Original subtitles

Yeah?

Sir? Come on in.

I brought you that motion for continuance to look at, sir.

I think I got something in my eye.

You see anything?

Pretty nauseating, huh?

Well, I love Halloween.

You ready for the party tonight?

My insurance has paid up, yes.

Hey, you didn't have a good time last year?

I believe the high point was when my appetizer bit me.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Matt, Miss Sullivan thinks that our Halloween parties are too grotesque.

Now, why would you say something like that?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Uh, have you two been introduced?

This is Petey.

And two, Matt.

I hope this thing is okay. They were fresh out of sucking chest wounds.

box contain what I think it does? Your implements of torture have arrived, sir.

Now, let's take a look. Oh, licorice whip.

Comedy meat cleaver.

What's that in the corner?

It's a goblin.

Oh, now, you see, why can't you get more things like that? It's cute and it's

cuddly and... Let's see Ken and Barbie try

that one.

to analysis.

Uh, sir, I confirm your refreshments for the night's festivities.

Yeah, finger sandwiches?

Oh, very realistic, Your Honor. I thought maybe we could hook them over

of the dip bowl.

Hello. Well, hello there, Mrs. Lund. How's everything up in juvenile

Well, it's just fine, Mr. Robinson.

Oh, this is my friend.

I've kind of gotten attached to him.

Don't mind Matt, Mrs. Lund. Something's been eating at him all day.

Want to come to our party tonight? I think I got a wound for you here. No,

no, please, please.

Your Honor, I have some news about Leon.

Leon? You found him?

He's back in Manhattan.

Where is he? What happened?

Apparently, he has been living on the street for the past six months since he

ran away.

He was caught stealing food from a grocery store.

He's in custody?

No, he escaped.

Amazingly enough, it seemed that he slipped out of his handcuffs as if by

Now, who do you suppose could have taught Leon a trick like that?

Well, he was eager to learn.

You know what they say, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Sir, any news on Leon?

Nothing.

Mac, I feel like I'm the reason Leon ran off in the first place. Sir, don't

torture yourself.

At least not so close to lunchtime.

Mac, this... You're so helpless.

Look, sir, look, don't worry about it.

Mrs. Lund said if Leon came to see anybody, it would probably be you.

He trusts you, sir. He'll come.

I hope you're right, Mac.

I'll be there in a minute.

Ready when you are, sir.

I think it would compromise our working relationship.

Vince. Good to see you, Mr.

Prosecutor. Apparently, I didn't know how good.

You're taking identity.

Quite an outfit.

We just had our office Halloween party. How was it?

What can I say?

I'm a party animal.

We're going to have a party in my office later. If you want to drop by, we'll

probably be able to scare up an acorn for you.

I can't. I'm having a party in my place.

That's right, I heard about that. Now, who mentioned that to me?

Oh, please!

Let me come to your party.

I remember now.

No, Dan.

I am begging you. Dan! Take my word for it, I'm on my knees! Dan, you are not

invited. You aren't going.

If you mention it again, I'm going to make your life a living purgatory.

Got that?

I said...

Got that.

Yeah.

We're on it.

How would you like to be put in a shoebox with no holes in the lid?

So you roll over and fetch, too? Hey!

Big deal, I wouldn't go to Daniel's stupid party now if he begged me.

Who's going to be there anyway?

The mayor.

That's what I heard, Dan.

The suck -up opportunity of the century, and he's going to make me miss it.

Dan, you can come to my party and suck up. I could slobber all over you any

time.

This is special.

I know, Danny, but you've got to be brave.

Come on, I want to see a big camper.

Yeah, sure, fine.

So he wants it. I still have some dignity left.

I'll offer him cash.

Can't that man take no for an answer?

That was a rhetorical question.

Your Honor, this is Miss Yankovic's fourth appearance here for prostitution

as many months.

It's been quite a summer.

wishes to throw herself in the mercy of the court.

Your Honor, decency and aesthetics demand the maximum.

Sir?

Over here, boy.

Sir? You okay?

Oh. Sorry, guys.

Guess I got stuff on my mind.

Intense longing?

Combined with subconscious guilt?

and feelings of paternal inadequacy.

That's just a guess.

Don't worry, Shirley. I'll come to see you. I just know it.

I wish I had your confidence, Miss Sullivan.

I wish I had her body.

That darn gravity, eh, Mary?

to come to a party later tonight.

We're going to play bobbing for birthmarks.

Thanks, but I never mix business with bobbing.

Conviction reports.

Oh! I dropped my piano music.

I couldn't play my piano without it, could I? What's that?

Yes, I do play, as a matter of fact.

You know, I'm in such great... Great demand, because there's nothing like a

piano to play to make any gathering a success.

No, Dan.

I do impressions, too.

Dan, get this straight.

I don't want you at my party. I don't want you in my apartment.

I don't want you in the same zip code.

I detest you.

My fondest wish is to see you writhing in the dirt as you die from a gut wound.

Good job on those files.

I hate your little suit.

Sir.

Sir. The wide world of guts just delivered the rest of your party favors.

Don't you want to look at them, sir?

No, my heart isn't in it.

Oh, yes, it is. It's right here.

Gutsy broad.

I need a recess.

Take ten.

What in God's name am I doing?

I believe it's called an autopsy.

Oh, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but believe me, now is not the time.

Hi, Harry.

Leon.

So, how would you like your steak?

Well,

Leon, you sure shot up, didn't you?

Sort of.

Those guys must be hot in these things.

I really missed you. Stay away.

I was just going to hug you. No hugs.

Not till we establish some mutually acceptable but utterly inviolable ground

rules.

Boy, vampires say the darndest things.

You have to promise that I can go any time I want to.

Leon. Okay, adios, amigo. All right, all right.

You got my word.

As a judge and as the world's tallest living mouseketeer.

You really are weird, Harry.

Can I have a hug now?

Have a ball.

You know, I was worried about you, guy.

Why? Why? You were gone six months. Where were you?

California. I was living on a beach.

For six months? It was a nude beach.

I see.

So did I.

Why'd you come back?

I said, why'd you come back?

Sir, your presence is urgently requested in the courtroom.

Could you at least RSVP?

I'll be right there.

Leon, you and I got to talk.

You stay here, and I'll come back on my meal break.

Okay, as long as you don't say anything to anyone else.

You got that.

Uh, Leon, you didn't actually steal anything, did you?

Three pounds of spam. Ate most of it before they caught me.

Well, I guess you've suffered enough.

Hey, Mac.

How you doing, sir?

I feel like a million bucks.

All right, people, we got justice to dish out, and it's getting cold.

Sir! Sir!

Leon! Oh, Bull, I know. I saw him in your office.

Naturally, I wanted to keep him there, so I snuck into the room and jumped him

from behind.

You what?

Unfortunately, he managed to run up my chest and escape over my back.

He's gone.

Oh, no.

I know, sir. We were this close to having him.

Boo, boo, boo.

You big, sweet...

need a shine.

I wish you wouldn't do that, sir.

Oh, Mac, it's just so frustrating.

Uh -huh.

I mean, I had him. I had him right here until Bull...

Rain dookie on your parade, sir.

Yeah. Sir, he feels bad about it. He wants to make it up to you. He's looking

all over for that boy.

Sir!

not find that little wretched street urchin suit, I am going to be late for

Daniel's party.

You were invited to it?

No, I'm crashing it.

Dan, you'll have your head on a plate. You will never know I'm going to be in

costume. I'm just going to slip in, dazzle the mayor with a few charming

anecdotes about my life, and then slip right out.

You don't have a few charming anecdotes from your life, Dan.

I know.

That's why I wrote something.

All right, people, let's try to get some work done, huh?

Your Honor, you look like hell.

Thank you, Dan.

You look emotionally whipped. Why don't we wrap it up and you take a good rest

tonight? You in some kind of hurry, Fielding?

Somebody get a tranquilizer gun.

Leon!

Okay, kid, please!

Hold what?

Or I'll poke a three -inch deep hole in your forehead.

Or I'll put that thing away before someone gets hurt.

just didn't know about our arrangement.

What arrangement?

He said I could leave any time I wanted to. He said that?

You promised, Harry.

You promised him?

Come on, I'm getting dizzy.

All right, yeah, I promised him.

I can't believe you're gonna let this child go.

I mean, if you cared about him at all.

Well, maybe I don't care about him that much.

You're right, Leon. I promised. You're free to go. Good luck to you in your

future endeavors.

Now maybe we can all go back to our own lives. Here, here. Now, about that

adjournment, sir.

Excuse me. First, you pick up your little gavel.

Did you say you didn't care that much? Yes, he did say that. Now, run along.

Uncle Danny's in a big hurry.

That's what I said, Leon.

Right, just checking.

But you do care a little bit, right? Hey!

Why don't you get out of here?

That kid's stuff is an act he turns on and off whenever he wants to con

somebody. You look at him!

There's no little kid left in there.

He's a mature, cold, calculating adult.

And I've had enough of him trying to exploit me and take advantage of me. He

took my affections, he used them for his gain, and then he threw me away like an

old shoe.

I've had it!

I don't care if he lives or if he dies.

I just want him to get that.

or no, Judge, that was vicious, sadistic, cruel, dirty, rotten... Slimy?

Synonyms are my life.

Bye.

Miss Sullivan, do you have any idea what you just said to me?

Yes, sir, I do.

Well, you're right.

Oh, yes. So am I.

I thought you said Leon had to go.

He wouldn't have gotten 25 feet.

Mac, call security downstairs. Tell the boys at the door they can go.

My pleasure, sir.

Excuse me, sir. What's going on?

Leon wasn't going anywhere.

The minute Mrs. Lund told me he was in New York, I had security seal off this

building. He could get in, but there was no way he was going to get out.

You mean you lied to me?

Of course.

I'm an adult.

Sometimes adults have to do a lot of things that they don't really want to

Like lie?

If it comes to that.

Even though they don't want to.

Just like they don't want to have to instill fear into a young, beautiful,

innocent mind.

But sometimes they got to.

Because a kid's got to learn sooner than later.

that there are bad people out there that don't cherish them and love them the

way that we do.

You need somebody, Leon.

When you left me the last time, I hurt real bad.

And nobody, not even you, is ever going to put me through that again.

You mean you'd hunt me down like a dog if I ran out of here?

I'd tie you with a leather strap and feed you with a tube if I had to.

I love you too, Harry.

Oh.

You okay, big guy?

Understand. I'm not in trouble anymore.

Leon.

Hi, Mrs. Lund. Guess what?

Harry's going to tie me with a leather strap and feed me through a tube.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Can I please have some parents now, Mrs. Lund? Please, can I?

Leon, this is quite a change of attitude for you. What happened?

Well, Harry convinced me that despite my delusions of maturity...

It would be better developmentally for me to have a more structured,

authoritarian environment.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Hey, Harry, do you think after they find me a home you could come by sometime

and show me how to push those fishhooks into my eyeballs?

Oh, I guess it would be all right.

What have I become?

See you later, Harry.

See you, Leon.

Hey, hey.

Why did you come back?

I mean, you knew that there was a chance that I was going to grab you.

I was counting on it.

But you told me you didn't want me to.

Hey, how can I lie as an adult if I don't get in a little practice now?

Get out of here.

Mr. Blunt, wait till you see the Fisher gang.

There's this fake blood that oozes out.

I didn't squeeze the eyeballs.

Boy, you sure had us going. there, sir.

You had us really believing you didn't care about Leon anymore.

Really? You mean it wasn't obvious that I was just acting? Oh, it was obvious.

Yeah, that's what I thought. It was obvious to you guys, wasn't it?

Bull.

I only have three active brain cells, Christine.

And even I knew.

In other words, the only two people that didn't know were the 12 -year -old and

me.

Got your nose.

You're dying to check, aren't you?