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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,415 --> 00:00:44,665 Te Tumu Whakaata Taonge 2 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,249 SCREEN AUSTRALIA 3 00:01:27,582 --> 00:01:31,249 a FIREFLY FILMS and GOOD THING production 4 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,791 His guts are popping out of his arse. 5 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,125 Bruno please, I'm trying to write my presentation. 6 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,416 Okay. 7 00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,958 I have a fleshy pen if you'd rather use that Laura? 8 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:40,125 No thanks. 9 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:54,624 Bruno I'm sorry but I have full blown thrush. 10 00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:57,666 Wow even on our anniversary you choose thrush over sex. 11 00:02:57,666 --> 00:03:00,791 How can I think about sex when my pants are full of yoghurt? 12 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:05,457 Okay well someone's got to get this party started. 13 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,625 God I hate parties. 14 00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:26,166 NUDE TUESDAY 15 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:36,208 Adult nappies can be sexy... 16 00:03:41,415 --> 00:03:44,957 ...with black lacy trim and a saucy expanding thong... 17 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,500 Pippi, do you want the fat tube pasta? 18 00:03:54,332 --> 00:03:57,124 Bruno! Does Pippi want the fat tube pasta? 19 00:03:57,958 --> 00:03:59,833 Do you want the fat tube pasta Pippi? 20 00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:07,500 We're the frickin' A team! 21 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:12,707 We're gonna party tonight! Who's the best Dada!? 22 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:16,416 I need you to get exactly what's on the list. 23 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,958 Okay girls, you are vibrant, you are warriors. 24 00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,625 - Yes Mama. - Yes Mama. 25 00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:36,624 - You stink Papa! - You stink Alice! You stink Pippi. 26 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,416 Laura. 27 00:04:39,582 --> 00:04:41,124 Come here a sec. 28 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,625 Happy Anniversary. 29 00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:56,666 Sorry, I've been such a busy bee. 30 00:04:57,958 --> 00:04:59,875 I'm used to it. 31 00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:04,415 Thank you. 32 00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:06,249 Open the box. 33 00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:14,666 Don't forget the list. 34 00:05:19,457 --> 00:05:20,832 I'll make a sexy supper tonight. 35 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,083 My parents are coming. 36 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:29,791 Hello Naughty Naps are the... 37 00:05:29,791 --> 00:05:31,540 Sexy answer. 38 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,624 Naughty Naps are the sexy answer to... 39 00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:35,624 Pippi! 40 00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:39,583 Unsightly lady leakage... 41 00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:41,832 Lady leakage and soiling. 42 00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:57,082 Could be a killer. 43 00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,249 Hello. 44 00:06:02,874 --> 00:06:04,083 Please tell the rude lady, 45 00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:05,540 I really don't need 46 00:06:05,540 --> 00:06:08,207 this crap from some bitter old witch! 47 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,665 Nude lady, 48 00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,415 I don't need a crap on some 49 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,540 bitter old witch! 50 00:06:16,749 --> 00:06:18,374 I have testicular cancer, 51 00:06:18,374 --> 00:06:20,290 so chew on that! 52 00:06:20,791 --> 00:06:23,999 I have tickle cancer so chew that! 53 00:06:24,624 --> 00:06:25,624 Thank you. 54 00:06:46,332 --> 00:06:47,707 Are the clients here? 55 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,125 Oh shit. 56 00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,624 -You been getting my dick pic's Laura? - Oh yeah. 57 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,916 You really have to stop sending them. 58 00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:00,875 Whatever, get in there. 59 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000 I've left my flash cards in the car. 60 00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:15,332 You don't need those, just improvise. 61 00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:16,707 I can't, my mind freezes. 62 00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:20,166 Just stick your tits and teeth out and get in there. 63 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,999 Thought you wanted this promotion? 64 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,916 Hurry up. 65 00:07:22,916 --> 00:07:23,999 Okay. 66 00:07:28,457 --> 00:07:34,874 Apologies, I'm sure this clever lady will make it worth the wait. 67 00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:36,541 Thank you Laura. 68 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:42,124 Hello. 69 00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:55,457 Sorry Kristof, I just need my throat spray, 70 00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:56,832 one sec. 71 00:07:58,582 --> 00:08:01,291 Sadly she suffers from overall dryness 72 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,458 Cheeky coffee? 73 00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:38,875 Laura! Are you okay? 74 00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:41,416 Yes fine, bit of a heavy period. 75 00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:47,624 Sorry, sorry. 76 00:08:47,624 --> 00:08:49,624 Sorry Kristof. 77 00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:56,457 Hello. 78 00:08:57,457 --> 00:09:00,332 Naughty Naps allows my lover 79 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,666 to peel off my nappy, leaving no nasty surprises. 80 00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:04,166 Naughty Naps... 81 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,708 Please Kristof! 82 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,916 ...leave my gusset smelling 83 00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:12,416 fresh, floral and fun... 84 00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:14,082 For God's sake Laura... 85 00:09:15,541 --> 00:09:17,624 So I can party... 86 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,083 Wash off that mess Laura! 87 00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:21,332 You look like a homeless man! 88 00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:22,541 I'm feeling great. 89 00:09:22,541 --> 00:09:23,874 We all feel sick. 90 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,541 Okay 91 00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:35,875 Sorry, so where were we? Fun gussets... 92 00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:40,374 It's like seducing a woman, 93 00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:43,624 ease her to the right, tease her to the left. 94 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:46,208 We're just looking for a toilet. 95 00:09:49,707 --> 00:09:53,874 Could I just tempt you to a peep of the 'Beyoncé'. 96 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:56,666 She's a very sexy mixer tap and kettle in one... 97 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,457 Just a bit of fun. 98 00:10:01,457 --> 00:10:04,249 My wife really needs a dump. 99 00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:31,457 Hope your thingy's gone well Laura. 100 00:10:31,457 --> 00:10:33,916 Could you call me about the list? 101 00:10:35,416 --> 00:10:36,374 Goodbye. 102 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,916 Fish, fish, fish, fish. 103 00:11:31,832 --> 00:11:36,999 Black eye beans, kidney beans, borlotti beans... 104 00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:42,541 Typical, no fish in the fish aisle. 105 00:11:42,541 --> 00:11:44,791 Why can't you pick up the phone Laura? 106 00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:55,125 Jesus, Laura. 107 00:11:55,666 --> 00:12:01,499 Hello I'm looking for this fish with Maxi Protein 108 00:12:01,499 --> 00:12:04,832 apparently good for female yeast infections. 109 00:12:06,666 --> 00:12:08,999 17 This is the beans aisle, mate. 110 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,583 Well your website says it's the fish aisle. 111 00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:16,916 So unless you've been incorrectly stacking the Maxi Protein, 112 00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:19,833 this is where I should find the Maxi Protein fish. 113 00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:23,332 What? 114 00:12:26,374 --> 00:12:28,582 Please help me find the fish with the... 115 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,707 ...MAXI PROTEIN. 116 00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:33,041 It's a fish that enjoys eating female fungus 117 00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:36,958 with a boosting ingredient called Maxi Protein!. 118 00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,041 There you go. 119 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,208 This? You're saying this will eat away my wife's thrush? 120 00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:48,707 Might do. 121 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,250 Thank you. 122 00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:01,083 Pippi pass the fairy ribbon. 123 00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:02,166 My pleasure. 124 00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:03,375 Thanks. 125 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,541 Can I help you sir? 126 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,749 Get fucked! 127 00:13:26,832 --> 00:13:29,291 You want everything on the list Laura? 128 00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:34,374 Well I'll give you the whole fucking lot and let's see if we can't 129 00:13:34,374 --> 00:13:36,374 burn through that thrush. 130 00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:38,874 What the hell's going on here? 131 00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:42,249 What's going on here? 132 00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:45,999 I asked for assistance because I thought this was a supermarket. 133 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,832 But turns out the staff are all lobotomised. 134 00:13:48,832 --> 00:13:53,707 I will have to ask you to leave Sir! 135 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,041 I won't be spoken to like that. 136 00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:59,291 Then let me speak to you like this! 137 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:06,125 Okay okay, cool your jets. 138 00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:13,375 Where in God's name is your father? 139 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,166 Hello. 140 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,207 Where have you been? 141 00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:32,208 Oh, I went to the pub. 142 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:35,208 But you said you were cooking dinner. 143 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,624 Yeah well maybe I'm sick of my life? 144 00:14:37,624 --> 00:14:39,707 We're all sick of our lives! 145 00:14:39,707 --> 00:14:42,332 Okay Laura, it's not a competition. 146 00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:43,916 I've had a stressful presentation 147 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,499 and you expect me to come home and cook dinner? 148 00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,582 So my work doesn't count? 149 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:52,166 How hard is it to sell a tap Bruno? 150 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:55,166 Happy anniversary four eyes! - Get fucked! 151 00:15:07,457 --> 00:15:10,249 Your mother and I are actually very happy. 152 00:15:11,374 --> 00:15:13,582 Hi Mum, hi Dad. 153 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:15,416 Hi Laura. 154 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,957 You remembered I've gone vegetarian? 155 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,791 Yes I've done a veggie lucky dip. 156 00:15:21,958 --> 00:15:24,250 Oh gosh, sounds scary. 157 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,583 I've brought my own sausages. 158 00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:13,875 Hey there Mama! 159 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:16,749 Happy Anniversary! 160 00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:19,374 - Hello Laura. - Hello. 161 00:16:19,541 --> 00:16:21,624 Puppy's on heat. 162 00:16:25,624 --> 00:16:27,291 To Bruno and Laura. 163 00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:30,749 Eyes everybody or it's bad luck. 164 00:16:33,832 --> 00:16:35,332 For you. 165 00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,125 Oh thank you. 166 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:40,875 Pippi give yours to Papa. 167 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:44,041 Would you like to see it? 168 00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:46,166 Oh it's beautiful. 169 00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:49,333 CA- It's a seahorse. I have a matching one Laura. 170 00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:52,083 Thank you. 171 00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:55,583 Laura please spend this on yourself, 172 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,416 maybe buy some makeup. 173 00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:02,750 Thanks Dad, thanks Mum. 174 00:17:04,874 --> 00:17:11,791 I've got a little surprise that's actually for both of you. 175 00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:14,291 Thanks Mum. 176 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,375 What is it? 177 00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,708 Okay. 178 00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:36,916 "Wonderla Retreat" 179 00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:38,374 Oh wow. 180 00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:41,207 Grandma says it's a sexy present. 181 00:17:42,791 --> 00:17:49,249 It's a retreat for couples who no longer 'rumble in the jungle'. 182 00:17:49,624 --> 00:17:51,707 I heard about this from John and Joan Stone. 183 00:17:51,708 --> 00:17:53,083 Didn't they divorce? 184 00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:56,833 Okay, sorry for trying to help. 185 00:17:56,833 --> 00:18:00,083 I'm sick to death of being the old widow punchbag! 186 00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:03,624 No Mum, it's a wonderful idea. 187 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,124 We'd love to go, right Laura? 188 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:09,332 Yes. 189 00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:12,625 Absolutely. 190 00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:19,249 Absolute nightmare. 191 00:18:20,624 --> 00:18:22,082 Why stick her nose in our marriage? 192 00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:24,540 She never got over losing Dad. 193 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,082 Well she shouldn't have run him over should she? 194 00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:31,249 Laura. 195 00:18:31,874 --> 00:18:33,708 What happened to your shirt? 196 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,332 What the hell is this? 197 00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:44,749 I was going to tell you. 198 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,624 - Why hide it? - It's nothing Bruno. 199 00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:48,624 Let me see your wrist. 200 00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:50,124 I accidentally... 201 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:51,665 Stop grabbing me! 202 00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,791 Did you try and take your own life? 203 00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:55,540 How can you even ask me that? 204 00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:57,915 Surely I deserve to know if you're suicidal?! 205 00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,916 I smashed a window in the car alright?! 206 00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:09,916 Coming. 207 00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:20,124 Is it nice to eat night cake? 208 00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:22,333 Yeah. 209 00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:26,874 Mama. 210 00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:35,915 The girls want us to go. 211 00:20:52,874 --> 00:20:56,249 You have arrived at your destination. 212 00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:06,166 I hope your yoghurt hasn't leaked all over my boxers. 213 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:08,291 I don't want my pants to smell rancid. 214 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:14,124 Very short and the end was shaped like a hammer. 215 00:21:18,874 --> 00:21:22,291 Poor guy, still it did the job. 216 00:21:24,332 --> 00:21:25,790 Twice. 217 00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:30,749 We enjoyed it though didn't we Mr Fluffyboots? 218 00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:34,041 - Is this definitely the right place? Yes. 219 00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:35,958 Gotta go Mum. 220 00:21:38,332 --> 00:21:39,374 How can I help? 221 00:21:39,374 --> 00:21:42,082 We're just checking in, Laura and Bruno. 222 00:21:45,958 --> 00:21:48,000 This is our booking slip. 223 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:55,540 Please report to reception Louis. 224 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:57,915 We've got fresh blood in the office. 225 00:21:59,457 --> 00:22:04,749 Three spirit stones, please choose according to gut instinct. 226 00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:07,249 Blue. 227 00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:09,791 I can always smell a blue. 228 00:22:10,833 --> 00:22:18,041 A learning sash for my gentleman and an adventure sash for our gal. 229 00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:22,000 Two more victims. 230 00:22:23,874 --> 00:22:26,541 Louis love, can you do the honours? 231 00:22:27,415 --> 00:22:28,290 Thank you. 232 00:22:29,374 --> 00:22:30,457 Shall we go? 233 00:22:32,415 --> 00:22:33,790 Thanks. - Thanks. 234 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,250 So the fruity lady's your Mum? 235 00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:42,166 Oh I hope not, we made love last night. 236 00:22:42,582 --> 00:22:47,332 Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. 237 00:22:47,332 --> 00:22:49,374 They must pump freely. 238 00:22:49,874 --> 00:22:52,708 Same goes for our genitals, 239 00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:57,083 let them not be taken hostage by our partners. 240 00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:05,416 Black shiny one goes in here and... 241 00:23:06,083 --> 00:23:07,583 Oh my God it's him! 242 00:23:07,749 --> 00:23:10,374 - Who? - From the supermarket. 243 00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:12,541 Hey Louis. 244 00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:14,166 Hey lovelies. 245 00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:18,458 So I'll leave these with you. 246 00:23:20,624 --> 00:23:24,416 Goodnight, goodbye and goodnight. 247 00:23:25,415 --> 00:23:26,290 Goodnight. 248 00:23:27,208 --> 00:23:28,083 Thank you. 249 00:23:33,166 --> 00:23:35,499 Definitely an orgy. 250 00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,665 He's demanding all kinds of sucking and swallowing. 251 00:23:38,666 --> 00:23:40,499 They're probably just having a fun dinner... 252 00:23:42,833 --> 00:23:44,833 Don't you want to know what they're doing? 253 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,500 No. 254 00:23:51,290 --> 00:23:56,415 What are we supposed to do, go in there and offer up our bottoms? 255 00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:01,625 - How's it looking? - Yeah okay. 256 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:04,916 Everyone will think you tried to kill yourself. 257 00:24:05,332 --> 00:24:07,040 Why do you keep saying that? 258 00:24:07,041 --> 00:24:09,833 Just don't want people to think it's my fault. 259 00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,791 Jesus! This is meant to be a place of reflection! 260 00:24:13,791 --> 00:24:15,124 Calm down Bruno. 261 00:24:15,125 --> 00:24:18,125 Sounds like they're sacrificing somebody now! 262 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:19,915 Well that's their business. 263 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,541 Did you pack my earplugs? 264 00:24:32,749 --> 00:24:34,249 Okay. 265 00:24:42,666 --> 00:24:44,583 Laura! Laura! 266 00:24:45,791 --> 00:24:47,124 Huh? 267 00:24:47,415 --> 00:24:48,582 It's supermarket man! 268 00:24:48,582 --> 00:24:50,166 Stop staring. 269 00:24:50,166 --> 00:24:51,833 Full of themselves. 270 00:24:57,791 --> 00:24:59,083 Good luck. 271 00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:08,750 Why does he need that? 272 00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:11,708 It's Bjorg Rasmussen. 273 00:25:12,708 --> 00:25:14,083 He has a false throat. 274 00:25:14,708 --> 00:25:17,083 Have you not seen his website? 275 00:25:17,624 --> 00:25:19,332 No, that's remarkable. 276 00:25:22,415 --> 00:25:24,040 Soul miners. 277 00:25:24,041 --> 00:25:25,666 Sex voyagers. 278 00:25:27,499 --> 00:25:30,290 Let's start our morning with a 279 00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:32,207 post climactic breath. 280 00:25:52,874 --> 00:25:56,749 Sitting naked this morning in the treetops, 281 00:25:56,749 --> 00:25:59,832 my body calm from lovemaking, 282 00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:02,624 my penis still long, 283 00:26:04,332 --> 00:26:06,207 but weary, 284 00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:10,624 yet always packed with new goodies, 285 00:26:10,624 --> 00:26:13,999 I pondered my wife's suicide. 286 00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,499 My fault? Her note said... 287 00:26:21,499 --> 00:26:23,249 Yep. Too much sex. 288 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,665 Oh sorry, I like sex. 289 00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:32,541 Can't help being good at sex. 290 00:26:38,041 --> 00:26:40,249 Last night we practised 291 00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:41,958 your exercise, the "Busy Mole", 292 00:26:41,958 --> 00:26:45,791 and Alexander managed to get his whole nose up my anus! 293 00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:54,499 Okay, lovely stuff. 294 00:26:55,708 --> 00:26:58,499 So let's now delve into our emotional pots 295 00:26:58,499 --> 00:27:02,332 and explore ourselves with the Spirit Girls. 296 00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:04,124 Blue. 297 00:27:16,874 --> 00:27:20,208 Dicing or cubing is fine. 298 00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:24,582 What is it? 299 00:27:24,582 --> 00:27:26,957 We need to sit with them so I can sort this out. 300 00:27:26,958 --> 00:27:28,208 No please don't. 301 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:31,791 Hello. 302 00:27:32,374 --> 00:27:33,499 Hello. 303 00:27:34,624 --> 00:27:36,124 Do you recognise this? 304 00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:39,416 Oh the mental guy! 305 00:27:40,457 --> 00:27:43,957 This is him babe! From the supermarket. 306 00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:45,707 Rufus! 307 00:27:49,958 --> 00:27:51,166 Sorry, sorry. 308 00:27:51,540 --> 00:27:52,999 Just a bit of fun. 309 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,290 It's not fun. 310 00:27:54,290 --> 00:27:57,082 You know you brought on my... 311 00:27:57,083 --> 00:27:59,625 ...worst ever psoriasis flare up! 312 00:28:00,374 --> 00:28:04,832 Me? You were the one throwing cans at my head! 313 00:28:05,415 --> 00:28:09,582 Seriously babe he was like a gorilla on a comedown. 314 00:28:09,874 --> 00:28:11,958 Stop it, he looks a bit teary. 315 00:28:13,708 --> 00:28:15,708 Let's go Laura. 316 00:28:19,708 --> 00:28:22,833 Poor guy, probably just needs a good shag. 317 00:28:25,624 --> 00:28:29,082 We all have trapped trauma. 318 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,291 Release the beast. 319 00:28:33,916 --> 00:28:36,124 Good Stefan. Good Rufus. 320 00:28:39,624 --> 00:28:40,916 The Moosemen. 321 00:28:41,540 --> 00:28:43,165 Let the trauma bubble. 322 00:28:44,582 --> 00:28:46,374 What am I meant to be doing? 323 00:28:48,415 --> 00:28:51,749 Life is just a disco of sensations. 324 00:28:51,749 --> 00:28:52,916 Let your body loose. 325 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,000 Really go to town. 326 00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:57,666 Yes touch those boobs. 327 00:28:58,540 --> 00:28:59,582 Stroke them. 328 00:28:59,582 --> 00:29:02,207 I'm a horny Cobra. 329 00:29:06,208 --> 00:29:08,750 What are you doing? 330 00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:12,166 They'll make you have sex with them Bruno. 331 00:29:16,666 --> 00:29:18,124 Who's scared? 332 00:29:18,125 --> 00:29:21,041 I'm an eagle pimp with a bit of a grudge! 333 00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:29,416 Julie is my hot kestrel hooker. 334 00:29:42,540 --> 00:29:44,124 It's good to bleed. 335 00:29:53,624 --> 00:29:57,291 - I feel like I'm 15 again. Me too! 336 00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:03,374 We should go in. 337 00:30:06,125 --> 00:30:07,416 Angel breath. 338 00:30:09,125 --> 00:30:10,750 Dog breath. 339 00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:13,583 Angel breath. 340 00:30:15,457 --> 00:30:17,040 Dog breath. 341 00:30:17,540 --> 00:30:19,874 No! Stay focused please. 342 00:30:24,125 --> 00:30:28,041 Bruno, imagine Laura is a young Brigitte Bardot 343 00:30:28,041 --> 00:30:30,499 and ask if you can touch her in a 344 00:30:30,499 --> 00:30:31,957 special place? 345 00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:36,707 Laura can I touch you in a special place? 346 00:30:36,708 --> 00:30:37,749 Yes. 347 00:30:42,499 --> 00:30:45,707 Laura, Bruno is Tom Selleck, present day. 348 00:30:45,708 --> 00:30:49,666 Bruno can I touch you in a special place? 349 00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:50,708 Yes. 350 00:31:09,457 --> 00:31:10,790 Bruno, 351 00:31:11,624 --> 00:31:12,749 please sit down. 352 00:31:15,624 --> 00:31:16,916 Watch me. 353 00:31:21,916 --> 00:31:26,791 I vibrate on your frequency, together we tremble. 354 00:31:32,624 --> 00:31:34,707 Are you ready for me? 355 00:31:36,958 --> 00:31:38,875 Yes please. 356 00:31:51,540 --> 00:31:53,874 She's hit Maximum Arousal. 357 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,208 Bjorg, may I touch you somewhere special? 358 00:32:02,208 --> 00:32:03,750 Your yoni's twitching. 359 00:32:04,374 --> 00:32:05,707 It is. 360 00:32:06,749 --> 00:32:09,916 And I've biggened. You've biggened my mister. 361 00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:33,083 Okay, okay thank you Bjorg. 362 00:32:33,916 --> 00:32:35,291 I get it now. 363 00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:40,374 -Thank you Laura. -Thank you Bjorg. 364 00:32:40,374 --> 00:32:42,040 Bruno. 365 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:44,374 Little Man. 366 00:32:46,208 --> 00:32:47,458 Broken! 367 00:32:50,374 --> 00:32:52,249 Dog breath. 368 00:32:52,540 --> 00:32:54,415 Angel breath. 369 00:32:57,666 --> 00:32:59,791 Broken man, here we go. 370 00:33:00,749 --> 00:33:01,749 Okay. 371 00:33:11,749 --> 00:33:13,499 A faint heartbeat, 372 00:33:14,666 --> 00:33:16,624 like an elderly mouse. 373 00:33:19,749 --> 00:33:20,832 Stop it. 374 00:33:24,958 --> 00:33:25,875 Stop it? 375 00:33:26,874 --> 00:33:28,333 Yes stop it. 376 00:33:34,666 --> 00:33:36,708 Little Man's not ready. 377 00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:39,916 Okay. 378 00:33:40,332 --> 00:33:45,332 Laura I'm going to leave now if you'd care to join me. 379 00:33:45,332 --> 00:33:47,999 See you later. Okay, later. 380 00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:54,332 A toddler with a moustache. 381 00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:55,499 Oh well. 382 00:33:55,791 --> 00:33:57,666 I want you to read this tonight. 383 00:33:58,374 --> 00:34:00,707 It's my latest book "The Toothy Vulva". 384 00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,666 Oh, it looks interesting. 385 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:04,374 I like it. 386 00:34:07,250 --> 00:34:08,416 Thank you Bjorg. 387 00:34:12,166 --> 00:34:13,541 Thank you Laura. 388 00:34:14,125 --> 00:34:15,416 Later. 389 00:34:19,749 --> 00:34:21,333 Hungry! 390 00:34:32,624 --> 00:34:35,249 So you cheated on all of your boyfriends? 391 00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:37,833 Yeah cos I thought I could do better. 392 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,416 Oh dear, so what happened? 393 00:34:40,416 --> 00:34:43,457 I realised I was just cheating myself. 394 00:34:43,457 --> 00:34:44,666 Oh yeah. 395 00:34:54,833 --> 00:34:58,791 I have with me my accomplished co-host, Freddy. 396 00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:02,124 What's that Freddy? 397 00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,624 Teach me how to make love Bjorg. 398 00:35:05,041 --> 00:35:06,250 Okay, okay. 399 00:35:09,958 --> 00:35:15,457 We learn truly poetic lovemaking through the language of 400 00:35:15,457 --> 00:35:18,374 breath, sound and ecstatic touch. 401 00:35:21,083 --> 00:35:24,750 Ok, Louis bring in our first erotic guide please. 402 00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:28,750 Prepare to learn from the Master. 403 00:35:40,457 --> 00:35:42,332 The feathery gigolo. 404 00:35:46,958 --> 00:35:49,625 Oh, our lesbian potters. 405 00:35:52,833 --> 00:35:54,916 Enjoy some cock. 406 00:35:58,374 --> 00:36:00,874 Goodbye, good luck. 407 00:36:03,416 --> 00:36:05,249 Louis our next instructor. 408 00:36:05,250 --> 00:36:07,625 She's a bit shy... 409 00:36:14,958 --> 00:36:18,000 Oh she wants us! 410 00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,332 Goodnight. 411 00:36:24,541 --> 00:36:24,791 3141 412 00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:32,041 Louis, go hard or go home. 413 00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:34,916 Introducing... 414 00:36:39,041 --> 00:36:41,541 Oh Laura, your favourite animal. 415 00:36:43,499 --> 00:36:45,249 The hipster. 416 00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:49,124 He's taking us. 417 00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:51,707 Go party guys. 418 00:36:52,499 --> 00:36:54,166 Later. 419 00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:58,332 The goat has been lumped with Bruno the brat. 420 00:36:59,916 --> 00:37:02,250 What shall we call him, Frederick? 421 00:37:03,041 --> 00:37:04,291 Yeah. 422 00:37:05,624 --> 00:37:06,999 Or Frank? 423 00:37:08,749 --> 00:37:09,791 Fritz. 424 00:37:10,250 --> 00:37:11,250 Fritz yeah. 425 00:37:13,916 --> 00:37:15,666 Come on. 426 00:37:37,416 --> 00:37:38,916 You knocked me! 427 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,541 No I didn't! 428 00:37:40,541 --> 00:37:41,582 With your pointy elbow. 429 00:37:41,583 --> 00:37:43,208 Is this about my so called flirting?! 430 00:37:43,208 --> 00:37:44,208 It's disgusting! 431 00:37:44,208 --> 00:37:45,291 Fuck you! 432 00:37:45,291 --> 00:37:48,374 Everyone's so bored of your anecdotes! No one cares! 433 00:37:48,374 --> 00:37:49,166 Dianne! 434 00:37:49,166 --> 00:37:50,208 Boring cunt! 435 00:37:50,208 --> 00:37:51,958 Your sister tried to fuck me! 436 00:38:00,749 --> 00:38:05,583 This morning we're moving round to our front body yeah? 437 00:38:05,583 --> 00:38:10,666 Working with our fruity bits and conkers yeah? 438 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,708 With your fingers just dance... 439 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,291 ...around your tinglies. 440 00:38:17,833 --> 00:38:19,666 Have fun with your tingly. 441 00:38:21,416 --> 00:38:27,332 So lets take our hands and hold our tinglies. 442 00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:31,083 Feels funky? 443 00:38:31,833 --> 00:38:34,166 Mine's roaring. 444 00:38:34,958 --> 00:38:36,208 Trina? 445 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:38,541 Feels happy 446 00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:43,791 My tingly's hot and itchy. 447 00:38:46,708 --> 00:38:51,249 My area feels dead but ready to be resurrected. 448 00:38:52,041 --> 00:38:53,250 Okay yeah. 449 00:38:54,041 --> 00:38:56,416 Mine feels sleepy. 450 00:38:57,583 --> 00:38:58,666 Sleepy. 451 00:38:58,749 --> 00:39:01,499 Only you can awaken your tingly. 452 00:39:03,749 --> 00:39:08,541 So let's turn to the person on our right yeah and ask 453 00:39:08,541 --> 00:39:12,124 if f you can touch their tingly and if they say yes... 454 00:39:12,624 --> 00:39:14,833 ...touch their tingly. 455 00:39:16,125 --> 00:39:17,666 Can I cup your tingly? 456 00:39:19,916 --> 00:39:20,958 Yes. 457 00:39:21,416 --> 00:39:22,916 Can I touch your tingly? 458 00:39:30,958 --> 00:39:33,208 Can I pat your tingly Julie? 459 00:39:33,583 --> 00:39:35,249 Yes Laura. 460 00:39:40,499 --> 00:39:41,999 Thank you. 461 00:40:00,457 --> 00:40:04,124 For years I used an ordinary cafetiere but 462 00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:07,291 then I tried the AeroPress and wow... 463 00:40:07,291 --> 00:40:09,207 - Twat! - Alexander throw it! 464 00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:10,333 Piggy Bitch! 465 00:40:10,416 --> 00:40:11,957 Go Dianne hurl it back! 466 00:40:11,958 --> 00:40:14,000 Thimble dick! 467 00:40:14,916 --> 00:40:16,291 Flappy tits! 468 00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:19,958 Your breath smells like dog farts! 469 00:40:19,958 --> 00:40:22,041 You look like your Mum when you cum! 470 00:40:23,749 --> 00:40:24,791 I hate you! 471 00:40:29,624 --> 00:40:30,958 Very nice. 472 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,041 -No! -You were too busy talking. 473 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,458 I'm going to the studio. 474 00:40:54,541 --> 00:40:55,457 Chop chop. 475 00:40:57,083 --> 00:40:58,375 Bruno, chop chop. 476 00:41:07,624 --> 00:41:10,416 You can finish your toast in the studio. 477 00:41:26,791 --> 00:41:27,874 Welcome. 478 00:41:35,374 --> 00:41:38,624 Some of you here are very flabby... 479 00:41:39,457 --> 00:41:43,416 ...emotionally fat and constipated. 480 00:41:43,416 --> 00:41:46,791 Today we need to pass those big negative stools 481 00:41:46,791 --> 00:41:50,916 because right now many of you are just letting out 482 00:41:50,916 --> 00:41:53,541 long stinky farts. 483 00:41:54,958 --> 00:41:57,083 We must release our shadow side... 484 00:41:57,708 --> 00:41:59,958 Shall we take a condom? 485 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,166 We don't need condoms. 486 00:42:02,332 --> 00:42:03,957 They might have diseases. 487 00:42:03,958 --> 00:42:06,041 As if we're having sex with other people. 488 00:42:06,916 --> 00:42:09,500 That which we resist, persists. 489 00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:11,958 So let's birth our, 490 00:42:11,958 --> 00:42:15,416 brown bottom babies. 491 00:42:17,875 --> 00:42:19,291 Any questions? 492 00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:25,041 Is this still metaphorical? 493 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,875 I hope so! 494 00:42:32,624 --> 00:42:37,124 I'm not planning to defecate. I did one before lunch so... 495 00:42:37,541 --> 00:42:38,957 Another question? 496 00:42:42,791 --> 00:42:45,083 I've been reading 'The Toothy Vulva'. 497 00:42:47,166 --> 00:42:50,583 You write about "an old lady's dentures". 498 00:42:50,583 --> 00:42:53,999 How did they get lodged down there Bjorg? 499 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000 So metaphors.... 500 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,125 Does the vulva really have teeth? 501 00:42:59,833 --> 00:43:03,624 In the case of the old lady... 502 00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:10,374 We see a woman so desperate for intimacy, 503 00:43:10,374 --> 00:43:16,999 she imagines her dentures to be those of a handsome young soldier 504 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,833 pleasuring her with such voracity 505 00:43:20,833 --> 00:43:24,583 he loses his teeth inside her shrivelled old labia. 506 00:43:26,416 --> 00:43:27,749 Thanks Bjorg. 507 00:43:34,332 --> 00:43:36,624 Is that a piece of toast? 508 00:43:39,083 --> 00:43:40,916 You're hiding toast? 509 00:43:40,916 --> 00:43:42,125 Toast? 510 00:43:42,499 --> 00:43:44,374 You're munching toast in my studio? 511 00:43:45,166 --> 00:43:46,332 No. 512 00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,332 You're banning toast? 513 00:43:49,083 --> 00:43:50,916 Give it up. 514 00:43:50,916 --> 00:43:53,166 Hand the man the toast. 515 00:43:56,374 --> 00:43:59,541 Jesus I didn't get any lunch and... 516 00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:02,416 Stop bleating on about your shitty toast in my studio. 517 00:44:03,583 --> 00:44:05,041 Fuck off! 518 00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:09,416 Now there's bad energy in the studio. 519 00:44:11,457 --> 00:44:13,124 What a big fuss. 520 00:44:14,250 --> 00:44:15,666 Oh hello. 521 00:44:15,666 --> 00:44:17,166 Sorry. 522 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:18,875 Have a good one. 523 00:44:28,624 --> 00:44:30,124 Yeah, firm but bouncy. 524 00:44:31,250 --> 00:44:33,208 Stay, don't watch. 525 00:44:46,166 --> 00:44:48,333 Is this foreplay? 526 00:44:52,666 --> 00:44:54,333 Should be pleasant doing it here. 527 00:44:55,374 --> 00:44:58,124 If we follow Bjorg's advice, 528 00:44:58,125 --> 00:45:00,291 we should slowly peel off... 529 00:45:00,291 --> 00:45:02,666 Can we not include Bjorg in our intercourse. 530 00:45:02,708 --> 00:45:03,666 Okay. 531 00:45:05,791 --> 00:45:08,291 But I want to feel wooed. 532 00:45:08,291 --> 00:45:09,499 Wooed? 533 00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:10,332 Yeah. 534 00:45:11,374 --> 00:45:12,166 Okay. 535 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:18,500 So... 536 00:45:20,916 --> 00:45:22,250 Angel breath. 537 00:45:24,208 --> 00:45:25,666 Dog breath. 538 00:45:25,666 --> 00:45:28,208 Do we have to narrate the breathing? 539 00:45:30,041 --> 00:45:31,041 And... 540 00:45:32,916 --> 00:45:33,916 And... 541 00:45:44,291 --> 00:45:45,624 Are you ready? 542 00:46:07,583 --> 00:46:08,583 Okay. 543 00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:09,583 Wow. 544 00:46:48,583 --> 00:46:50,541 Why do you always stop? 545 00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:51,582 I don't. 546 00:46:51,583 --> 00:46:52,874 When I get into it, you shut down. 547 00:46:52,875 --> 00:46:55,458 You're clearly wishing it was Bjorg! 548 00:46:56,041 --> 00:46:58,541 Now I wish it was Bjorg, yeah! 549 00:46:58,541 --> 00:47:00,666 Just as I thought. 550 00:47:06,749 --> 00:47:08,666 Why do you make everything so hard? 551 00:47:08,666 --> 00:47:09,958 Oh I make everything hard? 552 00:47:12,916 --> 00:47:17,374 Remember you're the one that had the affair Laura. 553 00:47:17,374 --> 00:47:18,749 You had the affair! 554 00:47:18,749 --> 00:47:22,583 Don't forget that you're the one who ruined us! 555 00:47:23,791 --> 00:47:24,708 Yeah. 556 00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:29,458 I thought we agreed to move on. 557 00:47:45,958 --> 00:47:48,958 How was it for you darling? 558 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:58,582 I wish we could elope. 559 00:48:04,125 --> 00:48:06,250 You just get me. 560 00:48:07,125 --> 00:48:08,208 Bruno! 561 00:48:18,208 --> 00:48:19,749 Stay there. 562 00:48:19,749 --> 00:48:20,833 Bruno? 563 00:48:22,125 --> 00:48:23,250 Bruno? 564 00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:26,583 Sorry. 565 00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:30,083 Definitely not Bruno. 566 00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:35,625 Bruno? 567 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,291 Bruno? 568 00:48:52,833 --> 00:48:56,333 What's wrong with me? 569 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,208 Shall we go and say hello to Bjorg? 570 00:49:15,958 --> 00:49:16,958 Okay. 571 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:20,500 You're finding comfort in the goat? 572 00:49:21,749 --> 00:49:23,708 Yeah, he's a good listener. 573 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,958 I feel a strain upon my rod, 574 00:49:29,958 --> 00:49:32,624 my mouth is wet for trout or cod. 575 00:49:32,624 --> 00:49:35,499 My hook plunges your flappy hole, 576 00:49:35,499 --> 00:49:37,457 breathless lass, spinning on my pole. 577 00:49:37,457 --> 00:49:39,832 My rod springs north when 'twas just south. 578 00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:42,083 I wriggle my hook in your sticky mouth. 579 00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:45,291 Your bosom heaving, your gullet wide. 580 00:49:45,291 --> 00:49:47,499 I slam you down, your body writhes. 581 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,332 I prise you open, 582 00:49:49,332 --> 00:49:50,957 taste your flesh. 583 00:49:50,958 --> 00:49:53,833 You feel so good and really fresh. 584 00:49:53,833 --> 00:49:55,208 You fill me up, 585 00:49:55,208 --> 00:49:56,708 but keep me slim. 586 00:49:57,875 --> 00:50:00,000 Feels like I've been at the gym. 587 00:50:00,166 --> 00:50:03,416 Wow, that's so beautiful. 588 00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:06,916 Yeah, I love to rhyme by water. 589 00:50:07,624 --> 00:50:10,916 Oh, this is a big boy. 590 00:50:27,041 --> 00:50:27,583 Catch. 591 00:50:27,916 --> 00:50:29,416 You can slay him. 592 00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:39,333 Don't you ever feel guilty for killing the fish? 593 00:50:39,499 --> 00:50:40,957 Transforming. 594 00:50:41,624 --> 00:50:44,749 Yeah but wouldn't it be more relaxing to just eat vegetables. 595 00:50:45,624 --> 00:50:47,041 But Laura, 596 00:50:47,041 --> 00:50:50,583 you strike me as a woman who likes a big hunt. 597 00:50:53,916 --> 00:50:55,166 Thank you. 598 00:50:56,583 --> 00:50:57,916 Come. 599 00:51:00,708 --> 00:51:02,249 Please end him. 600 00:51:11,166 --> 00:51:12,125 No. 601 00:51:15,125 --> 00:51:17,208 You're a wildcat?! 602 00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:18,833 I like that. 603 00:51:18,833 --> 00:51:20,791 My fingers stink. 604 00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:23,499 What to do? 605 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,041 It's scaly. 606 00:51:38,791 --> 00:51:40,499 Can I join you? 607 00:51:40,499 --> 00:51:41,499 Yes. 608 00:51:49,291 --> 00:51:50,582 Your tongue is naughty. 609 00:51:59,583 --> 00:52:00,833 These are rather fiddly. 610 00:52:00,833 --> 00:52:03,083 Sorry they're so small. 611 00:52:03,083 --> 00:52:04,500 Very small. 612 00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:14,041 Everything going well with Bruno? 613 00:52:14,125 --> 00:52:17,125 Yeah Bruno is loving the breathing exercises. 614 00:52:35,833 --> 00:52:37,457 Do you need to take that? 615 00:52:37,457 --> 00:52:39,749 It'll just be Hans again. 616 00:52:40,125 --> 00:52:44,375 We've been playing phone tag, but I'd rather play willy tag. 617 00:52:47,291 --> 00:52:49,541 I'm going to just pause for a second. 618 00:52:51,749 --> 00:52:54,166 You can keep doing that, but faster... 619 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,750 Hans. 620 00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:11,832 Did my poncho come? 621 00:53:14,041 --> 00:53:16,000 In the russet weave? 622 00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:18,166 Really? 623 00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:25,708 No I said I want more gold flecks woven in. 624 00:53:26,166 --> 00:53:28,041 You can stop now. 625 00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:31,124 It was good. 626 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,208 But I paid for the bespoke version. 627 00:53:35,958 --> 00:53:38,458 Well I need a much bigger hood. 628 00:53:41,208 --> 00:53:44,375 No, no, much more pointy. 629 00:53:45,083 --> 00:53:47,583 Cos it's just more manly! 630 00:53:50,250 --> 00:53:51,750 No I want it now! 631 00:53:53,291 --> 00:53:54,791 Just feels sexier. 632 00:53:55,958 --> 00:53:58,375 Well I know Bono had one, 633 00:53:59,624 --> 00:54:01,291 with the pointy red hood. 634 00:54:02,499 --> 00:54:03,499 Exactly. 635 00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:06,708 Made him much taller, taller. 636 00:54:06,708 --> 00:54:07,666 Oh Laura... 637 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,125 All is cool? 638 00:54:13,166 --> 00:54:14,958 Haven't heard from her thank God. 639 00:54:14,958 --> 00:54:17,916 No Hans, that was never proven. 640 00:54:21,749 --> 00:54:22,791 Fritz? 641 00:54:24,125 --> 00:54:25,083 Oh shit. 642 00:54:26,291 --> 00:54:27,207 Fritz? 643 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,958 Men are from Mars, 644 00:54:35,958 --> 00:54:40,208 the greatest planet in our solar system. 645 00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:42,916 Home of Olympus Mons. 646 00:54:44,416 --> 00:54:49,457 A volcano. It's red and it's hard, 647 00:54:49,457 --> 00:54:51,749 and sometimes it needs to ERUPT! 648 00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,249 WE... 649 00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:56,583 We must not repress our ape selves. 650 00:54:57,332 --> 00:54:58,666 Let him rage. 651 00:54:59,499 --> 00:55:00,666 Free him! 652 00:55:02,749 --> 00:55:05,833 We will not stay trapped at the back of the zoo, 653 00:55:05,833 --> 00:55:07,916 bald and fat, 654 00:55:07,916 --> 00:55:09,833 throwing our faeces at each other. 655 00:55:11,083 --> 00:55:13,000 Feel the magma! 656 00:55:22,166 --> 00:55:23,958 Breasts to the sky. 657 00:55:24,499 --> 00:55:25,999 Hi Laura. 658 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,250 Oh I'm just looking... 659 00:55:31,749 --> 00:55:33,958 Let it out you apes! 660 00:55:35,416 --> 00:55:36,791 My cock is King! 661 00:55:39,708 --> 00:55:42,624 I'm coming! We're coming! 662 00:56:13,833 --> 00:56:16,166 I never felt so male! 663 00:56:16,166 --> 00:56:19,833 I finally have a tool to manage my stress and my anger. 664 00:56:19,833 --> 00:56:21,333 You just go... 665 00:56:24,291 --> 00:56:29,166 - And then you just feel sexy and chill. -I've lost Fritz. 666 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,416 How the fuck could you lose Fritz?! 667 00:56:33,416 --> 00:56:34,916 Literally how? 668 00:56:36,499 --> 00:56:38,082 One moment. 669 00:56:46,958 --> 00:56:48,833 It's actually not such a big deal. 670 00:56:49,250 --> 00:56:53,624 I feel really chilled and confident he'll come back, 671 00:56:53,624 --> 00:56:55,499 when he's good and ready. 672 00:56:55,499 --> 00:56:56,999 Oh yeah? 673 00:57:03,332 --> 00:57:07,791 It's a bonafide breakthrough. I feel I could take on anything now Laura. 674 00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:11,749 This suitcase feels so last year, full of pointless baggage. 675 00:57:11,749 --> 00:57:13,499 Your earplugs my love. 676 00:57:13,499 --> 00:57:16,832 I don't need to shut anything out anymore. 677 00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:19,916 You might want to give them a little dust off. 678 00:57:21,416 --> 00:57:23,666 I'm in love with Bjorg. 679 00:57:25,624 --> 00:57:26,999 Huh? 680 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,291 I've fallen in love with Bjorg. 681 00:57:30,374 --> 00:57:32,999 Is this a joke? You can't be in love with Bjorg. 682 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:38,208 You must have seen it building? And then I rubbed his penis at the lake. 683 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,541 Did he ejaculate? 684 00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:42,166 Yeah, but just a tiny bit... 685 00:57:42,166 --> 00:57:43,916 Stop right there. 686 00:57:56,916 --> 00:58:00,958 I'm trying to work on our marriage, and you're off merrily yanking Bjorg's dick? 687 00:58:01,624 --> 00:58:03,624 It was just a dribble. 688 00:58:03,624 --> 00:58:04,624 FUCK YOU! 689 00:58:06,166 --> 00:58:07,333 Bruno. 690 00:58:08,916 --> 00:58:10,208 I'm sorry. 691 00:58:12,708 --> 00:58:14,874 I'm trying to live my truth. 692 00:58:16,332 --> 00:58:17,457 Bruno! 693 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,500 Slut. 694 00:58:25,332 --> 00:58:26,707 Nun laughing. 695 00:58:29,541 --> 00:58:30,791 King laughing. 696 00:58:35,332 --> 00:58:36,541 Clown laughing. 697 00:59:00,624 --> 00:59:02,333 Clown laughing! 698 00:59:12,457 --> 00:59:13,957 Shut up. 699 00:59:18,666 --> 00:59:20,166 Fucking psycho. 700 00:59:27,166 --> 00:59:30,125 Not in "Shits 'n Giggles". 701 00:59:34,125 --> 00:59:36,750 I'm so disappointed. 702 00:59:38,125 --> 00:59:41,625 I would've expected more from you two. 703 00:59:42,208 --> 00:59:44,416 Grown men. 704 00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:46,707 Sorry? 705 00:59:47,291 --> 00:59:48,791 Yes miss. 706 00:59:48,791 --> 00:59:51,999 Well you should be. 707 00:59:52,791 --> 00:59:55,208 Right, you're going on a journey, 708 00:59:55,208 --> 00:59:56,833 from here, 709 00:59:56,833 --> 00:59:58,624 to here. 710 01:00:01,916 --> 01:00:03,416 Map, 711 01:00:04,250 --> 01:00:06,083 and beefsticks. 712 01:00:07,125 --> 01:00:08,916 And don't fight! 713 01:00:10,083 --> 01:00:11,583 Go! 714 01:00:15,166 --> 01:00:16,833 Are we close? 715 01:00:16,833 --> 01:00:18,041 No. 716 01:00:19,708 --> 01:00:21,958 I spy with my little eye, 717 01:00:21,958 --> 01:00:24,833 something beginning with... 718 01:00:25,583 --> 01:00:26,833 ...with P. 719 01:00:26,833 --> 01:00:29,166 Penis. It's you. 720 01:00:29,332 --> 01:00:30,457 Good job. 721 01:00:32,958 --> 01:00:34,541 My little friends. 722 01:00:41,499 --> 01:00:46,124 I know, but Mum I never said it was over. 723 01:00:48,291 --> 01:00:51,457 So I think you asking to see it was quite inappropriate. 724 01:00:51,457 --> 01:00:53,707 Yes it's more of a fossil hammer. 725 01:00:54,541 --> 01:00:55,999 What can I do you for? 726 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,958 I need to move out of my cabin. 727 01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:01,125 Oh why's that? 728 01:01:02,499 --> 01:01:06,791 I've had sexual relations with Bjorg. 729 01:01:08,291 --> 01:01:10,124 Oh God help us. 730 01:01:12,041 --> 01:01:13,291 Yeah. 731 01:01:13,291 --> 01:01:15,666 You're not the first. 732 01:01:17,833 --> 01:01:19,958 Bjorg, it's Margaret. 733 01:01:19,958 --> 01:01:21,374 I'm in a meeting. 734 01:01:21,374 --> 01:01:23,582 You need to make room in your cabin. 735 01:01:23,583 --> 01:01:25,208 Why? What for? 736 01:01:25,749 --> 01:01:26,791 Laura. 737 01:01:27,499 --> 01:01:29,249 Just a couple of nights. 738 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:31,624 She says she's had sexual relations with you. 739 01:01:31,624 --> 01:01:33,374 You don't need to tell him that. 740 01:01:33,374 --> 01:01:36,416 You'll need to consult directly with Bjorg. 741 01:01:38,749 --> 01:01:40,124 Thank you Margaret. 742 01:01:41,083 --> 01:01:42,583 Thank you. 743 01:01:50,291 --> 01:01:51,749 Pull it hard. 744 01:01:54,416 --> 01:01:56,582 Laura, you look awful. 745 01:01:58,916 --> 01:02:01,541 Is this a bad time? 746 01:02:01,541 --> 01:02:04,874 No just listening to my album, "The Weepy Jester". 747 01:02:05,250 --> 01:02:06,583 Mindblowing huh? 748 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,541 Please sit. 749 01:02:13,416 --> 01:02:15,999 Have you had the pleasure of Alexander? 750 01:02:16,499 --> 01:02:19,999 You'll notice he has long, exciting toes. 751 01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:22,208 - Hey Laura. - Hey Alexander. 752 01:02:26,457 --> 01:02:27,749 Oh hello Laura. 753 01:02:31,208 --> 01:02:33,583 I need another poop. 754 01:02:34,499 --> 01:02:35,749 Seriously? 755 01:02:35,749 --> 01:02:37,333 Just give me the toilet roll. 756 01:02:45,666 --> 01:02:46,749 Thanks. 757 01:03:36,332 --> 01:03:38,499 That's really arousing my colon. 758 01:04:29,291 --> 01:04:30,332 Laura. 759 01:04:30,833 --> 01:04:32,541 All is cool? 760 01:04:32,541 --> 01:04:33,999 Yeah. 761 01:04:58,749 --> 01:05:00,541 Guess this is it. 762 01:05:00,875 --> 01:05:02,666 Home sweet home. 763 01:05:09,499 --> 01:05:11,749 It's such a cute little place. 764 01:05:16,457 --> 01:05:20,207 I wonder what they're expecting us to do here? 765 01:05:28,708 --> 01:05:30,458 Someone's been knitting. 766 01:05:31,791 --> 01:05:34,083 Rufus, don't wave that thing around. 767 01:05:34,457 --> 01:05:35,707 So rad. 768 01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:16,833 Shall we have our beefsticks? 769 01:06:20,583 --> 01:06:21,666 Okay. 770 01:06:25,083 --> 01:06:27,083 Have you lost them? 771 01:06:27,457 --> 01:06:28,291 No. 772 01:06:29,499 --> 01:06:32,374 Margaret gave us two beefsticks so where are they? 773 01:06:32,374 --> 01:06:35,416 Rufus don't bust my balls about some manky old dog chews. 774 01:06:35,416 --> 01:06:38,249 I have empty pockets and my blood sugar's crashing! 775 01:06:38,250 --> 01:06:41,041 I'm sure your body doesn't need another beefstick. 776 01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:42,499 Don't body shame me! 777 01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:44,457 Always the victim! 778 01:06:44,457 --> 01:06:48,416 Grow up Rufus! GROW UP! 779 01:06:55,416 --> 01:06:56,874 In here? 780 01:06:58,583 --> 01:07:00,916 You lying little shit! 781 01:07:00,916 --> 01:07:05,291 Oh I'm so sorry I ate your precious little doggy chew! 782 01:07:10,250 --> 01:07:11,875 It's loaded you know. 783 01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:14,208 So why don't you kill me? 784 01:07:14,208 --> 01:07:15,457 I bloody should! 785 01:07:15,457 --> 01:07:17,041 Or shall I shoot myself? 786 01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:19,833 No one would fucking care! 787 01:07:23,749 --> 01:07:25,916 Nobody needs me. 788 01:07:27,541 --> 01:07:30,541 I'm just a broken little man. 789 01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:33,332 I'm sure that's not true. 790 01:07:33,332 --> 01:07:35,832 You're nearly 5 foot 6. 791 01:07:35,833 --> 01:07:38,708 No, I'm a useless man. 792 01:07:39,457 --> 01:07:42,874 I made Laura marry me. 793 01:07:45,583 --> 01:07:47,791 Please put the gun down. 794 01:07:49,916 --> 01:07:51,041 Please. 795 01:07:52,332 --> 01:07:53,624 It's empty. 796 01:08:01,708 --> 01:08:03,583 Kind of empty. 797 01:08:27,707 --> 01:08:29,457 It's okay. 798 01:08:30,457 --> 01:08:32,582 I've got you. 799 01:09:11,374 --> 01:09:13,291 This tea tastes really weird. 800 01:09:13,666 --> 01:09:16,082 It's just a herbal one. 801 01:09:17,332 --> 01:09:19,249 Never liked herbal tea. 802 01:09:21,125 --> 01:09:23,583 Well it's settling my tummy. 803 01:09:58,083 --> 01:09:59,541 Fritz? 804 01:10:22,166 --> 01:10:23,124 Fritz. 805 01:11:19,791 --> 01:11:22,707 Welcome to my cathedral! 806 01:11:25,707 --> 01:11:28,166 Oh Fritz, you Romeo. 807 01:11:55,208 --> 01:11:56,541 Fritz! 808 01:12:06,457 --> 01:12:09,540 I've found you my little Fritz! 809 01:12:18,416 --> 01:12:19,791 There's a boy! 810 01:12:20,125 --> 01:12:22,500 There's a boy in a pie! 811 01:12:23,916 --> 01:12:24,874 Hello! 812 01:12:28,290 --> 01:12:29,707 Hello ginger boy. 813 01:12:31,707 --> 01:12:32,666 Bruno. 814 01:12:33,374 --> 01:12:35,499 My God, your name is Bruno!? 815 01:12:35,916 --> 01:12:36,958 Bruno. 816 01:12:36,958 --> 01:12:39,833 I am also called Bruno. 817 01:12:41,166 --> 01:12:44,374 Bruno. 818 01:12:45,958 --> 01:12:47,457 Can I join you in the pie? 819 01:12:47,457 --> 01:12:49,040 Yes. 820 01:12:49,041 --> 01:12:51,208 It looks delicious. 821 01:12:52,791 --> 01:12:53,957 Help me. 822 01:12:53,958 --> 01:12:57,416 Okay I'm coming for a swim. 823 01:12:58,958 --> 01:13:01,625 I'm a world champion. 824 01:13:03,332 --> 01:13:04,582 Okay. 825 01:13:04,582 --> 01:13:07,999 If the mozzarella's long enough? 826 01:13:13,541 --> 01:13:14,707 You like cheese? 827 01:13:15,874 --> 01:13:17,208 So yellow. 828 01:13:20,541 --> 01:13:21,957 Grab it. 829 01:13:23,624 --> 01:13:24,791 Now climb up. 830 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:30,000 Where is God when you need him? 831 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:36,125 I'm sending my long thing. 832 01:13:36,624 --> 01:13:39,207 Take my long hand. 833 01:13:43,582 --> 01:13:45,124 See my pipes? 834 01:13:46,416 --> 01:13:47,999 Grab my hand pipes. 835 01:13:48,958 --> 01:13:50,666 Pipes coming down. 836 01:13:51,166 --> 01:13:52,374 Coming down. 837 01:14:01,374 --> 01:14:04,374 Hello, do you feel okay? 838 01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:24,791 They want us to come back Ginger Biscuit. 839 01:14:24,791 --> 01:14:26,166 Okay. 840 01:14:26,166 --> 01:14:27,166 I've got you. 841 01:14:42,041 --> 01:14:43,499 Bruno? 842 01:14:43,499 --> 01:14:45,249 Laura! 843 01:14:47,041 --> 01:14:48,624 You've found our Fritz!? 844 01:14:50,582 --> 01:14:52,582 And I've found my son! 845 01:14:53,916 --> 01:14:55,874 That's not your son, 846 01:14:55,874 --> 01:14:57,041 that's a log. 847 01:15:01,332 --> 01:15:02,790 Fritz! 848 01:15:02,791 --> 01:15:05,082 Oh shit. 849 01:15:23,707 --> 01:15:24,874 To Fritz! 850 01:15:26,332 --> 01:15:27,582 To Fritz. 851 01:15:33,250 --> 01:15:35,458 Would you like a little taste? 852 01:15:41,582 --> 01:15:43,457 It's okay to eat him darling. 853 01:15:49,374 --> 01:15:51,832 He's quite a picky eater. 854 01:15:55,208 --> 01:15:58,250 It's been a big day for us. 855 01:15:59,416 --> 01:16:00,957 Sorry Laura. 856 01:16:00,958 --> 01:16:03,291 Bless you Rufus. 857 01:16:20,916 --> 01:16:22,583 Are you okay? 858 01:16:24,332 --> 01:16:26,082 I'm okay. 859 01:16:28,874 --> 01:16:31,833 I'm sorry I hurt you Bruno. 860 01:16:34,582 --> 01:16:36,874 I have a note for you. 861 01:16:41,166 --> 01:16:46,374 I'm sick of the rejections and apologies Laura. 862 01:16:46,374 --> 01:16:48,916 I'm tired of being the broken man. 863 01:16:48,916 --> 01:16:51,916 I just want to strike out solo. 864 01:16:55,707 --> 01:17:00,332 I've made some really bad choices yeah? 865 01:17:07,290 --> 01:17:08,790 Okay but... 866 01:17:09,332 --> 01:17:12,665 ...I just feel like we're moving in different directions. 867 01:17:12,666 --> 01:17:14,874 Can't we talk things through? 868 01:17:16,374 --> 01:17:19,249 No I'm done talking. 869 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,625 And it's well past Ginger Biscuit's bedtime. 870 01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:26,332 You want to sleep with Dada tonight? 871 01:17:29,083 --> 01:17:31,291 Bedtime for Boo. 872 01:17:35,791 --> 01:17:38,541 You're such a special boy. 873 01:17:38,541 --> 01:17:40,957 Do you want a story? 874 01:17:50,541 --> 01:17:52,832 Okay no wriggling. 875 01:17:56,958 --> 01:17:57,833 Goodnight. 876 01:18:08,083 --> 01:18:09,416 Goodnight. 877 01:18:52,832 --> 01:18:55,874 What happened to my life? 878 01:19:43,666 --> 01:19:45,791 Hello. 879 01:19:45,791 --> 01:19:47,457 Hello Julie. 880 01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:50,958 Why aren't you nude? 881 01:19:50,958 --> 01:19:54,291 Should I be nude? 882 01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:57,791 Yeah it's rude not to be nude when it's Nude Tuesday. 883 01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:01,583 Nude Tuesday? 884 01:20:08,041 --> 01:20:10,541 But what about people who have thrush? 885 01:20:11,208 --> 01:20:14,374 There's lots of thrush and itchy willies but, 886 01:20:14,374 --> 01:20:16,499 it's not a biggie. 887 01:20:19,666 --> 01:20:21,707 The wind can really blast things out. 888 01:20:23,083 --> 01:20:24,583 Okay. 889 01:20:25,083 --> 01:20:26,290 Yeah. 890 01:20:26,290 --> 01:20:28,457 -Yeah. -Yeah. 891 01:20:44,791 --> 01:20:46,832 Dear Bruno. 892 01:20:48,374 --> 01:20:51,749 I've made some terrible mistakes but... 893 01:20:53,457 --> 01:20:57,540 ...marrying you and having our beautiful girls, 894 01:20:57,541 --> 01:21:00,124 wasn't one of them. 895 01:21:04,624 --> 01:21:09,082 Giving Bjorg a handjob maybe was... 896 01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:14,999 ...as was the Christmas anal fling 897 01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:19,208 with my idiot boss. 898 01:21:20,582 --> 01:21:23,207 I'm so sorry, but I realise, 899 01:21:23,208 --> 01:21:25,708 I need to be alone. 900 01:21:27,041 --> 01:21:31,541 To somehow get to know myself. 901 01:21:31,541 --> 01:21:33,166 Love you, 902 01:21:33,166 --> 01:21:34,416 Laura. 903 01:21:43,749 --> 01:21:46,166 - Hello. - Hello. 904 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:12,208 Nadine, what are you doing here? 905 01:22:12,208 --> 01:22:14,624 I've had enough, Bjorg enough! 906 01:22:14,624 --> 01:22:17,749 Enough? This is not good timing. 907 01:22:19,208 --> 01:22:20,958 Do you think that's his wife? 908 01:22:21,582 --> 01:22:23,666 I thought she was dead? 909 01:22:23,666 --> 01:22:25,124 This is a big day for me! 910 01:22:25,125 --> 01:22:26,666 Stop! Stop! 911 01:22:27,499 --> 01:22:30,916 Stop wobbling your floppy old dick at me. 912 01:22:31,457 --> 01:22:32,790 Come on darling. 913 01:22:34,041 --> 01:22:34,999 Hi Philippe. 914 01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:36,958 So where's my money? 915 01:22:36,958 --> 01:22:38,916 It's complex, I've invested it with Hans. 916 01:22:38,916 --> 01:22:41,999 Not more bloody ponchos!? - Don't make a scene. 917 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,374 You look after him. 918 01:22:43,374 --> 01:22:45,582 You gonna have a lovely time with Daddy. 919 01:22:50,374 --> 01:22:52,541 I'm leading a sacred baptism Nadine. 920 01:22:52,541 --> 01:22:53,707 I couldn't give a fuck. 921 01:22:53,707 --> 01:22:55,916 Such negative arrows. 922 01:23:08,832 --> 01:23:09,957 Hi Philippe. 923 01:23:14,832 --> 01:23:19,416 I'd like to introduce my friend, Philippe. 924 01:23:19,416 --> 01:23:21,457 Hi Philippe. 925 01:23:21,916 --> 01:23:23,249 Say hello. 926 01:23:23,624 --> 01:23:27,166 Hello! 927 01:23:30,666 --> 01:23:31,999 Hello! 928 01:23:36,041 --> 01:23:37,833 Take a seat. 929 01:23:51,749 --> 01:23:54,499 Are they off-brand Timberlands? 930 01:23:55,416 --> 01:23:58,416 Yeah a Christmas present from my boss 931 01:24:03,832 --> 01:24:04,666 Thank you. 932 01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:19,958 Where's everyone gone? 933 01:24:21,208 --> 01:24:22,791 To the final ceremony. 934 01:24:24,290 --> 01:24:26,332 Why are you so nude? 935 01:24:26,332 --> 01:24:28,332 It's Nude Tuesday. 936 01:24:30,457 --> 01:24:33,624 Well where are they? I need to speak to Laura! 937 01:24:33,624 --> 01:24:36,874 The coach is about to leave for Mount Bartell. 938 01:24:37,374 --> 01:24:38,082 Okay. 939 01:24:38,083 --> 01:24:39,458 Thanks. 940 01:25:02,916 --> 01:25:05,874 Margaret, the coach has gone. 941 01:25:05,874 --> 01:25:07,874 Could you possibly drive me? 942 01:25:08,250 --> 01:25:09,832 If you make love to me. 943 01:25:09,832 --> 01:25:11,666 Margaret, please!. 944 01:25:16,916 --> 01:25:18,249 Oh God. 945 01:25:18,250 --> 01:25:19,791 Okay. 946 01:25:20,290 --> 01:25:22,832 You can get your kit off. 947 01:25:22,832 --> 01:25:24,332 Okay. 948 01:25:26,874 --> 01:25:28,458 Sexy boots 949 01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:31,457 and a hat. 950 01:25:47,332 --> 01:25:51,290 Might you consider going just a smidge faster Louis? 951 01:25:51,290 --> 01:25:54,332 I don't have my licence Bruno 952 01:25:54,332 --> 01:25:56,707 and I've just had some ketamine 953 01:25:56,707 --> 01:25:58,999 so strap in. 954 01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:31,833 You'll need to take your clothes off. 955 01:26:32,166 --> 01:26:32,999 Why? 956 01:26:33,832 --> 01:26:35,499 So the wind can buffet our bodies. 957 01:26:35,499 --> 01:26:37,499 I'm not going on your paedophile hike. 958 01:26:37,499 --> 01:26:38,541 Sickos. 959 01:26:39,250 --> 01:26:40,666 I'm calling the police. 960 01:26:51,208 --> 01:26:53,416 Herald the Goddess Mambutite. 961 01:26:56,958 --> 01:26:58,166 Hear her cries? 962 01:27:02,290 --> 01:27:05,124 Let us ascend our wild mistress. 963 01:27:33,916 --> 01:27:36,249 Finnius can you feel Mambutite? 964 01:27:37,749 --> 01:27:39,332 Okay? Of course I am. 965 01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:41,499 Bruno not coming? 966 01:27:41,499 --> 01:27:43,916 Oh no, we're not together anymore. 967 01:28:13,666 --> 01:28:15,290 Where is everyone? 968 01:28:15,290 --> 01:28:17,290 Gone thank God. 969 01:28:18,582 --> 01:28:19,624 How far is it? 970 01:28:19,624 --> 01:28:20,791 Dunno. 971 01:28:22,125 --> 01:28:23,499 See you later Louis! 972 01:28:23,499 --> 01:28:25,082 Shine on crazy diamond! 973 01:28:38,666 --> 01:28:42,166 Mambutite! 974 01:28:42,166 --> 01:28:45,541 Tear open our hearts... 975 01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:49,291 so we may receive... 976 01:28:49,874 --> 01:28:51,582 ...so we may receive... 977 01:28:51,582 --> 01:28:52,999 ...your sacred healing. 978 01:28:53,582 --> 01:28:55,166 ...your sacred healing. 979 01:28:57,499 --> 01:28:59,207 In your icy womb... 980 01:29:00,166 --> 01:29:01,666 In your icy womb... 981 01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:05,500 ..bestow your deepest truths. 982 01:29:06,707 --> 01:29:08,082 I'm terrified. 983 01:29:09,125 --> 01:29:11,125 I've got vodka. 984 01:29:15,707 --> 01:29:17,666 Here on the brink 985 01:29:17,666 --> 01:29:19,832 of our collective soul journey, 986 01:29:19,832 --> 01:29:23,624 ready to enter and submit, 987 01:29:23,624 --> 01:29:27,416 our entire bodies, 988 01:29:27,416 --> 01:29:31,499 eager to be truly reborn 989 01:29:31,499 --> 01:29:33,291 as I have, 990 01:29:33,374 --> 01:29:35,249 already done. 991 01:29:35,707 --> 01:29:36,832 So be brave. 992 01:29:37,374 --> 01:29:40,582 Don't be frightened of the ice pool. 993 01:29:45,874 --> 01:29:48,083 Finnius, you go first please. 994 01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:51,416 I'm afraid I've had another IBS flare up. 995 01:29:56,125 --> 01:29:57,291 Finnius. 996 01:29:58,083 --> 01:30:01,250 I thought we discussed this. 997 01:30:01,624 --> 01:30:03,416 But my tummy's really bubbly. 998 01:30:03,416 --> 01:30:04,957 So fart. 999 01:30:04,958 --> 01:30:07,166 - But I... - Fart it. 1000 01:30:07,958 --> 01:30:10,291 You're bullying me again. 1001 01:30:11,582 --> 01:30:12,957 You disgust me. 1002 01:30:13,958 --> 01:30:17,083 Julie, lioness, ready for the ice pool? 1003 01:30:17,582 --> 01:30:18,957 No thanks. 1004 01:30:21,749 --> 01:30:22,624 Laura! 1005 01:30:23,832 --> 01:30:24,916 Bruno! 1006 01:30:26,582 --> 01:30:28,416 You're fucking LATE! 1007 01:30:28,416 --> 01:30:29,499 Thanks for that. 1008 01:30:29,499 --> 01:30:31,374 The rude toddler. 1009 01:30:31,374 --> 01:30:33,166 Laura? 1010 01:30:33,374 --> 01:30:35,166 You feel like a dip? 1011 01:30:36,083 --> 01:30:38,625 You've always been a willing participant. 1012 01:30:42,125 --> 01:30:47,541 I'm sure we're all happy to learn from a true leader 1013 01:30:47,541 --> 01:30:50,499 so if that person is you, jump in Bjorg. 1014 01:30:56,041 --> 01:30:57,332 Yeah. 1015 01:30:57,332 --> 01:30:58,415 I'm cool with that. 1016 01:31:12,083 --> 01:31:13,541 Judas Julie. 1017 01:31:38,624 --> 01:31:40,874 It's good. 1018 01:31:40,874 --> 01:31:44,041 I'm already baptised so don't need to go under. 1019 01:31:45,874 --> 01:31:49,874 And my penis actually gets bigger in the Ice Pool. 1020 01:31:52,749 --> 01:31:56,082 All of you should be IN THE ICE POOL! 1021 01:31:59,250 --> 01:32:04,208 YOU WILL ALL FAIL IF YOU DON'T GET IN MY ICE POOL 1022 01:32:27,208 --> 01:32:29,791 Oh that's good, really quite warm. 1023 01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:37,500 There we are. 1024 01:32:38,582 --> 01:32:40,082 Judas Julie. 1025 01:32:41,916 --> 01:32:43,041 Finnius. 1026 01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:51,125 Wondering why your lives haven't worked out? 1027 01:32:51,290 --> 01:32:53,249 Because you're lazy pussies! 1028 01:32:55,958 --> 01:32:57,624 Shall we just do an icy sprinkle? 1029 01:32:57,624 --> 01:32:59,457 Yeah that should do it. 1030 01:33:14,707 --> 01:33:16,791 Fuck this, let's go get coffee. 1031 01:33:17,416 --> 01:33:20,332 I want a big, naughty hot chocolate. 1032 01:33:23,374 --> 01:33:25,291 Quick, in case he comes back. 1033 01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:46,083 Everyone looks so beautiful. 1034 01:33:53,250 --> 01:33:54,875 I read your note. 1035 01:33:57,125 --> 01:33:58,958 I was hoping you would. 1036 01:34:01,416 --> 01:34:03,166 It was beautiful. 1037 01:34:05,374 --> 01:34:06,916 Thank you. 1038 01:34:09,666 --> 01:34:12,749 I'm so pleased we want the same thing Bruno. 1039 01:34:13,707 --> 01:34:17,582 Like Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, 1040 01:34:19,083 --> 01:34:22,375 we can consciously uncouple. 1041 01:34:24,166 --> 01:34:24,416 Yesa 1042 01:34:27,499 --> 01:34:32,457 I'm wondering if maybe I have feelings for Rufus... 1043 01:34:34,624 --> 01:34:37,624 I guess I've got a lot to unscramble. 1044 01:34:39,457 --> 01:34:40,540 Yes. 1045 01:34:41,791 --> 01:34:44,624 Shall we go have a coffee with our new friends? 1046 01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:05,458 By watching this film legally you have supported thousands of jobs of creatives, distributors and crew as listed below 1047 01:37:06,416 --> 01:37:06,666 Line Producer ROSIE SMITH First Assistant Director SEUMAS COONEY Prep Production Manager DANIELLE WHITE 1048 01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:28,500 Special Effects JASON DUREY Special Effects Equipment FILM EFFECTS Sign Supplies OSBOURNE SIGNS 1049 01:38:12,000 --> 01:38:13,125 MUSICAL SCORE FEATURING ROOMFUL OF TEETH 1050 01:38:15,707 --> 01:38:15,957 "WHAT WE BEGAN" Performed by Roomful of Teeth 1051 01:38:17,250 --> 01:38:17,500 Performed by Koomful of Teeth Written/Composed by Wally Gunn Published by Shock Music Publishing Pty Ltd 1052 01:38:17,707 --> 01:38:18,374 GIBBERISH SONGS 1053 01:38:28,250 --> 01:38:29,000 SOURCE MUSIC 1054 01:38:32,000 --> 01:38:32,250 "PRAYER HANDS" Written by Joshua Young, Alain Macklovitch and Astarius Miraculii Reiki Published by Native Tongue Music Publishing Pty Ltd obo Ultra Tunes. 1055 01:38:33,457 --> 01:38:33,707 Published by Trizzy Tunes, Inc. Administered by Kobalt Music Publishing Australia Pty Ltd Performed by A-trak and Yehme2 1056 01:38:33,832 --> 01:38:34,000 Administered by Kobalt Music Publishing Australia Pty Ltd Performed by A-trak and Yehme2 1057 01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:34,250 ----------- Performed by A-trak and Yehme2 1058 01:38:34,250 --> 01:38:34,500 Production Music Coordinator / Music Clearances OTIS RACHTMAN AND JENNA ACKERMAN 1059 01:38:34,541 --> 01:38:35,124 uction Music Coordinator / Music Clearances OTIS RACHTMAN AND JENNA ACKERMA FOR MIND YOUR MUSIC 1060 01:38:36,125 --> 01:38:36,375 SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON MIND YOUR MUSIC SPANISH DANCERS FOOTAGE SUPPLIED BY BRITISH PATHÉ 1061 01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:37,250 SPANISH DANCERS FOOTAGE SUPPLIED BY BRITISH PATHÉ 1062 01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:42,250 EXTRAS 1063 01:38:42,416 --> 01:38:42,666 EXTRAS GRACE GREANEY, SAMANTHA RATCLIFFE, ANDREA BANGERO, MIA PALAO, BEAU JOHNSTONE, CORALIE OWENS, 1064 01:38:42,707 --> 01:38:42,957 GRACE GREANEY, SAMANTHA RATCLIFFE, ANDREA BANGERO, MIA PALAO, BEAU JOHNSTONE, CORALIE OWENS, YUN LEE CLELAND, MARTIN FINKEL, LEROY JACK, CÉCILE JACQUIN, DEE PINOMI, SHANNON BARRINGTON, 1065 01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:43,250 GRACE GREANEY, SAMANTHA RATCLIFFE, ANDREA BANGERO, MIA PALAO, BEAU JOHNSTONE, CORALIE OWENS, YUN LEE CLELAND, MARTIN FINKEL, LEROY JACK, CÉCILE JACQUIN, DEE PINOMI, SHANNON BARRINGTON, ADAM BROWN, ROWAN JOHNSTON, YOSHIYUKI KAWAHARA, ANDREW LAING, WILLIAM MALPASS, FIONA MUNDAY, 1066 01:38:44,832 --> 01:38:45,082 BRONWYN AUSTIN, LIZ KRUSE, PAMELA KAVAL WILDING, DALLAS TIPAU, STUART TOMLINSON, ROSEMARY COSTER, DELILAH GOW, MAUREEN NGALU, BESS FAIRFAX, JAYSHANT KUMAR, JANA CACHOLA, ABIGAIL LEE, RICH CLARKE, JOSHUA HARRIS, KATHLEEN GREER, EMMA MCSHANE, WILLIAM HAWSWORTH, SARAY TORRES DE RIDDELL, GINA COLEMAN 1067 01:38:45,125 --> 01:38:45,375 DELILAH GOW, MAUREEN NGALU, BESS FAIRFAX, JAYSHANT KUMAR, JANA CACHOLA, ABIGAIL LEE, RICH CLARKE, JOSHUA HARRIS, KATHLEEN GREER, EMMA MCSHANE, WILLIAM HAWSWORTH, SARAY TORRES DE RIDDELL, GINA COLEMAN 1068 01:38:45,707 --> 01:38:45,957 SPECIAL THANKS TO ANNABELLE SHEEHAN, AARON KOTLER, KYLE SAULINER, JUDITH WESTON, TAIKA WAITITI, TOM EAGLES, 1069 01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:46,250 SPECIAL THANKS TO ANNABELLE SHEEHAN, AARON KOTLER, KYLE SAULINER, JUDITH WESTON, TAIKA WAITITI, TOM EAGLES, ALESIA WESTON, MICHAEL GOLDENBERG, CUTLET, GAVIN WALLACE, YVETTE REID, AMY CASSIDY, CASS CASSIDY, 1070 01:38:51,000 --> 01:38:51,250 LEON WOODS, DAVINA WOODS, ERIK ANDERSON, ERIN LALLY, ANNA LEDWICH BACK COUNTRY HELICOPTERS, GOODGERS HOUSE, THE WONDERLAND STAFF AND THE COMMUNITY OF MAKARORA! 1071 01:38:51,416 --> 01:38:51,749 BACK COUNTRY HELICOPTERS, GOODGERS HOUSE, THE WONDERLAND STAFF AND THE COMMUNITY OF MAKARORA! 1072 01:38:52,125 --> 01:38:52,250 NEW ZEALAND FILM COMMISSION CEO DAVID STRONG 1073 01:38:52,250 --> 01:38:52,500 NEW ZEALAND FILM COMMISSION CEO DAVID STRONG COO MLADEN IVANCIC 1074 01:38:55,707 --> 01:38:55,957 SCREEN AUSTRALIA 1075 01:38:56,000 --> 01:38:56,250 SCREEN AUSTRALIA CEO GRAEME MASON 1076 01:38:58,707 --> 01:38:58,999 Thank you to Shana Levine and Donna Chang 1077 01:38:59,125 --> 01:38:59,375 FILM VICTORIA 1078 01:39:01,125 --> 01:39:01,375 NEW ZEALAND/AUSTRALASIAN DISTRIBUTION BY MADMAN ENTERTAINMENT 1079 01:39:01,541 --> 01:39:01,832 NEW ZEALAND/AUSTRALASIAN DISTRIBUTION BY MADMAN ENTERTAINMENT CEO PAUL WIEGARD 1080 01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:02,250 NEW ZEALAND/AUSTRALASIAN DISTRIBUTION BY MADMAN ENTERTAINMENT CEO PAUL WIEGARD Marketing Manager - Australia LEE-ANN WOON 1081 01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:02,500 NEW ZEALAND/AUSTRALASIAN DISTRIBUTION BY MADMAN ENTERTAINMENT CEO PAUL WIEGARD Marketing Manager - Australia LEE-ANN WOON Marketing Manager - New Zealand ANDREW COZENS 1082 01:39:04,250 --> 01:39:04,500 INTERNATIONAL SALES BY CORNERSTONE 1083 01:39:04,707 --> 01:39:04,832 INTERNATIONAL SALES BY CORNERSTONE Director of International Sales CARLA QUARTO DI PALO 1084 01:39:04,832 --> 01:39:05,082 INTERNATIONAL SALES BY CORNERSTONE Director of International Sales CARLA QUARTO DI PALO ctor of Marketing and Distribution JOANNE MICHAEL 1085 01:39:11,541 --> 01:39:11,832 The Filmmakers would like to thank our wonderful cast and crew and their families 1086 01:39:12,125 --> 01:39:12,375 The Filmmakers would like to thank our wonderful cast and crew and their families JON, CARMEN, AND IRIS RAY BAXTER AND KEITH AND CHRISTINE BALLANTYNE 1087 01:39:13,000 --> 01:39:13,250 JON, CARMEN, AND IRIS RAY BAXTER AND KEITH AND CHRISTINE BALLANTYNE JESSE GRIFFIN, JUNE, EMMETT AND CASSIE VAN GRIFFIN SPOTTY, GRACE, LEVI, GEORGE KATIE, FRED AND GEORGE BATZIAS, DUNCAN, DAVIDA AND SARAH WHITWELL 1088 01:39:13,541 --> 01:39:13,791 JESSE GRIFFIN, JUNE, EMMETT AND CASSIE VAN GRIFFIN SPOTTY, GRACE, LEVI, GEORGE KATIE, FRED AND GEORGE BATZIAS, DUNCAN, DAVIDA AND SARAH WHITWELL 1089 01:39:14,541 --> 01:39:14,874 Filmed on location in Auckland and Makarora New Zealand WONDERLAND MAKARORA LODGE 1090 01:39:15,125 --> 01:39:15,375 WONDERLAND MAKARORA LODGE 1091 01:39:15,416 --> 01:39:15,666 Development assistance from the New Zealand Film Commission 1092 01:39:16,041 --> 01:39:16,541 Development assistance from the New Zealand Film Commission Developed with support from Script to Screen 1093 01:39:16,832 --> 01:39:17,082 Developed with support from Script to Screen 1094 01:39:17,707 --> 01:39:18,082 The filmmakers acknowledge the assistance of the New Zealand Government's Screen Production Grant 1095 01:39:18,416 --> 01:39:18,457 The filmmakers acknowledge the assistance of the New Zealand Government's Screen Production Grant This film was completed with the assistance of the New Zealand Government's Screen Production Recovery Fund 1096 01:39:18,457 --> 01:39:18,707 The filmmakers acknowledge the assistance of the New Zealand Government's Screen Production Grant 1097 01:39:20,250 --> 01:39:20,500 No animals were harmed in the making of this film The events and characters depicted in this motion picture are fictitious Similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is coincidental 1098 01:39:20,832 --> 01:39:21,082 The events and characters depicted in this motion picture are fictitious Similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is coincidental 1099 01:39:21,250 --> 01:39:21,500 ISAN INTERNATIONAL STANDARD 1100 01:39:21,541 --> 01:39:22,541 ISAN 0000-0005-FFF5-0000-E-0000-0000-W 1101 01:39:22,749 --> 01:39:22,916 CORNED 1102 01:39:22,916 --> 01:39:23,249 CORNER 1103 01:39:23,541 --> 01:39:23,707 CORNER ATAUR 1104 01:39:23,707 --> 01:39:24,124 CORNER STONE 1105 01:39:24,125 --> 01:39:24,250 GURNER STONE 1106 01:39:24,250 --> 01:39:24,583 STONE 70598

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