Original subtitles

Yeah.

Your Honor, I... What's he doing?

Watching television.

He just bought that.

It's not on.

Can't find the power knob.

Bull, didn't that come with an instruction manual?

How cute!

Evening, everybody.

Yeah, I got one of those.

You know how to turn it on? Sure.

Voila.

Oh, wow.

If we had tweezers, we could change the channel.

Oh, yeah, that baby be great for Super Bowl parties.

Here's the volume.

And things don't look any better in the state capitol at this hour, where

legislators continue their battle over the budget.

They don't pass that budget, we don't get paid tomorrow.

Oh, hey, guys, you know the big redhead in accounting, the one with the 38D IQ?

She finally said yes.

Can somebody please loan me a C -note till tomorrow?

No.

All right, all right, so the hot tub club is out. I can do with 50.

It's official. The assembly has adjourned for the night without a

That means thousands of municipal employees won't be seeing their

tomorrow.

You say we're not going to be paid tomorrow?

To repeat.

I heard you!

You silly twit!

I have got 12 cents in the bank. Do you hear that?

Pull out the antenna a little. Maybe we'll get sharper contrast.

This is Ted Stevens, live in Albany.

I want you dead.

If I could get to Albany, I would kill you myself!

And I hate your blazer!

I'm sorry.

I don't know what came over me.

Harry, I apologize about your TV.

Let me tell him.

Tell me what?

It was bull.

He's getting up.

He's coming over here.

Money or revenge?

Revenge.

Thank

you.

Here's your warrants, Mac.

I found a nickel in my paperclip compartment.

Oh, boy.

It could come in handy.

Well, things are going to be tight here.

Everybody finds out about this budget mess, they're going to go crazy.

Now, Mac, don't underestimate people. Even without money, pride in one's work

can be a pretty powerful thing.

Fail report.

even heard yet.

Hey, those are mine, mister. Give them back. Hey, look, we had a deal. A dollar

fifty for a buck.

But that's a whole carton. Hey, Phil, what is this? A buck? You happy? All

right, I got cookies. I gotta move them.

Hi, my name's Christine.

What's yours?

Cindy. Cindy? Well, Cindy, tell me something.

Did you see Danny out in the hallway kissing a nice woman a couple of minutes

ago?

You know, that woman's husband is one of Danny's superiors. And that puts Danny

in a very compromising position.

Do you know what compromising means?

Cindy, what do you think would happen if Dan's superior were to find out?

We try to squeeze in a couple of cases. Might help take our minds off money.

What do you got, Mac?

About a buck sixty -five so far.

Congratulations. Can I have a case?

Oh, yes, sir.

People versus Ellen Blink, Your Honor.

I've never even seen a real judge before.

Don't worry about it.

Underneath the robe is a Bullwinkle T -shirt.

True story.

What's your charge, Mac?

Breaking and entering.

Her?

What'd she break into?

Her hotel room.

Why'd they arrest her?

Why am I asking you?

Your Honor, Sidney Frizzell here is a manager of a transient hotel uptown.

It's a decent establishment.

Steam heat, fresh linens every month, pay phones right on the same block.

Boat people welcome.

I can fit a dozen of them in a room.

They don't mind. It's just like home.

Your Honor, Mrs. Blake returned from work and found an eviction notice on her

door. I got a simple policy.

You don't pay, you don't stay.

Made that up myself.

Your Honor, Mrs. Blake was just trying to retrieve some of her belongings. Mr.

Frizzell intercepted her and called the police.

Retrieving her belongings?

She jimmied the lock with a butter knife.

Mrs. Blake?

I didn't have a screwdriver.

Perfectly adequate substitute.

Your Honor, it was cold outside. Mrs. Blake just wanted to get her coat.

Mr. Frizzell impounded their possessions.

He took my TV!

Big deal!

It's not color!

It's not even Japanese.

You two pals?

That's her son, Your Honor. He lives with her at the hotel.

Till I get money, neither one of them's living at my hotel.

He is within his rights to refuse occupancy, sir.

Does that mean he can swipe our stuff, too?

Yeah, it does!

You filthy, scummy, two -bit punk!

Don't get me wrong. I love kids.

What's his name? Joey.

Hiya, Joey. I'm Harry. Who cares?

Come here, little boy.

we settle down.

Now, Joey, I understand why you're upset.

You don't look like you're old enough to understand puberty.

You ever study wood in school?

Your Honor, perhaps we should approach the bench and discuss this.

Why don't you guys truck on down here.

Okay, what is the big deal here? How much is it going to take to settle this?

She owes him $200.

Plus room tax.

So he locks her out. So what if she pays him? He gave her every opportunity.

Then she broke in.

But I swore I'd pay him back the minute I got my first job.

You know, guys, we really got to brush up on our whispering.

Okay, spread out, people.

Mrs. Blake, when will you be paid?

Tomorrow afternoon.

I'm a cleaning lady at the Municipal Records Building.

You work for the city.

Is that a bad idea?

Oh, no, Mrs. Blake. It's just that according to the news, city employees

not be getting any money for quite some time.

Didn't you see that on TV?

We don't have one.

Remember?

No, the mine tends to go at my age.

So they're broke. That ain't my fault. Like I'm supposed to look after every

pinheaded slob who gets paid by this town.

Well, I didn't mean you slobs.

This is impossible. It can't be.

We just moved here.

We don't know anyone.

Can't you help us?

You're asking him for help? What you did was against the law, and he knows that.

Your Honor, if you rule against my client, he'll be out on the streets with

nothing.

Excuse me.

Recess.

How long?

Uh, two... two and a half weeks?

What a depressing day.

Tell me about it.

Mine would have been totally shot if I hadn't found this lying out in the

street.

Geez.

You'd think somebody would just rip that thing off Cosell's head and get it over

with.

one of those once.

You don't say. When was that?

6 .30.

Dan grabbed it from me and threw it out the window.

Why don't you go look on the street?

Who knows? You might get lucky.

That Ted Koppel's a cod.

Thanks for keeping an eye on Herbal. You betcha.

Thank you. They told me you paid for all this food.

You paid for this stuff?

I wouldn't touch it for a million bucks.

Joey, he's trying to help. Yeah, I took a lot to help him so much. Why didn't he

just nail that jerk?

Joey, can I let you in on a couple of things off the record?

Number one, I love nailing jerks more than anyone else I know.

I wrote the book on jerk nailing.

And number two, the last kid who talked to me the way you're talking to me ended

up as part of an off -ramp in Newark.

I apologize for him, Your Honor.

He's not a bad boy. He just broke -traded.

Yeah, I know, Mrs. Blake.

I was a kid myself nine or ten months ago.

You're a nice man.

Well, now that I'm not too sure about.

You see, I've been looking over some cases that are kind of like yours, and

just doesn't look like... See?

I told you. We're not going to get a thing, Ma.

Let him finish.

We are going to get justice here, Joey. That's why we're here.

Right, Judge?

Excuse me.

I've got to double -check my hat. I'm sure there's a rabbit in there

I beg your pardon?

Joey,

listen to me.

Our justice system may not be perfect, it may be slow, and it may drive us

sometimes, but it also happens to be the best game in town.

You want to buy a vowel?

Are you that retarded?

Well, it's right up there, anyway.

Flo, Flo, Flo, it has to be his. I saw Dan when he took it from him.

So, maybe his is still lying out there.

The only way we can make sure is to dust this one for fingerprints.

Anytime you're ready.

All right.

Never mind.

Max, give me the Blake file, please.

Yes, sir.

Here. I was just kidding.

I know it was cruel, sadistic, and the pleasure I received was not unlike that

of a twisted child who pulls the wings off flies.

I'm funny that way.

Will all parties approach the bench, please?

I wonder what he's got up his sleeve.

Usually three or four watches.

Took so long, I'm frightened.

Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Flake. I have a feeling we're about to see some magic.

The state finds the defendant guilty as charged.

Ta -da.

The fine is $200. This court will suspend that fine until such time as the

defendant can defray restitution.

What about all our stuff?

The court also holds for the plaintiff.

and forbids the defendant entry to her property until the said plaintiff's

eviction proceedings are dismissed.

God, I love this country.

I am sorry.

I did everything I could.

I did my best.

Are we going to jail?

No. Of course you're not going to jail.

Then where are we going to stay tonight?

It's cold tonight.

Sure is the best game in town, Harry.

We love it.

Take it easy, kid.

I'll take it any way I can get it.

You're a pig!

Let him go.

I picked the console.

Hi, Mac. Hi.

Is Judge Stone in yet? Yeah, he's been here for almost an hour.

I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Why? Well, he's not in the best of moods.

Mac, I can imagine. That was an awful session he had last night.

I just thought I'd go in there and cheer him up a little bit. Oh.

That would be the last of the Flintstones Tumblr set.

Matt, this is crazy.

Has anybody tried to talk to him?

I believe that would start the third shelf of law review books.

Well, I for one am not just going to stand here while he comes unglued.

That was furniture, wasn't it?

Uh -huh.

How come I got ten bucks and you got fifty?

Because I arranged it. I did the paperwork. I made the phone calls. I

down there.

But it was my blood.

So it was my idea.

Now go rest. You look drained. I'm worried.

All right.

Criminal Court Part Two is now in session.

The Honorable Harold P. Tone.

Good Lord.

Are you okay?

Hi, sir. You look like hell.

How much sleep did you get last night? Five, ten minutes?

I couldn't get them out of my mind all night.

I just kept hearing that kid call me a pig.

It's probably because they were out sleeping in your alley.

There are in this town the odds of them actually choosing yours.

Your Honor, what happened to that woman and her son was not your fault.

You had no choice. You had to rule that way.

I actually heard him calling me pig.

It was not a dream.

It wasn't a hallucination.

I heard him.

What if we just get started, huh?

First case, Mac.

People versus the Wheeler family, sir.

Bob, June, and little Carol Ann.

Just take us right to the gas chamber.

We don't care.

If only they were all like you.

I like these people. Treat them nice.

Your Honor, the Wheelers were found on a park bench crying.

They were arrested for vagrancy. For God's sake, help us.

Institutionalize us for the rest of our natural lives.

Your Honor, my clients come from a small town in West Virginia.

Two weeks ago, Mr. Wheeler lost his job when a tornado leveled the diner he

washed dishes at. It also destroyed the adjoining trailer park.

Our camper was in stall six.

It wasn't much.

Now... It isn't anything.

They found one of the axles in a lamp on top of a laundromat in the next county.

I lost my dog.

We had to dig a collar out of a tree.

She was Carol Ann's only friend.

Toto?

knows what happened to the puppies.

That girl is wearing a potato sack.

I know.

They always look awful without a belt.

Anyway, the real McCoy's here.

They decided to relocate to Florida. When they were at the Port Authority

changing buses, they were mugged. According to the report, they lost

their suitcases, their money, their wallets, their clothes, their daughter's

cabbage... Oh, come on, you made this up.

Will I ever see Disney World now, Daddy?

Never, sweetheart.

Never in a million years.

Recess.

I'll be in my office under my rug.

Talk about your gloomy gussies.

Deciding they could make no further progress in tonight's budget session,

sides decided to pack it in a few minutes ago and resume talks in the

Yeah, sure. Go home.

Chomp your faces while I'm making soup out of ketchup.

Back down to you, Larry.

I beg down to you, Larry.

Want to go down, Larry? I'll show you down, Larry.

We got trouble.

What kind of trouble, Matt?

Remember that lady and her kid from last night?

Kid just tried to rob a liquor store on Broadway.

So he got arrested?

He got shot.

Harry.

Let's go.

No. Please.

Come on. One more pint.

We could squeeze it into your schedule.

the kid he heard already. The cops gave him a call.

When? A few minutes ago.

Right before he quit.