Original subtitles

Well, Bull's been at it for two hours. That is, two hours of uninterrupted

drawing. Actually, it's only been 90 minutes, sir. Oh, yeah, he did lose a

hour getting the crayon box open.

Well,

we certainly seem to enjoy his work.

That or it's one of those Flintstones flashbacks.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Bull.

Bull, Bull, Bull, Bull, Bull, what the heck have you been sketching, you big

post -impressionist lugget?

It's a cover illustration for the book I've written.

The man wrote a book?

Elephant idea.

Manhattan City College is having a children's book contest.

All the entries are going to be judged by school kids.

How old are these kids, Bull?

Eight, nine.

Somehow the idea of writing for tiny little undeveloped minds seems right for

me.

I don't think we need to embellish on that.

The winner, whomever that tall, shaven -headed man or woman

might be, gets a publishing contract.

Hey, so what did you draw for the cover?

A little ducky? Oh, I love little duckies. There's Daffy and Daisy and

and... Dr.

Death.

Three were right.

About what, Bull? It could be so many things.

My cover drawing was all wrong, so I drew a new one.

Well, let's have a look.

What do you think?

Well, Bull, now, I'm no historian, but I don't think that Duck took part in the

ancient Roman orgies.

Those suckers sure look happy, don't they?

Lady, I'm a normal American male.

You're three normal American males.

What's our problem here? I was violated. Hey, I was just checking our pipes.

Matt? He's with the gas company, sir.

Peeping Tom charge.

And the lady is?

The pee -pee.

claims he was merely trying to check Miss Brody's meter when she, quote,

her soapy, nude, glistening body at me.

Read that back to me.

Man.

You saved me a copy.

Yeah, I know. I swear.

This woman was bouncing.

She's shimmying.

She even threw me one of these.

Let the record show. that the defendant did pelvic things.

This is outrageous.

He had his nose pressed up against my window.

Yeah, well, why don't you tell him what you had pressed up against it?

All right, people.

What I've got here, I've got no evidence. I've got no corroborating

I don't even have any suggestion of criminal intent. So I would like to

this one off as an unfortunate incident. That is, if, uh... Mr. Dobbs here can

assure the court that he has no past history of unusual sexual behavior?

My wife's from the old school.

And you promise to try to keep your eyes on your job?

I'll do my best.

Best.

That's all we can ask. Case dismissed.

That's it?

Well, it was fun while it lasted, though, huh?

Well...

no place for propriety in this day and age. Goodbye.

Do you

have

the time?

Time for what?

You know, I've been undressing you with my eyes.

Lucky for me, I've got clean shorts on.

Ever fool around at work?

No. I mean, that is, not with another person.

Warm, Dan.

Are you warm?

Let's find some place where we can be.

Alone.

Now.

Now?

No, well, no, I can't now. I've got a job. I've got responsibilities.

I've got fresh batteries in my briefcase.

You stand right there. Do not move a nerve.

Is this free?

urgent personal nature have arisen and regrettably forced me to ask for a

Fact or money, Dan?

Oh, I'm hurt.

Oh, I'm offended.

Did you jump to such an assumption?

Has it ever occurred to you I could be in the midst of a dire personal tragedy?

Sex.

Dan, give your appliances the afternoon off.

Shannon.

Yep.

I am Sidney Shook, professor of literature at Manhattan City College. I

charge of the children's book contest. Did you get my entry?

Oh, yes.

It was the most vile, offensive, nauseatingly horrid collection of

have ever seen put to paper.

Did I win?

Excuse me, guys. What's going on?

Sir, Mr. Shoup critiqued my children's book. It was ghastly, nightmarish,

apocalyptic.

Did he win?

Excuse me.

Bull Shannon is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man I know. I cannot believe

that he would write... Puff, the flesh -eating dragon?

Needless to say... our kiddie panel of judges has been wrapped with nightmares.

Little Stevie actually strangled his imaginary friend.

You are a disgrace.

You're a menace. You're a monster.

Did he win?

Well, in view of these circumstances, I guess it would really be proper for us

to call... Yes?

A short... Yes?

might say, if you'll excuse me, I have an imaginary funeral to attend.

Well, maybe this story wasn't such a good idea.

You mean you really think it's scary for kids?

Kids, adults, dead people.

What? I didn't mean to scare anyone.

Well, we all know what a big heart you have and what a swell guy you are, and

that's why it's our job to let you know that...

Flaming toddlers is wrong.

So what everybody is saying is that I scared little kids.

Little defenseless kids.

What a low, sick, rotten thing to do.

It's true.

I am a monster.

I guess we're going to have to feel our way around.

Let the games begin.

You ever do this before?

You touch me, we touch each other.

about the parakeets, huh?

I'll never use my blender again.

Well, you gotta admit, he's got a certain kind of flair. It's kind of like

Mother Goose meets the Terminator.

Yeah.

Your Honor. Mac, any news about Bull?

Yep. He was just taken to the hospital.

What? He was just taken to the hospital.

Apparently, he started shouting something about how he scared innocent

Then he exploded. in a blind rage and destroy that corridor wall.

What goes through that man's head?

Apparently not concrete or steel.

and he shouldn't be allowed to be around normal people, that he should be in a

cave or something.

Let's hit all his regular haunts. I'll check out his apartment. I'll check up

the roof.

I'll check every bar, disco, and singles joint in the city.

Who doesn't hang out in those kinds of places?

You go check where you want, and I'll go check where I want.

Use this.

Oh, Danny, can't you forgive a girl a little?

A little?

For what? Taking me to the peak of ecstasy and then leave me dangling?

Please, Dan, give me a second chance.

Ha!

Give me one good reason why I should give you a second chance.

Okay, well, thank you.

Bull's not at the amusement park.

They miss him, though.

He's the most popular ride they got.

Bully the dragon looked like something out of our world, an extinct creature

from another time.

That's it.

That's what? Read that again.

Bully the dragon looked like something out of our world, an extinct creature

from another time.

Bully the dragon.

Bull the dragon.

And so, Bully the dragon went off to be with others of his kind at the dragon

jamboree.

See you later.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the dragon jamboree.

Not the small... Occipital. Thank you.

Anything else?

Yes. Please don't kill us.

Okay.

Let's go, Jimmy.

Homo sapiens, huh?

Sometimes I wish I was made of stone, too.

These, uh, friends of yours?

In a way.

Whenever I need somebody to talk to really bad, I come down here and rap

the statues.

Do they ever answer you?

I'm tormented, Harry, not crazy.

Well, listen, I know that you've been through a wall.

work this out, Guy. We always do.

What's there to work out?

I'm a monster, and I might as well learn to live with it.

Is he always like this?

Don't answer that.

Bull, now for one thing, who ever said you were a monster?

Look at me, Harry.

I didn't even have to dress up for Halloween as a kid.

They'd say, great mask.

Let me guess.

Frankenstein, Phantom of the Opera?

Kids can be cruel. This was my family.

Well, sit down, huh? Come on.

Come on.

Now, believe it or not, I really do understand how you feel.

No, you don't. Yeah, I was what you'd call a lonely kind of kid. I was never

invited to the cool parties.

Nobody asked me to join the popular clubs.

Well, I won up on you there.

I was asked to join the most popular club in high school.

Really? Yeah.

Eight of us were selected to go through the initiation.

And all we had to do to join was shave our heads before he

showed up for the junior prom.

So I did.

And when I walked into the gym, To meet my date.

You were the only one who'd shaved his head.

I was only 16, Harry.

And sure myself.

Worried like most adolescents about the way I looked anyway.

And there I stood.

Humiliated.

In front of what was for me at the time.

The whole world.

And then I wanted to kill them.

Just like Bully the Dragon?

Yeah. Only I didn't live happily ever after.

Somebody swiped his lunch?

Yeah.

A long time ago.

You can't have my tuna sandwich, mister.

Go away, kid, will ya?

Yeah.

crazy about that smelly fish either.

Say, listen, kid.

I'm sorry.

I appreciate the offer, but I gotta eat out of a feed bag until he's healed.

See, when he gets hungry, he just has to lean over and gobble up with a little

brontosaurus.

Brontosaurus just ate plants.

You're kidding.

No, it's true.

Besides, if he ate up all those guys, he wouldn't have anybody to play with.

Why would he want to play with them?

Maybe because he was lonely.

You think so?

Yeah.

But I guess it really didn't matter.

They were afraid to play with him anyway.

Oh, you must have been very sad.

I sure was.

You're not a monster.

leave the nice man with the plaster hands alone.

He's great, Mom.

He knows everything.

Is he drunk?

Well, then, he must be.

That's right, ma 'am.

I'm a bailiff.

You'll excuse us. We have to run for our lives.

I understand.

Bye, mister.

Bye, kid.

You know, Bull, I don't think that kid is ever going to look a dinosaur or

even people in quite the same way again.

What do you mean?

You showed him something.

That you can't judge a book by its cover.

Did you make that up?

Yes.

Thanks, Harry. No thanks necessary, Bull. We're both... Buddies, right? And

buddies take care of each other whenever they can.

Then you'll always be there when I need you? You betcha, Bull.

Always.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Hi,

guys. Hi.

Hiya, big guy. Welcome back.

I sure missed you, Bull.

Thanks.

Guess what?

What? I did some more writing.

Well, Bull, how... How did you write it with your hands and caps?

I stuck the pencil up my nostril.

Well, couldn't you have just put the pencil in between your teeth?

After it had been in my nose?

Well, why don't you read to us what you wrote?

Okie dokie.

This is an introductory poem from the book I wrote.

Some monsters roar and shake the ground with fury.

as they tread.

But I never actually met a beast who truly wished me dead.

Oh, sure, their ugly faces and steely eyes can scare, but they never seem to

more mean than the ferocious teddy bear.

So I guess it's true, like the covers of the book, of the story, it's only a

part. But the monster's face never gives you a clue to the love at any part.

Bull Shannon just showed up.

Thanks. What are you going to call your book?

The Snake Pit of Chucky's Mind.

We'll work on titles next.

Your Honor, Your Honor, you better come here, sir. What's that? Come on, come

on. We gotta find Dan.

Remember that woman he was with?

Miriam Brody? Yeah, her psychiatrist just called. What?

Her psychiatrist just called.

Apparently, she's suffering from a split personality disorder.

She can be very deceptive. Oh, come on now. I know Dan fell for it twice, but I

don't...