Original subtitles

An ordinary man, insurance executive, 45 years old, stumbles to his death on a

subway platform in New York City.

Or does he?

Unbeknownst to his wife or child, his brain is rescued from the accident scene

by a secret branch of the United States government and put into the body of an

artificially produced 26 -year -old man who has the strength of Superman, the

speed of Michael Jordan, and the grace of Fred Astaire.

The only catch.

On the penalty of death, he can never let anyone from his past know he is

alive. And that, my friends, is a problem.

For this man is desperately in love with his wife, his daughter, and his former

life.

Jimmy, you up?

Honey, breakfast is almost ready.

Hold on a second.

Jimmy, it's going to get cold.

Okay, Janet, I got to go now. Yeah, thanks for listening.

Bye. All right, sweetie.

Now take your medicine now. Do it while Mommy's watching.

Good. Keep the voices down.

Uh -oh.

Check him out.

Look who's here.

It's Mr. Super Duperty Man.

Yo, Super Duperty Man, come here. Hi,

guys. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Check out the tux, man.

You look like a reject from the ABA.

Where'd you get those, Dr. J. Lennon teeth?

Plaid cape.

Plaid cape. Are you supposed to be Captain Plaid?

No.

It's my winter cape.

My mom makes me wear it when it's cold outside.

When it's cold outside?

What am I going to do with you?

Whoa,

whoa, whoa. Jimbo, where you going?

I got a mission.

Hey, check this out, man.

Don't be playing down by them factories, all right? We got people giving us good

money to keep people away from those factories. No, no, hold up. Listen,

not going to care about him. I'm just trying to tell you. They're not going to

care about him. It's just Jimmy.

It's okay?

It's okay, man.

Hey, Jimmy.

You want it?

No, I got it.

You know how we do, right?

All right.

Captain

Vlad

is in the house, baby.

What's up?

You are real.

Superboy.

There he is, behind you! Turn the car around!

Take

him to

hell!

we here at superheroes anonymous realize you have a choice in law enforcement

and we're grateful you chose us

super friends can handle things from here. Whatever you say, Commissioner

Gordon. To the Batcave, 63rd Madison Avenue.

And step on it.

63rd Madison.

63rd Madison.

63rd Madison.

Ticker symbol, A -Z -Q. A -Z.

Creating at.

A -Z -Q -A -Z.

26 and quarter. Okay.

26 .25 times 200

shares.

5 ,250 bucks.

What the hell?

I'm in.

Didn't I tell you I was working on a very important report and not to disturb

me?

Oh, right. Right, Lisa. Yes.

Yes, yes. Sure, I'm in. Yeah.

Oh, you, Mr. Bender. It went well.

Oh, it went more than well. It went beautifully.

They are such nice people.

Yeah, yeah. As soon as I heard that he was moving here and that his wife was in

town with him, I thought, put him together with Lisa.

Well, they're flying home tonight, and they'll be back in three weeks for some

house hunting. You know what?

Forgive me, but it's almost...

Four o 'clock, and there's a stock I want to buy, and I have to get the order

before the market closes at four.

Online trading. Roger.

A Gen X of you.

I wonder what Joe Frimburg would say about that.

Joe Frimburg?

The rest of that pack of thieves at Reeves and Weathers? Why should I care

Joe Frimburg has to say?

Wow. I thought he was your friend.

He's been your broker for a long time. He's been our broker for a long time.

In fact, you were the one that introduced him to us.

Lisa, Joe Frimberg is a dinosaur.

Everyone is trading online nowadays. 22 -year -old kids are becoming

millionaires overnight.

What do I need, a broker? Come here. Let me show you something. Come on, come

on.

Trading online is a piece of cake. All you do is enter the ticker symbol

and the number of shares that you want to buy. Uh -huh.

And then...

Voila! Wow!

That is something.

Yeah. Huh.

AQZ. What do they do?

What?

AQZ?

What the hell is AQZ?

Advanced Bowling Designs? I didn't want to buy that.

Well, you sure bought a lot of it.

5 ,250 shares.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no. That was supposed to be the total price, not the

number of... Sure.

Well, can't you just cancel the order?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

I'll sell it all really fast.

Yep.

What the

hell's the matter with this thing?

What does uh -oh mean?

It's, uh, it's 4 -0 -1.

The market just closed.

Uh -oh.

63rd and Madison.

63rd and Madison.

63rd and Madison.

63rd and Madison.

63rd and Madison.

Let's add another thousand.

Well, I don't know, Doc.

Flipping those cockamamies card did a real number on me. Oh, give it a rest.

You're fine.

And it's because Minestani's, not cockamamies.

Whatever. The point is, I think that I have a very viable workman's comp claim

here, or at the very least, a work things comp claim.

And if you force me to continue to do this heavy lifting against my will, I

have to file a grievance with the union.

Be a sport.

Let me knock off early, huh?

I chased those guys like you told me.

I valet parked their car.

I nicked the paint a little bit, but they'll never notice.

You have no idea what you did today, do you?

But then, how could you?

I don't give you newspapers, radio, television. Stop it, Doc. You're looking

me the same way my fifth grade teacher did before she told me I'd have to go to

summer school.

Mr. Wiseman, those men you thwarted today?

If they had succeeded in disrupting the upcoming peace talks, there would never

have been a hope of ending the civil war in Kazakhstan.

Your actions this morning may well have enhanced the prospects for world peace.

Well, hey, government -built guy's got to do what a government -built guy's got

to do.

Can I hit the showers, coach?

Yeah, sure.

Sorry to interrupt, sir, but we have a little situation.

What kind of situation?

Well, I didn't want to bother you about it.

But about two hours ago, our surveillance cameras picked up a

out front.

So? So we went to investigate, encouraged the civilian to leave, even

threats.

And?

And believe it or not, he refused.

Refused? I know. Believe me, we've been working on it.

But he said he won't leave until he's had a chance to talk to... Superman.

Oh, I have to meet him.

Ferguson. Jimmy Ferguson.

James Ferguson.

James DeWitt Ferguson.

And who sent you, Mr. Ferguson?

What do you mean?

No one sent me.

I was on a mission.

A mission?

Really?

And who do you work for?

No, I don't... I don't work for anybody.

You don't work for anybody.

Well...

Sometimes, Mr. Pawlowski, down at Dixie's, he lets me sweep up and stuff.

And he gives me free comic books.

Does that count?

That will be all.

You want to take off that blindfold, son?

Yes, ma 'am.

You know him?

Yeah, I've seen him.

That's why I came to find this place.

So I could see him again.

Why? What makes him so special?

Are you kidding?

That man there is a real -life superhero.

I don't know if he has a costume or a superhero -type name, but I've seen him.

And I know that man is a superhero.

I've been wanting to meet you all my life.

Wow.

You seem pretty certain.

Tell me, what is it exactly that makes you think that this man is a superhero?

I saw him catch those bad guys today.

I saw you flip over that car.

Is that true?

That sounds awfully amazing.

Are you sure you saw this man flip over a car?

Oh, yeah.

See, I was playing by the bacon factories, and I seen this missile

down the street, I was Nitro Man, and Dr. Diablo stripped me of my superhero

powers, and then out of nowhere, this car comes screeching around the corner,

and right behind it, keeping up with it was... Do you have a

name?

Michael. No.

No, I mean...

A superhero name.

Would you excuse my friends and me for a moment?

Do you know how he got here?

He indicated he took the subway.

I could interrogate him further if you'd like. No.

I think he's been interrogated quite enough.

I'd like to take him home in the limousine.

Take him home?

I don't understand. I mean, shouldn't we be reviewing options?

Options?

I think it's safe to say that James DeWitt Ferguson poses no threat to Mr.

Wiseman, this project, or our national security.

Oh, really?

Are you sure?

What exactly do you think's going on with the kid, Doc?

I suspect he suffers a cognitive dysfunction of some sort.

Mental illness.

You hear how he blurs things that actually happen with things he imagines?

He talks about comic book characters and missiles as vividly as he describes

seeing you flip over that car.

That's usually an indicator of some sort of dementia.

Perhaps schizophrenia.

He sees movies we can't get into.

He hears music that no one's written.

Not a superhero?

Not a superhero.

I'm a scientist.

Mr. Newman's in the insurance business.

We work together and do different kinds of safety testing.

Swimming pool accessories, exercise equipment.

This morning, we were doing automobile safety tests in what we thought was an

abandoned part of town.

You know, braking speeds, turning radius, cup holder, drink worthiness.

Part of our job was to see how much weight the roof of that car could

It may have looked like Mr. Newman flipped it under his own power, but

actually some pretty sophisticated hydraulics at work there.

Hey, the truth is, under the right conditions, the way we tricked that

out, you could have flipped that car.

Not a superhero.

And you know why?

Because there are no superheroes.

And deep down, you know that, right?

Superheroes aren't real.

There are no superheroes.

Miss Ferguson, I'm Dr. Theodore Morris.

Is everything all right? Is Jimmy in any trouble?

Jimmy, are you all right?

I'm fine.

I'll be in my room.

Please, come on in.

I'm sorry to show up unannounced. I know you have a lot going on.

Well, I was frowning. Jimmy never misses dinner.

I'm a nurse. What kind of doctor did you say you were?

Oh, research.

I do research.

In fact, I was doing some earlier today in this neighborhood.

That's when Jimmy first spotted us.

Well, I hope he didn't cause you any trouble.

Oh, no, no, no, not a bit.

The thing is, though... He took the subway and

followed us up to this facility we have on the east side.

He is not supposed to ride the train by himself.

Yeah, well...

Our security people got nervous.

And they tend to want to call the authorities at the drop of a hat. I

that's why I drove him home.

I'm afraid I might not be there the next time.

If you could say something to him. I mean, it's not like we don't want him

around. No, no, no, no. I understand. Like I said, he isn't even supposed to

taking the train by himself.

Well, I know you want to have your dinner.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Ferguson.

Goodbye, Jimmy.

I'm sorry. That's okay. I'll let myself out. Have a good night.

Yes, Joe Frimburg, please.

Roger Bender, he knows me.

Hey, Joe, long time no talk to you.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, listen, I need a favor. I was with a friend, well, a client,

really, and against my better judgment, I got bullied into trying one of those

online trading things.

You don't have to tell me, pal. You're preaching to the choir.

I was just... I was in a position where I couldn't say no. And now I can't get

to my computer because I'm stuck in traffic and I need you to dump a stock

me. Yeah.

Advanced bowling designs.

And don't even ask why... Come again?

It what? It... Who?

It did?

Did you say triple?

5 ,000 shares?

5 ,250 to be exact. Wow.

That's a major play, Bender. I'll say. That's almost $50 ,000.

Go, Bender.

Well, my friends, the market is no place for the faint of heart.

You go hard or you don't go at all.

Yeah, but, Roger.

Nobody had ever heard of AQZ until this morning when the buyout was announced.

How did you know to buy it yesterday?

Yeah, what is this? You get a little inside information?

Oh, no, no, no. Of course not. So how did you know?

Come on, Ben. Tell us your secret.

Uh, well, well, I, um... You what?

Got lucky?

No.

No, no, I...

I base all my investment decisions on a statistical model.

A statistical model? Yeah.

Something I devised in my spare time. It's very technical, of course. It's

highly technical. It'll take me hours to explain.

So I'll try to keep it simple.

Luck be a lady tonight.

Be a lady.

Damn it, Marcy. I told you to knock before... Oh, Greg.

Roger.

Working hard, I see. Actually, just clearing my head before tackling that

report. I'll get it to you, bud. At ease, Roger. This is a social call.

I just came by to congratulate you.

I guess you've heard.

How could I not? Everybody's talking about it.

Really?

How do these things get around, I wonder?

So what are we talking about here? You got an uncle on the board of directors?

What? A loose -lipped executive whose bride is best friends with your wife?

What are you implying here?

Implying? No, no, no. See, I'm not implying anything, no.

I am declaring, my friend, for the record, that you, sir, are no Malcolm

And what does that mean?

There's no way the Roger Bender that I know could have picked that stock.

Now, see, the only possible explanation is that that stock somehow picked him.

I resent that remark, Craig.

Oh, do you?

Do you know what it takes to really score in the market?

To really score in the market, it takes brains.

And it takes... And let's face it, old friend,

you're a little wanting in both areas.

Wouldn't you say?

No, actually, I wouldn't.

So what do you say?

Are you saying to me that you think you can do it again?

Of course I can do it again. Will do it again, in fact.

Have done it before, many times.

Not that that's any business of yours.

Not that I have anything to prove to you, but I've developed a statistical

model. Oh, yes.

Yes, I heard about that.

You know, I was an economics major.

Do you care to explain it to me?

Actually, I wouldn't.

The point is that AQZ is no fluke.

You're full of crap, Bender.

All right, I'll prove it to you.

This weekend, I'll plug some numbers into my model, and come Monday morning,

we'll just see who's full of what. So you're saying to me that first thing

Monday morning, you are going to have some stock tip for me?

Not a tip, Craig.

A certainty.

A sure thing.

Now, do you think you can handle it? Do you think you've got the brains?

Do you think you've got the stones to put your money where your mouth is?

You bring the tip.

I'll bring the rest.

Monday morning.

Monday morning.

Sweetie, where's your costume?

There's no such thing as superheroes, Mom.

You know that.

Deep down inside, you know that.

Well, Roger, what are you doing here at 8 o 'clock in the morning?

Lisa, I really need to talk to you. May I come in?

I don't understand. Why do you need me to call Joe Frumberg? Why can't you call

Joe Frumberg?

Well, we had a bit of a falling out.

Ever since he heard that I've been dabbling in online trading, he's been a

little cool towards me. Anyway, if you could see your way clear to making this

call, I would forever.

Roger, I am confused. I don't know what it is you want me to ask him.

I need a tip on the market.

You know, one of those stocks that's just waiting to happen. A sure thing.

A slam dunk.

One of those.

That's all. That's it. That's all.

Roger? Yeah?

What are you talking about?

What makes you think that he would give me a tip?

Why would he, for that matter, give a tip like that to anyone? What makes you

think he even has a tip like that? And isn't it against the law?

Oh, that doesn't matter.

But I wouldn't tell anyone.

Just... Craig Spence.

Just Craig Spence?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ever since I had that...

Little luck with that AQZ stock. He seems to have gotten the idea that I

knack for this kind of thing.

Kind of like an idiot savant.

Kind of like an idiot.

Come on, Roger, are you sure you want to perpetuate this myth?

You know, I don't see that I've got a whole lot of choice here. This man is in

my office three times a day.

Okay, Roger, this is really a crazy idea, but why don't you try the truth?

Craig, it was an accident, a happy accident, a fluke.

Well, you're right.

I mean, I know you're right. I know I have to go in there Monday morning and

tell him that I'm simply a nincompoop who pushed the wrong button and got

That there is no system, there is no model.

Uncle Roger, you're not simply a nincompoop.

Well, thank you, Heather. Coming from you, that's very...

What do you mean I was right the first time?

I mean, there is no model. There never was a model.

I haven't got the brains. You were right.

You were 100 % right.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Or more accurately, I know you.

Yes, you do.

And I'm a...

And I'm a fool.

Yes, you are.

Why didn't you just BS me?

I'm sorry?

Why didn't you just...

Hose me off.

Give me the name of some stock, any stock.

That would have been the stupid thing to do.

You do have a model, don't you?

No. That means yes.

That means no.

This is me, remember?

The chicken, the moron?

Yeah, nice try, Roger.

Come on.

Give it up.

I want my tip.

There is no tip.

There is no model, so there is no tip.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Then how do you explain AQZ?

You can't, can you?

And you want to know why you can't? Because there's a model, and you don't

to share it with anyone.

All right.

All right.

There's a model, and I'll tell you what it is. You figure out what you want, and

then you hit the wrong...

key. That's what happened to me. I hit the wrong key. I was trying to buy

something else, but I hit the wrong key. It was a fluke, Craig. The whole thing

was a complete colossal fluke.

I don't think so.

I don't know, Roger. I mean, I really thought that we made a great team.

Maybe you just aren't a team player.

Oh. Craig, I am the consummate team player.

I am the water boy, the equipment manager, and the groundskeeper all in

Then prove it, Roger.

Do your part for the team. Give me my tip.

I don't have... Yes, you do have. I know that you have, all right? You see, I am

smart. I'm scary smart, Roger.

Okay, so let's just cut right to it. All right, let's just cut right down to the

bottom line.

You got a pretty good deal here at Grand Empire, don't you think? Pretty cushy

time of it.

You could do a lot worse than this great company of ours, Roger.

A whole lot worse.

And you will.

Unless you tell me what that model of yours has to say. I want my pick, Roger,

and I want it now.

Well, of course I know that this is a great company. In

fact, I know that it's such a great company that...

Over the weekend, I plugged our numbers into my model, Grand Empire's. And

it, well, it just confirmed what I've known all along.

And that is? Grand Empire is an excellent investor.

Scratch that. A killer investment.

A gusher waiting to happen.

Grand Empire?

So... You are telling me to buy Grand Empire?

No, no, no, no, no, not me, no.

The model.

The model's telling you.

Ah, the glop du jour.

I wonder what today's will be.

Yellowish -orange, brownish -brown, or could it be... Oh,

greenish -gray, my favorite.

Yes, sir, I understand.

You can count on us, Mr. President.

Uh -oh.

I've seen that look before.

You usually get it right before I have to hang off someplace really high, take

some bullets in the gut, or outrun some traffic. Mr.

Wiseman... And you get that sound in your voice, too.

You can't fool me, Doc.

I'm definitely in for some wear and tear.

The Kizmenistani peace talks start in less than 24 hours. And once again,

there's a credible terrorist threat to disrupt them.

What are you talking about? I thought we already got those guys.

Apparently not.

The leader of the cell, a former Kizmenistani army officer by the name of

Kolov, is here in New York, gathering a new team to carry out the assault.

And it appears the men we apprehended the other day weren't in that

by accident.

They were there to purchase arms.

Specifically, surface -to -air missiles.

that they intend to fire at U .S. targets from within our own borders

talks are suspended.

Okay, no sweat.

Two of us will just run down there in the limo, we'll roll down the window,

anybody that walks by will say, Hi there, we're looking for the

missile dealer.

Any idea where we can find him?

I take your point, Mr. Wiseman.

But there's no time to get our surveillance operation up and running.

We just have to go down there and canvas the neighborhood.

Throw as many men at the problem as we can.

Hope we come up with something hope somebody saw something hope somebody

something

I

Don't know what to tell you sir I've got 40 men in the field, and we're coming

up completely negative.

Jimmy said he saw a missile.

I know it sounds far -fetched, but... Jimmy said a lot of things.

Jimmy sees a lot of things.

No, but don't you remember? He said that he was playing by those factories. He

said he saw me. He said he saw the car. He said he saw missiles.

Yeah, he said he saw Dr. Diablo.

He said he saw Nitro Man.

You sure you want to get him all stirred up again, Mr. Wiseman?

He's a person, you know.

I know.

Like me.

What are you doing here?

You want to get me in trouble?

I'm not supposed to bother you anymore.

I know, but I need your help.

Superhero to superhero.

No, I won't say that stuff.

I know I'm not a superhero.

You say anyone could have flipped over that car.

I know what I said, but you mentioned you saw some missiles.

I don't know what I saw.

I thought I saw you run as fast as a car.

Faster than Nigerman, right?

And I thought I saw you pick up some steel, really big, really heavy, and

in the road, right?

And I thought I saw you flip over that car, but deep down inside, I didn't see

any of that.

Right? Right?

Isn't that what all of you said?

That I didn't see any of that?

There are no superheroes.

Deep down inside, we all know that there are no superheroes.

So get away from me and get away from my door!

I knew it. I knew it.

You were protecting your secret identity all along.

That's why you don't have a costume.

And that's why you don't have a name.

Just Michael.

That way, no one will know.

That's smart.

You're going to fix that door before my mom gets home, right?

Doc? Consider it done, Mr. Wiseman.

Hey, Jimmy, who's your friend?

I got some Wonder Woman for him.

She's nice, huh?

You got a girlfriend?

I used to.

We don't get to see much of each other anymore.

Busy with that superhero stuff, huh?

You really think he knows what he's doing?

I have no idea.

I hear something.

Yeah.

Hey,

guys, right?

Right.

What are you going to do?

Are you going to wail on them now?

Oh, can I help?

Can I be your sidekick?

Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. You can be my sidekick.

In fact, I want you to be my lookout.

You know what a lookout is, right?

Yeah.

It means you have to stay up here and make sure no one sneaks up on me.

If you see anything or anybody, just scream.

Now, the key to this is you have to stay up here.

You don't leave here under any circumstances. Otherwise, someone might

Okay.

Don't you know this will kill you?

Oh, and by the way, so will this.

Hi.

Welcome to America.

What? You don't want to fight?

What kind of Russians are you?

You packing any dressing?

How about guns? You got any guns?

Yeah? All right, then give me your guns. Come on, give them to me.

Thank you.

Now, why don't you lie face first down on the floor here?

Why don't you lie down too?

Pretty big gun you have there.

What's that good for? 30, 40 rounds per second?

That's got to sting.

Yeah, I imagine it will.

Now you go down.

On the floor.

Face down, please.

The floor?

Is that what this is all about?

Wait, you mad at me because I made your guys lie down on the floor?

All right, guys, you can get up. It's okay.

You too.

He's baking it. I barely touched him.

Face down.

On the floor.

Please.

You okay?

Did you see this?

Do you have any idea how bad this looks?

I mean, yesterday I bought 10 ,000 shares of Grand Empire, and then today

announced the largest merger in insurance history?

I mean, I can't believe that Fitzgerald would make a move like this without

consulting with me.

You know, and I thought I was his go -to guy, okay? And then he does this?

Roger, this is awful.

How many shares did you buy?

Uh, me?

I didn't buy any.

Wait a minute. What do you mean you didn't buy any?

Oh.

Well, I didn't want to buy it, thereby unnecessarily inflate the price for you.

Oh. Oh, okay. Oh, well, thanks.

Okay. Sure.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So, wait. You're telling me that

I'm alone in this?

Hello? Oh, boy.

Uh, uh, uh, one second.

It's for you.

Yeah, what is it?

Who's here to see me?

A gentleman from the SEC.

I heard on TV that you're some kind of hero.

Heard that you busted up some domestic terrorists.

Yeah.

Well, I'd had help.

That's not the way I heard it.

So they taking good care of you here?

Pretty good.

My mom is a nurse here.

I thought I wasn't going to see you again.

Am I going to see you again?

I mean, can we still be friends?

Well, that's what I came to talk to you about.

I mean, come on, Jimmy. You know the deal with secret identities.

Heck, you know better than almost anyone I've ever met.

Yeah, I do.

And don't worry.

Your secret identity is safe with me.

I know.

Hey, you remember you were talking about your girlfriend?

And how you don't see her anymore?

That's the way it has to be.

You're Superman.

Superman doesn't get Lois Lane.

Oh, yeah?

What does Superman get?

He gets... to be Superman.

Hang on.