Original subtitles

Hey, Pop, you know... All right, here we go again. You're

not talking to me, right?

Well, you're wrong, and you know it. Why don't you just come on out and admit

that you're wrong?

And go out there and do that inventory like you're supposed to, and if I have

time when I come home, I'll help you finish it.

Pop,

you know I like toast.

All right, I'll do it.

I knew you would, son.

Good morning.

I've always given in to you, Pop, but I'm not going to do it this time. If you

want that inventory done, you're going to have to do it yourself. You got that?

And when I come home, I'll finish decorating the tree.

What branch would you like your teeth on?

You can take that tree and them decorations on out of here because we

no money to be spending on no foolishness.

Anything you say, Scrooge.

Scrooge this.

and stand in the low tide until the high tide commits suicide.

You don't upset me, Fred Sanford. I have the feeling of Christmas.

And the faith of Halloween.

What are you starting something for, Pop?

Hi, Honester. Listen, I'm in a hurry. Is there anything I can do for you, Polly?

Just put these under your tree, sweetheart.

Oh, thanks a lot. Hey, here's a present here for you, Pop.

You spend money on me?

It's not the amount of money one spends on a gift, Fred.

It's the thought behind it.

What is it? Who cares?

would say, adios, sucker.

This is Nelson.

Now, if that's you again, I'm gonna take your head and use it for an ornament on

top of some tree.

I'm tidy.

Sir?

Sir, that's me. My name is Ronnie Small.

Uh, I'm sir.

to talk to you about a job. Who do you think I am, one of the Kelly girls?

Wait, I'd do anything for it.

Huh, yeah?

Yes, I need $10 to buy a Christmas present for my mother and father, and I

have two days till Christmas. Anything?

Yes, sir. I'll work both days, day and night, for the $10.

Two days?

Yes, sir.

Uh, come on in.

Uh, let me explain my health and welfare plan to you.

is for my health and welfare.

How's this, Mr. Sanford?

Well, it's very good.

And you'd be in a hurry, though, if you're going to get all this done and

the house painted by tomorrow night. Right.

Hey,

Pop, how you doing?

I'm doing fine.

Why don't you somewhere do in time?

Say, Papa, who is that?

Oh, that's our employee, son. He's working for us.

He's not working for us. He's working for you. He's doing the inventory, isn't

he? Among other things.

What other things?

Like painting the house and cleaning up the yard and fixing the garage.

And how much are you paying him for all this?

You're going to love this, son.

How much?

Ten bucks.

Oh, man. Ten bucks to paint the house and clean up the yard and fix the fence?

That's what I said, lefty. Ten bucks.

How much you pay for his ball and his chain?

Hey, Pop, $10 is nothing.

It's nothing to you, Mr. Rockefeller.

But for him, it means Christmas presents for his mother and father.

And if I like his work, tomorrow I give him his $10 and a Christmas bonus.

What kind of a bonus?

Big smile and a firm handshake.

Say, well, look here, Pop, why don't you slide this up on your tree?

What is it? It's a Christmas present from me to you.

Oh, I don't want that under my tree. Set my tree on fire so hot.

What's the matter with you? Rallo's trying to give you a Christmas present.

I don't want his present, and he don't need his pass, and nobody wants to see

him in the future.

Say, look here, man. Why don't you take it, Lamont? Merry Christmas. Merry

Christmas, brother.

Hey, Pop, what's the matter with you, man? I think it was nice of Raul to

include you on his Christmas list.

I don't want to be on his list as long as he's on the wanted list.

You got that kid out there working for nothing, man, all these hours doing all

this stuff. You know, you are Scrooge. This is just like that story Christmas

Carol. What the dickens are you talking about?

That's something for me with the story, huh?

Yeah, it's a story about the true spirit of Christmas.

That's right.

It's about this guy that worked real hard for his old gray -haired boss so

he could get rich and have a Merry Christmas. I don't want to hear any more

this.

I'm kind of sleepy, son.

Naturally, you've been over -resting.

Well, I'm going to take a nap.

Why don't you have the kid do that for you, too?

Quiet, Lamar.

Shut up over there, kid.

It is me, the spirit of Christmas past.

Oh, well, look here.

I give you $3 for them chains.

It is me.

It isn't me.

It's today.

It's yesterday.

It's all things to all people, for I am what was.

Uh, could you say that in English?

Come with me, Fred Sanford.

Uh,

go with him.

Into your past. Perhaps another time.

No!

It's a good time.

You're the spirit of St.

Louis.

Who's that?

That's my mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy. She can't hear you.

She can hear me, but she just won't listen because I always lied.

Fredzie, come on.

Fredzie. That means she used to call me Fredzie.

That's right. She's calling you.

Yes, mother?

Did you bring back the bread? Yes, ma 'am. I got it.

And someday I'll sell it for junk and make lots of money.

Because that's what the future of this country is coming to.

Junk.

Really?

You'll see.

I'm going to be a millionaire and buy you things, Mommy.

I'm going to buy you diamond rings and fur coats.

And your own brand new windshield wipers.

Oh, baby.

You've got to get some sleep.

Because Santa Claus is coming tonight.

He don't want to find you wait, because if he does, he won't leave you anything.

Okay.

Mommy, I didn't buy you anything for Christmas.

Oh, honey, that's all right.

Mommy don't really need anything.

Get me awake in the spirit.

Why, don't you like seeing your mommy?

Yeah, but I don't like seeing me.

See, I didn't spend all that money on the windshield wiper. I spent half of it

on the windshield wiper.

And the other half, I bought candy with him. And you never told your mother?

No. And I could have brought her a present.

Take me home, Spirit.

Okay. Follow me.

Goodbye, Mommy.

Take me away from here.

Take me away from here.

Take me away from here.

Wake up.

Wake up, Fred Sanford.

Oh, I'm glad I was... Only dreaming. You know, I dreamt that... Come

with me.

Uh -uh. I've been out once tonight.

Come with me.

I'll do the driving.

No cars, Fred Sanford. We'll travel on the clouds above the stars in the

sky.

Uh -uh. I ain't smoking none of that stuff.

the spirit of Christmas present.

Come with me.

I'm coming with you.

You should.

These are all your friends.

Friends? Yes.

The people that care about you and the people that you care about.

Who do I care about?

I don't know who I care about.

Then don't you think it's time you started to care about someone?

I know that lad.

That belongs to Queen Kong.

That's on Esther.

Listen.

Thank you, Spirit.

For what?

But then, listen and not look.

Because I can't stand the sight of them. Quiet.

Gee, Esther, it was nice of you to invite me over for eggnog.

It's the spirit of Christmas, Donna.

Love for your fellow man.

Say,

Esther, ain't there a poppin' Lamont coming? Thank you, Donna. No, I didn't

invite Fred.

Why? Because he doesn't have the Christmas spirit.

I wanted Lamont to come, but he didn't want to come because he didn't want to

embarrass his father.

I would have gone, but she didn't invite me. I really would have gone.

Out of love or to insult her?

Both.

Because I love to insult her.

It was nice of you to buy Fred a Christmas gift, Esther.

Yeah, especially after all the insults he heathed on you.

Well, the Lord said turn to other cheeks.

Her cheeks look just alike.

All four of them.

You know, I don't understand, Pop.

I bet when he was a kid, he used to send poison pen letters to Santa Claus.

Oh, Fred ain't that bad, Rollo.

Why you want to stick up for him, Bubba? He's always calling you stupid, dumb,

mindless, and foolish.

I know it.

But at least he doesn't insult me.

And Bubba's right.

I'm never nice to him. And he's always trying to be nice to me.

To the Fred G.

Stammer.

Don't be nice to me.

Please, don't be nice to me.

You know, I have a feeling it'll be all right.

I don't deserve it.

Don't be nice to me. Take me away from here. I want to go, spirit.

I want to go.

Take me away.

Oh, no.

I don't deserve it.

Too many dreams.

Too bad dreams.

Would you care to try for three?

Oh, are you the spirit of Liberace?

I am the spirit of Christmas future.

Christmas present and Christmas past just left.

If you hurry, you can catch them.

I'm coming.

Follow me.

Follow you.

Follow me.

This is your future, Fred Sanford.

That's me?

All alone?

No son? No friends?

And do you know why?

No deodorant?

No?

No generosity? No love? No Christmas?

Spirit. No kidding.

No kidding.

I don't want to see no more.

Get me away from here. I don't want to see no more. Get me out of here.

I don't like him.

I don't like him.

I don't like him.

I don't like him.

I don't like him.

I don't like him. You don't like who, Mr. Sampson?

Uh, him. Me.

Sir.

Spirit. He's drunk.

Mr. Sanford?

Yeah.

Who told you to stop working? Oh, I'm sorry.

It was me that told you to stop working. That's who.

It was me. Stop working.

Are you okay, Mr. Sanford? Of course I'm okay.

And you're going to have the finest Christmas you ever had in your life.

Here. Here's 20 bucks.

It was 10, Mr. Sanford.

20.

Where's your Christmas spirit?

Small finish, Pop.

And thanks a lot for my smoking jacket.

That's okay.

Hey, you know, sometimes you amaze me, Pop.

Why? Well, giving Ron that $20 and telling him he didn't have to come back

work. Well, it's cringeland.

Yeah. But there's one thing I don't understand, Pop. What's that, Pop?

Well, you said that you weren't going to let me have my presents until my

birthday. And my birthday isn't until February.

Well... Just to go along with it, I know what I'm doing, sir. I know that, Pop,

but, you know, when all my friends ask me what kind of presents I got for

Christmas, I'm gonna feel silly telling them I'm not getting them until

February. I know, but, see, I work wonders in many ways.

Come in.

Welcome, and Merry Christmas.

Thank you, sir.

Sir, where you get that old sir stuff?

It's friendly.

What? I just wanted you to meet my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Small.

How are you? Mr. Stanford, the nicest man in the world, and the subtle of

Hello, how are you? Yes.

Have a seat, Mrs. Small. Thank you. Say, you know, you have a nice son here. He

really loves you. It was nice of you to overpay him, but to give him all those

gifts for all of us, well... Gifts?

Well, I got to leave now. Ta -ta.

Goodbye, Mr. Stanford. Thank you. Before you leave, what's your first name, Mrs.

Small? Bob. Robert.

Oh, well, I thought it might be Lou, because I see that L on your tie.

Well, that's one of the gifts your father sent over.

He explained to Ron that stands for love.

That's right. That's what Freddie explained.

Freddie said that, huh?

And these cufflinks you have here, Ron, with Ls on them, I guess that was a gift

from him, too, huh?

Sure was.

Uh -huh. Well, of course, I'm familiar with that Ls. That must stand for his

famous slogan. I'm familiar with it, but...

Just for the heck of it. What did you mean again?

Oh, it's his way of life. His philosophy.

Yes, and I loved it.

He even put it on the box of handkerchiefs he got for me.

C -L -S.

Love somebody.

Merry

Christmas, son.

Merry Christmas, Pop.

And remember, love somebody.

Gee, Esther, it was nice of you to invite me over for eggnog. It's the

Christmas, Donna.

Love for your fellow man.

Is Lamont and Pop coming?

No, I didn't invite Fred. Why?

Because he doesn't have the Christmas spirit.

I wanted Lamont to come, but he didn't want to come because he didn't want to

embarrass his father.

It was nice of you to buy Fred a Christmas gift, Esther.

Here's to Fred G. Sanford. To Fred G. Sanford.

Yeah.

Come in.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Oh, Fred, I'm so glad to see you.

You're a little late for dinner, Eggnog.

I am. Well, I'm too late for the Christmas carol. Not until the clock

Good. Go ahead, start one, Fred. No, I don't want to sing nothing. A -flat.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Jack Frost missing.

Used by Carol. And sung by a choir.

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows.

A turkey and some mistletoe.

Helps to make the season bright.

Tiny Tots with their eyes on the globe will find it hard to sleep

tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way.

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.

And every mother's child is gonna spy to see if

reindeer really know how to fly.

So I'm offering this simple phrase to kids

from 1 to 92.

Although it's been said many times, Many ways.