Original subtitles

What the hell is that thing, dude? Smells like a storm drain, dude.

How many of these guys do you have to pound before they get the message?

As many as it takes.

That thing about a neighborhood watch, you gotta be vigilant.

Come on, man.

You guys got a problem?

Yeah, you're a problem, paddle boy. 20 ways to go around.

You want to surf those tough toys, take a car to the beach, spang a dick?

Stay here, we're going to kick your ass.

I like it here.

Hey, man, what are you, Dent? It's hard boards only here, pal.

There's too many ways to get hurt, man.

Got it again.

You guys

want a piece of me?

Come and get it. Oh, yeah. Come on. It's going to be fun.

You heard her.

Do it.

Oh, man, you guys got this wrong.

Can't behind your back.

Okay, what's going on here? This kook with Vons on my butt.

In English, please.

Guy tried to ram me off a break, so I busted him on him. That's a lie.

And he slammed me with his paddle.

These guys think they're on the waves. They tried to ram me into the pier.

Did you hit him with your paddle?

Well, yeah, but they tried to tip over my... Is this your knife?

Rescue knife.

Basic river gear.

Well, this ain't no river, Holmes.

You shut up.

And you, come with me.

Now listen up.

We know you guys have been assaulting kayakers, and that's going to end now,

because I'm not going to take this territorial crap on my beach. That

kind of territorial to me, babe.

The name is not babe.

It is Officer Kelly.

For the record, if I catch you guys in the act, I'll come back and bust your

ass. What, for the record?

If any of these kayaking dips want trouble, they're going to find plenty of

down here.

Everyone bagged on my towel.

Just stand and see.

It was for me.

They could look around.

Just another day in LA.

See more than me.

Anybody.

Maybe it's free.

Something.

One is down.

Just another day.

Why do you want to get mixed up in something like this?

I told you I was defending myself. Those guys came after me.

Nobody's disputing that. Hell, he's making it sound like... Like you're the

swinging paddles and pulling knives.

We know these surf Nazis are bad news.

Violent, very territorial.

That's just the problem. That's why it makes them so hard to nail. They cover

each other's butts.

So what are you guys going to do about it?

We're going to watch them, keep them contained.

In the meantime, we're going to let this one slide.

Thanks.

Just don't be pulling knives on my beach or you'll be the one going to jail.

I'll keep that in mind.

Good. It was no good. It was out.

See this whistle?

Come on, Elvis. Look down. Take a hard look.

I know you'll see it was good.

No, it was no good.

Come on, sweetie. Look again.

Well, it, it, oh, it was good. It was very good.

Yeah.

Game and match, Lance and Dee Dee.

Hey, Officer Pratt, why don't you come party with us?

Oh, no, I do not think that would be possible. You see, I would lose my

subjectivity. You mean objectivity?

Whatever. Anyway, I'm sure it would make it hard.

Well, I can guarantee that.

You know the big house on Marine and Boardwalk? Yeah.

What is this stuff?

Electrolyte fluid.

It tastes like battery acid.

Hey, my dear.

Help, please.

You gotta help me.

What happened?

He's chasing me under the pier. Stay right here.

Anything? No.

I can't believe this kid disappeared so quickly.

I don't know, man.

Let's go talk to the girl.

Did you

find him?

We didn't see anybody.

Can you describe the guy to us?

Um, white, mangy, missing teeth, homeless.

What exactly happened?

Well, I was jogging, and he started following me, saying disgusting things,

I tried to run, but he came after me.

What's your name?

Angie Moreno.

You live around here?

Yeah, right over there.

You're Victor, aren't you?

Yeah. How'd you know that?

Well, I see you guys all the time.

Victor Del Toro?

Supercop, right?

Don't tell him that. He's got a big enough head already.

Listen, if the guy comes back, I'll know where to come.

Thanks, guys.

Bye, Victor.

Bye -bye.

Supercop?

Why not?

Peter. Peter.

May I ask you a question?

That's not too personal.

You know those people by the volleyballs?

Oh, you mean the swing set summer games?

They're men. They kiss their women. And then they kiss the other men's women.

That's because they're swingers.

You mean they change partners as often as they change socks?

Only more often. Why?

There is this one, and she asked me to come

with them to a party.

I don't know, Elvis.

I mean, these people, they could meet a guy like you alive.

I could live with that.

You sure about this?

Yes, sir, from the morning.

Yeah, right.

Look, nobody's going to tell me where I can and can't get out of my boat.

You gonna pick me up at six or nine?

Of course.

Okay.

I'll be okay. I promise.

Break a leg.

Just not one of your own.

How you doing? Hi again.

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

Another day in paradise.

Um, hey, could you take a picture of me and Victor?

Um, I want to send it to my grandma and show her he's looking after me in the

big city.

Okay with you?

Yeah, sure. I guess.

Smile,

super cop.

You live to serve. To serve and protect, right?

Right. Because that's what you are, you know?

My protector.

You're the best.

Bye.

Someone's gotta cry.

Stop.

You drop in, you commit, and then zoom. You start shredding right between the

pilings, man.

That's total extreme, dude. Total suicide, you mean, bro.

That was your hair, man.

We beat every break from zoom to window C. See, this year's about pushing the

limits, man. That's all.

Speaking of which, we got company, dude.

That guy's starting to annoy me, man.

Hey, Griffwood.

You can't even be thinking about putting in here.

Actually, I'm thinking about who's going to try and stop me.

Me, him, and about ten other guys.

I'm so scared.

You guys ever fight your own fights?

Man, I'll put you in the ground myself.

Wait, Pacific Blue, 8 o 'clock.

Oh, is that what you mean about fighting your own fights?

They're just doing their jobs.

Like mine is a paddle and yours is to be a sleazebag.

One dead kayaker.

Your briefs are all packed and on your desk. And I carried your calendar for

tomorrow morning.

Gotta go, Tom. Back after lunch. Bye.

Are you sure this is okay?

Meeting while you're on duty?

Yeah. Even crime fighters gotta eat. Did you order?

Two Caesars, extra croutons, no anchovies.

Angie, hi.

This is, um... Your girlfriend, Linda Dominguez.

Sorry to interrupt, but I want to give this to Victor. It's just a thank you

everything.

I painted it.

I think it captured your spark.

I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything. Then I will.

It's very nice, Angie.

But Victor and I only have a short time for lunch, and we like to be alone.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean anything.

Bye, Victor.

Bye.

Oh, lunch.

Not so fast, Sparky.

Oh, well, he's no fun.

He just fell right over.

Come on, let's roll, dude.

Get out of here.

What for, man?

School just started.

You worry about that, man.

I'm St. John's.

Make sure that somebody there lets us know as soon as he comes to.

Thanks.

Well, what'd they say?

A probable concussion, no sign of a fractured skull, a few fractured ribs.

She got a clean look at this, Alan. Let me guess.

Weed Kent, Terry Griffith.

No doubt about it. So now what?

We bust him, you point him out in court.

They go to jail. Why do I get the feeling it won't be that simple?

Good

morning,

Victor.

Angie, listen.

No, not me.

I realized my timing was terrible yesterday.

It worked out okay, but I did have to do a little tap dancing.

I hope you can forgive me.

It's not a big deal.

No, but it is. I never want to hurt you. It's just... I don't know. I wanted to

give you the picture.

You know, that's nice, but it's not necessary.

You know, it's so funny how fate throws people together.

I've seen you jog by here a lot, and... I always hoped that I'd meet you.

What do you think you're doing?

Come on, Victor. I know it's what you want.

You're just a kid.

Am I?

Yes, and even if you weren't, I'm involved with someone.

Well, things change.

And when they do, I'll be waiting.

The turkeys have landed.

Got them.

As soon as they step away from the truck.

Hey, drop it. You're under arrest. Hit the ground now.

You gotta catch us in those things, bud!

I said pull it over.

I said bring it to a stop.

Put your hands on the wheel.

Out of the truck.

Get your panties and bun.

I said out of the truck. Now.

Easy, babe.

One more word out of you and your face is in the sand. Got it? Hey, there's no

need to get rough.

You haven't been rough yet.

Yoo -hoo!

Little Rabbit, are you making a move on my wife?

Dee Dee is your wife?

As in, so death do us part.

But, you want to party with my lady?

It's no problem.

As long as you follow the rules.

Don't worry, I bring protection.

Ever the optimist, son of a little buddy.

Now, what I mean is, no date, no mate. Excuse me?

See, in order to join the game, you have to bring a partner.

Ah, I call my friend Lady. No!

A girl, dude. A super fine female. An eight plus.

Otherwise, all we'd have around here would be, well, guys like you.

I see your point.

Look, we're in town until Saturday.

That's when we have our big seaside charity ball.

And remember, if you've seen, just know.

if it isn't the Bicycle Brigade. Give it a rest, Wade.

I don't know who this guy is, but he's obviously smarter than you are.

Why don't you meet our attorney?

This is Bernie Big Ride Jericho.

You're a lawyer?

This is America.

If a cop can ride a bike, a lawyer can ride a surfboard.

This is the chick that thinks she's under... Does the term excessive force

anything to you, Officer Kelly?

About as much as the term resisting arrest.

Hey, we'd love to stand here and discuss the final points of law, but we've got

a wave to catch, dude.

Enjoy it while you can, Terry.

Dude, you still have to prove the charges in court, and that means you

witnesses to show up.

Did I just hear a threat, counselor dude?

Mouth shut now.

You guys call yourself surfers?

I think you're missing the entire point.

Speed, power, aggression, pedal boy.

It's the rush of pure conquest.

That's the point.

I've been watching you guys.

All attitude, very little skill.

Well, then maybe you should come out to our break sometime and show us how it's

done. And get cut to ribbons?

Pass.

You guys have been mining the bottom with rebar and barbed wire.

Sure, you know where it is, but nobody else does.

Sounds dangerous, brah.

Better bring along Miss Firecracker, dick.

You guys can break the law, and chances are, we'll bust you.

You break the ocean's law?

She'll break you for sure. You know, man, you're gonna have to write that

for me so that we can use that in our documentary, dude.

Cool?

Have a nice day off.

out here, sir, for keeping an eye on me.

You don't need me to look after you?

24 hours after concussion and fractured ribs and you're paddling again?

My brake looks a little bit dead.

All right.

You watch my back. I'll watch yours.

Works for me. Let's do this.

Hola, cariño.

I thought you said we'd do takeout tonight.

I've had a terrible day.

What's gonna get worse?

What's wrong?

The phone started ringing the minute I got here. I answered, they hang up. Can

we start this over again, like from where I came in?

I got tired of the call, so I went out for a walk.

Found this leaning against the door when I got back. I can explain this, Linda.

I'm sure.

While you're at it, explain this.

Hi, Victor.

This is Angie.

It was so nice to see you again today.

You're such a terrific kisser.

I hope Lynch doesn't find out about us.

I love you.

Bye.

She kissed me. So there was lip lock involved.

That came totally out of left field. She threw herself at me.

Look, you gotta know there's nothing going on here.

Despite evidence to the contrary.

Linda, the chick's crazy. She's obsessed with me. What do you want me to do?

Oh, I was just lying by the tracks and the train ran over me, right?

Listen.

I know this looks bad, okay?

And I understand how you feel.

But if we're going to have a relationship, it's got to be based on

I mean, you know I love you, right?

Say that again?

I love you.

Does she ever put her lips on yours again?

I swear I'll rip them off her face.

Kids, how are you going to do?

Lucky?

Have you found a date for Disco Saturday?

No, but I'm still looking.

Well, if I were you, I wouldn't look too far.

Really? What do you mean?

Well, I've seen those bike cops you work with.

You know, that blonde in the brunette?

Chris and Corey? Oh, no, no. No, I'm afraid not.

Come on, show up at the party with one of them on your arm, and you'll be king

of the ball.

No, I don't think they would do it. Come on, don't you want to make Dee Dee

happy? More than anything in the world. Well, Chris or Corey, sweetie?

That's your ticket to paradise.

We need to talk.

Why waste time talking, baby? What the hell is with you and that stunt that you

pulled last night? I don't know what you mean.

Don't play dumb with me. You are on fire, Victor.

Can't you feel it?

The only thing I feel is sorry for you. You can't deny the truth, Victor.

We were made for each other.

We're meant to be.

No. There's nothing.

There never could be.

It is all in your mind, Angie. Don't you get it?

Now just back off or I promise you there will be trouble.

What's wrong with you?

This is bad, Victor. Very bad.

You've got to believe me, Lieutenant. You know I would never. I know, but you

should have never gone over there alone.

I figured it was personal.

You have a young, unstable woman stalking you. She trashes your

car. You don't think it's a police matter?

I guess I wasn't thinking straight. Right.

What?

Angie Moreno filed a complaint with the district attorney's office.

You've been charged with assault and attempted rape. What? I want you to go

and stay there.

And give me your gun.

I can't just sit on my hands.

It's not my call now. Don't make me ask again.

Chris, may I speak to you for two moments?

What is it, Elvis?

Could you do me a favor?

You see, I got invited to a charity ball Saturday that has a disco theme.

And my friends, they will laugh at me if I do not bring a date.

And I didn't want to ask you because I was afraid that you would say no. You do

not have to stay for the whole thing. You could leave early if you like. Just

my escort.

Well, that's for a good cause, though.

Yeah, sure, Elvis. Why not? I'll go.

Thank you so much, Chris. I love you. I love you so much. I could...

Kiss your face.

Let's just leave it at dinner and dancing for now, huh?

Your

little

stunt with the cat backfired.

I don't know anything about a cat.

You know anything about a cat, Terry?

You guys want to play games, fine.

But you didn't scare that witness away. In fact, you pissed her off.

And when she points you out in court that those are the guys that hit my

boyfriend with the baseball bat, there's not much I can do.

Come on now, you're a stud lawyer, dude.

I mean, it's not like I stabbed my ex -wife.

You're not above the law.

You need a lot more money for that.

Stud.

What are we going to do, dude?

Come on, Stimpy, do the math.

We go up there and we silence the bitch.

No way, dude.

This thing's spun out too far already, bro. Look, man, you hurt the guy, all

right? What else is our choice? I don't know, dude.

This hurt's pretty cool in Mexico, bro.

Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna run from some big -mouth chick, huh?

Cross the line, dude.

Look, we don't take care of this. We're both going down, all right? So you're

either with me or against me all the way.

Well, well.

Girl's got spunk. Gotta give her that.

Blinking up while you're through the wall.

Hey, babe.

I'm sold.

Me too.

Well, now.

Looks like it's party time.

Have you reps with no spotter?

Not such a good idea.

I called. Left a couple messages.

You know, I haven't been wanting to talk to anybody.

I got, like, this cloud hanging over me right now.

So if you want to come up for my relationship, I understand.

All right. Put him up.

If you're going to talk like that, I'm going to have to smack you around. Oh,

yeah? Then I'll have to pop you for assaulting a peace officer.

But I'm on suspension, so you might as well take your best shot right now.

I did that when I hooked up with you.

You think I believed this girl?

No.

I'm glad one of us has a little faith.

I've got enough for both of us.

We got trouble, bro.

All right, just play like we said, man. Play like we said.

We can't, Terry Griffin.

You're under arrest.

Drop the boards.

What's the buzz, 5 -0?

Attempted murder, assault, and battery.

How's that for starters?

That little dance you did on Maggie Lamont last night, she's in a coma,

It's a shame. I guess that means that your little witness won't be testifying

after all.

All right, we were out drinking with our buds last night.

Ain't that right, guys?

What's going on, dude?

You want to perjure yourselves to cover for these losers?

There's room in the system for you, too.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Jeez,

you trying to run me in the ground?

I'm sorry.

Come on, Victor.

This thing will never go to trial.

The girl's 19, and I'm guilty by accusation. I don't get it.

Listen, she has a history of psychiatric problems.

She stalked one of her high school teachers. She can't even live at home.

I can't do anything.

I can't eat. I can't sleep.

My whole life has been turned upside down, and I haven't done anything.

Maybe it's time you did.

She's amazing.

Unbelievable. Where are your friends?

There they are.

Elvis. Elvis.

Hey, you made it.

Yes, I know. It's a miracle.

Say hello to Nikki.

Hello, Nikki.

And hello, Ginger.

Shall we dance?

Yes.

As official term, I welcome you to Inside Charlie Ball.

Hi, I'm Lance.

Chris. Can I thank her?

Do you mind if I do?

Sure.

About what?

My wife and I were hoping that you and Elvis might join us for a little, let me

say, private party.

How private do you mean?

That's private as far as the streets and sending adults want to make it.

That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

I'm out of here.

Hey, let's go duck.

How could you do this to me?

Well, I was sort of hoping that whatever it was would just be done to me. It's

sick and I'm leaving. You coming?

No, I have some obligations I must fulfill here. Bye.

Bye.

Another little stud.

No date.

No mate. But I do have a mate.

The girl obviously needs psychiatric care. Well, that may be true, but that

doesn't mean that her testimony or that of the witness won't hold up in court,

not to mention the internal review process in your department.

Are you saying the DA's office would sanction Officer McNamara's plan?

As long as she doesn't entrap Angie Marino, any action the girl takes can be

used as evidence in court.

Unless we do this, Lieutenant, this docking could go on for months, even

Okay, you heard the rules.

Go ahead.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Cool down, Auntie.

You're under arrest.

Easy. Easy.

Let me go.

Nobody's going to hurt you.

You got it?

Got it all on tape.

Good job.

And you want to start billing us for time? I have to.

I taught you how to serve, man.

I don't mind a freebie for the occasional traffic war, but you guys

things to a whole new level.

Excuse me?

Weed, if there's any more trouble, I can't help you.

Yeah, well, then we'll just have to help ourselves.

I wouldn't if I were you.

Not me, bud.

I guess you're never going to learn.

I'd say the street runs two ways.

Girl put up a hell of a fight, eh?

Yeah, it took two of you cowards to put her in the hospital.

Oh yeah, well there's not going to be enough of you left to put in any

man. I'm concerned.

Can you tell?

He's going to shoot the pier, will he?

Yeah? So will we.

Come on.

on your chick, Luger! Come on, man!

Hold it right there, Reed.

She came out of it.

Hey, Brandon, nice ride to the pilot.

Thanks for showing me the line. Yeah.

You, on the other hand... You didn't find the line.

You know, Victor, it's great having you back.

It's gonna be hand -back, believe me.

Hey, where's the cop when you need one?

I just saw a couple right by here.

Well, I'm looking for one to go 10 -7 with.

Hey, Corey, I don't suppose... Oh, the shift's almost over.

I think I can cover for you.

Now, do those legs work, or are they just for show?

You want to find out, you'll have to catch me.

Chris. Chris.

Chris. Chris.

I wanted to apologize and tell you I am very sorry for the position I put you

in. Well, I was more worried about the position they wanted me in.

Pass. Well, I am still very sorry for you or a true friend.

And I should have been thinking of you and not thinking with my... Libido.

Libido, yes.

You're forgiven.

This time.

I just hope you've learned how shallow this whole swinger scene is. Oh,

definitely. Oh, I do.

But then...

I'm a pretty shallow guy.

The sand and sea, it works for me.

Take a look around, just another day in there, baby.

Anybody

needs

more than me.

Anybody.

P .C. is free!

Someday.

What's in this town?

Just another day.