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That's some hard work there. That thing is really, really heavy.
That was really rough.
Listen, Yerby, I want to thank you. See, Lamont's out with the truck, and I
didn't know how I was going to get this tub on. Yeah, Yerby.
Oh, yeah, go ahead and let it down, Junior.
This is Junior?
If this is Junior, I'd hate to see you sing.
Hey, who is he, Yerby?
Junior Joe Lewis.
I call him that because he fights like Joe Lewis.
He's a professional fighter?
That's right.
And I'm his manager.
I remember when all you could stand and manage was some tips and towels in the
toilet at the Kit Kat Club.
Yeah, last time I saw you, you were working at the carnival, selling pony
Yeah. You sure look funny with that saddle on your back.
And that fake tail.
Yeah, well, that's all behind me now.
It was all behind you then.
Since I got into the fight game. No kidding. Well, look, we're going in the
house to have a couple of beers. You can tell me about it. A beer?
Not for you.
You go finish your road work.
Road work.
Well,
he's not as dumb as he looks.
Nobody can be dumb as he looks.
Come on in here. Have a little sit -down. Anywhere you want to.
I'll get us a couple of beers.
Hey, Yerby.
That fighter of yours, good like you say he is, a real contender.
In fact, he's going to fight right here in L .A. this week.
No kidding.
I sure would like to see that.
If he can get us a couple of tickets for me and Lamar.
Hey, I can do better than that.
How would you like to be right up there in the ring with him?
What are you talking about?
Look. Junior is a million -dollar fighter, and I'm offering you a part of
Which part? The part that eats or the part that sits on the counter?
Fred, Junior is sensational.
I'm really offering you a half a million dollars.
Half of me. Half, half, half of me.
Half of me. Half of me.
I can't even get my tongue to go up that high.
we finish this, how much is this going to cost me?
300 bucks.
300 what bucks?
No, 200.
200 what?
200 minus 100 equals 100.
I'll make it minus 50 and then we got a deal. You got it. I'll take it.
I'll take that.
Hey, hey, hey, have you seen my knife?
To surprise Lamar, I was getting some new tires for the truck. But here it is.
Good.
Now, you know that part of the deal is that you keep Junior here in training.
Where are you going?
I got to go to San Diego.
Well, what am I supposed to do with Junior?
Rip him into shape.
Okay. Shorten up his punches. That's all right. Build up his stamina. I can do
that. Smarten him up. Give me my money back.
Ain't nobody gets smarten over here.
Did you run around the... block 20 times? 20 times. Now, Mr. Sanford,
your new part owner, and I want you to do everything he tells you. First thing
is keep that left up.
No, left, dummy, left, left.
This one, up. Look here, I got a blank contract right here.
Let me check this over first, because it's got to be right.
That's right.
There you go. John Hancock. Yeah, well, now, good luck, and train him hard.
What's the matter with you? What are you cranky and grouchy about?
I'm cranky and grouchy because I got a flat tire on the truck and I changed it
and the spare was flat.
I had to walk two and a half miles from Al's garage.
And that's also the reason why I wish we lived closer to a river so I could push
that truck in it.
Forget the truck.
I'm thinking seriously of getting you a half -ton pickup from Rose and Royce.
I recognize a familiar gleam in your eye.
Gleam?
It's that sun -we're -going -to -get -rich -quick gleam.
Come on, Pop. What did you buy?
I just bought a little something for the house.
Pop,
I'm going to give you five seconds to explain to me what it's doing here.
A junior here is a professional fighter.
Pop, you bought a fighter?
Huh?
You bought a fighter?
Yeah, you see, he's fighting with me. You remember my old buddy, Yerby?
Yerby? Yerby's mixed up in this.
Not mixed up, involved.
Pop, how could you do any kind of business with Yerby, man?
How much did it cost?
A measly 50 bucks.
50 bucks?
You spent our last 50 bucks on a fighter, Pop. I was saving that money
truck. Well, forget the truck.
All right, I'll put a grill in Junior's mouth and drive him to work.
What is it?
You just wait and see.
Wait and see, son. I'll get us rich. And not just from Junior's fighting, but
from souvenirs and them sweatshirts and all that stuff they sell.
And just how do you plan on doing this? I'm going down and renegotiating
Junior's contract.
Pop, you don't know nothing about the boxing game.
Who don't know nothing about boxing? I used to box myself years ago.
Used to call me Fast Fist Freddy with the Floyd Floyd.
This looks like something right out of one of those old movies.
I can just close my eyes and see.
I can see.
You know, if my eyes close, I can't see a damn thing.
Just sit down somewhere, you know.
Say, Fred, Mr.
Fitzgerald told us to come in and wait. He did not say make ourselves at home.
Listen, one thing I know, Brady, is this fight game.
See, you gotta be cocky, or else people will run all over you. Oh.
Okay, gentlemen, what can I do for you?
Don't sit in that chair.
What do you mean, don't sit in this chair? Listen, I'm tough and I'm cocky,
I know the fight game.
I'll tell you something you don't know, tough and cocky.
That chair was just painted.
Fred Big Money Sanford.
This is my associate, Small Change Wilson.
Who's the fighter you're here to talk about?
Well, listen, I'm Junior Joe Lewis' manager.
What do you mean? I thought he was Yerby's fighter.
I'm Yerby's partner, and I'll come here to check over and talk over some new
details with you. What do you mean, details?
Look, just have the fighter down there Friday night, 8 .30, in a pair of trunks
and a bathrobe. So how? We can begin negotiations right there.
What do you mean? Fred doesn't have a bathrobe.
You shut up, Brady, because I put round five in your mouth.
Okay, gentlemen, I'll see you on Friday.
Listen, we haven't finished negotiating nothing yet.
What do you mean? I think we covered a lot.
Three of the major points.
First, you're one of your B -suckers.
Second, you're short of bathrobe. And third, you like to sit on wet paint.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fight.
Now, listen, we've got to negotiate the television and see who's going to get
the television rights.
Then we've got to figure out what we're going to do with the souvenirs and all
those other things. And first, the main thing is, who is going to be interviewed
by Howard Cosell?
Now, wait a minute. I don't think you understand. You see, this is just a four
-round preliminary fight. The winner just gets $100, and that is less the
fee for the bathrobe. Now, that's the deal.
Oh, that's the old deal. Here it is. Now, if we discuss this stuff, we
the television rights, or else me and my fighter, we walk. You get that, Buster?
I think I understand your position.
I think he understands your position, Fred. I know he understands my position.
He calls his attorney and accountant now to get some advice.
Hello, I want to talk to Max.
He's talking to Max. He didn't, Fred. He didn't. Big money, Fred.
Hello? Hello, Max.
Now, on Friday night, Junior Joe Lewis is out. Put in Irish Doogie Doogie.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. We got a contract. Well, sue me.
Wait a minute, but we got to set the television right. You can have the
television right. It's been nice talking to you gentlemen. Listen, I'll tell you
what. I'll put on Lamont's band robe and you can be interviewed by Howard
Cosell. So what?
Wait a minute. Oh,
boy, you did it, Fred.
You got him on the ropes now.
Now finish the job. Borrow one of the ropes and hang yourself.
If you don't mind, he's helping me, you know. My father left and took the truck
again. We don't have no truck. No truck. No money. No money.
No eat.
Eat. Eat.
And for breakfast, this bottomless pit ate a dozen eggs, a half a pound of
bacon, and a loaf of toast.
And an hour later, I caught him looking fondly at Julio's goat.
Goat. Goat.
Fred, Fred, I think you better feed Junior.
Okay, great. I'll tell you what.
You take him on down to the supermarket, and when he heat up around $2 worth,
put your hand over his mouth.
So look here, watch your fingers.
Oh, okay, Fred.
Listen, you've been busy all day negotiating fights.
What'd you get?
He got four stripes of free paint, and the fight canceled.
Come on, Junior, let's eat.
Eat, eat.
Well, you did it now, Pop. We broke.
And without the truck, we got no way of making no money. Forget the truck.
Forget the truck. How are we going to make money if we don't have no truck?
Listen, son, don't ever count me out because all my life I've made my living
with my wits.
Well, I certainly hope you can eat your wits, Pop, because Junior ate everything
else.
Nobody fools Fred Stanford. Nobody misuses Fred Stanford. I know how to
that thing. I just call that old Clancy Fitzgerald down there.
When I get through being mean and...
I'll watch him crumble under my pressure.
Count, count.
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, eleven, eleven.
Wow!
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, eleven, eleven, twelve.
Twelve, twelve, twelve. Oh, hi.
Oh, hi, Freddy.
How you doing?
Oh, fun.
I like this ring that I borrowed from the Y.
Brady, what are all these people doing here? Oh, those are fight fans, and they
paid 50 cents to watch Junior work out. You mean to tell me they paid 50 cents
to watch him skip rope?
Brady, they could go down to the schoolyard and see it for free.
Hey, buddy, he's been jumping rope for a half an hour. How about some action?
Hi, Lamont. Oh, hi, Yerby.
Well, how are things?
My father, Mr. Fight Promoter, got your fight canceled.
He did what?
Where is he? In the house.
Fred, what did you do?
Shh.
Gary B., I'm concentrating on the schedule for Junior's personal
tour. Tour?
Right. I figure we can cover 37 cities in four days.
And then if we carry along a rock group, Junior can sing in between fights.
But Lamar just told me that Junior's fight was canceled.
Yeah, every next time a little bird whispers something in your ear, make
it's not a loony bird.
Then the fight's back on.
99 and 44, 100's back on.
See, now Clancy's coming over here later on to watch Junior fight, and if he
likes what he sees, we back in business.
Watch him fight?
Yeah. Well, who's his firing party?
You did hire his firing partners, didn't you?
Yeah, but you don't think I'd leave out the most important detail, do you? See,
I plan ahead.
Lamont? Put your gloves on, son, and go out there and get ready to go around the
junior.
You must be crazy. I ain't going to fight nobody.
Son, don't look at it as a fight. Look at it as our new red truck.
I look at it as my fresh red blood.
I ain't fighting nobody.
All right, keep it up, keep it up.
Oh, say, Lamar.
I want you to meet Mr. Clancy Fitzgerald, a fight promoter. How you
Mr. Wilson, where is Junior's sparring partner? I haven't got all day.
I know, Mr. Fitzgerald. Time is money and money is time.
That's the first thing I learned as a boxing trainer.
About 2 .30 this afternoon.
Look, I think you guys should know something. Hi, Clancy.
Hello, Yerby.
Folks, you'll notice a celebrity has just joined us in here in camp.
One of the great names in the fight business.
Oh, you don't have to introduce me, Irby.
I'm talking about a great fight promoter, Mr. Clancy Fitzgerald.
Okay, folks, now you've all been watching the champ exercise and work
in a few minutes, we're going to present some thrilling exhibition boxing.
Oh, no, we're not.
Oh, yes, we are.
You think I'm selling sherbet?
Look, I can't let you go in there and fight Junior. You'll get killed.
Oh, no, I won't.
I'm going in there to take care of him. When I come back, I might give you two
or three of these across your lips.
Okay, over and out now.
Don't eat it!
I can see right through your little skin. See, you think you're going to
me into going in there and fighting Junior, but it's not going to work. If
want to go in there and fight Junior, go on with your bad self.
Well, I won't do.
Now, help me get through them ropes.
to him?
Hey, my Mark, I tried to, but he's determined to get those new tires for
truck. How did you know about that?
Hey, that's the first thing he said to me when I mentioned this deal to him,
that you could get killed on those bald -headed tires, and he was going to get
you some new ones.
He said that?
Let me have the gloves, Pop.
There you go, sir.
Thank you so much. You know what you're asking me to do, don't you? You're
asking me to come in here and get killed.
Well, I'm only going to ask you this one time.
All right. You both know the rule.
Okay.
Now, Junior, I want you to hit him hard, move him fast, and don't let up.
And listen, son.
You hit him slow and hit him soft.
And when he hits you right in your mouth and in your nose together, make it look
like it's bleeding.
And then when he knocks you unconscious, lay there and don't move.
Okay, son.
Go ahead.
All right.
Now, you both know the rules. When you hear the bell, come out and fight.
Well, let's get this over with.
I don't want to see him anywhere near the arena.
I don't want to be near the arena where you are because you're a crook and
you're cheating and you're not honest.
to buy you out. He needs 50. 50 for him and 25 for me for a new belly button.
There you go.
All right, Junior, come on, let's get dressed and get out of here.
Let's eat. Eat.
Oh.
Well, we made our money back and put us a couple extra dollars.
Yeah, sir.
I hope you learned a lesson. I did learn a lesson. I did, sonny. You go on in
there on the couch and sit down and relax and rest your stomach.
I'll be right in there in a minute.
Now, step right up, folks. Right now, we're going to have the big contest.
Anyone that wants to come in the ring and can last three minutes with me can
$10. It don't make no difference. I take all covers.
Anybody? How about you, sir?
Would you have this old lady in the ring?
Hey, why don't you come outside with me and look at the new tires I got for the
truck? Not right now, son. I'm trying to figure out a nickname for myself.
A nickname?
Yeah. What for?
I'm going back in the ring.
Now, just wait a minute. Now, I've got to draw the line someplace, Pop. I'm not
going to let you go in the ring and fight.
I'm not talking about fighting. I'm talking about wrestling. That's where
real money is.
Wrestling? What are you going to call yourself?
Gorgeous junk?
I'm not going to let you do it, man. You'll get hurt.
I'm not going to let you do it. That's all there is to it. I sure appreciate
that, son. All right. You don't know how much this means to me for you to go in
that ring and represent us.
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