Original subtitles

Can I help you, sir?

I'll bet you can.

Cellular detonator.

I press send, the whole place turns to confetti.

No silent alarms, no foot switches.

Just 10s, 20s, 50s, and 100s. Loose only, no bundling.

Pasta la pasta, I'd like to make a dinner reservation for one.

Her name's Taylor, with a Y.

Thank you.

He was a cop and good at his job, but he committed the ultimate sin and

testified against other cops gone bad.

Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead.

Framed for murder, now he prowls the Badlands, an outlaw hunting outlaws, a

bounty hunter, a renegade.

Come on, Bobby. It's a sit -up.

This is not a sit -up. A sit -up is something that you do on the ground or

your bed. This is torture.

Hi. Hi, Vince.

Bobby Sixkiller.

Oh!

Shame on you. I thought you wanted to get in shape.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to get in shape, all right? I'm going to go ahead and blow

my breakfast. I'm probably going to lose a pound right here.

Oh, please.

Here.

One.

There. Was that so bad?

Yes. So, come on. I want to get up now. All right. Come on.

Don't wait.

Not until you rethink your commitment to total fitness.

You're killing me.

Bye, Vin. Bye.

Come on, get me up, man.

That woman is a work of art, man.

That woman is a piece of work. Now come on, get me up from here.

Yo, Bobby!

Bobby, my man!

Hey, this is great. Now you can look up to me for once.

Get me up.

His trainer, Lake, got him doing extreme sit -ups. Come on, give me up.

Excellent at work.

I do them every morning. You're such a liar. Now, give me up.

Yep. Three sets of a hundred.

Give me up from here. Come on. Calm down.

Now,

I know you didn't come all the way over here to go ahead and critique my

workout, O'Malley. Nope. I came with it.

West Coast Bankers Association.

Red alert?

The Undie Bomber.

The Undie Bomber?

I made that nickname up myself. You like it?

Great. Guy's been sticking up banks.

Claims he's got a bomb in a suitcase.

You know what they found last time? His laundry.

I thought that maybe between the three of us... Wait a minute. Hold it. Stop

right there.

You remember what a great team we make. I do.

We're not a team. We were never a team. We will never be a team.

The D .B. Cooper case, the Henry Travis case, how soon they forget.

Forget? I remember every miserable minute of that D .B. Cooper fiasco.

Anyway, you got bupkis here on this guy.

You don't have a picture. You don't have a reward.

You got nothing.

Ah, but there will be. I used to be a bank vice president.

Was that before you were a dancer with the Bolshoi Ballet?

The reward always follows the red sheet. By day, two max, sides.

I got an inside track.

You see, my cousin, he parks cars with his pastor joint. I don't want to hear

it. Well, hold on a second. It could be big bucks, partner.

For me to hang out with this little mongoose here, I need at least a million

dollar guarantee, okay? Look, ignore him, okay? He's really very fond of you.

I'm not. R2. I'm not. R2.

Hey, fine. I don't need to hang around here and be insulted.

Don't go away, Matt.

Great. When did we start?

We don't.

Just don't go away, Matt.

Matt?

I'm going to get him myself.

I'll take him in and I'll use the reward money to take him to sushi in Tokyo.

Get me out from here.

I'll talk to him. Get me out from here.

I don't know why you let me in here.

What do you think you are?

I like the one with the little wheels on itself.

You?

Doesn't meet my need.

Do you mind? Oh, sure. Not at all. Here you go.

Well, I guess you won't be needing a light then.

Excuse me.

What?

Tony O'Malley, Downey Hunter. And when I take you in, I'm going to be smoking

mac and noodles.

Turn around.

I'm not too late to go quietly.

Are you nuts?

Well, it works sometimes.

Look, you don't want to kill me, Taylor.

Are you sure?

Well, now at least you can hear how I found you.

You're telling me your cousin broke into my car?

He didn't break in. You gave him the keys.

He's the parking fella. It has to look past.

So he ransacked my car. Whatever.

I'll have it.

God knows, I told him to quit.

Why didn't he take the loot?

Actually, he did. Took 250 bucks.

He was hoping he didn't notice.

So this Einstein called you when he figured out I was a bankrupt?

Yeah.

The undie bomb.

What did you just call me? What? You don't like it? All famous cooks get

nicknames.

Undie bomber?

Yeah. I mean, I saw it on the news.

Perfect.

Out!

On your knee.

What are you doing?

What do you think?

You won't feel a thing, I promise.

What, are you going to kill me? What do you want to do that for?

Park my butt in San Quentin for five to fifteen.

You kill me, you'll be in for life.

I'll risk it.

Down. Hey, hey, hey. Look, I won't rat on you. I promise.

Besides, I got a wife. I got two wives and nine kids.

You wouldn't want that on your conscience.

Hey, look.

Why don't you get in your car and drive?

Leave me here.

I'll drop the case. I'll hush it up.

I'll even give you a better nickname.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Don't. Don't. I got friends. They'll pay a lot to save my life. A lot.

How much is a lot?

$25 ,000?

Shoot him.

Shoot who? Tony O'Malley and his obsequious little weasel. I had to pay

pull the trigger.

See? Is it going good?

Why'd I tell you?

How much will you pay me to shoot him?

Hold on for a minute.

Somebody's kidnapped Tony O'Malley. He's gonna hold him for ransom.

And you're turning him down?

All right, I'll give you $5 ,000.

So let him go. Not to kill him.

25K or he dies.

Pay him, Bobby. He means it.

Bobby, don't you dare give me that fellow bounty hunting speech.

Will you forget about that bounty hunter speech, okay? He's our friend. He's

your friend. He's your friend, too. I can't believe you're going to abandon

$25 ,000.

How and when?

I'll get back to you.

I'm proud of you, man.

Don't be. It's an investment.

Tony was right.

There's a $50 ,000 reward on a bank bomber, and I'm investing $25 ,000 that

is a kidnapper.

Get the dough?

Hey, $25 ,000, I don't feel heavier than that, huh?

Next time, get it in singles.

There isn't going to be a next time.

You see, this money is going on a teeny -weeny vacation.

Yes, about the same time tomorrow, it will be back in the vault, working hard

with all its other little friends. Let's hope.

More than hope, pal.

So, what would you like for a nickname?

What would you like for a nickname?

What would you like for a nickname?

Would you shut up?

I'm just trying to be pleasant.

I am your kidnapper, for God's sakes. Why would you be pleasant with me?

Because I'm a pleasant person.

So what were you going to say?

So now you want to know?

Okay, okay.

I was asking, so what would you like for a nickname?

Me? Yeah, you're Obama, aren't you?

You should be involved in this.

Something financial, you know?

Old panache.

Bank bomber.

Bank blaster.

Big boomer. No, bloomer boomer.

There he is, there he is, he's coming.

You got the money?

Got it right here.

That looked like 25 grand to me.

It's funny. It's exactly what I said.

So, pal, it's your call. How do you want to do this?

Now, keep your hands where I can see them. Walk it out to the middle of the

bridge.

Back off.

When I got it, we'll make the swap.

What's my guarantee you're going to let him go, huh?

Second thought, why would he keep him?

All right, pick it up. Open it up.

Oh, sure.

Oh, look on the bright side. You got me back, didn't you?

My fault?

Who else's fault could it possibly be?

Try Travis Taylor. Excuse me. Hey, all I did was catch a bounty.

You let him catch you.

Then I tried to get your ransom back. Which I shouldn't have to pony up in the

first place. Oh, boy, I got that A .D. coming back.

Oh, please. Bobby, wake up. It's just a nightmare.

Okay, forget all that.

What are we going to do about it? Don't say that word.

What word?

Starts with W, ends in E. If it means you and me, don't say it. Look, I got

under this, right?

I owe you.

You want to help?

Call yourself a cab. Jump in it. Take yourself home. Lock yourself in the

Aren't you being a little harsh?

A little harsh?

Wait till you see how I get when we don't get my money back.

He'll cool off.

I doubt it. Let me go after Taylor with him. Once he gets his cash back, he'll

calm right down.

What? Howdy, Bob.

Taylor? I just wanted to thank you for such a nice, smooth transaction.

I'm coming after you, Taylor.

That's what I figured.

So I'm using your money to buy myself a new set of wheels.

Cash really talks, you know.

Don't you dare, Taylor.

Yeah, yeah.

So next time we meet, look for me in something a little more upscale.

Taylor.

Taylor!

I'm going to go now, Bob.

Oh, that cab you mentioned to take me home, could you call him?

Don't push your luck.

Lady, don't try to sell me anything, okay? I wouldn't dream of it. I'm

for this guy. Bought a car today, cash?

Dear, he was a criminal?

He's my ninth place I've tried today.

He seems so genteel.

And you see, if I don't find him soon, I'll... You saw this guy?

Saw him? I sold him the loveliest pre -owned Jaguar.

I should have sent him back.

Hey, corn's ready.

Manja. Thank you.

So, Taylor's working a southbound robbery pattern.

Does that tell us where he's going?

Yep. He started up north in Portland, keeps moving down south.

The closest two jobs were 40 miles apart. The farthest, 75.

Well, then that would make his next stop San Diego or Chula Vista.

It's a mighty big haystack.

Yes, but how many people in a haystack drive the loveliest pre -owned blue

Jaguar XJS license plate 2PCE473?

You know, you were right.

I probably was too hard on O'Malley.

Nah. You think?

You know, sometimes your friends are just your friends. Right or wrong, like

them or not.

I'm sure there are times when you don't like me very much either.

True enough.

Really? Like when?

I could think of a few.

Hey, Tony.

What are you doing here?

Watching your back. Good thing I wasn't Travis Taylor. You'd two be a couple

speed bumps.

Hey, I told you. Don't try and act tough with me, you big meatball.

I heard what you were saying.

You know, I feel the same way about you too, Bobby.

In fact, you know that Chinese thing that they say about what happens when

save somebody's life?

No. You become responsible for them, right?

Wrong. Too late, Bob. We are joined at the hip.

Let me tell you something. This isn't China. You and me are even Steven now.

Well, that means that if I tell you that Taylor's next hit is the Mesa Verde

Bank in Nashville City, then you would only need one, right?

Are you sure?

When and how do you know?

Yes, tomorrow at opening, and none of your business.

Okay, okay.

While he had me, he kept on checking his notebook.

I snuck a look.

Photographic memory.

Came in very handy during my government work.

It's worth a try.

Well, Taylor's got your gun, so you're gonna need another one, right?

I could use some firepower, yeah.

Good, let's see your stamps.

Oh, come on, what are you doing, Bobby? Let go.

What's the idea? The idea is that we had a clear shot at Taylor without the help

of a certain individual.

Oh, Bobby, come on.

If we hurry, we can set him up by morning.

Look, we'll be back, okay? With Taylor and the cat.

Thanks.

Still hot.

Gotta lose some weight on that.

Any sign of him?

Nope. Do you think he's trying to scam us?

No.

It's too bad he's such a little weasel.

I mean, he's not a half -bad skip tracer.

Follows you around like a puppy dog.

A friend like that's just hard to toss away, you know?

I'll go make the rounds.

Bingo. He's coming your way, partner.

There's a bomb in the suitcase!

Okay, what do I got? I got Chuck Muckenfuss, Arm B &E, Santa Cruz, $10

bounty. Look, you know we're not going to abandon Tony. I don't know that.

This time he's gone way too far.

You know, I mean, we told him to stay put. We even tied him up.

Well, it just goes to show you how much he's trying to help, doesn't it?

Bologna just shows you he wants the bounty.

Bobby, he doesn't want the bounty. I'm sure that he feels real bad about

you so much grief.

He should feel bad.

Wait a minute. Hold it.

You better be careful with that. That might be booby -trapped.

All of Taylor's bombs are decoys.

He knows that the Tellers are instructed to cooperate with him.

That's right. Banks are more afraid of lawsuits than they are robberies.

Okay, go.

Great. Call Carmen Miranda.

Somebody stole her hat.

We can graduate from laundry.

Hello. Hello, Bobby.

Oh, not you guys again.

Yeah, again.

You want him back?

No, I do not. This well's gone dry.

Then dig deeper. This time the ransom's 50 ,000.

Not gonna happen. Better happen. You cost me a bank job. I gotta make up lost

profits. My heart bleeds for him.

You think I'm kidding around?

You're not gonna kill him, Al. You know why? Because you're non -violent. You

bomb banks with fruit and undies.

Travis!

Next one's for real, Bobbo.

$50 ,000.

Have it ready.

What was that all about?

Bozo didn't want to pay. I had to get his attention.

Bobby wouldn't let me down.

Changed his mind, right?

Only time will tell.

It better tell pretty fast.

I don't believe this.

Me and him would go back years. I kept him out of jail. I saved him from that

nutso U .S. Marshal.

Boy, it's times like this when you find out who your real friends are.

You ask me, the guy's a jerk.

Can't catch me.

Holy gith is my modus operandi.

What, bombs filled with laundry?

No more laundry.

I switched.

Yeah? To what?

Never mind.

Yeah, well, whatever it is, one of these days you better put a real bomb in your

suitcase.

Yeah, yeah, right.

I'm serious.

I bet the word's already out you're harmless.

Next job you try, be careful.

And where am I supposed to get this real bomb?

Bombs are us?

Oh, come on. Any idiot can make one.

You're an idiot.

Can you?

Ah, Toby the Magician Merlin, ladies and gentlemen. Jewel thief out of Las

Vegas. $40 ,000 bounty.

Not bad, man.

What are you doing?

What does it look like?

This. We are through with Travis Taylor.

Speak for yourself.

Bounty hunting has risk.

O'Malley got himself into that mess. It's not our job to get him out of it.

Oh, excuse me, Monsieur Galahad. Would you like me to polish your armor before

you leave?

Oh, come on, Reno.

I dropped in $25 ,000 into this black hole already. I was knocked down. I was

shot at. I was run down. When is enough enough?

When we get him back.

Or die trying.

You know what I've learned from our good friend Dutch Dixon? After all these

years, there's only one thing that separates us from him. You know what

That he has a beard.

Wrong.

Every choice that he makes is based on his own selfish needs and wants.

It's as if... No one else in the world exists for him.

Excuse me, let me get you a trowel so you can lay on the guilt faster.

There's no guilt, man. It's just... You do what you gotta do.

I don't do what I gotta do.

All right.

Let's do what we gotta do.

I am gonna have to complain about that teller.

Why's that?

Mr. Sixkiller, are you here to redeposit your funds? No, darling. I'm here to

get $50 ,000 more.

Oh, golly me, Mr.

Sixkiller. You're about to clean this up the last time you were here.

That's why.

Get this stuff out of my car before it ruins my car.

Come on, come on.

Oh, my Jag.

Smells like a toilet now.

Maybe something will grow in there.

You know what?

I've had just about enough out of your mouth.

And I've had just about enough of you kicking me around. You want your bum,

you damn well help me unload this crop.

You made me schlep it into here.

Let me through.

It's all just a bunch of bullwash, isn't it?

Huh?

It's bomb business. You're bluffing.

You're just buying time.

Come on, man. I told you. You expect me to believe that you were an airborne

ranger? It's the truth.

You know something? I've had just about enough of your stories, okay? I want a

demonstration of this thing. Come on, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You push me around right now, you're gonna get the wrong kind of

So,

what

kind of money you make as a bank robber?

Why, you thinking about a change of profession?

Maybe.

What, 50 grand a year?

I just started.

I'm already over 80.

Tax -free?

I worked for two years as a grunt teller in one of those places, learning how to

do this right.

How much money are you making as a bounty hunter?

It's not really just the money.

It's the thrill that keeps me going.

Yeah? Yeah.

You thrilled right now?

I got a bit of a buzz going, yeah.

Look, you don't really want me blowing this thing tonight, do you?

Attract all kinds of attention.

Okay, but just an eensy weensy, boss.

To show you I know what I'm doing.

You know, any number of little problems can cause this thing not to work.

If that thing doesn't work, you got one big problem.

Of course, if it does work, you and me might consider forming a mutually

beneficial partnership.

Here, help me turn this thing over.

Why? For cover. What do you think? We gotta get behind it.

Why don't we just move farther away?

We don't have the time.

How much time do we have?

Four seconds.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

That was an itsy -bitsy boom?

Airborne Rangers.

Be all you can be.

You have a call yet?

Nope. I know we gotta get ahead of him, but this is a dead end, man.

Maybe Tony's car got towed or stolen.

Well, who'd steal that junk?

There!

No good.

Do you think he'd mind?

Here we go. Better us than local talent.

Hurry!

Go on! Get the alarm!

Looks like he lives

in here.

You know what?

I don't buy Tony's photographic memory thing.

Do I?

So what do you want to do?

Uh, look for notes. He's got to write stuff down.

For a good time, call... Hey, man.

There's a fish tank back here.

So? So, there's fish in it. Real -life fish.

Well, feed him.

He'll be hungry.

Hey!

Looks like his background stuff on Taylor.

It's a lift.

Well, what do you got?

L .A. Sav, one gnat, orange.

L .A. Sav, L .A. Sav. L .A. Savings. That's a bank.

M .V .B.? Mesa Verde. Mesa Verde Bank, right over there. What else you got?

B, San, C.

Bank of Santa Clara?

Bank of San Antonio!

You don't need to do this.

Sure I do.

You explained it to me, remember?

But you're not going to blow this, right?

You're just going to leave it in the bank.

What good would that do?

Are you kidding?

They open this package, you're going to have all the credibility you'll ever

need.

You keep saying you, you, you, Tony.

Come on, we're going in there together.

The hell we are. I get caught on video, then I'll be on a poster.

I'll wind up a bounty. Oh, man, no way.

Trust me.

It's no big deal.

Not for you, maybe. For me?

Well, let's just say I got a few jealous rivals in the bounty hunting community.

So turn yourself in.

Get a good lawyer, you'll be out in ten years. No, no, no, no, no, no, man.

Hey.

I thought you said you wanted to be partners.

You wouldn't be turning on me, would you, partner?

Okay, then.

You're shaking like a leaf there, Mr. Airborne. I can't help myself.

I can't do this.

I'm going to attract way too much attention.

That's okay.

Because the more they look at you, the less they're looking at me.

Thanks, partner.

What is that?

We're about to be bombarded by exploding guavas. Yeah, or dirty Speedos. No,

don't, don't, don't. He means it. Come on, the whole world's onto this guy.

Uh -uh, it's a real one this time.

Yeah? How do you know?

Because I built it myself.

Wait a minute. Hold it here.

You what?

He made me do it. I didn't want to do it, Bobby. Wine, wine, wine.

Are you three about finished?

Because we are creating quite a spectacle of ourselves.

So what you're saying is that you built a bar. Yes, and it's a big one.

Your own design with your own hands.

Bobby, I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything about it. No, no, no. It's quite all

right. You know why? Because the fact that you built this bomb makes me feel

very comfortable.

Because it's not going to work.

Big mistake.

The circuits must be busy.

i like about you man you are reliably unreliable i didn't mess up yeah well

we're still here aren't we for three minutes yeah then that thing goes

i built a timer into it and he just triggered it the little shrimp you

got me man almost got me two minutes 50 and i can't disconnect it was that a

beat let's get this out of here

Which case has the money and which case has the bomb?

Mine's the designer one. They're both designer ones.

Well, the other one's ticking. It had a tick noise.

No ticking.

Then we gotta ditch them both.

The cave came out of wash. We collected a bundle for Taylor. That made it for

the first ransom.

More than.

But not the second ransom. Well, we recovered most of it.

Most of it?

The tide came in.

What were we supposed to do? Drown?

Maybe. Here we go.

Prost!

Cheers, Bobby.

That's probably some of that cheap stuff you get at Christmas. You know what the

Christmas bell is?

Hey, man, it's Cristal.

Hey, man, I'll try it.

Hmm, not bad.

Hey, I don't skimp when my friends are concerned, especially when I have a

special toast and an apology.

Bobby, for a minute there, I doubted you.

I thought you weren't going to come through.

I am sincerely sorry.

I know better.

You are a man of honor.

You saved my life.

That Chinese thing, don't go there.

And I saved your life.

You did not. Actually, he did. Taylor had you. And that means I am responsible

for you for as long as you live.

I watch your back, you watch my back. Kin, family, brothers, right?

Right. He did filter that pain down my pants.