098 There is an environmental emergency. 209 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,634 [man continues speaking indistinctly] 210 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,003 -[car skidding] -[horn honks] 211 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,871 Hey! Get out of the car, asshole! 212 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:22,009 I'm gonna teach you a lesson-- why, you're Mr. Dwayne Hoover. 213 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,411 I bought my new car down at Exit 11 Motor Village. 214 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,880 -Where am I? -Oh, Sugar Creek Estates. 215 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,715 -What is happening here? -Oh, don't worry, Mr. Hoover. 216 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,550 Somebody just dumping sludge in the creek. 217 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,185 But the guys are gettin' it cleaned up. 218 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:33,720 You can go on through if you want to, 219 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,555 but keep it kinda slow for me, will ya, please? 220 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,557 -[tires screeching] -[man shouting] 221 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,627 [officer 2] Hey, you can't go there! I got your license plate! 222 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,962 [officer] That was Mr. Hoover from Exit 11. 223 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,463 Oh, I should have got his autograph. 224 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,099 Doggone it. My wife's never gonna believe that I did this. 225 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:54,241 -What's that? -Another special delivery. 226 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:58,778 Two in one week! You ain't dead yet, old man. Here you go. 227 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,887 [Fred] Dear Mr. Trout, 228 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,991 My name is Fred T. Barry, Chairman of the Arts Festival, 229 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,061 celebrating the opening of the Mildred T. Barry 230 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,829 Memorial Center for the Arts, 231 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,297 -in Midland City. -[cash register bell chiming] 232 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,233 It would be our most profound honor 233 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,636 for you to be one of our creative and distinguished 234 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:27,540 out-of-town participants. This check for 1,000 dollars 235 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,710 is for travel expenses and an honorarium. 236 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,948 Why all this sudden interest in Kilgore Trout, Bill, huh? 237 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,784 Some mistake's been made. No question. 238 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,720 Maybe they've invited me because they know I've got a tuxedo. 239 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,623 Ever show you my tuxedo, Bill, huh? Yeah. 240 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,825 If they really want Kilgore Trout, 241 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,996 they'll want him in a tuxedo. Ah. 242 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,099 [Bill chirping] 243 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,867 High school dance. 244 00:13:54,234 --> 00:14:00,107 Believe it or not, once even I was young, Bill. Me. 245 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,608 Hey. 246 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:04,444 Yeah, it's quite a good fit, huh? Hey, Bill, what is that? 247 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,913 ["Stranger in Paradise" playing] 248 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,747 [scatting] Cha, cha, cha. 249 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:11,484 [continues scatting] Cha, cha, cha. 250 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:16,023 -[continues singing] -[Bill chirping] 251 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,725 I'm too old for all that. 252 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,829 Why go all the way out to Midland City just 253 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,698 to make a laughingstock of myself? I'm my only fan. 254 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,367 [Bill chirping] 255 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,870 Anyway, if I went out there, I'd want to read... 256 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,872 out loud from my own stuff. 257 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,675 Means I'd have to go to those wide-open beaver bookshops... 258 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,477 and dig out some of my published work. 259 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,546 [mysterious music playing] 260 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,583 They don't want nothin' but smilers out there. 261 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,686 Unhappy failures need not apply. 262 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:52,425 Maybe unhappy failures is exactly what they should see. 263 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,394 Show those provincials 264 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,297 what nobody's ever seen before at an arts festival. 265 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,100 Someone who's devoted his entire life 266 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,434 searching for truth and beauty... 267 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,803 and didn't find doodley-squat. 268 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,439 The creator who's failed and failed and failed. 269 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,176 Think there's anybody in Midland City 270 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,944 who'd listen to a cockroach like that, Bill? 271 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:14,647 -Anybody at all, huh? -[Bill chirping] 272 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:18,551 Maybe it's my mission, Bill. Think it could be my mission? 273 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:22,255 [upbeat music playing] 274 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,158 [bird squawking] 275 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,929 [monkeys hooting] 276 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,802 [disembodied voice] Dwayne. 277 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:40,974 -[monkeys hooting] -[music continuing] 278 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,548 [relaxing music playing] 279 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,427 [monkeys hooting] 280 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,564 * Happy, happy birthday From your staff all who * 281 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,299 * We wish you happy birthday * 282 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,802 * So we could party too, hey! * 283 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,573 [relaxing music continues] 284 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,081 [door chimes] 285 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,649 [Harry] See? See, Francine? What'd I tell you? 286 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,418 Something's come over him. I've never seen this Dwayne before. 287 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:26,819 -[Francine] Oh, Harry. -[more phones ringing] 288 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,521 Dwayne may be the most charming man in Midland City, 289 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,623 but he's also very shy. 290 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,425 Well, I don't find him so charming anymore. 291 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,194 He was walking away from me just now. 292 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,562 Oh, Harry. 293 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,165 Dwayne Hoover has fewer bad days than anybody else I know. 294 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,300 -But why me? -Oh, Harry! 295 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,302 Why me? 296 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,771 [monkeys hooting] 297 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:48,007 -Dwayne? Honey! -Not now, Francine. 298 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,076 -I mean, Mr. Hoover. -[elephants trumpeting] 299 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,610 Just leave me alone, please. 300 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,011 We didn't mean to embarrass you. 301 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,346 I was embarrassed. 302 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,814 Can we have breakfast, please? 303 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,349 It's your birthday. 304 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,850 Don't touch me. They're all watching. 305 00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,620 Nobody can see what we're doing. Nobody can hear us. 306 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,223 -[soft music playing] -[diner noise] 307 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:07,160 -Hey! Francine. -What? 308 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,662 Why are you pouring cream in my bananas? 309 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,231 It's not cream, it's La Crème. 310 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,366 * It's like cream only better * 311 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,636 I only like sugar on my bananas. Francine, you know that. 312 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,205 [soft music continues] 313 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,107 I don't like when you're sharp, Dwayne Hoover, 314 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,510 and you've been sharp quite a lot lately. 315 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,245 -It's beginning to make me think -[register bell ringing] 316 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,579 -that the things Harry Le Sabre -[ringing continues] 317 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,715 says about you are true. 318 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,750 [diner noise continuing] 319 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,087 What things? What's Harry saying? 320 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,488 [Francine] Oh, that you've changed, 321 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,557 that you're not the man you used to be. 322 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,959 I swear, Francine, 323 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,295 this is why I go home and talk to my dog for hours and hours, 324 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,264 and my dog hates my guts. 325 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:48,701 Dwayne Hoover, am I losing you? 326 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,737 The only thing anyone's losing around here is their mind, 327 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,771 Francine. 328 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,845 If you don't like me anymore, Dwayne Hoover, just say so. 329 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,413 I can take the truth. 330 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,682 Truth... [echoing] 331 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,617 [man] Damn, Rosemary, take them damn pills! 332 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,586 You're turnin' me into plutonium! 333 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,456 Oh, good morning, Mr. Hoover. 334 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,958 You're looking especially well this morning. 335 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,594 Excuse me, we are having a private-- 336 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,597 -[Rosemary screaming] -Francine, I mean sir... 337 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,566 We are having a private conversation, if you don't mind. 338 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,533 We gotta get outta here 339 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,701 -right now! -Vernon, get-- 340 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,436 get your hands off me, murderer! 341 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,272 I want Dwayne Hoover to take me home. 342 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,140 Vernon, this is a demerit on your performance record. 343 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,509 I know things that could make your head spin. 344 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,511 My head spins all the time. I'm trying to make it stop. 345 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,645 [Vernon] We gotta get outta here 346 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,980 -right now! -[Rosemary screaming] 347 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,415 Is there anything I can get for you, Mr. Hoover? 348 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,785 Oh, I can't stand that woman. She is such a phony. 349 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,791 That was a real violation of protocol. 350 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,932 Dwayne? Dwayne? 351 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,668 [mysterious musical sting] 352 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:59,772 Hey, I didn't know Vernon had an SE coupe just like mine. 353 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,107 -[soft music playing] -I don't care! 354 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,475 -I love him! -[Dwayne] Francine... 355 00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:03,843 [Francine] Except he's got a rear deck spoiler. 356 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,178 [Dwayne] Francine, please. 357 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,013 They look awfully masculine, don't you think, Dwayne? 358 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,781 Francine, please be quiet. 359 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,619 Dwayne, are you changing again? Harry was right. 360 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,255 -Oh, shut up! -[gasps] 361 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:20,927 I'm sorry. 362 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,696 I'm sorry, Francine, I didn't mean it. 363 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,132 -Sit down, please. -No. 364 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,235 Mr. Hoover, 365 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,803 I am crossing the street and going directly 366 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:31,971 -to work. -[man] Hey, it's Dwayne Hoover! 367 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,340 -I will behave in a -How you doin'! 368 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,576 professional manner, no matter how much you've changed. 369 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:37,977 [trudging music playing] 370 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,147 A thousand dollars. That's a lot of paper. 371 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,584 A lot of paper, a thousand dollars. 372 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:48,020 Who in their right mind would give me a thousand dollars? 373 00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:49,756 Why me? 374 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,026 [chuckles] 375 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,165 And they think I can write? I can write? 376 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,567 I'll show 'em. 377 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:02,869 -[upbeat music playing] -Howdy, partners! 378 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,904 Dwayne Hoover here! And the stampede is on at 379 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,241 Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Motor Village! It's Hawaiian week, 380 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,077 and that means great savings on new and used cars and trucks. 381 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,979 So don't get left out in the dust! 382 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,716 Come on down and check out our big deals on big horsepower! 383 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,385 Whoo! 384 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,986 That's right, it is Hawaiian Week 385 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,688 at Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Motor Village... 386 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,224 Why Wayne Hoobler smilin'? Wayne Hoobler gettin' out today? 387 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,695 That there is Dwayne Hoover on television. 388 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:31,163 My name and his sound so much alike. 389 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,266 -You can trust Dwayne Hoover. -I trust him. 390 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,203 Can't trust nobody, Wayne Hoobler, just me. 391 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,238 Oh, no, I trust Dwayne Hoover, 392 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,541 and I'm gonna work for him at Exit 11 Motor Village 393 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,009 in Midland City. 394 00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:44,277 Don't forget, Dwayne Hoover means good business. 395 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,779 I'm gonna live happily ever after in fairy-- 396 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,248 Gonna say fairyland, Wayne Hoobler? 397 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,918 No. No, honest. Swear. 398 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,787 Gallop on down to Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Motor Village! 399 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,357 [Eli] All you know is from watchin' TV. 400 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,959 -We got you covered. -You can't even count money. 401 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,063 Let me tell you something. 402 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,633 The creator of the universe is watchin' over me, 403 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:12,271 and I'm gonna work for Dwayne Hoover 'cause it's my callin'. 404 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:15,442 Warden's ready for you, Hoobler. It's your lucky day. 405 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:16,943 Not yours, Eli. 406 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:20,547 [trudging music playing] 407 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,284 Where in hell do they get these crazy picture ideas? 408 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,755 There's absolutely nothing about a college professor 409 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:32,392 or sorority girls in the body of this novel. 410 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,761 Excuse me. 411 00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,165 No women, for cryin' out loud. 412 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,637 That's why I didn't get paid for it. 413 00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:48,007 All I got was doodley-squat. 414 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,976 Doodley-squat. 415 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:53,480 [couple moaning] 416 00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,957 Watch it, perverted bastard. 417 00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:17,036 [orchestral music playing] 418 00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:27,547 -[trudging music playing] -[couple moaning] 419 00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:31,217 My God! "The Dancing Fool. " 420 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,453 I never realized this had been published. This... 421 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:36,055 must be more than 30 years old. 422 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,992 It's for an arts festival. 423 00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:46,132 [cat meowing] 424 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:48,334 -"What is the purpose of life?" -[trudging music continues] 425 00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:49,869 To be the eyes and ears 426 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:53,239 and conscience of the creator of the universe. Ya fool! 427 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,008 -[Kilgore yelps] -[garbage can crashing] 428 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,577 [wolf howling] 429 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,145 [officer] Let's go over their descriptions again. 430 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,013 Try age, color of skin, et cetera. 431 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,249 For all I know they may not have been earthlings. For all I know 432 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,419 they may have been an intelligent gas from Pluto. 433 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,020 [officer] You have some blood on your nose. 434 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:13,025 A small leak can sink a great ship. Benjamin Franklin. 435 00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,962 -That gas moved fast like a... -[dramatic music playing] 436 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,598 fart on linoleum. Kilgore Trout. 437 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:22,869 [relaxed music playing] 438 00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:24,403 -[monkey hooting] -[elephant trumpeting] 439 00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,539 Hey! Don't be a caveman! 440 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:28,775 Escape to the future, and come on down to Dwayne Hoover's 441 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,944 Exit 11 Motor Village and I'll make ya a mammoth deal! 442 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,946 That's right, folks. It's Hawaiian week, 443 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,516 and you can trust your old pal-- that's me, Dwayne Hoover-- 444 00:23:36,649 --> 00:23:38,951 to make you a great deal on a luxury sedan 445 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,152 just like this one. 446 00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:42,054 -[bus doors opening] -Your stop, Hoobler. 447 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:45,792 -[Dwayne continues] -[relaxed music continuing] 448 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:51,330 -[bus driving away] -[relaxed music continuing] 449 00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,967 And I'm talkin' luxury with attitude, folks. 450 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:58,971 Yes, sirree, Bob. Luxury with style. Luxury with... 451 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,507 bird shit on the hood! 452 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,109 -[director] Pan to Le Sabre. -There's bird shit on the hood! 453 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:05,778 -Harry, you're on! -[aerosol can spraying] 454 00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:10,617 Hi. I'm Harry Le Sabre. 455 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:13,319 Sales manager for Exit 11 Motor Village. 456 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,887 -[relaxed music continuing] -[animal sounds continuing] 457 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:18,424 As Dwayne Hoover just told you folks, it's Hawaiian week here. 458 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:21,193 Tell them about the bird shit on the hood, why don't ya? 459 00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:23,763 And we're loaded with new cars and trucks! 460 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:27,266 Hawaiian week celebrates our inventory reduction sale. 461 00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:30,302 So come on down and drive out with a new automobile, 462 00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:33,573 plus a cash rebate of 1,149 dollars... 463 00:24:33,706 --> 00:24:36,776 and become eligible for a free trip to Hawaii. 464 00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:39,779 So, remember, 465 00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:45,818 it's not too late to enter! It is... Remember... 466 00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:48,187 Let us prove to you... 467 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,357 [chuckling] that what's good for Dwayne Hoover... 468 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,693 is good for you... 469 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:55,862 too! 470 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,897 I'd like to see you in my office right away, Harry. 471 00:24:58,030 --> 00:24:59,198 -[director] Cut, cut. -[music slows and stops] 472 00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,534 Harry, what the hell were you thinking? 473 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:04,303 -Do you think we got anything? -[cameraman] Not much. 474 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,607 [director] Harry, you spoiled the whole thing! 475 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:09,508 -[bird squawking] -Mr. Hoover! 476 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:11,443 Mr. Hoover, I'm sorry about yesterday morning 477 00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:13,713 in the restaurant. My wife, you know, she's... 478 00:25:14,313 --> 00:25:16,015 She sees things that aren't really there. 479 00:25:16,148 --> 00:25:17,149 I understand. 480 00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:18,718 Maybe I'm goin' crazy. I don't know. 481 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,387 I'll go home for hours and talk with my gosh-darn dog. 482 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,222 -I understand. -Mr. Hoover! 483 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,791 -How you doing, there, sir? -Good morning, 484 00:25:24,924 --> 00:25:26,525 It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've been watching you 485 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:28,094 -half of my life. -Good morning. 486 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:30,897 Remember this? It's from your July 4th Firecracker Sale. 487 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,031 -Yeah. -Had it in my wallet 488 00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:33,800 -since I was nine. -Good morning. 489 00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:35,935 Sir, the good Lord meant for us to work so close 490 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,570 because our names are so close, you see? 491 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:41,540 -Mine is... Wayne Hoobler. -Hoobler. 492 00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:42,809 Isn't that beautiful? 493 00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:44,176 I'm gonna have my own car dealership one day 494 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:45,678 just like you. 495 00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,680 Never told anyone that though. Saved it just for you, sir. 496 00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:49,682 -Good morning. -Good morning, sir. 497 00:25:49,816 --> 00:25:51,483 It's a great morning, sir. 498 00:25:51,618 --> 00:25:52,952 -Beautiful day, sir! -Just stop shaking my hand now, 499 00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,553 -young man. -[both muttering indistinctly] 500 00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:56,522 You know, you look great. Hop on in. 501 00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,892 [relaxed music playing] 502 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,762 -Young man! Young man! -That's what I told Eli. 503 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,698 Young man! Stop shaking my... 504 00:26:05,832 --> 00:26:08,668 -[phones ringing] -My God. 505 00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:12,071 [animals calling] 506 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,543 Fairyland! 507 00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:23,582 Harry! Harry! 508 00:26:23,716 --> 00:26:25,551 Come over here. I need to speak to you right this second. 509 00:26:25,685 --> 00:26:28,788 -[phones ringing] -I didn't really say that. 510 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:32,725 Dwayne, what can I say? 511 00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:36,495 I always knew you'd find out someday. But, you know, we've 512 00:26:36,629 --> 00:26:38,597 been friends far too long for such a thing to ever interfere-- 513 00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,432 -with our relationship. -Harry. Harry. Harry. 514 00:26:40,566 --> 00:26:42,769 Do you see this-- Harry! Do you see this young man over here? 515 00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:45,271 -Please. Take good care of him. -Yeah. 516 00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:46,572 -Okay. -Give him whatever he wants. 517 00:26:46,706 --> 00:26:47,874 Dwayne, I don't know what made me think I could 518 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:50,142 hide it from you. You know, Grace said 519 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:50,977 -Harry! Harry! -it's just a-- 520 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,411 Harry! 521 00:26:53,479 --> 00:26:55,782 We'll discuss it in my office, okay? 522 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:56,683 All right. 523 00:26:58,885 --> 00:27:01,087 The inquisition. 524 00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:04,190 -Harry, put 'er there. -Hello. 525 00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:05,792 -Wayne Hoobler. -Hoobler. 526 00:27:05,925 --> 00:27:07,660 Hoobler, yes. It's a pleasure. 527 00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:11,798 -That your office back there? -Yes. 528 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:14,466 -Let's go take a look. -Oh! 529 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,669 [phones ringing] 530 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,672 [Dwayne clearing throat] 531 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:21,107 For some reason, 532 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,675 this looks like it's turning out to be another one of those 533 00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:25,477 tough days, Francine, so let's just keep everything nice and-- 534 00:27:25,611 --> 00:27:27,279 -Excuse me, Mr. Hoover. -[phones ringing] 535 00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:28,647 Ever since breakfast yesterday 536 00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:31,183 I've been thinking very hard on the subject, and... 537 00:27:31,317 --> 00:27:33,552 I've decided that I feel I should quit. 538 00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:36,088 I think it'll be easier on both of us. 539 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:45,531 You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it sure helps. 540 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,801 Well, that's just to keep people from being serious all the time, 541 00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:51,137 Mr. Sourpuss. 542 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:58,377 I'm sorry, Dwayne. I know you're just tense. 543 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:01,547 You're-- you're under a lot of pressure. 544 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,549 You remember how you were last year 545 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,585 during the George Washington Day Giveaway Sale? 546 00:28:06,719 --> 00:28:09,822 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. 547 00:28:09,956 --> 00:28:12,859 I swear, some people will swallow almost anything. 548 00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,694 -[pill clatters] -[mysterious music playing] 549 00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:19,365 I'm sorry. I wasn't referring to your wife when I said that. 550 00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:24,771 Dwayne, I have a little something for you. 551 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:29,842 Just a gift to take with you. 552 00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:37,016 And, um, I forgive you for yesterday... 553 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:40,920 [whispering] snooks. 554 00:28:43,122 --> 00:28:44,924 [animal sounds] 555 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,459 I've been watching Dwayne Hoover ever since I was nine years old. 556 00:28:47,593 --> 00:28:49,295 -Nine years old. -Uh-huh. 557 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:52,765 Did he ever say anything about me, about my habits? 558 00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:54,100 He said you'd give me what I need. 559 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:57,937 Give you what you need. Well... [clears throat] 560 00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:00,006 I wonder what the hell he meant by that, huh? 561 00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:03,409 [sniffs inhaler] 562 00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:07,113 -No, please. Put that down. -[mysterious music playing] 563 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:11,283 That's much, much better. It's a little medicine. [chuckling] 564 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:16,055 Now, why don't you fill out this entry form here, 565 00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:18,424 and let's see what we can do for you. 566 00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:20,893 Oh, what would you like? 567 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:24,563 -Hay...hay...way... -Sports sedan, for color? 568 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:27,566 Metallic gray purple. Now that should make your mouth water. 569 00:29:27,699 --> 00:29:29,235 That should make life in the passing lane 570 00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:30,937 a little more comfortable, huh? 571 00:29:31,070 --> 00:29:32,604 Hawaii. 572 00:29:32,738 --> 00:29:34,673 Hawaii. It's Hawaiian Week, 573 00:29:34,807 --> 00:29:37,443 and you're eligible for a free trip to Hawaii. 574 00:29:37,576 --> 00:29:39,078 -[monkey sounds] -I don't wanna go there. 575 00:29:39,211 --> 00:29:40,746 [Harry] Just come and sit down. 576 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,747 I wanna stay here. 577 00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:42,882 Well, that's all right. 578 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:45,017 You don't have to go. That's all right. 579 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,988 Now, do you have a trade-in? 580 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:49,822 A trade? 581 00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:50,923 Yes. 582 00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:51,924 Yes, sir. 583 00:29:52,058 --> 00:29:53,826 I'm a homemaker, honest. 584 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,528 Oh, you're a homemaker, huh? 585 00:29:56,662 --> 00:29:58,998 [chuckles] 586 00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:02,168 Well, maybe this sports sedan isn't quite right for you. 587 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:05,537 How about a Crown Victoria? 588 00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:08,174 One owner, low miles. Little old lady 589 00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:10,142 only drove it to a retirement home. 590 00:30:10,276 --> 00:30:11,310 You have that for me? 591 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:12,611 Yes. 592 00:30:12,744 --> 00:30:15,047 Just sign right here and I'll get you the keys. 593 00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:17,083 Fairyland! 594 00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:18,084 -What? -[monkeys hooting] 595 00:30:18,217 --> 00:30:19,351 -What? -What'd you just say? 596 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:20,652 I didn't say nothin'. I didn't say nothin'. 597 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:21,854 Yes, you did. 598 00:30:21,988 --> 00:30:23,255 -Must've been somebody-- -No, no. Goddamn it. 599 00:30:23,389 --> 00:30:26,158 I distinctly heard you say, "F-- Fairy." 600 00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:27,626 Why'd you say that? 601 00:30:27,759 --> 00:30:31,130 Please, please help me. I need to know why you said that. 602 00:30:31,263 --> 00:30:32,698 Now look, look. Is that the image? 603 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,733 Is that the image? Does it show? 604 00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:38,337 For God's sake, man, tell me! Does it show? 605 00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:40,339 [both] Please don't tell Dwayne Hoover! 606 00:30:40,472 --> 00:30:41,707 Look, I'm not lost, I swear! 607 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,275 I promise. It's just, it's just all the colors! 608 00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:44,576 Colors? What colors? 609 00:30:44,710 --> 00:30:46,478 For Christ's sake, you have colors on! 610 00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:47,713 This is a black suit! 611 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:50,349 This is a conservative black suit. 612 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:54,086 [sniffing inhaler] 613 00:30:56,155 --> 00:30:59,525 -[snorting] -[relaxed music playing] 614 00:31:03,662 --> 00:31:07,066 -Oh. Oh. Much, much better. -[monkeys hooting] 615 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,402 -Now, sit down, Mr. Hoover. -"Bler." 616 00:31:10,536 --> 00:31:12,038 -Uh, "Bler"? -Hoobler. 617 00:31:12,171 --> 00:31:13,272 Oh. 618 00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:15,341 See, the good Lord gave us names so close, 619 00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:18,144 so that both of us would know exactly what to do. 620 00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,579 Hoobler. That's true. 621 00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:23,682 Now, listen to me. 622 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:26,885 Now, there are ways to hide these papers. 623 00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:28,420 Permanently. 624 00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:34,060 But you, you must never, ever tell anyone 625 00:31:34,193 --> 00:31:36,328 about our little talk today. 626 00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,264 -[whispering] Yes, sir. -Ah. 627 00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:40,566 -And thank you, sir. -Oh, thank you. 628 00:31:40,699 --> 00:31:42,034 -Could you do me a favor? -Mm-hm. 629 00:31:42,168 --> 00:31:43,802 [normal voice] Tell Dwayne Hoover I'll be here 630 00:31:43,936 --> 00:31:45,037 bright and early in the morning. 631 00:31:45,171 --> 00:31:47,106 No, no, no, no, no. Wait. 632 00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:47,940 You can't come back. 633 00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:49,108 Bright and early! 634 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,442 [Wayne] It's my calling! 635 00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:51,944 You can't come back! 636 00:31:52,078 --> 00:31:55,714 -[groaning] -[relaxed music continuing] 637 00:31:57,883 --> 00:31:59,085 [whispers] One, two, three, four. 638 00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:07,459 [bird squawking] 639 00:32:12,731 --> 00:32:14,766 [phone ringing] 640 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:19,538 -[phone ringing] -[sighs] 641 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:23,909 Hello? 642 00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:26,612 Dwayne knows. Everybody knows. 643 00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:28,747 He wants to see me in his office. What do I do? 644 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,848 I'm a nervous wreck. 645 00:32:29,982 --> 00:32:31,317 Just take a Relax. 646 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:34,186 Oh, Jesus, I've already taken four time capsules, Grace. 647 00:32:35,154 --> 00:32:37,923 -Maui beckons. -No, no, no. Please, Grace. 648 00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:40,459 Please. This is very, very important. Listen to me. 649 00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:42,028 Harry, what's important is what is, 650 00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:46,332 and you are the result of two million biological years. 651 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,667 Don't blow it. I love you. 652 00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:50,636 [phone hangs up] 653 00:32:51,903 --> 00:32:55,907 Ah! Don't blow it, yeah. 654 00:32:56,975 --> 00:33:00,279 [mellow music playing] 655 00:33:03,415 --> 00:33:06,852 [packing paper rustling] 656 00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:24,870 [rapid music playing] 657 00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,939 [envelope tearing] 658 00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:31,377 [man] Dear Mr. Hoover, Sugar Creek Estates, 659 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:34,246 of which you are the primary stockholder and chief developer, 660 00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:36,715 will be the subject of a public forum 661 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,617 to discuss the toxic soil findings 662 00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:40,819 beneath the development site. 663 00:33:40,952 --> 00:33:44,390 [rapid music continuing] 664 00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:49,161 [industrial whistle blowing] 665 00:33:49,295 --> 00:33:52,564 [truck engine revving] 666 00:33:56,335 --> 00:33:57,669 [truck horn blowing] 667 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,077 [man] Midland City. Come on. 668 00:34:06,812 --> 00:34:09,715 Ah, how can you stand that smell out there? 669 00:34:09,848 --> 00:34:11,250 Whoa, shut the door. 670 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:14,853 -[trudging music playing] -Whoo! Whoo. 671 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,257 It's all poison now. 672 00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:23,729 Think of the shit most of these factories make. 673 00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:28,066 Raspberry air freshener. Gourmet cat food. 674 00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:30,436 Plastic donuts. 675 00:34:31,437 --> 00:34:33,038 I used to be a conservationist. 676 00:34:33,339 --> 00:34:34,573 Used to weep and wail when I heard 677 00:34:34,706 --> 00:34:36,074 about people shooting bald eagles 678 00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:37,576 from the helicopters and all that. 679 00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:39,711 But I gave it up. I laugh about it now. 680 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:43,382 I say, "Up your ass! Man needs his gas!" 681 00:34:46,252 --> 00:34:48,220 You ever read a story called "Gilgongo"? 682 00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:50,756 About a planet that becomes too unpleasant because there was 683 00:34:50,889 --> 00:34:52,258 too much creation going on? 684 00:34:52,391 --> 00:34:54,426 -Gil what? -Gilgongo. 685 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,561 Extinct. 686 00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:57,463 -[bird squawking] -I gotta take a leak. 687 00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,899 I understand that to mean you're gonna steal a mirror. 688 00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:03,235 -Steal a mirror? -Leaks. 689 00:35:03,369 --> 00:35:06,172 The holes between two universes. 690 00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:07,639 Don't get too near to that leak. 691 00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:09,641 You don't want to wind up in the other universe, do you? 692 00:35:09,775 --> 00:35:13,145 Uh, maybe you should take some more time to relax, Gramps. 693 00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:15,614 Time is a joker. The only solution to any problem is time. 694 00:35:15,747 --> 00:35:17,449 How lucky can you get? 695 00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:19,751 All right, that's 23.50 for the diesel. 696 00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:22,087 Yeah, don't forget to clean the side leak there. 697 00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,656 -The what? -The leak. 698 00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:26,492 -The mirror! -[bird squawking] 699 00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,994 Oh, the mir-- Oh, well, that's funny. 700 00:35:31,197 --> 00:35:32,931 What are you lookin' at? 701 00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:41,273 [twinkling music playing] [humming] 702 00:35:41,407 --> 00:35:44,676 [children laughing, shouting] 703 00:35:51,049 --> 00:35:54,320 [violin music playing] 704 00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:13,872 [tense music playing] 705 00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:24,783 [door knocking] 706 00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:25,884 [muffled speaking] 707 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,053 Just a gosh-darn minute! 708 00:36:32,358 --> 00:36:34,526 [clattering] 709 00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:35,894 Okay. 710 00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,030 Dwayne. 711 00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:44,135 [chuckles] 712 00:36:44,270 --> 00:36:46,705 How's my old Army buddy? 713 00:36:48,474 --> 00:36:50,776 [Dwayne] As well as can be expected, Harry. 714 00:36:51,277 --> 00:36:54,780 How about you? You having any problems? 715 00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,817 No. No. 716 00:36:58,950 --> 00:37:02,854 I, uh... I don't know how to say it, buddy. 717 00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:09,060 I guess it started with a Tugboat Annie movie. 718 00:37:09,194 --> 00:37:10,562 [laughs] Yeah? 719 00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:17,436 Yeah. Maybe it was panties on a clothesline, 720 00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:19,738 or Mother's bra in the laundry, 721 00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:23,309 or, you know, sister's slip, the silk. 722 00:37:23,442 --> 00:37:25,076 Harry, Vernon Garr's wife, Rosemary, 723 00:37:25,210 --> 00:37:27,413 thinks Vern is trying to turn her brain into plutonium. 724 00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:28,947 What do you think of that? 725 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,383 Oh... 726 00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:37,122 God, that's just... 727 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,898 We play around. Horsie, dressy. 728 00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:50,636 Grace and I, it's fun. 729 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:54,973 But it's a private thing. It's in our own house. 730 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:55,974 We don't-- 731 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,277 [Harry stammering] 732 00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:01,212 You know-- 733 00:38:01,347 --> 00:38:02,648 What's wrong? 734 00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,451 It's, we don't have any children. 735 00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,986 So, you know, why contribute to overpopulation? 736 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:09,921 Harry, sit down please. 737 00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:13,425 Sit down. 738 00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:17,463 [stammering] Jesus. 739 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:18,630 Sit down! 740 00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:26,472 That's good. You did sit down. 741 00:38:29,074 --> 00:38:30,609 Why did you sit down, Harry? 742 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:35,614 Because you asked me to, Dwayne. 743 00:38:36,214 --> 00:38:37,649 Right. 744 00:38:37,783 --> 00:38:38,950 Good. 745 00:38:39,084 --> 00:38:41,119 I asked you to sit down, and you did. 746 00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:42,954 You do that, don't you, Harry? 747 00:38:43,088 --> 00:38:45,023 People ask you to do things and you do that. 748 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:46,425 Why is that, Harry? 749 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,296 Uh, what are you saying, Dwayne? 750 00:38:51,963 --> 00:38:53,965 What are you saying, Harry? 751 00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:57,736 Well, what I'm saying is that... 752 00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:04,910 I guess that I don't really understand my own statement. 753 00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:06,378 You know? 754 00:39:06,512 --> 00:39:07,646 Is that why you're telling people 755 00:39:07,779 --> 00:39:09,648 that I've changed, Harry? 756 00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:11,550 [Harry] Oh, no, no, no. 757 00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:14,352 I just said you're behaving a little differently. 758 00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:15,721 [stammering] 759 00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:17,489 I meant as a compliment. 760 00:39:17,623 --> 00:39:18,757 You meant it as a compliment. 761 00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,058 Yes. 762 00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:21,226 So you weren't happy with the way I was before? 763 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,828 -No. -Are you sure this doesn't 764 00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:24,095 have anything to do with the fact 765 00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:26,532 that only you know that I was adopted, Harry? 766 00:39:26,665 --> 00:39:28,567 -[Harry stammers] -I want the truth! 767 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:33,071 Good God, Dwayne, no! Come on. We're army buddies. Army! 768 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:35,574 You weren't in the Army, Harry, remember? 769 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:36,842 You stayed home. 770 00:39:39,144 --> 00:39:40,712 I was in the Signal Corps. 771 00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:43,214 You were not in the Army. 772 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:49,588 Harry. 773 00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:58,363 I've never let fact 774 00:39:58,497 --> 00:40:01,433 that you have the name of a Buick come between us. 775 00:40:01,567 --> 00:40:03,635 -Have I, Harry? -No. 776 00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:06,071 -Because you can't help that. -Right. 777 00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:07,539 -It's not your fault. -Right. 778 00:40:07,673 --> 00:40:09,107 You can't change that, can you, Harry? 779 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,041 Mm-mm. 780 00:40:11,009 --> 00:40:15,714 -But this is Hawaiian Week. -Yeah. 781 00:40:17,015 --> 00:40:19,417 I suggest you go get with Vernon Garr. 782 00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:21,419 Have him get you some cotton waste. 783 00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:23,421 Soak it in blue Sunoco. 784 00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:26,592 And I want you to burn your entire wardrobe. 785 00:40:28,494 --> 00:40:29,595 Do you understand what I'm saying? 786 00:40:29,728 --> 00:40:30,562 Yeah. 787 00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:34,900 Now, look, in the old days 788 00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:36,802 when we first started selling new cars, 789 00:40:36,935 --> 00:40:38,637 we sold them to older people. 790 00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:41,239 Under those circumstances, it was perfectly all right 791 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:42,941 to dress the way you dress. 792 00:40:43,074 --> 00:40:45,410 Hey, you could dress like a mortician, 793 00:40:45,544 --> 00:40:48,914 you could dress like my Aunt Clarice for that matter, 794 00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:54,920 but doggone it, Harry, you seem to be forgetting something. 795 00:40:55,721 --> 00:40:59,290 We are selling the most aggressively designed automobile 796 00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:01,593 on the road today for people that are looking 797 00:41:01,727 --> 00:41:04,496 for unsurpassed driving excitement. 798 00:41:04,896 --> 00:41:08,800 But look at you. You're dressed like an undertaker. 799 00:41:08,934 --> 00:41:11,336 Now, Harry, I have some good news. 800 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,471 Modern science has given us a whole 801 00:41:13,605 --> 00:41:15,040 new wonderful array of colors 802 00:41:15,173 --> 00:41:20,278 with exciting names like red, blue, orange, yellow, pink. 803 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,182 Am I making myself clear? 804 00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,962 Why don't you come right out and say it, Dwayne? 805 00:41:37,095 --> 00:41:38,864 Say what, Harry? 806 00:41:41,432 --> 00:41:43,802 That I like to wear women's clothes. 807 00:41:43,935 --> 00:41:46,371 [gong chiming] 808 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:48,774 Is that what you like, Harry? 809 00:41:48,907 --> 00:41:52,043 -Yeah. -[exotic music playing] 810 00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:53,044 Hm. 811 00:41:55,781 --> 00:41:59,150 [chuckling] No. 812 00:41:59,284 --> 00:42:04,656 No, no, no, no. [stammering] 813 00:42:09,327 --> 00:42:10,696 Not exactly. 814 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:12,063 Then why do you want me to say 815 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:13,431 that you like to wear women's clothes, Harry? 816 00:42:13,565 --> 00:42:16,735 God, I don't, Dwayne. I don't, I swear to God I don't. 817 00:42:16,868 --> 00:42:19,470 Then what are you saying? 818 00:42:19,605 --> 00:42:22,107 I'll change. I'll change. 819 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,542 -You'll change? -Yes. 820 00:42:24,676 --> 00:42:25,877 -You'll change? -Yes. 821 00:42:26,011 --> 00:42:27,946 -I have your word on that. -Absolutely. 822 00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:29,581 -It's Hawaiian Week, Harry. -Mm-hm. 823 00:42:29,715 --> 00:42:31,416 I've gotta be able to count on you. 824 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:32,718 Yes, you can. 825 00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:34,753 -So, you change? -Mm-hm. 826 00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,121 Don't you worry about me changing. 827 00:42:36,254 --> 00:42:37,188 No, no, no. 828 00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:38,356 That's fair, isn't it? 829 00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:39,825 Oh, absolutely, that's more than fair. 830 00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:44,295 -That's not too much to ask. -No, no, no. Good God, no. 831 00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:49,467 And I wanna be friends, like before. 832 00:42:51,169 --> 00:42:53,204 -Friends? -Yeah. 833 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,240 Buddies? 834 00:42:55,373 --> 00:42:56,441 Buddies. 835 00:42:57,709 --> 00:42:59,745 -Buddies. -Buddies. 836 00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:02,614 You can go, Harry. 837 00:43:02,748 --> 00:43:04,115 All right. 838 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:06,451 Right now. 839 00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,319 Oh. Yes. 840 00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,889 Yes, yes, Dwayne. 841 00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:16,561 Buddies. 842 00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:21,767 [phone ringing] 843 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:22,768 [door shuts] 844 00:43:24,369 --> 00:43:27,639 -[Harry sighs] -[relaxed music playing] 845 00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:31,342 Francine. [chuckling] 846 00:43:32,377 --> 00:43:35,280 He said I dress like an undertaker. 847 00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:38,349 Oh, I thought he was gonna bring up-- 848 00:43:38,483 --> 00:43:39,517 Just remember, Harry. 849 00:43:39,651 --> 00:43:42,821 Dwayne Hoover is the best employer in town. 850 00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:43,755 Ah. 851 00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:49,527 [TV powering up] 852 00:43:49,661 --> 00:43:53,899 [announcer speaking indistinctly] 853 00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:58,704 [relaxed music continuing] 854 00:44:08,579 --> 00:44:11,817 [woman on TV] White is for laundry. 855 00:44:11,950 --> 00:44:14,085 [phone ringing] 856 00:44:14,219 --> 00:44:16,688 Thank you for calling Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Motor Village, 857 00:44:16,822 --> 00:44:19,290 the number one dealership in the Four Corners area, 858 00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:21,126 where we are celebrating Hawaiian Week 859 00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:23,094 with free prizes and big discounts. 860 00:44:23,228 --> 00:44:25,396 This is Francine Pefko, how may I help you? 861 00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:27,699 Francine. 862 00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:29,200 Dwayne. 863 00:44:31,236 --> 00:44:33,972 I want you to walk out of here with me this very moment. 864 00:44:34,105 --> 00:44:36,708 Go to the Best Western Apollo Inn in Shepherdstown. 865 00:44:36,842 --> 00:44:39,244 -[gasps] -[phone ringing] 866 00:44:39,377 --> 00:44:42,180 Mr. Hoover, you ought to have some crazy 867 00:44:42,313 --> 00:44:44,983 teenager who can run off with you whenever you want her to. 868 00:44:45,116 --> 00:44:47,552 I don't want a crazy teenager, Francine, I want you. 869 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,491 [car wheels squealing] 870 00:44:53,624 --> 00:44:54,826 [car horn honking] 871 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,227 Who's this knucklehead, Harry? 872 00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:58,396 [chuckles] It's Wayne Hoobler. 873 00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,898 -He's a friend of Dwayne's. -[car horn honking] 874 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,801 -Take good care of him, will ya? -He looks like a good guy. 875 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,102 -Yeah. -[car horn honking] 876 00:45:04,235 --> 00:45:05,971 How ya doin', buddy? Wanna take her for a spin? 877 00:45:06,104 --> 00:45:08,373 -[car horn honking] -[Vernon speaking indistinctly] 878 00:45:08,506 --> 00:45:10,375 [Wayne] Hey, Mr. Hoover! What say? 879 00:45:10,508 --> 00:45:13,912 [Vernon continues] 880 00:45:16,014 --> 00:45:19,517 Oh, be right back, fellas. We're just going to the... bank. 881 00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:23,721 Maybe stop for a... snack. 882 00:45:23,889 --> 00:45:25,556 -[elephant trumpeting] -[car door shutting] 883 00:45:25,690 --> 00:45:27,458 [Wayne] I'll be here when you get back, Mr. Hoover. 884 00:45:27,592 --> 00:45:28,960 You can count on it! 885 00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:30,862 [Vernon] You could fry an egg on this engine if you wanted to. 886 00:45:30,996 --> 00:45:32,630 [elephant trumpeting] 887 00:45:32,764 --> 00:45:36,234 [trudging music playing] 888 00:45:39,537 --> 00:45:42,073 Extinct. Gilgongo. 889 00:45:43,708 --> 00:45:45,076 -The bull elephant -[water rushing] 890 00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:47,378 makes his way inexorably... 891 00:45:47,512 --> 00:45:51,282 for what he knows to be his own certain death. 892 00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:57,088 Slouching, as it were, to what's his own personal Bethlehem. 893 00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:06,597 Gilgongo! 894 00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:07,966 [door closing] 895 00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:09,300 [Francine] Oh, I love the smell 896 00:46:09,434 --> 00:46:11,302 of raspberry air freshener. 897 00:46:12,103 --> 00:46:15,773 Hmm. TV helps me relax. 898 00:46:15,907 --> 00:46:16,975 [TV powering up] 899 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,443 -Well, -[TV] And finally, Estes Lish 900 00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:20,378 -we sure do want you relaxed, -and Daphne Churl were 901 00:46:20,511 --> 00:46:21,813 -Francine. -arrested today and charged with 902 00:46:21,947 --> 00:46:23,114 the murders of three elderly Michigan widows... 903 00:46:23,248 --> 00:46:26,251 Now why would a thin good-looking man like that 904 00:46:26,384 --> 00:46:28,653 -love a woman so heavy? -...by lethal injection. 905 00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:30,822 -[waterbed sloshing] -Come up here. 906 00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:32,924 Now, welcome to the Monty Rapid Show, 907 00:46:33,058 --> 00:46:36,061 -with Mr. Monty Rapid. -[Francine moaning] 908 00:46:36,194 --> 00:46:37,462 Thank you, my old friend, Virgil. 909 00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:40,265 And welcome, everyone, to The Monty Rapid Show. 910 00:46:40,398 --> 00:46:42,300 Today it is my great privilege to have, 911 00:46:42,433 --> 00:46:43,935 -here in the studio as my guest, -[Francine laughs] 912 00:46:44,069 --> 00:46:46,337 -Mr. Fred T. Barry... -[Francine] Oh, look! 913 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:49,407 It's Fred T. Barry on The Monty Rapid Show. 914 00:46:49,540 --> 00:46:51,276 Also one of its wealthiest. 915 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:53,678 -[TV continues] -I love you, Dwayne. 916 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:55,280 -No, no, Francine, don't. Don't. -[waterbed sloshing] 917 00:46:55,413 --> 00:46:58,483 I know I promised never to say it, 918 00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:02,153 but it's a promise I can't help breaking all the time. 919 00:47:02,287 --> 00:47:04,155 -Please! -[Francine moans] 920 00:47:04,289 --> 00:47:07,825 I know the subject is painful for you, Dwayne, 921 00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:11,329 ever since your wife started acting... crazy. 922 00:47:11,462 --> 00:47:13,098 -That's enough! -But... 923 00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:15,000 -Oh! - ...can expect from your-- 924 00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:18,636 -our Arts Festival, Fred? -[Francine moaning] 925 00:47:18,769 --> 00:47:20,571 -Art, Monty, -[Francine] That's it. Oh! 926 00:47:20,705 --> 00:47:21,907 they can expect art. 927 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,009 When I go to heaven... [moans] 928 00:47:24,142 --> 00:47:26,044 on Judgment Day, 929 00:47:26,177 --> 00:47:30,181 and they ask me what bad things I did down here, 930 00:47:30,315 --> 00:47:33,051 I'm gonna have to tell them, well-- 931 00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:34,652 -[Francine laughs] -A little art, Monty, 932 00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:37,055 -can go a long way. - It was a promise I made 933 00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:40,058 -Eliot Rosewater... - to a man I loved...and I kept 934 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:42,060 -Francine. -breaking it all the time. 935 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:43,594 Let's just drop the whole subject. 936 00:47:43,728 --> 00:47:44,729 [laughs] 937 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:48,033 -I promised never to say -[TV continues] 938 00:47:48,166 --> 00:47:51,369 -Francine, please don't-- -I love you. 939 00:47:51,502 --> 00:47:53,071 -"The greatest living writer -Love, love, love, 940 00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:54,405 -"in the English language." -love, love, 941 00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:56,341 -[Dwayne] Jesus. -love. 942 00:47:56,474 --> 00:47:58,609 Twist me just a little bit. 943 00:47:58,743 --> 00:48:00,578 -Kilgore Trout. -[Francine moans] 944 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,481 -[waterbed sloshing] -Kilgore Trout [echoing] 945 00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:05,250 You, like, work so hard. 946 00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:08,586 -Kilgore Trout. -If I was a man, I'd be tense 947 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,589 -Kilgore Trout? [echoing] -all the time, too. [giggling] 948 00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:15,226 Kilgore Trout. [echoing] 949 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,262 -[waterbed sloshing] -[relaxed music playing] 950 00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,165 -[TV ad playing indistinctly] -[Francine moaning] 951 00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:21,466 [Celia] Dwayne? 952 00:48:21,599 --> 00:48:24,502 Remember when we bundled up baby George... 953 00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:28,106 and took him for his first ride in the station wagon? 954 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,075 He was so happy. 955 00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:33,411 You work so hard, honey. Maybe that's why God created women: 956 00:48:33,544 --> 00:48:34,779 -to help men relax -[Celia giggles] 957 00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,781 -from time to time. -[Dwayne laughs uncomfortably] 958 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:39,550 You feel better now, dear? 959 00:48:40,385 --> 00:48:42,053 Good. 960 00:48:42,187 --> 00:48:46,091 Oh, darn. Oh, I promised Gloria I'd be back in one hour. 961 00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:51,796 The perfect blast, six feet of choice meats, real dairy cheese. 962 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,765 You know, this would be the perfect location 963 00:48:54,899 --> 00:48:57,602 for a fried chicken franchise right here next to the prison. 964 00:49:02,307 --> 00:49:03,541 Dwayne... 965 00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:06,544 you're making a face like a rattlesnake. 966 00:49:08,046 --> 00:49:11,416 -Ah! -[Dwayne muttering on TV] 967 00:49:11,549 --> 00:49:13,985 -Aha what? -Francine! 968 00:49:14,119 --> 00:49:16,621 Next time you want to ask me for a gift, 969 00:49:16,754 --> 00:49:17,555 do me a favor... 970 00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:18,923 and don't hint around 971 00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:21,859 until after we are done making love, okay? 972 00:49:21,993 --> 00:49:26,297 I like to keep my lovemaking and my gift-giving separate! 973 00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:28,566 Dwayne, I don't even know what it is you think I want. 974 00:49:28,699 --> 00:49:30,601 [mocking] I don't even know what it is you think I want, Dwayne! 975 00:49:30,735 --> 00:49:31,869 Why are you doing this to me? 976 00:49:32,003 --> 00:49:33,471 God bless America! 977 00:49:33,604 --> 00:49:35,306 Every woman has her price, Francine. 978 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:36,441 Yours just happens to be 979 00:49:36,574 --> 00:49:38,809 200,000 dollars with parking and lights! 980 00:49:39,077 --> 00:49:43,848 It's not for me. It's for you. Everything I want is for you! 981 00:49:43,981 --> 00:49:47,052 [mocking] Everything is for you! Everything I want is for you, 982 00:49:47,185 --> 00:49:48,586 -Dwayne! -[Francine gasps] 983 00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:51,156 Harry Le Sabre was right! 984 00:49:51,289 --> 00:49:54,125 He said you'd changed, and, my God, you've changed. 985 00:49:54,259 --> 00:49:56,927 Dwayne Hoover, you have changed! [coughs] 986 00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:00,465 [sighs] 987 00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:03,034 I'm sorry I was so cross with you, Francine. 988 00:50:04,569 --> 00:50:06,271 I don't know what's wrong with me. 989 00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:09,974 You're the most loyal and unselfish person 990 00:50:10,108 --> 00:50:11,642 I've ever known in my whole life. 991 00:50:12,210 --> 00:50:14,779 [creaking] 992 00:50:14,912 --> 00:50:16,681 I'm so sorry. 993 00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,817 Please forgive me. 994 00:50:23,921 --> 00:50:26,724 -I'm so confused. -Oh, we all are. 995 00:50:29,460 --> 00:50:31,829 I'm just looking for somebody to steer me in the right direction, 996 00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:33,398 just a sign. 997 00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:35,700 I just need somebody to talk to. That's all. 998 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,336 Well, here, baby. 999 00:50:38,469 --> 00:50:40,205 Sit here and... 1000 00:50:40,338 --> 00:50:43,108 tell Mommy everything. 1001 00:50:43,608 --> 00:50:45,176 Okay. 1002 00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:50,681 -Then, tell me, please. -Tell you what, my sweetheart? 1003 00:50:51,682 --> 00:50:53,050 What life is about. 1004 00:50:53,184 --> 00:50:56,387 Oh, only God knows that, Dwayne. 1005 00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:59,824 -Only God -[echoing] God, God. God, God. 1006 00:50:59,957 --> 00:51:02,727 God, God. God, God. 1007 00:51:04,195 --> 00:51:05,363 [sinister tone playing] 1008 00:51:05,496 --> 00:51:07,565 -Francine? -Mm-hm? 1009 00:51:08,099 --> 00:51:10,135 Did I ever tell you about my trip to headquarters 1010 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:11,269 in Michigan? 1011 00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,538 When you won the Golden Sales Award? 1012 00:51:13,671 --> 00:51:15,773 -Yes. -Mm-mm. 1013 00:51:16,441 --> 00:51:18,843 I was given a tour of the research facility. 1014 00:51:19,677 --> 00:51:21,779 And do you know what impressed me the most? 1015 00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:22,780 What? 1016 00:51:23,148 --> 00:51:24,715 The place where they do everything to cars 1017 00:51:24,849 --> 00:51:26,651 that you're not supposed to do to cars. 1018 00:51:27,185 --> 00:51:28,553 [jazzy music coming from TV] 1019 00:51:28,686 --> 00:51:30,488 I remember seeing a sign on the door of the building 1020 00:51:30,621 --> 00:51:32,022 where they did all this torture. 1021 00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:36,227 -[car crashing] -[jazz continues] 1022 00:51:36,361 --> 00:51:38,229 -It said, "Destructive Testing." -[sinister tone continuing] 1023 00:51:38,363 --> 00:51:40,898 [car crashing] 1024 00:51:41,031 --> 00:51:43,468 I remember looking at that sign and thinking, 1025 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:47,438 -"Is this what I'm here for?" -[crashing] 1026 00:51:47,572 --> 00:51:50,575 "To see just how much a man can take without breaking?" 1027 00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:54,312 -[sinister tone continuing] -[TV continues] 1028 00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:58,649 -I've lost my way, Francine. -Oh. 1029 00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:02,086 Take my hand and lead me out of the woods. 1030 00:52:02,220 --> 00:52:04,989 -You're just tired, honey. -I'm way beyond tired. 1031 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,491 [Monty coughs] 1032 00:52:07,091 --> 00:52:08,926 We're here visiting with Fred T. Barry-- 1033 00:52:09,059 --> 00:52:10,961 Maybe we should take you to see a doctor? 1034 00:52:11,095 --> 00:52:13,898 I don't need to hear what a doctor has to say, Francine. 1035 00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:17,468 I've heard what every person in Midland City's had to say twice. 1036 00:52:18,102 --> 00:52:20,004 [both] Which one of which one of us would you like, Dwayne? 1037 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:24,275 -[echoing] -[Dwayne whimpers] 1038 00:52:24,409 --> 00:52:27,845 Dwayne? Dwayne? What is it? 1039 00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:28,979 Dwayne? 1040 00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,350 I need to hear truths I haven't heard before, Francine. 1041 00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:35,119 I may need to speak to someone from another planet. 1042 00:52:35,253 --> 00:52:39,457 The function of the artist is to triumph over life. 1043 00:52:39,590 --> 00:52:41,459 -[Francine] Snuggies! -It certainly is. 1044 00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:46,096 What about the writers and artists coming to Midland City? 1045 00:52:46,231 --> 00:52:46,997 What? 1046 00:52:47,698 --> 00:52:49,800 Maybe you should talk to one of them. 1047 00:52:49,934 --> 00:52:51,336 Mr. Kilgore Trout. 1048 00:52:51,469 --> 00:52:52,370 Trout. [echoing] 1049 00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:54,972 Kilgore Trout. Wow. [echoing] 1050 00:52:55,105 --> 00:52:57,808 [lounge music playing] 1051 00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:02,680 * Bunny, Bunny Hoover Bunny, the crooner, Hoover * 1052 00:53:02,813 --> 00:53:05,216 * Mr. Rhythm Mover * 1053 00:53:05,350 --> 00:53:06,817 Let me have a vodka cranberry, will ya? 1054 00:53:06,951 --> 00:53:09,354 -Got a bladder infection. -[bartender] Right. 1055 00:53:09,487 --> 00:53:13,358 * Weekdays to please at Best Western Apollo Inn and Lounge * 1056 00:53:13,491 --> 00:53:19,230 * And sometimes So I don't have to scrounge * 1057 00:53:19,364 --> 00:53:23,534 * At the competition, yeah * 1058 00:53:23,668 --> 00:53:25,370 I'm sure that's enough hairspray, Francine. 1059 00:53:25,503 --> 00:53:27,872 -Dwayne, just--Just a little. -Fine. Looks fine. 1060 00:53:28,005 --> 00:53:31,409 [bouncy organ music playing] 1061 00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,210 [Francine] Hi. 1062 00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:36,381 [receptionist] Checking out so soon? You just got here. 1063 00:53:38,416 --> 00:53:40,818 Hey, everybody, now here's a must. 1064 00:53:40,951 --> 00:53:44,021 In the lobby it's Dwayne Hoover, the man you can trust. 1065 00:53:44,489 --> 00:53:46,724 -[scattered applause] -And there's the lovely 1066 00:53:46,857 --> 00:53:47,825 -Francine Pefko, -No! 1067 00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,727 Daddy's secretary from the get-go. 1068 00:53:49,860 --> 00:53:51,095 -[wolf whistle] -Dwayne! 1069 00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,298 -Isn't that your son, George? -Yes, that's George. 1070 00:53:53,431 --> 00:54:00,405 * Can do Francine, I can do Can do a little treasure * 1071 00:54:00,538 --> 00:54:03,240 -Come on, Francine, let's go. -Hi, George. 1072 00:54:03,374 --> 00:54:05,276 -We're leaving. -* Daddy's pleasure * 1073 00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:06,644 I didn't know he was in show business 1074 00:54:06,777 --> 00:54:09,013 or that he had a show-business name like Bunny. 1075 00:54:09,146 --> 00:54:13,818 * Bunny Hoover can do, yeah * 1076 00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,754 [bouncy organ music continues] 1077 00:54:16,887 --> 00:54:19,590 You're loaded with talent, kid. You know that. 1078 00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:21,892 -Yeah? -Absolutely. 1079 00:54:22,026 --> 00:54:25,229 [car horns blowing] 1080 00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:35,139 -[car horns blowing] -[indistinct chatter] 1081 00:54:37,342 --> 00:54:38,776 Did you ever wonder how they get each one 1082 00:54:38,909 --> 00:54:40,277 to taste exactly the same? 1083 00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:42,212 [Dwayne honking] 1084 00:54:42,347 --> 00:54:43,681 Of course, you don't. 1085 00:54:43,814 --> 00:54:46,250 You've got too many other things on your mind, bigger things. 1086 00:54:46,384 --> 00:54:48,453 I just pray each Sunday that I'll be taken care of, 1087 00:54:48,586 --> 00:54:49,487 but you ask questions. 1088 00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:51,589 What is going on here? 1089 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:57,261 Everything all right, Mother? 1090 00:54:57,395 --> 00:55:02,232 -[humming] -Mom? Mom! Mother! 1091 00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:07,938 [sighs] 1092 00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:10,240 [Dwayne honking] 1093 00:55:12,142 --> 00:55:13,578 It's Dwayne Hoover. 1094 00:55:16,781 --> 00:55:19,116 -Hmm! Look, it's Fred T. Barry. -Hello, Dwayne! 1095 00:55:19,249 --> 00:55:21,352 And we just saw him on television. 1096 00:55:21,486 --> 00:55:23,521 [car honking] 1097 00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:26,123 We've located World Classics Library. 1098 00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:29,427 What is World Classics Library? 1099 00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:31,128 Kilgore Trout's publisher. 1100 00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:35,132 -Mmm! Listen. -[radio] This is Fred T. Barry 1101 00:55:35,265 --> 00:55:36,567 -on behalf of... -It's Fred T. Barry 1102 00:55:36,701 --> 00:55:39,970 on the radio, and he's right next to us. 1103 00:55:40,104 --> 00:55:41,305 [cars honking] 1104 00:55:41,439 --> 00:55:43,841 Do you suppose that means something, Dwayne? 1105 00:55:43,974 --> 00:55:47,077 [radio continues] 1106 00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:49,013 [tires squealing] 1107 00:55:49,146 --> 00:55:51,382 [radio] ...novelist Mr. Kilgore Trout. 1108 00:55:51,516 --> 00:55:52,717 Kilgore Trout. 1109 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,652 -[car horn blowing] -[Francine] Hey! 1110 00:55:54,785 --> 00:55:56,554 You're gonna get us killed! 1111 00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:58,756 -Francine, take a memo! -[horn honking] 1112 00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:00,190 -[tires squealing] -[car horns blowing] 1113 00:56:00,324 --> 00:56:03,694 -Mr. Hoover! -[honks] Turn around, jackass! 1114 00:56:03,828 --> 00:56:04,995 [man] What are you, nuts? 1115 00:56:05,129 --> 00:56:06,597 I want to meet with Kilgore Trout this weekend 1116 00:56:06,731 --> 00:56:08,065 when he comes to Midland City. 1117 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,167 You better start driving sensibly, A.S.A.P., 1118 00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:11,335 and I am not kidding! 1119 00:56:11,469 --> 00:56:13,037 Just take the gosh-darn memo! 1120 00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:14,171 -[Francine gasps] -[cars honking] 1121 00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:16,674 [tires screeching] 1122 00:56:19,143 --> 00:56:21,045 Oh! 1123 00:56:21,746 --> 00:56:23,948 What kind of name is Kilgore Trout? 1124 00:56:24,081 --> 00:56:26,050 On the planet, everything is reversed. 1125 00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:28,352 -[traveling music playing] -It's chaos. 1126 00:56:29,554 --> 00:56:33,491 And the inhabitants live under the snow to keep warm. 1127 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:36,326 They've evolved-- 1128 00:56:39,497 --> 00:56:43,267 They've evolved nails on what we would call their feet. 1129 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:47,104 They're quadrupeds, and they got eight nails so they don't slip. 1130 00:56:47,505 --> 00:56:49,206 And the sun. They don't go in the sun, 1131 00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,341 because the sun's reversed. It's cold. 1132 00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:54,344 It's a cold sun. Cold sun. 1133 00:56:54,579 --> 00:56:57,281 Chaos. It's chaos. 1134 00:56:57,414 --> 00:57:03,754 Everything's kind of backwards. "Soahc. Soahc." 1135 00:57:04,221 --> 00:57:07,091 [car approaches] 1136 00:57:08,526 --> 00:57:12,329 [spiritual music playing] 1137 00:57:12,563 --> 00:57:15,633 Eliot, I have come to discuss the Arts Festival, 1138 00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,402 and the arrangements for the El Greco. 1139 00:57:19,704 --> 00:57:23,307 [Eliot] Did you find the writer? Kilgore Trout? 1140 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,075 Yes, we did. 1141 00:57:25,209 --> 00:57:26,644 Wonderful. 1142 00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:30,080 I-Is he coming here to Midland City? 1143 00:57:30,214 --> 00:57:32,316 Yes, Eliot, he is. 1144 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:33,718 Wonderful! 1145 00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:39,089 Eliot, do you know where Kilgore Trout's stories appear? 1146 00:57:39,223 --> 00:57:43,127 They appear in porno smut magazines! 1147 00:57:44,729 --> 00:57:45,930 Tell him, Howell. 1148 00:57:46,063 --> 00:57:47,998 Yes, sir. 1149 00:57:48,132 --> 00:57:51,502 Whips and Other Trips, Hard Thing and Black Garter Belt. 1150 00:57:52,169 --> 00:57:56,206 You mean like this? 1151 00:57:59,544 --> 00:58:04,414 What I know is that Kilgore Trout 1152 00:58:04,549 --> 00:58:08,485 should win the Nobel Prize for Literature. 1153 00:58:12,590 --> 00:58:15,526 [disembodied voice] Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1154 00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:18,295 Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1155 00:58:18,428 --> 00:58:21,198 Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1156 00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:24,201 Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1157 00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:27,071 Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1158 00:58:27,204 --> 00:58:30,240 Kilgore Trout. Kilgore Trout. 1159 00:58:30,374 --> 00:58:31,609 Kilgore Trout. 1160 00:58:41,919 --> 00:58:43,253 [woman on TV] To enhance your life, 1161 00:58:43,387 --> 00:58:46,490 Panasonic technology brings you the information. 1162 00:58:46,624 --> 00:58:47,825 What you may not know is 1163 00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:49,093 that we also bring you the long-lasting, 1164 00:58:49,226 --> 00:58:50,527 high-performance batteries you need. 1165 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:53,831 The Plus Alkaline battery from Panasonic. 1166 00:58:53,964 --> 00:58:57,001 [woman 2] This guy looks forward to only one thing. 1167 00:58:57,134 --> 00:58:58,803 Simmons back care. 1168 00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:00,104 [newscaster] 12 people were overcome 1169 00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:01,772 by toxic fumes this morning 1170 00:59:01,906 --> 00:59:05,009 and were evacuated from their homes at Sugar Creek Estates. 1171 00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:08,012 -[comforting music playing] -Celia? 1172 00:59:08,145 --> 00:59:09,546 [woman] Sure, we're having good times... 1173 00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:11,415 Are you really there? 1174 00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:13,383 [man] Kelly Robinson thinks back to the day 1175 00:59:13,517 --> 00:59:15,052 she called Prodigal Trust. 1176 00:59:15,185 --> 00:59:16,553 They're not happy, Dwayne. 1177 00:59:16,687 --> 00:59:17,855 [woman] Bills were adding up, 1178 00:59:17,988 --> 00:59:19,156 then there's Scott's new school, 1179 00:59:19,289 --> 00:59:20,925 but we thought, "Hey, we can handle this." 1180 00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,127 Then John's company downsized. 1181 00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:24,962 So, John's trying to find a new job, 1182 00:59:25,095 --> 00:59:26,030 meanwhile, all these bill collectors... 1183 00:59:26,163 --> 00:59:27,698 [Dwayne] That's right. 1184 00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:31,669 Nobody's happy. They're just trying to sell you something. 1185 00:59:31,802 --> 00:59:34,271 Got so bad we even considered filing for bankruptcy. 1186 00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:36,573 But they're together. 1187 00:59:36,707 --> 00:59:38,442 A real family. 1188 00:59:38,575 --> 00:59:40,210 We're gonna be okay. 1189 00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:41,912 They're not a real family. 1190 00:59:42,046 --> 00:59:43,547 They're not real. They're not real people. 1191 00:59:44,048 --> 00:59:47,317 Real people worry about being surprised, Celia. 1192 00:59:47,451 --> 00:59:50,254 They worry about people jumping out at them, 1193 00:59:50,387 --> 00:59:52,556 shouting their name at inappropriate times. 1194 00:59:52,690 --> 00:59:54,424 They worry about being carted off to the bughouse. 1195 00:59:54,558 --> 00:59:56,894 [man] We've been taking care of people for more than 35 years. 1196 00:59:57,027 --> 00:59:58,796 Now they're happy. 1197 00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:01,699 Celia, snap out of it! They're not real, okay? Real people 1198 01:00:01,832 --> 01:00:04,301 don't stand around in the grass like that, all right? 1199 01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:06,136 [man on TV] Trust Financial Planners. 1200 01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:09,306 They're not real. They're just lying to you. They're hired 1201 01:00:09,439 --> 01:00:11,742 to lie to you. That's their job on TV! 1202 01:00:11,876 --> 01:00:13,443 -You can't trust these people. -[Dwayne on TV] Hey, folks! 1203 01:00:13,577 --> 01:00:14,779 Dwayne Hoover, slashing prices. 1204 01:00:14,912 --> 01:00:16,814 We're going bananas down here for Hawaiian Week. 1205 01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:21,185 Hey, ask anybody. You can trust Dwayne Hoover. 1206 01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:23,153 I'd trust you, Dwayne. 1207 01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:25,355 If only you'd tell me which... 1208 01:00:25,489 --> 01:00:26,724 [channel changes] 1209 01:00:26,857 --> 01:00:28,192 Dwayne to trust. 1210 01:00:28,325 --> 01:00:30,260 What is that supposed to mean, hmm? 1211 01:00:30,594 --> 01:00:33,898 Hmm, Celia? Is that another one of your little secret messages? 1212 01:00:34,431 --> 01:00:36,667 Are you telling me that you're leaving me, Celia? Is that it? 1213 01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:38,736 'Cause if you're telling me that just go ahead and tell me, 1214 01:00:38,869 --> 01:00:40,671 because I can take it. I can take almost anything these days. 1215 01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:42,673 I feel pretty much alone most of the time anyway, 1216 01:00:42,807 --> 01:00:46,076 -to tell you the truth. -What I'm trying to say is... 1217 01:00:46,210 --> 01:00:49,013 whether we're together... 1218 01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:50,380 or apart... 1219 01:00:50,514 --> 01:00:53,217 ["Night Blue" by Edward Holmes playing] 1220 01:00:53,350 --> 01:00:55,152 the moments between us... 1221 01:00:55,285 --> 01:00:57,287 ["Night Blue" continuing] 1222 01:00:57,421 --> 01:01:00,190 have always existed... 1223 01:01:02,426 --> 01:01:03,994 and will always... 1224 01:01:08,933 --> 01:01:10,134 [sets glass down] 1225 01:01:12,970 --> 01:01:14,038 [man on TV] Famalton, 1226 01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:16,406 the easy formula for stress relief. 1227 01:01:17,307 --> 01:01:18,408 ...exist. 1228 01:01:18,542 --> 01:01:22,146 Make each day as good as the best day. 1229 01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:24,949 Hmm. 1230 01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:28,953 So you see what I'm saying about management, kid. 1231 01:01:29,086 --> 01:01:29,987 You just need a little guidance-- 1232 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,421 [gunshot banging] 1233 01:01:31,555 --> 01:01:34,024 Jesus. That sounded like a gunshot. 1234 01:01:34,324 --> 01:01:35,192 Mommy! 1235 01:01:35,926 --> 01:01:37,661 Wait a minute, kid. I'll come with ya. 1236 01:01:37,962 --> 01:01:41,131 -[dog barking] -[footsteps approaching] 1237 01:01:42,166 --> 01:01:44,168 Pops, don't shoot. It's me. 1238 01:01:44,301 --> 01:01:47,537 Don't shoot me either. I'm interested in handling his act. 1239 01:01:47,671 --> 01:01:49,173 This isn't the first time I've had a gun pointed-- 1240 01:01:49,306 --> 01:01:51,575 Don't light that in here. This is a nonsmoking household. 1241 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:53,377 Fair enough. I'll be outside when you're ready, Bunny. 1242 01:01:53,510 --> 01:01:56,213 -His name is George. -George. 1243 01:01:59,884 --> 01:02:01,518 Did you shoot Mommy? 1244 01:02:03,020 --> 01:02:07,057 You were elected cadet colonel at the Prairie Military Academy. 1245 01:02:07,191 --> 01:02:08,893 It was the highest rank you could achieve 1246 01:02:09,026 --> 01:02:10,094 in your senior year. 1247 01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:12,396 It was supposed to make a man out of you. 1248 01:02:12,963 --> 01:02:14,431 Why would I want that? 1249 01:02:15,432 --> 01:02:17,802 What men do is so often cruel and ugly. 1250 01:02:18,702 --> 01:02:21,205 [dog barking] 1251 01:02:22,306 --> 01:02:24,474 You looked like your mother just then. 1252 01:02:27,211 --> 01:02:29,013 [Celia] Oh, baby. 1253 01:02:32,883 --> 01:02:34,051 [Dwayne] Go to your room. 1254 01:02:35,385 --> 01:02:36,787 Yes, sir. 1255 01:02:39,223 --> 01:02:41,758 [dog barking] 1256 01:02:45,896 --> 01:02:49,666 [TV crackling] 1257 01:02:52,202 --> 01:02:55,405 [tense music playing] 1258 01:03:00,410 --> 01:03:01,979 -[thunder crashing] -The asshole of the universe 1259 01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:04,214 ain't Midland City. It's Libertyville, Georgia. 1260 01:03:05,215 --> 01:03:08,953 -You ever seen Libertyville? -No, haven't had the pleasure. 1261 01:03:10,187 --> 01:03:11,255 Yeah, about 10 years ago 1262 01:03:11,388 --> 01:03:13,157 I got caught in a speed trap down there. 1263 01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:15,292 Got a little mad and took a swing at the cop. 1264 01:03:15,425 --> 01:03:16,760 They put me in jail. 1265 01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:20,130 [thunder crashing] 1266 01:03:20,264 --> 01:03:21,631 Main industry down there is pulping. 1267 01:03:21,765 --> 01:03:22,799 [tense music continuing] 1268 01:03:22,933 --> 01:03:24,534 Got trucks bringing in hundreds of tons 1269 01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:28,072 of unwanted printed material to Libertyville every day. 1270 01:03:28,205 --> 01:03:30,107 -Paper pulping. -Yeah, paper pulping. 1271 01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:31,275 They got so many books down there, 1272 01:03:31,408 --> 01:03:32,509 they use it for toilet paper. 1273 01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:33,777 I sat in jail for two days 1274 01:03:33,911 --> 01:03:35,712 with nothing to do but read my toilet paper. 1275 01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:38,248 I still remember one of the stories that I read. This story 1276 01:03:38,382 --> 01:03:40,550 was about as crazy as anything you ever come across. 1277 01:03:40,684 --> 01:03:42,819 It was the last story I ever read, as a matter of fact. 1278 01:03:42,953 --> 01:03:45,522 It was about another planet where... 1279 01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:48,358 some government guy used a roulette wheel to decide which 1280 01:03:48,492 --> 01:03:51,795 artwork to put in the museums and which to keep out. 1281 01:03:51,929 --> 01:03:53,697 The roulette wheel is rigged, and then 1282 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:56,300 the guy-- this whatever you call, the... 1283 01:03:56,433 --> 01:03:58,102 -uh, uh-- -The Barring-gaffner. 1284 01:03:58,235 --> 01:04:01,171 -Yeah, the Barring--Yeah. Yeah! -[thunder crashing] 1285 01:04:02,772 --> 01:04:06,376 [chuckling] Hey! That's right. 1286 01:04:06,510 --> 01:04:09,179 The toilet paper you read in Libertyville jail was 1287 01:04:09,313 --> 01:04:12,049 The Barring-gaffner of Bagnialto... 1288 01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:14,451 or This Year's Masterpiece by Kilgore Trout. 1289 01:04:14,584 --> 01:04:17,354 -[tense music continuing] -You actually read that thing? 1290 01:04:17,487 --> 01:04:20,124 Yeah, of course I read it. [chuckles] 1291 01:04:20,257 --> 01:04:21,825 [driver] Boy, what is his name? Trout? 1292 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:23,928 He must be half cracked, don't you think? 1293 01:04:24,061 --> 01:04:28,032 Well, he, uh, was self-educated, if that's what you mean. 1294 01:04:28,165 --> 01:04:32,336 He didn't finish high school, but he could quote Shakespeare. 1295 01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:33,570 -"All the world's a stage. -[thunder crashing] 1296 01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:35,472 "All the men and women are merely players." 1297 01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:38,675 Yeah. Didn't make any sense. 1298 01:04:38,808 --> 01:04:42,246 -[tense music continuing] -It was chaos. 1299 01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:44,848 You got that right. 1300 01:04:45,983 --> 01:04:48,919 [thunder crashing] 1301 01:04:50,187 --> 01:04:52,056 Why would you ever read that nutty story 1302 01:04:52,189 --> 01:04:53,357 if you didn't have to? 1303 01:04:53,857 --> 01:04:56,793 [thunder crashing] 1304 01:05:03,467 --> 01:05:08,705 Why, it takes all kinds of people to make up a world. 1305 01:05:08,838 --> 01:05:10,374 -[tense music continuing] -[thunder crashing] 1306 01:05:10,507 --> 01:05:15,612 Hey, folks, it's me, Dwayne Hoover. [echoing] 1307 01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:20,084 -[car rushing] -[twinkling music] 1308 01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:24,888 -[mysterious music playing] -[elephant trumpeting] 1309 01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:35,899 [tires screeching] 1310 01:05:36,033 --> 01:05:40,404 [tires screeching] 1311 01:05:42,139 --> 01:05:43,640 -[elephant trumpeting] -[spring boinging] 1312 01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:46,476 -Ooh. -[light beeping] 1313 01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:49,246 Good morning, Mr. Hoover. [echoing] 1314 01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:54,484 -[elephant trumpeting] -Good morning, Mr. Hoover. 1315 01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:59,189 [people shouting, echoing] Dwayne Hoover! 1316 01:05:59,323 --> 01:06:00,824 Mr. Hoover, we are interested in something 1317 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:02,326 that hauls like a truck, 1318 01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:04,461 -but drives like a luxury sedan. -[mysterious music continuing] 1319 01:06:04,594 --> 01:06:06,796 Yeah, yeah, and with convenience at our fingertips. 1320 01:06:06,930 --> 01:06:08,332 Gonna get a TV set today. 1321 01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:10,034 I swear, maybe you might come over for dinner. 1322 01:06:10,167 --> 01:06:11,668 Dinner, dinner, dinner. [echoing] 1323 01:06:14,138 --> 01:06:15,139 [elephant trumpeting] 1324 01:06:15,272 --> 01:06:17,274 -Tell me something. -Yeah? 1325 01:06:17,407 --> 01:06:19,776 -Take a look over--over there. -[mysterious music continuing] 1326 01:06:19,909 --> 01:06:24,681 You see the young man... wearing a suit, 5'10 and a half? 1327 01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:25,815 -Yeah. -Yes. 1328 01:06:25,949 --> 01:06:27,084 -Good. -[Wayne whipping rag] 1329 01:06:27,217 --> 01:06:30,054 Go talk to him. He'll take good care of ya. 1330 01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:33,223 [woman] But, Mr. Hoover, we want to buy a car from you! 1331 01:06:33,357 --> 01:06:36,526 -You. [echoing] -[bell ringing, animal noises] 1332 01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:40,130 [relaxing music playing] 1333 01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:48,172 [bird squawking] 1334 01:06:52,909 --> 01:06:54,611 [door chimes] 1335 01:06:54,744 --> 01:06:55,979 [Dwayne sighs] 1336 01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:01,651 [relaxing music continuing] 1337 01:07:03,487 --> 01:07:06,190 [phone ringing] 1338 01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:17,067 Dwayne! Buddies. 1339 01:07:17,201 --> 01:07:20,537 [music continues] 1340 01:07:21,505 --> 01:07:22,872 [gasps] 1341 01:07:23,807 --> 01:07:25,842 Princes, Pa-Poo-La. 1342 01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,845 * Have plenty papaya Oh, me, oh, my-a * 1343 01:07:28,978 --> 01:07:30,347 [Harry chuckles] 1344 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:34,484 * You ought to really try a piece of Pa-Poo-La's papaya * 1345 01:07:34,618 --> 01:07:36,820 Hawaii! Aloha! 1346 01:07:36,953 --> 01:07:39,055 [Dwayne gasping] 1347 01:07:39,189 --> 01:07:42,492 -[phone ringing] -Oh, buddies? Oh, Dwayne. 1348 01:07:42,626 --> 01:07:45,495 -Look. You know, I got colors. -[relaxing music continuing] 1349 01:07:45,629 --> 01:07:48,298 I got pink, and the leotards are green. 1350 01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:50,900 You said to... [stammering] 1351 01:07:51,034 --> 01:07:52,769 [phone ringing] 1352 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:54,304 Oh, God. 1353 01:07:55,172 --> 01:07:59,309 Oh. Ah. Um-- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 1354 01:07:59,443 --> 01:08:05,014 Oh! Ow! Oh, God. Oh. Ooh. 1355 01:08:06,216 --> 01:08:11,388 -[music continues] -[Dwayne panting] 1356 01:08:11,521 --> 01:08:14,057 [phone ringing] 1357 01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,274 -Francine. -[phone ringing] 1358 01:08:30,407 --> 01:08:32,742 I may ask you to slip away with me again today. 1359 01:08:32,876 --> 01:08:34,978 Oh, you may ask. You may ask, 1360 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:38,114 but I wouldn't go in a million years. 1361 01:08:39,649 --> 01:08:42,118 [phone ringing] 1362 01:08:42,252 --> 01:08:44,654 Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Motor Village. May I help you, please? 1363 01:08:44,788 --> 01:08:47,657 -[monkeys hooting] -Just one moment, please. 1364 01:08:48,225 --> 01:08:49,926 It's for you, Mr. Hoover. 1365 01:08:50,059 --> 01:08:52,462 Oh, I guess you're not accepting calls today. 1366 01:08:52,596 --> 01:08:57,000 Unless I take a G. D. memo, I forget every little thing-- 1367 01:08:57,133 --> 01:09:00,604 [mumbling] Mr. Hoover, what are you doing? 1368 01:09:01,938 --> 01:09:03,707 [Francine sighs] 1369 01:09:04,674 --> 01:09:05,442 [voice shaky] Hello? 1370 01:09:05,575 --> 01:09:07,211 My name is Horace Durenwurst. 1371 01:09:07,344 --> 01:09:10,380 I am with the EPA. I'd like to ask you some questions 1372 01:09:10,514 --> 01:09:14,518 regarding the soil toxicity at Sugar Creek Estates. 1373 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:16,786 -[phone hangs up] -[relaxing music continues] 1374 01:09:18,955 --> 01:09:21,658 If that man calls back, you tell him I've moved away. 1375 01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:25,462 Tell him I've moved to Manitoba. It's in Canada. 1376 01:09:28,365 --> 01:09:30,667 [elephant trumpeting] 1377 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,503 -[phone ringing] -[exotic music playing] 1378 01:09:33,637 --> 01:09:34,971 [Grace sighs] 1379 01:09:37,774 --> 01:09:39,142 -Hello? -[Harry] Grace, 1380 01:09:39,276 --> 01:09:41,511 he didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. 1381 01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:43,213 -He just stood there. -Fuck him, Harry. 1382 01:09:43,347 --> 01:09:45,682 The grass skirt fell off and, uh.. 1383 01:09:45,815 --> 01:09:48,552 To him, obviously, I'm revolting. 1384 01:09:48,685 --> 01:09:50,720 [Grace sighs] Harry, how many times do I have to tell you 1385 01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:52,822 not to be ashamed of what's underneath? 1386 01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:55,225 Oh, God, let's just get to Hawaii as soon as we can. 1387 01:09:55,359 --> 01:10:00,029 Yes. Yes, you know, Grace, I think you're right. 1388 01:10:00,163 --> 01:10:03,967 -I know I'm right. -You're so wise, Grace. 1389 01:10:05,502 --> 01:10:07,804 You know... 1390 01:10:07,937 --> 01:10:10,507 I'll get us two tickets to Hawaii. 1391 01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:14,344 I'll fix the drawing. I'll get us two tickets to Hawaii. 1392 01:10:14,478 --> 01:10:17,146 Oh, that's the best idea you've had since you quit therapy. 1393 01:10:17,281 --> 01:10:18,848 [traveling music] 1394 01:10:19,048 --> 01:10:20,450 [driver] Oh, boy, oh, boy, look at that. 1395 01:10:20,584 --> 01:10:22,085 Now, what's that all about? Those co-ed sex stories 1396 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,520 they used to have in college, huh? 1397 01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:26,356 It's a science fiction novel written several years ago. 1398 01:10:26,490 --> 01:10:28,525 The premise is that life's an experiment 1399 01:10:28,658 --> 01:10:30,894 by the creator of the universe. 1400 01:10:31,027 --> 01:10:32,462 And he wants to test some new creature 1401 01:10:32,596 --> 01:10:35,198 he's thinking of introducing into the scheme of things. 1402 01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:37,701 The creature has the ability to make up his own mind, 1403 01:10:37,834 --> 01:10:40,937 and all the other creatures are fully automated robots. 1404 01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:42,639 Robots? That does not describe me, 1405 01:10:42,772 --> 01:10:45,742 Andy Wojeckowzski. No, sir, I'm my own boss. 1406 01:10:45,875 --> 01:10:48,244 Right down the highway, baby. [laughing] Come on. 1407 01:10:48,378 --> 01:10:49,746 The book takes the form of a long letter 1408 01:10:49,879 --> 01:10:51,281 from the creator of the universe 1409 01:10:51,415 --> 01:10:53,817 to the experimental creature. 1410 01:10:53,950 --> 01:10:55,184 [driver] That's nice. So where do the naked 1411 01:10:55,319 --> 01:10:56,886 sorority girls come into? 1412 01:10:57,020 --> 01:10:58,555 They don't. 1413 01:10:58,688 --> 01:11:00,490 That's just stupid. 1414 01:11:00,624 --> 01:11:01,825 I mean, that's dumb. 1415 01:11:01,958 --> 01:11:03,360 I mean, who'd wanna publish something like that? 1416 01:11:03,493 --> 01:11:04,628 Who'd wanna write something like that? 1417 01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:05,729 But hey, that's just my opinion. 1418 01:11:05,862 --> 01:11:08,064 [chuckling] You know what I'm saying? 1419 01:11:08,197 --> 01:11:09,065 Man! 1420 01:11:09,966 --> 01:11:10,834 Stupid. 1421 01:11:12,168 --> 01:11:13,303 [slide whistle whizzing] 1422 01:11:13,437 --> 01:11:15,071 [rhythmic music playing] 1423 01:11:15,204 --> 01:11:17,040 [Harry] You know those glasses that Dwayne wears? 1424 01:11:17,173 --> 01:11:18,575 -[monkeys hooting] -He doesn't need 'em. 1425 01:11:18,708 --> 01:11:21,244 He just wears 'em because he thinks it makes him look smart. 1426 01:11:22,278 --> 01:11:24,614 -He's bald, too. -[monkeys hooting] 1427 01:11:24,748 --> 01:11:27,150 That's why he combs his hair over to the side like that, 1428 01:11:27,283 --> 01:11:28,818 to cover up the bald spot. 1429 01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:31,421 When the wind blows, it stands straight up. 1430 01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:33,990 -He looks like Baby Huey. -[monkeys chittering] 1431 01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:36,259 He's got a small penis, too. 1432 01:11:37,260 --> 01:11:41,465 I suppose we all want to have large penises though, don't we? 1433 01:11:41,598 --> 01:11:44,534 Anyway, here, fill out this entry form, 1434 01:11:44,668 --> 01:11:45,802 and I'll take care of everything else. 1435 01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:47,637 I'm not goin' anywhere, man! 1436 01:11:47,771 --> 01:11:49,606 Well, that's the point. You don't have to. 1437 01:11:49,739 --> 01:11:52,008 Just fill this out for me. I'll take care of the rest. 1438 01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:53,677 Drawing's this afternoon. 1439 01:11:53,810 --> 01:11:56,546 -Hey, Mr. Hoover! -Oh, Jesus Christ! 1440 01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:58,982 [Harry] Tell him you saw me. I changed my clothes. 1441 01:12:00,083 --> 01:12:03,853 -[relaxing music] -[honking horn] 1442 01:12:04,954 --> 01:12:07,123 [Harry] Forget it! You haven't seen me! 1443 01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:19,335 [tissue paper rustling] 1444 01:12:20,870 --> 01:12:23,440 [pills clattering] 1445 01:12:30,980 --> 01:12:34,618 [sad violin music playing] 1446 01:12:38,254 --> 01:12:42,626 -[birds chirping] -[sad music continues] 1447 01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:46,896 [lounge music playing] 1448 01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:50,667 [sad violin music playing] 1449 01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:59,008 [lounge music playing] 1450 01:12:59,142 --> 01:13:02,746 [sad violin music playing] 1451 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:18,061 [triumphant music playing] 1452 01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:21,164 Oh! And the winner is... 1453 01:13:21,297 --> 01:13:25,101 -[monkeys hooting] -Wayne Hoobler of Midland City! 1454 01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,936 -[scattered applause] -[relaxing music playing] 1455 01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:29,439 Well, Mr. Hoobler, if you're watching, 1456 01:13:29,573 --> 01:13:31,875 you have just won first prize... 1457 01:13:32,008 --> 01:13:36,145 which is a round-trip ticket for two to beautiful Hawaii! 1458 01:13:38,414 --> 01:13:42,118 I am sure, I am sure that Dwayne Hoover, 1459 01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:43,953 the generous and benevolent owner 1460 01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,489 -Benevolent? Christ, Harry. -of Exit 11 Motor Village. 1461 01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:47,724 -Haven't I taught you anything? -[Harry continuing indistinctly] 1462 01:13:47,857 --> 01:13:49,358 -[relaxing music continuing] -...a choice of islands, 1463 01:13:49,493 --> 01:13:53,129 -including Maui! -[applause, cheering] 1464 01:13:53,262 --> 01:13:57,000 How about that, Wayne Hoobler of Midland City! Yes! 1465 01:13:57,701 --> 01:13:59,102 [water sloshing] 1466 01:13:59,235 --> 01:14:04,273 And now, this, this voyage... this, this wonderful voyage... 1467 01:14:04,407 --> 01:14:07,844 this, this exploration into, uh... 1468 01:14:07,977 --> 01:14:10,847 into, uh... into what--into the, uh 1469 01:14:10,980 --> 01:14:14,784 secret hiding places... where what is the, uh... 1470 01:14:14,918 --> 01:14:16,986 Oh, my God, Harry. Shut your mouth. 1471 01:14:17,120 --> 01:14:19,756 Wonderful, beautiful sanctuaries of peace. 1472 01:14:19,889 --> 01:14:22,191 The peace of it all and the... 1473 01:14:22,692 --> 01:14:25,995 the terrible, horrible, horrible war years where-- 1474 01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,498 -where all the private clubs... -He was never in the army. 1475 01:14:28,632 --> 01:14:29,799 and down and down into the... 1476 01:14:29,933 --> 01:14:31,200 -sordid underbelly! -What's gotten into Harry? 1477 01:14:31,334 --> 01:14:34,437 Down into the bottom where it's members only! 1478 01:14:34,571 --> 01:14:36,139 -[man] Geez, this is live. -And the cruel name-calling. 1479 01:14:36,272 --> 01:14:39,008 The naming, naming, naming! The terrible hurt! 1480 01:14:39,142 --> 01:14:40,309 [whistle blowing] 1481 01:14:40,610 --> 01:14:43,112 But the hunger, the wonderful hunger, 1482 01:14:43,246 --> 01:14:45,882 -for some sort of full play, -[relaxing music continues] 1483 01:14:46,015 --> 01:14:47,216 -full swing, -[animal noises] 1484 01:14:47,350 --> 01:14:49,619 plenty of rope, a little elbow room. 1485 01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:53,322 No more mountains! No more mountains. 1486 01:14:54,190 --> 01:14:56,760 -[ship horn blowing] -[Harry panting] 1487 01:14:56,893 --> 01:14:58,528 -I'm sorry. Sorry. -[ship horn blowing] 1488 01:14:58,662 --> 01:15:00,296 I've got the tickets right here. 1489 01:15:00,429 --> 01:15:01,798 ["Strangers in Paradise" playing] 1490 01:15:01,931 --> 01:15:05,134 No, the tickets are-- well, I had the tickets. I have tickets. 1491 01:15:05,268 --> 01:15:08,972 -They're right here--Oh! Oh! Oh! -[audience gasping] 1492 01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:12,842 -Oh! Oh, my! Oh, my goodness. -[audience clamoring] 1493 01:15:12,976 --> 01:15:15,779 -[Harry stammering] -Huh? 1494 01:15:15,912 --> 01:15:17,647 Oh, my. Oh, my. [chuckling] 1495 01:15:18,582 --> 01:15:22,451 Go for it, big boy. Just go for it! 1496 01:15:22,586 --> 01:15:25,321 [Harry chuckling] Um... 1497 01:15:25,454 --> 01:15:26,455 [director] Pan to Mr. Hoover. 1498 01:15:26,590 --> 01:15:28,224 Mr. Hoover, you're on. You're live. 1499 01:15:29,993 --> 01:15:32,562 [audience clamoring] 1500 01:15:32,696 --> 01:15:35,565 I love you like a brother, Dwayne Hoover! Like a brother! 1501 01:15:35,699 --> 01:15:37,066 [man] We better get an ambulance. 1502 01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:38,367 -[Harry chuckling] -[relaxing music continues] 1503 01:15:38,501 --> 01:15:42,105 -[animal sounds] -[cars passing] 1504 01:15:46,075 --> 01:15:50,279 -[people clamoring] -[truck horn blaring] 1505 01:15:51,347 --> 01:15:54,383 -[car horns blowing] -[animal sounds] 1506 01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:58,888 -[trudging music playing] -[horns honking] 1507 01:15:59,022 --> 01:16:00,223 [man] Having a good day, old man? 1508 01:16:00,356 --> 01:16:02,391 I already know I look ridiculous! 1509 01:16:02,525 --> 01:16:05,695 [trudging music continuing] 1510 01:16:05,829 --> 01:16:09,465 I've made this long pilgrimage for an orgy of masochism. 1511 01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:13,603 Midland City, I have arrived. 1512 01:16:18,341 --> 01:16:22,712 [music continues] 1513 01:16:30,019 --> 01:16:32,956 [bubbling] 1514 01:16:43,532 --> 01:16:45,869 -Yoo-hoo, mister? -Huh? 1515 01:16:46,636 --> 01:16:49,806 -Are you going in there? -Why... 1516 01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:52,976 It's the only way to Midland City. 1517 01:16:54,310 --> 01:16:59,515 -Well, then, these will help. -I don't, don't need 'em. 1518 01:17:03,452 --> 01:17:04,654 Oh. 1519 01:17:12,729 --> 01:17:15,932 [grunts] The arts festival awaits me. 1520 01:17:16,065 --> 01:17:17,066 [groans] 1521 01:17:20,670 --> 01:17:23,072 [water bubbling] 1522 01:17:28,144 --> 01:17:31,547 [Kilgore] Ah. 1523 01:17:33,582 --> 01:17:35,618 [somber music playing] 1524 01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:39,455 Treat me like a cockroach, Midland City. 1525 01:17:39,588 --> 01:17:43,793 Feast your eyes on your miserable creator. 1526 01:17:46,329 --> 01:17:49,833 [music continues] 1527 01:17:58,908 --> 01:18:02,178 You've given me a life not worth of living, 1528 01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:04,948 but an iron will to live! 1529 01:18:06,549 --> 01:18:09,585 -[Kilgore grunting] -[music continues] 1530 01:18:12,922 --> 01:18:16,392 [sloshing] 1531 01:18:23,499 --> 01:18:27,436 [panting, groaning] 1532 01:18:35,144 --> 01:18:41,050 [music continues] 1533 01:18:46,422 --> 01:18:52,328 -Maui! Maui! Maui! -[siren wailing] 1534 01:18:55,031 --> 01:18:59,202 Maui! 1535 01:18:59,735 --> 01:19:02,705 -She's goin'. -[siren continuing] 1536 01:19:04,908 --> 01:19:06,109 [Dwayne] I just have too many cars. 1537 01:19:06,242 --> 01:19:07,410 -That's all! -Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1538 01:19:07,543 --> 01:19:09,178 -Just forget it, sir. -I can't forget it 1539 01:19:09,312 --> 01:19:12,348 because I should know my driver's license number. 1540 01:19:12,481 --> 01:19:14,050 Maria, she said if she was gonna-- 1541 01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:15,751 She came that way... 1542 01:19:15,885 --> 01:19:17,821 and then she said she would come this way-- 1543 01:19:17,954 --> 01:19:20,389 -[mumbling] -Who am I? 1544 01:19:20,523 --> 01:19:23,559 -[man mumbling] -[woman] Mr. Hoover, sir. 1545 01:19:23,692 --> 01:19:26,429 How are you this evening? What a pleasure. 1546 01:19:26,562 --> 01:19:29,632 -Is there anything-- -[whispering] Who am I? 1547 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:31,134 [both mumbling] 1548 01:19:31,267 --> 01:19:33,136 Please, someone just tell me who I am. 1549 01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:36,572 Sorry, Mr. Hoover. I did not realize that you were the owner. 1550 01:19:36,705 --> 01:19:38,674 I mean, I knew that you were the owner, but I didn't realize 1551 01:19:38,808 --> 01:19:41,110 you were the owner of this AmeriTel Inn. 1552 01:19:41,244 --> 01:19:42,711 I should have recognized. 1553 01:19:43,746 --> 01:19:45,949 Well, enjoy your stay at the AmeriTel Inn. 1554 01:19:46,082 --> 01:19:47,416 -[door shuts] -[Dwayne hiccups] 1555 01:19:47,583 --> 01:19:52,755 [light music] 1556 01:20:00,529 --> 01:20:03,466 [gasps] Mr. Trout... 1557 01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:07,703 [woman over speaker] Welcome to the Midland City Arts Festival. 1558 01:20:07,837 --> 01:20:10,239 The AmeriTel Inn invites you to join us tonight 1559 01:20:10,373 --> 01:20:12,341 at our cocktail lounge at 6:00 p.m. 1560 01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:15,278 to celebrate the first annual Midland City Arts Festival. 1561 01:20:15,411 --> 01:20:18,014 I look perfect for my mission. 1562 01:20:18,781 --> 01:20:22,318 [twinkling music playing] 1563 01:20:25,021 --> 01:20:28,257 [nature sounds] 1564 01:20:30,259 --> 01:20:33,062 Not now. Not now. 1565 01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:43,039 The Abominable Snowman has arrived. 1566 01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:45,374 Kidnapped from the slopes of Mt. Everest, 1567 01:20:45,508 --> 01:20:48,444 taken as slave to a bordello in Rio de Janeiro. 1568 01:20:48,577 --> 01:20:50,914 I've come for the Arts Festival of Midland City 1569 01:20:51,047 --> 01:20:52,681 to have myself acknowledged before I die... 1570 01:20:52,815 --> 01:20:55,851 as the great artist I believe myself to be. 1571 01:20:55,985 --> 01:20:58,054 Mr. Trout, I would know you anywhere. 1572 01:20:58,187 --> 01:21:00,289 Marlo, his bags, please. 1573 01:21:00,423 --> 01:21:01,724 Yes, ma'am. 1574 01:21:01,857 --> 01:21:04,994 Take these to his suite. Can I take your hat? 1575 01:21:05,294 --> 01:21:06,862 How do you know who I am? 1576 01:21:06,996 --> 01:21:08,197 It had to be you. 1577 01:21:08,331 --> 01:21:10,566 Nobody's ever known who I was before. 1578 01:21:10,699 --> 01:21:15,004 Kilgore Trout. I am Eliot Rosewater, 1579 01:21:15,638 --> 01:21:17,673 your greatest admirer. 1580 01:21:20,343 --> 01:21:21,777 You're Rosewater? 1581 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:23,412 You don't look like a person 1582 01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:24,780 -Sir... -who reads those magazines. 1583 01:21:24,914 --> 01:21:27,716 I have gathered to this date only 41 of your novels... 1584 01:21:27,850 --> 01:21:30,619 and 63 of your short stories. 1585 01:21:30,753 --> 01:21:33,156 And of course I've read them all. 1586 01:21:33,289 --> 01:21:35,224 You've read that much of my stuff? 1587 01:21:35,358 --> 01:21:38,227 Of course, please have a seat. 1588 01:21:38,627 --> 01:21:43,066 [Kilgore muttering indistinctly] 1589 01:21:43,199 --> 01:21:45,701 We are proud... 1590 01:21:45,834 --> 01:21:48,904 to be the first community to acknowledge 1591 01:21:49,038 --> 01:21:51,807 the greatness of Kilgore Trout. 1592 01:21:52,675 --> 01:21:56,179 Midland City is ready for a renaissance of you, sir. 1593 01:21:56,312 --> 01:21:59,882 And you, sir, shall be our Leonardo. 1594 01:22:02,751 --> 01:22:05,121 I regret that I must leave immediately 1595 01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:07,356 on Rosewater Foundation business. 1596 01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:12,695 But the honor, sir, has been entirely mine. 1597 01:22:13,229 --> 01:22:15,131 [angelic music] 1598 01:22:15,264 --> 01:22:17,100 [Eliot] Let's go, I need my shot. 1599 01:22:20,103 --> 01:22:22,271 That kid has books of mine? 1600 01:22:22,405 --> 01:22:26,409 Yes, and he let me read them all. 1601 01:22:26,542 --> 01:22:27,977 I loved them. 1602 01:22:29,078 --> 01:22:30,346 [grumbles] 1603 01:22:30,613 --> 01:22:33,582 More flowers than at a gangster's funeral. 1604 01:22:33,716 --> 01:22:36,819 Midland City seems to be getting behind the arts 1605 01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:38,487 in a great big way. 1606 01:22:38,621 --> 01:22:41,557 Well, like Mr. Rosewater said, 1607 01:22:41,690 --> 01:22:46,329 teach us to dance and sing and laugh and cry-- 1608 01:22:46,462 --> 01:22:50,499 Do I look like a dancer or singer or man of joy? 1609 01:22:50,633 --> 01:22:53,436 Would a man nourished by beauty look like this? Open your eyes. 1610 01:22:53,569 --> 01:22:55,604 My eyes are opened, 1611 01:22:55,738 --> 01:22:59,442 and I see someone who has dared to walk through the fires 1612 01:22:59,575 --> 01:23:02,845 of truth to the other side, 1613 01:23:02,978 --> 01:23:05,748 and come back to tell us about it. 1614 01:23:05,881 --> 01:23:10,386 [breathing heavily] 1615 01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:15,424 If there's anything you need, I mean anything, 1616 01:23:15,558 --> 01:23:18,161 don't be afraid to call me. 1617 01:23:19,162 --> 01:23:20,829 Ding-a-ling. 1618 01:23:20,963 --> 01:23:24,533 [concierge laughing] 1619 01:23:24,667 --> 01:23:25,468 Hm. 1620 01:23:30,306 --> 01:23:31,474 [door shuts] 1621 01:23:33,376 --> 01:23:34,977 [disembodied voice echoing] Dwayne. 1622 01:23:35,111 --> 01:23:38,647 [twinkling music playing] 1623 01:23:40,649 --> 01:23:41,950 Huh? 1624 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:46,855 -[twinkling music] -Dwayne. Dwayne. [echoing] 1625 01:23:48,624 --> 01:23:51,060 My feet are so hot. 1626 01:23:51,194 --> 01:23:53,829 I may never get this stuff off. 1627 01:23:56,532 --> 01:23:59,001 [phone ringing] 1628 01:24:01,770 --> 01:24:03,839 [phone ringing] 1629 01:24:06,709 --> 01:24:09,178 [phone ringing] 1630 01:24:13,015 --> 01:24:18,254 Kilgore Trout. [echoing] 1631 01:24:20,556 --> 01:24:23,292 All your questions will be answered tonight. 1632 01:24:23,526 --> 01:24:26,729 Look for me downstairs in the cocktail lounge! 1633 01:24:26,862 --> 01:24:27,663 [slams receiver down] 1634 01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:32,701 Kilgore Trout. 1635 01:24:33,236 --> 01:24:36,004 [breathing heavily] 1636 01:24:36,439 --> 01:24:37,673 Kilgore Trout. 1637 01:24:41,377 --> 01:24:43,412 -[lounge music playing] -[man] And just flap it right up 1638 01:24:43,546 --> 01:24:45,381 -to a blank white canvas. -[crowd murmuring] 1639 01:24:45,514 --> 01:24:48,584 Then I would put Day-Glo bars around it, and call it 1640 01:24:48,717 --> 01:24:52,855 caged shit. That's what I would do. Oh, man. 1641 01:24:52,988 --> 01:24:57,960 [indistinct chatter] 1642 01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:02,731 [lounge music continues] 1643 01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:08,504 Breakfast of champions. 1644 01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,908 You said that the last time you brought me my martini. 1645 01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:16,279 [waitress] I say it every time I serve a martini, Mr. Hoover. 1646 01:25:17,646 --> 01:25:19,482 That's probably why God invented these little small towns, 1647 01:25:19,615 --> 01:25:21,317 so people could keep saying the same stupid jokes 1648 01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:22,651 over and over again. 1649 01:25:26,021 --> 01:25:28,191 I just like to cheer people up. 1650 01:25:28,657 --> 01:25:29,625 That's all. 1651 01:25:31,327 --> 01:25:32,161 Okay. 1652 01:25:34,263 --> 01:25:37,733 Oh... Mr. Hoover, 1653 01:25:37,866 --> 01:25:40,336 would you just do me a favor, please? 1654 01:25:40,469 --> 01:25:43,972 I just--I just would-- I would love the honor... 1655 01:25:44,106 --> 01:25:46,909 of you signing my wrist. 1656 01:25:47,042 --> 01:25:48,811 I want to show it to my father. 1657 01:25:48,944 --> 01:25:50,313 He's sick in the hospital, and 1658 01:25:50,446 --> 01:25:53,216 the bills are just pilin' up and it would really impress him. 1659 01:25:53,349 --> 01:25:55,651 It would. Thanks a lot. 1660 01:25:55,784 --> 01:25:59,788 Nothin' special. Just your autograph would be great. 1661 01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:04,960 Yeah, they opened him up and it just keeps gettin' worse. 1662 01:26:05,093 --> 01:26:07,095 Don't know what we're gonna do. 1663 01:26:08,231 --> 01:26:11,099 There it is. There's that smile. 1664 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:15,338 Just love it. We just-- we just love you. We do. 1665 01:26:15,471 --> 01:26:19,141 And when you said "bird caca" on TV the other day-- 1666 01:26:19,275 --> 01:26:20,509 caca-- 1667 01:26:20,643 --> 01:26:23,045 my dad laughed for the first time in two years. 1668 01:26:24,079 --> 01:26:27,983 Thanks. We just-- we just trust you so much. We do. Thanks. 1669 01:26:28,116 --> 01:26:30,353 Oh, God. 1670 01:26:33,121 --> 01:26:33,989 Thank you. 1671 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,061 Caca. 1672 01:26:40,463 --> 01:26:45,133 [disembodied voice echoing] Dwayne. 1673 01:26:45,268 --> 01:26:49,372 -Dwayne. [echoing] -Celia? 1674 01:26:49,505 --> 01:26:54,577 Talk to me. Talk to me, please. [giggling, echoing] 1675 01:26:55,278 --> 01:26:57,713 Share something with me, Dwayne. [echoing] 1676 01:26:57,846 --> 01:26:59,515 Goodbye, Blue Monday. 1677 01:26:59,648 --> 01:27:02,818 [Celia speaking indistinctly] 1678 01:27:02,951 --> 01:27:06,622 I trust you, Dwayne. Are you sorry, Dwayne? 1679 01:27:06,755 --> 01:27:10,259 [Celia giggling, muttering indistinctly] 1680 01:27:11,026 --> 01:27:14,997 [twinkling music] 1681 01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:19,568 They were taking Mr. Le Sabre to the Midland General Hospital, 1682 01:27:19,702 --> 01:27:21,169 north wing. The-- 1683 01:27:21,304 --> 01:27:22,438 [whispering] The psychiatric ward. 1684 01:27:22,571 --> 01:27:24,373 -[phone ringing] -I-- Hold on, please. 1685 01:27:24,773 --> 01:27:27,209 -Dwayne Hoover's Exit 11 Mo-- -[phone ringing] 1686 01:27:27,343 --> 01:27:29,378 I-I don't know where Mr. Hoover is. 1687 01:27:29,512 --> 01:27:30,746 I got 36 dollars. 1688 01:27:30,879 --> 01:27:33,282 -[relaxing music playing] -[animals sounding] 1689 01:27:33,416 --> 01:27:35,017 -Sold. -[man chuckling] 1690 01:27:35,150 --> 01:27:38,921 And remember, you can trust Wayne Hoobler. 1691 01:27:40,255 --> 01:27:45,594 [both screaming] 1692 01:27:45,728 --> 01:27:47,195 Get out of that car! 1693 01:27:49,398 --> 01:27:55,070 [unsettling music] 1694 01:27:56,405 --> 01:28:00,108 [lounge jazz music playing] 1695 01:28:12,421 --> 01:28:13,789 Oh. 1696 01:28:14,256 --> 01:28:17,960 -[lounge music continues] -[clears throat] 1697 01:28:19,562 --> 01:28:21,930 All right, Bunny, I got this place rigged for lighting 1698 01:28:22,064 --> 01:28:24,700 exactly like we talked about. So, the table's set. 1699 01:28:24,833 --> 01:28:27,603 All you gotta do is go out there and eat the dinner. 1700 01:28:27,736 --> 01:28:29,438 -Can do, Bill. Can do. -All right. 1701 01:28:29,572 --> 01:28:32,441 -You wanna give me a hug? -[chuckles] 1702 01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:34,410 You go get 'em. 1703 01:28:35,944 --> 01:28:39,014 -[scattered applause] -[indistinct chatter] 1704 01:28:41,283 --> 01:28:43,419 -Good evening. -[playing bouncy keyboard tune] 1705 01:28:46,422 --> 01:28:49,358 Hey, great to see you here. 1706 01:28:49,492 --> 01:28:51,293 -Have a scotch, and have a beer. -[gasping] 1707 01:28:51,427 --> 01:28:55,598 -[both] It's Kilgore Trout! -[Bunny singing indistinctly] 1708 01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:59,502 Hey! [singing indistinctly] 1709 01:28:59,635 --> 01:29:01,370 -Mr. Kilgore Trout. I'm Fay. -I'm Kay. 1710 01:29:01,504 --> 01:29:03,372 This is indeed a rare pleasure. 1711 01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:05,273 Oh, my goodness, I just love artists. 1712 01:29:05,408 --> 01:29:06,875 Oh, they're so artistic. 1713 01:29:07,009 --> 01:29:09,645 * Hey, feel the jive Join in the fun * 1714 01:29:09,778 --> 01:29:15,518 * Midland City America's number one, yeah * 1715 01:29:15,651 --> 01:29:17,285 That's Kilgore Trout. Play that intro you got worked out. 1716 01:29:17,420 --> 01:29:18,286 -I'll get the lights. -[scattered applause] 1717 01:29:18,421 --> 01:29:19,755 [Bunny plays glissando] 1718 01:29:19,888 --> 01:29:22,324 Now, you're not from around here, are ya? 1719 01:29:22,458 --> 01:29:28,096 Yeah. I'm from Exit 11 Motor Village. I'm Wayne Hoobler. 1720 01:29:29,865 --> 01:29:33,001 * Wake up Get out of bed * 1721 01:29:33,301 --> 01:29:35,771 * There's plenty of good art just ahead * 1722 01:29:35,904 --> 01:29:38,507 -Be right back. -[song continues] 1723 01:29:38,641 --> 01:29:41,243 * Now salute the man we can't do without * 1724 01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:46,482 * The wonderful, lovable, beautiful Kilgore Trout * 1725 01:29:46,615 --> 01:29:47,916 [audience applauding] 1726 01:29:48,050 --> 01:29:49,351 Yeah. 1727 01:29:58,093 --> 01:30:00,095 Finally? Trout? 1728 01:30:00,228 --> 01:30:01,764 [clattering] 1729 01:30:01,897 --> 01:30:03,065 Kilgore Trout? 1730 01:30:03,198 --> 01:30:05,267 -Eh... What, what? -The message, please. 1731 01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:06,602 My message! 1732 01:30:06,735 --> 01:30:07,936 You know what message I'm talking about. 1733 01:30:08,070 --> 01:30:11,039 -[Kilgore grumbling] -Is this it? Is this for me? 1734 01:30:11,173 --> 01:30:13,041 It's mine. What are you doing with it? 1735 01:30:13,175 --> 01:30:15,544 -It's mine. What are you doing? -"Dear sir, 1736 01:30:15,678 --> 01:30:19,281 "poor sir, brave sir. You are an experiment 1737 01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:21,884 "of the Creator of the Universe. 1738 01:30:22,017 --> 01:30:23,952 "You are the only creature in the entire universe 1739 01:30:24,086 --> 01:30:25,454 "who has free will. " 1740 01:30:25,688 --> 01:30:28,090 That's godlike with a little "g". 1741 01:30:28,491 --> 01:30:31,293 [people giggling] 1742 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:38,467 * Take my hand, I'm a stranger in paradise * 1743 01:30:38,601 --> 01:30:42,538 "You are the only one who has to figure out what to do next. 1744 01:30:42,671 --> 01:30:45,407 -"And why." -* A stranger in paradise * 1745 01:30:45,541 --> 01:30:46,675 That's exactly right. 1746 01:30:46,809 --> 01:30:48,310 How did you know this? How did you know this? 1747 01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:52,080 "Everybody else is a robot, a machine. 1748 01:30:52,214 --> 01:30:55,918 "Some persons like you, while others seem to hate you. 1749 01:30:56,051 --> 01:30:58,253 "And you must wonder why. 1750 01:30:58,386 --> 01:31:00,923 "They are simply liking and hating machines. 1751 01:31:01,924 --> 01:31:03,992 "All of this has made you pooped and demoralized. " 1752 01:31:04,126 --> 01:31:06,962 You see, this is me. I am pooped and demoralized. 1753 01:31:07,095 --> 01:31:11,133 -[Bunny continues singing] -If this isn't nice, what is? 1754 01:31:11,266 --> 01:31:14,570 * Out of the commonplace * 1755 01:31:14,703 --> 01:31:18,040 * Into the rare * 1756 01:31:18,907 --> 01:31:20,976 * Somewhere in space * 1757 01:31:21,109 --> 01:31:23,411 "You are surrounded by machines whose only purpose 1758 01:31:23,546 --> 01:31:25,781 "is to stir you up... 1759 01:31:25,914 --> 01:31:28,851 "in every conceivable way... 1760 01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:30,352 "so that the Creator of the Universe 1761 01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:31,954 "can watch your reactions. " 1762 01:31:32,755 --> 01:31:34,156 Wait, there's more. There's more. 1763 01:31:34,289 --> 01:31:35,624 -This is it. -Yes... 1764 01:31:35,758 --> 01:31:38,060 "The Creator of the Universe would now like to apologize, 1765 01:31:38,193 --> 01:31:41,063 "not only for the capricious jostling companionship 1766 01:31:41,196 --> 01:31:42,698 "he provided during the test, 1767 01:31:42,831 --> 01:31:44,900 "but also for the trashy stinking condition 1768 01:31:45,033 --> 01:31:46,635 "of the place itself. The robots have been 1769 01:31:46,769 --> 01:31:48,871 "programmed for millions of years to abuse it... 1770 01:31:49,004 --> 01:31:51,306 "so it would be a poisonous, festering cheese 1771 01:31:51,439 --> 01:31:52,808 "by the time you got here. 1772 01:31:52,941 --> 01:31:55,778 "He also programmed the robots to crave sexual intercourse 1773 01:31:55,911 --> 01:31:58,180 "more than anything else so it would be crowded 1774 01:31:58,313 --> 01:31:59,548 -"when you got here. -Yeah, you bet. 1775 01:31:59,682 --> 01:32:00,983 "He had the robots kill each other by the millions 1776 01:32:01,116 --> 01:32:03,218 "for this purpose only that you be amazed. 1777 01:32:03,351 --> 01:32:04,920 "They have committed every possible atrocity 1778 01:32:05,053 --> 01:32:06,488 "and every possible kindness... 1779 01:32:06,622 --> 01:32:08,991 "just to get a reaction from you!" 1780 01:32:09,124 --> 01:32:12,027 [lounge music continuing] 1781 01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:15,330 That's right. That's right. 1782 01:32:20,002 --> 01:32:21,436 It's workin', kid. 1783 01:32:22,037 --> 01:32:24,239 -Thank you. -No, thank you. 1784 01:32:24,372 --> 01:32:26,742 Thank you so much, my friend. You helped me so much. 1785 01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:28,343 -You're entirely welcome. -Thank you. 1786 01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:29,678 Good, good. 1787 01:32:30,813 --> 01:32:34,116 -[Dwayne] Ah, ha-ha! -Nice guy. 1788 01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:40,088 * Won't you answer this fervent prayer * 1789 01:32:40,222 --> 01:32:42,290 Out of my way, dancing machines! 1790 01:32:42,424 --> 01:32:45,560 [confused crowd shouting] 1791 01:32:45,694 --> 01:32:49,531 [laughs maniacally] Just what I'm looking for. 1792 01:32:51,900 --> 01:32:53,301 -[grunting] -[people clamoring] 1793 01:32:53,435 --> 01:32:55,838 -[angry music playing] -[people screaming] 1794 01:32:55,971 --> 01:32:58,941 [Dwayne] Where are the bravery machines? 1795 01:32:59,241 --> 01:33:02,310 Got you! When you were a little boy machine, 1796 01:33:02,444 --> 01:33:05,113 I loved the way your head was shaped like a cantaloupe. 1797 01:33:05,247 --> 01:33:08,684 -Now, look at you. -[keyboard making noise] 1798 01:33:08,817 --> 01:33:11,920 -Daddy, why are you doing this? -Because! 1799 01:33:12,054 --> 01:33:14,489 [piano crashing] 1800 01:33:14,623 --> 01:33:15,824 You see? 1801 01:33:15,958 --> 01:33:19,027 They don't feel a thing. They're unfeeling machines! 1802 01:33:19,161 --> 01:33:20,796 -[Dwayne cackling] -[sputtering] 1803 01:33:21,897 --> 01:33:24,232 [Kilgore] Is this because of my creation? 1804 01:33:24,366 --> 01:33:27,703 Is this the sum total of what I stand for? 1805 01:33:27,836 --> 01:33:31,339 Will you explain exactly what it is about my writing 1806 01:33:31,473 --> 01:33:34,877 that made you want to, to hurt these people? 1807 01:33:35,844 --> 01:33:37,713 You said it yourself. I'm the only creature 1808 01:33:37,846 --> 01:33:39,948 in the universe that has free will, don't you remember? 1809 01:33:40,082 --> 01:33:42,450 My God, that's not the answer. 1810 01:33:42,584 --> 01:33:45,320 -[crowd screaming] -Listen you! 1811 01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:48,657 -[people shouting] -Dwayne Hoover's gone berserk! 1812 01:33:49,057 --> 01:33:52,995 -I don't like you anymore! -I feel the same way myself. 1813 01:33:53,128 --> 01:33:57,599 [Dwayne] The New York machine! Get out of my way! Ha-ha! 1814 01:33:57,733 --> 01:34:00,135 -[people screaming] -[waitress groans] 1815 01:34:00,268 --> 01:34:02,637 They don't feel anything anyway. [cackling] 1816 01:34:02,771 --> 01:34:05,240 Who wants some of the car dealer, huh? 1817 01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:12,014 You're not supposed to know the answer, for cryin' out loud. 1818 01:34:13,115 --> 01:34:16,384 -[violin music playing] -Why not? 1819 01:34:16,685 --> 01:34:21,289 If you knew the answer, there'd be no more questions. 1820 01:34:22,891 --> 01:34:26,461 [Wayne] Dwayne! Dwayne! 1821 01:34:26,995 --> 01:34:30,398 Come on. Escape. 1822 01:34:30,766 --> 01:34:32,500 Come follow me. 1823 01:34:40,843 --> 01:34:43,278 -Young man! -[relaxing music playing] 1824 01:34:44,847 --> 01:34:48,383 Come on out! Young man! 1825 01:34:50,018 --> 01:34:52,387 Ha-ha! You are there. 1826 01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:54,122 -Hey, Mr. Hoover. -Good. Yes. 1827 01:34:54,256 --> 01:34:55,257 What do you say there, 1828 01:34:55,390 --> 01:34:56,859 -pal of mine? -You really are there. 1829 01:34:56,992 --> 01:34:59,194 -[Dwayne grunting] -Hey, hey! 1830 01:35:00,028 --> 01:35:02,731 [grunting] 1831 01:35:02,865 --> 01:35:04,733 Where are ya? -[animal sounds] 1832 01:35:04,867 --> 01:35:08,971 I... You're--you're just too good for me. 1833 01:35:11,173 --> 01:35:12,808 Hey. What the-- 1834 01:35:12,941 --> 01:35:17,846 -What kind of machine are you? -Hey, I'm Wayne Hoobler. 1835 01:35:17,980 --> 01:35:21,049 And Eli said we couldn't trust anybody, but in God we trust! 1836 01:35:21,183 --> 01:35:24,552 -[Wayne chuckles] -I never, never trust anybody! 1837 01:35:24,953 --> 01:35:26,221 Dwayne? 1838 01:35:30,025 --> 01:35:32,327 What are you, a trusting machine? 1839 01:35:33,962 --> 01:35:38,000 Yes. Why, yes I am. 1840 01:35:39,001 --> 01:35:40,268 Dwayne? 1841 01:35:41,136 --> 01:35:44,907 -[Dwayne exclaims] -[Wayne chuckling] 1842 01:35:45,040 --> 01:35:47,475 -Yes, I am! -[unsettling music] 1843 01:35:47,609 --> 01:35:49,577 I'm Wayne Hoobler, 1844 01:35:50,545 --> 01:35:51,746 and I'm home! 1845 01:35:53,381 --> 01:35:57,419 Fairyland! [echoing] 1846 01:35:58,320 --> 01:36:02,390 Oh, Fairyland! Ha-ha! 1847 01:36:04,927 --> 01:36:06,728 Where is that guy? 1848 01:36:06,862 --> 01:36:09,064 [Francine] Mr. Hoover! 1849 01:36:09,197 --> 01:36:11,466 Where have you been? 1850 01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:13,836 Where are all the showroom cars? 1851 01:36:13,969 --> 01:36:16,204 Headquarters called and they're very upset 1852 01:36:16,338 --> 01:36:17,973 you missed that spot this afternoon. 1853 01:36:18,106 --> 01:36:20,042 Mr. Hoover, what-- is everything all right? 1854 01:36:20,175 --> 01:36:21,476 Browbeatin' machine! 1855 01:36:21,609 --> 01:36:22,978 -[Francine gasps] -[monkeys howling] 1856 01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:25,480 Oh, here's the best fucking machine... 1857 01:36:25,613 --> 01:36:27,115 in all of Midland City. 1858 01:36:27,249 --> 01:36:30,385 Mr. Hoover, you are the most hateful man I've ever met! 1859 01:36:30,518 --> 01:36:33,956 Sure, just wind her up, and she'll say she loves ya! 1860 01:36:34,089 --> 01:36:35,757 And she'll keep going until she gets 1861 01:36:35,891 --> 01:36:37,926 her own fried chicken franchise. 1862 01:36:38,060 --> 01:36:39,161 Yes, I said I loved you, 1863 01:36:39,294 --> 01:36:41,063 but that was when you stood for something. 1864 01:36:41,196 --> 01:36:44,699 When you were a man of hope, truth, and success. 1865 01:36:44,833 --> 01:36:48,270 But you've become a betrayer, Mr. Hoover, a fake! 1866 01:36:48,403 --> 01:36:51,706 [Dwayne and Kilgore shouting] 1867 01:36:51,840 --> 01:36:53,708 [Kilgore] Get the police! Go! 1868 01:36:53,842 --> 01:36:55,610 Go! Call the police! 1869 01:36:55,743 --> 01:36:57,012 There's only one thing you can do. 1870 01:36:57,145 --> 01:36:58,180 Tell me what it is. 1871 01:36:58,313 --> 01:37:00,515 The only thing you can do is continue. 1872 01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:02,550 Continue? 1873 01:37:02,684 --> 01:37:04,352 Continue, that's right. You're a continuing machine. 1874 01:37:04,486 --> 01:37:05,787 Can't quit now. Gotta keep going. 1875 01:37:05,921 --> 01:37:07,422 That's why you were born. 1876 01:37:07,555 --> 01:37:08,891 Yesterday was my birthday. 1877 01:37:09,024 --> 01:37:12,727 Yeah, until you're dead it's all life. 1878 01:37:12,861 --> 01:37:14,429 [Dwayne and Kilgore shouting] 1879 01:37:14,562 --> 01:37:16,331 -[Dwayne] That's it! -[Kilgore groans] 1880 01:37:16,564 --> 01:37:18,366 What did you just say? 1881 01:37:19,167 --> 01:37:22,470 [Kilgore gasping] 1882 01:37:24,639 --> 01:37:26,508 What did you just say? 1883 01:37:27,342 --> 01:37:31,113 Until you're dead, it's all life. So make the most of it. 1884 01:37:31,246 --> 01:37:33,882 [panting] 1885 01:37:36,518 --> 01:37:37,920 Life. 1886 01:37:39,021 --> 01:37:40,622 You're right. 1887 01:37:42,991 --> 01:37:44,626 It's all life. 1888 01:37:45,260 --> 01:37:48,463 Oh, my goodness. Are you all right? 1889 01:37:49,898 --> 01:37:52,334 So, it's you. 1890 01:37:52,968 --> 01:37:57,872 -[magical music, nature sounds] -The Creator of the Universe. 1891 01:37:58,006 --> 01:37:59,374 Well, it delights me 1892 01:37:59,507 --> 01:38:03,011 that I no longer have to suffer your gift of life anymore. 1893 01:38:03,545 --> 01:38:06,514 The joke's on you, isn't it, big fella? 1894 01:38:06,648 --> 01:38:07,950 Huh? [cackles] 1895 01:38:08,083 --> 01:38:10,585 What are you gonna do when you run out of playthings? 1896 01:38:10,718 --> 01:38:11,753 [Dwayne] I'm so sorry. 1897 01:38:13,521 --> 01:38:16,258 -I didn't mean it. -Your kind never has to mean it. 1898 01:38:16,624 --> 01:38:18,360 Is there anything I can do for you? 1899 01:38:18,693 --> 01:38:20,262 Anything I can do to help? 1900 01:38:20,562 --> 01:38:24,566 Get me a Nobel Prize, or a reputable publisher. 1901 01:38:24,699 --> 01:38:28,603 Sorry, I can't really--I don't-- I don't think I can... 1902 01:38:28,736 --> 01:38:32,074 help you with those things, but if there's anything else, 1903 01:38:32,207 --> 01:38:34,409 please... feel free. 1904 01:38:34,542 --> 01:38:37,512 Free? Like Tolstoy freed his serfs, 1905 01:38:37,645 --> 01:38:39,414 Jefferson freed his slaves? 1906 01:38:39,547 --> 01:38:42,850 Feel free? Feel free. [laughing] 1907 01:38:45,720 --> 01:38:48,790 [sighs] I will make the most of it. 1908 01:38:49,724 --> 01:38:51,459 Celia. 1909 01:38:51,593 --> 01:38:52,894 Until you're dead, it's all life. 1910 01:38:53,028 --> 01:38:56,031 Feel free. Ha, free. 1911 01:38:56,698 --> 01:38:58,733 [transcending music playing] 1912 01:38:58,866 --> 01:39:00,468 Until you're dead, it's all life. 1913 01:39:03,371 --> 01:39:05,707 [music swells] 1914 01:39:07,275 --> 01:39:10,412 -[magical music] -[birds chirping] 1915 01:39:26,094 --> 01:39:29,831 [birds chirping] 1916 01:39:37,872 --> 01:39:41,976 -[birds chirping] -[music continues] 1917 01:39:50,885 --> 01:39:53,155 [takes a deep breath] 1918 01:39:55,757 --> 01:39:59,794 [transcending music continuing] 1919 01:39:59,927 --> 01:40:03,331 -[birds chirping] -[water rushing] 1920 01:40:05,767 --> 01:40:07,035 [gasps] 1921 01:40:07,335 --> 01:40:09,604 Wait a minute, Bunny. I know you think that was a bad show. 1922 01:40:09,737 --> 01:40:11,173 I gotta be by myself for a little while. 1923 01:40:11,306 --> 01:40:12,540 It wasn't a bad show. It was great. 1924 01:40:12,674 --> 01:40:14,342 -They loved it. -I think my daddy loves me. 1925 01:40:14,476 --> 01:40:16,644 Well, of course he loves you, but he's a nut job. 1926 01:40:16,778 --> 01:40:17,879 -Wait a minute. -[car engine starting] 1927 01:40:18,012 --> 01:40:18,980 -Let's talk about this. -[tires squealing] 1928 01:40:19,114 --> 01:40:20,348 Wait, Bunny. I love you! 1929 01:40:20,482 --> 01:40:22,550 [magical music continues] 1930 01:40:25,287 --> 01:40:29,391 ["Stranger in Paradise" playing] 1931 01:40:29,857 --> 01:40:34,062 [birds chirping] 1932 01:40:43,037 --> 01:40:46,741 [music continues] 1933 01:40:50,545 --> 01:40:53,348 [river bubbling] 1934 01:40:54,482 --> 01:40:58,853 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1935 01:40:59,721 --> 01:41:01,055 [Dwayne panting] 1936 01:41:01,189 --> 01:41:03,358 [water bubbling] 1937 01:41:06,361 --> 01:41:07,929 [Dwayne] Celia! 1938 01:41:09,631 --> 01:41:10,665 Celia. 1939 01:41:15,370 --> 01:41:16,838 Dwayne? 1940 01:41:16,971 --> 01:41:18,072 Celia? 1941 01:41:18,206 --> 01:41:19,941 [Celia] Dwayne! 1942 01:41:20,074 --> 01:41:22,844 -Where--Where are you? -Dwayne! 1943 01:41:22,977 --> 01:41:25,012 I'm here. Over here. 1944 01:41:25,813 --> 01:41:28,015 I need help, Celia. 1945 01:41:28,550 --> 01:41:30,185 You need these. 1946 01:41:31,819 --> 01:41:36,191 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1947 01:41:39,093 --> 01:41:41,196 Put on the boots, Dwayne! 1948 01:41:41,863 --> 01:41:43,898 Put on the boots! 1949 01:41:46,234 --> 01:41:47,935 [Dwayne mutters] 1950 01:41:49,771 --> 01:41:51,105 You can do it! 1951 01:41:51,239 --> 01:41:54,609 [Dwayne crying] 1952 01:41:57,545 --> 01:42:01,883 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1953 01:42:02,750 --> 01:42:03,785 [grunts] 1954 01:42:05,853 --> 01:42:07,589 I'm so sorry. 1955 01:42:09,324 --> 01:42:11,326 I'm so sorry, Celia. 1956 01:42:11,459 --> 01:42:12,894 You can do it. 1957 01:42:13,395 --> 01:42:15,830 -[water bubbling] -[music continues] 1958 01:42:15,963 --> 01:42:17,932 [footsteps sloshing] 1959 01:42:18,065 --> 01:42:21,369 -So sorry. -Don't stop now. You can do it. 1960 01:42:21,503 --> 01:42:24,806 -[police sirens sounding] -I understand. 1961 01:42:29,811 --> 01:42:34,148 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1962 01:42:50,131 --> 01:42:53,167 [footsteps approaching] 1963 01:42:57,772 --> 01:42:59,140 Bunny. 1964 01:42:59,274 --> 01:43:00,642 -Dad. -Come here, son. 1965 01:43:00,775 --> 01:43:04,212 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1966 01:43:05,613 --> 01:43:06,848 [officer] All right, Mr. Hoover. That's enough. 1967 01:43:06,981 --> 01:43:08,049 Hey, what the-- 1968 01:43:08,383 --> 01:43:10,117 [Celia] No! No! 1969 01:43:10,452 --> 01:43:11,686 [Dwayne] It's okay. 1970 01:43:11,819 --> 01:43:12,987 [officer] Not unless you got a good lawyer, buddy. 1971 01:43:13,120 --> 01:43:14,389 [Dwayne] I understand now. 1972 01:43:14,522 --> 01:43:17,392 Until you're dead, it's all life. 1973 01:43:18,326 --> 01:43:21,162 [chuckling] Until you're dead, it's all life, Celia. 1974 01:43:22,397 --> 01:43:26,268 -[radio speaking indistinctly] -[grunts] That's it. 1975 01:43:26,401 --> 01:43:30,272 Goodbye, Blue Monday! Bye, Blue Monday. 1976 01:43:30,405 --> 01:43:31,739 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1977 01:43:31,873 --> 01:43:34,208 -It's okay. Everything's okay. -[officer] Get in the car. 1978 01:43:34,342 --> 01:43:36,344 I... I'm not mad. 1979 01:43:37,011 --> 01:43:38,746 I'm--I'm okay. 1980 01:43:38,880 --> 01:43:40,982 [officer] All right, let's go. Let's move it! 1981 01:43:41,115 --> 01:43:43,251 -I love you. -I love you, too. 1982 01:43:43,551 --> 01:43:45,453 I love you. 1983 01:43:47,555 --> 01:43:48,623 Daddy. 1984 01:43:48,890 --> 01:43:52,260 [police siren sounding] 1985 01:44:00,067 --> 01:44:04,439 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1986 01:44:21,889 --> 01:44:24,992 [mouthing] I love you. 1987 01:44:29,964 --> 01:44:32,667 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1988 01:44:32,800 --> 01:44:34,936 [birds chirping] 1989 01:44:35,437 --> 01:44:37,572 Make me young. 1990 01:44:44,912 --> 01:44:47,682 [birds chirping] 1991 01:45:02,730 --> 01:45:08,336 [wolf howling] 1992 01:45:08,470 --> 01:45:11,939 [relaxing music playing] 1993 01:45:38,032 --> 01:45:41,736 [relaxing music continuing] 1994 01:46:07,862 --> 01:46:11,566 [relaxing music continuing] 1995 01:46:37,859 --> 01:46:41,563 [relaxing music continuing] 1996 01:47:07,922 --> 01:47:11,626 [relaxing music continuing] 1997 01:47:21,135 --> 01:47:25,239 ["Stranger in Paradise" playing] 1998 01:47:50,632 --> 01:47:55,002 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 1999 01:48:19,661 --> 01:48:24,031 ["Stranger in Paradise" continuing] 2000 01:48:28,803 --> 01:48:32,073 [lounge music playing] 2001 01:48:58,666 --> 01:49:02,203 [lounge music continuing] 2002 01:49:15,617 --> 01:49:19,721 ["Stranger in Paradise" playing] 140438