Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, it is really a great honor for me to stand before you

accept the Bounty Hunter of the Year Award.

And as I stand here before you, so many cases flash before my eyes. Cases that

exemplify the Sixkiller commitment to quality bounty hunting.

Oh, please.

Will you not interrupt?

I've been working on this thing all week.

Yes, the risks facing a bounty hunter are great, but the rewards are even

greater. Not the financial rewards, ladies and gentlemen, but the rewards

have no price tag.

Keeping our city streets safe, working together with our law enforcement

brethren. Wait a minute.

I think there's a shovel around here somewhere.

Don't interrupt.

Sorry. You see, this leads directly into my anecdotal illustration.

Anecdotal illustration.

Obviously, you know nothing about speech writing.

Ma.

Mm.

Ma. Mm.

A perfect case, ladies and gentlemen, is the day that I went after the infamous

Luther Latigo, a .k .a. Felipe Grossman.

I had him staked out in a warehouse.

Naturally, he tried to run.

Hey, hey, Luther Latigo!

Wait, this is all wrong.

You're forgetting something.

Oh, that's right. The $2 ,000 repair bill on the Hummer. I'll put it in.

I mean, you didn't catch him.

Well, I caught him the next day.

And when you finally did, you realized he was a setup.

He wanted you to chase him.

Don't go there, okay? Don't even go near there. In fact, he was hired to let you

catch him. So you see.

Sorry.

I don't even have a speech.

I'm the bounty hunter of the year.

Okay? See, many crickets want to be abducted in their hall of fame.

It lasted two hours, and I don't even have a speech.

Nothing.

He was a cop and good at his job, but he committed the ultimate sin and

testified against other cops gone bad.

Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead.

Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands, an outlaw hunting outlaws, a

bounty hunter.

renegade

Bobby, come on. You've got a couple of hours left to make up another case.

It took me weeks just to figure out the right imagery.

The perfect phrases.

Andy, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

Robert?

Didn't you tell me it was black tie?

Got a little black in my tie right here, look. Oh, sure. I'm sure we can find a

magnifying glass around here somewhere.

Actually, we're still choosing the right outfit. And the right acceptance

speech. I thought you wrote that a week ago.

It required some modifications.

Modifications? I got nothing. I got zip. Nada. Bupkis.

Imagine that Bobby Thickkiller speech list. That'll pack him in for sure.

That's it. I'm not going.

You're the main event.

Oh, come on. How difficult can it be to write a speech?

Robert Sixkiller.

Bounty hunter extraordinaire.

Okay. Who's your biggest bounty?

All right.

I've got it.

The most famous and biggest bounty of them all.

I used to smoke, drink, dance.

I used to smoke and drink.

Smoke and drink and dance. Oh,

yeah.

Thank you.

I don't know how to thank you, man. They could have killed me.

Come here, you.

Hey!

Who are you?

Well, a lot of folks just call me the king.

I used to lie.

I used to cheat.

You're going to stand in front of a room full of people and tell them that you

caught Elvis.

It's the truth.

Uh, not exactly.

The Elvis?

Alive? No, the guy was alive.

But, uh, unfortunately, he wasn't, uh... The can, baby.

My speech will write itself.

Sorry to shoot you down, man, but the guy wasn't Elvis.

Well, we thought he was Elvis, and it's good enough. It's perfect.

You know, I really prefer the younger Elvis look myself.

Well, what about, uh, but, uh... No!

This is hopeless.

Robert.

Look, I saw your videotape. I mean, there must be thousands of cases you can

choose from.

Hey, there's an idea.

Why don't you just show them your videotape?

Wait a minute. How could I forget?

I caught the biggest prize of the century.

If you tell me the alien from Weekly World News, I'm leaving.

There you go. I caught the bounty hunter's dream.

The bounty of all bounties.

D .B.

Cooper.

Hello.

Had to get real slow there.

Dino, you all right?

So, uh, that's the famous outlaw, huh? Sorry to disappoint you. You take D .B.

Cooper here, half the world's gonna think it's a hoax.

You'll have to sue to collect now.

Somehow, I don't think that's your style.

You got a weapon behind you?

Drop it. No, Reno, you can't.

All right? You too, Bobby.

Not in a million, Bobby.

Do it.

Come on, man.

Okay, I'm coming forward.

Let her go.

Okay, let her go.

Well, look at that.

You know, that was pretty heroic what you did. Well, guess what? I've changed

mind. I'll have the both of you.

Hey, old buddy, come on up here. Join the party.

Bad idea, Bobby.

Now, just a damn minute.

He ain't D .B. Cooper.

I am.

You freeze.

No, he's not.

Ask me anything. I'm D .B. Cooper.

Everybody just shut up. I'm going to drop all of you.

Don't suppose you believe that I'm D .B. Cooper.

Don't listen to these guys. I'm D .B. Cooper.

No, he isn't. I am.

I am.

Oh, hello.

You okay, partner? Yeah.

Listen,

you are the real D .B. Cooper, right?

Yeah.

I don't remember seeing any of that in your video.

Well, I left it up.

Yeah, for a good reason.

We let him go.

Yeah, but it still works for my speech. We caught him.

Bobby, you can't talk about D .B. Cooper to a room full of bounty hunters, okay?

They're going to split before you finish your speech. Head up to Pine Creek to

nail the guy.

Think he'd mind?

Look at the positive side, Robert.

What positive side?

Time's ticking away.

And my best friend here, Mr. Party Poover, he's knocking down all my good

Not on purpose, okay?

Come on.

Put our heads together. We can think of another case.

I've got it.

The real McCoy.

He's no faker.

He's not hiding. And we really did catch him.

Him who?

The heavyweight champion of the world.

You are big.

Strong, too.

You're coming with me.

You and what army, Chuck?

Give me my keys.

I don't think so.

Grab some of that trunk.

All I wanted was my keys.

Bobby, can I bring up one small detail?

Don't. No, no, just one little point. Say it.

One of those bitsy little... Shut up.

The champ was innocent.

Yeah, but we didn't know that at the time. And let me tell you something,

was a real tough case.

Reno took the best the champ could possibly dish out. No protection, no

no... No criminal, no bounty, no speech.

What is with you, anyway?

Sorry.

Reno's right, Bobby.

Your speech has to be entertaining and enlightening and has to be about you.

But it has to be true.

You've got to tell the truth.

I'm doomed.

Tell the truth.

Perfect.

Well, what's wrong with this?

Nothing, if you want to go alone.

Well, you see, red is a power color.

And I need all the color I can get, considering I'm going to give them a

colorless speech.

You know, Robert, maybe we're going about this all wrong.

Sandy's right. A case doesn't need star power to be exciting.

Hmm.

So what you're saying is maybe I could...

substitute sheer adventure, heart -stopping action.

Right, now you're talking.

Exactly. I mean, instead of going for the biggest bounty, go for the toughest.

Kind of show them my physical prowess, my stamina, my ability to walk that

tightrope of danger.

So, who was your toughest bounty?

Curly cannon.

You got to get them out of there. Well, I know that.

You got any ideas?

Yeah, you know what? Underneath your seat's an emergency box.

There's some flares in there. Grab them.

Okay, got it. Now what? Well, then I'll pull alongside the armored car and you

jump up on top.

While we're moving?

Yeah, you can handle that.

Then what do you want me to do?

Take the flare and you jump it through the porthole and then you'll smoke them

out. It's an old Indian trick. Next time I get to drive.

Where is my blue and gold jacket? Because I no longer lead with a

that. This red one.

Why not?

Well, because I no longer need to overcompensate with my clothes.

I need to be more authoritative, respectable, cop -like.

You look like a security guard from the Liberace Museum.

You women have it so easy. Show a little cleavage and a lot of leg and boom,

you're home free. We men have to use our wardrobe more subliminally.

Subliminal? That's about as subliminal as...

An elephant in your living room.

Actually, no, I think it's perfect.

It is?

Let me stay out of this. No, seriously.

It'll distract him from the fact that the whole cape centered on Bobby locking

up the real sheriff when he mistook Curly for a cop.

Must we dwell on this subject matter?

Well, I'm sure anybody could have made that mistake.

Hey, I can recall a couple mistakes you made too, pal.

Remember Joey Highcastle?

you lived?

Well, you must really pay to stay in shape. That's amazing.

What's really amazing is how quickly I got his bike fixed for him.

Oh, you're right. Robert, that is very sweet. I can't imagine anything worse.

I'll give you worse. He chased a bounty that makes Joey Hadcock look like Pee

Wee Herman.

Oh, yeah?

Who could that be?

The very elusive, very tricky Bonnie Treadwell.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Well, Sheila, this is it. I am out of here. Bonnie Treadwell is history.

You hang in there.

I'll see you around.

Bonnie Treadwell?

Nope, Bonnie Bradley.

Not according to this.

Practical joke, right?

Wrong. Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

I got a ticket.

A speeding ticket.

Yeah, then you slugged the cop that gave it to you.

Look, I'm headed back to California tomorrow. I'll fix this mess when I get

there. I don't think you understand. See, you jumped bail. It's my job to

you back.

No, you cannot buy me a beer. Get your hands off me.

I will not go out with you. I don't like you. I never liked you. You're an

animal. Don't do this.

Leon! Leon!

Help!

You got a problem here? No, not at all.

Not unless you consider forcing yourself on an unconfident woman a problem.

Start without these.

What are you doing?

What? What are you doing?

Listen, if you don't let me go, I'll... You'll what? Call the cops?

I don't think so.

Hey,

wait a minute. What are you, crazy?

You can get on or you can get dragged along. I would get on.

You know, it would have been a lot easier on my friend here if he didn't

this little silly rule about not slapping women.

Well, I tell you what, the next time that happens, you call me, because I am

equal opportunity smacker.

Yeah, yeah, she was tough, but I'm not so sure you want to stand up in front of

all your compadres and talk about how you busted Thelma and Louise.

All right, back to the speech. Come on, who was the meanest, the baddest?

Yeah, the roughest, the toughest.

The closer.

Of course.

The closer.

What's a closer?

Not what.

Who? Randy Dupree, armed robber.

Never left a witness.

Closed a lot of lives.

You caught him?

What happened?

Well, I talked to D .A. into reopening my case if I delivered the closer live.

Just need to use your phone.

Sorry, too late.

Oh, come on, man. My car broke down.

Right, triple A.

Congratulations.

You're truly impressed.

I guess we're both good at what we do, huh?

No, I got you with my first shot. How bad did you hit?

I'll live.

How long?

I got all night.

Not if I can help it.

Don't make me do it.

No! That must have been really hard on you. Like the DA said, no good deed goes

unpunished. At least you made the world a little safer.

That's right.

He made the world much safer.

What's wrong now?

No, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

If you were getting this award.

Oh, come on.

Bobby, you were there.

Yeah, I was there hovering in the background.

Reno, you're the one who's always walking the tightrope of danger.

You're the one who's always putting your life... You deserve this award.

Not me.

Don't be ridiculous. You're bounty hunter of the year. You're Bobby

I'm not going.

I need a Valium.

Robert, this isn't funny.

You're telling me?

Look, put on your tux and go get your award.

You can even wear the red one. I don't deserve it. You do.

Oh, like I could even go pick it up.

See, he agrees with me.

I don't agree with you. This is your award.

Only because they don't know about you.

I'm a figurehead. A front man.

A mannequin.

An empty suit.

Sorry. Look, this is ridiculous, okay?

You were a great bounty hunter.

Yeah. And who's the one that made the videotape that inspired me to pursue my

dream? Well, you see, that's my whole problem.

I know I look good on film, but he does everything.

Come on.

What can I do that you can't do?

You ride a motorcycle much better than I do. You ride?

Not as well as you.

And I don't even want to tell you what this man can do on a dirt bike.

Give it up, Lenny.

give it up it's over

Okay, so what if Reno is amazing on a bike? You've got the Hummer. Yeah, and

you've pulled some amazing stunts in that beast.

You see?

You each have your own vehicular specialties.

Oh, yeah, so what? I'm a madman behind the wheels, so what, right?

This is California. All drivers are nuts.

Besides, Mr. Everything Here isn't limited to land -crawling machines.

Land -crawling machines?

Yeah, put them in a boat or a chopper or both.

What?

What happened?

Just wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it.

Come on, let's get you dressed.

What's your room plus we get there? I don't need cheering up. I need your help

to rectify the situation.

You don't have to put a brave front on for me. I can take it.

What front?

Well, I know how you must feel.

Me getting the award, the recognition, the fame that you so richly deserve.

Because I have a knack for bikes and boats?

Bobby, this is an award for bounty hunting.

You taught me everything I know on the subject, so you go get the award.

With my blessing.

Really, Robert, the award isn't about your skill with machinery.

Machinery?

If it only stopped there, I could agree with you, but... But what?

Have you ever seen this man on a horse?

What happened?

They were saddling Leviathan and he spooked. Now his saddle slipped down.

That'll get Finney looser. He's going to catch a damn hook on it.

What the hell does he think he's doing?

Wow. Will you take me riding sometime?

Sandy, the speech.

The speech. Right. The speech. Okay. I already told you there's not going to be

a speech because I'm not going.

I can't do that to you, brother.

But I want you to. Wait a minute. You promised me a great night out.

And I paid a lot of money for this dress.

Sandy, how could we be thinking about money in Reno's darkest hour?

Bobby, this is not my darkest hour.

What could be worse?

Being convicted of murder, going to jail.

Well, that sounds like the darkest hour.

Are you kidding?

This guy's so amazing, not even jail can keep him down.

Great. I can hear my speech now.

I'll always treasure this bounty of the year. I mean, bounty hunter of the year

award.

Laugh all you want.

But I just realized how lucky I truly am.

Good. Good.

So now you can get dressed.

No.

Reno, I rode the coattails of your success to fame and fortune, even to

award.

Can you ever forgive me?

Look, Bobby, if you want to wallow in self -pity, go right ahead. But don't

me as an excuse, okay?

Wallow self -pity? I'm righteously upset for you.

Well, don't be, okay? Look, I know you're under a lot of pressure to write

speech and all, but... It's this pressure that led me to the hard -won

that... That we're partners?

That we're two halves of a whole? A team?

And a damn fine one.

Is it news to you?

Well, it's just when I was looking back, all I could see is you and all these

special things and... We're both special.

Okay? And when you and I work together, it's like... Magic.

I guess that's kind of corny.

But as a team, you guys are magic.

I don't know. I still think Reno deserves the trophy.

Well, I can't go get it, okay? But you can. So go.

And if you think I deserve a small portion of it, then I'm honored, okay?

Now will you get dressed?

I second that.

No, this team or thing, you guys are just trying to cheer me up. Oh, jeez.

Give me a break. I have been watching the two of you together day in and day

out. Look, if you need a specific example, let me just remind you of a

bomb that we helped defuse which saved the federal building.

And blue to purple.

Now, hit the... Timer.

How long?

Three minutes should do it.

Three minutes?

It doesn't leave us much time.

Less chance it'll get found and fewer people get evacuated.

Freeze!

FBI, you're under arrest.

Hey, uh, take it easy, man.

We're working on the air conditioning.

Want to see our work orders?

No, I want you to get up against that wall right there. Now move.

You know, there are some days when I really hate this job.

Go!

Go, Ned! Ned, go pick up! Tell them I did a good job. Hurry!

Hurry!

Good job. Coast is clear. Come on.

Wait a minute. That's a bomb. I'm going to let you handle this.

Don't you go anywhere.

Well, come on. Do something.

I'm thinking.

Go ahead. Take your time.

If you didn't know, there's a million dollar bounty on the guys who broke the

post office.

I would like to live long enough to spend it.

Do you mind?

Okay. It was the color of the rainbow backwards.

The last color was purple.

Blue?

That doesn't convince you.

Well, I admit it. I am a good bounty hunter. Hey, hey, hey. A giant leap for

mankind. But... No buts.

You are bounty hunter of the year.

Get dressed for Pete's sake.

Yeah, but I still feel like a fraud.

Look, I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. And I don't mean free

walking around.

I mean alive.

Then why do I feel like you're driving and I'm a passenger?

What about that time in Mexico you saved my life? You were definitely driving

then.

Sort of.

What a ride.

Alone again.

Shy!

Shy! Hey, Bobby!

Hey, did they give you a nice room?

Isn't this a great place?

The doc's gonna fix my face.

What if they pump into you?

He says I would look like Cary Graham.

Sticky, sticky.

Sammy!

What are you doing here?

This is the guy who's supposed to rescue me? I don't think so.

Yeah, I know them.

You should have seen the look on the doctor's face.

Well, that sounds like fun. I wish I could have been there.

Yeah, that was kind of funny.

But you were drugged.

I was shown by reason of sobriety.

You are a knucklehead.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Reno. I mean it.

Now, I value our friendship.

I do, too.

So it's hard for me when you undervalue all that you've done for me.

You've helped me out as many times as I've helped you out.

Really? Really.

Remember when you were bragging about the way I escaped from that prison?

Well, it would have all been for nothing if you weren't there ready with a plan

to help save my life.

This is the California Highway Patrol.

Put your hands on the vehicle and breathe.

contact with the fugitive. He's in a black Hummer heading south on Camino

Road.

Air One to you, Penn and Dixon. We are in pursuit of maintaining visual

We estimate you are approximately two miles south of the suspect's vehicle and

right on course.

Just keep pushing him toward us, then we'll take over.

Roger that.

We'll take it from here.

Put him on the hood, Bobby.

Hi, Lieutenant.

Put him on the hood!

Okay, sure.

How's this? How's this right here? Huh?

Not in the Hummer, Dutch.

Where's Reno?

Reno. Uh, Reno, Reno, Reno.

Reno who?

Give me a pass pocket.

I wouldn't do that, Lieutenant.

Unless you want to face brutality charges.

an awesome plan what if i do say so myself i wish i could have seen dixon's

when you nailed him to outwit dutch dixon the helicopters the cops how could

possibly think you don't deserve bounty hunter of the year well if you put it

that way and if i forgot then i'd like to thank you for everything

back at you buddy oh go ahead do that male

bonding hug thing what you know On the back.

Go on, I want a look.

That was so much fun.

Your speech was very to the point.

Well, thanks, too abrupt.

No, no, you got your point across.

You just didn't elaborate.

It was too short.

It was sweet.

I just like that darling Nathan Wayne. Thanks for introducing me. Stick with

baby, and I'll introduce you to all the stars of the bounty hunting community.

I think I already know the only two stars that I'll ever want to meet.

Yeah, we do make a great team, don't we?

Yeah, you guys are great together.

No, I meant we.

All three of us.

You include it. Yeah.

Kind of like the Three Musketeers.

Yeah. What's that, Dan?

All for one.

And one for all.