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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,469 --> 00:00:05,469 Hello? 2 00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:09,250 Remember me, Mrs. Lund? Sure, you're the lady with the adoption agency. 3 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,190 Juvenile Services Bureau. 4 00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:15,390 I'm the one who had to determine Judge Stone's fitness as a potential foster 5 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,870 parent. Leon! 6 00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:22,430 Prepare to die. 7 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:28,170 You know the old saying, spare the oozy, spoil the child. 8 00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:36,470 Judge Stone, look who's here. 9 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,990 Hey, hey, Mrs. Lund. 10 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,270 Nah. 11 00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:41,690 How the hell are you? 12 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:43,910 I'm just fine, Judge Stone. Doctor! 13 00:00:47,310 --> 00:00:47,810 Gotta 14 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:54,770 run. 15 00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:56,010 Sesame Street's on. 16 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,470 My dead meat, Leon! 17 00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:02,370 Sorry, Mrs. Lund, we were just fooling around. 18 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,640 Boys will be boys. 19 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,720 Have a seat, huh? 20 00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:08,780 Can we get you anything? Coffee? Tea? 21 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,240 Squeegee? 22 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,280 No, thank you. 23 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:19,820 I only came by for a moment to tell you the good news. What's the good news? 24 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,960 We have found adoptive parents for Leon. 25 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:31,470 I hope you don't mind, Judge Stone, but I've invited the prospective parents to 26 00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:33,550 come by tonight to meet Leon during your break. 27 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,690 Gee, that's swell. 28 00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:45,350 Would you excuse me? I think I'm experiencing a lip seizure. 29 00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:48,410 Right. 30 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:49,670 Excuse us. 31 00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:50,850 Certainly. 32 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,720 I guess that leaves just you and me. 33 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:02,730 Hey, hey, put a sock in it. This is a public restroom. 34 00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,790 Now I let me down to sleep. 35 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:10,010 What's your problem? 36 00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:15,990 Moi? I have not one problem. This is a great jacket. Don't touch me. 37 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,930 Bad head. Bad, bad, naughty head. 38 00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:20,230 You're crazy. 39 00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:22,280 Yes. Everybody says so. 40 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:24,800 You're very observant. Thanks for telling me. 41 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,540 And stay out! 42 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,020 Oh, my God! 43 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,100 You melted me! 44 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:45,500 I can't believe it. I don't know what to say. 45 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:47,500 You're a fan. Me? 46 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:48,860 No. 47 00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:53,630 My judges... Oh, my God. 48 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:56,790 If I could introduce you to it, it would be the suck -up coup of the century. 49 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:58,010 Harry would love me forever. 50 00:03:58,510 --> 00:03:59,510 Oh, wait, no, please. 51 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:00,970 Allow me to do that. 52 00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:04,490 Prevents chafing. 53 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:15,950 Well, as fun as this has been, you'll have to excuse me. 54 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,349 No, wait, please, please. 55 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,790 Don't go, don't go. I need you. 56 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,270 That is wonderful material. 57 00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:32,370 Now, look, I'd love to meet your friend, okay, but I've had some things stolen 58 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:35,730 out of my dressing room. I've got to be in front of Judge Klein in about 20 59 00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:37,010 minutes. No, wait, please, you don't understand. 60 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,770 Harry worships you. 61 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,610 Just tell me where you're going to be. I'll bring him to you. 62 00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:45,370 Move. 63 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,330 Thank you. 64 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:51,210 Hey, in the cafeteria. Great. 65 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,380 Mel, you're beautiful. I love you. You'll never change. 66 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,540 Don't let the geek in the penguin suit out of your sight. 67 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,760 Let me rephrase that. 68 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,640 ever going to see you laugh again, sir? 69 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:37,380 Well, I don't think it's anything physiological. I think I just got the 70 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,380 -fashioned blues. 71 00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:41,960 Well, you knew Leon was going to be adopted someday. 72 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:46,320 Yeah, I knew it, but why the hell did it have to be so quick? 73 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,820 The kid's been up for grabs for 12 years. 74 00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:55,280 And I get him, and three weeks later, boom, it's Mr. and Mrs. Mommy and Daddy. 75 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,760 Wasn't that what we were all hoping for, sir? 76 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,100 Yeah, yeah, it's what we were all hoping for. 77 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,620 Ready to start, fool! 78 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:17,180 Thank you, Bull. 79 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,000 I knew I should have gone with Tina Turner. 80 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,340 Well, if you don't mind, Miss Sullivan. 81 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,900 Yeah, I understand. 82 00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:49,040 Ben, if there will be nothing else, sir. 83 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,760 Excuse me, Mr. 84 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,420 Torme. I hate to be a bother, but this would really mean a lot to me because 85 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,420 such a big fan. 86 00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,060 Oh, what can I do for you? Do you know Prince? 87 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:10,480 No. Forget it. 88 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,480 to get you, sir? Just waiting to get a drink, Mac. Oh. 89 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,880 Wouldn't you know, it's one of those jerks who hogs the thing forever. 90 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,540 Uh -huh. I mean that. 91 00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:38,940 That's right. 92 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,360 Leave any for me? 93 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,720 Yeah, same to you, Bozo. 94 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,660 Oh, look at that. He's slobbered all over. 95 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,720 A $50 fine and suspended sentence. 96 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,280 And Mr. 97 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,840 and Mrs. Sullivan, for your own protection, try to... 98 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,860 the stables in Central Park during mating season. 99 00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:03,860 Hey, Eric. 100 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:06,940 Hey, Leon. 101 00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:10,880 I was wondering if I could have a couple of bucks to go to the movies. 102 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,120 Sure, what's the plan? 103 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,500 Massacre at Hacksaw High and I Dismember Mama. 104 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:19,120 Whoa, there's got to be something in here suitable for kids. 105 00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:21,320 There you go, Bambi. 106 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,960 Goddess of Lust. 107 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,200 I gotta tell you something. 108 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:39,340 Yes? 109 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:47,520 Leon, you got... You got a beautiful pair 110 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,780 of eyes. Did you know that? 111 00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:51,580 Yeah, thanks. 112 00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:53,460 They were a set. 113 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:55,920 They were a set! 114 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,280 Is he precious or what? 115 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,640 Okay, he's no Richard Pryor, but... 116 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,700 have to talk to you. Would you wait in my office? We'll have dinner, huh? 117 00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:11,940 Sure, Harry. 118 00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,540 Oh, can I play with your dad, Armadillo? 119 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,800 Oh, yeah, have a ball. 120 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:27,540 Okay, that's time to strap on the feed bags, folks. We'll take an hour, huh? 121 00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,140 Sir? 122 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,120 Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go tell him. 123 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,540 You know, you know, he likes you a lot better than... No! 124 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,090 You know, if I'd had time to prepare... Hey, Harry! 125 00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:51,650 What is it, Bull? 126 00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:54,430 Never mind. 127 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:07,950 Forget it, Mark. 128 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,350 Nothing will cheer him up today. 129 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:18,930 I'll open that for you. 130 00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:20,730 No, no, I can handle it. 131 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:25,110 It's stuck. 132 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:29,470 Sir, you have to be strong for Leon's sake. 133 00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:30,790 You got any suggestions? 134 00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:33,770 Yeah. Put on a happy face. 135 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:43,330 You carry those things around with you? 136 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:48,070 Yes. Just for emergencies like... This. 137 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,220 I'd like you to meet Judge Stone. 138 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,060 Hello. Hi. 139 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,320 Hi. 140 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,300 Leon, 141 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,620 I was going to tell you, I swear, buddy, but I never had a chance. 142 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,960 They're nerds. 143 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,900 Leon, you just met them. 144 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:50,340 What's this? 145 00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:53,820 A nerd. 146 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:54,980 Mr. Johnson. 147 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,600 Well, I don't see why not. 148 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,500 Oh, my God. 149 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,420 Have I made a faux pas? 150 00:12:09,180 --> 00:12:10,480 Say what, Jack? 151 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,240 Who's Jack? 152 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,080 Dudley. Who's Dudley? I am. I don't want to hear no more of this. 153 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,560 Mr. Johnson is in raw sewage. 154 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,960 of one of the largest treatment facilities in the tri -state area. 155 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,140 modest, Dudley. 156 00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:34,080 This man is personally responsible for over four million tons of raw sewage a 157 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,080 day. 158 00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:38,100 What the heck you been feeding him? 159 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:47,640 No, no, no, Leon. I coordinate operations for treatment and disposal. 160 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,940 Oh, you mean you shovel... 161 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,880 See what I tell you, huh? 162 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,980 Great, we can drop by the sporting goods store this afternoon and pick up a bat 163 00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:02,980 and a puck. 164 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,600 That's a bat and a ball. 165 00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,420 Oh, dear me. 166 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,740 I just hate to break up all this fun. 167 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:18,620 But we really should be going. 168 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,620 Mrs. Lund, how long will Leon be staying with me? 169 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,520 Oh, no, Judge Stone, I'm afraid you don't understand. 170 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:29,800 Leon is coming with us. 171 00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:32,620 You mean that's it? 172 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,800 He gets adopted just like that? 173 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,040 Oh, no, no, no. 174 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,280 First there'll be family encounter sessions, support groups, weekend 175 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:43,980 But in the meantime, Leon will be living at the shelter. 176 00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:47,820 From our experience, we've found that it makes for an easier transition. 177 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,360 Well, time to go. 178 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,820 Harry! Knock him dead, Leon. 179 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,780 Show him what a great son is like. 180 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,440 Mom? 181 00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:18,860 Dad? 182 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,300 I'm ready to go. 183 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,720 Did you know, Leon, the ancient Romans built the first modern sewage 184 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,720 transportation system? 185 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,220 Deadly wrote an article about it. The flush heard round the world. 186 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,700 Judge Stone, sometimes it's easier this way. 187 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,420 Oh, yeah, that was a breeze. 188 00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,460 Speak to me, Mel. 189 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:10,940 I need you. 190 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,420 I need somebody. 191 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:25,880 Excuse me. I need somebody. I got these two lunatics chasing me. 192 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,880 Hello? 193 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,220 Hello? 194 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,160 Everybody here is nuts. 195 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:39,400 Oh, excuse me. I didn't think you heard me. 196 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,440 Never mind. 197 00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:45,580 I said yes. 198 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,180 Oh, for Pete's sake. 199 00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:50,420 Come here. 200 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:56,880 If you need something, why don't you just... Come in. 201 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:04,020 Yeah. Your Honor, Leon's gone. Call me back. 202 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,080 He ran away from Mrs. London, that couple. 203 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:07,860 that was going to happen. 204 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,200 Come on. 205 00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,280 Excuse me, I didn't mean to... 206 00:16:44,649 --> 00:16:45,730 I mean it. 207 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,050 Any sign of Harry? 208 00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:54,570 Not yet. 209 00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:58,110 Mac, I'm so worried. Nobody's heard from him since yesterday. 210 00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:02,070 As long as that kid's missing, Harry will search for him till he drops. 211 00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,980 He almost made it to the door. 212 00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:15,579 How long do you think he was laying there? 213 00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:16,859 I don't know. 214 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,920 But these footprints look fresh. 215 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:34,920 You may be seated. 216 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:43,400 Ugly looking bunch, huh, Mac? 217 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,720 Sir, I canceled the session. 218 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,940 Oh. Sir, look, why don't you go back in your office, get a little more sleep. 219 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,260 The police will call if they find him. 220 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,140 I can't sleep, Mac. I keep having this dream of people walking all over me. 221 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:04,800 Want to talk about it? 222 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,680 Over me. 223 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:28,920 Come on. 224 00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:33,220 Hi, Harry. 225 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,880 You look like raw sewage. 226 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,740 Don't come any closer. 227 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,200 If you do, I'll take off again. 228 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,260 Where you been, Leon? 229 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,320 Here and there. 230 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,680 You don't have to worry about me. 231 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,360 I do worry about you, Leon. 232 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,680 You know I worry about you. 233 00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,480 Yeah, I know. 234 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,840 I heard through the grapevine you were looking for me last night. 235 00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:07,320 What are you, crazy, walking around these streets by yourself? 236 00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:13,600 Why don't you come on in? I'll have a bite. Maybe we could talk. 237 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,400 Don't come any closer. 238 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:19,680 You know once I get out this door, you'll never be able to catch me. 239 00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:21,540 Yeah, I know. 240 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,920 I just came by to tell you. 241 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,880 To tell you thanks for letting me crash with you for a while. 242 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,440 Not to get discouraged because there's nothing you people can do with somebody 243 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:39,440 like me. 244 00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:40,740 You're wrong, Leon. 245 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,200 There is stuff we can do for you. 246 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,180 Like? Like we got your parents, right? 247 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,120 A bat and a puck. 248 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,500 Okay, so they're geeks. 249 00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:57,870 But they're nice geek. 250 00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:03,210 Maybe with a little care, a little understanding from you, they would have 251 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:04,630 turned out fine. 252 00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:06,870 They wanted to try, Leon. 253 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,190 You never gave them a chance. 254 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:12,910 I guess that's why they call me incorrigated. 255 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,450 Incorrigible. That's the word. 256 00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:20,850 I don't think you're incorrigible, Leon. 257 00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:24,630 Harry, you got a lot to learn. 258 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,700 I had to go. Where are you going to go? 259 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,120 California. 260 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:31,840 L .A. 261 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,740 Maybe I can get serious. 262 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,940 Gary Coleman must be getting pretty close to retirement by now. 263 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:40,840 Don't go. 264 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,600 We will work something out. 265 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:47,940 There's nothing to work out. Yeah, there's something to work out. It's what 266 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,360 want and you know it. 267 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,379 Says who? 268 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,380 Says me. 269 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,500 You came back, right? So you must have had a reason. 270 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,420 Yeah, I had a reason. 271 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,500 But it's stupid. 272 00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:05,580 Tell me. 273 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:12,240 I thought... I thought maybe I could keep staying with you. 274 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,300 Leon. I told you it was stupid. 275 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:18,620 It's not stupid. 276 00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,039 Isn't it? 277 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,040 No. 278 00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:30,990 But it's not... It's not what's best for you. 279 00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:36,290 What's best for you is a family that's got a father and a mother, and that's 280 00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:39,530 something that I can't offer to you, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to 281 00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:40,530 offer you that. 282 00:21:41,830 --> 00:21:47,830 But I did hope that... we'd always be friends. 283 00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,530 I wish you could always have been my father. 284 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,160 Leon? 285 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:40,640 Everybody's gone away Said they're leaving for 286 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:41,740 L .A. 287 00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:47,660 There's not a soul I know around 288 00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:54,280 Everybody's leaving town 289 00:22:54,280 --> 00:23:01,240 Some gotta win, some gotta lose 290 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:10,150 Good time Charlie's got the glue. 291 00:23:16,530 --> 00:23:20,650 Good time Charlie's got the glue. 20806

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