Original subtitles

Hello? Oh, hi, Mr. Simpson.

Yeah, I was just out in the yard taking some inventory.

Right.

Okay. Yeah, I know.

Oh, no.

I see.

Yeah. Well, listen, don't worry about... Listen, I got some new ideas about that

Simpson deal.

Pop, would you be quiet? I'm on the phone.

Right, Mr. Simpson. Well, I'll come over there the first thing tomorrow, and

we'll settle the whole thing. We'll wrap the deal up.

Very good.

Okay, goodbye.

Hey, Pop.

Shh, shh.

I'm on the TV.

This is that movie where Dracula sucks Wolfman's neck and gets hair on his

tongue.

What'd you do that for? Because it's dinner time, Pop, and I got a surprise

you in the kitchen.

Boy, I love surprises. All right.

Listen, give me a hint. What is it? Okay, I'll tell you this. Now, it's

something that you would ordinarily have to travel thousands of miles to get.

No kidding. That's right.

Oh, hi, Mr. Sanford.

This is a surprise.

Asian food.

Hey, Pop, what kind of way is that to talk, man? Especially since our chew

all the way over here just to cook dinner for us tonight.

Who are you supposed to be, the Gallop in Kamikaze?

No, man. See, Mr. Sanford, I've had dinner here so often that I just figured

it'd be nice if I cooked for you once. The way the man's heart through his

stomach, right?

Yeah, and the way to the street is use your feet.

Hey, Pop, I want you to try some of this, man. Where's your curiosity?

Remember that old saying?

Curiosity killed the cat.

I'm not sure he's dead.

I think I'll choose hiding him under this sauce.

That's enough. Now, just sit down over here and be cool, all right? Yeah, I'll

eat my chips.

Well, have it your way, Mr. Sanford.

But I think you're going to miss a great meal here, man.

These recipes have all been handed down by my family.

Well, I make it a practice never to eat hand -me -downs.

Here, Lamont.

Sure you want to have some, Mr. Sanford? It's better than teriyaki, sukiyaki,

kushiaki.

No, I'll just stick with these granny goose yakis.

Hey, you know, this is good chow, Chew.

Yeah, man, I gotta admit, I even outdid myself this time.

Yeah, you know what that stuff look like?

Low tide in Long Beach.

See, you know, it don't smell too bad, though.

In fact, it smells good.

Hey, would any of you guys like to trade some of these chips for a tiny...

Fit of that stuff?

Okay.

Here.

Mmm.

It's not bad.

Matter of fact, it's good.

What do you call this?

I call it far -out food from the Far East.

Hey, you like it, huh, pup?

I like it today, but tomorrow I might have sukiyaki seizure.

Hey, man, why don't you just come on out and admit it? I chew as a good cook.

Okay, I admit it.

How'd you?

You're a good cook.

You know, that's the first time I ever heard you give anybody an honest

compliment, Pop. Shut up, dummy.

How'd you?

Where'd you learn how to cook like this?

Well, see, my family considers cooking an art form, like painting.

Oh, so you can take the leftovers and hang them on the wall.

Yeah, and judging from the size of this pot, you must have been from a pretty

big family.

Oh, yeah, big, man.

I mean, that's my problem, Lamont. All the recipes I know are for 50 people at

time. Well, this is better than any Japanese food I've ever eaten.

Oh, thank you, man. But really, what am I going to do with all them leftovers in

the pot?

Shut up.

Oh, sure. What you going to do? Take out an ad and classify it under used food?

Wait a minute, Mr. Sanford. You got something there.

Mr. Just got on here.

No, I mean, see, I've checked out all... All the prices at the other Japanese

restaurants. And I can make the same food for about half of what it costs

Really? Yeah, man. If my kitchen were bigger, I mean, I could make a fortune.

200 bucks a week at least, clear.

200 bucks a week, clear? Yeah.

Ah -choo.

I see a kitchen in your fortune cookie, cookie.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Ah -choo cooking right here in our beautiful kitchen. Wait a

minute.

Yeah, I mean, take our place. All we got to do is put an ad in the paper.

Hey, wait a minute. Now, I'm in the junk business, not the food business.

I mean, it's a good dream, but I don't think it's going to work.

I could handle the cooking end, and with your brains, you could handle the

business end.

Him run the business end?

How would you like to be on the business end of this?

What about a business end for partners?

Partners. All right.

Okay, if you guys want to fool around with this... restaurant business, just

right ahead. I'm in the junk business, and I don't need you to help me anyway

because you're just getting away.

Well, that's fair.

You take the junk road, and I'll take the food road, and we'll have a Toyota

before you.

Don't worry, Mr.

Sanford. It's only 5 o 'clock. We'll get a call soon.

Relax.

Relax? I am relaxed. I'm calm and cool as a cucumber.

That's our first couple.

I'll get it.

Hey, Bubba. How are you?

Hi,

Fred. Hello, Bubba. Hey, listen, you guys. I got to go check things in the

kitchen. I'll see you in a bit. Okay.

All right, Fred. Where is it?

Where's what?

My free fountain pen and balloon.

They always give that stuff away at a grand opening.

Bubba. The only grand opening around here is between your ears.

Oh, Fred.

Sit down.

Hey, Fred, what about them baseballs? What about them?

Don't cook tonight, call Sanford Delight.

Yes. You saw I had the paper? Wonderful.

One teriyaki.

All right.

And Mr. Thompson? All right.

Ought to be ready in ten minutes.

Bye.

Fred, I really got to hand it to you.

Well, you know, Bubba, Running a restaurant is demanding work. You got to

energy. Be full of pelt. Get up and go.

Yeah. Ah -choo!

Here's the first order.

Hello, you deserve a break today.

So come on and eat your heart away with this rice I got.

Thank you, Mr. Walker.

Be ready in ten minutes. Bye.

Hey, Fred, what's all that on Express?

I don't know, Bubba, but Achoo said it made you feel loose in the caboose.

Achoo!

You know, Fred, all this talk about food make me hungry.

Really? What do you have?

Oh, I have a rack of ribs and some greens.

Bubba, this is a Japanese restaurant.

Oh.

How much is five and five?

Ten. It's also your IQ.

Hello, Fred Derby, where the stars meet me.

All right.

Too temporal?

All right, Mr. Gonzalez.

Be ready in ten minutes.

Bye.

Adieu. Yeah.

Fred, you're really rolling.

I'm proud of you.

Yeah, you know, it's satisfying, Bubba. when you get involved in something

that's creative and you have to ask nobody else to help you do nothing.

Yeah.

Get that door for me, Bubba.

Hi. Hi. I'm Mr. Thompson.

I'm here to pick up my order.

Oh, uh... It's Mr. Thompson, here for his pickup.

Aren't you?

Yeah.

I hear you.

All right, then.

Here, Mr. Thompson, have your pick, Bubba.

Thank you. Thank you. Come again.

Look at that, R2.

Our first six bucks. All right.

This is a memorable moment. It sure is.

You know, we Japanese have a proverb for moments like this, man. It goes, um...

You

shut

up!

What did you say?

I said, give me my three bucks, man.

Must be the Walker order. I got it.

Well, all right. We're the Walkers. Your order will be ready in a minute. We're

late for the movies and in a little hurry.

I was wondering, could we eat here?

Why, sure.

Come right in.

My name is Fred G. Sanford. The G is for Guadalcanal.

And this is my friend Bubba here. He's visiting us.

From Tokyo.

He's got to go catch his plane now.

Goodbye, Bubba. What?

See, you don't even understand English too good.

Sometimes I have to use sign language.

All right, all right.

Bye, Fred.

Bye. Come right in.

Sit right here, and you can eat off the coffee table.

Thank you. After you, Mother.

Mr. Sanford, did you know you have a hole in your sofa?

Well, sit down. You'll cover it.

Good night, Mr. Sansa. I must say, that was the best Japanese dinner I have ever

eaten. Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Sansa. Goodbye.

Hey, Aju!

Come on out!

Look here, Aju.

Our first, look at that, 28 bucks. All right.

25 cent tip they left me.

25 cent, them cheapos.

You know, there's an old Japanese saying.

Please, don't start anything about no Japanese fans. Just take the money. All

right. Here's your money.

Eh, not a bad night, Mr. Sanford. No, Achoo, we're cleaning up.

Ah, wrong.

You're cleaning up. I'm doing the cooking, remember?

Hey, listen, Achoo, you know the Walkers loved your cooking so much, I got an

idea.

That's the Gonzales order.

The Gonzales order.

I didn't know you know the Gonzalez's.

You come to pick up the order, huh?

Very funny.

Wait a minute, you crimped the shrimp.

Look, I want to talk to both of you.

Now, I got a lot of big business deals coming up, including that Simpson deal,

and I cannot afford to have people running in and out of this place all the

time. It's just about time that you guys close this takeout restaurant.

Okay, we'll close the takeout restaurant. Oh, but...

Good. I figured one day was all you guys could take.

Then we're going to open up a full -fledged Japanese restaurant.

Your what?

You're standing in the main dining room of the newest Japanese restaurant in

Watts. What's it called?

Sanford and Rising Sun.

Mr. Sanford, hurry up. We're going to open in ten minutes.

I'll be down in a minute.

Hey, Bubba, you're going to make a good -looking waiter.

Thanks, aren't you?

Yeah. Hey, the place looks nice.

This ain't bad for three days' work, huh?

But you're the best -looking doorman I ever seen, man. Yeah, well, if the Fred

put that big ad in the paper, I wanted to look the best. Where's the head man?

All right,

tell the truth.

I'm Major D.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, Fred, you're great.

If the restaurant don't work out, we can always follow you when we go to invade

El Segundo.

If you don't shut up, I'm going to cut off some of your El Rotundo.

Get over there and line up. Line up? Line up over there.

I got to expect you guys to try to see me shop when the guests get here.

June, stick out that chest.

Bubba, pull in that stomach.

I just did.

And you, Hutch, you just park the car.

Now, any questions?

Just one.

What? I don't know how to drive.

Don't drive, just park them.

Hey, Mr. Sanford, listen, I'm going to go check things in the kitchen.

Go ahead.

Hey, Papa.

Yeah. Now, remember, it's the fancy restaurant.

You got to greet the customer with style and plan.

Gotcha, Fred.

Good.

and classy eating persons.

I am Bubba, your human servant.

Humble, humble.

Good evening, Mr. Sanford. We enjoyed your food so much, we came back and

brought our friend.

Oh, that's so delightful to hear you say that, my two favorite customers.

There's always a place for you here.

Thank you, Mr. Sanford.

Do you have reservations?

No, we don't.

And you ain't got no car either. Shut up, Bubba.

Rush right in.

There's a little disturbance in the neighborhood.

Hey, Fred.

Shh.

Come here.

What are you screaming for?

I just want to tell you something. I told you, class.

Yeah, well, look. We're short one set of chopsticks.

Ain't nothing to scream about, buffer.

Class. Sure, look. Class. Here's the chopsticks.

And listen.

your food over the left shoulder.

All right, Fred.

Hey,

Don. Bad, huh?

Please, Pop. I've been working hard all day getting out the Simpson order.

But I didn't think... Look, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to have

anything to do with it. Just stay away from me. I'm very tired.

And I'm going to bed, okay?

What is it, son?

What was that?

You didn't let Hutch park the truck, did you?

I don't even care anymore. I'm just going to bed, all right? You don't have

go upstairs, son. Why don't you stay down here?

Mr. Sanford. The restaurant's a hit. We're making money hand over foot.

Yeah. Lamont said it couldn't be done. We sure fooled him.

Excuse me. Are you the owners of this restaurant?

Yeah. And you're the guy that goes around the restaurant rating them. And

just thought our food was nice and delicious and fresh and you're going to

us four stars.

No, no. I'm Inspector Logan.

Homicide.

Someone died from tzatziki seizure.

Gentlemen, I'm from the health department, and I'm here to make sure

new restaurant meets the health codes established in this city.

Like what?

First, for openers. The law states that this restaurant should provide separate

bathroom facilities for men and women.

We got that.

Sir, it just won't do to have one bathroom with a sign that says, first

first served.

Okay, okay.

I'll add another bathroom.

Sir, I'm afraid there's more than that. There are not enough exits, the

ventilation is poor, and the dishwasher is no good at all. Hey, man, I do the

best I can.

Sir, the law requires that all dishes must be washed at a temperature of no

than 180 degrees Fahrenheit.

Don't get me wrong, Jew. From now on, you can wash your dishes inside the

Yeah.

Sir, at first glance, I can see there are at least seven other violations.

How about eight?

How's that?

Bribery? Here, put this chain in your pocket, man. Forget about it.

Oh, sir, I'm sorry, but here's your citation.

This restaurant must be closed immediately until these violations are

Oh, you can't do that.

Give us a break, brother.

Come here.

Look.

This is a war veteran.

Sir, this place, I suggest, should be remodeled.

Remodeling ain't a bad idea.

Oh, wait a minute. How much did all that cost?

Well, I'm not an expert.

But actually around $10 ,000.

$10 ,000?

$10 ,000.

$10 ,000.

$10 ,000?

Listen,

somebody don't want me in the junk business, and I'm losing money in the

business. Aren't you?

What should I do?

First of all, try taking your hand off the stove.

Overdrawn, $58 .63.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mr. Simpson.

I forgot the pipe.

Oh, but I thought that was a half -inch wire.

Oh, you're going to cancel the order?

Wait a minute, Mr. Simpson. I can explain everything.

You see, my father's not working with me in the business anymore, and I just

fell off.

Oh, hey, Pop, I want to talk to you about something. Hang on, hang on.

I'm all right. No, no, hang on. I ain't going to bother you.

Well, I got something to talk to you about. See, and I got something to talk

you about this time. See, Pop, the junk business is going bankrupt.

I thought I could run the business without you, Pop, but I can't, man. I

have your ability or your experience in dealing with people.

Yeah, well, gee.

Pop, please, close down the restaurant business and come back with me into the

junk business. I can't do it alone. I can't do it without you.

Well, I can't do that, son. If I close down, I put a parking attendant and a

cook and a waiter.

And it say nothing of all the guys down at Al's Body and Fender Shop who've been

doing the cars for us.

Papa, I need you.

You know, I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that.

Then you'll come back?

Well, I've been sacrificing a lot of fame and fortune, but for you... Hey,

that's great, Pop.

Hey, Mr. Sanford.

Lamont, listen, I only got a minute, but I thought I'd better tell you. Last

night, a guy liked my cooking so much that he offered me a job down at his

restaurant after that health inspector closed us down.

Hey, I gotta go to work. I'll catch you later.

I'll go with you.

Health inspector closed you down, huh?

Well, John, I... You know, Pop, I should be mad at you, man, but I'm not.

You're the best at what you're doing. I'm just glad we're partners again.

Yeah, son.

Listen, I might be slowing up a little bit, and I might not be able to do that

heavy work, but up here, I got a mind full of junk.

Hey,

Pop.

You look terrific, man. What you reading?

I'm reading this book here I bought.

with some of the profits that I made from the Russian adventure I was in. Oh,

let me take a look at that.

The art and culture of Japan. Hey, that's all right, man. Hey, thanks, son.

Yeah, you see, I learned a lot of things from watching you last week.

You know, there's a lot of things about Japan that I never even thought about.

You know, Pop, I can't believe you're saying all this.

Well, I did.

See, I know. I admit that I've been prejudiced, but now my eyes are open.

That's more than I can say for a Japanese.

That's not funny.

You're right, son. I apologize.

I really do. See, an old dog has to learn new tricks slowly.

But did you know a lot of the great TVs are made in Japan?

Yes, I did. Pop, what did you do with the rest of the profits from the

restaurant? And a lot of the popular cars are made in Japan.

I've heard that, too.

And Godzilla was made in Japan.

Totally slipped my mind. What did you do with the rest of the money from the

restaurant profits, Pop?

And the son of Godzilla.

Hey,

wouldn't that be great, son? A great title for a television series?

Godzilla is the son.

The money, Pop.

What did you do with the rest of the profits?

Well... Ready for your back rub, Mr. Stanford?

Also made in Japan.