Original subtitles

The 12 grand.

Can you recommend a video I do rent tonight? How about Dumb and Dumber?

You need any help?

What kept you?

Hound Adams?

I know where he is.

He was a cop and good at his job, but he committed the ultimate sin and

testified against other cops gone bad.

Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead.

Framed for murder, now he prowls the Badlands, an outlaw hunting outlaws, a

bounty hunter.

A renegade.

Where'd you go?

Had to lash up Big Al and Mighty Max. You better get the heck out of here,

The cops are on their way. Wait a second.

What's all this nonsense about the hound? He resurfaced. New York City.

New York City? Oh, he'll be easy to find. Are you sure it's him? Remember

scam he was running when we first met him? Yeah, with the employment

applications. Exactly. Well, he's taken it to a higher level.

My contact in New York City faxed that to me.

Baskerville and Holmes.

Hound of the Baskerville?

Yeah, in Sherlock Holmes. I get it. And on the bottom there, it says rigorous

screening of all applicants.

This is the same wording he used in Bay City.

Where do I find him?

My contact, Randy, is looking for him right now.

Where do I find this amazing Randy?

In a coffee shop or off of Canal Street, downtown New York City.

Address is on the fax.

Man, this is a tough choice.

What do you mean?

Whether to spend the rest of my life as a wanted fugitive without a family or

home or visit New York City.

What's with the attitude of yours about New York City? Have you even been there?

I changed planes once.

You see, you know nothing about New York City. It's guys like you that kill me.

You start formulating these ideas that New York is danger, it's dirt, it's

crime. New York is a fantastic place. You're going to love it.

I will, if I find the hound.

Ms. Van Zandt, Mr. Moriarty will see you now.

If you'll follow me.

Have you completed the form?

I have them right here.

Mr. Moriarty will want to see them.

Yes.

I understand.

It's just our company cannot be involved in this sort of speculative expedition.

Well, good day.

Ah.

Mr. Van Zandt, I presume.

Mr. Moriarty.

Pleasure. Would you have a seat, please?

Thank you.

You brought your application, I suspect.

Of course.

I must say, it's the most exhaustive I've ever been asked. Is that a problem?

No problem.

Well, as if it were, we'd have to terminate this interview immediately.

Mr. Van Zandt, my partners and I put great stock in personal probity.

Probity? Yes.

I'm afraid we insist upon it with all of our employees worldwide.

I appreciate that, sir.

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid you've forgotten to sign it.

Is that necessary?

If you were to get this position, this would become a permanent part of your

personnel file.

Fine.

The starting salary is $200 ,000. It's a guaranteed bonus tied to performance.

Is that right? That is correct.

Great.

And now about Baskerville and Holmes.

I'm not familiar... Mr. Van Zandt.

I would be delighted to answer all these queries upon a second meeting, if we

deemed a second meeting appropriate.

Now then, good day.

Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Moriarty.

The last two

are finishing their applications.

Ah. Well, very good, Miss Baskin.

Will there be anything else?

Just one more thing.

You were starting to hurt my feelings.

Oh, dear, we wouldn't want that, now, would we?

Now, run along.

I have work for you.

Comme va?

Yeah.

Listen, uh, I need a table.

Yeah, believe it or not, I'm asking somebody to marry me.

Yeah.

Yeah, something romantic? Sure, that'd be excellent.

All right, let's say 7 .30 then.

Yeah. Ciao, baby.

Molte bene to you, too.

Please hold.

Mr. Chu, how are you?

Ah, yep, Jimmy Moriarty.

Yeah, I need a table.

Oh, yeah. Yes, sir, it's a 7 .45.

Excellent. It is a very special evening.

Hey, you, it's lunch hour. Are you eating or staying?

Yeah, I could eat.

No, no, no, no, no. No booth for one person. Come, sit at that counter. Go

ahead. You know a person named Randy?

Randy? Randy.

Randy? This is New York City.

Nobody here called Randy.

Hey, Dimitri, where the hell is my cheese omelet?

Hey, what do you want with Randy?

A friend of mine told me to look him up.

Yeah? Who's the friend?

Bobby Sixkiller. Bobby Sixkiller?

What is that, a stage name or something?

It's like a rocker, a hitman, maybe a performance artist?

Native American, actually.

All right, sit down.

How come you got a booth?

Double standard.

What do you want?

I don't know. What's good?

Club sandwich. It's better than the plaza.

Yo, Gregory!

Yeah? Club down!

Drink? Uh, water.

Water? I'll have an iced tea.

Hey, and don't forget to put enough mayo on, huh?

I'll drink your tea.

You're Randy, aren't you?

And you're Vince.

Nice to meet you.

Same here.

I wasn't expecting that. A girl?

Yeah.

Pop Bobby's just the Joker King, ain't he?

Mm -hmm.

So do you have the address for the Hound? Oh, yeah.

Man, everybody keeps telling me I should get a file of facts.

So what? He recruits for some non -existent job, and then he brings all

financial information out of the applicant.

Perfects forging their signatures.

Bingo. Drains the cash from the bank accounts.

You know about this?

Cousin Angelo did it for years, but he only went up for secretaries. Well, this

is the house for us to try at the Big Fish.

Ah, yeah.

Baskerville and Holmes, 86 Warren Street.

Thanks. You know how to get to 86 Mormon Street?

I'll find it. Because, you know, I could run you down there in the cab.

Oh, whoa, whoa, just a sec.

Oh, come on, bring him aside, will you?

I put mail on there. There's plenty of mail.

I'll get it myself.

I'm at the exact same place I've been for the last hour and a half.

The Lincoln Tunnel.

Well, get over here, will ya?

That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Get out of the way, chief!

Hey, send me you, pal! You watch your mouth!

I found Randy.

Did you get a hook on the hound?

Yeah, we're headed there right now.

Are you eating?

Sorry. It's alright, I'm just sitting there starving.

Oh, and Bobby, this is so delicious.

Mmm, miss ya.

Thanks. Goodbye.

Ah, get out of my way!

If I will.

Thank you.

May I help you? I certainly hope so.

Is Mr. Moriarty in? May I ask what this is in reference to?

I'm a personal trainer, and I was told that he was looking for one.

Well, he hasn't mentioned anything to me.

Is he in?

No. Well, do you mind if I wait?

Well, you may be here quite a while. Mr.

Moriarty's all over town today.

Well, I don't mind.

Baskerville and Holmes.

What do they do?

Baskerville and Holmes is an international corporation specializing

management and interest rate swaps.

I'm sorry I asked.

How long have you been with the company?

A couple of months.

Now, if you'll excuse me, will you please wait in the lobby?

if you'll just sign here, Mr. Van Zandt.

Yes, of course.

Thank you.

All right.

I think that's everything we need.

Andy, we're waiting for Mr. Van Zandt's money, please.

I hope you weren't dissatisfied with our service, Mr. Van Zandt. No, actually,

I'm taking a new position in Jakarta.

Thank you, Andy.

Well, now you're sure you want all $36 ,000 in cash?

Cash will be just fine.

Thank you.

You know, I'm going to miss your calendar.

I found an address where Mr. Moriarty will be until 11 .30. If you hurry, you

might catch him.

Thanks.

Relax, muchachos. Nosotros tranquilo. Todo bien.

Tú tiras la pistola.

Tranquilo, amigo.

New York, yes, sir.

Yeah, so I ended up in this abandoned building with a bunch of crackheads.

are you? I'm in Dry Dock, pal.

What's that noise?

Uh, that's the Hummer. It's going airborne. I'm at a garage and it's, uh,

up on a lift. The Hummer? Yeah, you know, I finally get out of the Lincoln

Tunnel, start to head downtown, turn onto Canal Street, and then, boom, I

into a pothole.

Must have been some pothole.

That wasn't the problem. The problem was that brown, murky liquid that filled

it. It ate right through the wiring.

Desert Storm couldn't stop that thing.

Welcome to Manhattan.

Did you know that I couldn't even get a tow truck? I had to run out in the

middle of the street and the flag went down. That's where you are now?

Yeah. I'm at the guy's garage.

In Brooklyn.

All right, look, Bobby, I need backup. How long is this going to take?

You know, why don't you go ahead and let Randy help you? She knows the

territory. All right.

But hurry.

What happened to your accent? What's wrong?

Mr. Moriarty came back.

He's here?

Then he left again.

In a big hurry.

When's he coming back?

He's leaving the country on a 10 .30 plane.

How do you know?

I peeked at the ticket when it was delivered.

Gran came.

I thought it was for our honeymoon.

I'm sorry. I sent you wherever that was.

Mr. Moriarty said that if anyone asked any suspicious questions that I should

just... Give them that address.

Moriarty isn't his real name.

It's Hound Adams.

Perfect for that dog.

Angela. Angela Bascom isn't my real name either.

It's Mary Paula Sikowsky. He made me change it and put on that snooty accent.

I'm an actress.

Is there anything that you can tell me? Anything that would give me a clue as to

where he went?

No. He was always so secretive about everything.

What about his computer?

I checked.

He deleted all the files and took the backup.

Wait, there's one thing I could try.

I think I can get it to print the last document he printed.

Kind of like redial.

Exactly.

Great.

What are these places?

No idea.

One thing.

You're not the only one looking for him. The cops were here right after you this

morning.

Hello.

Hey, Mr. Moriarty. Hey, Aldo. How you doing? I thought you were coming

I am, I am. Actually, I got a little favor I need to ask you. Sure. You know

that I'm proposing tonight. Right? Congratulations.

Who's the lucky girl?

Wait. Is she that redhead with the green dress you brought here? No, no. She was

great. Actually, it's a new girl. I've never brought her in here before.

Listen, I got this special little engagement present for her. You know, it

along with the ring. I don't want to be slapping it around, you know, before I

bring it down here. I'll keep it for you.

You know, I appreciate that.

Look. It's a surprise, so if you could just... Leave it in the back, you give

the sign, I'll bring it out.

Perfecto. So I'll see you around 7 .30. Okay, see you tonight.

Ciao.

That was good.

Mr. Baklava, you look like you could use some. I could, but it's not in the

program.

What's wrong with you anyway? What happened?

Got jumped by a bunch of crackheads.

Gregory.

Baklava and coffee.

Yeah.

They stole my bike.

That was all that's left.

Where'd you say this was?

Down by the East River, around 14th Street.

What kind of tourist guide are you reading, Vince? That's an abandoned Con

building.

All right, you know what? Give me about an hour. I'll see if I can get your bike

back for you.

Get my bike back?

Hey, where's the coffee?

You did not say coffee, Kukla. No, I did say coffee.

Did I say coffee? I'm staying out of this.

Well, whatever.

The man wants coffee.

Look,

Randy.

Bobby's wandering around Brooklyn, and I need your help. Okay, no problem. What

do you got?

This lift.

Yeah, it's a bunch of addresses. That's it.

This is good.

They're all downtown.

You got Chinatown, Little Italy, Tribeca, Soho, Noho. Do you know what

One way to find out.

Let's go.

Just great. Love, New York.

Ah!

Yo!

You need some help?

You actually live here?

Oh yeah, I wouldn't live anywhere else.

Even with all the people and dirt and noise?

I don't have any trouble except when I come back from vacation.

You know, then it takes me like a week or two to get used to it again.

How'd you start driving a cab?

Well, you know, I do whatever I gotta do to make money while I'm getting my

accountant's degree.

You know, that's how I met Bobby.

Working for my brother Lalo, who's a bail bondman.

Got the feeling you have a big family. Nine brothers and me.

I got a priest, believe it or not.

A cop, a butcher.

A schoolteacher, a sanitation man, a lawyer, of course, and a male nurse.

Oh, yeah, then there's Paulie, who was 10 to 15 in Attica. Anyway, I'm sorry,

enough of me.

Talk to me, what's so important about this hound character?

Well, he stole something from me, and I want it back.

Oh, yeah? What'd he steal?

My life.

Ouch.

Okay, here we are, 73 Bay Street.

It's a Chinese restaurant.

Hey, you said 73 Bayard Street.

You know, I know this place. It's a rat hole the size of a broom closet.

But you know, they got the best Chinese food in all Manhattan.

Hey, you want I should go with you? Do me a favor. Keep your eyes open for this

guy here.

Sweet -looking guy.

Maybe you could set me up.

Ever for once?

I haven't come to eat.

You are from the health department, huh? I gave the other guy 50 bucks last

week. All right, it's gone.

When are you going to leave me alone?

No, no, I'm looking for a friend. Oh, yeah?

Who's that?

Name's Moriarty.

Don't know him.

This is him.

Why you have a picture?

He's a good friend.

I never see him before.

You go.

I got a lot of work to do.

If you see him, will you... Hold your own, B .C.

Just get out, or I'll call cops.

Okay, thanks, Jimmy. No, I'm S .J., right?

Hey, what happened?

He was already inside. I lost him. Oh, man.

Who the hell is Bobby, anyway?

You want a shot?

You know Cheyenne?

Man, we lit up some party lights together.

Tell me. Only if you don't tell Bobby. You know, he's ripped off like a space

shuttle. Machine.

What do you want him for, anyway? I need a computer.

If the hound stopped by one of these places, he could show up at others.

except we don't have time to run them all down.

And we can't call them, because we really don't know what they are.

I think there's a way around that.

What are you thinking?

Well, cops can access reverse directory through the computers in their cars.

You sure?

Hey, my brother Vincent's a cop. I told you. Speaking of cops, where are the two

that belong to this?

I say the National Enquirer's in the coffee shop and they'll be done in, say,

half an hour.

So?

Wow me.

Sure glad these cops don't use a club.

I'm sorry, Ma.

I know I'm late for supper, but... But I'm helping this Indian dude.

No, Ma, it's true.

Would you like me to speak to your mother?

Hello, Mrs. Missions, this is Robert Sixkiller, and... Yes, ma 'am, I am a

Native American, and... Well, yes, your son and his friends did help me change

my flat tire.

Oh, I'll make sure that he gets home on time. I will, thank you.

Thanks, man. Sure, man.

Hey, I could have done without you, man.

Thanks, man.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was some weird -ass beeping noise on the line while I was talking.

Hello? Hello, Reno, it's me.

Well, where have you been?

It's a long story. All I need is some time to go ahead and put my jack away.

Your jack?

I don't want to explain, you know. Okay.

I'm on my way. Meet us at the Parthenon. I'll be there in a half hour. Bye.

Give me the last number.

Yeah. It's, uh, 384 Mulberry Street.

DiMatici. Oh, I know that place.

They make a fantastic chicken scarpiello.

What are they, all restaurant?

Looks that way. And you know what? Speaking of food, snack time for the

blue is almost over.

Let's jump.

I need to talk to you.

What is with you? You totally look like Dre. I feel like a rat cheating my

insides out.

But why?

This is your big night. Worst night of my life. She dumped me. The fiancé girl?

So what did she say? How did she tell you? She didn't say anything.

She faxed me.

Bitch. Yeah. I wanted to come tell you that I'm not getting any of the table

tonight.

I understand. Look, it's early. I waive the cancellation.

Thanks.

So what are you going to do?

So many memories.

You know, I got to leave town.

Of course, I understand.

Everywhere you look, you feel her, you see her.

Yeah.

Torment, I understand.

I knew you'd understand.

You know, maybe I should take the present back, too.

What's the problem?

The cops are on to him.

That's enough.

Mind your own business.

This is my business, pal. Okay, okay, okay.

Whatever you say, all right?

Excuse me, man. Can I ask you a question? What is it? Where'd you get

jacket, bro? That jacket's kicking.

I don't remember. Now get out of here. How much you want for it? It's not for

sale. I'll trade you 24 karat gold, bro.

No. Just get out of here.

All right.

Tig!

You all right?

Yeah, I think so.

Come on, get your stuff.

Here.

Here, get your shoe.

All right there? Come on, give you a ride soon. You guys got a bill?

Yeah. Let's go.

Thanks for skating my line.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

My name's Robert. How about you?

Lorena.

Listen, Lorena, it's none of my business, but you should look out for

that, all right?

Tell me about it.

You know, I'm really very grateful.

Well, it's my pleasure, like I said.

I'd like to show you just...

How grateful?

It's okay. It's all right.

All right, but you don't know what you're missing.

439 Bowery. Go.

You missed him again?

Just barely. But it's weird. In the Chinese restaurant, he had a present. A

present? Yeah.

All wrapped up and everything.

Yeah? And then this woman says that he stopped by to pick one up there, too.

That is weird.

It's the money.

What? What is? The cash he steals, he puts in the presents.

Oh, you've been in New York 12 hours and already it's made you nuts.

No, listen to me. We both know he has to leave tonight.

So I'm guessing he steals all his money in one day.

Yeah, sure. And before anybody figures out what's happened, he's long gone.

Seven banks to hit?

He can't take the money from one bank to the other. No way, too risky. Too

conspicuous, right?

So he finds restaurants near the bank.

Sure, most of those places got safe. Plus, they're open at night. So he gives

him some bogus story. Like about a birthday party? Or an engagement. Then

he hits the last bank, he goes back to the restaurants and collects all of his

presents. Hey, not bad.

Well, I never said he was stupid.

Hey, you got him, man.

Why are you stopping?

Well, I, uh...

I figure we could cover twice as much ground if we split up.

Bye -bye.

Hey, where'd you find it? Well, the engine was in a chop shop on 11th

The transmission was up in Chelsea, and the tape was on the square to Fort

Green. Thanks.

Come on.

Okay, the hound's been in all but two places, okay? And both those lines are

busy. You take half.

And I stay pan. All right? Well, I stay 85 by 500.

You're on. All right.

Better go.

I'm gone.

Yo, Aldo, I need to speak to you for a second.

How you doing?

I'm really sorry.

I'm really, really sorry. One second.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Just one second. I'll be right back. I'm sorry.

Mannaggia, mannaggia, mannaggia, signor Moriarty. Are you crazy? Do you know who

these people are?

Cast a casino?

Look, it's not funny.

That's Johnny Fatlip Antonelli, Luis the Porcupine Scassi, Angelo Rizzo, and

Monsignor Flynn.

Oh, well, look, I'm very impressed. Here, buy him a bottle of Chianti and

Listen, I got a problem, and I got to talk about this, all right?

Where's your girl?

Exactly. That's the problem.

She dumped me. Kaput. We're over.

Can you believe this? I mean, she said, I just want to be friends.

No, that's the worst.

For me?

You shouldn't have.

Hey, Reno.

You missed me? Oh, a whole bunch.

Traveling kind of heavy, aren't you? Yeah, you know, just a change of

underpants. Yeah, my gift is your blown town. Got all your stuff in here? Oh,

you mean a certain type of certain conversations.

No, sorry.

Hey, I want those taken. Yeah, I know.

Oh, the cops are here.

Well, you best be gone.

Yeah. Hey, it's Randy. Tom did just what?

No worries. I got him. You're kidding. Are you with him right now? Yeah, cops

are too. Get out of there and meet me. Come to the old Valkyrie line pier, West

Street near Canal of the Bandits. I'll find it. Any sign of Bobby? No, but, you

know, I'll leave it where we are. Bye.

I got news for you. Those cops are here probably looking for you. Yeah, right.

Remember your dear Angela, your beloved fiance?

She probably gave them all the addresses she gave me.

They've been tailing you all night.

Well, maybe I'd rather take my chances with them than with you. Try

embezzlement, forgery, grand larceny.

So,

what are you offering?

I'll get you out of here.

Then? You give me those tapes, I don't care what happens to you.

You know, Reno,

I've always wanted to take a ride on your Harley.

Looks like your pals let you down.

They'll be here.

Before the cops, I'm going to block them long.

Then make it quick. Where are the tapes?

With my attorney. Where would that be?

Far, far away.

You are not going to blow me away, because if you blow me away, you'll

the tapes.

You sure put a lot of trust in me. You know that?

Do I?

Yeah.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe I might snap under the pressure?

That all this might just get a little bit too far under my skin and I won't

about the tapes or Dixon or clearing my name and all I'll care about is wiping

that stupid smirk off your rat face.

The way I look at it is if the cops catch me, then I go to jail. I go away

long time. You never get the tapes.

So...

I think you have a vested interest in helping me escape.

I'm making sure it gets back to the people who earned it. You know, the sick

thing is, I believe you're going to do that. Come on. Come on, come on. Well,

yeah, come on. At least give me a chance, man.

Adam!

Oh, great.

Oh, man, this is becoming a hot ticket. We've got to go now.

Yeah, but where?

Hey, how about Jersey?

I'd love a moonlit cruise.

No, come on. Let me see if I can get this thing running. You sure you can?

Hey, my Uncle Leo was a commercial fisherman. I grew up on scouts like

no, even if she can do this, this is not going to work.

Why is that?

Well, this place is going to be swarming with cops. There's going to be SWAT

teams and speedboats and helicopters.

You know, if I am to get away, we're going to need some kind of traps.

Look, I'll take care of the cops.

Reno Raines, as my personal bodyguard.

I love him. You know, life can be so wonderful sometimes.

Oh, short -term memory loss there, pal. You know, till next time, Reno.

Adam!

Hey, you found them once. You can find them again.

Sure. Man, I am not getting anywhere with you, am I? Are you ever going to

again? No.

Oh, this place has terrible coffee.

Yeah, I know.

I'll have some of that anyway.

Would you care to explain?

I don't want to talk about it.

It's a really long story.

Didn't find him, huh?

Well, actually, I did.

Good. Maybe he'll get what's coming to him.

Maybe, but not today.

Look, this is the money that Hound ripped off from all those people. I want

make sure that they all get it back.

Can you help me out?

Sure. I have all the applications.

Thanks.

Oh, wait.

I have something for you.

He guarded it with his life.

Whose number is this?

I don't know, but he called there all the time, and he always made sure I

listening. Whoever it is, it's somebody pretty important to Mr. Hound Dog.

Thanks, Mary.