All language subtitles for Night Court s04e08 Contempt of Courting

Last week on my court.

Billy, I'm quite all right. I don't need
this ridiculous operation.

What are you going to say when your
ulcer perforates and you start

I want you.

I want you now.

Jill, this is my life. We're talking
about my life. Are you so driven by

pathological need that you would put it
at risk just to satisfy your tawdry

kick?

Should I stop?

No!

Surprise!

I'm afraid Mr.

Fielding is in a coma.

He's in a coma?

Poor Dan.

I feel awful.

You put up a brave front.

I don't understand.

Dan was fine yesterday. What happened?

Mr. Fielding participated in an overly
stress -inducing activity.

What kind of activity could he have
participated in? He's in bed.

Right.

Just leave your numbers with the duty
nurse. We'll call you if there's any

change in his condition.

What if his condition never changes?

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

Dan's going to be fine. I mean, he's
just getting a little rest, that's all.

Mac's right.

There's a good chance that Dan knows
we're here, so it's our job to let him

that everything's going to be just fine.

Is he done yet?

Boy, things are sure different around
here without Dan.

Yep. No groveling, no leering, no
whining.

Only sensitive remarks or sleazy,
disgusting sexual references.

Boy, you don't know what you got till
it's gone.

Next case, sir. People versus Pettit.

She's a dancer at a topless bar.

Mac. Yes, sir.

This one's for Dad.

Lude conduct charge, Your Honor.

Miss Pettit was apprehended while
performing at the... Flesh Nosh.

Your Honor, while my client does plead
guilty, I can't help but wonder what the

officer had in mind when he singled out
Miss Pettit for arrest.

A good bust!

it that way let's make it a fifty dollar
fine in time

We'll take ten.

Boy, is it hard being at work knowing
Dan's in the hospital.

I just wish there was something we could
do.

All we can do is what we've been doing.
We just keep taking turns visiting him.

Say I'm off to the cafeteria. Can I get
anyone anything?

Coffee? Tea?

I hear they have a nice fruit cup today.

No.

Nothing it is.

Till later then.

Let's kill him.

Who's taking the first shift with Dan
tonight?

Me, but I don't know what good it does
just sitting there with him. You know,

maybe we should try talking to him.

Say what?

No, really, I read somewhere that by
talking to comatose patients is

helpful. What do you say to a man who's
lying limp in bed?

Last night was fun, now get lost.

I chew.

Yo mastico. Yo mastico.

Repita.

You chew.

Tú masticas.

Tú masticas.

We chew.

Nosotros masticamos.

Masticamos.

Bull, why are you playing a Spanish
language tape?

Sleep learning.

I thought I could make productive use of
Dan's free time.

You'd be amazed how fast he's picking it
up.

A couple more days and it should be
completely ripe.

You know, even though I've had a lot of
problems with this guy, I sure hope he

pulls through. Oh, yeah, so do I.

You know, I'm feeling a little bad about
something I said to him last week.

Christine, with all due respect, it
can't be any worse than the things I've

said to him. Oh, yes, it could.

Oh, I doubt it. Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

Well, I told him he should die a slow
and lingering death.

You win.

Look,

I'll stay with Dan, you guys. Why don't
you take Bull down and get him something

to perk him up?

Come on. I'll get my jumper cables.

I don't know if you can hear me or not,
but it's really hard to see you like

this.

I'm just so used to you being so lively.

You're always leering and groping and
taking advantage of me.

Like the time you had your hands full
and you tricked me into fishing the key

out of your pocket.

Dan, I wish there was something I could
say to get through to you.

you dan i want you bad i i can't hold
back the passion that i'm feeling

dan dan let's just let's just give into
this and i'll crawl into this bed and

i'll make mad passionate loved you my
magnificent stallion i think you're

beating a dead horse lady

was just trying to stimulate him no no i
was trying to arouse your

honor would you please tell this man i'm
not a pervert how are we defining

pervert look folks pervert prude it's
not my job to

label people wait a minute

I thought you were going to take the
night off and get a little rest.

I couldn't sleep.

I kept thinking about what we said to
each other on that last night.

He's going to be all right, sir.

Yeah.

Look, why don't I get her some coffee?
It's going to be a long night.

Sure.

Dan, Dan, Dan.

You don't look too comfortable, buddy.

You know, you had that same look on your
face when that lady who owned the

hunting lodge took you away for the
weekend. You remember that?

She brought you back strapped down to
the hood of her car.

I gotta say something to you, Dan.

I haven't liked a lot of the things that
you've done.

Hell, I haven't liked any of the things
you've done.

But you've never, ever been... boring.

What I'm trying to say is... the place
ain't the same without you.

You gotta come out of this.

We miss you.

I miss you.

You big, dumb son of a...

the coffee.

No, thanks. Keeps me awake.

He'll wake him.

What the hell's taking so long?

Oh, I guess they have to run some
routine tests.

Check for what?

Oh, blood chemicals, reflexes, motor

response.

Do you want to see him before we bind
and gag him?

Yeah, visitors.

Before I go, I'd like to remind you, Mr.
Fielding, you came this close to death.

You should have pulled the plug when I
had a chance.

So, how's it been?

Great to have you back, Dan.

It sure is, Dan.

I need a nurse. What's the matter?

Nothing. That's why I need a nurse.

If I'm not mistaken, that's how your
problem got started, Dan.

Big jerk.

You almost killed yourself. Now, you
listen to me. No, you listen to me.

Este vestido es bonito.

Me lo puedo probar.

guys hovering around for? Don't you have
anything better to do on your

Saturdays?

It's Tuesday, Dan.

Tuesday? You've been unconscious for
three days.

Three... Tuesday? Oh, my God, I've got a
date with Mandy tonight.

Looks like you're gonna miss it.

What? Are you crazy?

She's a cheerleader for the Jets,
flaming batons, you know? I can hear the

going, call for it.

You are out of your mind.

Well, I... clothes.

I won't need them.

Dan, have you lost your memory, too?

It was a stunt like that that put you in
here.

When you fall off the horse, buddy, you
just got to get back in the stunt.

You didn't learn to sing, did you? Yes,
I did. Come over here. Grab this. I'll

show you.

I'll tell the ghoul with the gurney to
reserve a slab for you, okay?

Guys, would you mind if I had a couple
of minutes alone with Dan?

It's your life.

Dan,

those people have been worried sick
about

you. They're going to lecture me on
going back into a coma.

I don't want to lecture you, Dan. I want
to... Dan, I...

Oh, Phil, spit it out.

I didn't mean that literally.

I'm so happy that you're okay.

You know, Daniel, quite a debt to Phil.

What are you talking about?

You needed a transfusion, and none of us
matched your type, so... Oh,

no.

I'm coursing through your veins even as
we speak.

Beautiful, isn't it?

I am you.

You are me.

Yeah, now we both got hookworm.

I want you and your green furry teeth
out of here.

He's gonna be just fine.

I can feel the sterno pumping through my
veins.

Here, Dan.

Happy birthday.

A brown...

Harry, how did you know?

Actually, it's a pornographic chocolate
sculpting from one of those X -rated

bakeries.

Well, it's been in the trunk of my car
for three days.

What was it?

Well, you've been acting so childish
lately, I'm not sure I should tell you.

hate to be accused of contributing to
the delinquency of a minor.

Well, I'll just melt it down and make it
into whatever I want.

Tell me about it, Dan.

This near -death experience stuff, is it
all it's cracked up to be?

What? I took a little siesta.

Siesta? Dan, you risked your life for
cheap sex.

You say that as if it were a bad thing.

Why don't you grow up, Dan? You're 38
years old.

That's what you think.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm 40.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're gonna
say, 40 years old, no big deal.

You're 40 years old?

The big four are old?

You're 40? Hey, hey, hey, hey! You're
supposed to say, 40 years old, no big

deal!

Yeah, I lied about my age, okay?

Okay. But the way you're going, you're
not gonna see 50.

Good.

You say good?

Yeah. We're talking about death, right?

It's better than the alternative.

The alternative is living.

Right. To a ripe old age.

You're afraid to grow old, aren't you?

You seen those new TV dinners they got
out now?

They're great. Everything you need. You
pop them in the microwave for five

minutes, you can eat them right out of
the container, standing over your sink.

All by yourself.

You know, they even got turkey and all
the fixings for Thanksgiving.

I'm saving those burritos for Christmas.

I take it back.

You're not afraid to grow old. You're
afraid to grow old alone.

I will tell you something I do not want
to be. And that is one of those old,

pathetic, eccentric bachelors living in
some sleazy apartment all alone with a

dozen cats.

Jan, you can have more than that. All
right, two dozen cats.

Jan, your life doesn't have to be like
that. I don't have a life, Harry.

I have a lifestyle.

Do you know how many women I have slept
with? It doesn't matter how many women

you've slept with.

More than a hundred?

You know the slogan, under the golden
arches, over four billion, sir?

Let's just say I'm competitive.

And out of all of them, not one of them
ever said,

I love you.

Dad!

Okay, so you haven't found the right
person, so you keep looking.

Harry, I've dated the state.

Well, then maybe you should move down
the eastern seaboard a bit.

Get it, do you? Listen to me.

No one is ever going to love me. No one
is ever going to say, I love you. You

know why? Because in order to be loved,
one must be able to give.

And I can't give.

I cannot. I have never been able to
give.

And I don't know why.

Maybe it's because I'm a bastard.

Might be a wincy bit harsh.

But you're right.

You're also arrogant and self
-indulgent.

You're right.

Vain and greedy and rotten. Hey, hey, I
said you're right.

But the whole truth is, you're also
kind.

You're compassionate.

You're caring.

And you give.

That's a lousy thing to say.

Dan Fielding, you're decent. Admit it. I
will not admit it.

Okay.

How about a time back?

When I quit my job, things were going
real bad for me then. My whole world was

falling apart, and you came to me. You
talked to me. You made sense.

You changed my life.

Now, how do you explain that?

I was sucking up.

I quit.

It was just a reflex.

How about when I heard my mom was dead?

You stayed with me all night to cheer me
up.

Yeah.

You made me eat that Chex mix with the
anchovies in it.

Dan Fielding has a lot of shortcomings.

But not being able to give, that's not
one of them.

I love you.

Hey, I don't even want to know this
time.

And I happen to know that there are
other people that love you.

Of course, there's a lot more that think
you're scum.

But those people don't count.

Except for maybe one.

Who's that?

Dan Fielding.

You take care of yourself, buddy.

Harry!

Yeah?

Please allow me.

There, I've said it.

Yeah, you have.

Now, why don't you try saying it to
yourself?

Hello, Sheila, it's Dan.

Sheila, shh.

Let me do the talking for a change,
please.

What you and I have had together has
been

sick.

Been two desperate, lonely, selfish
people just using each other.

For the first time in my life, I think I
deserve...

More.

And I just wanted to let you know that.

Yes.

I'm naked, too.