Original subtitles

Rocket Rangers, we crashed and burned across the galaxy. Trapped in

space,

ready to return.

The Stargazer family.

The Stargazer family.

That's the captain who leads our crew.

My name's Johnny.

I sing to you.

You should have done what I told you.

I can't help it. I'm romantic.

And I love her.

Yeah, well, I'm in love with Pamela Anderson, but I limit our contact to

stops.

No, you don't.

Do you?

I let her off with a warning. Look.

I'm gonna repeat myself once more here.

Just slam McNamara.

But you said... Look, I'm talking cheap physical action here. It's not, uh,

sonnets and candy grams.

I mean, you gotta nail her. Faux pour.

Trapeze bars, Mexican basket trick. Whatever your little head desires.

And then while she's in the shower, you leave.

That is the most selfish thing I've ever heard.

Look, you gotta get her out of your system. Once she's a memory instead of a

fantasy...

You'll be your old self again.

I can back the trick.

I like Steven Tyler. He likes Liv Tyler.

He thought seeing was something you got from a bee. I thought smashing pumpkins

is what rowdy kids did on Halloween.

Don't hide behind the age factor, Corey. If you want him and he wants you, then

just go for it.

Thanks. Prudent advice from my mature marriage friend.

Hey, if I support the nature, you lose every time. But if the sex is

The sex is not.

Not terrific?

Well, it's not yet. I mean, we haven't, you know.

Damn, I lose the pool.

847.

You know what, man?

I forgot my wallet.

Well, then forget the food.

Wait, wait, wait a second.

Here's five bucks. I'll come back and pay you the rest later.

You know I'm good for it.

No, I don't.

Come on, man. I'm in here all the time.

Hey, don't you know who I am?

Yeah, you're that deadbeat reject from TV Land. I hear they're hiring security

guards down at the Mar Vista Mall.

Really? They let them carry a gun?

Put all that stuff in a bag.

And empty the register while you're at it.

Oh, lady, you've got to get out of here.

Hey, you're that guy.

That guy on TV.

Oh, my God, you're Johnny Othello!

Johnny Othello!

Any Pacific Blue units, silent alarm, sundown mark, 10 -10 -15 boardwalk.

Copy that. This is 1 -TV -9 -10 responding.

Roger, TV -9 -10.

This is 1 PB 7 and 8, 1049 for backup.

Roger. Lady, please!

I just want an autograph!

Where's your pipe?

I got the door!

Sure, but you know what it looked like? No, couldn't be. No way.

Johnny O!

Ah!

Somebody talk it down Why everyone bags

on my town The sand at sea It was for

me Take a look around

Another day in LA Anybody

needs

more than me Anybody needs to be free

Oh.

Anything? What we got is an absence of anything. Johnny Osiris has no agent or

manager, no vested pension.

He hasn't filed a tax return or renewed a driver's license in five years. No

unemployment, no welfare, no utility or credit card bills under his name. No

police record either, though.

He was a god.

Now he's a ghost.

What about family? Didn't he have a famous father?

Yeah, this dirtbag bottom feeder named Macon Dean.

He managed Johnny and then eventually produced the Stargazer family.

They had a huge filling out in the 70s. Yeah, Mick and Dean killed the show.

But before that, Johnny O was... Great,

Johnny O felony fan club.

Oh, we don't expect you to understand.

You're boys.

Okay, explain it to us.

See, remember before we got married, we talked about sexceptions?

Old Motown group, right?

No, you know, it's exceptions. Like, if a certain celebrity came along, all vows

of fidelity were put on hold.

Mine was Cindy Crawford.

Salma Hayek.

I'm not a writer.

No, Gibson.

You're kidding.

Johnny O?

How could you? Not Johnny O, the felon he says, but Johnny O, the 16 -year -old

star.

You having an indoor yard, Tim, or what?

Back off, Johnny. You're out of here.

Dude, who gets you girl?

Who stiffs me on the rent?

Three months' worth? How long do you think I can hold off, the owner? What do

you think I was looking for yet?

This is better.

But no, you're still homeless.

Hey, man.

What about the drugs, Johnny?

What about the damn TV with the bullet holes in it?

Just get out of here before I call the cops.

Don't go there, Connie.

You see?

No ray gun.

That must be him.

We haven't made the papers in 20 years.

Well, believe it or not, we...

We're both fans. Oh, so from your frame of reference, I am the abusive father

who has pushed my son over the edge for personal gain.

In a word, yes.

I appreciate your candor, Sergeant.

Try Cindy Russell.

Cindy Stargazer Russell?

She played a sister, right? The way I hear it, she still does.

She runs the Venice Grill down on the boardwalk.

That's Cindy Stargazer?

She might know where he is if, uh...

He hasn't burned that bridge, too.

I'm surprised old man Dean gave you the time of day.

Why do you want Johnny?

Well, he may have held up a grocery store.

Johnny used to come around here when he needed a few bucks or a place to crash,

but not anymore.

So all that stuff about you dating Johnny back then, that was all tabloid

right? Chris! What?

Oh.

I'm sorry, what am I saying? You're his sister. Chris!

Sorry, it's just that it's Cindy Stargazer in the flesh.

Look, if you do know where he is and you're not telling us, you could become

accessory in this.

Guys, if I see Johnny, I promise I probably won't. I'll give you a call,

She knows where he is. Oh, definitely, but she'll do the right thing. She's

Cindy Russell.

Cindy Russell.

You just made me a criminal.

They're just trying to scare you.

Oh, they succeeded.

Do you know how hard I worked trying to keep all this together?

Too hard. When I sell some of my new songs, I... Yeah, right.

And who's gonna buy them? The boys on cell block seven?

Johnny, I... I didn't mean that.

No, I mean you're right.

It's because I'm down the pipe doesn't mean I get to take you with me.

So listen, lend me 20 bucks.

Johnny, I can't. No more.

Come on, I'll pay you back.

You need help.

I'll drive you to rehab. I'll even pick up the tab.

But I am not putting one more dime into your veins.

Now you make the call.

All right, hands to me are nice and easy and nobody gets hurt.

All the narcotics and none of that generic crap either. Hey, pal.

We might have a little problem here.

Who the hell are you?

I've been casing this place for days. There is no way you're just going to

in here... Donald!

Listen, I don't want to die. Do you?

I don't really care.

Wait a minute.

You're that guy. The guy on the TV show. What do you call the race case family?

Stargazer.

Right. Man, that show sucked.

Everyone's a critic.

So, what are you doing now?

Right.

You, fill up that bag.

We'll sort this out later.

So what, we're partners now?

Yeah.

Either that or we kill each other.

Good point.

Come on, come on, fill it up.

Money, too.

What's the matter, huh? You never been robbed before?

That's it.

Very nice.

Come on.

What the hell did you do that for?

You sure you cut off with this work, big boy?

He said it's his second backup.

Freeze! Police!

You ever fire that thing before?

Not at all. Now you tell me.

Is there any suspect armed and dangerous heading westbound? I'm cool, Bob.

Roger. Copy that.

It's all right, Bobby. I'm okay.

Yeah.

Corey, I thought... Yeah, you and me both.

Did you get a look at that face?

Yeah.

Johnny O.

Here you go, here's a picture.

Washed up teen idols and the cops, they shoot the next Oprah.

Yeah, well, how about his buddy?

Guglielmo, Steven, assault with a deadly weapon, three to five, armed robbery,

seven to ten.

O and two and fouling them off.

You guys make any progress yet?

We put in an APB on the car and the two guys.

You okay?

Yeah.

Seven stitches, a little coating.

I'll be good as new.

Another inch, you'd be minus an arm.

I'm okay, Bobby.

Get back to work.

Hey, heard you took a bullet from that teen heartthrob. Not everyone could say

that. It wasn't Johnny. It was the other guy.

Oh, well, thank God for that.

Just exactly who is this has -been?

Johnny Dean, a .k .a. Johnny Osiris.

You know, Monica, those singing geeks on another planet wearing bell -bottom

spacesuits comes on Nick at Night after Mr.

Ed real late.

Ew. Hey.

Sorry, we just don't get it. Although we do get that sex section thing.

Denzel Washington.

Oscar de la Hoya.

Take a break

You

know being you in danger today

made me realize it was something I needed to do what was that

This is Robin Rydell, American News Network, with two officers involved in

shooting in Venice today. Is it true that former teen star Johnny Osiris is

of your principal suspects?

Turn it off.

You do not need her permission.

I'm just covering a story here.

I didn't expect to walk in and find my lead cops in a lip lock.

That sounds vaguely like a threat.

Was it meant to be vague?

Miss Rydell, I respect your rights, even though I don't agree with your tactics.

Is it really Johnny O?

Where did you get your information?

I got a friend at the security company.

Your turn.

All right, but I'm going to need something from you.

Promise me that that tape does not see the light of day.

You have my word.

So, is it Johnny O?

I think you already know the answer to that.

Fair enough.

Carry on.

Secret's safe with me.

That was a good score. That stuff's very cool.

Wait a second. Shh.

You hear that?

I got one of them. Quiet!

Steve Guglielmo.

Tonight, legions of still loyal fans wonder if this is the final flame out of

the once gifted and talented, now hunted and tormented, Johnny Osiris named

after a star.

Rocket Rangers We crashed and burned Lost the galaxy Trapped in

space Never to return A star

Did you hear what she called me?

Incompetent. Like if she's so good at her job, why isn't she on hard copy or

something? Tell me that.

Don't you get it?

We're going to be famous.

Johnny O and Stevie G.

Butch and Sundance.

Yeah, but didn't they die in a hail of gunfire?

Forget that, man. We're going to be huge.

You think I'm stupid?

Huh?

I mean, you're the big TV star.

Me, I'm a three -time loser.

So what's to stop you from just deciding to blow me off, huh?

Can I ask you a question?

Do you know what this is?

It's a paper napkin with ketchup on it.

This is a deal memo.

A what? A deal memo.

This certifies that whatever proceeds come from this partnership, we split 50

-50.

50 -50, huh?

For real?

If it makes you happy, I love it.

I feel kind of honored.

Can I ask you something?

Shoot.

That sexception thing, that's just a joke, right?

You are so sweet.

So all this Johnny O talk, it's just talk.

Right? I love you, TC.

I love you, too. You know, Johnny's really kind of pitiful now. It's a sad

shadow of its former self.

So, I'm switching to Brad Pitt.

Oh, yeah?

Jenny McCarthy!

Ha! Thanks for that.

What is that? Elevator music?

No, it's that song named after a star.

That Johnny O?

Tainted his picture. R. Corey McNamara.

Teenage sergeant with dimples spinning Johnny's record over and over again.

Wishing that he'd come and sweep her away so they could run off together.

And rob liquor stores.

Who was your secret fantasy?

J .R. Ewing.

A guy from Dallas?

He was cunning and vicious, and he would sell his grandmother if the price was

right. I still admire him today.

And who do you like?

Come on, we've got to get back to work.

No, no, no, no.

Spit it out.

Well, I kind of like that little kid on different strokes.

Gary Coleman? He was funny.

No, kids don't count. I mean, who is your heartthrob?

If you don't tell me, I'm going to tell everyone you had a blooming schoolgirl

crush on Tootie from The Facts of Life.

Okay, okay.

Chachi. The twerp from Happy Days?

He was not a twerp.

He was cool.

Jamie loves Chachi.

Jamie loves Chachi.

Chachi, Chachi.

Ready to go?

Wait, I got something for you.

What is it?

Albóndigas. Mexican penicillin. I made it for you.

You made it for me?

How sweet.

You must have been up all night.

Been looking in my window?

This better be good.

Corey McNamara?

Johnny Osiris.

Johnny, is that you?

Yeah, I called the station. They put me through. I hope I'm not bothering you.

No, no, no, no. It's okay.

Listen, I called to say I'm sorry about you getting hurt like that.

Johnny, where are you?

It's not what you think.

Someone's trying to kill me.

Well, then let us help you.

I want to. I want to turn myself in, but only to you.

I owe you that much.

Uh, I appreciate that, Johnny, but... Meet me at the marina.

Hurry, Cory.

He says he wants to turn himself in, TC, so no force.

Confirmed, but I'm calling in the chopper for backup.

That's a lot of blood to see.

Oh, great.

Breaking news here in the marina. A car belonging to Johnny Osiris and

splattered with blood has been found.

Apparently, the site of some violence. Perhaps violence done to this fallen

that once burned so bright in the Hollywood sky. What the hell are you

here? I'm here with Sergeant Corey McNamara, wounded in the shootout

How are you, Sergeant?

I'm all right. Thank you for asking.

I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. I hear you're a big Johnny O fan.

Of what he was, not what he's become.

You heard the lieutenant.

Once a loyal fan, now a tough cop.

Searching for answers to the terrible question.

The end of Johnny O. This is Robin Rydell, American News Network.

I'm sorry to take over this case, and I didn't want you to report ASAP.

Come on, TC.

There was no body.

Very little blood. You know this is a setup.

Like it or not, you're a principal in this case.

Yeah, thanks to news bitch Burby.

And if this weren't about Johnny Osiris, you'd hand it off in a second, wouldn't

you?

It's not our case anymore, Corey.

Well, then whose is it?

The media's maybe.

Johnny's father? No, he's out whipping some new 14 -year -old.

Corey. Now Johnny's playing Bonnie and Clyde with some lifer -to -be, and you

know what?

Somebody's gonna get killed.

And I don't want it to be you.

And I don't want it to be Johnny. It's late.

Go home.

In fact, take a couple of days off.

You pulling rank on me now?

Yeah.

I am.

I, uh, want to be alone right now.

Look, I've been thinking about it a lot, and, well, it always comes back

to the cop thing.

You mean the cop's wife thing?

I promised myself I'd never get involved with a man in uniform.

You just let down a nation of mailmen.

Look, I got enough worries right now.

Besides, every time we're about to... Pager goes off, the phone rings, or

somebody knocks on the door.

Yeah. That's some kind of sign.

Like maybe we're setting it up that way.

Because deep inside, we don't really want to go there.

Uh -huh.

But even deeper inside, we do.

At least I do.

Tell you what.

Let's go back to square one.

Okay? Like we just met.

Let's treat ourselves to a nice, friendly first date.

Deal?

Deal.

Oh, check this out.

Struck by the tragic irony of the sudden resurgence of Johnny O's popularity

following his troubles with the law, his mysterious disappearance, a probable

demise.

Only in Hollywood.

Hey guys, thanks for coming.

I'm Cindy Russell.

Please join me now in a moment of silence, sending a prayer out to

Johnny is tonight.

Let him be safe.

Let him know that we still care.

We still hope for the best.

We still love him.

Let's vote them.

We could start a riot.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Listen, I know some people are looking for me, but nothing is what it appears

be. I am innocent of all the charges against me.

I want you to know I look forward to my day in court so I can put this whole

thing behind me.

Because all I really want to do is sing for you people.

Here's a new take on one of your favorites.

Let him sing. We'll take him on the way out.

Hey,

you want a piece of me?

Mark,

grab the shot. Get the shot, Mark.

conference at my offices tomorrow at 9 a .m. But for now, understand that my

client here is an innocent man wrongfully accused.

Can you prove that, Mr. Constanza?

All in due time. But the real suspect is still at large, and the police should

be focusing their efforts on that and not pursuing a personal vendetta here.

What about the videotape evidence?

If L .A. justice has taught us anything, it's that there are videotapes and

there are videotapes.

We'll have to wait and see what that means.

But at least one reporter has a clue.

This is Officer Bobby Cruz, who apparently didn't like Johnny O's newest

of Named After Star.

It stands with coming out guns blazing. He's already filed huge motions against

the department and you specifically.

For what?

Keeping his client from being ripped to shreds by that mob?

For abuse of power and assault under the color of authority.

He's claiming Osiris was coerced into the robbery at the pharmacy and that

you're carrying out a personal vendetta for the shooting because you got the

hots for Corey McNamara.

Well, we've just dragged the gutter down to a whole new low.

Not yet.

This is Robin Rydell, American News Network, with two officers involved in

shooting in Venice today. Is it true that former teen star Johnny Osiris is

of your principals?

Say nothing.

Bobby, man to man, I'm the last person you need to explain this to.

Thanks, DC.

But cop to cop, we've got a serious problem.

Now all we can do is try and control the damage.

Yeah, and personally, I'd like to damage that lying reporter.

Oh, Costanza would love that.

No, you cool it.

Keep an extremely low profile. Do not make contact with any of the principals

this case, especially Corey.

No statements to the press.

We clear?

Clear. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

I don't have to understand what.

I'm saying you.

With what? 045?

Hey, I'm going to make you famous, amigo.

Comprende? Amigo?

You spoiled little piece of Hollywood trash.

I used to watch that piece of crap show you were on, and it sucked.

You had an opportunity half of America would have killed for, and you blew it,

amigo. Yeah, well, if they did kill for it and got caught, you'd probably get

them off.

Now that's the first smart thing you said today.

Besides, I'm already famous, kid.

So you're confident that your legal troubles are just temporary?

Well, I can't really talk about the case, but I'm confident my lawyer will

plenty to say.

Switching then to your plans for the future.

Well, everyone's pretty excited. There's the new CD and there's even a film

offer on the table.

Does that mean a reconciliation with your father, Macon Dean?

I don't really want to get into that.

There you have it, our exclusive interview with Johnny Osiris. His future

rests in the hands of Julio Costanza.

You've got to be kidding me.

What is the deal here, superstar?

Huh?

Costanza lays the whole thing off on old Stevie boy, and meanwhile, you're

getting a big Lewinsky from Lois Lane.

Steve, it's a strategy. Will you just let the lawyer work his magic?

Yeah.

abracadabra, and I disappear on three strikes.

Dude, relax.

You have the goods on me, too. I can't let anything happen to you. You're my

insurance policy.

Just keep that in mind, TV boy.

And don't forget, we're partners.

Yeah. Well, there's been a slight change in that.

What change?

There's no change.

Remember?

See? I got a contract.

Costanza doesn't come cheap. I had to cut a deal with him.

He's now in for a third.

Okay.

But he's in for a third of your half.

I tried that. Believe me.

See?

It's a linen napkin.

Can I come in?

Bad idea.

Yeah, you're probably right.

In fact, the more I think about it, the whole thing's a bad idea.

Which whole thing are we talking about?

The only one that matters.

You and me.

Yeah, it's all I've been thinking about.

Let me get this out.

These feelings make us vulnerable.

We become targets, and it's not even our fault.

No, Bobby, this is all my fault for trusting Robin Rydell.

If not her, then somebody else.

If not now, then somewhere down the road.

Cory, as tough as it may be... Bobby, no.

Please don't say it.

Officer Cruz, is it true that you attacked Johnny Osiris because he came

you and Sergeant McNamara?

Bad time, Robin.

Could you answer my question?

Bad time, Robin.

Put that on your six o 'clock news. Oh, I will.

You can count on it.

Cruz!

Oh, boy, I know that tone of voice.

What's up, T .C.? It's between Bobby and me.

You're in deep.

We having some kind of language barrier?

Is there something about keep a low profile that you do not understand? She

outside my place. It was all I could do to keep her from filing felony charges.

It was all I could do to keep from deserving them.

I'm at the back for you, Bobby.

I believed in you.

I lost my head.

You may have lost a hell of a lot more than that.

I'm trying to help you here, Bobby, but you're indefensible.

You are on a desk, and you don't move until I tell you to.

Forget it.

Excuse me?

Look, I came into this deal because of you. If you're gonna pull the rug out,

us both a favor and transfer me.

You don't want to play that card right now. Got news for you. My whole hand

sucks. You know what?

I fold.

Please do something stupid.

Ah! Oh, jeez, I'm shot!

This is 3 Pacific Blue. We are 10 -15. We've got an ambulance at this location.

Roger, 183.

Costanza! I want Julio Costanza!

I can't believe you still have that.

I know, but I don't have anything to play it on. Well, stay tuned for the new

CD.

I don't think I'm going to be buying it.

This is how I want to think of him.

You know, everybody said how spoiled he was and how he wrecked his own success.

But by the time he was 13, his dad had him working 16 -hour days.

Well, Corey, this world twists our values.

Most of us learn to live with that.

I know.

But I can't look at him without seeing this 13 -year -old kid trying so hard to

please everyone.

And all he really wanted was to be loved.

Now he needs a miracle.

Sorry. Guess I'm fresh out.

Weird -looking frisbee. Does it fly?

Russ, I can't feel anything in my right hand.

Open it up, dough boy.

Son, inside.

Cindy, come on. I mean, I'm finally paying you back. Tell me I'm not good

business.

Fine, sit up here. Be a target for that dumbass accomplice of yours.

Yeah, well, I guess you didn't hear. He is busted in the slam. Three strikes and

bye -bye. I guess you didn't hear.

A terrifying incident today as Johnny Osiris' alleged accomplice, Steve

Guglielmo, escaped from the jail ward at Bayview Hospital.

Guglielmo is still at large and authorities are looking for Osiris.

Currently out on bail pending his arraignment on Monday.

You heard her. We're looking for both of them.

Really? How hard are we looking?

I'm kidding.

Just kidding.

All units, converge at the Santa Rivera Hotel.

Code 3, detainee question Johnny Osiris.

1 -P -V -3, like it or not, T -C, I'm coming.

Hey, let's go.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

You're that guy.

Yeah, that guy on TV.

Johnny Oak. Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, here we go.

Can you fly, please?

Hi,

partner.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

You miss me? Oh, man, am I glad to see you.

I'll bet.

Police! Hold it right there!

Get down!

Drop it, Steve!

You don't have to die, man.

1PB4, we need an ambulance to the Marina Hotel. Shots fired.

Roger, 1PB4. Dispatching ambulance.

You okay, Johnny?

Better than he is.

Thanks. Aw.

Come on.

So Bobby and I declared a 30 -day moratorium on everything.

I think it's a good move. Don't let anybody pressure you. You have plenty of

time. Look into your heart.

Yeah, I guess for now we make better partners than we do lovers, but you

know.

Hey, Sarge. Hey. We have a gift for you.

Now, why does it sound like a setup?

Check it out. It's the last one in the store.

Oh, how thoughtful.

A frisbee, right?

Wow.

That's great.

So, they let you come out, huh?

Sheriff's an old friend of mine.

Look, Johnny, the new CD's already filling out.

And if you'll stay clean, the label's giving us the green light.

Johnny O, live from Lompoc.

Got a certain ring to it.

Hey, you're that guy.

That guy from TV, right?

The Stargazer family.

Don't try to talk it down.

Why everyone went to my town.

The sand and me.

It was for me.

Take a look around.

Just another day.

Need more than me.

Anybody thinks he is free.

Someday.

One bullet down.

Just another day.