Original subtitles

My, my, my.

Hey, Pop, get the phone.

Hey, Pop, the phone.

My. Get the phone.

Hey.

My, my.

My, my, my, my.

Hey, Pop.

Huh? Would you get the phone?

Who do you want me to call?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Goodbye.

Who was it, Pop?

What? I said, who was it? I don't know. They hung up.

Would you give me this magazine?

Just put this down.

I want to ask you something. Have you been having trouble hearing lately?

Huh?

I said, have you been having trouble hearing lately?

My hearing's fine.

I don't think so, Pop. People talk to you and you ignore them.

Oh, well, I've been doing that for 50 years.

And I'm going to ignore a lot more in the next 50 years.

So you better take a number so you don't have to wait in line.

Now, listen, Pop, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say I'm a

dummy and I don't know what I'm talking about, right?

There you go putting words in my mouth.

But luckily, they're the right words.

Look, I'm running a little late and I don't want to get into a tangle with you

right now. And I'm hungry anyway.

Is breakfast ready?

Huh? It's breakfast ready. Yeah, he love it. Thank you.

Huh?

This might sound strange, but what is this?

This is my own special recipe.

Freddy's Fluffy Flapjack.

Well, what am I supposed to do with it? Eat it or exercise?

Just as I thought. A little too much pepper.

I think this one is enough.

Now, listen, son, this guy wants to get in touch with you, so drop by and feel

him out. Hey, fantastic.

And listen here.

Have the truck washed, because I got a date with Donna tonight, and I want

everything to be perfect.

You know, she broke two dates with me this week already.

She's been working, Pop.

Oh, you kid, she ain't been working.

She been two -timing me with another guy.

Are you kidding? There is no other guy. Donna's been busy with her patients.

What's patience?

I said patience, Pop.

I'm patient. Patience. I'm patient.

Hey,

Pop, there's something wrong with you. I know. My only child is a dummy.

Will you listen to me?

did that say?

It says, Freddy Walters, 1465 Edwards Street.

And you took this message over the phone, right?

Yeah, so what? So we missed out on a great deal, Pop.

The man's name is not Freddy Walters.

It's Eddie Salters. And it's not Bedford Street. It's Medford Street.

Well, we better call a doctor.

I think I will. Yeah, tell him to rush over there to Medford Street because

Teddy Salters doesn't know who he is or where he lives.

This is the perfect evening for a moonlight drive and a bottle of wine,

tacos, and a bowl of menudo.

Fred, I can't keep our date.

Light on the cheese, light on the lettuce, and heavy on the lips.

Look what?

He didn't hear me. I know, Donna. Pop's going deaf.

Oh, my.

Fred! What, dear?

I have to work tonight, Fred.

What? She can't keep the date!

I did because you need help.

Yeah, and you can give it to me.

See, you've broken two dates this week already, and now you say you have to

late. I know what you're doing, Donna.

It's another man.

Oh, there are other patients, Fred.

That sounds familiar.

I'll come back as soon as I get off.

Oh, do me no favor.

Good night, Lamont. Good night.

Good night, Donna.

Hey, Pop, you didn't have to be so rude.

What?

That's it. That's it. You're practically deaf, man. I'm going to call the doctor

right now. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Doctors cost money.

Oh, Pop, don't you want to hear the birds singing in the trees?

I can live without that.

Well, what about the little children playing in the park?

I can live without that, too.

Or Godzilla whispering sweet nothings into Gork's ear.

What are we waiting for? Get that guy on the phone. Call the doctor.

Just call the doctor.

Oh,

yes. The doctor is expensive.

We'll take care of your ear, honey.

And I'll take care of your teeth, sweetheart.

Come on.

Go right in.

Come in, Mr. Sanford. I'm in.

Make yourself comfortable.

I will. Bye.

In the chair. Come on. In the chair.

You forgot the words?

I mean, I think all we have is a lovely wax buildup here.

You looking in my ear? I hit you on the floor.

Here it is, Mr. Sanford. I'm going to have to flush them out.

Oh, no, I ain't getting my head in one of them things.

Trust me, you won't feel a thing.

I know it, because I'm going to shove it up your nose.

All right,

the other side.

Can you hear?

You know, it must be terrible for Pop to watch himself fall apart.

Poor dear.

It must be a shock going deaf.

Donna, couldn't you drop by the house every day just to, you know, see if

okay? Oh, Lamont, I'd love to, but I can't.

This private duty is murder.

I've got this problem patient. Why, he needs me so much, he won't even eat

unless I'm there.

Well, just for a few minutes, Donna. I mean, you could stop by the house on

way home from work.

Pop's practically deaf and...

He really needs you.

You're right.

Thanks a lot. Well, maybe hopefully he won't need me. Maybe the doctor will

him.

Why me?

Why me?

Here's your bill.

Why?

We found this book, you know, Don and I, and it's a book on sign language.

Huh? I said we found this book and it's on sign language. We thought you should

read it. Oh, let me see it.

Uh -huh.

Oh, here's one.

What does that mean?

Get lost, dummy.

I'm sorry, I can't stay.

I've got to go and take care of one of my patients.

That's it.

That's what happens.

It's all over. As soon as everybody finds out that I'm deaf, nobody wants to

around me. See, I'm old.

I'm through.

I'm washed up.

I'm going to wash up.

Wow,

Donna, he's really depressed.

Lamont, he's in a bad way. We've got to do something to snap him out of it.

Hey, I know. A party.

A party. That's what Pop needs. Good music, old friends.

How about tomorrow night? Tomorrow night would be perfect. And we should get him

a present, too.

I know. You pick out a gift, and I'll do some shopping. Right. All right? Okay,

bye. Bye.

A present. That's it. A present.

Hello, Dr. Fuddle?

Hi, this is Lamont Sanford.

Listen, I was just wondering if I could buy a hearing aid without a

prescription, or do I have to bring my father over there to have him fit it for

it? What do you mean, why?

Well, because he's, you know, tremendously deaf.

He's not tremendously deaf?

He's not slightly deaf?

Well, how about a little deaf?

Then he must be lying a little.

He's not lying a little?

Slightly?

Tremendously.

Okay, thanks a lot.

But how did he stand all that loud knowing?

Oh, I'd like to wring his neck.

Then I take it you'll go along with the plan. You bet I will. It'll serve him

right.

Don, I'm surprised to see you.

Well, isn't life full of surprises?

Huh?

My, my, don't we look nice.

I just thought I'd be prepared, son. You know, I might have the big one tonight,

and if I'm going, I want to go in style.

Lamont, you know, sometimes I wonder if your father isn't faking.

Oh, why, Don, I... I mean, how could you? Well, I've done some research, and

when a man is really going deaf, he gets restless.

Oh, yeah, I know.

He just can't sit still.

Always doing something with their hands.

And they fumble with their ears.

But that doesn't work, so they become... and start wringing their hands.

And then they start pacing the floor.

And going faster.

And faster. And faster. And faster.

But then they realize it's no use. So they stop.

And start biting their nails.

I guess that proves it, Donna. I mean, Pop's got all the classic symptoms.

It certainly does.

Uh,

do they know what to do? Okay.

Hey, Pop, look who's here.

Pop?

I hear you're having trouble with your ears, Pop.

Too bad it's not with my eyes.

Hey, come on. Pop Rollo brought some... They help you cheer up. Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Rallo.

That's very lovely.

Now, you can go away forever.

Hey, that's no attitude to take, Pop. Relax.

Enjoy the party.

Who bought the booze? We ran out of money, so we decided to use yours. Help

yourself, everybody.

Well, you know what? You sure are looking good tonight.

Why, thank you, Rollo.

Honey.

That's some talk for you, if I could ever get to you alone.

Well, don't worry about Fred.

He's deaf in one ear and can't hear out of the other.

In that case, we'll stick around for a little while, and then we'll sneak away

to a quiet, cozy place.

Is something wrong, Pop?

No, I'm just going to get Rollo some refreshments.

Okay, quick, Rollo.

Pull the wire on the speaker. Got it.

Everybody get ready for phase two.

Hey, Rollo.

You rat. No, mister.

Yeah,

I heard that, Donna. Mm -hmm. You see, it's like stuttering.

If you pretend to talk that way, then one day you'll wake up and it's true.

Yeah, this guy pretended to be deaf and all of a sudden he was. That's right. He

went deaf.

Just like that. Yeah.

Come on, Donna. Let's have some sit -downs so you can tell me how you're

to please me in my waning years.

Hey, hey, hey, look at the man. What are we standing around for, man? Why don't

we get down?

Yeah, Rollo. You know enough.

Put on some music.

Speak up, Rallo.

sound of birds again the song of the birds and the rustle of the leaves the

rattle of the junk i didn't mean any harm i just thought donald was seeing

another man so i would have found out who he was i won't pretend no more

Son, I want to hear music again.

You do, huh?

Sure, Pop. That was a dumb trick to play on you. But what about the dumb trick

you were trying to play on us, ma 'am? Yes, you really should be ashamed of

yourself, Fred.

Do you know that 20 % of the people of the world have some form of hearing

problem? What?

Don't start that again.

No, no, no. I'm not. I was saying, like, what in surprise to the 20%. That's

right. Four million people in this country alone have difficulty even

television and can't even enjoy it.

Well, I'm sorry, Ernie.

I was just jealous and I wanted to find out who you were with.

You will meet him tomorrow.

We walk and feed him at noon.

He's 97.

We? We.

Here's your present, Pop.

Oh, you mean that you're really going to give me a gift after all, everything?

Yeah, it's from all of us.

Rollo, Esther, Woody, Donna, and me. Wow, must be worth about $50.

A hundred.

A hundred dollar gift?

A hundred dollar gift.

There's nothing in here, son, but a card. Read the card, Fred.

$100 has been donated to the Los Angeles League for the Hard of Hearing in honor

of Fred G. Sands.

The G stands for your generosity.

No, I don't. The G stands for...