All language subtitles for sanford_son_s06e14_fred_meets_redd

Come on, Pop. Let's go, okay?

Slow down. I only write so fast.

Listen, if we had started this last
month like we were supposed to, we'd be

finished by now.

Okay. One guitar, bought for $6,
depreciated to $2, listed at

$12, we'll take $7. You got it?

Got it.

One guitar, bought for $2. $6.

Six dollars, Pop. Six dollars. Six
dollars.

Appreciated to... Depreciated.

Yeah, depreciated to 12.

Two.

Two, Pop. I give up.

Two. Lamont gives up.

You know, I don't believe you.

And doesn't believe me.

Got it. Next. Next, we're gonna go to
jail, Pop.

Marvin's coming over here to do our
taxes, and they gotta be mailed in no

than midnight tomorrow.

We got ten days worth of work to do in
one.

Now, do me a favor.

Try and pay attention, okay? I'm tired
of paying attention.

And I'm tired of paying taxes, too.

But, yeah, let me ask you a question.

What do we pay the government that money
for?

What for?

For security, Pop. For defense.

Defense and security?

You see the soldiers around here?

We were robbed twice last year. Now,
where were the soldiers?

government give us a refund on the
robbery?

Come on, Pop. Your tax money also goes
to poverty pockets.

And it comes from poverty pockets.

It winds up in a lot of rich ones.

I get it. Come in!

Good day, good day.

Hello, Marvin.

Don't hello me. I'm a very busy man.

Now, I hope you got your books in order
so I can take them home and get the tax

forms for you to sign. Are you kidding?
Our books aren't anywhere near being in

order. And they're not going to be in
order either because we don't intend to

pay any income tax this year. Oh, well,
then you'll go to jail.

One guitar, six dollars.

Appreciate it.

Now, look, you've got to put your mind
on the job we've got to do here. We've

got about 30 hours to get the inventory
done. You've got to get your profit and

loss put down and your final balance
sheet worked out. Then I'll put it all

the income tax form, bringing them for
you to sign.

Hey, Pop, listen to this.

It says tomorrow at... What is it?

Never mind, Pop. It's not important. It
was a mistake. Listen, let's just get

the tax form... Tomorrow at where?

Get your clipboard, Pop.

Tomorrow at who?

One o 'clock at $16. Give me that.

I look at it myself.

Tomorrow at noon at NBC at Studio 3,

Redd Foxx will appear in person to kick
off the first annual Redd Foxx look

-alike contest to promote his new movie,
Wonders are a Pain of the Glass.

Red Fox gonna be in person? Yeah, Red
Fox, my idol.

I love him.

I love it. I love the way he spells his
name with two Ds and two Xs. I wonder

why he does that.

I don't know why he uses two Ds, but I
saw his nightclub act once, and I know

why they got all them Xs.

Say, Fred, did you ever meet him in
person?

No, but I always wanted to.

I heard he was so sharp and debonair and
charming.

you to enter the look -alike contest.

Are you kidding?

I mean, I happen to be the spitting
image of it.

I've often been stopped on the street by
people who thought I was him till they

saw I was me.

Let's just get to work, okay?

Oh, wait a minute, son. Now, listen.
Listen to this.

The winner of the Red Fox look -alike
contest will get two free tickets to his

movie, plus a free weekend in Las Vegas
as a guest of Red Fox, plus $100.

Cash.

I'm going down there. Oh, no, you're
not.

Oh, yes, I am. Oh, no, you're not. You
got work. Pop, you got work to do around

here. We got to get this income tax
filled out and in the mail by tomorrow,

you're going to get one free ticket to
Lompoc Prison, guest of the ward, and a

thousand rocks in the color of your
choice.

I'm going to the contest, son. I work
all night tonight, but I'm going to

this contest and meet Red Fox. Now,
let's get to it. Well, wait a minute,

got a million questions to ask you you
come around tomorrow yeah but we gotta

take me to the contest and then you can
ask me all the questions you want yeah

but yeah all right well the time of a
lifetime son the thrill of victory

red fox red fox meeting me fred g
stanford the g stanford gonna win that

and gonna give the government their
geeks

Next year, we're going to do this
differently.

Hey, look at it. It's almost dawn.

I don't know how you're still standing
up, Pop.

What was that?

Oh, one hubcap.

Appreciate it, too.

If we want seven, we'll take five.

If anybody want to give us three.

Come on, Pop. Let's go to bed, man.
We've been up all night.

Huh? What, son?

Let's go to bed, man. We've been up all
night. I can't go to bed, son. Marvin's

coming over here. Take me to NBC.

We got to have everything ready.

If you don't get some sleep, you're
going to collapse. No, I'm not. No, I'm

I'm wide awake.

Oh, son.

Let's get as much of this done as we
can.

Now look at this chair.

It must be worth something.

Look how comfortable it looks.

Look how comfortable it is.

Watch me go to sleep.

Now, look, Fred, you can't list Bubba as
a dependent.

Why not? He depends on me for six free
meals a week. Put him down. I will not

put him down. He cannot be a dependent.

Well, then, put him down as a charity.
No.

A loss.

No.

All right, then, make it a mess. Medical
expense?

Yeah, pain in the butt.

Are you here for the Red Fox look -alike
contest?

Oh, you noticed the resemblance
immediately.

I was talking to him.

Him? You don't look like Red Fox. I'm
the one who looks like Red Fox. Look at

that. Take a good look.

I look like Red Fox?

I don't know. I've never seen Mr. Fox
thickly.

How would you like me to get a mirror so
you can see yourself ugly?

How would you like to take a seat, big
mouth?

How would you like to take a walk,
big...

You remember ever taking any trips for
business purposes?

Wait a second, Marvin.

Say, listen, are you here for a little
-like contest?

I certainly am.

Are you here for the right box? This is
the red one, not the silver one.

I can see that you're the same color as
Mr. Fox, but you don't look like his

class at all. You see, there's a lot
more to looks.

than meets the eye.

A lot more than a fist that can meet
your eye.

All right.

Attention, please. Attention.

Sir, would you please sit down?

You heard everybody. Sit down.

You're the only one that's standing.

I thought they'd listen.

Now I can sit down.

went out to dinner entertaining for
business purposes yeah i entertain every

customer that came in my shop you do
sure how when they ask for the price and

tell them they must not laugh and now
here is your panel of judges first

of all let's meet and greet mr fox's
personal manager mr harold harrison

Look here, this is Red Fox's famous sit
-down.

And now, Mr.

And now, Mr.

Fox's personal secretary, the adorable
Miss Doris Martin.

Not least, that wonderful star of
nightclubs, the star of that brilliant

A Window is a Pain of the Glass, the
incomparable Mr.

Red Button.

Hello, hello, hello.

I'd like to say it's very nice of you to
come down, and I'm very flattered.

Who are you trying to kid?

Who are you trying to kid? Look at me.

Hey, listen, that ain't none of him. Who
are they trying to kid?

I wish you would.

Hey, how did you do, Pop?

Oh, it was great, son.

I met Red Fox and I made the finals.

Finals? What are you talking about
finals? I thought there was just one

and that was it. It is, son, but there's
finals in the contest. See, a contest

is not just a test.

It's a contest.

See, and part of the con is the
quarterfinals, the semifinals, and the

You see, son, one of those contests
is...

terms of time? Means he's got to go back
at 8 o 'clock tonight and read a scene

from the movie and be judged for the
prize.

8 o 'clock? Are you kidding?

There's no way he's going to be able to
do that. We still haven't finished the

income tax thing. He's going to kill
himself.

He's going.

Oh, he's going to get the big one. He'll
have a small heart attack when he finds

out the IRS thing isn't filled up. And
when he doesn't win the contest, he'll

have the big one. If not that, he'll die
from exhaustion.

Well, anyhow, I got to go. It's no
business of mine. But look, I'll see you

later. Oh, incidentally, here's the
scene for him to memorize.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Come in.

Come in.

Nobody's coming in. That's Marvin
leaving.

Well, stop him, son.

You got the scene I got to read tonight
at the contest. No, he doesn't.

Don't tell me he doesn't. I mean, you
stop arguing with me and talking back to

me. I'm tired of that stuff. Give me
some respect.

If he wasn't 37 years old, I'd take my
belt off and teach you a lesson.

You don't have the belt. Why don't you
use this?

What is it?

Your scene for the contest.

Oh, I'm sorry, son.

It's all right, Pop.

It wasn't me talking. I was just groggy.

I'm going outside.

I'm just a little groggy.

Look, I want to help out. Is everything
marked?

Yeah, underneath.

Underneath. Okay.

What time is it?

Seven. Seven?

I got to get going.

Don't I got to get going, me.

You got to get going right here. Now,
this has got to be finished, Pop, and

filled out and in the mail by midnight.

But, son, I could win.

Pop, you can't win.

You don't look like Red Fox.

You don't sound like Red Fox, and you
certainly don't act like Red Fox.

I wish you could act like Fred Sanford
and do your own work.

Please. I mean, it could be a great
chance for me to do more.

Pop, would you stop it? Would you just
stop it? Now, I always give in to you. I

always let you have your way. Right or
wrong, I give in to you. But I'm not

going to do it this time.

And don't look at me with those cow
eyes.

I'm right and you're wrong and you know
it. Now let's just finish this tax,

okay? Listen, I'll help out with the
stuff in the yard.

Thanks a lot, Marvin.

Okay, now let's go, Pop.

One old stove.

One old stove.

Just like me.

One old stove, useless.

No gas left.

Stuck out here in this junkyard for the
rest of my life.

Bought for how much?

Pop, you didn't have a chance anyway,
man. Who were you going to read the

with? You're not an actor.

Well, you could have helped me with it.

Bought it how much?

Pop, we got to finish this income tax.

Well, but it was a day late.

It would just be a fine. And if I won
the contest, I have the money to pay the

fine.

Bought it how much?

All right, let's learn it.

We can get this. This is easy.

We can get it, son. Yeah.

All the farmers here, dear?

Yes, they are, Mr.

Fox. Please, please. Now, you've been
with me for ten years now. It's not Mr.

Fox. It's Red.

Red. You got it, Doris?

That's Miss Martin Red.

Got it.

Uh, are they all here?

All but Fred Sanford.

He called in and said that he would be a
little late. Oh, that's the old

gentleman I met this afternoon, isn't
it? That's right, Mr. Fox.

Poor man. Worst set of legs I've ever
seen. Sad case.

All right.

Now, the first finalist, Mr.

Rob Baxter.

Let's take a look at him.

How are you, Harry?

How do you feel, Charlie? How are you
doing?

Oh, I'm just fine.

Say, have you heard me?

There he is, son.

Red Fox.

There he is.

Hey, Pop, you were right, man. He looks
wealthy and healthy and young and

everything. Didn't I tell you I was his
look -alike?

Yeah, you said that.

Hey, listen to those guys.

We better than them, aren't we?

I don't know, Pop, but we're going to
find out soon enough.

Very nice. Thank you. Is that it?

No, Mr.

Sanford is here.

All right.

Let's be the old gentlemen.

Let's get this over with. I got to get
to Vegas.

Mr. San... Sanford, you're next.

Well, I'm ready to be wrapped up and
taken.

Be honest, be honest, Mr. Fox.

Don't I look like you? Oh, we do.

You and I.

All right, all right, then. Don't be
honest.

Yes, you do. You do.

Who's going to assist you with your
scene, Mr. Sanford?

My son, Lamont.

Oh, very well. Are you ready, Mr. Fox?

I'm ready.

As soon as your scene is completed...

Mr. Fox, his manager, and I will select
the winner of the Red Fox look -alike

contest. Are you ready?

Certainly. Start, son.

Proceed. You sure you're not too tired?

Start, son.

Okay. I want to be fair and only up and
up with you, and I feel that it's only

fit and proper that I tell you that I've
had some previous acting experience.

I'm not exactly an amateur, you know.
Well, how very nice of you to tell us.

And the next time you want to tell us
something, wait until someone asks you.

Shall we begin?

Begin. Thank you very much.

You get ready, son.

All right.

Hello, son.

It's good to see you again after all
these years.

Thanks, Dad.

It's been a terribly long, long
separation.

I know, but these are the times.

I understand.

Dad? Huh?

Why did you run away from home?

Well, son, I wanted more than just to be
a father and a

husband and stuff.

See, I wanted to do my own thing.

And did you?

Certainly.

And what was your own thing, father?

Awnings. Awnings?

Awnings.

like to make awnings.

Why? I like to hang them.

Why? I like to hang them over the window
at the YWCA.

The YWCA?

That's for women.

And you still ask him why?

Oh, Father, I am ashamed of you.

Of what you are.

You had a chance to become anything that
you wanted to, and you threw it away.

And just look at you now.

Look at you. I am ashamed of you.

You turn out to be nothing.

What have I done?

What have you done?

Nothing. All you've done is simplify
things for me. Take a look at your

and Mr.

Fox. Why, no two people in this room
could look more alike.

is asleep, his manager and I act as sole
judges and have no trouble awarding

your father the winner of the Red Fox
Look -A -Like Contest.

Hey, Pop, wake up!

I thought you won!

You won the Look -A -Like Contest! I won
the contest.

Well, here you go, Marvin.

This should do it.

All right, I'll add it all up. You think
we're going to make the deadline? Well,

I sure hope so.

Let me look at the last page of this
inventory.

Let's see, you got the bathtub and the
old stove.

Wait a minute, hold it.

What? Well, there's one thing missing
here.

What are you talking about? Well, that
old thing that's out in the yard, you

know, with the decayed front, the broken
back, and the cracked face.

Sound open to doing this, John? Yes,
Dan.

Well, where is he?

Who?

Marvin, and that's who.

We've been working around the clock.

You'd think he'd have those tax forms
finished by now.

Pop, he said he'd be finished by
midnight. Now, just be a little patient.

All right, then where is he?

Who?

Who? Marvin!

Pop.

There. There he is now.

Who?

Marvin.

Come in.

Blimey, all done.

Okay, fellas, sign right here on the
dotted line.

What's the magic number?

One hundred dollars.

Refund? Tax.

I don't get... You pay.

Well, I don't get a hundred dollars.
Well, that's not the question.

Well, what's the question?

Where are you going to get a hundred and
twenty dollars? Don't forget, twenty

dollars is my fee.

Hey, Pop, you got the hundred dollars
from the Red Fox look -alike contest.

That'll cover our tax.

Well, that's all. It has to be covered
because...

I'm not paying Marvin.

He's a fraud and a failure.

If he was a good accountant, he would
have got us a refund.

Sorry, Marvin, but that's the way it
goes.

Well, I tell you, Fred, if you don't
want to pay me, I'll just sue you and

send you to jail.

I tell you, if you haven't got the 20,
I'll take 10 on account.

Will you take five across the lips?

Stop that.

We'll pay you, Marvin. Don't worry.
Okay, thanks.

All right, Marvin. But listen, Marvin.

Next year, get us a tax shelter.

Tax shelter?

You can't use this place as a tax
shelter. Why?

Because it's an animal shelter.