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1
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I got them, Pop. I got the tickets.
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So what?
3
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We've been waiting for four weeks to get
these tickets.
4
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You've been waiting for four weeks to
get them tickets. I don't want to see no
5
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,180
dumb television show.
6
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But I know what'll make you feel better.
7
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I called up that lawyer, and he said if
we can prove that they're doing that
8
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television show about our life...
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We can sue the network for one million
dollars.
10
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You got him. You got him.
11
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You got the ticket.
12
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I knew that'd make you feel better.
13
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:50,450
Come on in.
14
00:01:56,810 --> 00:01:58,070
How you doing, Arniston?
15
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Hello, Lamar.
16
00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:01,910
Hello, Fred.
17
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,490
Hello, beautiful.
18
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Oh, you're calling me beautiful.
19
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,419
Now I'm looking at a junkyard.
20
00:02:11,039 --> 00:02:18,000
Hey, you don't mean nothing, honest. And
21
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,760
it's true. You look lovely.
22
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Thank you, baby.
23
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,600
That's it, son.
24
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Now you only got six months to live.
25
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,380
Are those the tickets?
26
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:33,200
Yeah. Did you get me one? Yeah, I got
four of them. Rollo came, too, just like
27
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,280
he promised. Oh, good.
28
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,520
Come on in.
29
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:49,290
Say, friend, it just occurred to me that
instead of people having to knock all
30
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,630
the time, you should get yourself a
doorbell.
31
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:57,530
You know, something classy like... Dum
-dum -dum.
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Dum -dum -dum.
33
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:06,270
Dum -dum -dum. As long as I got you, I
don't need no doorbell.
34
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:07,810
I got a dumbbell.
35
00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:12,170
All right, folks.
36
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,900
Where's everybody going dressed up so
nice?
37
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:25,900
Well, we got tickets to the hottest,
newest TV show in town.
38
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,560
Yeah? Yeah, we're going to see the
taping of Steinberg and Son.
39
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,780
Hey, got extra ticket?
40
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:38,040
Oh, I'm sorry, Bubba. Rollo could only
get four.
41
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,860
Oh, you know something?
42
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,460
I love that show, Fred.
43
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:45,960
It's just like it was a direct copy from
your life.
44
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:49,320
Yeah. Yeah, a mean, grouchy old father.
45
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,620
Wait a minute.
46
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The dumb son.
47
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,940
Wait a minute, Bubba.
48
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The ugly sister -in -law.
49
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,860
Watch it, sucker.
50
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,880
And the stupid bonding friend.
51
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,720
You're too hard on yourself, Bubba.
52
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:13,540
Well,
53
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,779
have fun.
54
00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:16,589
And tell me about it when you go home.
I'll get back in here.
55
00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:17,850
All right.
56
00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:21,230
Fred, I think Bob is right.
57
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:27,170
That's Joe Steinberg and son is a lot
like you and Lamont. And that Aunt Ethel
58
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:28,510
is exactly like you, Esther.
59
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:33,530
And that dumb friend is exactly like
you.
60
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:35,850
Only not as dumb.
61
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:41,670
Well, see, I don't agree with that at
all. I mean, that dumb friend is nothing
62
00:04:41,670 --> 00:04:42,629
like me.
63
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:46,140
If we can prove that they're copping our
life, We can sue him for a million
64
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,640
dollars. A million dollars?
65
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:51,660
Well, Fred, you know that dumb friend on
that show?
66
00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,240
It's me to a T.
67
00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,500
Yeah, that's right, Fred. Be honest now.
Tell the truth.
68
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,140
I'm dumb, right?
69
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,440
Son, I think his cage is stronger than
ours.
70
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,500
Let's go.
71
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:13,380
My name is Saul Green, and I'm the
associate producer of Steinberg and Son.
72
00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:17,450
And I'm out here to kind of get you
warmed up before we start the show, get
73
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,450
in a good mood.
74
00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:19,930
Anybody here from out of town?
75
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:20,989
Yeah, right here.
76
00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:21,909
Where are you from, sir?
77
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,310
Idaho. Idaho.
78
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:26,730
Wonderful. Put on your shoes and enjoy
the show, sir.
79
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:31,710
We have what we think is a wonderful
show in store for you.
80
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,090
And, uh, uh -oh.
81
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:49,590
Could you tell us?
82
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,570
Could you tell me why you're late?
83
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,760
Ready to start. Now, for those of you
who haven't seen our show, it's about a
84
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,940
junk dealer and his son who live in a
ghetto.
85
00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:27,420
That's it. Now, are there any last
-minute questions?
86
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:28,900
Where's my meat now?
87
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:36,300
I should have never brought you out. All
right, folks, here we go. Get ready,
88
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,880
relax, and enjoy.
89
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:08,150
That dude's supposed to be me.
90
00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:10,770
No, he don't look anything like you at
all, Lamar.
91
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,130
You're taller.
92
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:23,690
Is that the guy that's supposed to be
me?
93
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:25,870
Hello, dummy.
94
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:30,530
He sounds just like you too, Fred.
95
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,380
I'm getting tired of you calling me
dummy, you know? I mean, it's wrong for
96
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,920
to do it. You've got no reason to, so
stop it. Just stop it.
97
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:39,480
Listen to how you're talking.
98
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:40,880
It's amazing.
99
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:45,060
A boy who couldn't graduate high school
has such a college stupidity.
100
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,780
I had to quit high school because you
had a heart attack after Mom died, and I
101
00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:51,780
had to help you out here.
102
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,740
You hear that, Naomi, darling?
103
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,460
It's all my fault.
104
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,050
I should have had a heart attack after.
After he graduated high school.
105
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,070
Hello, men.
106
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,170
Hello, men.
107
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:16,630
Hello, baby.
108
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:22,530
What do you want? What do I want? Did
you forget?
109
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:25,090
Tonight's the night we watch the monster
movies.
110
00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:26,750
It's a double feature.
111
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,930
Godzilla comes home for Passover.
112
00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:32,490
and Gork gets bar mitzvahed.
113
00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:35,070
Oh, yeah.
114
00:08:35,289 --> 00:08:38,190
So sit down and make yourself
comfortable.
115
00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:40,010
Yoo -hoo, Mary!
116
00:08:40,549 --> 00:08:41,809
In here, Art Ethel.
117
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:43,390
Oh, no.
118
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:48,850
Hello,
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00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:55,390
Max.
120
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:58,970
Look at it, Gaby.
121
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:02,590
She looks like an air ran over her face
with a tank.
122
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:08,530
You watch it! You bagelite! You bagelite
locks!
123
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,010
You! You!
124
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:14,290
I'm sorry, people. Uh, what is the line?
125
00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:36,490
guy's supposed to be me. Why does he
walk so funny?
126
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:39,890
I have no idea.
127
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:44,670
You know, watching that show, Fred, was
just like watching you and Lamont and
128
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:48,010
Esther. And what is a bagel?
129
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:52,710
That's a round, hard thing with a hole
in it, like your head, Grady.
130
00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:57,590
You know, Pop, though, that's true, man.
That story is based on our life. The
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00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:58,750
truck, the initials, everything.
132
00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,230
Everything but the aunt.
133
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:03,110
See, there's no...
134
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,300
In the world that could play Esther.
135
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,540
Unless they dig up Trigger.
136
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,560
He didn't mean that, Aunt Esther.
137
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,340
Hey, why don't you stop it, Pop? Now,
you know that lawyer's gonna be here any
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00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,080
minute. We got that personal business to
discuss.
139
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,720
I can take a hint.
140
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,500
No, just take a walk.
141
00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:35,910
I've seen your home, Esther.
142
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:44,130
I didn't say my home. I said me home.
143
00:10:44,690 --> 00:10:45,690
But why?
144
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:50,350
There's all type of men who might attack
a person walking the streets alone.
145
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:54,750
Yeah, Grady, and you all go along with
her, then you wouldn't have to be
146
00:10:56,730 --> 00:11:01,930
Me? Yeah, because they figure any guy
that could put clothes on a gorilla is
147
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:02,930
tough to mess with.
148
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:18,540
As far as I see, we have a case here of
invasion of privacy as well as a
149
00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:21,880
violation of your private and personal
right to obtain profit.
150
00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:23,220
How much?
151
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:28,220
All actionable both at law and at equity
with remedies and damages and
152
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:31,780
injunctions. How much? I'm talking about
a million dollars.
153
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,060
Keep on talking.
154
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,500
Are you ready to go all the way with
this case?
155
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:39,540
All the way. It may drag on for months.
I got months.
156
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,600
We may have to go all the way to the
highest court in the land.
157
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,270
All the way. Then you're willing 100 %?
158
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,590
All the way, see?
159
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:53,730
This is America, where right makes
might, where justice is blind, where
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00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:58,670
law is king, and where a man should be
able to pursue his democratic rights, no
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00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:01,270
matter what it costs him in time,
effort, and or money.
162
00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:06,650
Wow, man, I'm proud of you, Pop. Thanks,
sir. Okay, I'll need about $10 to file
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00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:07,650
a complaint.
164
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,770
I dropped the case.
165
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:15,340
I dropped the case, and I... I plead non
-complimentous and I apologize to your
166
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:16,620
hideous and your corpus.
167
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:23,480
Hey, Pop, what are you being so cheap
about? It's only $10, man, and we stand
168
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,480
make a million dollars.
169
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,499
You're right, son.
170
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:30,780
I shouldn't be a cheapskate. After all,
what's $10 to get to the Supreme Court?
171
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,500
$10 ain't nothing.
172
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:33,540
I'm not cheap.
173
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,200
Give me $10, son.
174
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:13,060
Mr. McJohn, this is Mr. Sanford.
175
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,160
Fred Sanford.
176
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,040
Mr. Sanford, this is Bert Lipson.
177
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240
Hello, Bert Lipson.
178
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:19,940
Fred.
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00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,040
My son, Lamont.
180
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,760
Lamont. How are you? Lawyer, Albert
Brock.
181
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:24,599
How you doing?
182
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:25,600
Brock. Brock.
183
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:27,860
I'm Anthony Marvinowski, attorney for
NBC.
184
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:30,160
How do you do? This is my client, Fred
Sanford.
185
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:34,880
Fred G. Sanford. If you got my million
dollars, the G is for goody -goody gimme
186
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,880
and I'm gone.
187
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:38,599
Have a seat.
188
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,660
Thank you very much.
189
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:45,100
Now, to begin with, there seems to be
some question as to whether you're
190
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,480
entitled to that million dollars.
191
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:50,200
To begin with, there's some question
whether you're entitled to your teeth.
192
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:55,400
Just what makes you think that the show
and the characters were stolen from your
193
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,600
life? Well, we're in the junk business.
194
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:59,120
Our name is Sanford and Son.
195
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,920
We drive a red pickup truck, and we live
in a house exactly like the one on your
196
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,960
show. But, uh, young man.
197
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:09,780
I'm sure you don't suggest for one
moment that the character I play is like
198
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:10,780
father here.
199
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:13,500
I'm suggesting all the way to the
Supreme Court.
200
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:18,420
Surely no real human being could be that
mean.
201
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,540
Disrespectful of women.
202
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,560
Insulting to his own son and live in
such a sloppy home.
203
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:28,580
I know some people like that.
204
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,800
But certainly not you.
205
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,490
No, no, not me, not me, no way.
206
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:37,710
Well, then there goes your case.
207
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,770
They do have a little resemblance.
208
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:45,670
Then you are claiming that the character
that Mr. Lipson portrays is really you.
209
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,990
Well, all but the part about the way I
treat my son bad.
210
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,190
See, I'm not that bad.
211
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,450
Pop. Shut up, dummy.
212
00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:55,490
We rest our case.
213
00:14:57,890 --> 00:15:00,410
Katie, is Bernie on his way up? Yes,
sir.
214
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:05,230
Bernie Taub is the creator and producer
of Steinberg and Son. Now, perhaps this
215
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:09,290
all can be settled quite easily if we
just find out where exactly he got his
216
00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:11,390
idea from. Well, I'll tell you where he
got his idea from.
217
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:16,050
He came to watch and saw my place and
had a Xerox and brought it here and sold
218
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,050
it to some fool.
219
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,450
I bought the idea myself.
220
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,210
Well, no offense.
221
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:23,070
Some of my best friends are fools.
222
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,520
Mr. Sanford, this is the man you say
stole your life?
223
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:34,760
Uh -huh.
224
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:37,660
Who is it?
225
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,680
Are you the executive writer and creator
of Steinberg and Son? That's right.
226
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,260
Well, what are you doing black?
227
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,560
Have you two met before?
228
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:53,600
No, we haven't. Well, what gave you the
idea of joining Steinberg and Son?
229
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,400
It was about a year ago.
230
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,920
I couldn't break into television with
any of my ideas.
231
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,620
And then I heard about these two people
from my cousin Rollo.
232
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,380
Rollo?
233
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:09,880
See, the son was a nothing, and the
father was a nothing who yelled at the
234
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:10,880
all the time.
235
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,820
But no matter what, those two nothings
really loved each other.
236
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:20,420
Now, are you really trying to tell us
that you are those two nothings? Don't
237
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:21,420
say that!
238
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:23,060
Hey,
239
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,180
Puck, did you have to hit that guy?
240
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,860
The head legal counsel at NBC.
241
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,120
Well, he shouldn't have called you a
nothing.
242
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,680
Now, I don't mind calling you a dummy,
but you ain't nothing.
243
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:41,340
What I can't understand is why you
simply refused to continue the
244
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:43,460
Obviously, we had a strong case.
245
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,240
Yeah, I don't understand that either.
Well, see, I didn't want to hurt the
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00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,320
writer, you know, because he needed a
break. He's nice.
247
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,800
Yeah, but I would think that that would
be the last person you'd be willing to
248
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,800
help, Rollo's cousin.
249
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,420
Well, he had nothing to do with it.
Rollo's cousin just was a nice guy and
250
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,420
needed a break.
251
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:02,490
Hey, that's Rollo. What's he doing here?
252
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:05,230
Well, I called him up and told him to
bring his evilness over here.
253
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,790
What's happening, Rollo? Hold on, hold
on. What?
254
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,770
What exactly was that?
255
00:17:14,069 --> 00:17:18,650
Uh, Steinberg and Stennis. What's
happening, Rollo? Did you or did you
256
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:23,349
fact, tell your cousin, one Bernie Taub,
about the life and times of Fred G.
257
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:27,890
Sanford and his son, Lamont, here and
after referred to as the Nothings? Yes,
258
00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:31,560
what? Me and the poor brother, man,
needed a lucky break, and I helped him.
259
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,920
And how much are you getting from the
studio each week for coming up with that
260
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:41,560
idea? We're going to sue NBC for doing
Steinberg and Son about our life. And
261
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,320
this is our lawyer, Albert Brock.
262
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,740
Hey, look here, Pop. I mean, you and
Brother Brock might have a case here,
263
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,360
know, if you want to get my cousin in
trouble.
264
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:53,000
But, man, I'm not getting one thin dime
from it.
265
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,600
I mean, I gave the brother the idea for
nothing.
266
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:57,670
And now he's made a break in the TV.
267
00:17:57,930 --> 00:18:01,630
And I hate to knock him out. I hate to
knock him out, too. But I don't hate to
268
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:02,630
knock you out.
269
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:06,570
Bird.
270
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:12,590
Bird, there's nothing I can do. I'm
sorry. We've got a contract. Your salary
271
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:14,390
set. I can't give you a penny more.
272
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,150
I don't want a penny more.
273
00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:19,470
All I want is a rehearsal hall without
windows.
274
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:23,390
Well, pull the curtain. I hate curtains.
275
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,010
I want...
276
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:30,190
All right, all right. We'll have walls
built into the windows.
277
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:33,210
Thank you.
278
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:40,910
Hello, you.
279
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,250
Hello, me.
280
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,710
Mac, I've been talking to Bertie. Yeah,
what's going on?
281
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,430
Bertie admits that his cousin did get
the idea from Sanford, and he's got a
282
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,550
and a good one back.
283
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:54,469
All right.
284
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:55,530
How much do you want?
285
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,040
Two hundred.
286
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,180
Two hundred thousand dollars?
287
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,940
No, man. Two hundred dollars a week.
288
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,440
Oh, yeah?
289
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,580
Yeah. And a title.
290
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:09,000
Creative Executive Consultant of
Steinberg Design.
291
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,320
All right.
292
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,180
And a small part every now and then to
help the ratings.
293
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:15,500
All right. And what?
294
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,000
And a dressing room with my name on the
door.
295
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:20,900
Uh -huh. And lots of windows.
296
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,880
Lots and lots of windows. You got it.
297
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,740
Okay, well, thank you very much. Good
day.
298
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,600
Hey, listen, Steinberg. Yes?
299
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,620
Now, let me tell you. Yes?
300
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:36,820
When Aunt Ethel walks in, you don't have
to say nothing to her. Just stand there
301
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:37,960
and look at her like this.
302
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,460
You mean like this?
303
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:52,440
Did you guys just eat in the NBC
commissary?
304
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:57,350
I just want to ask you a question. If
you're going to write a story about my
305
00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:01,730
life, why don't you make it black, about
black people, and call it Sanford and
306
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:02,730
Son?
307
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:04,310
Sanford and Son?
308
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,890
They would never make it.
309
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:15,990
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we are
again, the 14th episode of Steinberg and
310
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:16,990
Son.
311
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:25,720
Hey, Pop, I'm home.
312
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,080
Go to the telephone, dial information,
and ask.
313
00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,340
Who cares?
314
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,380
Hey, listen, Pop, you're going to kill
me. I'll tell you this. There's somebody
315
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:36,020
outside who wants to buy every piece of
junk we have in the yard.
316
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,500
Well, why are you letting him stand
outside, dummy?
317
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,340
Come right in, sir.
318
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,680
Listen.
319
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,560
I was driving by, and I noticed all the
junk that you had here, Nick.
320
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,460
Hi.
321
00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:57,370
Now, let's take that line again.
322
00:20:58,270 --> 00:21:01,450
Hey, I was driving by, and I noticed all
this junk that you have here.
323
00:21:01,770 --> 00:21:03,510
Now, wait. We have to take it from your
entrance.
324
00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:07,110
I was driving by, and we have to take it
from your entrance.
325
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:09,230
Hey,
326
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:10,610
you wait a minute. Director, look.
327
00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:12,650
Now, this is all wrong.
328
00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:16,150
Now, I wouldn't come in through this
door here like that and say what I just
329
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:19,810
said. This show is going out before
millions of people. It's got to be
330
00:21:20,090 --> 00:21:21,090
Give me a cue.
331
00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:22,650
I'll show you.
332
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,460
Come right in.
333
00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:39,880
Three minutes before Steinberg
334
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:40,880
and Son.
335
00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:42,260
Hey, where's your father, Lamont?
336
00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:44,760
Oh, he's upstairs resting, Bubba. Don't
worry. He'll be down in time.
337
00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:49,320
For a man making his debut on TV, he's
taking it pretty calmly.
338
00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:06,170
Please, everyone, no autograph.
339
00:22:06,550 --> 00:22:09,410
Elizabeth, son, I'm afraid you're
sitting in the star's chair.
340
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:10,810
Excuse me?
341
00:22:11,670 --> 00:22:15,530
Well, Grady, about time to get it on,
ain't it? Ready when you are, F .S.
342
00:22:18,390 --> 00:22:24,930
And now for the premiere of a brand -new
comedy about today's teenagers all in
343
00:22:24,930 --> 00:22:25,930
the family way.
344
00:22:26,230 --> 00:22:27,930
What? What's wrong here?
345
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:33,150
There you go.
346
00:22:33,530 --> 00:22:34,530
Hey, Ronald.
347
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,080
at the right time. Hey, Pop, I know
where you're coming from, Jack. You can
348
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,060
worrying. Steinberg and Son was
canceled.
349
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:45,000
Canceled? What? Yeah, man, cuz that
rating was so bad, bad, bad, man. Plus,
350
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,120
nobody even watched the show.
351
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,860
I thought the show was just terrific.
352
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,120
Oh, man, come on, Pop. Be better, Jack.
I mean, it was a boy.
353
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,500
I mean, who wants to watch a grouchy old
man running across the screen yelling
354
00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:58,960
at his son? Man, that's dead.
355
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,980
Well, I got a new TV show for me and
you, Rollo.
356
00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,230
Hey, that's big, Pop. What's it called?
357
00:23:04,530 --> 00:23:06,610
Well, it's called Rollo Derby.
358
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,570
That's why I stayed all over your face.
359
00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:11,530
Well,
360
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,190
I think we got enough.
361
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,610
Call them, Fred.
362
00:23:22,710 --> 00:23:23,990
They're shorter like one of them.
363
00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:26,730
One of them? Yeah, like all of them.
Hey, what you doing, Pop?
364
00:23:27,330 --> 00:23:28,810
Oh, son, I was about to call the
network.
365
00:23:29,110 --> 00:23:31,190
See, listen to these TV shows we came up
with.
366
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:37,600
See, the first... There's a police show
based on my life called Co -Jump.
367
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,460
And I got a new sports show for you and
your friends of mine. Really?
368
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,060
Uh -huh. Yeah, it's called Darling for
Dummies.
369
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,160
Just stop it. You think that's good?
370
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:58,120
Mine is a musical cooking show called
Evie and Galvin Gourmet.
371
00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:06,140
And here's the topic. I mean, this is
the one that shoot itself.
372
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,900
It's about a family of pioneer plumbers.
I'm afraid to ask what it's called.
373
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:14,680
It's called Little Outhouses on the
Prairie.
29445
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