Original subtitles

Do you like what you see?

Do you want to touch me? Do you want to explore every part of me?

Make me crazy with desire?

And that's it.

You're in control.

I'm yours.

Now, take me.

Communication is the most important ingredient in a relationship.

If we can't be honest with each other, we'll never have true intimacy.

You've got the Candy Love Show on KBSS at the beach. It's another scorcher.

Today's mercury already at 104 degrees.

Stay tuned for more scintillating... Careful, TC. You'll blow a tire.

I was just... Drooling, just like I've been doing for the past three weeks

been here.

Candy, I don't think I can talk about that to my boyfriend.

Getting past your inhibitions and sharing your feelings is what it's all

I'm Dr. Candy Love, and I want to talk to you next, so give me a call at 555

-KBSS. We'll be right back.

Looks like the heat wave's not the only thing getting people all hot and

bothered around here.

Chris, she's a radio sex therapist.

Translation, she helps people with their feelings about the opposite sex.

TC, she's a radio sex therapist.

Translation, she talks dirty to people over the air.

Thanks, Janet. Okay.

Hey, TC.

Hey. How's my favorite police liaison?

Sweltering. But it's a perfect day to learn how to boogie board.

I'd love to, but I have a segment to tape after the show on how men really

about relationships with strong women.

Why don't you call in? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

So would I.

Nice to see you too, Chris.

Look, Romeo, I know you're on crowd control duty while Candy creates

the air, but... Yeah, I know, I know. And the mercury is soaring past 100

today, and Flaremon wants us to keep an eye out for dehydration, heat

exhaustion, or general craziness.

Come to think of it, you could use a cold shower yourself.

I am Dr.

Candy Love, and this is KBS FM.

Up next, frequent caller, Jordan.

From Santa Monica, you're on the air.

Candy, I had the phone to tell your last caller to take your advice like I did.

She won't regret it.

Ooh, a testimonial from a true believer.

Jordan, you're getting me excited.

At first, I was freaked to face the problem I'd been having in my

with my lady.

But I did exactly what you said.

I took charge, worked forceful, and got rid of the obstacle that was in our way.

I feel great.

Now there's nothing to stop me from having the woman I love.

Come try to talk it down, why everyone bags on

my town.

Nothing at me, it works for me.

Take a look around, just another day in L .A.

Anybody sees more than me.

Anybody thinks he is free.

Stop dead.

What is it now?

Just another day.

So, what can I do for you, lady?

Enjoy, Bob.

We're your happy birthday surprise.

Surprise!

All

right,

who did this?

I'll be right back.

Look,

Mr. Markham, I can't wait another week to have my A .C. fixed.

Well, I sound cranky because I slept in a tub of ice and now my neck is not my

feet are all cruddy. I want my A .C. fixed. I want it fixed now.

Hello?

Hello?

He is dog meat.

Sounds like the heat's getting to you. I know the heat's getting to me. I don't

need you to tell me that the heat's getting to me. I need my A .C. fixed so

heat doesn't get to me. Get it?

If you're that hot, you could always stay at my place.

In your fantasies, Calloway. I'll take your unit. See the man.

631 Ocean View.

Possible homicide.

X -ray 5 responding.

Male Caucasian, mid -30s, named Morty Eberhardt, VP at a New York -based

communications company that keeps itself for business trips.

The trip's over now.

Pool guy called it in. We were first on scene and called homicide.

Good work, guys. We'll see about that.

Bart Browning, haven't they pensioned you out yet?

Well, if they did that, it would only leave you meter maids to secure crime

scenes. Meter maids. My nightmare comes true.

I heard you gave up being a detective to...

Start some community relations gimmick?

Cops popping wheelies? What a joke. It's a joke. You know what the punchline is,

Bart? Our crime rate's down 27%. I guess all the bad guys have stolen all the

sunblock they'll need.

I didn't see you had a loss of sense of humor, Bart.

Well, call homicide.

Hi, dude.

I'm Officer Calloway. My friends call me T .C.

The guy was murdered.

T .C.? I thought my Stanford tricycle.

Excuse me?

Look and learn.

The guy tied one on.

Stumbled heading into the house.

falling into the pool.

It's an accident. I've seen it happen a thousand times.

Oh, Jason, I'm sorry to get you down here, detective.

Your whole theory makes sense.

Oh, except for this.

I guess after he hit himself in the head with this pipe and died, he threw it in

the bushes and jumped in the pool.

I'd say the brunette was 34, 35, no, 36, double D.

Blue eyes, about 5 '7", 110 pounds.

The blonde had light green eyes, was 5 '8", and about 112 pounds.

And she was about a 34 C cup.

A 34 C and a 36?

Double D.

Is that all you can tell us?

Sorry. This is pathetic.

Every man in here can tell us anything we want to know about these women, right

down to how many freckles they had on their fanny.

But not a single one of you can tell us what the guy with the gun looked like.

Anyone?

Blonde was natural, if that helps.

What could it be?

Beats the hell out of me.

Seen a lot of weird things in this beach. I've never seen anything like

before.

If my hair has been beaten out of me as well. No tracks leading to or from the

holes. No one saw or heard anything.

The helicopter?

Finally a place that's tolerable.

Don't be so sure about that.

What's he doing here?

Downtown called and requested I provide space and assistance during his

investigation. Yeah, well, allow me to show him how welcome he is. Hey, we're

all on the same team here, and I expect you guys to treat him with all the

respect he doesn't deserve.

Look,

the phone records were supposed to have been faxed to me a half hour ago.

Just make sure they get here.

You mind?

Candy loving the victim. Is she involved in this thing? Nope.

Dead guy was a business acquaintance. Strictly coincidence.

Maybe it was a robbery.

It wasn't robbery. Nothing was missing.

I think it's murder straight down the line. Oh, great.

Now I got Columbo with handlebars tossing theories.

Don't you have some peddling to do? Hey, while you're on my turf, I'll treat my

officers with respect. He's only trying to help. You want to help? Go take your

spokes. I got work to do.

Guys in Neanderthal. Talk it up to the ATC. Let it fly.

His phone record was just back to Browning. You see, that's evidence.

I'm a cop.

Whoa, wait a minute.

The last call the victim made was to 5555277.

So?

5277, KBSF.

And our next caller is Julie from Venice.

Julie, even within our relationships, there's no right or wrong about what

us on.

And as far as your fantasy man is concerned, just let your imagination run

You never know what you'll discover about your true desires unless you

them. Just be safe, smart, and healthy.

We'll be back right after this.

Like I told Detective Browning, I met Morty a couple nights ago over drinks.

His company was interested in syndicating my show from New York.

Did Morty say anything when he called yesterday?

Give you any idea who might have done this?

He didn't call me yesterday.

According to our phone records, the last call he made was on the 5277 line at

433 yesterday.

That's our call line.

But I swear he didn't call.

Somebody did.

You got to keep a phone log?

Check the log and see who called yesterday at 433.

We got one from the Jordan guy.

He's a regular. He calls all the time.

15 seconds to air.

Do you keep tapes of all your shows?

Of course. All our calls are logged and stored on the computer.

We're going to need copies of all the calls this guy Jordan has ever made to

you. I'll make them for you.

And if you need me for anything, I'm meeting my brother at the waterfront at

six.

This is Dr.

Candy Love, and you've turned me on on KBSS.

Now, let's talk about sex.

Caller, you're on the air.

But there's other guys.

Jordan, women love when their man takes charge.

You need to show her that you're the only man for her, and you're not going

let any other guy stand in your way.

You sure a display like that will show her how much I want her?

Oh, yes.

So go for it, Jordan. And when you want to turn me on, I'm always ready for you

on KBSF FM.

He's made a dozen calls to her. He is obsessed with this woman. Sounds to me

like the woman that Jordan's obsessed with is Candy.

Makes sense. The one with the sultry, seductive, flirtatious voice talking on

the lonely guys, making them feel like the only man in the world.

Only this time, she turned on the wrong guy.

Exactly. You think Candy's in danger?

I don't know.

But if he's eliminating all the obstacles that stand in his way, then

her life could be in danger. But Morty Eberhardt wasn't the man in her life. He

was just a business acquaintance.

Maybe he saw them having dinner together. And if he's that obsessed,

could see it as a threat.

Candy's having drinks with her brother.

Let's roll.

Call Browning. We'll radio back.

Got it, Chris?

Let's go.

You've got lucky. Lucky? You think I got lucky, do you?

He saved their lives.

And you could have gotten them killed.

You're supposed to pass information up the food chain.

We tried to reach you downtown. There wasn't time for procedure.

You never could find time to do things the departmental way.

I want all the tapes on my desk in ten minutes.

And stay away from this case.

And could someone turn on the A .C.?

Well, I'm out of time for today, but before I go, I want to send out a

thank you to a friend who helped me out big time yesterday.

I don't know how to express my gratitude, but I'm going to find a way.

It's open.

Come in.

Hey. Hey.

Does your offer for a temporary roommate still stand?

Sure it does, but I only have one bed.

That's okay.

I'm sure it'd be cooler on the floor.

What do you want, Elvis?

It is not what Elvis wants. It is what Elvis knows.

The holes in the beach, they are from the advance teams.

Advance teams? Yeah. Look. Here.

See? The patterns in the wheat fields. The holes in the beach.

They are one and the same. They are the landing zones or the welcome maps for

our visitors.

from above.

Elvis, there's no such things as UFOs. Lieutenant, I know it is customary in

your country to keep such matters hostile, but I have been speaking to

people who know the truth.

I don't mean to wet your weedies, but if E .T. and his friends fly in tonight

looking for holes in the ground, the only thing they're going to have a close

encounter with is a pool in Pacoima.

What? The county was afraid that someone would get hurt on the beach, so they

filled in the beach holes this afternoon. I'm sorry.

Showers are yours.

You can change in our bedroom.

Cute. Not funny, but cute.

So, what's for dinner?

Dinner?

What is for dinner?

Uh -oh.

What do you say we order out?

Sure. What do you want?

I'll just order something.

Good. Order something cold.

Cold. No kidding.

Hi.

Lieutenant Flermo gave me an address.

It's a bad time.

Uh... No, no. I was just... Drifting?

Basically.

I heard you on the radio.

Can I come in?

Yeah, please. Come on in.

How's your, uh... How's your brother doing?

He's fine.

Probably be a couple of years before he visits me again, but... I just wanted to

say thanks.

TC, you used up all the hot water.

Oh! Hi, Candy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to interrupt anything.

This? Well, this isn't anything. No, no, we're not. No!

I'm just camping out at TC's while my air conditioner's getting fixed, that's

all.

Are you sure there's nothing between you two?

I've seen the way you look at each other.

Huh?

No, no.

weird thinking that there's some guy out there hurting people because of

something I said.

It's not your fault.

If you hadn't flipped the switch, someone else would have.

Yeah, but I'm afraid to be with any guy because of something he might do.

I even snuck over to your place to make sure that I wasn't followed.

I can't live like that.

Would you be willing to help us get this guy off the street?

As long as no one gets hurt, I'm willing to do anything.

What do I have to do?

What you do best.

What's so important, Elvis?

Peggy.

Passage through to county maintenance.

Roger. No more holes to fill in. No, no, no, no. You mustn't, Lieutenant.

You mustn't. My calculations tell me that they are arriving tonight.

Who's coming tonight?

Them. There is no them, Elvis.

No one's coming tonight. This is a prank. We're going to fill them in. If

lunar people had filled up the tranquility zone, your Neil Armstrong

have been able to land his Alpo -11 on the moon. Apollo -11. Huh?

Apollo 11. That was us going up there. It's different.

But if we went up there, doesn't it make sense that they want to come down here?

Please, give me one more night with my whole... One night.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

You will go down in history as a man who has gone boldly when no other man has

gone.

Want to see us, Lieutenant?

A certain DJ is willing to cooperate to catch this nutball, but only if a

certain couple of bike cops get involved.

Detective Browning has formally requested that you two be assigned to

until this case is completed.

But we do it my way. We trace the call and we chase the rabbit.

You rock. Yeah, you rock. You rock. Yeah, you rock. You rock. Yeah, you

You rock. Yeah, you rock.

You don't get a bit of it.

Cash. I get good luck.

I start with a couple of kids.

The perks are timeless.

This is 2 Baker 7 and 8 responding.

Did you look at him?

No.

I saw the girls, and it wasn't a strawberry blonde in a brunette.

It was a redhead in a police job.

You got the birth license, didn't you?

No.

This is Candy Love on KBSS.

We'll be back after this message.

Jordan, how is it going?

It's the south end of the beach.

Takes a minute for the computer to locate the exact location.

TC, we have him. Head south.

Got it.

I want to talk to Candy. I'm in a hurry.

All right, hold on. You're up next.

This is it, Candy. Keep him talking.

And we're back.

This is KVSS FM, and I'm Dr. Candy Love.

Got him.

He's in a phone booth on the corner of Ocean Walk and Riptide.

I'm about a half a mile away, so just keep him on the line.

And don't send the black and white till spot him coming.

Our next caller is Jordan.

Candy, I did exactly what you told me to.

I took charge, but it didn't change anything.

It kills me to see her with other guys.

Listen to me, Jordan.

You can't punish her because other men find her attractive.

Then I'll punish them.

T .C., we lost him. I've got him.

T .C., what are you doing?

No.

There's a call forwarding cheese box rigging the line.

He set us up.

Elvis, what the hell are you doing?

I'm making contact.

This is where singing, the intergalactical music of love.

I learned that from Star Trek number four.

Elvis, it's hot. People are crazy. Go home.

Elvis, phone home.

Phone home, Elvis.

Really great plan, detective.

Don't get smart with me, kid. I'm not a kid.

I've been on this force for ten years. Ten years on a bike?

All right, both of you, back off.

You know, you get a lot more done if you just change your bedside manner.

Miss Jordan's no fool. It took a lot of expertise to build a cheese box like

this from scratch.

Now, maybe we can talk to the local electronics merchant, see who may have

bought the components to make this thing.

Okay, backtracking electronics is good, but she'll look just waiting for him to

make another move.

You still think we should bait him?

He's gone after every guy she's been seen with.

If he plays a new man in her life, we'll come after him.

Life imitates fantasy.

Good plan, but it puts the civilian in danger.

I know what's involved, and I'm willing to risk it.

All right, but I want every precaution in place to protect her.

You got it.

What do we have?

This topless bandit is real smart. He sends a different woman each time into a

predominantly male establishment under the guise of a surprise birthday

The guy actually goes through all the trouble of using a database to find out

who has a birthday coming up.

And men, being pigs, can't take their eyes off the girls.

So nobody ever notices.

Exactly. Luckily, there was a woman at the last place he tried to rip off.

Well, you can't just get any woman to take her clothes off in a crowd of

strangers. Don't I know that. They must be pro.

Check all the local trip clubs and see if you can find any women who match the

description. Okay. Great.

Six strip clubs, six strikeouts.

Hasn't been a total loss. At least we know the difference between totally nude

and just nude, nude, nude.

I can die happy now.

Hey, I'm willing to go to every strip club in Southern California to find

girls.

I hate to burst your bubble, but I think we've seen the last of our pasties.

Hi, remember me damn I guess that means yes

Look

we didn't know the guy was gonna rob the play

Well, that's the honest truth You see sometimes to pick up extra cash twilight

meal dance freelance for parties and stuff And how did you end up freelancing

the pool hall?

Well, the agency told us it was a birthday surprise.

And then while we're up there dancing, somebody yells out, he's robbing the

place. And we seen the gun and got out of there.

And you ran because you were a copacist.

Girls like me, we don't have the greatest reputation.

I just didn't think you'd believe the truth.

Well, we'd believe you a whole lot more if you gave us a description of the

robber. Well, I never saw him.

And he sent a cashier's check to the agency for the dance.

Oh, but he tipped real good.

Well, then we'll contact all the stripper services, and next time they

girls for a birthday surprise, we'll be there.

Good.

Here. Here.

Here, try this.

Hmm, that's wonderful.

I didn't know you could fuck.

I can, but I can order out.

Anything? Not yet.

I can't believe some of the things you talk about on your show.

You know, sometimes when you're watching me work, I wonder what you'd say if you

called in.

I'd never talk about that kind of stuff without the city listening in.

Just pretend.

You're online with Candy Love.

What do you want to tell me?

There's this woman I know.

I see her when I'm working.

She intrigues me, but I'm torn.

I know I shouldn't get involved with her because we sort of work together, but I

can't lie to myself about the feelings I have whenever I'm around her.

The desires, the temptations.

And I wonder what she feels.

She probably looks at you while you're working.

Wonders what you'd be like off the clock.

Would you like when no one else would be around?

She wonders what it would feel like to press her lips against your lips.

That's funny.

He wonders the same thing.

Stay sharp. He's out there.

I'll be close.

People have this illusion that being a sex talk guru, I must have the most

fabulous relationships.

But being a DJ is like being a gypsy.

You're never in one town for too long.

These guys still may offer me the show in New York.

It just seems like whenever I meet someone I really like, it's time to move

I had a really great time.

So did I.

It's a shame we're only pretending.

The President.

You guys still out there?

PC, you're supposed to have your wire working all the time.

It's working now.

Well, keep it on.

Any sign of our guy?

Not yet.

I'm headed toward the pier.

He's a half a block behind you headed towards the pier. He's got an orange

shirt, binoculars.

I locked him.

Where are you guys?

Making my way towards you now.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Browning. Detective Browning. Browning. He was headed towards the alley!

Babe!

Stay with Ronnie.

Five, requesting an ambulance in the alley rear of two, two, three, four,

boardwalk. Officer down. I repeat, officer down.

He passed.

He got the drop on me.

You should be in the hospital.

I'm not going to lay in bed all day long while the guy who put a bullet in me is

still out there.

What a madness.

Candy, he's on line three. What do you want me to do?

Hang up on him. No, no, no, no, no.

Listen, you're a psychologist, right? And the only one he'll listen to is just

Brian talking down.

Come on.

Just try.

Jordan, how are you?

Frustrated.

Relationships are about trust, and I can't trust the woman I love.

Yes, you can.

No, I can't.

She set me up.

She tried to get rid of me.

She's trying to help you.

You need to talk to someone about the anger inside.

If you love her, promise me you'll do this.

Jordan?

Talk to me.

Two and two exotic dancers just got an order for two strippers to a place of

business for a surprise birthday party, and you'll never guess where.

Where?

Sheila's. Let's go.

Hey, we got something here.

Components of this were ordered from a local electronics store by an E. Jordan

Kane, 236 Somerset Place, apartment 2E.

Check it out.

Okay, let's be careful. I just did a background check on this guy. He has a

checkered history with mental illness.

I'm going to call him back up now, okay?

And we have time for just one more call.

Hi, Jordan. You're on the air.

I've been thinking about what you said.

And have you decided to get help?

Yes. But I need to be alone with her.

I need to see her first.

I'm sure she'd meet with you if she felt sure that no one would get hurt.

No one would get hurt.

You have to promise her, Jordan.

I promise.

It has to be.

She knows where.

I'm sure she does.

I'll bet she's on her way right now.

That's all for now.

Candy love.

She's going to try and handle it herself.

She doesn't know what she's walking into.

Um, it's TC. Let me talk to Candy.

She just left. I don't know where.

She said she got this guy all worked up and that now maybe she can stop him.

Damn it.

She went to meet him. Where?

Place for the best mine ties in town?

Waterfront Cafe.

Come on, I'll drive.

No way, we can back alley at the beach in half the time. It'll take you to get

there.

Sorry I'm late.

Get hung up with a phone call.

Of course, you know more about that than me.

Startled me.

To the end of this heat wave.

Is it miserable or what?

You're not drinking.

Jordan, I'm not here to drink.

I'm here because you need some help.

People have been saying that for years.

Look, we had a deal.

If I had a drink with you, you'd get some help.

Well, you're not drinking, so I guess that breaks the deal.

I thought I could trust you.

You're the one who can't be trusted.

I did everything you ever asked of me.

I took charge.

I showed you who was the only man for you.

And you sent me in for the cops.

We're taking a walk.

Glad to see you can make it.

Get this guy downtown.

Good work.

Thanks.

When's your rebar?

Bad enough. I gotta go back to Metro and tell them that you saved my life, but

then you gotta go and catch this guy on a bike?

Doing my job.

You do it pretty good, even if you do it on two wheels.

You ever try it sometime?

No. I'm an old dog. I'll stick to these clunkers.

Keep up the good work.

Take care.

Well, you lost a roommate. I'm officially back in the modern age of

air. My bad. We'll miss you.

Hey, Chris.

Hey, guys. What's shaking?

I thought you should have asked that.

Yeah. I mean, if you're not busy this afternoon, we could really use your help

at 2 o 'clock.

What do I have to do?

Why can't you leave the

girl alone?

Why can't you hear what I'm trying to say? Why don't you leave?

Put your money in the bag.

Don't turn around.

Hey, buddy. You forgot something.

Yeah, what's that?

You're under arrest.

The heat wave is out of here, and unfortunately, so am I. I start a

syndicated show from New York next week, but I wanted to say goodbye to a

special friend.

We never got a chance to explore our real desires, but he'll always star in

fantasies. I'll see you down the dial.

Welcome. Welcome.

Silver!

It's a burdock!

A landscape company's been stealing sand for a golf course they're building. The

high tides washed away their tracks.

Pretty clever, huh?

You mean they're not from outer space?

Sort of.

They're from LA.

Sorry, Al.

Okay.

Just another day in L .A.

She's more than me.

Anybody thinks she is free.

Someday.

What is it now?

It's just another day.