Original subtitles

Well, I guess we're going to be taking these all the way into the county

roundup. Have you ever been?

No, very excited. I've heard it's a really fun time.

Nicodemus this year. Really? Yes. I have not been to Nicodemus.

Town all populated with freed slaves.

Must be a happy town.

Well, yeah. I mean, happier than they were before.

Get him moving!

Get him moving. He wants us to get him moving. Go! Go to the town so you can be

slaughtered. Well, that's not going to motivate him. He just wants to unload

this farm. He's selling this ranch. He wants to move back in town and kind of

get things going with Pearl again. They're on the mend.

I don't think she made the strongest choice.

I mean, you can see clearly why she picked him.

He is handsome.

I mean, look at those thighs. Imagine having those strapped around you. Matt,

those buttocks.

Having one of those in each of your hands. And endowed.

Is that right? Oh.

He could lasso both of us.

Might be something to think about. I mean, not to do, but just to... Get him

moving! He's waving at us again.

Wave your hat around!

He wants us to wave our hat around. Okay, ready? Go.

Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo!

Help me out!

We just wooed him twice! Did you even see that?

Throw your arm into it! I wouldn't do that. Why not? I don't think it just

doesn't seem like the... Oh, God!

Oh, boy!

Here we go!

Look

how

busy he is. He is. He's really, uh...

Really eager.

Yeah. There's some up there, Eli.

I'm getting them.

Eli, are we going to get a break soon?

My saddle is really beginning to chafe me. Yeah.

Eli, you're losing one over here and over here. They're bifurcating. I don't

know what that means.

You just go to the left and look by.

Two.

I think we've lost a few, if you ask me. Yeah, we should do a count.

Why did I even ask you two to come out here? You're useless.

I am doing stuff.

I'm hungry. Is there any chance we could stop just for a little nosh? You

already killed one.

I brought some crackers and cheese.

They're in my saddlebag. I'd be glad to serve that for you.

I cannot wait to show you my butt tonight. You're going to be shocked. I

take a look at that.

Right now.

You

know,

we never should have allowed that Butler County roundup. And I just didn't know

it would be day after day of watching these animals just be demeaned. And

slaughtered. And ridden like cheap whores. I know.

I'm just glad it's almost over, you know. It's just like the rodeo is

and then it's done. It was done. Nito, go.

Oh, oh.

Ladies good morning good to be back in Nicodemus

Vernon Shank is my name. I'm a single man.

Hello, gentlemen.

Welcome back to Nicodemus. Hubbard Bailey.

Come on, I want to introduce you to somebody.

I'm hurting cows.

There's just so many white people here. It's like a snowstorm.

It reminds me of the Civil War. It's the last time I saw that many white people.

But we won.

Hello. That was good. That was good.

Sure is good to see you, Sheriff Hoyle. Same here, Mr.

Bailey. How are you? I'm doing well. Where's Sheriff Love?

Oh, Sheriff Love over in Franklin County.

Yeah, he's got his hands clean his little girl's legs right now. Oh, good

him. Oh, she's giving birth.

Yeah, that's right. She is giving birth. I think it's supposed to be

quadruplets. I hope she doesn't die, but chances are good that she will. That's

correct, yeah. And all the babies won't make it either. That's correct.

But maybe one.

But a happy birth to the one that makes it. That's right.

Well, so you're acting sheriff. I'm now the mayor of Nicodemus. What?

The Hubbard Bay of the Curse done turned around.

I congratulate you. Congratulations.

Well, you must be very proud Nicodemus hosting the roundup and all. That's

right. It's the first time we had it in town. I brought it here. We're going to

culminate in the biggest party in three counties, a rodeo. Pardon the intrusion,

gentlemen. Mr.

Cobb. Mr. Mayor.

Gentlemen. I'm just wondering, why do we have so many cattle and white people in

the middle of the town square?

We actually came together.

This is Sheriff Hoyle, Mr. Cobb. Great man.

Mr. Cobb's one of our most successful businessmen in Butler County.

That's right. I own just about every store and saloon you see here in town.

him a big old ranch just outside of Nicodemus. Well, congratulations.

I don't need congratulating. I already did it. I'm a success.

The only thing I don't own is all these cattle, and I want them out of here.

We're just here to sell them at the roundup. We'll take our money, and we'll

head back to Great Bend.

Biggest part of the roundup was this morning. You fellas didn't miss that.

ain't many more buyers around.

Our timing is awful.

It's consistently awful.

You know what?

As a favor to you fine gentlemen, how about I take these catalogs?

Oh, fabulous.

All right. Thank you so much.

I'll tell you what. I'll give you a fair price. I'll give you a quarter per cow,

13 cents for two. All right.

It means fair. No, it does not seem fair.

All right, well, fair enough. All right, how about this? I give you two bits per

head and a dollar for four. What's a bit? All right. It's a quarter, so

be four. Twelve and a half pins. Check me.

No,

Eli, absolutely not. Mr. Cobbs, I might as well tell you that I attended Harvard

University. Never heard of it.

You're kidding. No.

It's the most prestigious.

school in the country the point is i'm highly educated okay you can't pull

whatever you're pulling here i'm not going to let you take advantage of my

friend we'll go to the rodeo rodeo we can sell them at the rodeo that's right

maybe we'll get an offer over there all right well rodeo well all right i do i

got a i got a better deal for them if one of you enters the bronco riding

competition and wins i'll pay four dollar a head for them cattle No, we

that. There's no way we're going to win. Do you mind if we discuss it for a

moment? But there's no way we win, Horl. These cattle look like Digglepoke with

horns. $4 is a very, very good price.

He's absolutely right, Eli, and you are fantastic on a horse. If you were to win

this thing, you would make enough money to pay off your debt, and you'd get back

with Pearl. Your inner thigh strength is better than any man's, and I've seen a

lot of men come through. And how can you not win with the two of us as your

rodeo class?

to distract the horse in case you're in trouble and entertain the crowd at the

same time. That's great. My mother worked for 10 years in a carnival until

the hair fell out. Perfect. We accept your offer. We know we heard. Oh, yeah,

should have walked further away. All right. Oh, and if he loses, I get all

cattle for free. All right. No,

no, no. Eli, don't worry about it. He ain't losing.

I don't like this idea at all.

I don't even know why we would come to such a dirty stand.

Treating animals like they're beasts. Like slaves.

Like slaves.

Oh, no, you are not offering me meat. Oh, no.

If I'm going to eat something with a face, it's going to buy me a drink

Yes. You know what I'm saying? Yes, it will. I'm not going to take advantage of

no defensive. You, cadet.

Well, is that you? Yes, it's me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Nick Ademus, the next contestant for the rodeo.

Look, I didn't know that Eli was taking part today.

How's my hair look? You look gorgeous. You look too good for him.

Now, first you get up there.

Here's the thing. These two horses are holding the bucking bronco in place.

You're going to get on them. These guys are going to go away. And then you just

ride it as long as you can. The guy who rides it the longest wins. All right?

Well, I don't like this idea at all.

Sorry, I'm like there's a taffy pool in the clown tent.

Really? Yeah, I love this place. There's so much to do.

That's you, Shank.

It's Shank.

Are those fools wild?

Where did he get those pants?

Too many patterns. My eyes are just all a blur. It's okay to be terrified. I am

terrified. And we just want you to know, once you get on that fucking Bronco,

and it's trying to flap you off of him and stomp you to death, this.

will be protecting you. Right here. This is your line of defense.

I mean, this is just, this is a fool's sport.

Riding animals.

Yes. You know what we should do to teach them a lesson? What? We should ride

them. Or at least Eli.

Absolutely. And I mean ride him hard. Hard, hard. Like a trail of tears right

his beautiful backside.

Mm -hmm.

Why don't I just let go and get off and let someone else win it? Because A,

you're going to be able to sell your cattle at real price and you're going to

able to pay off the debt on the farm and B, curl.

You're going to love this. And your marital problems will disappear.

And God forbid something does happen, I will take care of her and give you the

send -off of a king. Believe me. On the house.

Come on. Let's do this. Referral.

One, two, three. El Diablo.

Here he goes. El Diablo.

Okay.

All right, now remember, we're not just handsome, entertaining, commedia dell

'arte trained clowns. We're also rescue workers.

It's a shame to waste a perfectly good white man like that.

Whenever you're ready. One, two, three.

You won this thing, and you're going to make a lot of money. How hard can that

be? Maybe probably not that hard. I already did it.

Mayor Bailey, what are you doing here?

Well, I was heading over to the homeopath for readjustment, but Mr.

asked me to help out the rodeo. Oh, aren't you nice.

What do you mean help out?

I figured I'd come ride.

Who knew the mayor is also a champion Bronco rider in, what is it,

four counties? Well, three officially right now, but we're waiting on word for

the fourth.

I mean, why would I do something like that unless I was some kind of brilliant

businessman? Oh, wait.

I am.

He's brilliant.

I don't know if you can tell with my hat. My feelings are hurt.

Your boy could still win. I mean, if I was Paul.

Well, Mayor, best of luck to you. You still got to beat his time, though.

Suckers. Suckers.

What is that?

It's an L. It's an L for L loser.

He is very cocksure.

Come on. Come on.

Afternoon, afternoon.

Afternoon, Mr. Carr.

I'm surprised somebody as wealthy as you would attend such a regular people

event. Oh, I enjoy the rodeo. I do.

I have scallywagged these crackers right out of a whole herd of cattle.

Let me tell you something about the history of Nicodemus. Whenever white

come to town, there is trouble.

It just depends on how you look at it.

Look, there's Hubbard getting on.

No,

you can't beat that.

He's been doing this his whole life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt your discussions over the

For those of you who don't know me, yes, I'm a rodeo clown.

My name is Flip Flop, but I am also Sheriff John Henry Hoyle of Great Bend.

The badge.

Does everybody see the badge? Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we

cinch strap or latigo from the Italian...

to hold onto a horse. I was looking at the latigo, and I noticed someone has

what I determine a notch in the latigo.

So as Mayor Hubbard Bailey was riding his, I'm riding the Bronco, so I'm

Bailey right now, the notch got wider and wider. It ripped. The latigo went

sideways. The saddle fell.

He fell on the ground.

The horse trampled him. It was murder.

It was murder.

Mr.

Cobbs, I admire what you're doing. Thank you. But in this case, I believe he did

not.

Ladies and gentlemen, I interrupted myself because I feel that I have just

discovered another piece of evidence.

What many of you don't know is that before I attended Harvard University, I

worked at my father's perfumery as a nose.

Right now, you all just smell manure and a dead body. I smell thousands. There's

clover over that hill. I can smell all kinds of things. And what I can smell on

this is some type of perfume or cologne.

You see, whoever cut this sweated.

And the perfume got in to the lot to go.

And I believe that person is here among us.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like your permission to smell you.

Bow me.

I don't smell the cologne, but you are a very well -bathed man.

Oh, God, Eli. I'm riding all day, oil.

You're using that rock as a deodorant. That doesn't work.

I'm here all up in my memories.

Do you need to be all up here on me? I'm sorry about smelling your breath. I'm

not enjoying this any more than you are.

You're not. You didn't do it, but you smell fantastic.

Did you enjoy your muskrat for lunch yesterday?

I have determined that there are two people here who are wearing the cologne

slash perfume, and one of them is the murderer.

My nose does not lie!

It's you two!

Oh, this is ridiculous!

Good day.

Good day.

Do you know how much trouble you're in? No, how much trouble am I in? A lot.

Is it this much? It's infinity much. It's infinity plus one even?

There's no number infinity plus one. How do you know? Because I took calculus. I

know what summation formulas.

Let me guess, because you went to Harvard.

Yes, I went to Harvard. And you are now being brought into a new Harvard

-trained technique called interrogation.

Is it supposed to be annoying?

Yes, it is.

Well, then that part's working.

And it's just beginning.

Excuse me for a moment.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon, Sheriff.

Margaret, right?

Yes. I guess you know what I found in your purse.

Oh, that seems to be a nail file.

Somebody's going to jail soon, and he doesn't have a penis.

Leather dust caught in the file teeth.

think you are having me up in here, okay? I have not had my lunch, and I

ladies auxiliary meeting in 20 minutes, okay?

You know what they're gonna do to a lady like you in prison wearing that hat?

You don't like my hat? No, I do. No, no, no, let me just say you had a problem

with my cat oil, but you know what? I can talk about your hat.

Oh, she's filling out a form right now, and guess whose name at the very top?

Yours. Dash murderer.

She spilled the beans and pointed a finger right at you.

Three fingers are pointing all the way around the world and are also pointing

you. Do you want some coffee?

Yes! You won't get it!

Well, things have really turned in the other room. He totally flipped on you.

Margaret! Yes, Betty! He's saying that you said that I killed Mary. Stop it!

Stop it! Do not talk to each other!

That's my first interrogation.

Interrogate him!

Listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm interrogating. This is about Mayor

I don't know why we're so worried about one man who brought all this evil, all

this animal killing into our town, hurting all these animals and demeaning

Yes, the rodeo, that's nothing but a spectacle.

Using animals.

So you two did not approve of Mayor Bailey's decision to bring the roundup

Nicodemus? Absolutely not.

Aha.

You are animal lovers.

You hated the fact that Mayor Hubbard Bailey wanted to bring the Roundup to

Nicodemus, where cattlemen from all over Butler County could sell their cattle,

where human beings would digest the meat and flesh of these dead animals. They

would poop out the remains, work it into the soil, grow plants to feed the

cattle to slaughter them again.

I'm going to teach him a lesson, you know, that he shouldn't have roundups

anymore. Do you know how many murderers say that?

I just want to teach him a lesson. I just want to teach him a lesson. Well,

taught him a lesson. You taught him the lesson of dead.

Here's what we do to herbivores in America.

We put them in jail, which is exactly where the two of you are going to go.

Good day.

OK, you sit in the room with me.

The door's here.

Get ready to go to prison where you can eat all of the green beans you want.

There's your blood money, you old mayor murderer.

Mm -hmm.

He didn't kill anybody.

Yeah, he did. When you think about it, it really is his fault. How can that

possibly be the case when you two were the ones that cut his saddle?

Did we viciously kill an innocent man?

Yes. Does that mean we're bad people?

No. You know, it doesn't matter. I'm done.

I'm leaving. Guess what? I'm you guys when I leave.

That's a pretty good you guys.

Hey, just so you know, there may be a sizable cleaning charge for my clown

pants. Can everybody stop complaining about their own problems? We are the

going to jail. Yes.

Look, you're going to get a fair trial in Great Bend.

Oh, come on. They might as well call it Great White.

I'm sorry Sheriff Love isn't here, so you're in my jurisdiction. I'm going to

have to take care of it. Now, come on. Let's get going. Who do you think is a

better clown name, Topo or Jub -Jub?

Jub -Jub.

Not even a contest.

That's going to be a long walk to Great Bend. I hope everybody's dressed.

I don't even know why we are going.

Well, you did murder someone.

That's not the point, Eli.

And you keep bringing that up.