All language subtitles for sanford_son_s05e25_camping_trip

Hey, Pop, look at this, man. This looks
like the perfect campsite. Isn't it

beautiful?

Yeah. It's really a nice spot you picked
here.

Now, here's your ducky. Bye.

Hey, wait a minute, Pop. Now, come on,
man. We both agreed that we were going

stay here for the weekend in the
mountains, just like we planned. Now,

the camp up, all right?

You're a lucky man.

Here, take it easy.

Here we go.

Okay, welcome to Camp Freddy.

All those going home in a red truck,
fall in.

Come on, Pop.

Now you've got to get in the spirit,
man.

Now just take a look around at you. Look
at those towering mountains.

Look at those swaying trees.

It is babbling sun.

Pop, you've got to try and appreciate
nature a little bit like Joyce Kilmer.

Who is she?

She was a he.

Joyce was a he? Yeah.

He wrote trees.

Did he write back?

No, no, Pops, you don't understand. He
wrote the poem Trees. You remember?

I think I shall never see a poem as
lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry

is pressed against the earth's sweet
flowing breath.

Sound like Joyce might have been a
little... Yeah, and then there was

Pop. Who?

Yeah, the writer Thoreau. See, he left
his mark on the world.

Oh, yeah, the mark of Thoreau.

Zip, zip, zip.

No, no, no, no.

See, here he did the Thoreau.

He lived in solitude for seven years,
and he wrote a poem about Walden Pond.

Big deal.

My cousin Ernie lived in solitude for
seven years, and he wrote a poem about

Quentin.

Come on, Pop. Stop being so negative,
man. We left home. We both agreed that

we... We didn't agree on nothing.

That was you. You insisted that we get
away so we have a chance to talk

like father and son before you got
married.

That's right.

Okay. Here's some father and son talk.

Okay.

Get your father out of these woods.

Pop, come on now. The least you can do
is help me unload the stuff from the

truck. If that's the least I can do,
I'll do it.

What's a campsite here? You even got a
fireplace.

I don't really care about it. Here,
here's your sleeping bag.

Where's the box string and the mattress?

No, Pop, listen. You're going to love
sleeping on the ground in this sleeping

bag, close to nature.

Speaking of nature, where's the
outhouse?

Anywhere you want it to be.

I want it to be in the bathroom.

No, see, you don't understand. You're in
the woods now, Pop. And you gotta live

like animals.

See, animals don't use bathrooms.

Well, I do.

I'm not forest broken.

Hey, wait a minute.

Who put this in here?

I put it in there. Give it here.

For what?

This is my snake bite kitten.

See, if a snake bites... me this
weekend, I'm gonna lay this upside your

copperhead and rattle it.

Can't live in no tent. I can't sleep in
it. I gotta have something more

comfortable and roomy.

Pop, the thrill of camping is learning
to overcome Mother Nature's little

challenges. Now look, you read me the
instructions and I'll set up the tent.

Okay. You're gonna love it, Pop.

I know it.

I'm beginning to love it now.

Keep this tent.

Away from the heat, animals, and the big
dummy of the forest.

Pop, just read what the instructions
say, please. Okay, okay.

If you follow these instructions
carefully, even a small child can

tent.

Step one, drive to watch and get a small
child.

I'll see you.

Come on, man.

There. You see, Pop?

Hard work is paid off. The tent looks
terrific.

You know, son, it doesn't look too bad.
No.

I told you, Pop. Now, once we get
everything set up, we're going to have a

out here camping.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go inside and
check it out.

Yeah, son. You go in there, and I'll
come in later. Hey, Pop, you know, it's

really great in here.

Is it warm?

Would you get in here?

Well, okay. I'll try to look at it. Now,
look at this. Wait a minute.

Hey, this is really nice. Isn't this
nice? It's great. It's really great.

going to have some fun in here.

I'll take care of that. I'll see you
later, Pop. Where are you going?

I'm going out to get some firewood for
the fire. No, son, wait a minute. Don't

leave me out here in this barren
wilderness.

Now, just relax, Pop.

I'll be right back. Now, just enjoy the
peacefulness and the quietness and the

solitude of the forest.

I'll be right back.

Don't worry about a thing.

I whip a hundred Godzillas.

I'm sorry, Papa. I

didn't mean to scare you. I just want
you to help me with the firewood. You

didn't scare me, son.

Let me loosen my belt. For what?

I think my heart dropped in my drawers.

Relax. Pop, you're safe here with me.
Now, give me a mat so I can start the

fire. You don't need no mat to start no
fire.

All you have to do is rub two pieces of
wood together.

Now, go over there and rub your head
upside the tree.

I said I was sorry. Now, I just wanted
you to come camping with me, Pop, so we

could be alone.

I mean, who knows? Once I get married
and have a family and got all the

responsibility of a family, we might not
be able to spend any time like this

alone. Promise?

Why do we have to argue all the time,
Pop? We don't argue all the time. Only

when we're together.

Why can't we talk like normal fathers
and sons? Well, you start.

No, you start.

You start.

Why don't we talk about the first time I
went camping?

Oh, yeah.

I never get that night.

I was afraid you'd be scared out there,
sleeping in the backyard all by

yourself. Yeah, I told you I wasn't
going to be scared.

They woke up the whole neighborhood
screaming.

I'm afraid to sleep by myself.

I'm afraid to sleep by myself.

I'm afraid to sleep by myself.

Yeah, and I had to come in the house and
calm you down.

You always was a good son. Yeah.

You see, Pop, that's what I miss. We
haven't talked about things like this in

long time.

Yeah, this is kind of nice.

Peaceful. Sort of relaxing.

It's...

Look, Pop, if you want to go home, it's
okay. I should have known better than to

think that we could come out here and
spend a peaceful weekend together.

Yeah, and start the truck and put this
stuff on him. You know, I couldn't wait

to get out here in the woods, and now I
can't wait to get home. And I want to go

home and get my nice long bed, too.

I got good news and I got bad news.

First, the bad news.

The truck won't start.

Well, what's the good news?

We'll always know where it is.

Son, if the truck won't start, then call
the auto club.

Are you kidding me, Pop? We're 50 miles
from the nearest telephone.

Well, don't use the nearest telephone.

Get one closer.

You don't even need a telephone.

Would you stop it? We got food for a
couple of days. There's plenty of water

the brook. It could be a lot worse, you
know.

Worse? That's right. Look, we ain't got
no truck. We fighting this cold weather.

There's hardly any food at all now. What
could be worse?

Well, it could snow.

Uh -uh.

Impossible.

Not even a nibble.

Yeah, you probably scared them all away,
dressed like that.

You said there'd be somebody here to
help us. And that was two days ago.

Yeah, I know, Pop.

And we out of food.

Well, if we had rationed off those hot
dogs like we were supposed to, we'd

have some food left.

Maybe some bear ate them.

Yeah, sure, some bear ate them. If a
bear ate them, there wouldn't have been

knife in the mustard jar.

Well, son...

You know I can't miss my midnight snack.

Now, what are we going to do?

Well, I guess we'll have to eat plants.

Good, good.

We'll eat plants.

Are you crazy?

No, Pop. It says in the campus manual
that plants provide a natural source of

food. I tell you, man, I'm starving. I'm
going to try it.

Try one of these boys.

That's not bad.

What is your campus manual?

Say about dying.

And listen, I saw a movie once where two
guys had a chance to escape from Iwo

Jima.

And one of them was a young guy, and he
was strong.

Another guy was old and weak. The old
man turned to the young man. He said,

listen, I know I'm slowing you down. And
I know you could make it if I wasn't

slowing you down.

So just leave me with the rifle and one
bullet.

And when the Japanese were only about
100 yards away,

The young guy gave the old man the rifle
and one bullet and ran.

And son, I'm going to tell you, the
young fella hadn't gotten no more than

20 yards away when he heard the rifle
shoot.

The old man killed himself?

No. He shot the young man in the behind.

Who's going to make it out of here, huh?

Listen, I know what.

While we're waiting, why don't we, uh...

Play a little cards. That might, you
know, take our mind off the situation.

How about some gin?

You brought some along?

Oh, gin, yeah.

Hey, we'll play for $10 a point.

$10 a point?

One of us should die rich.

Would you stop talking like that?

You know, son, while you were gone
fishing, I got to thinking about all the

things we've never said to each other.

If I die without talking to you, I'll
feel awful.

Listen, Pop, we're going to make it out
of here. No, we're going to die.

Without even knowing each other, because
we don't talk.

We talk.

We talked a couple of weeks ago. You
gave me some advice on how to propose to

Janet, remember?

Don't talk about that now.

You know, you were real cute in what you
said, Pop. And what you said made a lot

of sense.

I always make a lot of sense.

Yeah. I can see it now. We were sitting
at the dinner table.

Now, son.

Tonight's the big night, ain't it? I bet
you're really excited.

I'm excited and I'm nervous, Pop.

See, we're going to go back to Janet's
apartment and I'm going to pop the big

question. If she accepts, I'm going to
buy the ring tomorrow.

Do you know what you're going to say?
Well, not exactly, but I know I'm not

going to get down on one knee because I
don't like that corny stuff.

Well, when you get back here tonight, I
got a big surprise for you. A surprise?

Yeah, and I can hardly wait.

Now, you listen.

Can I give you a little bit of advice?

No. Good.

Now, when you ask her, be tough.

Be firm.

Let her know who's the boss right away.
Say, look, baby, you and I are getting

engaged, and that's the way it is, and
I'm going to be that way all the time.

Is that what you told Mom?

No, that's what your mom told me.

That was something.

Yeah. And I'm about the time I taught
you how to drive a car. Yeah.

Even after the second accident I had,
you made me get right back in the car

drive it until I did it right.

Yeah. And when you did do it right,
You'd driven through the front wall of

house four times.

You remember how we laughed?

Yeah.

It was Bubba's car and Esther's house.

Well, I'll tell you something, Pop.
There was something even weirder than

Bubba's car and Esther's house.

What was that?

The time you brought that thing into the
house.

Oh, yeah.

I'm trying to get a little surprise for
you. I don't want no surprises, Pop. I'm

starving. I've been working all day. I
want food.

Pop,

what's that horse doing in the kitchen?

that I know. You saw him last.

You know, we should have had some crazy
dumb ties together, Pop.

Yeah, that's right. They weren't all my
fault.

Oh, I suppose some of them were mine.

No, some of them were nobody's fault.

I mean, you remember that time?

What's the matter, Pop?

I had a break -in. Nobody broke in here.

Well, what is this, a self -inflicted
wound?

There was a small earthquake last night
and a few things got, you know, shook

around. I must have slept right through
it.

Thank goodness it was just an
earthquake.

What do you mean, just an earthquake?

Well, just an earthquake.

This place is solid as a rock. A
fortress.

Like they say, in time, the rockies make
tumble.

Gibraltar might crumble.

They only made of clay.

But my junk is here.

It's all over, Pop. How do you feel?
Fine, thank you. How are you?

You know, Pop, I guess the times we
remember most are the times we spent

together. You're right, son.

Yeah. Gin! I got you.

Hey, wait a minute. You're only supposed
to have ten cards. You got over thirty.

I got three gins, but I'm only counting
one.

Pop, did I ever tell you the great job
that you did in bringing me up by

yourself?

Thanks, son. You did a great job, too.
At what?

Getting me lost up in the Arctic.

Now get me out of here.

Come on, Pop. Don't give up.

I'm not going to give up, son. You know,
if we do die out here, they might write

a song about us like David Crockett.

Freddy, Freddy Sanford.

Father of this dummy here.

Hey, you know what? Hey, wait a minute.
I got an idea.

What are you doing, Pop?

You know, Robinson Crusoe, he wrote a
note for help.

And then, oh, here's that bottle I had.

And he put a note in the bottle and
threw it in the ocean.

And help came.

What are you, some kind of a nut?

The ocean is 50 miles away from here.

Might be a high tide tonight.

What's that? I don't know.

It works, son.

We've been saved.

Are you Lewis and Clark?

Huh? Oh, this is Red Cross.

I mean, are you part of the party that's
looking for us?

I'm Ms. Barnes, leader of Girl Scout
Troop number 104.

Girls, this way!

Girl Scout?

You mean you're not part of the team
looking for us?

I don't know what you gentlemen are
talking about.

My girls and I...

our nature hike.

And we accidentally came across your
camp.

I'm sorry if we disturbed you. Oh, no,
listen, you didn't disturb us. You saved

us. That's right. See, our truck won't
start. And we're out in the middle of

this wilderness and nothing in that old
measly tent there. We got no food and

we're fighting this cold weather with
all the strength that's left in us. You

got any cookies?

Any Girl Scout can tell you the
thrill...

is learning to overcome the challenges
of Mother Nature.

Mind if I take a look at your truck?

Don't even bother. It's not going to do
any good. I checked it out, and there's

nothing to be done for that truck.

That's right. We don't need no help. I
mean, remember, son, man is the king of

the jungle. That's what I always
thought. We can handle it.

Well, if you can handle it, why don't
you take a walk to the other side of the

hill? The other side of the hill? That's
right.

Just about a quarter mile that way is a
small town with telephone... a gas

station, and a lodge.

But his map... Got your truck started.

Didn't really seem to have anything
wrong with it. Maybe your carburetor was

flooded.

Yeah,

I knew that all the time.

I just didn't have the right tools.

Well, gentlemen, it looks like the Girl
Scouts have saved the day once again.

we could help the kings of the jungle.

Why don't you go take a hike?

Girls, head them up.

Move them out.

See that? The town over here. We starved
for nothing.

Well, maybe it wasn't for nothing, Pop.

Think of all the things that we talked
about, man, the closeness that we

achieved. Now, come on, Pop, be honest.

Wasn't it worth it?

You knew where we were all the time,
didn't you?

Be honest. Yeah, I knew where we were,
but I didn't want to tell you because I

wanted to spend some time with you all
alone, Pop.

I thought so.

I thought you knew all along. I knew you
knew from the beginning.

Well, and if you knew, why did you
complain about starving to death?

Well, that's my nature.

I mean, I was never really starving.

You want a super burger?

did you get that?

Last night, while you was sleeping, I
sneaked into town and got it at the

shop.

And they forgot to put ketchup on it.

Oh, that's okay.

Take mine.

I don't like ketchup.

Get in the truck.

I love you too, Pop. Help me load the

truck and then we'll go home.

Well, listen, son, wait a minute.

Huh? Load me a dime.

For what?

I got to use the forest.

I'll be right back.

Oh, wonderful.

Ah, beautiful.

Ooh, how lovely.

What are you doing over there?

What are you trying to do over there?
What are you going to do, wake up the

forest? You want to disturb the
squirrels?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about communing more with
nature.

Communicating more with my son and
looking more into the backyard of

the Idlewild nudist colony.