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Thank you.
So this perp, Louis, I bust him with six brand new cell phones in his hand, and
he says to me, Hey, what's the deal, man? They don't trust you with the
guards or what? I told him, Oh, I only have my learner's permit, but I'm
my way up to motorcycle patrol.
Wow. Did you see that, Corey?
Now that was a nine.
Ah, nah, she was a seven, Victor.
Now that new lifeguard in Tower 22 now, that's a nine.
You are so shallow, Officer McNamara.
A lifeguard genetically can't be a nine.
Because they can't put a sentence together without clenching their gluteus
maximus.
Hold it right there, guys.
Hands down, hands up.
Oh, I'm going to run. I hate it when they run.
They can run.
We can fly.
Nothing to rest it in. Ready to give up what I
took.
If you think you're gonna sink me into, into something
strange. Don't be afraid. I
won't be home to push around.
I won't be here.
I'll see you
next time.
Five, nine, four, in progress.
Watch your back.
Good
thing
I came along.
You went across the border before you guys caught him. We had him, Lieutenant.
We're just a function of time and distance.
Well, guys, the time's over.
He claims he didn't know we were cops or he wouldn't have run.
What do you say? The usual, that I don't look Mexican.
Take their jewelry records. If they're clean, sign them up for a graffiti
detail.
Okay. Let's go.
It was for me.
Take a look around.
Just another day in LA.
What is it now?
Just another day.
Hey, Sandy.
What do you say we go to Sheila's?
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
I'm leaving.
Look, if this is about what Teddy said last night, I... It's about every night.
You didn't even hear what he was saying.
Of course I heard what he was saying.
Sell your soul and join the family business.
Why does everything come down to a moral issue with you?
Managing mutual funds is not my idea of nirvana.
D .C., we're not kids anymore.
I have a career, and you should, too.
I'm very happy doing what I'm doing.
Yeah, I know.
But I can't live like I'm two years out of college.
I want a home.
A place we can bring people to. A place we can raise a family.
Yeah, in Newport Beach, with 2 .5 kids, a mortgage, and me in a suit and tie.
You look great in a suit and tie.
And then I don't have to worry about you coming home at night.
Alive.
Sandy.
Don't start this.
You
know
I love you, right?
So don't do this, please.
Don't do this.
I love you, too.
That's why you have to make a choice.
Okay, now it gives me great pleasure to introduce a very special visitor we have
here today from the police department.
So come on, let's give a warm welcome to Officer Milparton.
Hello, everybody.
I'm here to talk to you about a very important subject.
Your safety.
Are you a real cop?
Yes, I am.
Okay. Let's talk about walking home from school in the afternoon.
If you're a real cop, where's your gun?
Right here in my milk carton.
Okay.
Let's say a stranger walks up to you and offers you candy or a ride.
Have you ever shot anybody?
Not today.
Let's not interrupt Officer Milk Carton. What she has to tell us is very
important. That's right, Timmy. No matter how friendly a stranger may be,
have to be very, very careful.
You'll have to excuse me, Miss Penny, but I have to go now.
Hey!
Hey, what are you doing over there?
I'm a police officer who's going to lie down on the pavement, face down, the
hands directly above you.
You got it.
If it's simple, if it's painful, it's your choice.
I'm taking chances.
You're under arrest, dirtbag.
That's a captain.
Hell, my mouth. Three months now. Today.
You know it. I know it. I'm being discriminated against because of the way
look. Now, hustling coffee for those meatheads out there was better than this
community relations bull, but I didn't leave the Navy and spend three months in
the cabin to spend my career teaching traffic safety to a bunch of... Transfer
kids. By transfer? Great. I'll take anything. Vice, motorcycle patrol, I'll
hook or bait. I don't care.
Bike patrol.
Bike patrol.
That's beach money duty. I've applied to Metro six times.
They have an opening. That's the deal.
But if you want to stay in community relations, that's up to you.
Who knows?
Maybe you can work your way up to officer highball.
And you can work those DUI seminars.
I'll take it.
Don't ever lose that passion, Officer Kelly.
It's what keeps you going.
I'm five minutes away from the school, darling. You wait inside with Jackie
until I get there.
Yes, we can go straight to the meeting.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're 20 minutes late for your shift, and you look like hell.
Don't tell Palermo, all right?
I had a rough night.
What happened? You fall out of those gym rings over your bed again?
Uh -uh. Sandy's threatening to leave. She was packing and everything.
She taking the hair dryer?
Yeah.
That's not a good sign, TC. That means she's serious. That usually follows with
step two, the leave the force or I'm history routine.
We'll have Mike deal with it, you know, with you.
Well, Mike could handle the fact that my father, my brother, my grandfather were
all cops, but not, you know, barefoot and pregnant.
By the way, step three is cutting off sexual favors.
You do this just to bust my bricks or to get some kind of perverse pleasure out
of someone else's pain?
First one, then the other.
Any Baker units in the vicinity of the Rainbow parking lot on Windward?
211 carjacking reported.
Ambulance on the way. This is 2 Baker 7 responding.
Hey, that's one of Bobby's lots, isn't it?
Yeah, they're all Bobby's plot.
Hello? Anybody here?
Hello. Welcome.
And how may I be of some assistance to you, officer?
You can't be Lieutenant Palermo.
Oh, no, I can't. I am Elvis.
Elvis is dead.
I hate when people say that.
Elvis is a traditional name in my country for hundreds of years that was
by your hillbilly, hip -swinging singer.
I service all the bikes on bike patrol.
How wonderful for you.
You look like you could use a 19 -inch shop. Excuse me?
You have to be fitted for a bike. I think I have just the right thing for
And don't worry about your seat. We'll have Victor pick out the seat. He is
obsessed with seats, poor boy.
See you, man. Tony Palermo. Chris Kelly.
So,
what's with the firehouse?
The city was going to tear it down, so I grabbed it for the bike patrol.
I want you to understand that what we do here is one -on -one policing.
Back to the concept of a beat cop.
You can know people on the street, develop relationships with them.
Yeah, sounds really cool.
We get our share of excitement.
Great. When can I start pedaling down the bad guys?
Right after you've had three days of training.
No offense, Lieutenant, but I flew for the Navy. I think I can handle your
little rallies.
They're schwinds, and I'll let you know when you can handle them, Patrolman
Kelly.
I've heard that before.
Six or seven times. Couldn't look at something else. Some other story.
This guy from the pier was going to pay me the money that he owes me, and he
didn't show. You know, what am I going to do? Yeah, I'll be with you in a
minute, dude. Sorry. Look, Tina, baby, I am not going to hook you up unless you
have the cash up front.
I need a fix, okay?
Come on. I'll do anything you want.
I'll make you feel good.
No. That's enough.
You're going to jail.
You're under arrest.
Give me the stuff into your pocket. All right, Brian. Here you go.
Hey, officer, you want to hand me my dope, please, while you're up there?
Whoa! Very impressive.
Are you going to get... You're up there.
I'm down here.
You're going to jail.
I'll give you $10 ,000 cash for this heap. I don't even care if it runs.
You sound more and more like Dad every day.
He wants an answer.
You don't need my help, Teddy. You can run that business in your sleep.
Dad wants you there, and so do I.
Why? So he can tell everybody at the club his son is Senior VP of Worldwide
Markets instead of a cop?
I can tell everyone your future's secure.
Why the hell is everybody so worried about my future? Because you don't
to be. You've been at this thing 10 years.
And make what?
45 grand a year. 46 .5?
We're talking three times that just to start.
That's not to mention stock options and other perks.
Yeah, like wearing a tie and hating what you do for a living. Oh, and what you
do is still so much fun?
Doing something I believe makes a difference.
You sound passionate when you said that. Now you sound like you're trying to
convince me.
Maybe I am.
Hey, look, TC, you're 32 years old.
Oh, don't make this a function of age and responsibility.
Come on, I heard the same speech from Sandy.
Oh, well, you know, there's an old saying, three people tell you you're
lie down.
You want to go surfing? I'd love to, but Dad will kill me if I'm late for the
bath meeting.
We can't have that now, can we, little bro?
Major accident.
Lucky to be alive.
It's okay, though, ladies.
I'm just a simple public servant out there on the fine line trying to make
beach safe.
Got it, really.
Hey, ladies.
Where the hell is that squad car?
I want to get booked and bailed. I've got a very busy itinerary.
I know my rights.
You have the right to shut the hell up before I come over there and clock you
the nose.
Hey, Evel Knievel.
As a taxpayer, I'd like to know, do they make you pay for those bikes that you
trash or what?
I'll ask you that when you pay your taxes.
How many bikes is that, Victor?
Four this month.
Who's counting?
Besides, I happen to lead this department in bus.
So why don't you tell me what you're working on, and I'll clean that up, too.
The carjackings. You know, they all fall within this 20 -block area.
Claremont wants full press on this guy.
Where is he, anyway?
Training the new transferee, uh, Chris Kelly.
Oh, man.
I hope he's a volleyball player. Can I look at his personal file? I just want
see if he played in college.
Did I remind you this match with the lifeguards is loser leaves town?
Forget it. All I want to know if this guy's a spiker. What makes you think
guy, Chris Kelly, is a guy?
You're killing me.
Tell me it isn't so.
Wow.
Now react.
Go, go.
Come on, I'm going to shut down.
Being on a bike has certain advantages to being in a squad car, not the least
which is suspects rarely see you coming.
So what do I do with this thing if I have to get off it and chase somebody
You'll carry a second set of cuffs to lock the bike up with. These fully
outfitted twins run about two grand apiece. They don't let yours get stolen.
I did a little research.
You're the youngest homicide cop in the department. You worked on a lot of high
-profile cases.
Why would you leave homicide to cruise the beach in your shorts?
In homicide, the victims are already dead.
Down here, we can occasionally prevent that sort of thing.
Uh -huh.
Let me ask you something.
Why'd you join the Navy?
To fly the fastest, hottest planes I could get my hands on. Because you like
living on the edge. You knew if you made the slightest mistake, you might crash
and burn.
Yeah. Same reason I became a cop. Don't think because you're on a bike you're in
any less danger. You're not.
The only thing separating you from a full -dress funeral is your radio, your
partner, and your gun. No 4 ,000 -pound car.
I got it.
Well, pop back on that bike and go.
Want some company?
I didn't know you were here.
Disappointed?
No.
I'm sorry about this, William. Yeah, so am I.
Let's just be there to rest for a while, okay?
Currently, I'm in no position to argue.
Do you want me to scrub your back?
Not just yet.
Mind if I join you?
It's your place, Sheila.
I heard about you and Sandy.
How do you know about that?
There are no secrets at the beach, DC.
We're still together.
That's why you're at my place at midnight alone?
Couldn't sleep.
How are things with you and Tony?
Well, he asked me to go to Fort Lauderdale with him when he goes down to
the bike patrol.
Field trip.
Sounds serious.
I don't know.
Relationships are hard.
Everyone I know is divorced or getting divorced.
You never know when you meet someone if they're your soulmate or you're just
reaching out of loneliness.
Please Sheila don't try and cheer me up You're gonna be fine TC there's a whole
beach full of women out there who'd be very attracted to a man that carries two
sets of handcuffs
Close
the door
You doing okay?
You don't seem like your old self the last couple days.
You ever think about leaving the force?
Every day.
Come on, Tony, you're a lifer. I mean, I don't think about it.
But I always ask myself the same question. What would I rather be doing?
And the same answer always comes back.
Sail in the valley on a 25 -foot teak sailboat.
Sounds great.
But since I have no money, no one to sail with, and no boat, I get dressed
come here.
It's quite an interesting perspective on life. Somewhere between then and leave
it to Beaver.
I'll take that as a compliment.
Changing subjects.
We have a new recruit. I want her to train with you.
I want her to train with Corey, Tony. She's by the book all the way. I want
to make her a cop, TC, and that's an order.
Let's see if we can get this carjacker off the street before someone gets hurt
real bad.
Well, there's no reason why you should be worried about going to your car late
at night, Loretta.
I'll have a word with the city engineer about putting those anti -crime lights
in the alley.
I tried for a year. The city wouldn't do anything.
If you pull this off, you can add your choice to anything you want in this
Missy. Please call me Mr. Mayor.
So anyway, Palermo asked me to join him as his first recruit when he started the
program. That was about six years ago.
I lived at the beach, took one look at the new uniforms. And served happily
after.
Yeah, something like that.
So what's with his leg?
In the line of duty, but that's a long story.
Oh, I got to go. Got a meeting at the peer committee.
You're doing such a good job. I just cannot tell you. I am but a humble
servant. I'll see you. Bye.
Excuse me, sir.
Hey, come on, man. You don't... All right.
units in the vicinity of ocean front walk and westminster 211 carjacking
heading north in a red bmw convertible license number david adam mayor one
guy
This way! Come on, come on, let's go!
Go!
You know, if we were in police cars like them, we might have caught him.
I'm only going to say this once, Officer Kelly. As long as you're my partner,
you can lose the attitude and treat this assignment with respect, or I'll
personally speak to it, you're assigned radar duty on the Pacific Coast Highway.
Are we clear on this?
Yes, sir.
Defton, go to work.
Must be talking to myself again.
Maybe you didn't hear what I said.
Turn the music down.
I can't think with that racket.
And when I can't think, I get very edgy.
Now, I want you to make sure every part is marked.
Dump the frame on the street by morning.
I don't want you to make any plans for tomorrow night because I have more
inventory coming in.
I like a very smooth and efficient operation.
Okay? Hi.
I had the best day today.
Yeah? I went looking for houses in Newport, and then I had lunch at the
with your mom and your dad. Whoa, whoa.
You spent the whole day with my family?
Prompted this.
What's the matter?
Can't you see what they're doing, Sandy?
They're not doing anything. No?
They'd take you to pick out a car as well, maybe a Beamer for work and a
Rover for skiing.
Honey, don't be so narrow -minded.
They just want the same thing for you that I do.
The very best.
I haven't made a decision yet.
Wait a minute.
I thought after last night... Last night was great.
No, I take that back.
Last night was awful.
I couldn't sleep, I went to the beach, I tried running.
If you really...
And truly love me. You will commit to our future.
That street doesn't go both ways.
We're dead.
We couldn't beat their B -team.
Well, you got us into this, Mr. Big Mouth. Maybe you should get us out.
Hey, this is loser leaves town.
We can't just put our toe between our legs and admit defeat.
Right. Better to get our asses kicked on the sand.
Look at that.
Check it out.
Hey, wait a minute. I know this car.
This was on the hot sheet from the other day.
95 BMW 325i convertible.
Check the VIN number, will you?
Tango, November 75791, Romeo 94.
We just found the mayor's car.
We? I just found the mayor's car.
Oh, forget it, Del Toro. You're not sneaking this fuss.
Is that any way for a law enforcement officer to behave?
I'm not on duty for another ten minutes. Well, I wouldn't want you to be late.
Okay, we'll continue this in Florida then, okay?
I haven't said I'm going yet.
You're going.
That's mighty presumptuous of you, Lieutenant.
Tony, Tony, I've been looking all over for you. Hey, Sheila, how the hell are
you? How's every little thing, huh? Hello, Mr. Mayor, thank you. Oh, please
me Mickey.
No, call me Mr. Mayor. This is official business.
Tony, what's with this carjacker?
We found your car. Oh, great.
It was tripped to the bone.
Oh, not so great.
Look, I'm getting a lot of calls on this thing.
Everybody feels like they know me. They think they can pick up the phone and
call every time there's a problem.
Isn't that the platform you ran on? I ran for mayor on an independent platform
because I didn't like the way things were being run.
I was going to buy my own politician, but I said, what the hell, I'll save the
money and run myself.
Anyway, the point is this.
We develop a lawless reputation with the beach going public, and the next thing
you know, Ozzy Osbourne decides he's dissatisfied with the way things are
run, and he gets elected.
Then what kind of city government would we have?
Metal instead of retro?
Come on, Tony, work with me. We got a problem here.
Yeah, after all, who was it that said if there are no rules and regulations,
there'd be no robbers and thieves?
Lao Tzu.
And he obviously never visited L .A.
You know, rumor is you were some kind of hot shot pilot in the Navy.
Was. What happened?
My eyesight fell below 20 -20, and I never qualified to fly fighters, and I
didn't want to spend five years jockeying transport planes. So I guess
can't be the best, then be the best at something else.
Something like that, yeah.
Hey, TC.
TC. There's a woman under the pier.
I think she's ODing.
Fading fast.
Call dispatch.
Get an ambulance. ASAP.
I called 911.
They're on the way. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what's your name? Tell me your name.
What's your name?
Tell me your name. Come on now.
Tina.
Who are you?
Tina, I'm TC. This is Chris. We're here to help, okay?
Will you help me get some more stuff?
I don't know, Tina.
Looks like you've got enough stuff already, huh?
I like you.
I like you, too.
I like you, too.
What does that say? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stay with me here, Tina. Come on
Come on. Stay with me, Tina. Tina, let's move around a little bit. Let's get up.
Let's move the blood, Tina. Come on now.
Come on now. Stay with me here. Come on. Hey, they're coming up here right now.
Tina, Tina, Tina, stay with me. Tina, Tina, stay with me here. Come on, Tina.
Cory's mask tells us that every car is ensnared between here and here.
T .C.'s idea is one of these businesses along Beach Road is being used as a chop
shop. He hit again in a lot near the beach.
Victim took a pretty bad beating, broken ribs, lacerations.
Shook him up pretty good. They say he's going to be all right.
Did you ask about Tina?
Yeah, she made it to the hospital in time. She's going to be fine.
Thank God.
That was some good work out there.
Listen, I had a thought about our carjacker.
Maybe he's dumping the frames nearby because he wants us to find him. Wait a
minute. You lost me, man. Corey, we're supposed to go to the police auction and
bid on that old vet you want me to restore, right?
Yeah, it already started. Why?
How many of the cars jacked in the last month are in the auction tonight?
Two of them.
I know how to catch our guy.
I'll start the bidding on this magnificent hunk of metal at $500.
Do you want to bid $500?
I'll bet he wants that car.
$600, bid $650, bid $650, bid $700, bid $750.
No, you definitely got to... $750.
$750.
$1 ,000.
$1 ,000 is bid. $1 ,100. Do you want to bid $11?
Bid $11, bid $11, bid $11. $1 ,500.
$1 ,600.
$1 ,700. Do you want to bid $1 ,700?
Do you want to bid $1 ,700?
$1 ,600.
What?
$1 ,600 bidder number 315.
Lot number 45 is a 1990 Chevrolet.
I'll start the bidding on this night.
I think you're on this night.
It's only going to get worse.
What happens if they end up on the freeway? What are we supposed to do?
call in the black and whites. You cannot run a bike, but you cannot run a radio.
Right where we lost them. They're flying down the street.
Yeah, she was right.
Two to one.
That's a chop shop right there.
Let's take him right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Top Gun.
That's not the way it's done.
We're going to build a little case here.
Let's check the serial numbers on that BMW over there. How many of these places
are there?
Three more, but you know what? I'm feeling kind of lucky.
I bet that's our car.
T -N -7 -5 -7 -9 -1 -J -R -9 -4.
He must be psychic.
All right, I may be a little dense here, but I don't get it. It's really kind of
simple. See the gunman jacks the car, then he strips it down and he keeps all
the parts for himself instead of selling them off.
Then he dumps the frame and waits for us to find it. Exactly. When it goes
unclaimed, it ends up in the police auction. He goes to the auction, buys
the frame for a couple hundred bucks, puts the entire car back together again
because he's got all the missing parts in his chop shop.
But why go to all the trouble? I mean, why doesn't he just steal the car and
sell it?
That's the genius of it. See, because when he buys back the frame, he gets a
clear title for the car.
It's legally his to restore and sell to our friends here at Fast Freddy's
Friendly Moms.
Pretty clever.
Thank you very much. On the part of the thief.
So when can we take him?
As soon as we get the warrants.
You know any judges?
Cute. That's right, I do.
We'll do the paperwork, set up the raid for tomorrow.
Callaway. We have a 918 jumper on the pier.
Says she only wants to talk to TC, the bike guy.
We're on our way.
Hang on, your friend TC's coming.
Dina? Hey,
baby.
You came to see me.
What are you doing up there, kiddo? I'm going to take one small step for
mankind. You don't want to do that.
Why don't we talk about it?
I've got to end this crazy cycle.
God, this is my 12th step, man.
Why don't you let me help you out?
Get you into a program or something.
Methadone makes me sick.
Congrats to Morty Cadell.
No, he's yours. He's yours. Go, go, go.
Don't move.
He's on your way, Victor.
Oh, you can't use this?
Rabbit, here you come.
We'll take it from here.
I ain't never been busted by no girls.
We'll get you to it.
So that's what it's like at the beach?
Yeah, I guess.
I'll give it time.
It'll change your life.
I like my life the way it is.
Not really looking forward to the sun turning my brain into guacamole.
Now, what do you have to complain about?
You're healthy, young.
surrounded by gorgeous people and you get to work outside in shorts oh my god
gotcha hey watch what you're doing wow did you ever play any volleyball
yeah i was captain the tail hook team why there's a guy
The important thing is the spirit embodied by the friendly competition
the branches of our dedicated civil service.
There
is
one captain on the team, one voice.
All right, let's see if we can get out of this with a little pride, okay? T
a little control, please. Victor, you're hitting like a girl. Phone up. And
Bobby, get up, okay? Come on, let's see if we can get through this as a chicken
-span unit.
Team up!
Come on!
Come on, now, back against the wall.
Let's go, huh?
On my point, guys. Come on.
I'm not that clever. You are clever.
You decide to turn down, my dad's off.
Hey. I know.
Now how'd you know that?
It's your wife. No, no, no, no, no. I want to know who told you. Nobody told
Tony.
There are no secrets at the beach, Steve.
Don't try to talk it down.
Why, everyone back on my town.
The fantasy,
it works for me.
Take a look around.
Just another day in LA.
We'd rather be in his body.
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