Original subtitles

Where were you, Grady?

I was just standing behind you reading the paper.

And I was the one that said, uh -uh.

No, I mean, where have you been since earlier this morning?

Oh, traveling, Rollo. It's a two -hour bus ride from my daughter's house out in

Westwood. Hey, man, that was five hours ago.

Oh, yeah. Well, you see, the bus that I got on, it went through Beverly Hills.

And when it got into Beverly Hills and stopped, I decided to get off.

For what?

I wanted to mingle with the Hoy Palois.

You know, so that's why I'm late. I started walking up and down those

Hills streets, up to Hoy and down to Palois.

And, Rollo, after looking at those millionaire's homes,

I got carried away.

Carried away by the Beverly Hills Mansions? No, by the Beverly Hills

They don't like us walking around looking at those millionaire's homes.

You mean you got busted?

Oh, no, just questioned and directed to the number 83 bus.

Where's Freddie Lamont, brother?

He's out looking for you.

Oh.

You know what, Ron?

What? I just think I'm going to move out of my daughter's house.

I mean, I just feel so miserable there.

Hey, man, it's natural to feel that way.

It is?

Sure it is.

Look, man, I mean, you're living with them, right? Yeah.

And you feel like you're taking and not giving them anything, right? Right.

Well, tell me this. How do they like the housewarming gift you give them?

Well, they never said thank you.

Why not?

I never gave them one.

You know, a nice housewarming gift, man. Then they'll be grateful to you. Then

you'll feel good because you gave them something.

Oh, wow.

You're right, Rollo.

Hey, that's really great.

I'll go get them something that they want, and then they'll really be glad

met me.

Yeah, thanks, Rollo.

Original oil painting for over the fireplace in the living room.

And I'll get it from one of those

very expensive art stores and spend my very last cent on it.

$67 .80.

All right. Now, the only way you're going to get anything out of this

is to get your knees up to your chest. Come on, now. Come on.

Come on.

Let's see this exercise.

Can you feel that? Here, like this. I see it again.

That's it. All right. Now, this exercise is good for stretching the hamstring

muscles, all right? How many should we do, coach? Well, you do ten, and then

build up, all right? Now, let's see. We want to get these to here, okay? Now,

one, two, three.

There it is. That's it. That's it.

three, four, five. Now, how does that feel? Oh, I feel it. I really feel it.

Good, good.

After you gentlemen are done feeling it, I'd like to leave the coach in the

kitchen, please. Sure.

Why don't you change places? I'll be right back. Okay, coach.

Did you just drop that?

No, baby. I didn't just drop that.

That is our winter crop coming in.

Oh, well, hey, look.

The celery is doing fine and the radishes are all nice and red. The

all nice and green. Oh, my goodness. Look how nice those legs are coming in.

can't wait for dinner.

I think I'm eating out.

Well, listen, what's the matter? Well, it's four o 'clock and we're having a

dinner party at eight on the dining room table.

Now, if you don't get the UCLA track team off of it, we're going to have a

lumpy tablecloth.

Uh, you got it.

Is, uh, my father home yet?

Papa, no, I haven't seen him.

Well, I hope everything's all right. I mean, it's getting late.

Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine, so why don't you just come on over here?

Will you stop that? Hmm?

Hal. Hmm?

I mean, you know what you are. What?

You are a sex maniac.

I mean, I'm married a sex maniac.

Thank you, dear.

Pleasure. Oh, just bring that pleasure right on over here.

Oh, you got it.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Vic. Daddy not home yet?

Roger, this is my mom and dad. Yes, mom and dad.

Hey, Roger, how you doing? Hiya, Coach. I'm coming out for the freshman track

team this year. I'm really looking forward to training under you.

in Chicago, and I read all about you when you were on the track team here.

Oh, man, you were something else.

Incredible. Hey, Roger, Roger.

What's your event?

Oh, he does a two -minute handshake.

Roger's going to help me with my homework.

Come on, Rog.

Bye, Coach.

Wow.

Are you done with me? Oh, yes.

Oh, but would you get Tweedledum and Tweedledummer off my dining table?

Sure, but how about a quick kiss first?

Ask him.

You know, Ellie, sometimes I don't think you realize that you are living in the

same house with the great Hal Marshall.

Well, now, how could I forget?

Hey, son.

Hi, Pop.

Mom. Yes, ma 'am. Why'd you put those two white guys in the dining room table?

Is he bothering you?

He is my friend, Roger. This is my Grandpa Grady. Hi. Nice to meet you.

I left my notebook in your bedroom.

In the bedroom?

Oh, it's all right. We were just doing our homework.

Homework in the bedroom?

in the bedroom, what's the name of the cord?

present for the party a present for the oh

poppy i mean poppy you didn't have to do that uh poppy

i'm sorry that i yelled at you no no no it's all right i love it when you yell

at me that's what families are supposed to do in their own

Oh, come on, Ellie. Now you're just jealous because she's thinner than you

Uh, you're not funny, Harold. No.

I mean, all those university people coming, and what's the first thing

going to see when I open the door?

A naked lady with her fingers in her mouth.

Ellie, you're not going to get dressed for the party?

Would you just go out and take it down? No, I can't do that. Now, just think

about how your father's going to feel.

I am thinking about how my husband is going to look. To whom?

Oh, to Professor Stoneham, your coach, Boomer Bradley, your colleagues.

Baby, listen, just go out and take it down.

All right. All right, I'll go out and I'll take it down, but you're going to

have to tell your father why.

Oh, you are a coward, aren't you? I mean, that's what you are, a coward. No,

no, I am a sex maniac.

You are a coward.

I'm going to go right out there and tell him exactly the truth.

I'm going to tell him that I love it and you can't stand it. Oh, no, no, no, no.

look right when those people from the university come to my house.

I want the folks from your alma mater to really like your alma mater.

Excuse me, uh, professor?

Uh, can I get you something?

Oh, no, thank you, Mr. Wilson. We're just fine.

Did you want something to rest you? Do you have any carrot juice?

Uh, I'll see if I can squeeze you some.

Aren't you the professor of art at the university?

Yes, I am.

Well, now may I ask your honest prejudiced opinion?

Of the piece of art over the fireplace?

Oh, well, that I bought with my last penny.

I love it.

And on the back, there's a very important piece of paper with writing on

Uh, probably the story of the painting. No, the model's phone number.

Yes, yes.

Why, I like you.

I'll see if I can get you some carrots.

Coach,

everything all right?

Mrs. Bradley?

Oh, wonderful.

Thank you. It's great being in your house, Hal. We've come full circle,

we? I remember the time you came off the track 15 years ago.

Look at him. He hasn't changed a bit. Still in great shape.

Dedicated. Team came first.

Holds three records here at the school.

Hey, let me ask you something.

Do you still have the same thighs?

I think so.

Phyllis, feel those thighs.

Don't be shy. Get it.

Get it. Get it.

Are those thighs?

Well,

Coach, I can see you're having a great time. I'll talk to you later.

He's going to make some addition to our athletic department.

Well, thank goodness he isn't in the art department.

Why? Why would he hang that picture?

I don't know.

He should have hung the artist.

Tell us.

Oh, this is so nice. How are you?

This is the best that I could do.

The worst combination of colors I've ever seen.

You should be used to that.

And you know ugly? I know ugly. What could be ugly?

Ugly picture.

to my daughter as a present. Now, she knew it was tasteless, but she hung it

anyway because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

My daughter and son -in -law have as much class as anybody in this room and a

lot more nice.

So don't you think that they're stupid.

It's me who's stupid.

I'm going up to my room.

He'll be all right. Come here.

Oh, Hal, listen. I've called everywhere. I mean, where is he? Easy.

He's a grown man and he can take care of himself.

But... Okay?

I didn't have the money for a bus.

Tommy!

Where have you been? You have been going crazy. Come in here and sit down. No,

no, no. You sit down. I don't want to sit down. I just need some... Just sit

down.

Buy us some money for the party. Poppy, just tell us where you've been. No, no,

no. Don't ask me where I've been because I don't want to have to tell you that

I'm leaving.

Leaving?

Poppy, why do you want to leave?

Because I'm just taking, taking, taking.

I'm not giving, giving, giving.

taking anything.

He's right, Poppy. You're giving.

What do I give?

Oh, Poppy.

Remember what you used to tell me when I was little? Huh?

You used to say, if a tree don't have no root, you don't have no tree.

Now that's what you give this family, Poppy, our root.

I give that?

Yes, Poppy.

And the tackiest painting I've ever seen in my entire life.

I mean, my picture made your house look ugly.

That dumb painting shouldn't make us uncomfortable in our own home.

Papa, you bought that painting because you love us, right?

And we hung it because we love you.

Enough?

Hmm?

Enough. Okay. All right. Hey.

Hey, come here.

Oh, no.

All right.

I'm going up to my room.

Oh, Ellie.

Yes, Pop?

I hate flower sheets in my room.

I mean, they make me feel like I'm sleeping in a forest.

Yes, dear.

I hate solid purple.

Get purple.

with a whole bunch.

And they asked me to fix some chocolate milk to go with the chocolate chip

cookies. Hey, Grant.