All language subtitles for Night Court s04e07 The New Judge

Court finds the defendant guilty of
solicitation for prostitution.

$50 fine.

Next case.

Let's go, Miss Kitty.

May I say that even though the able
Judge Stone is still on vacation, your

of sure, swift justice, along with
that...

haunting fragrance has

more than filled the void.

Is he always such a bootlicker?

Shine old is Dan's favorite flavor.

Our next case, people versus Father Luke
Murray.

Yes, Your Honor, this is a destruction
of public property charge. The police

were called to find Father Cool Hand
Luke here, severing the heads off of

parking meters in front of his parish
church.

I did it. I did it. I'm guilty. Forgive
me, please.

Depends. Right out the window after
that.

Those meters were forcing my elderly
parishioners to walk too far.

I guess I must have snapped.

Got a little hot under the collar, did
we?

Your Holiness.

A moment, please, Your Honor, to counsel
the good father on his plea.

Father, do you want to change your plea?

No. Then guilty it is. $25 .05 plus
repairs to the meter. Wait, no!

Please, not yet. You can't do that. Just
give me five more minutes. I'm sure I

can get through to him.

You've had your opportunity.

Your Honor, Judge Stone would give me
the chance.

So would your mommy.

But she's not here either.

Next case.

Right this way, Father.

What's next, Mr. Robinson? Excuse me,
Judge Gardner. I can't believe what I

saw here. You rushed my client through
like a bullet train.

Miss Sullivan, any more of this and I'll
fight you for contempt.

But he didn't have a prayer.

$50, none of the word about the case.

Your Honor, he was denied it. $100.

But he... $200. Your Honor, you... $300.

Sold, American.

Got kind of caught up in the spirit.

Let me warn you, Counselor.

Any more of this and the next step will
be jail.

Hey, Bull.

Hi, Your Honor. I thought you were on
vacation.

I just got back. What's new?

The cafeteria raised the price of donuts
and nickel.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

Time?

You got your nerve, you rancid piece of
mattress ticking.

Time?

You'll roast in the fires of hell before
you get the time of day from me.

Women in cages.

God, I love this job.

Are they treating you okay?

Under the circumstances.

Good.

Hungry for a man yet?

Dan. Listen, I know how needs can build
up over time.

Dan, I've only been in here a half an
hour.

Poor baby.

Hi, guys. Your Honor. Hi, Harry. Welcome
back.

Thought I'd drop by and see how the
other half lives.

Like galley slaves, sweaty and full of
fire.

Personally.

So, how was your vacation?

Oh, terrific.

I followed the route that Mel Torme took
with the Chico Marx band in the 42

tour.

From Chicago to L .A. in the footprints
of the velvet fog.

I stayed in the dingiest dives. I ate in
the greasiest spoons.

Of course, I was so excited I couldn't
keep anything down.

dream come true i'd love to hear about
it somehow if i ever get out of here

alive ah yeah i did notice that you've
moved since we spoke last believe that

judge i was just trying to get a little
more time with my client i was just

fighting for his rights and bam you were
nagging her weren't you i was just

fighting for my client's right to full
benefit of counsel i wanted him to have

the same chance yes i was nagging her
but i was nagging her with a purpose

well, even so, if I were you, I'd look
for the first opportunity to apologize.

Well, you are not me.

And Christine Sullivan will never
apologize to Queenie the quick -draw

-banger. Never, never, never!

Well, as long as you keep an open mind.

Miss Sullivan, a cockroach and a rat
walked up to a bar. Sir, I'm not in the

mood for jokes.

No, no, no. A cockroach and a rat just
walked up to that bar.

can't overrule her but but i could talk
to her you know judge to judge try to

explain things but don't you dare
apologize to her for me i wouldn't think

maybe i can catch before dinner break uh
excuse me you have the time time you

got your nerve you piece of dog meat
time you choke on your last breath

before i give you the time of day

mind if I join you?

You know, there's a maximum law that
states silence implies consent, which

explains my incredible success rate at
singles bars.

You know, Judge Gardner, I've worked in
many, many a courtroom with many, many a

judge, but I must say your sense of
jurisprudence, remarkable.

So, what are we having for lunch there,
huh?

I heard Judge Gardner might be here.
Yeah, she's over there, chewing her cud.

Hi.

I'm Harry Stone.

You like the tie, don't you? I don't
blame you.

This is my favorite. This one glows in
the dark and says, kiss me, you fool.

Bailiff?

Uh, no, I don't think you understand.
You see, I... Do you have this geek

removed?

Sure. Come on, Your Honor.

Your Honor.

Oh, my God, you're not Judge Harold
Stone.

Yes, the geek in question.

Thank you, bailiff. Yes, ma 'am.

Bull, would you really have thrown me
out?

We'll never know, will we?

I thought you weren't supposed to report
back to the bench until Monday.

Oh, I'm just here to check my mail and
come back down off Cloud 9.

I've spent the last ten days tracing the
musical legacy of Mel Torme.

Why?

Because he happens to be the greatest
talent this country has ever produced.

know that Mel Torme once held a note so
long that it shattered a glass with such

force that the shard penetrated human
flesh.

Ah, but I see you're eating.

Judge Gardner, I'm really here to ask
you if you'd talk to me about Christine

Sullivan. I'd rather not discuss her
case.

But I... I said I'd rather not discuss
the case.

Oh.

Okay, sorry to bother you.

Judge Stone.

I'm sorry to sound so cold. I'm a new
judge, and I just tend to be a bit

guarded. Well, no offense, but it
wouldn't hurt you to loosen up a little

just wanted to talk.

Fine.

Say.

Eight o 'clock?

My place?

For drinks.

And bring the tie.

Hi, guys.

Hi, sir. Judge?

Would you mind if I have a few moments
alone with Miss Sullivan?

I'm sure she can spare the time.

Cheer up. There's rumors of spam balls
for lunch.

When you said you'd be right back, I
assumed you meant the same day.

Yeah, well, I apologize for that. You
know how time flies when you're having

fun.

I think he lost me, sir.

I did notice that hint of mint.

So, did you see the judge?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, what did she say about my case?

Say, did you see that Wild Kingdom
special last night?

What did she say?

Well, actually, Eve and I never got
around to discussing your case.

Eve?

It's her first name.

It's a palindrome.

What? That's one of those words you can
spell backwards or forwards the same.

Huh? Huh. That's a good one. Huh.

I might as well be honest about this.

Eve and I, we had a sort of date, kind
of.

You and Eve had a sort of date?

Neither of us actually slept.

I want photos if you got them.

Dan. All right, okay, okay.

Just tell me one thing.

Is she... Strict?

Dan, you go ahead and you have your fun,
but I want this thing kept in

confidence. You got that?

No human will ever know.

I said, no human will ever know.

Guilty as charged, $90 in time served.

Next case.

Excuse me.

Aren't you the judge that... Yes, yes, I
did it.

I slept with her.

We made love in exciting ways.

Ask if you were the judge that spoke to
our church group last night.

Yeah, I did that, too.

Call the next case.

Christine Sullivan.

Held over on her contempt charge.

As is customary in these cases, I've
ordered you back to give you the

opportunity to apologize to this court.

Your Honor.

I just want to say that something I
believe in is far more important than my

comfort. And no matter what others may
do, I personally cannot bring myself to

compromise a principle.

So what you're saying then is that...
I'd sooner my body was covered with

weeping sores than apologize to you.

Your Honor, may I approach the bench as
a friend of the court?

Your Honor, I would like to see you
alone in my office. I bet you would.

Judge Stone, can this wait? I'm afraid
it can't. It has a direct bearing on

case.

All right. The court will take a short
recess.

Believe it or not, I'm doing this for
you.

Well, try not to call out my name. It's
considered bad form.

Pardon me, sir, but how long are you two
going to be adjudicating each other?

Cheap shot, Mac.

Thank you.

Looking for somebody?

I was going to surprise you with this
later, but you just couldn't wait, could

you? Well, actually, Eve, I didn't ask
you here for personal reasons.

Then why did you ask me here, thumper?

Talk?

Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not
polite to talk with your mouth full?

What did you want to say?

I forgot.

Did you bring it?

How did you get it back to the guards?

Would you first...

It feels slow when you're talking.

Let's forget my nasal passages, huh?

I want to talk to you about Miss
Sullivan.

She's got certain qualities that you
should be aware of.

She's boisterous, nagging, and
bullheaded.

You're aware of them.

But that's not the whole picture.

Now, the Miss Sullivan I know, she's...
Well, she's the type who still believes

you can change the world with a smile,
or a kind word, or trying to treat

someone with decency.

Common respect.

She probably does deserve to be locked
up.

Harry. Eve, Eve.

It is real important to me that you try
to understand Miss Sullivan the way I

do.

There was a time not long ago we had
this band of homeless vagrants in our

and Miss Sullivan, she took them to her
apartment.

Into her own apartment.

Now, what kind of person does things
like that?

A jerk?

Yeah, they robbed her blind.

But that just goes to show how deep her
compassion and her conviction runs.

You talk about flaring nostrils? When
that girl starts arguing, her little

suckers, they're flapping and flying all
over.

What are you going to do about it?

What am I going to do about what?

The crush you have on her.

Crush me on Miss Sullivan? No.

You do.

Oh, come on, Eve.

I saw it in your eyes.

Just now.

Well, that's probably some dried gunk.

Really, that's the silliest thing I ever
heard.

Is it?

Yeah. Come here.

Okay.

Think of her.

Okay. Now kiss me.

Oh, God. Oh, baby.

Oh, God.

No.

It's not possible.

I'm a judge. She's a lawyer. You're a
man. She's a woman. Okay, technically

possible.

You know, if I thought it would do any
good, I'd put up a fight, Harry.

But I know better.

I've seen that look before.

Harry,

you're quite a guy.

You're compassionate, you're charming,
and you're taken.

Miss Sullivan?

Well, if it isn't Judge Oliver Wendell
Hormone.

Excuse me, I have to go rinse out my
slender off.

This I gotta see.

Miss Sullivan, I want you... I want you
to know

that Eve and I are not seeing each other
anymore.

Oh, a spat over a constitutional
interpretation?

No.

In fact, she made me realize something,
and it's something that concerns you.

What, that I'm the only one showering
down here without a tattoo?

Is that pledged?

You said you would help me, and you
deserted me. I needed you, and you

about me.

Judge Gardner said you're free to go.

Your release paper should be down here
in an hour.

So I guess that makes two things I'm
pretty good at.

Excuse me, please.

Do you have the time?

How dare you ask me for the time!

Worms will be gnawing their way through
your eye sockets before I give you the

time of day!

We get them strange ones down here.

Woman troubles, eh?

May I?

An ancient legend tells of the man who
thought himself too strong and wise to

show his inner feelings.

So when he had a problem, he shielded
himself in a cloak until one day

he suffocated under the weight of his
dismay.

You know, you're right.

I can't keep this inside.

I have to talk to her.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I

got

something to say to you, and I have to
say it now, so please, please listen to

me.

It has recently come to my attention
that...

I have some feelings for you, and I'm
confused by them.

So I have to sort them out.

And for that, I'm going to need time.