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1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,258
Hey, man.
2
00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:06,080
It's after midnight. You're still doing
paperwork?
3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,360
Yeah. My secretary sure picked a good
time to quit.
4
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:12,600
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I
could tell you my evening with Lana the
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,220
UN translator wasn't so great.
6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,180
Ah, thanks, but you don't have to do
that. Good, because it was awesome.
7
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,360
You know how to say no in Latvian? No.
Neither does she.
8
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,980
Oh, I gotta get this suit pressed for
this weekend.
9
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:29,040
Mom asked me to be on the bachelor
auction at the hospital.
10
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:32,000
Guess she's calling him the big guns.
11
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,040
Great, she's probably going to ask me,
too.
12
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,840
Maybe, yeah.
13
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,800
Maybe? Of course she is.
14
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,340
Okay.
15
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,980
She's not going to ask you and not me.
16
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,480
Yeah, whatever you say, buddy.
17
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,240
Hey, boys.
18
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,400
Well,
19
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,560
Crystal and I had a little spat.
20
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,320
Oh, sorry about that, Dad.
21
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,820
Yeah, anything you want to talk about?
Don't get involved.
22
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,780
No, no, no, you know, it's just a little
misunderstanding.
23
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,600
Crystal is under the impression I like
hearing her talking when I'm watching
24
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,840
Well, I'm sure you guys will work it
out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just need to be
25
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,960
little more patient. She needs to zippy
the lippy.
26
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,740
You mind if I watch down here?
27
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,020
Yeah, Dad, go ahead.
28
00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:16,520
Uh, but not too loud. I need my beauty
rest if I want to fetch top dollar at
29
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:17,279
that auction.
30
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,470
Yeah. You don't want to go on the
auction block with those bags under your
31
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I don't have bags.
32
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,350
Fine. Those dark circles.
33
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Are you messing with me?
34
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:33,230
No. I'm just saying you want to get some
rest because not a lot of women want to
35
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,550
buy a date with the Hamburglar.
36
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:39,670
I'm not letting you get to me because
it's not a competition. It's an honor
37
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:40,488
to be asked.
38
00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:42,870
Okay. And humiliating not to be. Night
-night.
39
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:47,800
All right, Dad, I'm going to bed, too.
The movie is coming back on. Please, I
40
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,240
just want to see how it ends. Okay, good
night. Good night.
41
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,200
Of course I'm tired. Dad left the TV on
all night.
42
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,520
Oh, who's making fun of my white noise
machine now?
43
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,880
Just pray it doesn't hurt your chances
at the bachelor auction.
44
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:35,300
I know you're just trying to get in my
head, but trust me, it's not working.
45
00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:37,140
Hi, kids. How you doing?
46
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,340
Ollie, you look exhausted.
47
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:46,000
Oh, boys, check out that cute little
brunette. Oh, don't do that, Mom. It's
48
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,300
upsetting enough when Dad does it.
49
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,860
Oh, no, it's not for you.
50
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,680
She's new at the hospital. I met her at
a luncheon today.
51
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,540
She's bright, she's funny, she's
accomplished, and she's a lesbian.
52
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,160
Wow, Mom, Dad made you that bitter?
53
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,820
Not for me, for Regina.
54
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,580
Regina's been looking for someone for so
long.
55
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,420
So when she gets here, I'm going to
introduce the two of them. Oh, that's a
56
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,940
great plan if you never want them to
date. What do you mean?
57
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,900
It's true, Mom. Anyone you set her up
with, she immediately finds fault with.
58
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,820
Remember Candace, the golf pro? Oh.
59
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,460
Aside from those overdeveloped forearms,
I thought she was delightful.
60
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,880
And Regina wanted nothing to do with
her, just like Karen and Marsha and...
61
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:28,459
Yeah, I know.
62
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:31,660
No, no, I get the point. All right,
Ollie, I want you to go over there, hit
63
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,460
her. When she turns you down, you
introduce her to Regina.
64
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,680
What if she doesn't turn me down?
65
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,380
We'll risk it.
66
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:45,580
Hello there.
67
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,760
I'm Oliver Barnes. I'm a cosmetic
surgeon at the hospital.
68
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,780
Do I know you from there?
69
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,340
Could be. I just started there.
70
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,180
Carla Munson. I'm a radiologist.
71
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,220
Oh, well, that certainly explains why
you're glowing.
72
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,640
And why I can see right through you.
73
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:05,620
Look, I'm flattered, but I actually
don't date guys.
74
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,100
Oh, man.
75
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:07,939
Hey, Ellen.
76
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:08,940
Hey, Regina.
77
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,100
Come here.
78
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:14,440
Regina, this is Carla from the hospital.
I just hit on her and she shot me down.
79
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,520
I feel so stupid.
80
00:04:15,740 --> 00:04:17,250
Don't. I just told you I was gay.
81
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,470
Hey, wait a minute. Regina, you're gay,
too.
82
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:25,030
You are. You must love flannel shirts.
John, you must love women's basketball.
83
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:28,150
Ganging up on the breeder.
84
00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:30,510
I love it.
85
00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:35,610
Fish, barrel, bang.
86
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,690
Holly, you're priceless.
87
00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:42,430
Oh, speaking of which, Ben, I've been
meaning to talk to you about that
88
00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:43,710
Oh, you have?
89
00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:45,050
Yeah, we need a new emcee.
90
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:46,750
What?
91
00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:50,490
The one we had dropped out and we'll
never get a new guy this late. You don't
92
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,449
want me to be a bachelor?
93
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:52,450
No, I'm sorry.
94
00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:54,150
It's doctor's only.
95
00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:55,970
Who made that rule?
96
00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:57,410
It's not important.
97
00:04:59,010 --> 00:05:02,670
Anyway, I'll give you a chance to use
those auctioneering skills you learned
98
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,670
summer camp that year.
99
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:06,790
Well, I was wasting my time learning how
to throw a football and unhook a bra.
100
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:09,870
That sounds good. I'll give you a call.
101
00:05:13,390 --> 00:05:15,690
Oh, my God, Ollie, thank you so much.
She's so cute. I just want to pick her
102
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,690
and put her in my pocket.
103
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:18,450
Well, I'm glad you like her.
104
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,130
Who's that, darling? A woman. Ollie
introduced me to.
105
00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:25,010
A sweet, hot doctor, Mom. I'm like a
certain she -man in golf cleats.
106
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:28,390
Someday, darling, maybe I'll figure out
what you like.
107
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:29,950
Let's start with two eyebrows.
108
00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:35,350
I gotta run, but Ollie, thank you. I owe
you. In fact, you know what? Stop by
109
00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:37,930
later. You know Nadia, that cute
pharmaceutical rep? Yeah?
110
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:41,150
She just gave me some eye cream that
should really help with that raccoon
111
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,150
you got going on.
112
00:05:46,490 --> 00:05:48,030
Hey, Dad, what's going on?
113
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:52,290
Nothing. I just needed a little breather
from Crystal, that's all. Uh, Dan, I
114
00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:56,490
know avoidance is not the answer, but
come on. Dan, if your dad calls, don't
115
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,870
tell him I'm... Oh.
116
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,490
Oh. Crystal.
117
00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:05,450
Well, no, no. If you need some time to
yourself, I understand. I'll just go
118
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:09,710
upstairs. I'll work on the employee
evaluations that somebody forgot to
119
00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:10,710
me of. How come?
120
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:15,210
Every time you forget something, it's my
fault for not reminding you? Guys,
121
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,270
guys. Don't get involved.
122
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:21,530
You've been so unreasonable lately. Ben,
you're a couple's counselor.
123
00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:22,730
Tell him he's wrong.
124
00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:28,590
Look, it seems to me the problem is you
guys spend so much time together, work
125
00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:29,770
and home, it's hard.
126
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,240
And you're both such good people that
when something bothers you, you don't
127
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,120
anything. You just suppress it all
until, finally, you explode.
128
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,760
Well, that makes a lot of sense, doesn't
it, Crystal Kins? Yeah.
129
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:45,600
Um, by the way, when you call me Crystal
Kins, it kind of makes me want to punch
130
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,600
you in the heart.
131
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,300
I'm going to file that away.
132
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:56,100
You know, just be honest with each other
and don't let the little things turn
133
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,100
into big things.
134
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,800
Thanks, Ken. Yeah, and...
135
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,540
Your next colonoscopy?
136
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:01,780
It's on me.
137
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,620
Where the hell is Regina? She's supposed
to bring me that eye cream.
138
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,580
Ollie, will you relax about the stupid
auction? It's why you're not sleeping.
139
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,380
Yeah, that and finding out who the other
bachelors are. They got Murphy, the
140
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:17,040
triathlete, Strickland. They even got
Donahue, the orthopedist. That guy's a
141
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,040
piece of ass.
142
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,000
Dropped off Monty. I thought I'd come
by. See how you're doing for that
143
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,520
tomorrow night? Yeah, I'm ready.
144
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,300
I spent last night watching a hog
auction on the Livestock Channel to
145
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,420
on my auctioneering skill.
146
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,520
Oh, that's what that squealing was in
there.
147
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,440
I am hugely relieved.
148
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,340
Hey, Ellen. Yeah, yeah, you got the
stuff?
149
00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:48,540
Yeah.
150
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:50,840
Hey, guys.
151
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,930
Pretty strong stuff. Go easy, huh? Yeah,
yeah, it's burning my eyes.
152
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,350
But that's good.
153
00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:58,570
The burning means it's working.
154
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:00,990
Hey, Carla.
155
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:03,390
Ow!
156
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,410
Carla, this is my other brother, Ben.
157
00:08:07,690 --> 00:08:11,050
Hi, nice to meet you. And this is my
mom. We met at a luncheon last week. Oh,
158
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,590
yes, right. I thought you looked
familiar.
159
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:14,830
Hey, Carla, how are you liking the
hospital?
160
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:16,510
So far, so good.
161
00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:17,950
I'm really liking the doctors.
162
00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,010
Excuse me, I've got to take this.
163
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,680
Do you know Carla is on a national
medical fellowship?
164
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,800
Nana would be so happy I finally got
myself a fella.
165
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:30,620
Hey, Ollie, thanks again.
166
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,400
You really know how to pick them. Yeah,
this one's a keeper.
167
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:36,820
Oh, well, glad you like her. You know,
I'm thinking of taking her to La Cucina
168
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:40,179
tonight. Oh, that's such a romantic
spot. I know the owner. I could call
169
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,039
get you a great table. Mom, why don't we
get some wine and cheese out here?
170
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,260
Could you give me a hand? Oh, sure.
171
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:53,040
What are you doing? Are you trying to
drive Regina away from her? What are you
172
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:53,819
talking about?
173
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,040
You've got to go easy on the approval
and the compliment.
174
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,100
Come on, they're already together.
175
00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,840
Can't I even say I like this girl?
176
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,540
Mom, do you want to fulfill your dream
of being the mother of the bride at a
177
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:03,540
Hawaiian commitment ceremony?
178
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,780
Hey, Mom, don't worry about calling the
restaurant.
179
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,080
I just changed my mind. I think I'm just
going to stay home tonight.
180
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,400
On your own?
181
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:14,140
Yeah, I'm just kind of tired. Well,
that's probably for the best.
182
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,080
What's that for tonight?
183
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,180
Oh, it's just...
184
00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:19,670
Oh, nothing. It's not important.
185
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:22,570
No. God, what?
186
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:27,670
Well, I mean, you did say that Carla was
really kind of full of herself. I mean,
187
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:28,690
come on.
188
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:31,050
I'm a national medical fellow. We get
it.
189
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:36,410
Okay, she didn't bring that up. I did.
And who told you? Oh, you know what? You
190
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,710
are unbelievable. You always find
something. I wasn't going to say a word.
191
00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:42,810
dragged it out of me. And besides, when
does my opinion matter anyway? It
192
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,130
doesn't, Mom. You know what? I like her.
I'm not going to let you ruin it.
193
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,540
I hope that went really well on you.
194
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,780
Not asleep, are you?
195
00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:58,520
Oh, no, no, no. I'm working on the
employee evaluations.
196
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:07,880
As your employee, I'd like to give you
my own evaluation, Dr. Barnes.
197
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,920
You know what? This can wait till later.
198
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,420
You know, we've been fighting a lot
lately.
199
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:19,070
and I thought we could use a little... R
&R?
200
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,409
That's right.
201
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:23,770
And you know what you get when you put R
&R together?
202
00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:26,670
Hey,
203
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:29,510
is that my evaluation?
204
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:32,970
Uh, yeah, yeah. But you know what? We
can do this later, sweetie.
205
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:36,730
But Stuart, it's the last one. Don't you
want to finish what you started?
206
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,790
I'd rather finish what you just started.
207
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:43,770
Look, Crystal, you know what? I cannot
do this in front of you. All right.
208
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:48,910
Stuart? This is just what Ben was saying
yesterday. We need to be honest.
209
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,530
Go on. Fill it out.
210
00:10:50,790 --> 00:10:52,710
Okay. All right. Let's see.
211
00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:54,910
Utilizes work time efficiency.
212
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,490
Okay. A five.
213
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:57,850
Oh, yeah.
214
00:10:58,590 --> 00:10:59,590
Demonstrates initiative.
215
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:01,650
Five. Do it. Be honest.
216
00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,590
All right. All right. If I had to.
217
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,510
Organization. Four.
218
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,310
See? That doesn't bother me.
219
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:11,310
Wow. Ben was right.
220
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:13,630
Yeah. All right. Takes instruction.
221
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:19,800
Four. Here we go. We're being all open
and honest and we're... Two.
222
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:21,020
Yeah. Two.
223
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,400
What's a two for? Oh, that's just
punctuality.
224
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,280
Punctuality? Well, you have to admit
that sometimes you're late.
225
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:28,640
Like when?
226
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,560
Like, uh, last week when we were meeting
at the movies, you were late.
227
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:34,360
Oh, that wasn't for work.
228
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:35,800
Yeah, but it was during work hours.
229
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:42,520
Oh. Well, maybe I just wasn't as excited
as you to see another boring...
230
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,880
Ashley Judd movie.
231
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,800
Relates well to others.
232
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,920
Two. Okay.
233
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:53,660
We're done here.
234
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,440
So what do you think the chances are
that we can... I give it a one.
235
00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:04,800
Hey, Ollie, you excited?
236
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,980
Did you see Dr. Davis? That fat tub lost
weight.
237
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,140
He was my safety net. I could be low bid
now.
238
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,100
You're going to be fine. No, man, I
can't do it.
239
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:15,980
This time I'm really out of magic.
240
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,860
You just have to get the crowd on your
side. When you come out on stage,
241
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,500
compliment the bachelor before you.
242
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,220
Also, work the crowd a little bit. Get
them fired up.
243
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,300
Oliver, are you getting any of this? You
look confused.
244
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,580
I self -botoxed.
245
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,000
What? Yeah, I needed a little boost, so
I injected myself a few hours ago.
246
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:39,360
Where? Everywhere.
247
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:41,970
It's just starting to kick in.
248
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,610
Does my face look years younger yet?
249
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,330
Some of it does.
250
00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:50,910
Hey, check it out.
251
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:56,850
Dr. John Miles, join me on my yacht for
a moonlit cruise around the Statue of
252
00:12:56,850 --> 00:12:57,850
Liberty.
253
00:12:58,030 --> 00:12:59,370
You're bidding on a date with a guy?
254
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:03,030
No, I'm bidding on a date with you. That
guy's just going to drive us around in
255
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,030
his boat.
256
00:13:05,190 --> 00:13:06,690
You like another drink? Sure thing.
257
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:08,270
You will be after this drink.
258
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:12,919
Hi, darling.
259
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,160
Hi. Something happen to Carla? No, she's
here.
260
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,100
Yeah, well, I saw the way she was
dressed, and I thought maybe her
261
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,500
burned down, and she had to stop by
Goodwill on the way over here.
262
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:25,320
You know what, Mom? Every shot you take
just pushes me and Carla a little closer
263
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,320
together.
264
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,980
I'd better watch what I say, then.
265
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,340
Hey, what's wrong with you?
266
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,220
I injected myself with Botox.
267
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,140
Lots and lots of Botox.
268
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:43,260
Just try moving your face.
269
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:44,680
Okay.
270
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,400
This is me smiling. Oh, God.
271
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:50,520
No, this is me freaking out.
272
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,040
Ollie, Ollie, Ollie, just calm down.
273
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,180
I can't tell you. Calm me down.
274
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,060
Still freaking out.
275
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:03,810
I am so screwed. Now no one's going to
bid on me. Ollie, Ollie, come on. Women
276
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,090
love you. Even Carla was saying how cute
you were when you hit on her. That
277
00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:08,370
doesn't count. Mom made me.
278
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,010
Mom made you what? Nothing.
279
00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:12,710
What did she say?
280
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:15,030
Ow, ow, ow. Regina, that really hurts.
281
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:18,710
Okay.
282
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:19,870
This is ridiculous.
283
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:23,230
Mom wanted to set you up with Carla, but
she knew you'd never go for it if it
284
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,230
was her idea.
285
00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:25,390
That's crazy.
286
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,690
Yes, it's crazy, but she's right.
287
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:31,220
So she's just pretending to hate her so
that... No, no, no, look, let it go.
288
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,360
You and Carla are great together. Be
happy.
289
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:40,580
Now I need to go find a bathroom because
Botox is working its way down my face
290
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,660
and I'm starting to drool.
291
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:52,000
Hey, uh, Mom, you know, I was just
talking to Carla and I'm starting to see
292
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,120
you mean. She is really full of herself.
293
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:55,580
What?
294
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,260
Don't gloat about this, but you're
right. I think maybe I'm going to break
295
00:14:59,260 --> 00:14:59,959
off with her.
296
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:00,960
Oh, no, no, no.
297
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,420
There's no reason to listen to
everything I say. I mean, sometimes I
298
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,340
resentful of other people's happiness
because I'm so lonely myself.
299
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,820
But Carla's so full of herself. Look at
me. I'm a national fellow.
300
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,800
You know, plus she's flaky and annoying.
Regina?
301
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,780
Carla, I didn't mean that. Then why did
you say it?
302
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,800
I was trying to get back at my mom.
303
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:24,219
You were?
304
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:26,160
Yeah, look, she's been trashing you all
week.
305
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,600
Well, isn't that nice to know? No, no, I
wasn't trashing you, because I thought
306
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,680
that was the only way that I could get
you two together.
307
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:36,340
Oliver got us together. Yeah, only after
she sent him over so he could hit on
308
00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:37,800
you and then he could introduce us.
309
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,400
Which is pretty funny when you think
about it.
310
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:43,300
This is too weird. Call it, wait,
Regina.
311
00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:49,420
Good evening, everyone, and welcome to
The Bachelor Auction.
312
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,400
I'm your emcee, Ben Barnes.
313
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:53,700
First, I need to make one thing clear.
314
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,960
I am not for sale.
315
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,440
Okay.
316
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,240
Why don't we bring out our first
bachelor, radiologist Norman
317
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:11,020
All right, ladies, let's get out those
checkbooks.
318
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,780
We're going to start the bidding at
$100. Do I have a $100 bid?
319
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,300
I got a $100 bid now, too.
320
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,720
I got a $100 bid now, too. Now, two,
here, two. Another bid now, three. Now,
321
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,720
three. Another bid now, four.
322
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000
What are you thinking?
323
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,860
I'm thinking that little bastard's a
really good auctioneer.
324
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,860
Gina, I feel really terrible about this.
325
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:33,300
I don't think Carla would be good for
you. Look, it's all right, Mom.
326
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:36,000
If he had told me that, I never would
have given her a chance.
327
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,100
What does it say about me?
328
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,880
What does it say about me? My only
daughter?
329
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,640
Just like anything I like.
330
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,700
They haven't all been bad.
331
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,900
You know Candace the golfer?
332
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,920
I was actually kind of missing her the
other day.
333
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,740
Really? Yeah. I was having trouble
getting the lid off a jar of mayonnaise.
334
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:59,640
Well, I was the same way with my mother.
I had to do the opposite of everything
335
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,379
she said.
336
00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:01,380
Really? Yeah.
337
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,700
I remember once she told me if I married
your father, I'd live to regret it.
338
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,339
I guess the moral of that story is
listen to your mother.
339
00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:16,440
Now, ladies, Dr. Robert Winslow is an
award -winning researcher specializing
340
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,358
hearing impairment.
341
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:21,099
Death since childhood, he has spent
time... Wireless hours preventing
342
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,300
loss throughout the world.
343
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:23,900
Can I say something?
344
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:30,780
I can't say I hear as well as the other
bachelors, but if you're going to stay
345
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:33,860
with me, I promise no one will try
harder.
346
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:41,180
Lady, we're going to start the bidding
at
347
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:42,960
$100. $100 bid now, too.
348
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,560
$200 bid now, too. $200 bid now, five.
349
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,480
$200 bid now, five.
350
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,240
Can I talk to you for a moment? Look, I
really don't want to get in the middle
351
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,880
of some bizarre mother -daughter thing.
I just want to say, Gina's really worth
352
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:53,879
it.
353
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,860
Sold for $5 ,000, a new auction record.
354
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,740
There goes a very lucky lady.
355
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:05,400
All right, let's bring in our next
bachelor, my brother, Dr. Oliver Barn.
356
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:07,640
Where's Oliver?
357
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,200
Ah, here he is.
358
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,560
Gina, I really like you, and don't hold
her family against her.
359
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,370
We may have our flaws, but we're not
monsters.
360
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:20,090
How about this guy, huh?
361
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,450
Let's give it up for this guy.
362
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:26,710
I can't hear you.
363
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:32,030
Oh, come on, ladies. I can't hear you.
364
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,610
No, I can hear you.
365
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:42,510
Okay, let's start the bidding at $120
bid.
366
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:43,750
I got a $20 bid now.
367
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,360
Yes, you did. $20 bid now. There he is.
368
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:52,500
Come on, Ollie. It wasn't that bad.
369
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,920
I got booed from mocking a deaf guy.
370
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:00,440
And my mom bought me with a pity bid of
$50.
371
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:08,820
I need your help, Ben.
372
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,440
That honesty advice?
373
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,220
Not so hot so.
374
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,880
Stuck your nose in and got what you
deserved.
375
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,200
This is the first time I smiled all
night.
376
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:23,140
Night, guys.
377
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,260
Night, son.
378
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,300
Guys, it's midnight.
379
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:28,060
What's going on?
380
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,840
All right. You know, we did that honesty
thing that you told us about. We had
381
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,140
the biggest fight of our lives.
382
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,840
I have thoughts a lady shouldn't have.
383
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:40,540
I'll make a pot of coffee. We can talk
this all through.
384
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,120
But I have to be blunt.
385
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,470
You guys are fighting at work, you're
fighting at home, and it seems to be
386
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:46,470
getting worse.
387
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,510
There may be no easy solution to this.
388
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:57,030
Wow.
389
00:19:57,910 --> 00:20:00,410
I never thought it would come to this.
390
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:06,230
You know, Crystal, we have had the most
unbelievable run.
391
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:10,130
But I think we have to face facts.
392
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,540
Are you going to say what I think you're
going to say?
393
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:15,860
Yes, sweetie.
394
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:18,960
You're fired.
395
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,480
Oh, Stuart.
396
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:26,060
Now, I know how hard this is on you
guys, and believe me, if there's
397
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,660
anything at all that I can do to help, I
will.
398
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,560
Why are you looking at me like that?
399
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,560
Benjamin Byron's office. Crystal
speaking.
400
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:41,660
Oh, you sound sad.
401
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,380
Oh, all right. I'll have him call you.
402
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,640
Great work, you guys. I'll see you next
Thursday.
403
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,060
I'll be back with my two.
404
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,860
Bye. I'll see you next week.
405
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,460
Yeah, next week.
406
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:56,880
We'll miss it. Take a picture, Frank.
It'll last longer. She smiled at me. I'm
407
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,880
not used to that.
408
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,960
I really think this new gal is going to
work out. Shut up.
33054
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