Original subtitles

I'm in.

Stay in.

Ah, candles and wine glasses. Isn't that nice?

Yeah. Hello, Lamont.

Uh, Freddie didn't hear you.

Oh.

Hello, Lamont.

I think he's out of earshot. Oh, where is he? Outside.

In the front?

No. In the back? No. Where?

Tijuana.

Tijuana? Yeah, that's in Mexico.

What's he doing in Mexico?

Uh.

short vacation.

Oh, when did they decide to do that?

Oh, uh, quite suddenly.

When? Last month.

So you called me up last night and invited me to have dinner with you and

knowing Lamont wouldn't be here.

Right or wrong?

Well, as it could be right, it could be wrong.

For me to know and for you to find out.

I'm right.

You found out.

Let's have a little kiss first.

Oh, but wouldn't you prefer the taste of... Wouldn't you prefer the taste of

wine on my lip?

Well, I like to try it both ways.

See, I'm a comparison kisser.

Press. Press the door.

Press. Press.

The door.

I'd rather kiss you. No, no.

Someone's knocking on it. It's all right. They're knocking from the other

Shut up, dude.

with you tomorrow now and i want to discuss it alone well uh listen

darling you and i go in the kitchen and let her discuss it alone if you

both excuse me for a moment now there goes the lady

friend yes sir

Well, that's good. I agree, and you can leave.

She's supposed to get her own apartment, but it's not ready yet. And she needs a

place to stay for a few nights.

So you're asking me, can she stay here?

Of course not.

I'm telling you.

And she's staying here.

She won't like it here, sleeping on the couch.

She don't have to sleep on the couch. Lamont's the way she can use his room.

Yeah, but he's coming back.

See, that's why I got the table all set there, because he cut his vacation

short, and he's on his way back here now.

I just hark.

I can hear the truck now.

That's him.

Fred.

Esther Lamont's not on his way back now.

Why do you have to say that? Now, Fred, you can't turn the poor child out on the

cold. She needs a place to stay.

Well, she's related to her, ain't she?

Well, that automatically gives her one night free lodging with the dog catcher.

what you're talking about.

I'm talking about amour, amour.

But we only have a half an hour.

Well, give me one amour and owe me one.

Fred, Fred, we'll have a quick dinner and then I'll help you straighten up the

things here, okay?

I should never open that door. Oh, but you had to.

No, I didn't. It should be a law against Esther being on the street. Fred,

don't.

Don't be silly.

It is a law against her walking on the sidewalk.

Have you seen them signs that curb your dog?

Tijuana, Mexico.

Yes, it's an exclusive hotel at the Pancho Villa.

Yeah, very exclusive. It's right upstairs over Esso Station.

That's right, in the alley behind the bullring.

Uh -huh. Lamont Sanford. Senor Lamont Sanford.

That's right. Thank you.

Sure hope Lamont's there.

So he can come on home and this girl won't have no way to stay.

Hello, Lamont.

Is that you, sir?

Listen, son.

You having a lot of fun?

You are, huh? Well, come on home.

Yeah, I think it's the big one.

Yeah, son.

Yeah, I can feel it. My heart ain't beating like it should.

Instead of going bump, bump, bump, it's going bumpity, sumpity, wumpity.

Yeah. Son, hurry up here.

Right.

Bye. Hold your horses.

I said hold your horses.

What is... Meet your niece, Elizabeth.

You know, she died the year before I was born.

It's a fitting image of Elizabeth.

That's what my daddy says.

Thanks so much for letting me stay here with you.

You even smell like Elizabeth.

Good last night. Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, you really fixed up this place beautifully.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry about the way it looked last night. I usually keep the

place pretty tidy, but I just separated things because I was airing everything

out. Uh -huh. Well, you know, Aunt Esther told me this place usually looks

a junkyard, outside and inside.

Yeah, that's Aunt Esther's sense of humor.

Haven't you noticed that most people with a sense of humor look like they've

been punched in the face by Mean Joe Green?

Oh, that's bean sauce for the spaghetti.

Uncle Fred, we having spaghetti for breakfast?

No, honey, for dinner. Bean sauce, spaghetti, collard greens, and spam

almondine.

Oh, well, Uncle Fred, I can't eat here tonight.

See, I'm meeting my roommates for dinner.

Well, why can't you meet them after dinner?

Oh, um...

Because we have so many things to arrange and talk about and everything.

then, why don't you do this? Why don't you invite them over here?

Since I'm like your father here in Los Angeles, it'd be a pleasure for me to

meet your friends.

It'll be too much trouble, really.

No, no. I'll just make more salt.

That's too much work.

No, I can handle it. I'll just add two more cups of water.

You may not be comfortable with my roommates.

Uh -oh.

That's trouble.

Who is it? It's trouble from Tijuana.

Pop!

Hello. Hello, son.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here? You don't want to call me, remember?

But I'm okay now. You can go back to Tijuana.

Go back to Tijuana? I drove here as fast as I could because she said you were

sick.

And by the way, who is this young lady?

I'm your cousin Elizabeth.

Oh. Well, hi. You're here to go to USC, aren't you? Right.

And Lamont, thanks a lot for letting me use your room. That's okay. But I'll

take the couch. No, it's all right. You stay in the room and I'll sleep on the

couch. No problem. Well, listen, sir, why don't you go in and wash up and I'll

put another cup of water on the stuff?

Oh, we having spaghetti?

Yeah, see, Elizabeth's friends are coming over for dinner and I want

right. Uncle Fred, about dinner, I'm not sure.

Hey, Lamont, tell her what a good cook I am.

When it comes to his sauce, the more water, the better.

Yeah, so that settles it. Your friend's here for dinner at six.

I go in here and put my water on.

This is going to be a very interesting dinner.

Yeah, well, it always is when my pop is cooking.

Hey, you know, you look a little like my mom.

You know, that's what he said.

You're very lucky to have him as a father.

Think so?

Oh, sure.

As a matter of fact, he's been a little more to you than a father, hasn't he?

More like a father and a mother.

And a few other things.

gonna get crazy when you tell him i'm one of your roomies oh i'm pretty sure

he's not at all like on esther he's very modern and witty and up to date yeah i

can tell that by the way he furnished this place good evening welcome

and my house is yours what do we do wrong darn

late hey that's okay we just got here ourselves uncle fred the mom I

want you to meet Lewis and Dolores.

Hi, Lewis. Dolores?

Yeah.

Available, Dolores.

Uh,

uh, hello there, Dolores.

Uh, your place is fascinating.

Well, thank you very much. I did it my way.

No decorator, huh?

No, I admit, though, I took a few ideas from Home and Garbage. I mean, House and

Garbage.

Say, and, uh, listen, you're Lewis.

Yes, I know.

Well, Lewis, uh, welcome to Elizabeth's Home Away From Home.

Uh, you and Lewis married?

Uh, no, uh -uh.

Just a boyfriend, huh? No, Mr. Sanford. Hey, pop freeze on the third degree,

man. No, this is just social conversation.

See, it's like, uh, breaking ice.

Chittin' and chattin'. Is Elizabeth your girlfriend?

No, sir.

I know it's just a boyfriend, is that it? Well, that's right. Yeah, it's all

right to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Even, you know, that's today.

That's today, and I try to stay with today's views.

You know what I mean? Now, where's your other roommate?

Lewis is our other roommate.

Yeah, that's right, Pop.

That's today.

Yeah, it might be today, but damn if it's gonna be tomorrow.

I thought you just said you had today's views.

Today's views is yesterday's news.

Oh, no, no, no, no, Mr. Sanders. There's nothing between Elizabeth and me.

That's what I'm worried about.

Ain't nothing between you. I wouldn't mind if something was between you, like

wall or a space.

Why did you?

Maybe my father would feel better if he understood the relationship between the

three of y 'all. I know I would.

Uncle Fred, Uncle Fred, look.

Dolores and Louis and I are equal friends.

Now, what does that mean? That means I wouldn't do nothing with Louis that I

couldn't do with Dolores.

I mean, we'll be taking our meals together and we'll be studying together.

That's right, and Louis is very handy. He can fix things around the apartment

and stuff. But when it comes to anything else, he's got his dates and I got

mine. Yeah, and I got mine.

And anytime you want to be one of them, give me a call.

Yeah, right.

Who is it?

We moved.

Open up. Open up. We're living in Detroit now.

Catch the bus and join us.

Say, look, if I were you, I wouldn't tell Aunt Esther that the three of y

were living together, okay?

Wait, I'll get it.

Aunt Esther, hi, honey.

Hello, Lamont. How was Mexico?

It was fine, Aunt Esther, but I had to cut my business short.

Yeah, Esther, why don't you do the same thing?

Aunt Esther, this is Dolores Markham. Hi, how do you do?

It's a pleasure to meet a friend of my niece.

And who is this?

This is Louis Botkin.

Yeah, he's a friend of theirs from school.

I thought you said you had two roommates, Elizabeth.

Oh, wait a minute. No, she didn't say she had two roommates. She said she had

two roommates.

What you talking about?

Well, you know, high stuff is now a single girl can't afford to live alone.

got the roommate.

So Dolores here is the girl that Elizabeth picked a roommate with.

nice room, Elizabeth.

Oh, it's very nice, Arnester. As a matter of fact, it'll be ready tomorrow.

I'm coming over and help you decorate tomorrow.

You are?

Yes. What's your address?

Arnester, how about something to eat?

Yeah, Esther, why don't you go out there in the yard and breathe?

Hey, Papa, just got the stuff loaded on the car.

Hey, man, what's the matter with you?

Yeah, Elizabeth, uh, Jane ain't gone but one day, and the place seems empty

without her already.

Yeah, but she's only living ten minutes away. You can visit her whenever you

want to.

I know that, but it just don't seem the same without her. You know, it was like

having a daughter.

She reminded you of Mom, didn't she? You know, Papa, in your own way, you're

kind of sweet and sentimental.

You know, she's dead.

She said I was cute and cuddly.

That's nice.

Why didn't you never say I was cute and cuddly?

Come on, Pop. Cheer up, man.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Uh, hi, Ernesto. Sure.

Oh, no, I can't today. I'm using the truck.

Hey, Pop.

Ernesto wants to go over and visit Elizabeth.

Give me the phone.

Uh, hold on, Ernesto.

Listen, Esther, it's wrong to just drop in on people.

You know, the girl ain't got no phone yet. You just can't make them old

calls.

Yeah, just don't bother about it.

Why don't you wait until a decent time to visit the girl?

Like 3 .30 in the afternoon in the year 2001.

No, don't get angry, Esther. Listen, here's what I want to tell you, Esther.

Listen, can you keep a secret?

You can?

Well, put the phone to your ear.

You got it there?

I got to get on over there because all I have to find out is that Elizabeth is

living with a man.

If she finds out Elizabeth is living with a man, it'll kill her.

I couldn't do that. Be like, I'd be an accessory.

See you, son.

Oh, look.

Oh, this is nice.

Oh, it's a picture of my little brother.

You know, my dad framed this himself.

Hey, listen, you guys. I'm going to take a shower.

I'll be right out.

When's the landlord going to fix this door?

Not till this afternoon.

Shower curtain is up, though.

Oh, good.

You know, we were really lucky to get her as a roommate so fast.

After Lewis' mother said that he couldn't stay here with us, I thought we

going to lose this apartment.

Come in.

Is she here yet?

Hi, Uncle Fred. Who?

Your Aunt Esther, the hunch -faced of Notre Dame.

No, what's the matter?

Well, she said she was coming over.

So what? I mean, why are you so excited?

Where's your other roommate?

In the shower.

Huh?

You mean he's in there taking a shower with the dogs?

Uh, Uncle Fred, maybe I should try you. Wait a minute. Hello?

Uh, Esther.

What are you doing here? Uh, I came over here because my shower is broke and I

came over here to take a shower.

home and I saw your clothes hanging up on the line, man. How did they get wet?

Well, son, if I told you how they got wet, you wouldn't believe me. Why

I believe you?

Well, you wouldn't because if I told you how I got wet trying to keep somebody

from being embarrassed, you'd say I was lying.

No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. If I told you that I got wet trying to do

for somebody else, you'd laugh at me. No, I wouldn't. Now tell me what

Well, here's what happened.

the Los Angeles River over here, you know.

And just about halfway across, I looked over into the water, and that was Aunt

Esther struggling in the water.

And she was going under for the fifth or sixth time.

So that's what I made my mind of. I jumped into the water and tried to throw

many fish up on the land as I could.

How did your clothes get wet?