Original subtitles

Hi, Pop.

Hi, son.

If you wanted to know what I was doing, why didn't you just ask me?

I don't want to know what you're doing.

Your business is your business, and what I do is my business.

What I want to know is, what are you doing?

Well, I'm adding up all the money I got in the whole world.

Including your part of this empire?

I said I'm adding, I'm not subtracting.

Oh, come on, son.

This empire is worth a fortune.

Look over here.

Look at this antique lamp here.

Formerly the property of the mayor of El Segundo.

$1 ,500.

This week only for clearance sale, $1 .98.

Look at this hand -carved living room chair.

Formerly prized by the duck in Duckies of Windsor.

And I'm your son. I'm not a customer. Would you stop it? Why don't you face

Pop? This empire of yours is worthless.

How can you call this empire worthless?

It represents my life's work. Calling this empire worthless is like calling me

worthless. And you know I'm not worthless.

Don't you?

Do you?

Am I?

Pop, do you know how old I am?

Of course I know how old you are.

I was there the day you was born and nine months before that.

Papa, I'm 36 years old, and this is all the money I've got in the world.

Let me see that.

Nothing.

That's right.

Son. What?

You're worthless.

Yeah, I'm worthless, penniless, broke, busted, and... A dummy.

I thought that was the word you were searching for.

No, I was searching for some money. I'm engaged to be married to Janet, and

she's got a son.

And, Pop, I want nice things for her and Roger, man. And all I got is a shirt on

my back. It's awful.

It's worse than that?

What do you mean?

That shirt on your back is mine.

I know. I'll see you later.

Where are you going?

Well, I got a lot of thinking to do. I'm going upstairs.

Listen, why don't you just sit down here and think with me?

I'd rather think alone, Father. No, you shouldn't be alone when you're upset.

I'm going upstairs, Father. Please, son. Just come here and sit down on the

couch and you'll think and I'll think and I'll throw you in my chair like

and son.

Come on. You mean you're just going to sit there and let me think? That's

I'll think and you'll think. We'll both think. What do you think?

you thinking about? Well, if you must know, Pop, I was thinking about getting

another job.

You mean an extra job other than this one?

No, one other job. A full -time job so I can make enough money to support a

family, Pop. Son, you don't need that. Ain't no problem getting old no money.

See, when Janet and Roger move in here... They're not moving in here, and

already told you that, and I'm moving out of here, Pop. The time has come for

to start being Pop and stop being son.

For 36 years, I've been son.

Now, I want a place of my own where I can be Pop.

And someone else can be stunned.

Well, if that's what's bothering you, you can be that here.

Pop?

Forget it.

Hey, Bella, I want to thank you for coming down here with me. I don't trust

these bankers at all.

That's why I brought you here, because I need another brain.

Why don't you want Lamont to know about this loan?

Because he wouldn't take the money if he knew I had borrowed it. Well, what are

you going to tell him?

I'll just tell him it's a gift, because I've been saving it all my life, and

it's his wedding present.

That's good.

And if he buys that, I got some oceanfront property in Kansas you can

Why don't you go see if you can get a safety deposit box so you can lock your

mouth up in it. Okay.

Gentlemen, may I help you?

Yes, you can help me.

It's not both of us. It's just him. He needs the help.

I'm here as another brain.

How may I help you? I want to borrow some money, Dean. My name is Fred G.

Sanford. The G is for guilt. If you give it to me, I'll be gone.

Exactly how may I help you?

I'd like to mortgage my empire.

I beg your pardon?

I have a wall -to -wall empire here in Los Angeles. I'd like to know how much

money I can get on it.

Yeah, what he wants to do, he wants to hock his junkyard.

I see. What is the address of this empire?

That's 9114 South Central.

South Central Avenue.

Let me see.

That's 300 blocks, 405. Oh,

it's way down there.

Yeah,

it's a junkyard with an indoor.

Recreation area. Recreation area. Oh, you mean like a seesaw and a swimming

pool. More like a hacksaw and a cesspool.

Well, why don't you go outside and lay in front of the drive -in window?

How old is this place?

Well, it was there when I bought the property in 1945.

So it's at least 31 years old.

At that address, the lot is 60 feet by 80 feet.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

And you loan me some money on it? Why, certainly everything has some value.

Great, well, we'll just wait right here until you get back from the vault. Yes,

well, for that transaction, I don't have to get it from the vault. I can get it

from my pocket.

You've got to be kidding.

Only slightly, Mr. Sanford. You see, that particular piece of property is

practically worthless.

But it's got a two -story dwelling and a kitchen that has all the latest

appliances, including the original pop -up toaster that Mark Kettle used to

my buns up with.

Well, I can loan you $6 ,000 against your house, Mr. Sanford. $6 ,000?

That's all.

$6 ,000 for my entire empire?

That's a lot. I can't believe that entire empire, land, dwelling, running

and the tireless effort of 30 years of hard work.

But the guy that came to this town without a penny and now has thousands of

dollars. You got thousands?

Where'd you get thousands?

From him, I'll take it.

Fine. Now, uh, how do you want it?

Uh, cash.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, uh, as a mortgage or a personal loan.

Well, uh, what's the difference?

Well, you could pay a mortgage off monthly for 25 years.

Really? 25 years into 6 ,000 is about...

What? Let's see. That's $240.

$240 a year divided by 12 goes into

$240. That's $20. $20 a month, that's only $1, $5 a week.

And five working days, that's merely $1 a day for 25 years.

Are you crazy?

Do you think I'm going to be paying? back a loan 25 years. Easy, Fred.

Easy. You loan shark.

Mr. Sanford, please.

Loan shark. Please, Mr. Sanford, you listen to me. Speak up, George.

The truth is, if I loan you $6

,000 for 25 years, it will come to approximately $8 ,000 with interest.

$8 ,000?

Loan whale.

Mr. Sanford. Lone whale.

Please, Mr.

Sanford. Be calm, Fred, be calm.

Don't be telling me to be calm. I'm standing here in the bank with Moby Dick

you tell me to be calm?

Why don't we make it a personal loan of $6 ,000 and we'll keep your house as

collateral? Good. And I can use him as a balloon payment.

Hey, Fred, you gonna give him a month of money right now?

Yeah, and you better not tell him how I got it either.

Okay, but how are you going to keep them from finding out you're going to get an

extra job to pay back the loan?

That's my business. Listen, just remember, you don't know nothing.

Not a thing.

Don't worry, my list is sealed.

Oh, hey, Bubba, how you feeling, buddy?

What

was

that all about?

See, Bubba brushed his teeth this morning, and he don't want to get them

Sit down.

I don't have time to sit down, Pop. I just got in, and I want to get upstairs

and change, because I got to go over to Janet's. Well, you can wait just a

minute, can't you? I got a surprise for you. Pop, I got to go pick up Janet.

We're going to go have dinner, and then we're going to buy the paper and see if

I can't find a job.

Well, as long as you're looking through paper.

Here's some more paper you might like to look through.

Pop, where did you... That's $6 ,000.

$6 ,000?

Where did you get $6 ,000? What is this money for?

It's for you, son. It's a wedding present, see? And I knew that you and

could put down on a nice house.

Where did you get this money, Pop?

I've been saving it ever since you were born. Every day, I would hide a few

nickels here and a few pennies over there and some dimes and quarters and 50

cent pieces.

Because I knew this moment would come, see?

I want to be able to give you this so you don't have to worry about getting

another job. Then I can see you every day. You took $6 ,000 worth of coins to

the bank? That's unbelievable, Pop.

You telling me? If it hadn't been a bus to Europe, I'd have had the exact

change.

Where did you hide $6 ,000 worth of nickels, dimes, pennies, and quarters?

Well, see, you know that old milk can that was out there in the yard? The one

sold yesterday?

Yeah, yeah, see, but it was right next to that old store.

That I sold with the milk can.

Well, see, right between them, buried down in the ground, in a bag, was all

change.

Well, I don't know what to say, Pop.

Well, I...

You saved all that money for me? What can I say?

Well, try to say something nice.

You're really special, Pop. You know that?

I mean, saving for me every day of your life. I think that's great, Pop. Thanks

a lot.

Oh, that's all right, son.

Now, see, now you can go get dressed and then go tell Janet that you don't have

to look for no other job.

Yeah.

But I do.

Is this gonna help you?

Yeah, I took this sign out your window. Put it back on your way out.

I came to apply for the job.

Have you had any experience with food?

I eat three meals a day.

No, no, I mean, have you ever worked in a restaurant?

Certainly. After World War II, I was quite down and out. I arrived in London

flat broke.

I didn't even have a pence, but I had a jacket and a nice tie.

So... I got a job working in the finest restaurant in London.

That's very impressive.

Pip -pip, pit show, tally -ho, and how's your crumpets?

Can you supply any references?

Of course, I have an encyclopedia at home.

I'll be glad to bring it.

All right, you've got the job. Be here at six sharp.

May I ask what the wages are?

Fifteen dollars a night.

Fifteen bucks, is that all? What happened to your accent?

That'll cost you $5 extra.

Here's your uniform.

But I want to warn you.

This is not like working in London. You'll have to set up the tables and

them after all the people are finished eating.

Tell me, do you mind bussing?

I was okay with the Supreme Court. It's all right with me.

The sign outside says Sanford and Son, not Sleeper and Son.

And I need a partner to do a share of the work around here.

I'm doing my share.

No, you're not, Pop, and you haven't been, and that's exactly what I want to

talk to you about. Well, good. Sit down. Sit down. Tell me what's on your mind.

Well, you know what's on my mind, Pop.

Now, for the last week, you've been in a daze, man.

You know, you've been half asleep half the time and all asleep the rest of the

time. Well, Son, maybe I'm getting older.

You are getting older, Pop. We're all getting older, but you got to get more

sleep at night, not in the daytime, man. You're not sleeping enough at night.

I mean, you know, all day long you're sleeping in... Pop.

May I help you, please, miss?

Oh.

Pop, you got to stop going out every night.

Can't stop, son. You know Donna.

I mean, she's young and attractive, and when she wants to go out, I have to go,

or she'll give me up for a younger man.

Now, that doesn't sound like Donna.

I know it doesn't sound like Donna. I don't do imitations.

Pop, I mean... I know what you mean.

You stay out of my business, and I stay out of yours.

See, you're not the only man in this family that has those romantic evenings.

All right, well, at least you're not going out tonight.

Why? What time is it? It's 5 .30. Oh, I got to go. I'll be late.

Oh, don't tell me you're going out tonight.

No, yeah, I'm going out tonight. I mean, that's right. You knew it.

But Donna doesn't get off from work till six.

That's right, man. Why are you suggesting that I be cheating on Donna?

know she's the only girl I go out with. All right, get in the truck and I'll

drive you over. All right, what's the hurry? She doesn't get home till six.

Coming.

Hello, dear.

Donna, what are you doing here?

I came back to visit your father.

I haven't seen him for over a week.

And I wondered if he was all right.

Is he home?

Uh, uh, is he home? No, no, he's not at home. No, he's not. Oh, well, will he be

home soon?

Soon? Uh, soon.

No, not soon.

No, not soon, no.

Well, Lamont, where is he?

Uh -huh.

That's a good question, Donna. Where is he?

Well, see, I'm going to tell you the truth because it's just as easy to tell

truth as it is to tell a lie. And I've been trying to cover up for him. The

is that Pop went to Beverly Hills to buy you a birthday present.

My birthday was last week.

Yeah, last week was your birthday. I know that.

When he left, he said, why are we waiting until next year to buy her a

Well,

isn't that wonderful?

Yeah. Well, then, I guess I'll go and get myself something to eat.

I'd hope we could eat together, but, uh, well.

Listen, why don't you let me buy you dinner?

Oh, no.

No, listen, I was going to take Janet out, and we were going to have a bite to

eat, and I think it would be great. It would be good for my reputation to be

seen with two beautiful young ladies. But, Lamont, you two probably wanted to

alone together. It's more romantic.

Hey, I don't have to be romantic anymore. We're engaged.

What do you say? How about it?

All right.

Come on. Okay.

I beg you.

Here's the roll. What is it?

What are you doing?

Give the man the roll.

Never mind that. Come over here.

Come over here.

Sanford, when I hired you a week ago, you told me you had experience in both

waiting and busting on tables.

I did.

You finish up and I get your check and get out of here. Please don't fire me

now. I need these 24 months to pay off a loan in the bank.

Your 24 months are not my concern.

You're 32 teeth to my concern.

You better be concerned about my 10 -0s, too. Will you please set up table 26?

Table 26.

Table 26.

Excuse me. Okay.

Listen, I got to go on sick leave.

You can't go on sick leave. You'll be through in two hours.

Well, who's going to stop me?

Sanford, meet the stopper.

Bruno, I'm crazy about your hat.

Hello, Janet Dolly. What about Donna?

What about Donna? You said you would take her out tonight.

I am. She just finished dinner, and she's in the ladies' room. I know she's

the ladies' room. You do?

We do.

You do, too?

Yes.

Well, how do you know she's in there?

Oh, I know.

You went in there, and y 'all bumped into each other.

It's just a coincidence.

Some coincidence.

I guess it's a small world.

It's a small ladies' room, too.

Stanford, come here.

That's Mr. Stanford. This is the last time I'm going to eat here in this

restaurant.

I'm going to teach this guy a lesson. I want to talk to you.

Bruno!

Bruno! No, no, please.

It's not Bruno.

Just give me my money. I need the money. See, my son is getting married, and I

borrowed some money from the bank, and I don't even know where I got it from.

Bruno. Bruno.

Bruno, take it easy here. Listen, Bruno, let me advise you, Bruno. Listen, I'm

an undercover agent for the CIA and the FBI and the PTA.

And I must inform you that I have a learner's permit to kill.

A learner's permit?

That's right. And I don't need but one more victim before I get my license.

Hold it, Pop. Just take it easy. Yes, don't tell him. Now, just listen.

My pop is going to quit, and I want you to pay him everything that you owe him.

I'm going to have the city labor union down here on your back.

You heard all that, son? I heard it. All right, Sanford, pick up your check from

the cashier and get out of here. The name is Mr.

Sanford, and he's not leaving until he finishes eating dinner. Pop, you're

to sit down with Janet and Don and me, and we're going to have dinner.

What do you mean, Edson? You want to treat me to dinner?

That's right.

Uh, excuse me, uh, chap.

I'm going to join my family for dinner.

We like our rolls in butter right away, please.

See, son, I knew you wouldn't take this money if you found out that I had

borrowed it. Hey, Pop, don't even worry about that now. Don't even think about

it. I just want you to sit down, relax, and enjoy a pleasant dinner with Janet,

Donna, and my best friend.

When's he coming?

He's already here, Pop.

Well, the first thing tomorrow morning, we're going to drive down to the back

and straighten everything out.

What has to be straightened out? Well, you've got to return that $6 ,000.

I want you to have that.

After all, you deserve it.

You're a nice son, and I owe you that much.

I mean, and besides, it's not really that hard to pay that much off anyway,

because you're worth it. Pop, you almost killed yourself from exhaustion. You

couldn't keep your eyes open half the time. You had to take all that abuse

the guy down in the restaurant, and you stand here and tell me it wasn't hard.

That's because I'm 68.

And for a guy, 36, it don't make that much difference. You know what I mean?

can do that in a snap.

Here, you take this and put it on, and just have the sleeve let out a little

bit. And when you get out of there, be there by 5 .30 so that you can have your

buns on 38.