All language subtitles for Sanford & Son s04e18 The Masquerade Party

Gas bill.

Light bill.

Light bill.

Telephone bill.

Light bill.

Telephone bill.

Jet.

The Steinmetz Collection, 80.

Yes, sir.

Your overdue account has been referred
to us by several companies.

Undoubtedly, you have been throwing your
bills away.

Oh,

my goodness.

Gee whiz, I must have overlooked these
bills.

See, it's the first of the month again.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, uh, are you ready?

Ready for what?

Ready to watch Wheel and Dealer. You
invited me over, remember?

And I even went and got a little
refreshments.

I got some red and some white.

Here's some red.

And some popcorn.

Yeah, well, turn on the TV, Brady. Maybe
it'll cheer me up.

Okie dokie.

unusual. The program that picks its
contestants right out of the studio

and gives them a chance to win the most
expensive prizes in the world. In the

world, Fred, in the world.

Who's going to win the quadraphonic
stereo?

Who? Who's going to win the speedboat?

Who? Who's going to win that trip to
Italy?

Who? Who, Fred, who?

Who? Who?

Not you, Al.

That's why. Well, it doesn't bother me.

I go home every night and dream that I
won me a speedboat and

I'm going down the river with the
speedboat and the stereo playing on my

way to Rome or Italy.

Grady, Rome isn't Italy.

Wow. Well, now is the time to go.

It's Lamont's birthday.

And I don't want to hear nothing about
all them presents like that because I

want to get him something nice. You know
what I mean?

Well, Fred, what about two years ago
when you registered his name at the 31

Flavors and they gave him a free Tutti
Frutti? Now, that was nice.

What do you say, Fred?

Fred is worried, Bubba, that he can't
get Lamar something nice for his

What happened? Did they run out of Tutti
Frutti?

Listen, Bubba.

Will you do me a favor?

Yeah, anything, Fred.

Listen, I got a turkey in the oven.

Yeah? Lay down next to it.

We're missing will and deal. It's almost
over now.

Oh, forget about that.

Hey, if you want to see that show, I can
get you tickets.

Shut up, Bubba. Now, don't you know Fred
by now?

If he doesn't want to sit here and watch
it on the television, you know he

doesn't want to go down there and watch
it in person.

Now, just use your head, Bubba.

Yeah, Bubba, I think I want to go down
there.

Now, that's using your head.

See, I can go down there and win some
presents for Lamar.

My cousin was supposed to go, but her
baby's due any time now.

We can use her tickets. They're good
tomorrow night.

Hey, that'd be perfect, Bubba.

We could go on down there, and then
three of us would go down, and anything

win, we could give it to Lamont for his
birthday present. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, Fred, I can't go.

I don't have a costume.

Hey, Grady's right, Fred.

You know, if we want to be picked, we're
going to have to be dressed in

something real crazy and weird.

for a speedboat and a refrigerator and a
trip to Italy where I can sit with my

spaghetti and pasta time away.

Listen, uh, here's one thing we gotta
get straight, though, Brady.

Whatever we win is for Lamont.

Oh, but Fred, I wanted to go to Rome so
I could be with Gina under the bridge of

the... Hey, listen.

That's Lamont coming down. Now, don't
you say nothing about this. We're going

keep it a secret from him, yeah? Okay.
Hey, I tell you what we're going to do.

We're going to sneak out the back, and
we'll meet you down at the costume place

over on Melrose, okay?

Okay. That's a good idea.

Come on.

Simon and Pop.

Hey, Simon.

What's happening, Pop?

World War III.

World War III.

Yeah, why else would they let you out of
jail?

Hey, man, right now, Porn Rallo, Papi's
been helping me all day to arrange

things for my birthday party, man, and
I'd appreciate it. Birthday?

No kidding.

It's your birthday.

Well, I'll be doggone. You're having a
birthday. Come on, man. You know

tomorrow's my birthday, Papi. And
remember, you promised that you was

bring the decorations and the food and
the liquor.

Your birthday.

My, how time flies.

Seems like only last year it was your
birthday.

It fell on your birthday.

It's my birthday party and I... You
know, decorations.

You know, booms.

You know, fool, what kind of party is
this going to be?

Hey, Pop, would you get in here?

Ain't no decorations and no booze and no
food.

Oh,

Lamont, you look

so handsome.

Thank you, Ernest.

Hey, Lamont. Huh? I would like for you
to meet Brenda, my man.

Uh... Hi.

Hello, Lamont.

Hi.

Say, man, where's all the party
decoration and where's your old man?

Hi.

Huh? Uh, he, uh... Can I get anybody
anything?

Oh, sure. I'm starved. I'd give
anything, anything for an enderman to

I'll kill him.

I'll give you $200 if it's a wig.

You will?

Here's your $200. Congratulations.

My, my, what a good -looking group we've
got to trade with today.

Look here, Harry.

You, sir, would you stand up, please,
and give us your name?

My name is Leif Erickson, and I'm a
Viking.

Okay, Viking, look. You see what I have
in my hand here? Two, three, four, five

brand -new... $100 bill.

Of course it's here. Why do you think
I'm staying here drooling?

And I'll give them all to you if you
have a tube of lipstick.

A tube of lipstick?

What would I do with a tube of lipstick?

See?

See?

The guy down at the costume place told
me to wear this underneath all this

or else it'll turn my chest green.

I'm sorry, Viking, and you're hurting my
wrist.

Wait a minute now, Harry. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I gotta win something.

Come on now. Look, my buddies must have
got lost or something, but they should

be here most any time now.

Look, Viking, I'll give you a dollar if
you put your bra back on and sit down.

What lovely young couple did we pick
here?

Oh, hi, Harry.

I'm Cinderella.

And I'm a blonde, and if you touch my
wand, I'll give you a big kiss.

And who are you?

I'm Fred G. Sanford, and G is for
gorilla.

Are you comfortable in that thing?

Are you getting comfortable?

You ever try to go to the bathroom in an
ape suit?

I'm going to go outside and see if
there's a mushroom up over this house,

because this is a bomb park.

Yeah, you're right, Rollo. There's no
food, no liquor, no decorations.

No chopsticks, man.

And it's all my father's fault.

Oh, that's him now, I bet.

He's in a cab, too.

Oh, no, that is Dap Sugar Willie.

Hey, baby, what's happening?

You? Let me find it.

Take it back.

My man.

Hey, everybody.

Don't get up.

Hey, Dap, sugar, I want you to tell
me... No names. No names, please.

If this party turns out to be as good as
I think it should, I won't be able to

tell the man.

I don't know nobody.

Well, you got it, stranger.

That's cool.

Hey, wait and show me where the food's
at. I'm starving.

There ain't no food at this party. You
gotta be kidding.

You joking?

Don't fool me.

Come on, not even cooking.

Okay, fellas, let's play wheel and deal.

I have here for you, Fred, a large box.

Get the box. I'll take the girl.

Now, Fred, you remember this is for
Lamont.

Oh, yeah, for Lamont. Well, I'll take it
Sunday the weekend.

won't tell you, Fred, what's inside the
box, but the clue is fun every night.

The clue just walked off.

Now, Fred, you can keep what's inside
the box or you can wheel and deal for

what's behind curtain number one, and
that clue is air.

It's up to you, Fred.

Air. Air and curtain.

Curtain and air.

Breath. Breath. Bad breath.

A year's supply of mouthwash.

No, no. No, no, no, no, Brett. You take
the box. The box.

You sure, Grady? I'm positive, Brett.
It's the box. The box.

I'll take the box. The box is yours. But
before we show you what you've got in

the box, let's see what you turned down
behind curtain number one.

A brand new...

I can see him now parked up there on
Mull Island Drive with a pretty girl and

kissing her.

Then if it got cloudy, he could put the
top up so it couldn't rain on his beret.

I'm so sorry, Fred. I'm sorry.

Dumb blonde, you.

Now, Fred, let's see what you've won in
the box.

Lindsay.

See what color the Walters are.

Oh, come on, Gritty. Help me carry this.
Hey, hey, hold it, Fred. It's not over

yet. It's time now for your big wheeling
deal.

Now you can keep the 21 -inch color
television set or you can trade it in

what's behind curtain number two.

It's up to you, Fred G. Sanford.

Yeah, it's up to me.

because there could be a zonk behind
that curtain. Yeah, yeah. See, and

likes TV, but you don't watch as much as
I do.

I already got TV, but I might wind up
with nothing, Grady.

I see TV in the curtain. No, no, no.
Fred, Fred, Fred, you take the TV

that's what you wanted your whole life.

My whole life. I ain't even lived my
whole life yet, Grady.

And besides, I got to get something nice
for Lamont.

Hey, Grady, I'm going to take out the TV
in the curtain.

Oh.

Listen.

What's behind that curtain there?

I can't tell you that. Tell me what? You
what?

I can't tell you that.

What are you, a bigot?

It's up to you, and there's only one way
to find out. What?

The box or the curtain.

Well, I ain't taking no chances.

Oh, hold on. Hold on. You can't go.

No, you keep the present, Brenda. I
don't want it.

Why? Because I want the package that it
comes in.

I'm not interested.

Not interested? I'm not interested, man.
We was having a good time until you

came barging in here.

We was still having a good time, and
everybody's happy, and Esther's smiling.

Only you can't tell it because her face
is in front of me.

I don't want to hear any more of this,
okay?

See, see, son?

Grady and... I said I don't want to hear
about it. No, but see, we went down to

the TV station. I don't care about it.
Would you stop it?

Now, just stop it, man. You just
couldn't let me have one day out of the

to get attention for myself. You had to
spoil it. You didn't even do what you

said you was going to do, Pop.

I don't want to hear nothing, man. You
spoiled my birthday.

And now look what happened.

Everybody's leaving, man. Ain't nobody
left at my party.

What have you got to say about that?

Well... Here's your present.

I don't want it. You keep it.

wrong, Cinderella.

I ruined my son's most important date,
and I don't know what to do.

Cinderella, can I borrow your slipper?

What's it going to do with that, Fred?

I'm going to drink out of it. If that
don't kill me, nothing will.

I'm all alone now.

It's all my fault.

Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you,
honey.

I messed up my son's most important
date.

I failed him.

Lamont, it's you.

Hey, Pop.

I want to talk to you about something.

Yeah, I know.

You're leaving.

No. I want to just ask you to send a few
bucks to the caretaker so he can keep

the pigeons off my tombstone.

Look, Pop, I found the present that you
gave me, and I opened it. You found it?

Yeah, and... After you fell asleep,
Brady called me and told me why you did

you did.

Cinderella did that?

Yeah.

Well, I don't know why Brady don't mind
his own business.

Look, and I apologize, Pop. I really
feel awful, man.

That's okay, son. I forgive you. You
know what?

What? You're a pretty mellow old dude,
man. I'm lucky to have a father like

You mean that?

Yeah. You mean like Ozzy was to Ricky?

Shucks. Well, listen, let me see how
that watch looks on you.

Oh, uh, I sold the watch, Pop.

You sold my present?

Yeah, man, a diamond watch is too fancy
for me, see, so I sold it and I got a

cheaper one.

Plus, I had a few bucks left over. A
few?

A few?

You must have had enough money left over
to buy a... A new present for you?

A present?

A present for me? Mm -hmm.

That's my present? Yeah. Oh, you didn't
have to get me nothing.

What is it? Let me see that.

It's a remote control switch for a brand
new color television.

Hey, son, this is really nice. But what
good is it without the television?

It used to be like giving head and
shoulders to Isaac Hayes.

Stay tuned for the second half of Love
of Living. Go inside and take a look,

Pop. Huh?

What?

No, you didn't.

You didn't give me a color television.
Yeah.

Oh, son, I don't know what to say.

only that you're blocking the picture.

Oh, wow, look at that color tongue.

Hey, look, hit that button over there,
and that changes the stations.

Hello, Lucy.

Hello, Johnny Green Giant.

Goodbye, Tiny Bowl.

And press that other button, Pop, and
that turns it on and off.

I'm going to try to be a better father
for you, son.

I mean it. And I'm going to even invite
Aunt Sophia to watch TV with me. Really?

Yeah. And then I'm going to click this
right in her face and see if I can

the way it looks.