All language subtitles for The President Show s01e03 Linda Sarsour

Ladies and gentlemen, the 45th and final
president of the United States.

Good evening.

Good evening.

What a week this was for me.

I have to talk about the big story, the
thing that is on everybody's mind.

Mother's Day.

It's this Sunday. So go home. Spend some
time with your mother.

Unplug your TV and throw your phone in
the toilet. That's the show. Thank you

much. Good night. Mr. President, can you
comment on the timing of your decision

to fire James Comey? I don't know the
timing during Judge Judy.

Yesterday, the White House. said you
were acting on Deputy Attorney General

Rosenstein's advice.

Today you're saying it was your
decision. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm

answer you.

It was totally my decision.

But it was 100 % Rod Rosenstein's fault.

Blame him. Thank me. And you're welcome.

You again? Do you really expect us to
believe you fired Comey because he was

unfair to Hillary Clinton?

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's why.

She had it so rough between balancing
Parkinson's disease and... It's true.

true, folks.

It's true.

And managing Pizzagate, Crooked Hillary
deserves a break.

Plus, she's a mother.

And that's our theme tonight. And the
only thing I want to talk about.

Mother!

And I add one of the best ones, Mary
Trump, a woman you might remember

outside of the key foods in Hollis,
Queens.

I love my mother so much that I put her
in one of my incredible apartment

complexes. I call it my mother complex.

And it's still there to this very day.

Donnie, Donnie, me boy.

Why don't you tell the truth?

Mother, is that you?

The walls are closing in, Johnny. We all
know what you did with the Russians.

Shut up!

We didn't say anything.

Okay, well, good. Keep it that way.

Comey's out and mothers are in. I'm the
president. Can you believe it?

Let's roll!

My friends, everybody.

My friends.

My friends.

Well, thank you so much.

Tremendous.

Tremendous. Welcome to The President
Show.

Later on, we'll be talking to co
-founder of the Women's March on

Linda Sarsour.

I can't figure out why she agreed to do
the show, but maybe she'll tell me.

Now, Mike.

I hope you remembered that it's Mother's
Day this weekend.

You know, sir, I don't know if you know
this, but I actually call my wife

Mother.

You know, I have my mother, who's my
mother, and then my wife, who I just

her Mother. Okay.

That's gross, Mike. Just stop talking
about this.

Okie dokie. God damn it!

Oh, no.

Sir, is that what I think it is? Yes,
it's a pile of silk neckties that I got

from Moscow. Now, quick, we gotta throw
something over them. Oh, no.

You mean you want me to help you cover
up your Russian ties?

Yeah, Mike.

Yes.

You've got to help me cover up my
Russian ties.

But, sir, sir, they're dirty, and one of
us needs to keep our hands clean. Mike,

we agreed. When I made you vice
president, you said if anybody started

at my Russian ties, you'd help me cover
them up. Well, I didn't know it would be

like this.

Enough with the choir boy bull.

This choir boy bull.

Help get you elected.

Listen, you gotta hide these before the
agents from the Fashion Boys Institute

get here.

That's right.

The FBI.

If the FBI finds my Russian ties,
they'll start asking about Ivanka's

companies. What? Her shell company? Her
seashell companies, Mike.

She sells seashells down by the
seashore.

It's a cash business, and I can't have
the IRS finding out about that.

Right. The International Respecters of
Shellfish. No, you dummy. The Internal

Revenue Service. Oh, right. Take care of
it. You got it, sir. Okay.

Boy, oh boy, Mike.

You won't know.

You will never know what I've done.

The messes I've made.

The compromises that I've compromised.

This whole thing goes a lot deeper than
just Russian ties.

Oh my God, I'm doing a TV show.

Everybody knows I'm a successful
businessman and a totally legitimate

of the United States.

But let's not forget, I'm also a
friendless old guy who likes to scream

TV.

So here's a new segment called Screaming
at the TV!

Okay, let's see what I'm going to scream
at today.

Let's just get your reaction, first of
all, to the firing of Jim Comey, the way

it was done, and the timing of when it
was done.

Well, for a guy who likes to claim how
classy he is, President Trump really did

it in a low -class way.

Low -class?

I'm the most classy. I was going to take
a dump in a Ziploc bag and throw it

over Comey's fence.

But I didn't. I didn't. The crooked
media won't even report that.

Time to click the clicker. It's a
grotesque abuse of power by the

the United States. This is the kind of
thing that goes on in non -democracies.

Wrong.

Totally wrong.

How is this not a democracy?

Toobin, I swear, I'm going to tell my
assistant, who's also my daughter, to

my personal security guy, who's also my
government security guy, to throw you in

a private prison run by my campaign
donors.

Non -democratic my ass.

Good for you.

What's another piece of trash I can't
stop watching?

One aide reportedly tells Politico that
President Trump even screamed at some of

the TV reports. He's furious. He's
yelling at the TV. He yells at the TV.

the president would scream at the
television.

I'm not going to give them the
satisfaction.

I'm not going to give them the
satisfaction.

Well done, sir.

More TV.

Ping.

I'm sorry. No, no, no. He's the attorney
general. No, no, no. You interrupted

me. I will finish my point. This is not
about. Mr. Cuccinelli. No, no, no.

You're getting my point.

You know what? I don't like it either. I
don't want to do it. You want to

interrupt me? I'll interrupt you. Let's
do it. This is fun, Mark. Let's yell at

each other.

Everybody do it. Everybody do it. I
don't want to do it. You do it. Let's do

Everyone at home. Everyone at home.
Scream to your TV.

Never stop screaming.

I'm mad as hell. And we'll be right
back.

welcome back everybody's asking me why i
fired james comey which means it's a

great day for a photo op with kids take
a look

Wow. Unbelievable.

What an incredible crowd. What great
little kids.

I wanted to come here because education
is so important.

And we want to make sure that school is
good for you. We think you guys can go

without lunch. You don't need lunch. You
know you don't need lunch.

And we want to shorten the school day
because we can't afford to fund the

schools. All right. Great. All right.
Well, such fun. Wonderful kids.

Okay, Bridget, I'm done. Let's go.

Thank you so much.

Wonderful time. Great time. Sir,
remember you're supposed to read to the

All right, let's read this.

This is an incredible book called The
Art of the Deal.

I filmed this book cover in a forest.

Look at that guy. So handsome.

I called.

Ivan Boski.

Boski's an arbitrageur. My idea is to
hire Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager. You

guys know who they are. The creators of
Studio 54 and the Palladium.

What is it, kid?

Who are they?

They are incredible real estate guys who
own Studio 54, and that's a place where

you could do anything.

Yeah, what the heck is that? Fake
children.

Fake children. Fake children.

Play with the kids?

Yeah, they're fun.

What's fun about them?

Now, first off, you're the foreman,
okay?

You're the chief electrician. Now, this
is the contractor, okay?

Now, this guy, he's going to want to
take a kickback for everything you do.

Now, bring me three yellow ones.

The yellows are the illegals that we
hire to do the job that the guys that

at the conference.

And that's the way to treat an illegal,
just throw them right on them.

So these guys are going to do the work.
The foreman's going to get a kickback,

but he's going to have to pay the mob
guys. Now, the mob guys, they talk to

okay? Only me.

This is what's so much fun about
building. Are you kidding me? Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Let's build it bigger.

But this is fine. We can claim insurance
on that. See, now, we can just claim a

bankruptcy against the construction
cost.

Then we can sue to lower the cost, make
$40 million off a building we don't even

build. Then take my name and just slap
it on the front of this building. We

don't even need to construct it. And
that's how business works.

Now, I'm thinking about creating a mass
deportation program where we're going to

take people who are illegal immigrants,
separate them from their families, and

ship them to other countries. What do
you think of that?

No, don't do that. You couldn't take
them away from their parents?

What do I do about that?

Well, you could just keep them here.
Sir, do you want to go, or are you...

Excuse me?

Mike, get out of here.

Where may he be?

Sorry, sir. Sorry.

Unbelievable.

You know, you got to have a best friend,
right? Boy, they can get on your

nerves. You know what I mean?

Mike's always like, sir, this, sir,
that. Oh, sir, don't do that. Sir, sir,

your pants up. Sir, can I?

All right, good.

Maybe you'll take the note.

Anyway, I want to give you a friendship
bracelet that I've made for you.

Annabelle, I give you this friendship
bracelet because you're now my new best

friend and my only best friend in the
world.

Everybody else,

including the last person I was talking
to, is no longer my best friend.

Yes, sir.

Red light, green light. One, two, three.
Red light!

Green light.

Red light!

Watch it, kid.

There we go.

Sir,

we have to get going.

What? We have to get going, sir. I don't
want to go. I know, but it's time to

go. I don't want to go. It's time to go.
I don't want to go. It's time to go. I

don't want to go.

I know you're having fun, but it's time
to go. Come on. Let's go.

Let's go.

Give the ball to someone else.

Give the ball to someone else.

Give the ball to someone else. Mr.

President, give the ball to someone
else.

Give it to someone else.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. We have to talk to the
president of Argentina.

Let's go.

We have to talk to the president of
Argentina.

see that. That didn't happen. Thank you
very much.

Bye!

See? You didn't think about calling me
for five minutes.

We'll be right back!

They were down 7 .5 points. And I won. I
won so big.

I'm here at beautiful Mar -a -Lago.

Look at it.

My guest tonight is a Palestinian
-American activist, co -chair of the

March on Washington. Didn't like that.

And co -founder of Empower Change.
Please welcome Linda Sarsour.

Linda, how do you balance being a Muslim
and being a feminist? Because they're

two totally separate things. They're not
connected at all.

My body's connected.

My arms are connected to my shoulders.

Absolutely can be a Muslim and a
feminist. And I helped organize the

single day protest to protest you on the
second day.

I don't know if you know this, but we
had the largest attendance of white

at my inauguration.

We had more white tarps than anybody
else. That was true. You talk to me when

you organize a white tarp march.

Good point. And now you talk about
something called intersectionality. Now,

we have to create a new bathroom for
that?

Intersectionality, Donald, just means
that we're organizing across issues.

Climate justice, racial justice,
religious freedom issues, LGBTQIA

Things that you don't kind of agree
with. But we do it all together.

I'm religious. I love to book a job.

Now, don't you think that there's a
problem that extends beyond political

or ideology in portraying Muslims as
somehow rudimentary or violent or

other in a way that extends to
commentary from the left talking about

needing to take responsibility for
terrorist acts or on the right using

a way.

to criticize female treatment in Muslim
countries when we actually are trying to

kill women here by having a health care
bill that basically takes out

people's... Oh, I'm fine with that part
of the bill.

I mean, look, Donald, Muslims, we're
about 5 million people who live here in

United States of America. We're less
than 1 % of the population. We work, we

to school, we have careers, we...

Some of us golf, too, you know.

We're just everybody else. And when a
terrorist attack happens, outrageous and

horrible. But I don't want to condemn it
as a Muslim. It's not my

responsibility. Those people didn't call
me up and ask me for my opinion about

doing something horrific.

I want to condemn it as a human being,
as an American, just like everybody

Now you have a new goal, which is a lose
-proof.

Election strategy for 2018.

Can you tell me what it is so I can co
-opt it?

I'm not going to give you all the
details, Donald, because then you're

share it with your little Republican
friends.

But basically, we're all taking
ourselves to the polls and we're going

out those who want to take our health
insurance away, who want to take our

reproductive rights away, who want to
take away the rights of Muslims to

freely. We're just going to take out the
bad guys, you know, drain the swamp.

I'm so confused because Drain the Swamp
I love, but I didn't listen to the rest

of what she was saying.

It's good that you didn't. You missed
it.

Now, here's a question.

Why the hijab?

I find people make me nervous when
they're all wearing the same hat. You

what I mean?

You mean like at the women's march?

Oh, those pussy hats.

I was grabbing them off women left and
right.

Don't ever do that.

What do you think frightens me the most
about a person like you?

My power.

That I can organize five million women
across the world to stand up to

bigotry and xenophobia and sexism and
misogyny. That's what scares me. I know

does.

Stairwells and curbs. You totally failed
the test.

Linda Sunshore, everybody!

What

an

incredible show.

What a perfectly normal tribute.

To our mothers.

Am I doing a good job, mother?

Things haven't caught up with you yet,
darling.

But you know how this is going to end,
boy.

It's just a matter of time.

Get out of my head, mother.

You lie about the Russians.

You lie about the women.

You even lie about how rich you are.

But I'm the richest man in the world. I
am, I am.

You're a shady businessman.

A dishonest politician.

And now, look at you, throwing your
little tantrum. Because everyone is

find out that you're a fake.

Nobody loves a cheater.

Not even Mommy.

No!

Get her out.

Get her out of here!

What a naughty boy.

Speaking to your mother like that.

You can fire Flynn.

You can fire Yates. You can fire Comey.
But you can never fire Mommy.

We've always known how this was going to
end a little boy terrified

ashamed and all alone