All language subtitles for Night Court s04e13 Baby Talk

Hey, guys.

Just another couple hours and we got
ourselves a brand new spanking year.

Ladies and gentlemen, up with people.

I'm sorry, sir. We don't mean to seem
like a bunch of... Morbid, gloomy

cankersaws.

I was going to say gloomy gussies.

I know.

I know it's tough working tonight, but
think about what this really means to

you. Tippy -toeing around that festive
vomit?

We're keeping this city open. And it is
for people like this that we are doing

it. So let's not begrudge them. Let's
try to recognize them as the wonderfully

important human beings that they are.
Let's try to make this their best New

Year's ever.

The insert.

Ready to put 1986 in the books, sir? You
betcha! The sooner we get started, the

sooner we can party!

I do so enjoy this time of the year.

You and all the rest of the... party

animals.

Excuse me, folks. The people behind you
can't see.

Disturbing the peace?

Boy, it makes you want to run right out
and have one, doesn't it?

The people versus 1987, sir.

Excuse me, mister.

He had his name legally changed to 1987,
sir.

You can call me 19.

Well, the law precludes me from
addressing you by your first digit.

Mr. 87.

I plan on doing a lot better with my
year than that guy 1986 did with his. I

mean, come on. Chernobyl?

Reykjavik? Al Capone's vault?

Exactly. So you really think you're
going to be responsible for everything

happens next year?

I'm going to make ABC the number one
network again.

for psychiatric.

Come on, let's go.

What's next, Mac?

Uh, next case, sir.

Walter Jacob Wise.

Mac, remember pants.

The charge is indecent exposure.

Your Honor, my client was merely walking
down the street when a sudden gust of

wind blew his nightie up over his head
unexpectedly.

It was a freak of nature.

Oh, I don't know. Sure got a lot of
compliments afterwards.

Mr. Wise, what were you doing out there
dressed like this?

It has to do with my anniversary.

Your wedding anniversary?

Yeah, 42 years ago tonight.

I fell in love in Times Square.

Must have cost about a buck fifty back
then, huh?

It was New Year's Eve, 1944.

The war in Europe was finally turning
our way. People were in the mood to

about celebrating again. And it was in
the middle of all that that I met my

Gertie.

Beautiful name.

Her tugboat.

In our 40 years of marriage, we always
look back on that as a... Oh, wonderful,

magical moment.

It's a memory I've held dear every
single day.

Since I lost her two years ago.

Excuse me, Arthur.

Perhaps Mr. Wise would be more
comfortable in the privacy of my

Any objections?

Only a man who would drown a sack of
kittens would object.

All right, go ahead.

Roz, Miss Sullivan, would you escort Mr.
Wise to my office?

Folks, we're going to take five.

1987 escape.

My, where has the year gone?

Well, Bull, why don't you round up the
other bailiff, see if you can find him.

I'll be back.

Where would you be if you were wearing a
diaper?

At home, entertaining a few close
friends.

Oh, we were just madly in love.

But my unit was shipping out to Europe
in two weeks.

You have to remember, this is 40 years
ago.

I mean, people weren't as liberated then
about certain matters.

So you didn't... Of course we did.

We just felt guilty about it for an
hour.

Well, I see everybody's feeling better.

Walt was just telling us about the night
he met Gertie. Yeah, Gertie and I

greeted the new year by dancing the
night away.

Lombardo. Good...

The Meltones.

The Meltones?

As in Mel Torme and the Meltones?

You are about to be kissed on the lip by
a judge.

Whatever happened to a slap on the
wrist?

Well, I still do not understand what you
were doing out there in 30 -degree

weather in nothing but your pajama top.

Freezing my bejubies off.

If you must know, Your Honor, I walked
out of a hospital.

I see. Which one?

I'd rather not say.

You see, if I tell you, they'll send me
back.

Your Honor, maybe if I could speak with
him privately. No, I'm sorry, Miss

Sullivan. I won't tell you either.

Hey, did I mention you have the
loveliest cheekbones?

Walt, you have got to understand the
serious... Do I really?

Oh, Brooke.

I want to check out a couple of the
hospitals and nursing homes in the area.

There might be some very worried people
out there looking for him.

Yeah.

Some warrants for you to sign, sir.

Okey -doke.

I looked everywhere for 1987, sir.

No luck.

You looked everywhere?

Yes, sir.

How about up on the roof?

Checked it.

He just disappeared into thin air.

Nobody can do that.

Mind your own business.

Okay.

I embarrassed my species again, didn't
I?

May I help you?

I'm Lieutenant Gerard. I'm looking for
somebody.

Well, you're out of luck. Everybody
here's got two arms.

Huh? Well, you know, Lieutenant Gerard,
Dr.

Richard Kimball chasing the one -armed
man.

The Fugitive, big TV show.

I don't watch TV.

Not enough violence.

Hey, Mac, listen, I want you to call...
Hey, Judge Stone, as advertised, who are

you? Lieutenant Gerard.

Came looking for the one -armed man, did
you?

Trust me, sir, it ain't going nowhere.

I'm with the New Jersey Bureau of
Prisons.

Well, gee, you don't look too happy. And
you don't look old enough to shave.

Matt, go get my razor.

It has a little double on it that might
amuse the gentleman.

Yeah, well, save it. I got bigger fish
to fry.

Got a warrant here.

Pick up an escaped felon.

Walter Wise.

Walter Wise?

Tall guy, silver goatee, cute little
knees.

That slime cake escaped from the prison
hospital last night in a cadaver bag.

And I'd be lucky if I don't take him
back in one.

That doesn't make sense.

Tell me about it.

A doofus rabbit's with short time and a
back nine.

Go figure.

Yeah, go figure.

Sorry, Lieutenant, I don't speak
gumshoe.

I said he escaped for only two months
until his parole.

Mr. White? No. No way. Can't be. Must be
a mistake.

Uh -huh.

Well, you and Barney Fife can stand
around here oohing and aahing all day

after I get my delivery.

Should I go get him, or do you want me
to stay here with Mr. Sunshine?

I'll get him.

Hey. Did you hear the one about the left
foot break dancer?

And one, and a two, and a one, two,
three. There, you got it. I know I got

just want to use it more often.

You know, when I first danced with
Gertie, I was wearing my navy dress

Oh, Miss Sullivan.

And a pause, and a dip.

Excuse me, you're in conference.

Walt here was just telling us about the
uniform he was wearing when he met his

wife. Really?

Was it as nice as your prison uniform?

Hey, did I mention I'm an escaped felon?

No, you kind of left that part out,
Walt.

Felon? What about the hospital?

It's a prison hospital.

I said they'd send me back, remember?

I never lied to you.

Please,

please, Your Honor, don't be upset.

It is very important for me to get the
Times Square tonight.

You could have gone next year. Your
parole is in two months.

Two months?

Would it kill you to have waited two
months?

As a matter of fact, yes.

You see, I'm... I'm dying.

He is gonna die?

Hey, we're all gonna die.

Some of it's just sooner than later.

We're pulling for you, Gerard.

How long does Mr.

Wise have to live?

Hey, what am I, his doctor?

All I know is an escape con, I gotta
take him back.

Roz, self -image is everything.

Show men a little tenderness, a sense of
humor.

You'll see the difference.

I'll try.

But I'm gonna miss slapping him around.

Hello, Gerard.

What? No hug? And I even brought you
delightful parting gifts.

Matching bracelets.

Are handcuffs really necessary?

Hey, lady, we're dealing with a criminal
here. What exactly did he do?

The lowest, most despicable of offenses
against society.

You mean... I was a car salesman.

He was a car salesman until he decided
to branch out into grand theft auto.

Is that true, Mr. Wise?

It's true, Your Honor.

I... I went through a pretty hard time
after Gertie died.

I thought I was okay until I went back
to work after the funeral.

I guess I snapped. I sold every car on
the lot before any of the other salesmen

came in.

Walt, many people express their grief
differently. Some men might weep when

you've sold cars.

For a dollar each.

Lieutenant Gerard, I'm wondering that in
view of Mr.

Wise's special circumstance in the
holiday season, maybe you could stretch

rules a little bit and take him back to
jail by way of Times Square?

Oh, sure, we could stop off at the
Waldorf, too, and catch the champagne

dance.

Well, I can't speak for Walt on that
one, but... This guy, this guy ain't

nowhere except back to his cell.

Gerard, evidently you're forgetting that
you're in my court.

So?

Then you didn't forget, huh?

No, and I also didn't forget that
failure to comply with a legal warrant

some heavy dues, Judge.

Then you leave me no choice.

He's yours.

Sir.

After, we've gone back into session and
disposed of his case. Say, ten minutes.

Okay, that's fine.

I'll call in, let him know we're coming.

The sooner we get these animals back in
the cage, the better.

Oh, by the way, Happy New Year.

Say what you will, he's got a sense of
humor.

Oh, sir, that was brilliant. You bought
just enough time to pull one of your

incredible saves. So tell us, what's
your plan?

Step one, to go someplace quiet and
think up step two.

No wonder he's the judge. I didn't even
have a plan.

Your high school couldn't afford a
tackling dummy, could they?

So the gorilla says, hey, if I could
sing, do you think I'd be hanging around

here?

Hey, gang.

Where's Thunk?

Oh, Your Honor, are you sure you've
tried everything?

I'm a judge, damn it, not a magician.

Well, not primarily a magician.

Walt, I'm sorry. I did my best.

It's all right, Your Honor. I
understand.

All right, people, settle down.

I just went to the bathroom.

I'm not changing him.

Some nutcase stole my suit.

How? Aren't you armed?

He snuck up behind me and...

Held a safety pin to my throat.

Then what's holding up your diapers?

Willpower!

Now, would it be too much trouble for
you to get me some clothes?

Have a little rash, do we?

Enough is enough.

I want some clothes.

I want me a prisoner.

And I want out of here.

Now!

You simmer down, Gerard, and we'll get
you some clothes.

Walt, I'm sorry. I am going to have to
transfer you. Mac, would you make sure

everything's in order?

Sir, should I get Baby Huey here to send
me a copy of the warrant?

What's that? The warrant, sir. Should I
get him to send me a copy?

You don't have the warrant?

It's in my other suit.

Well, then that would mean that he also
got the I .D.

that proves who you are.

Oh. Oh, sir, I'm starting to like this.

Well, well, well, Lieutenant Gerard, if
that is your real name.

Hey! Hey, what are you doing?

You can send this down to his
headquarters for verification.

I'm not sending that anywhere.

You don't suppose he's afraid of an I
.D. check, do you?

Think he has a record?

They never did close that Jimmy Hoffa
thing.

Crazy? Crazy. That's another possibility
altogether.

Crazy. Did he look crazy to you, Matt?

Mad as a hatter, sir. Rob, does a bear
take a reader's digest in the woods?

All right.

You win.

I'll take him to Times Square.

Hey, why don't we photograph him in a
compromising position with my cat?

Miss Sullivan, it's all over.

I knew that.

Why don't you just get me some clothes
so I can get this over with?

Fine, Gerard, but I don't think I can
trust you. Bull, would you escort the

lieutenant here, make sure he doesn't
get lost on his way to Times Square?

Certainly, sir.

Stop by the prison sometime, Judge.

I'd love to. Drop me in a hole with a
psycho killer for about an hour?

Is Thursday good for you?

Fine.

Wonderful. This was marvelous.

Hey, this was great. This, this was...
This...

This is goodbye, then.

We're gonna miss you all.

Hey, Matt.

Don't you and Quan Lee worry too much
about money problems.

Now, it's true. If you got love...

He got everything.

Except, of course, credit.

I'll remember that.

Hello? Mr. Wise, if there's anything I
can do, if the doctors decide you need

something donated, like an organ... I'm
afraid you don't have anything that

would fit.

But... Thank you.

Thanks, anyway.

Ross, I expect a letter.

I want to hear how it's going with the
men, huh?

Okay, well... And remember what I said.

The most important thing is to be
yourself.

So an occasional body slam won't hurt.

Deal.

You take care.

Christine.

Walt.

Now, you listen to me. I think it's
entirely possible that those doctors are

wrong and you can be treated.

From what I know about you, I think you
can beat that.

Maybe you're right.

I bet she knows the words to every Mary
Poppins song.

She's got them tattooed on her arm.

I'll remember you, Walt.

We all will.

Hey, Bull.

Come on. I got a date to keep.

Hey, Walt.

You know, maybe Christine's right.

Anything's possible.

I'll say hello to Guy Lombardo for you.

The crowd here at Times Square is
getting excited with only a minute to go

midnight. Who wants to join me in a
toast?

Oh, yes, the traditional magnum of
Bosco.

I sure hope Walt made it to Times
Square.

Isn't that him standing next to that
lamppost?

Hey, that's not a lamppost, that's Bull.

By my watch, we got 30 seconds. No, no,
look. On top of that building, it's Mr.

1987.

Now we can see what the commotion is. A
man is hanging on the big red ball as it

makes its descent.

He looks goofy in Lieutenant Gerard's
suit.

Well, not anymore.

He's stripping.

And he didn't find a new diaper.

Boy, these new sets sure bring out the
flesh tones, don't they?

Just so the evening's not a complete
waste, how about giving Danny Boy the

traditional New Year's kiss, huh?

Okay, but just this once.