Original subtitles

Bye, Pearl.

Hang in there, Pearl.

Have fun in Kansas City.

You see, that's what you get when you get married. You go on a honeymoon.

You go to Kansas City and you get to do some shopping after all. And you know,

if you were to rethink your decision regarding me, there would be a honeymoon

trip in it for you.

I'm actually shocked you're even talking to me this way, aren't you?

Feel sore about Deacon Jim and... You know what? When people love each other,

they don't just unlove each other because bad stuff happens.

I can cause you to kill a man and you'll still love me? You could take a knife

and stab it into my taint and I would still love you. I didn't realize I had

such a wide berth for my behavior.

Well, this man proposes and no matter what you do, no matter what fights we

in, I will still want to marry you.

Thanks.

Did you just?

No, I was just being polite. Well, thanks. That's a nice thing to say. You

didn't just accept.

No, I wouldn't accept a marriage proposal with a handshake. Do you think

idiot?

Oh, here they go.

Bye, Pearl.

Have a great trip, you two.

Have fun in Kansas City.

Bring me something nice.

Nothing to see here except for a body splattered all over the platform.

Thanks, Hoyle. I'll see you later. No, no, honey, I'd very much like you to

stay. This is such an opportunity for you to see what I do.

I just feel like I'm on a boot if I stay here.

Well, honey, that's okay.

I mean, if you need to throw up, I had, oh, my God, my first autopsy class.

Because the cadavers that we used were days, sometimes weeks old. They were

filled with maggots. And I was like, what's all this rice? And my professor

like, that's not rice.

Anyway, that's Harvard.

This is today.

But it is a man. I can tell you that for sure, because right here, this is a

testicle. It is? Yes.

The scrotum sac was just blown apart. Oh, my God. You just hit me with some of

that. Oh, sorry.

I shouldn't gesticulate so grand. Do I have scrotum in my hair? No. I felt

something hit me, like right there. No, you don't have anything.

Okay, so we now know that this is a man.

And then I look right here. See this?

What do you see there? A mark. A black mark that can only be left by vulcanized

rubber, which are often used on heels, especially at the new men's booth.

I think there's a very good chance that this man was pushed.

Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for seeing me at work. This meant a lot to me.

I'll see you at your appointment. Please wash your hands. Okay.

Love you.

Uh -huh.

I feel like we're making real progress. This is really, because, you know, I do

a game night at my house, and so we do a lot of puzzles, and I can put this over

here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Puzzle night? You have a puzzle night at your house?

I have people over for game night.

Okay, because that's new.

We talk and kind of wrap things out, and sometimes we'll play games or we'll do

drawings. I'd like to wrap things up.

I draw.

Some people aren't as comfortable around you. Who people?

Elias Turner said that he wouldn't.

Elias Turner.

He's an idiot. Can we focus on the body?

Okay.

Well, look at this.

This has got a little tattoo marking on it. Look at that. It looks to me like,

doesn't that look like? It does, like that part of the hand. That would fit

and then the skin.

It's Boo Young.

Huh? You okay?

I know who this is. This is a man named Boo Young. He's a railroad worker. He

came over for game night a couple times. You have a railroad worker over at your

place and not the sheriff? They were short numbers. All right, so Boo Young.

Young. I remember he had an incredibly large tongue.

Bingo. He was a railroad worker, and he had a tattoo because we commented on it

when he was doing a thing with his hands. What kind of thing?

We all stood around in a circle. Oh, I know that. I know that game. That's a

good game. That's an old game.

Uh -huh.

Sheriff Hoyle?

Marshal given.

Well, how do you do?

No longer a marshal.

Now I'm an agent with the Pinkerton Detective Agency.

Private law enforcement, Hoyle.

Congratulations, Dick. I'm investigating a string of train robberies.

Apparently, there was a shipment headed to Dodge. After it left Great Bend, it

was no longer seen. By the time the car got to Dodge, it was missing.

Okay, well, I would be happy to assist you in whatever way I can to help stop

this. I don't need your assistance.

Well, I can't help but assume that my murder case, which happened on a train

platform, is somehow connected to your case. I think we should join forces.

I think we should not.

My doctor told me I am not allowed to get agitated, and you scraped my fillet.

Nice meeting you. Pleasure meeting you. You stay away from me. Welcome to Great

Bend. All right. I am going to find out somebody who speaks Chinese in town and

see what I can learn about this tattoo.

Try Dr.

Hang. He set up a temporary office right there.

That's right. He's in town.

I will. I'm going to take your advice. Well done, medical examiner. Here, take

some of my jerky.

Okay.

That's not jerky.

That's not. I think it's part of the colon, FYI.

Dr.

Hayes. Oh, I am so sorry. I'm interrupting something here. I'm not

You are interrupted.

I'm the doctor. She's my patient. I am trying to cure her of hysteria. What is

that?

This is a new invention called the manipulator. What does the manipulator

So the stimulator go in, out, in, out. You let all the

hysteria out.

OK.

What are you even doing here in my doctor's appointment?

Sorry. I found this tattoo on the skin of a man who was destroyed by a train.

And I believe it's Chinese.

What is that?

Huh? It's a piece of skin off a guy who got run over by a train. You took the

skin off somebody who got run over by the train? This is what lawmen do. What,

you call yourself a doctor? Come on, you've touched human skin before.

Hoyle, please go to Chinatown. They will help you there. Okay, okay. Sorry to

interrupt. Good luck with your manipulation.

Good day, Lavinia.

Good day, Hoyle!

Hoyle, please!

If I didn't feel hysterical before, I really feel it right now.

Why don't we start with a little medical tincture?

This makes you feel much better.

You must, uh, spread your leg piece.

Yeah, you should slip it in. Oil!

You are not a doctor!

Hey.

Okay. Hi.

Hello?

Hi. Excuse me.

Ma 'am. Hi.

I'm looking for information.

Hi, Oil.

Wanda? What are you doing here? I'm on a case, Wanda. What are you doing here?

I'm on my day off. I'm just unwinding. Listen, sorry to interrupt, but I'm

looking for some information on a murder case. A young man named Bu Yong was

killed by a train this morning, and I'm... Bu Yong?

Yeah, Bu Yong.

Why, you know him?

Bu Yong?

Yes. Bu Yong!

Now, how do you know Booyah?

He was my boyfriend.

He was your boyfriend.

Okay.

You're blithering now.

Did he commit suicide?

No, I don't believe he did. I think it was murder, and that's why I'm... Yeah.

You gotta let me help you, Hoyle, please. I want revenge.

I want to kill him and get my Booyah. Booyah! Booyah!

Just talking. Booyah!

Okay, everybody.

Do you speak Chinese?

Okay,

okay. First of all, you're just saying whatever he says back.

Hi, my name is Sheriff John Henry Hoyle. I'm... Ooh, look at that.

That's the same tattoo that Bu Yong had.

How about you not touch me, okay, white boy? Okay, okay.

First of all, that's a little bit of Italian in me.

I'm not fully white. And Cherokee, right? Everybody has Cherokee. At least

say they do.

Do you know anyone or anything about Booyong that might help me lead to his

murder? Why should I help you?

Booyong is our people.

We're all the same deep down.

There was opium on that train.

What?

Did you see it? No.

Because it's gone.

Why is it gone?

I don't know.

Find the opium.

And you will find Bo -Yong's killers.

Oh, my God!

Jesus!

Does he do that all the time?

At very inopportune moments. I don't like that!

Nobody does!

All right, thank you for your information.

Have fun. All right.

So we need to find the opium. Yeah, yeah. I have an idea, Royal. I don't

use your idea. Please help me out. I don't think so. I have a good idea.

going to love it. Please.

This is my dog, Kong.

How do you do?

Look at me, Royal. I'm looking at you. Look at me. Look at me.

Do not look at his face. Look at my face. And look at his pee -pee with the

thing. Look at my eyes.

Only understands Chinese.

That's why I'm fluent in Chinese.

I'm more of a gerbil guy.

I just don't think he's going to be of help in terms of the investigation.

No, no, Hoyle, you're wrong, because he'll sniff out that opium that you're

looking for. He's got a nose for it. So you're saying because Kong knows the

scent of opium, we can use him to track the stolen shipment. That is exactly

what I am saying, Hoyle. Excellent idea.

I have a sample of opium right here. No, no, no, no, no.

Okay,

okay. It worked.

You went straight for that opium.

Let's get to the train track. We got some opium in the track. God, the anus.

the anus. Come on. You do not want to go in that anus. I've been vile.

You look stressful.

Yeah, I know I look stressful, Hang. I am stressful. It's a stressful day, and

I'm taking it on all by my lonesome. You have hysteria. That's what I am.

I have what she has.

You must try it, honey.

This would work on me, too? It would absolutely work on you.

Well, screw it. Let's go.

Thank you, Dr. Hang.

All right, get back to work, Lavinia. You are an emperor!

Thank you.

Before we start, why don't you try a little tincture?

Oh, cocktail. Well, that is something I know about.

Pony up!

It's very important to remember, whatever comes naturally, just release.

need coaching on this kind of stuff, Ang.

In fact, if you'd be quiet, it would help me get there.

Thank you.

Oh, I am so sore.

Hoyle, I know, okay? He didn't really get them. Are you kidding me? He licked

around them. No, no, he really got it. And that ointment you gave me is

It's just burning. Well, that's how you know it's working.

He's got it. He's got the scent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for finding my opium.

What's wrong with that doll?

He doesn't like you. Well, get him under control.

I'm doing it. It's not my doll. It's your doll. Tell the whore to get him

control. I'll kill the doll. What are you doing?

Hey, whore doll.

Get out the whore doll. He's playing the gun.

Stop it.

God, my balls are injured.

My boyfriend's in pieces on a railroad track.

Well, my boss has told me to get that opium, so we all got problems. The balls

trump everybody's problems. Oh, what pieces?

He's in pieces.

He's right, lady. Balls trump.

All right.

Now, what are you doing here?

That opium belongs to clients of the Pinkerton Detective Agency.

Your client's cargo is opium? That's right. This is the fourth robbery in

same run from San Francisco to New York in the past six months. Now, I need to

take that property back to my client. No, I'm going to do proper procedures.

This is how I've kept my law job, whereas you've had to go into security.

Nothing can ever be easy with you, can it, Hoyle?

Who's going to carry the opium? My balls are inflamed. I can't pick anything up.

Let's get out of here.

How did you find it?

Followed you, dumbass.

Got jello legs.

Thank you, Hank.

Is it possible for me to do a double session next week? Absolutely.

Wonderful. I'll see you soon.

Hello,

honey. Nice to see you. Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry, thank you.

moment. Dr.

Hank, Vernon Shank, I met you at the Lilac Festival last week.

Hysteria. What a nasty, nasty affliction that is. And between you and me,

I have it. I have a terrible case of it. I want to help you, but it only works

for the women. No, it can work for the men, too. Believe me.

Really? Yeah.

Five dollars.

You got it.

Fire her up.

Now, if you wouldn't mind, just don't give me a heads up when you're going to

fire this up, because I find the element of surprise...

to be extremely helpful in curing my hysteria. So, I'm just thinking

about... This

is the best $5 I have

ever spent.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why anybody would hide opium way out

here.

Halt! Whoa!

You have something in there that doesn't belong to you. Hey, you're the guy from

the opium den.

Remember? Yes.

Ni hao.

Anyway, leave the opium and you may pass.

Now, I heard you people are pretty good arithmetic.

Let me do a little math for you. You got a stick.

I got a gun.

That means bad news for you. How does this add up for you?

You shouldn't have done that!

Ow!

Ow!

Okay,

I gotta... Time out, time out.

You just bought the turtle!

Lookie, lookie, who's got the cookie?

You're a little bit stupid. You don't know how to use it.

Oh, sorry, Wong.

When somebody asks you, who kicked your butt out? You tell them,

Wong Fei -Hung did it.

Hey, Hopper.

Wake up.

I've been asleep a really long time.

You really hurt my head.

You're a really bad fighter.

You're lucky he knocked me out before I could get to you.

Wait a minute.

Why are you burning the opium? This opium is poison.

So many of my people get addicted to this.

This is strong. Strong, strong shit.

You want to do a steamroller? Yep.

That's why we have to destroy the opium. So you've been robbing the railroad,

taking the opium just to burn it. That's right.

Booyong and I worked together to take the opium away to save our people. Why

you kill Booyong?

I didn't kill Booyong, dummies.

So who killed him?

We don't know.

But we know this much.

It is not our community.

Look inside the great event look inside yourself

Need

to find out You gotta look inside

Are you okay, Lavinia? I'm great.

She's fine. She actually looks relaxed.

Hoyle, you, sir, are under arrest for the murder of Boo Yong and the theft of

shipment of stolen opium from San Francisco.

Yeah! I know nothing about no murder for the Boo Yong or shipping from San

Francisco.

You don't need any more of that. That's opium tincture, all right. Here's what I

think happened.

You were using opium in your tincture to loosen up your patients before you gave

them the manipulator. You heard there was a shipment of opium coming in from

Francisco, so you went down to the train to steal it. Only Boo Yong and his

tongue had gotten there first.

So you grabbed the opium from Boo Yong, you kicked him into the train, and you

splattered his body all over the place. I know no killed no Boo Yong. You're so

full of it, okay?

You killed my Boo Young, you son of a bitch.

I can see the cloud of lies around you. Does anyone else see that around you? I

do see that. Deputy, would you like to take this suspect into custody?

I would love to take this suspect into my custody. Thank you, Deputy. You're in

Wanda's custody now, little man.

The only thing left now is for you and me to get that Tong gang. Well, what do

you say?

John, I can't help you with that. I think the opium trade is bad for the

Chinese. I think it's bad for America.

They're thieves, and you're a lawman.

In this case, I think they're doing the right thing. I'm sorry.

You're on your own.

That'll beat the Dutch.

He hates the Dutch.

All right, Wanda, come on. Bring him over here. All right.

I'm going to take him back. You're going to take him in? You make sure Lavinia's

okay. Okay. All right, I can do that. What? Great job.

You're a fantastic deputy. If anything ever happened to Eli, I would be glad to

take you on.

You know, if I were your deputy, that would really help me out financially.

But Eli's doing fine, so... All right.

Back up.

Come on. Wow,

you're really... Lavinia, I need you back behind the bar.

Where's Hang?

Hang's done.

Boyle took him in. He killed Boo Young.

What's going to happen to the manipulator?

Probably just collect dust in here.

Doesn't look that heavy.

No. Can you help me haul it back over the saloon? We'll put it back in the

gaming room. Can I take a go first?

If you don't mind, I've had a tough one.

Giddy up, Wanda. All right, I'm going to giddy up in there.

Sorry. God, you're moving slow.

Just give me a second. All right.

Feels so good, but I'm still sad.

Oh, come on, Wanda. Come on.