All language subtitles for Sanford & Son s05e22 The Director

If Lamont wanted to be an actor, he
should forget about all that work -time

stuff and start coming to the movies
with us.

That's right. And watch the real pros at
work.

Yeah, the real pros.

He had acting class, he's taking up too
much of his time, and he ain't even got

a part in one of them plays yet. Well,
he's learning, Fred. You don't want him

to bite off more than he can chew.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Godzilla did that one and threw up all
over the Philippines.

Why didn't Lamont come with us tonight?

Well, tonight's his acting workshop, and
he's trying out for a new play.

Well, maybe he'll get the part.

Fred, what am I eating?

Leftovers. From what?

July 23rd.

How was the movie?

Oh, Tony, it was just great. I mean, you
should have went there with him, and

then you can learn acting. That's right.

Nobody grunts like Godzilla.

Well, maybe next time, Pop, but I got
some pretty exciting news, man.

Oh, really? Guess what, Pop.

I finally got a part in a play.

Congratulations. Yeah. What's it about?

Well, see, it's about a boxer and his
brother, and the boxer risks his life so

that he can make money in fights.

and put his brother, played by me,
through medical school.

Is it all going to be funny at Lamont?

Well, the play's not funny at all,
Elroy. You're going to want to see this

Pop. Not me. I don't like to see them
old sister guys putting on powder

lipstick.

Okay,

I'd like to see you tell that to the
lead in our play.

I will.

George Foreman.

George Foreman the fighter? That's
right.

You're kidding.

George Foreman, the champ.

My... in a play with you in person?

Why are you lying to me, son?

I'm not lying to you, Pop. See, the
workshop needs money, and George was

enough to volunteer services and do a
play so we could charge admission and

the workshop going.

You hear that, Elroy? You hear that? I
heard that, Fred.

Me and George Foreman, at the
rehearsals, going out together, showing

around, being his buddy.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about showing an interest in
my son and going to rehearsal with him.

Helping him with his lines.

Getting to meet the stars.

Wait a minute.

Now, George was nice enough. He's going
to rehearse the play for a couple of

weeks. Then we're going to put it on.

He doesn't have time to be sitting
around with you. Pop, the man is very

But I got to meet him, son. I followed
him through all of his fights.

I even sent him a get well card to
Zaire.

Look, Pop, I'm sure you'll get a chance
to meet him.

Well, he'll be dying to meet me because
I'm his biggest fan. I believe you, Pop.

Now, look, I tell you what. If you come
out of rehearsal one day... One day?

What do you mean, one day? I'll be by
every day.

I mean, I'll be there looking after you.

I don't know about that, Pop. Well, if
you want to do that play with some

you better know about it.

You know, this is going to be one night
for me, Godzilla and George Foreman.

knock him out.

No way.

Georgie Wynn blindfolded. Oh, yeah?

How about King Kong?

Blindfolded. Esther.

The only way he could

beat Esther is blindfolded.

Morning. Morning, son.

Morning, Pop. What you doing up so
early? Oh, I just thought I'd give you a

learning your lines. You know, I'll take
one part and you take yours. You don't

have to do that. You want a cup of
coffee? Yeah.

Okay. Now, this is the script.

That's it right there. It starts on page
12, and I'm Biff. I'm the part of Biff.

Well. Yeah. Biff.

Biff. Yes, Biff.

All right.

I'll be the champ. You ready? Go ahead.

I'm doing this for you, Biff.

I don't want you to get hurt.

More feeling.

What? I mean, I don't believe it when
you said, I don't want you to get hurt.

If you don't want Bill to get hurt, let
him feel it. Try it again.

Pop, we've got a director now. Just help
me with the lines.

Okay, okay.

Nobody's going to hurt me. And besides,
you want to be a dancer, don't you?

That's doctor.

Yeah. You want to be a doctor, don't
you? You know I do.

Sure I do.

Sure I do.

That's better, son. Let me see now.

Well, that's why I'm fighting, to get
money to send you to college going to

door. You don't... You don't say going
to

the door. That's a stage direction.

Oh.

I'll see you later, hiding his
nervousness.

Pop, that's another direction.

Well, is this a strip or a map?

Honest, Pop, you don't have to help me
with it. I know my lines.

I'll find out whether you know him when
we get to rehearsal.

Now, you're not going to that rehearsal.

Yes, I am.

Rising to kill his only son.

Hey, listen, son. When do we start?

Oh, pretty soon, Pop. As soon as George
Foreman gets here.

Um, Pop, this is Eugene Bancroft, and
he's my father in the play.

He plays me?

Yeah, not exactly.

I'm just... father in the play. See,
George Foreman plays my son the boxer,

Lamont plays my son the dancer.

That's doctor.

Well,

look, if you need any help, just give me
a little shout -out. Give you a few

hints on how to play a dummy's father.

Would you please go sit down? The man
can handle this himself.

Hey,

look here, director.

When are you going to start this thing?

Mr. Sanford, if you don't mind, I'll
begin when I'm ready.

Having you here as an outsider has
broken my rule.

You lucky the outsider hadn't broken
your jaw.

Don't hold me now. What's the matter
with you? Would you please just go and

down? I'm sorry, Mr. Creeley.

Pop's just a little anxious, you know,
to see the champ.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right. Just have a seat
and try to remain silent.

Don't press your luck.

Okay.

Okay, let's go. I'm sorry I'm late.

Let's go. Let's go. That's quite all
right, Mr. Farman. In fact, we are

certainly honored that you could join
our little company, and we're certainly

honored that you would take the time out
to help us raise the money to continue

our efforts here at the workshop.

Should be fun.

It certainly will be. I'd like you to
meet our cast. This is Eugene Bancroft.

plays your father. Hi, Jim.

And this is Burt Morgan, the syndicate
hitman. Hi, Jake. And Lamont Sanford

plays your brother. Hi, Bill Chan. Yeah,
your skinny little brother.

And you, what do you play?

Anything you want to do.

Poker, gin, rummy, bingo.

You name it. I'm with you. I'm in your
corner.

Oh, you played a pice drunk fighter.

I know, Tim.

See, this is my pop.

He's one of your biggest fans.

Mr. Creeley was kind enough to give him
permission to sit in on one of our

rehearsals. Nice to meet you.

Hey, you hear that? He said nice to meet
me. Talk to me.

Perhaps we could get started.

Will you be quiet? D .C. George is
talking to me. Pop, would you go sit

Maybe we can get together a little
later, Mr.

Sanford. Fred G. You call me Fred G.
Sanford.

The G is for Golden Glove.

Place this, everyone.

Mr. Foreman, did you get a chance to
look at the script?

Sure, on the plane. I think I got most
of it. Good.

He got most of it on the plane, son. Did
you hear that? I mean, he's great.

Let's start at the first scene.

Mr. Foreman, that's right before you
come in. Your father and your brother

talking. Right, I know my cue.
Excellent. He knows his cue. You hear

play fool, too.

Cue you, Gene.

I know you had your heart set on going
to medical school, son, but... I

understand money. That's what it's all
about. Isn't it, money?

That's what it's all about.

I guess you're just going to have to
forget about being a dancer.

A nothing, a bum.

What was the point of me doing all that
studying, all the good grades,

forgetting about football and social
life, hitting the books every night? For

what? For what?

You'll act better next time, son. Would
you be quiet?

I thought he was very sensitive.

Okay, okay.

I'm sorry. Well, take it from Lamont.
For what? For what? I am the director

here, sir.

We'll take it from Lamont. For what? For
what?

For what? For what?

Sometimes in life, son, you don't get
everything that you aim for.

High. Bravo!

Bravo! Bravo!

Sorry.

Take it from high.

High. High, son.

Wait, what's the matter, Bill? What's
the matter? You name it, that's what's

matter. It's about school.

Just isn't enough money.

Past tense.

What? There just wasn't enough money,
but now there is. You're kidding.

More surprise, more surprise.

You're kidding.

Calm down, Biff.

You know, Mr. Sanford may have a point,
if you don't mind.

Oh, no, I don't mind, Mr. Foreman.
Anything you feel.

Well, if he don't show a lot of
surprise, then I'd sort of look stupid

calm down.

That's right.

If he wasn't calmed up, how can he be
calmed down?

I mean, that's right.

Well, all right, let's try it that way.

Culemon, you're kidding.

Calm down, Biff.

Money's no problem. You didn't sign with
Piniella.

Sure, Pop. I can fight.

He's the promoter. I'll fight and we get
money. No.

I already did.

I told you not to.

Hold it, hold it. Boring. Mr.

Sanford, we are rehearsing.

Well, you rehearsed it all wrong.

I mean, that's what a father, that's not
what a father would say. Not what he

would do.

Look, look here, you big dummy.

I said no.

I said no, and I say no, I mean no.

Or would you like five across your lip?

say anything well is he a father does he
know what a father would talk about i'm

a father and i tell you i'm right look i
don't want to mix in but it may work if

eugene that would be a bit more forceful
mr sanford reminded me of my own father

there for a minute well i mean it's only
a suggestion so well yes

let's try it that way well take five and
we'll start from the top

You boxed?

I was a middleweight.

Maybe you remember me.

Kid Death.

I see all the weight of steel in the
middle.

Excuse me a minute, George.

Can I talk to my pop for a minute?

Sure. Is it all right with you, George?

Excuse me.

Hey, Pop, what's the matter with you?
You're making a fool out of yourself.

Let's get that strip out. It costs
money.

You're making a fool out of yourself.

What are you talking about? I'm talking
about you, the senior citizen groupie.

Son, you have to understand that this is
a dream come true.

Me and the champ.

I do understand that, Pop, but you're
interrupting the rehearsal.

Well, that director don't know what he's
talking about.

But he is the director.

We'll impeach him.

Pop, you're either going to have to be
quiet or you're going to have to go

And that's what Mr. Creeley told me to
tell you. Why didn't he tell me himself?

Because he's afraid of tear death.
That's why.

Look, you told Eugene how to act, you
told me how to react, you restaged the

whole third scene, and you changed the
words of half the actors in the show.

Because I know what's real. Not Mr.
Creepy Creely.

Yes.

Creepy Creely.

He done ruined the whole show, and I
want George to look good. What about me?

Well, you can't look too good, son.

You don't have my profile.

darlings, let's get into act two.

Don't worry, son.

Listen, just act your heart out. All
right.

Let's go now. This is the scene right
before the big fight in the dressing

Why would it be a big fight in the
dressing room?

Because the champ is going to lose on
purpose.

Take a dive?

Because that's the way he's going to get
enough money to get Biff through

medical school.

Where do we stand?

Oh.

Lamont, why don't you sit in the chair,
and Eugene, you can stand behind

Lamont's chair.

Well, look, wouldn't he be near his son?
I mean, he's going to fight, so he's

going to be there to encourage him. You
know, he should be standing right next

to him. The champ should be off by
himself.

Mr. Foreman, your line, please.

Dad, you don't have to stand next to me.
Go on over there and cheer Bill.

I can't. I cannot go on. This is more
than I can bear.

That's acting.

Not really. It was just the director
that left.

Hey, we've got to have a director.

Look, seeing that we're all kind of
amateurs at this, I've got a feeling

Freddy G has got just what it takes to
get us through it.

Places, everyone!

You sure he's coming, Lamont? Oh, he'll
be here. He wouldn't miss a chance to

direct you, champ. Yeah? Why didn't he
drive over with you, then? Well, him and

his friend Elroy had to make a stop
first.

Attention, please.

Cast, cast, quiet, quiet. What are you
talking about, Elmer? Quiet, actor.

Your director's coming.

It's the Otto Preminger look.

You look fantastic, Freddy G.

Thanks, Lowe's. Now, let's get to work,
darling.

Uh, Pop.

Mr. Spencer.

At home, you're my son. Here, you're
just another actor. You can be replaced.

Places, everyone.

Elroy, give me some coffee. Coffee.

And a sweet roll. Sweet roll. Coffee.

Now, I've been looking over the play,
and it lacks that certain something.

Now, the father's got to be tougher.

Champ. has got to be gentler, and the
brothers got to be more cultured,

educated, and have an English accent.

Say what?

You heard me, dummy.

An English accent.

An added dimension to the character, old
chap.

Why would I have an English accent?

Because I said so.

See, you'll have class like all those
English actors.

Richard Burton, Alec Guinness, and, uh,
uh, uh, Julie London.

That's ridiculous, Pop. I'm playing the
part of a guy from the ghetto, man,

struggling to make it to the top.

I'm not playing the scarlet pimpernel.

The who?

I'm not going to do it.

Listen, I'm the director, and you're
going to do what I say. Now, you know

closing lines act one.

Yeah, I know my line.

Send me the school sensation.

Now, just imagine the impact of that
when the audience hears, Shipping off to

Oxford?

How charming.

Rather, Marvy.

Now, that's directing.

Give me a chair, Elroy.

Chair. And some fresh sweet rolls.

Sweet rolls.

All right, now we're going to take it
right from the top.

From the top. Let's move from the top.

Look, Eugene.

Now, I want to see real tears coming out
your eyes in that scene with the champ.

I can't cry no real tears.

You can't cry no real tears. What size
shoe you wear?

Nine.

Well, put on some sevens.

with you and the champ, you'll cry from
pain.

All right, now let's do it. Champ and
the Biff scene.

All right, cue everyone.

Give me a cue. Move on out here.

Bill, I don't like this any more than
you do.

I say it's just not cricket, actually.

to win on purpose is rather bourgeoisie,
I say.

I don't have a choice. If I win, they'll
kill me.

Oh, my.

Well, you are a marvelous chap and the
most wonderful brother gentlemen could

have.

You'd do the same for me. I would. And I
shall try to be the best physician in

the nation, my dear brother.

Hold it. Now, before you leave, look at
him and give him a pat on the shoulder.

All right.

My dear brother.

All right, now, there's something
missing.

A reaction from the champ.

I could, uh... Listen, no, no, you just
hush. I'll do the thing for you, champ.

That's my job, see? Now, you do it fine,
George, but the guy who plays your

brother... Hey, that's your son.

At home, he's my son.

Here, he's just the guy who's playing
your brother, and he stinks.

Look, Freddie G, I appreciate the way
you stepped in and took over.

But you're going to have to be more
considerate of Lamar and the other

It's too late. He just isn't any good.

He's not good enough for Broadway, but
honestly, I don't think you are either.

You think I'm too tough?

Tough and rough.

Thank you.

Let's lighten up and have some fun
around here, okay?

Okay. You got it. Eugene.

Yeah, right. Look, I want to apologize
for the way I've been treating you.

Okay. Okay, son. Let's rehearse now.
From where?

We'll do the whole ending, but let's go
over your exit speech first.

All right.

Well, it's just not cricket, actually.

That's not going to work. Look how
everybody's laughing at me.

I'm not going to stand up here and make
a fool of myself. out of myself when

this place starts like this before you
came in this play this play had hearts

and guts and it meant something and you
came in and changed it all around and i

don't mean nothing it's just foolish i'm
gonna do it my way okay okay uh maybe

you're right but but that was it that
that anger that fury that emotion that

active should we do the whole act now
now champ uh you just decided to uh

to take a dive uh you hate the idea and
you're all alone And you got to show

anger and frustration.

You got to hit the wall.

Lamont, Eugene, everybody, forgive me.

You're not mad at me? Sure I'm mad at
you, thinking you're some kind of

pushing people around and ruining the
play.

Then how come you're talking to me? You
did what you thought was best.

Yeah, but what about the workshop?

No problem. The workshop's going to be
fine. Look, we got a letter from George

Foreman. Here, I'll read it for you.

My fellow actors, I'm sorry I was the
cause of the cancellation of the play,

I hope you'll let me come back next year
and try again.

In the meantime, the enclosed check
should cover the operating expenses.

for your group till I get back.

P .S., please make sure Freddy is around
because... You hear that, Elroy? He

wants me.

The champ wants me around, and he sent
some money, too.

He's everything I thought he was.

Because why am I... You better read
this, Pop.

P .S., make sure Freddy's around because
I just love to look at him.

His hair is my favorite color.

Leave.