All language subtitles for Sanford & Son s05e23 A Pain in the Neck

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,190 Hey, dummy. 2 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,370 Hey, dummy, you down there? 3 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:11,970 You calling me, Pop? 4 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,250 You calling me? 5 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:22,490 No, I ain't calling you. I'm talking to the cop. Ow! 6 00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:25,450 How's your back? Not too good, son. 7 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:27,190 You think you'll be able to make it tonight? 8 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:28,830 Don't worry, I'll make it. 9 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:32,590 Ain't every day a man gets named why he's been this man of the year. 10 00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:33,990 I'm real proud of you, Pop. 11 00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:35,290 Look here. 12 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:36,710 In honor... 13 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,720 Of 35 years of law and service to the community, the Watts Businessmen's 14 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:47,340 Association will award you Fred G. Sanford, his traditional glass key, and 15 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,340 dinner in your honor. 16 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,680 You may purchase your ticket for $10 at the door. 17 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:58,020 Yeah, I ran into Mr. Graham this afternoon, the president of the 18 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,320 and he said it's a sellout. A sellout! 19 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,920 Hey, Lamar, you see my heating pad? 20 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,580 No, I thought you had it last night. 21 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,039 Yeah, I did. I forgot. I was throwing out some TV dinners. 22 00:02:10,419 --> 00:02:11,420 I'll get it. 23 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:18,060 Listen, if that's one of Gabriel's angels, tell him to come back tomorrow 24 00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:19,840 because I'm too sick to go today. 25 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:23,800 Oh, 26 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:25,700 hi, Mama. 27 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,040 How you doing, Lamar? Pretty good. 28 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,000 Good. How you doing, friend? 29 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,020 Terrible. Good. 30 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,740 Well, I just want to wish the man of the year the best of luck tonight. 31 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,280 I guess you're kind of excited, eh, friend? 32 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,220 Yeah, Bubba, I can see it all now. 33 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:50,780 Me making that triumphal walk around the banquet room with my glass key and 34 00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:52,100 shaking hands with everybody. 35 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,440 Oh, by the way, that key is beautiful. 36 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,060 Where are you going to display it, friend? 37 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:58,100 I'm not going to display it, Bubba. 38 00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,620 That wouldn't be humble. 39 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,460 I'm just going to put it over there in a little dark corner right over there. 40 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,460 Hey, wait a minute, Pop. Why are you going to put it in the corner? 41 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,400 Because I'm going to put a spotlight right above it. 42 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,020 Hey, 43 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:13,560 take it easy. Now, just take it easy. What is it? Oh, it's my back, son. I 44 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,260 move. Quick, Bubba. Help me get it. Come on. Take it easy. 45 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:17,460 Easy. 46 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,700 I knew it. 47 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:20,960 I knew it. 48 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,100 I'm fine as I have arrived, and I'm not going to live past the first five 49 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,100 minutes. 50 00:03:29,269 --> 00:03:30,269 Bubba got an idea. 51 00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:35,590 That means there's still a chance for a miracle. 52 00:03:37,070 --> 00:03:41,230 Yeah, my brother's back used to lock up on him like this. You just got to know 53 00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:41,869 what to do. 54 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:44,470 Hey, Bubba, I don't think we should fool around with Pop's back. Maybe we should 55 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:45,309 call a doctor. 56 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,310 Oh, it's so easy. 57 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:50,070 See, all you got to do is stand behind him and then fold his arms like this 58 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,710 here. Be careful. And then give him an adjustment, watch. 59 00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:56,970 Bubba, Bubba, I'm warning you. Have you heard me? I'm going to sue you for 60 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,070 malpractice of the brain. 61 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,090 on the right spot for it to work. 62 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,970 Oh, thank you. Hey, 63 00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:40,930 come on, Pop. Now, you know what Dr. Garvey said. 64 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,890 Yeah, he said that would be $25, please. 65 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:49,090 No, he said you should remain inactive and apply a lot of heat. Don't worry. 66 00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:52,870 I'm going to apply a lot of heat. When the bill comes, I'm going to burn it. 67 00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:55,550 Say, listen, I got an idea. 68 00:04:55,810 --> 00:05:01,270 What? Take my hand, take my two hands, and put them together as hard as you 69 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,020 Put them against each other. All right, but I don't know what... They used to 70 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,020 work for my uncle. 71 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,520 Like this? Yeah, that's it. 72 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:08,740 Okay. 73 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:15,820 Dear Lord, you don't know me too well, but I'm Elizabeth's husband. 74 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,560 And, you know, I never... 75 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,980 This is no time to get even with me. 76 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,440 Do my eyes deceive me? 77 00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:46,320 Or is this Fred Sampson asking the good Lord for help? 78 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,880 Yeah, but it didn't work. 79 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,360 You walked in. 80 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,320 Now, you listen here. I came here to help you, Fred Sampson. 81 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:57,860 Now, you tell me where the pain is. 82 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,700 In my eyes, I'm looking at you. 83 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,610 Let me get you here. I got a better idea. 84 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,590 Why don't you just walk on back out the door and relieve all of my agony? 85 00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:16,510 Help me get him up. Help me. Come on. 86 00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:17,829 Up, up, up. 87 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:21,670 Oh, my back. I'm not going to put this thing. Just get your hands off me. I 88 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:22,970 don't want that stuff on me. 89 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:26,210 You're just as stubborn as old jackass. 90 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:28,550 And you're just as pretty as one. 91 00:06:32,110 --> 00:06:35,630 I know why I'm not wanted. Well, when are you leaving this planet? 92 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,560 Oh, Janet's fine out after. She's visiting her relatives up in Sacramento. 93 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,700 Yeah, why don't you go out to the zoo and visit yours? 94 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,760 Oh, shut up, sucker. 95 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,100 Hey, Pop, 96 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:08,840 what you going to do there for? 97 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,180 I don't know, son. 98 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,140 I guess I wanted to die happy. 99 00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,800 Now, you're not going to die. Would you stop talking like that? 100 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,830 And you're not going to make that promenade around that banquet hall 101 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:21,450 you don't let somebody help you. Son, I got to make it. That's been my goal for 102 00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:22,450 35 years. 103 00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:26,030 And here, Miss Hopkins. 104 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:27,430 There you are. 105 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,950 How is the patient? 106 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,610 Oh, Mr. 107 00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:37,150 Sanford, I have just heard the news. 108 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:44,380 Congratulations. Did I say something wrong? No, no, his back. Oh, his back. 109 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,400 is precisely why I am here. You're back. Yes, indeed. 110 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:51,880 I had this absolutely marvelous idea. I know how badly you want to go to the 111 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:56,680 banquet tonight, so I have brought this wonderful man with me. He has traveled 112 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,760 the entire world teaching a whole new concept, procuring the ills of mankind. 113 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,880 You got Henry Kissinger out there? 114 00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:07,760 May I bring him in? Yes, sure, bring him in. Oh, good. You may come in now, 115 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:08,840 Panjib. 116 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,620 Hey, that's not Henry Kissinger. 117 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,060 That's Golda Mac. 118 00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:21,860 This is Panjabrandapur, under whom I have the honor of studying universal 119 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:24,340 meditation. It is my honor. 120 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:28,140 May your inner house soon be free from bodily pain. 121 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:29,740 Thank you. 122 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:34,200 And may your outer skirt soon be free from gravy stains. 123 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:42,500 Universal meditation. That's where you separate the mind from the body, isn't 124 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,359 it? Oh, exactly. 125 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,920 Only we refer to it as the state of transcendental consciousness. 126 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,520 In old days, we used to call that the state of total drunkenness. 127 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:58,200 Now, pain such as you are suffering is frequently caused by the physical 128 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,820 manifestation of social stress and can therefore be relieved. 129 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,300 By perfect relaxation of the mind. 130 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:08,100 Well, that is just beautiful. You took the words right out of my mouth. 131 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:09,179 Well, good. 132 00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,480 Now you can take his mouth out of my house. 133 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,580 Hey, Pop, the man is here to help you at least listen to what he has to say. 134 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,620 Okay, okay. 135 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:17,860 Listen, Left Jab. 136 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:23,740 If it means picking up my man of the year award tonight, then I'm all yours. 137 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:24,980 Come on, relax away. 138 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,920 Thank you. May I sit down? 139 00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:28,520 Sure. Have a seat. 140 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:31,880 Hey, you missed. 141 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,900 No, no. You must sit down on the floor, as I am doing. 142 00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:39,460 Yeah, that floor is cold. 143 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,680 I sure hope you wear some warm drawers. 144 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,100 Now, this is called the lotus position, after the flower of tranquility. 145 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,080 You should try it, Mr. Sandberg. Just take this leg. 146 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,060 Wait a minute. 147 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,740 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it. 148 00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:05,790 Are you having trouble with your flower of tranquility? 149 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:09,470 No, I'm having trouble with my fruit of the loom. 150 00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:24,490 Now then, the next step is to free the mind of all conscious thought. Now this 151 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,350 we do by picking a word to chant to ourselves. 152 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,710 Uh, what kind of word? 153 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:33,930 Well, a word that best symbolizes your inner state of mind. 154 00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:35,490 I got it. 155 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:37,510 Ouch! 156 00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:40,630 Take another word, Mr. Sanford. 157 00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,170 I'll take another word. 158 00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:43,830 Yes. Ouch! 159 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,650 I cannot. You are stepping on my skirt. 160 00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:48,890 Oh. 161 00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:53,970 I think perhaps we'd better go now, Panjib. I'm awfully sorry, Mr. 162 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,330 Sanford. We did... What are you doing, Park? 163 00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:58,910 What's the matter? May the river of your age... 164 00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:03,630 soon spend itself out and disport you on the sands of eternal well -being. 165 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:10,030 And may the muddy water of the Mississippi run off your tires and out 166 00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,030 mahal. 167 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:18,930 Hey, Pop, just take it easy. Now, why don't you just try and sit down? I 168 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,510 sit. I can't see. My lap is locked. 169 00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:22,450 Well, what are you going to do now? 170 00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:23,930 I don't know, son. 171 00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,930 If I don't get to that dinner, I'll just soon be dead. 172 00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:30,450 Now you're talking like a child. What do you expect from somebody four feet 173 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,450 tall? 174 00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:34,350 Just relax. I'll get it. 175 00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:37,150 Hello? Oh, hi, Archie. 176 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,850 No, Pop's the same. We tried everything. 177 00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:41,650 No, we didn't try that. 178 00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:42,870 Thanks a lot, Archie. 179 00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:45,630 You know, Pop, that was Archie. You know what he said we should try? Something 180 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,630 we never thought of. 181 00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:47,970 Huh? Acupuncture. 182 00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:51,430 Acupuncture? You mean with all them little needles sticking in you? 183 00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:55,890 Yeah. I think we should try everything, including acupuncture. Now, acupuncture 184 00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:57,730 is a well -respected old Chinese cure. 185 00:11:58,210 --> 00:11:59,710 Oh, that's all I needed to know. 186 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:00,829 But then you come in? 187 00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:02,870 As soon as I get old Chinese disease, dummy. 188 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:09,730 Take it easy, Pop. Take it easy. 189 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,930 Watch it. Watch it. Take it easy. 190 00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:18,710 Wait a minute, son. 191 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,370 Wait a minute. Huh? I just remembered. 192 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,020 I got to go visit a sick friend across town. 193 00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:25,520 Who? Me. Bye. 194 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,700 Wait a minute, Pop. Now, you got an appointment for an acupuncture 195 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,760 and you're going to keep it. 196 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,620 This is something that you don't understand. Do you want to pick up that 197 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,960 tonight and promenade around the room? 198 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:38,240 Yeah, but see, it's something about needles that I can't stand. 199 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,280 Pop, everybody has that same fear. 200 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:41,580 Not like me, son. 201 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,380 Like, I used to have to leave the room every time my mother used to come in the 202 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,380 room with her knitting. 203 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:49,720 That's right. I was the only kid that threw up. 204 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,950 when they played pin the tail on the donkey. 205 00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:53,890 Will you stop it? 206 00:12:54,130 --> 00:12:58,330 And last week, I was down at the bus station, and I couldn't even watch that 207 00:12:58,330 --> 00:12:59,670 arrow that pointed to the men's room. 208 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:05,350 And now look at you, my own son, trying to get me shish kebabs. 209 00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:10,410 Well, Pop, now just relax. Now come over here and try to sit down, okay? Now 210 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,030 just relax. Now relax and try to sit down. Take it easy. Okay? 211 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:17,170 The honest has told me that Reverend Spike comes over here all the time for 212 00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,170 arthritis. Yeah. 213 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,200 And you don't mind getting all them holes punched in his body? No, he says 214 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,500 doesn't hurt at all. No kidding. 215 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,860 That's why he got that holier -than -thou look, huh? 216 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,240 Mr. Sandman? 217 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,320 Over here, doctor. 218 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,300 Please, don't get up. 219 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:37,720 What do you mean, don't get up? Yeah, I'm already up. 220 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,640 Dr. Tillis, would you please explain the procedure involved in acupuncture so my 221 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,660 pop won't be so frightened? 222 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,940 You see, your body contains certain key points that control pain. 223 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,160 Now, what I intend to do is to manipulate those key points by inserting 224 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,160 into your body. 225 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,540 Doc, I'm beginning to feel better now. 226 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,100 I think I'll go home and take a couple of thumbtacks and go to bed. 227 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,720 Please, please, please, Mr. 228 00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:10,940 Sandberg. At least let me give you an examination, after which you can decide 229 00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:12,500 for yourself whether or not you want to proceed. 230 00:14:13,189 --> 00:14:15,070 Now, how's that, Pop? Is that fair enough or what? 231 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,090 That's it. I just made up my mind. 232 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,290 See you later, Doc. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 233 00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:27,710 No, listen now. Mr. Stanford, please. 234 00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,310 That is a patient we are yet to treat. 235 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:36,050 Now, once we treat him with our needles, you won't hear a sound out of him. 236 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:39,530 What are you going to do, sew his mouth up? 237 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,200 Thank you. 238 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,368 Thank you. 239 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,320 You're standing up straight. 240 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,200 Look 241 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:27,580 at 242 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:28,580 that. 243 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:29,740 Good as new. 244 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,680 Hey, you'll be able to go to that dinner and promenade around the room. 245 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,760 This is most remarkable. 246 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:41,160 A total body acupuncture cure. 247 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,080 That's right, Doc. 248 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,820 And by a cactus, not you. 249 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,900 I suggest you acupuncture your bill. 250 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,680 I don't understand. 251 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,060 Stick it. 252 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:10,040 And now, to the purpose for which we came tonight. 253 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,480 Hey, this is it, Pop. The Glass Key Award. 254 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:13,940 Yeah, look at that thing. 255 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,740 It's beautiful, and it's crystal, and it's... 256 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:23,060 As you know, we have gathered here to pay tribute to this year's man of the 257 00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:25,640 year, our own Fred Sanford. 258 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:37,380 And as is our custom, we have asked each honored 259 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:41,720 guest on the desk to say a few words about this very special man. 260 00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:44,940 Beginning with the newest member of the Watts community, 261 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,860 Mrs. May Hopkins. 262 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,440 Tonight, 263 00:16:54,820 --> 00:17:00,000 we have come to freeze Fred Sanford, not to bury him. 264 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,400 Now, the vote was close, I must say. 265 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,380 I salute you, Fred Sanford. 266 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,440 And if I may say in the vernacular of the ghetto... 267 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:28,860 One of Mr. Sanford's longtime friends, a man who might himself deserve the once 268 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:35,600 businessman of the year award, except he's been out of work for 12 years, Mr. 269 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080 Grady Wilson. 270 00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:44,060 Let me say that I'm proud to 271 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,440 be Fred Sanford's friend. 272 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,360 Look at him. 273 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,440 I know it's hard if you've just eaten. 274 00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:01,940 at his profession. 275 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,300 I love it when Grady tells it like it is. 276 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:09,140 When you think of Fred Sanford, you think of junk. 277 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,300 You ain't never lying. 278 00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:22,780 I'll never forget the first time, the first time I met Fred Sanford. 279 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:27,320 I was down on my luck, and I asked him to loan me $2. 280 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,940 And he did, without... 281 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:35,570 And to this very day has never asked me for that $2 back. 282 00:18:35,790 --> 00:18:36,649 Yes, sir. 283 00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:40,670 Well, tonight, I'd like to give him that $2 back. 284 00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,210 Thanks, baby. 285 00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:50,650 Now, Fred, will you please release my mother? 286 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:58,550 And now, another good friend, Mr. 287 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,160 Thank you and good evening. 288 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,660 I think I can honestly say that I'm the man of the year's best friend. 289 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,480 Now you know what kind of year I'm having. 290 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:21,740 But seriously, folks, speaking of World War II, 291 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:28,020 Fred was the first in this neighborhood to volunteer. 292 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:34,540 He volunteered me, Grady, and Esther. 293 00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:38,820 And Esther was the only one who passed the physical. 294 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:44,280 If Bubba don't sit down soon, I'm going to have second thoughts about what to do 295 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,280 with that glass key. 296 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,300 In closing, I'd like to take a moment to be serious. 297 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:55,580 The man that we are here to honor tonight is one of the greatest guys 298 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,040 A man who doesn't know the meaning of the word... disloyalty. 299 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,180 A man who doesn't know the meaning of the word anger. 300 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:06,360 A man who doesn't know the meaning of the word neglect. 301 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:12,020 But a man who has earned this honor tonight, despite the fact he doesn't 302 00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:13,320 the meaning of too many words. 303 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:16,660 Congratulations and good luck. 304 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,220 Mrs. 305 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:25,740 Esther. 306 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,800 I know the meaning of gorilla. 307 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:42,980 Lord only knows I've had my differences with Fred 308 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,820 Sanford. But tonight is a happy occasion. 309 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:54,820 So rather than speak on his bad point, I'll just dwell on his good point. 310 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:12,280 And now, the son of the man of the year, Lamar Sanford. 311 00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:19,080 I'm not very good at public speaking, Pop. 312 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,620 That's okay, sir. 313 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,520 You don't speak too good in private, either. 314 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,600 So, I'll just say that you've been my man of the year every year of my life. 315 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,600 Hey, isn't that nice? 316 00:21:37,390 --> 00:21:40,330 The moment we've all been waiting for. You can say that again. 317 00:21:42,070 --> 00:21:46,230 The presentation of the award to our man of the year, who will take the award 318 00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:49,970 and walk around with it, shaking hands with all of his friends. 319 00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:52,050 Bring it in, sir, please. Right here. 320 00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,050 Thank you. 321 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:57,790 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 322 00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:02,210 This is a glass key that I was supposed to walk around with. I can't carry it. 323 00:22:02,230 --> 00:22:03,750 It's heavy. Wrong, Fred. Look. 324 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,500 used for second place from now on. 325 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,640 First place is this first annual Otto J. Cratchaw Memorial Trophy. Go on, Fred. 326 00:22:12,140 --> 00:22:13,960 Take the traditional acceptance walk. 327 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,160 Yeah, go ahead, Fred. 328 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,320 Yeah, you know, Pop, wait a minute, Pop. I think I should help you carry that. 329 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,700 Oh, come on, Lamont. Let your father have his moment of glory. 330 00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:29,020 Yeah, you tell him. I mean, this is my moment of glory. 331 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,260 And I waited 35 years to make this walk. Right, right. 332 00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:33,460 I'm going to make it alone. 333 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:34,620 All right. 334 00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:40,100 Hey, 335 00:22:57,980 --> 00:22:58,980 how's your back feeling, Pop? 336 00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,120 A little bit better, son. 337 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:03,620 You made the soup? Yeah, I got it right here. Is it nice and hot? 338 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,330 Yeah. Give it here. 339 00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:06,750 Good evening. 340 00:23:13,110 --> 00:23:14,110 Yeah. 341 00:23:15,590 --> 00:23:20,250 You know, Pop, you never did tell me how you hurt your back in the first place. 342 00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:24,430 I know I never told you, son, but I think you're old enough to know now. 343 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:30,750 You see, when I was a young man in St. Louis, I was quite the ladies' man. 344 00:23:31,270 --> 00:23:32,430 In fact, they... 345 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,620 Used to call me Rudolph Vasolino. 346 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,980 I think that's Valentino. 347 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,200 Yeah, him too. 348 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:49,580 Well, anyway, one Saturday night, I took this girl, Rosalind Wilson, to the 349 00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:51,720 movies. It was dark and romantic. 350 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,040 After a while, I made my move. 351 00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:57,280 Then she made her move. 352 00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:59,020 Then I made my move. 353 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:00,740 Then she made her move. 354 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,440 Then I made my last big move. 355 00:24:03,980 --> 00:24:06,740 And that's how you hurt your back, making your last big move? 356 00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:11,100 No, I hurt my back when she made her last big move and threw me out the 27145

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