Original subtitles

Shh! Very quiet! We're rolling!

Put it down just another day

Listen to me.

Listen to me. I want you to put in a make -out scene between Jim and Darlene.

Now, I know it has nothing to do with the story.

I know, I know, but it drives Adam Oates crazy.

Okay, look, how often do you get to torture a star in the NHL? Just do it.

David's script is ready.

Oh, good. All right, here's what you do. Call Moranville, swear up and down,

it'll be ready by 9 a .m. Then sit on it until about 3, then give it a hum and

let him run it over there so he gets it around 4 or so.

Oh, the usual.

The usual.

Right, do it.

Perfect. Okay, so where were we?

Forget the pillow, Lieutenant.

My mom spent all night making her Latin version of chicken soup.

It looks good.

What is it?

Arroz con leche a la patada.

Ripe pudding with a kick.

from Pacific Blue.

If you or someone you know has a problem with drugs or alcohol, there are places

you can turn.

Call 1 -800 -DRUG -HELP. There are people on the other end of the line who

listen and help you with your problem.

Thank you for listening.

Have a nice day.

We can't fuck.

No, we can't. Because it's a PG show.

Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?

Good, good.

Listen, the reason I was calling you, thanks for calling me back, is I just

the rough cut of Cop in a Box.

Looks fantastic.

Great ticking clock. Great Jeopardy.

I got to tell you, just between you and me, I look at this episode, I look at

virtually all the other episodes, man, you make this series. I got to tell you,

you're the one who pulls it together for us.

and really puts it on the screen, and you pop, and man, I just want to thank

you, but kind of secretively here, don't let the other cast members know I said

this to you. It's kind of secretive. They find out, they get all bent out of

shape, and don't tell Bill and Gary either. I know they'd get bent out of

You're welcome.

Absolutely.

Say hi to Cindy for me. Talk to you later.

Bye.

No, I can't do that.

Mr.

Mediano, any of your pretentious knickknacks could support this. Oops,

farted.

I totally did it.

So, Paula, yeah, I just saw Matters of the Heart. And, man, what a great

episode. I got to tell you, real emotion and stuff.

and secretively here, you are the only reason this show is not canceled like

after episode three.

You totally make the show.

But do me a favor, don't mention it to, you know, Darlene or Rick or Marcos,

Jim, anybody.

I checked, Peter.

There was never any evidence logged in. No cash, no drugs. There wasn't even a

bust. You checked up on me.

I'm gonna have to do that again.

This doesn't change anything. No matter what you feel, it's still over between

us. I'm sorry.

I just think that I make any... God damn it!

Ooh! Did that hurt?

I just got handed... Whoa!

Sorry! Good night, Cory.

I don't.

Condoms. For protection.

Safe sex is always the best.

Even on Pacific Blue.

He needed the money.

Good news.

We recovered over $100 ,000. Better news.

Better news. I just got... What is that?

Levin's shooting schedule.

I don't know. Can I see it?

He's a little mixed up. I don't...

If we change these two, I get out of here early. Would you mind? I don't know

about that, but I just see if you have an idea about how to direct.

Are you busy?

Me? I don't know. Let's go talking. Okay.

You guys.

What happened?

this series.

You do. Totally. If it hadn't been for you, you know, I think this series would

have just fell on its face.

And confidentially, I don't like to generally speak for the network here,

you are our absolute favorite.

Got it.

PB 104.

I mean, PB who?

PB what?

What is it? If this is your dad cheating, this would be a whole other

conversation. Because it's freaking you two little boys out that for the first

time, you had to view your mother and...

I'm trying to steal that bike.

Your turn.

Not me, I'm a pacifist.

Hands above your head.

I meant behind your head.

Look, look, stop...

panicking about show 22.

It's not that big a deal.

Look, I'll bring over a couple of Jump Streets. You can take an A story from

Jump Street, a B story from the Renegade. Right, right, right.

Sequest?

You did that on Sequest?

Yeah, that would work. All right, just switch the submarines for bicycles.

Just every place that was a submarine, just do it with a bicycle. It'll work

perfect. All right, just, you know, you guys cut it up and bring it in and take

a little from each and, you know, publish it. What's the big deal? All

good. Bye.

Wait for my signal.

There it is.

So, Marcos, I gotta tell you, I've just been looking at the Daily's bullet for

Till Death Do Us Part.

It's a shame we gotta kill Linda off, but what a great dramatic moment for

And we don't need Linda anyway.

You know, I gotta tell you, just kind of between you and me, you make the show.

I don't even think the show would have gone beyond, like, season one if it

hadn't been for you.

The guy just knocked the kid off the bike and took off. Broad daylight.

In progress.

Get up and go back.

Gotta reach for Rick.

What?

Evening, folks.

We busted this chicken feed fucking jag off. Can't wait.

No, I haven't, have you?

Okay.

What a fucking wife I have.

Hey, Rick.

I gotta tell you, I kind of feel like I'm stating the obvious, but this show

lives and dies by your appearance. I mean, you're not in this. You know, you

weren't, I think, a couple episodes last year. The ratings just plummeted.

You know, your appearance, it is just critical.

critical to the show and i gotta just you're you're definitely my personal

favorite too but uh don't don't tell anybody you know egos and stuff like

great great oh i'd love to come up to ohai sometime excellent all right sorry

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Bill. Hey, Gary. How you doing?

Good. Listen, remember the dating show we did last year with Chris?

Yeah. This year we should do it again, except with Corey.

my car.

Too sexy for your party. The way I'm disco dancing.

I'm a model. You know what I mean? And I do my little turn on the catwalk.

I'm too sexy for my hat. Too sexy for my hat.

What you think about that?

I'm a model. You know what I mean? And I do my little turn.

Yeah, okay. Now look, the speech at the back of the script.

Yeah, the big expositions. Yeah, lengthen it. The one for Rick.

Yeah, just give him all the expositions. He likes to do it.

Chris and TC cut the first half of their tack and their fucking butt that jazz,

yeah? Victor Corey, Webers and jeans, a plaid shirt and a black curly wig. He

said, uh, uh -huh.

So how do we know that's what killed Nathan Stewart and our roller hockey

player? Roller hockey player.

What am I saying? Roller hockey player.

Roller hockey player. And our roller hockey player. So how do we know that's

what killed Nathan Stewart and our roller hockey player?

Our roller hockey player.

So how do we know... Even with Alan McGuire spying for them, their plans

panned out. I mean, PC and Chris cut their first take in half on the first

robbery. Is that too many firsts? Who's on first?

Who's on third?

I mean... I didn't really like it the fourth time.

So how do we know that's what killed Nathan Stewart and our roller hockey

player?

Wait, wait, no, no, keep going, keep going. Once more.

So, hello,

hello. So how do we know that's what killed Nathan Stewart and our roller

player? Yeah!

Even with Allie McGuire spying for them, their plans haven't panned out. Chris

and TC cut their first take in the first robbery. How many firsts are there?

Right away, you're good.

Cut their first robbery. They're taking half.

I mean, even with Allie McGuire spawning for them, their plans haven't panned

out. Chris and TC kept taking their first robbery in half. The second one,

shooting, made them turn tail.

What's up, Lieutenant?

I hope you're in shape, Officer Del Toro, because this weekend you, me...

on, hold on.

Don't be a fucking clown.

What's up, Lieutenant?

I hope you're staying in shape, Officer Del Toro, because this weekend you, me,

and T .C. are taking on none other than Dane Blayton.

All right, here's what you do.

Publish it.

We're going to cut to six pages anyway. You know what we're going to cut. But go

ahead and publish it. Then go to the production meeting.

Let them cut the script. And then they'll be so relieved that it's down to

pages that, you know, Levine will think he'll be able to make it in six days.

Okay. And, you know, Brandt will be grateful. Perfect.

And then we left here, Bonnie and Clyde knocked over a convenience store a few

blocks over.

We were pissed with the Vietnamese owner when there was only... Ready?

Ready?

One take. Finish. Go home. Get paid.

Can I do the rest?

Oh, camera battery.

You may

be licensed, but seducing another woman's husband

sounds... More like a complete... You may

be licensed, but seducing... I'm ready.

You may be licensed, but seducing another woman's husband sounds more like

entirely...

Thanks, guys. I really enjoy this crew. My favorite scene.

Oh, I just farted. Sorry.

Cut.