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1
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,782
Cat Lady loves
playing with string.
2
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,385
Meow!
3
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,255
[Shink, scrape]
4
00:00:11,355 --> 00:00:12,659
[Clang]
5
00:00:13,528 --> 00:00:15,331
Yikes! What a mess!
6
00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:18,671
Time to scoop
the station's litter box.
7
00:00:18,804 --> 00:00:20,541
[Purrs]
8
00:00:21,677 --> 00:00:23,814
So many toys to play with.
9
00:00:23,948 --> 00:00:25,217
It's like catnip!
10
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,088
Gosh. Am I just--IDK--
11
00:00:27,188 --> 00:00:28,624
laying on the cat stuff
too thick?
12
00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:31,597
No, Jenna, no! Stop it.
You're the Cat Lady!
13
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,835
It would be weird
if you didn't act like a cat,
14
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,204
though giving myself
a tongue bath
15
00:00:35,337 --> 00:00:36,908
was maybe a bit much.
16
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:37,943
Aah!
17
00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:39,947
[Growling]
18
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,552
Gus is a--errrp--dog person.
19
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,427
[Theme song playing]
20
00:01:02,859 --> 00:01:04,128
[Glass breaks]
21
00:01:04,228 --> 00:01:05,865
Martinez: Listen up.
22
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,368
The only thing more embarrassing
23
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,837
than the police station being
a crime scene
24
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,109
is how dirty this
evidence locker is,
25
00:01:11,243 --> 00:01:12,845
so we ain't leaving
until it's clean.
26
00:01:12,979 --> 00:01:14,248
Flute: Well,
let's hurry this up.
27
00:01:14,382 --> 00:01:15,383
It's ladies night at Jinko's,
28
00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:16,987
and you know what that means.
29
00:01:17,087 --> 00:01:18,858
Summers, activate free drink
robot boobs.
30
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,260
[Air hisses]
31
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,464
Hey! My eyes are up here
32
00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:23,868
but also down here.
33
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,839
My nipples are bodycams.
34
00:01:25,872 --> 00:01:27,141
Can't make it tonight.
35
00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:28,476
I've got a hot date
with some socks
36
00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:29,880
that need ironing.
37
00:01:30,013 --> 00:01:31,416
Oh, I'd shine them
if that were possible.
38
00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:33,721
Wynona you coming
to ladies night?
39
00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:35,157
With the things I've done,
40
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:37,027
I'm not sure
I qualify as a "lady."
41
00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:38,429
[Air escapes]
42
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:41,169
Robot need love. Come closer.
43
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,404
Summers: Aah!
Martinez: We've got to do
44
00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:44,142
something
about the fungus monster.
45
00:01:44,242 --> 00:01:45,612
Maybe we should poison it.
46
00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:47,281
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio!
47
00:01:47,414 --> 00:01:48,884
Is that what I think it is?
48
00:01:49,018 --> 00:01:50,822
Indeed. Also, hi!
49
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:54,028
Gather round, my impeccably
diverse group of friends
50
00:01:54,161 --> 00:01:56,900
as I tell you, a one-act tale
of how I helped
51
00:01:57,034 --> 00:02:00,575
Flute discover his crime mind.
52
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:03,179
Between stints
as a middle school teacher
53
00:02:03,313 --> 00:02:05,585
and criminal mastermind,
I briefly moonlit
54
00:02:05,718 --> 00:02:07,822
as the headmaster
of a training program
55
00:02:07,855 --> 00:02:11,329
for the best of the elite
of the crème de la crmiest
56
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,534
of detectives in training.
57
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:15,403
Welcome to Top Dick!
58
00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:16,540
Which, I cannot stress enough,
59
00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:18,042
is a perfectly acceptable word
60
00:02:18,176 --> 00:02:19,580
for me to use in this context.
61
00:02:19,713 --> 00:02:22,318
The competition is on to see
who amongst you
62
00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:24,288
is the best detective here.
63
00:02:24,322 --> 00:02:27,394
-May the best man...
-Or only woman.
64
00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:28,598
Pentos: Win.
65
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,467
Good luck, Ice Queen,
but I'm winning this.
66
00:02:30,602 --> 00:02:32,204
I come from a long line of men
67
00:02:32,337 --> 00:02:33,808
who have taken Top Dick.
68
00:02:33,942 --> 00:02:35,176
Really, Marverick?
69
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:36,680
You strike me more as a bottom.
70
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,216
I'd strike your bottom,
71
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:39,352
but I can't bend down that far.
72
00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:40,955
Hey! That's my partner.
73
00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,491
You can't talk
to a woman like that.
74
00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:44,495
Actually, I can
because it's 2003,
75
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,366
where this kind of sexist banter
was allowed
76
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,802
and often high-fived.
77
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:49,405
Up top!
78
00:02:58,089 --> 00:02:59,058
Pentos: Hmm.
79
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,661
[Gunshots]
80
00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:06,840
Hyah!
81
00:03:06,974 --> 00:03:08,577
Pentos: Ha ha ha!
82
00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:11,650
By the power vested
in me by the state
83
00:03:11,784 --> 00:03:15,725
of wherever we are,
I will avenge you.
84
00:03:15,858 --> 00:03:18,730
Good night, sweet prince.
85
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:19,532
Ooh!
86
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,001
[Cadet playing "Taps" on bugle]
87
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,240
Why, Duck, why?
I can only assume it was
88
00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:24,643
because you didn't listen to me.
89
00:03:24,776 --> 00:03:26,112
Had you done so, you certainly
wouldn't be dead,
90
00:03:26,246 --> 00:03:27,448
so this is all...
91
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,453
your fault!
92
00:03:30,588 --> 00:03:31,857
Mmm.
93
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:39,005
I bet I know the last thing
that this guy...saw.
94
00:03:39,138 --> 00:03:40,975
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
95
00:03:41,008 --> 00:03:42,277
Flute: Gah!
96
00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:44,382
This vic is
like Nic Cage's IMDb page.
97
00:03:44,415 --> 00:03:46,286
The further up you look,
98
00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,289
the messier things get.
99
00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:50,294
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
100
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:51,831
Pentos: Ha ha ha! Hee!
101
00:03:51,964 --> 00:03:53,701
Pentos, voice-over:
To have any chance of winning,
102
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:57,408
Flute and his wingman
Goose--I mean, Duck--
103
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,946
needed to ace
the sexy volleyball competition,
104
00:04:00,046 --> 00:04:03,420
but fate, like my fellow
teachers when I'd suggest
105
00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:06,993
we get fondue,
had other plans.
106
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:13,507
Martinez: Unh!
107
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,509
Hyah!
108
00:04:14,642 --> 00:04:16,011
Duck!
109
00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:20,320
[Gasps]
110
00:04:20,454 --> 00:04:22,726
Talk to me, Duck!
111
00:04:22,859 --> 00:04:25,197
Why didn't you duck
when I said, "Duck," Duck?
112
00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:26,967
Is it because you thought
I was saying your name
113
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,673
when I was actually using
the verb form of the word duck?
114
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:32,044
Because that would mean
this is all...
115
00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:35,585
my fault!
116
00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:38,925
Can I use this one for
the dead partner competition?
117
00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:40,862
[Squeak]
118
00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:43,735
You're too late.
I quit and turned in my badge.
119
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,172
A good detective
never lets his partner die.
120
00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:48,476
Pentos:
Perhaps you didn't let him die.
121
00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:51,349
Perhaps he was murdered.
122
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:53,220
But there was no evidence
of murder.
123
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,889
You may very well be top dick,
124
00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,360
but how will anyone see it
when you hide
125
00:04:57,460 --> 00:05:00,768
behind evidence and rules
and freshly ironed trousers?
126
00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:03,908
Allow me inside,
and I can help you grow
127
00:05:03,941 --> 00:05:05,477
beyond your wildest dreams
128
00:05:05,612 --> 00:05:07,882
by embracing the chaos that lies
129
00:05:07,982 --> 00:05:11,088
in the deepest, darkest corners
of your mind.
130
00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,626
You mean the part
of my brain where I keep
131
00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:14,629
the memory of my best friend
Eli teaching me
132
00:05:14,729 --> 00:05:17,936
how to masturbate on
the safety patrol trip to D.C.?
133
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:23,479
Um, I want to hear about that,
I do, I really, really do,
134
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:24,850
but come with me.
135
00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:26,252
Flute: That's what Eli said.
136
00:05:26,385 --> 00:05:27,655
Pentos: Enough with Eli!
137
00:05:27,788 --> 00:05:29,892
The best detectives are
able to access something
138
00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:34,135
I call the subconscious
clue detecting neural framework,
139
00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:35,838
or SCDNF!
140
00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:37,107
Too many words for me.
141
00:05:37,207 --> 00:05:38,510
What about crime mind?
142
00:05:38,611 --> 00:05:41,950
Yeah, whatever.
Drink this to relax.
143
00:05:41,983 --> 00:05:43,486
Pass. I don't drink alcohol.
144
00:05:43,521 --> 00:05:45,525
Then you'll never be
a great detective
145
00:05:45,658 --> 00:05:47,394
or accepted socially.
146
00:05:47,529 --> 00:05:49,966
I guess one drink can't hurt.
147
00:05:53,641 --> 00:05:55,678
Pentos: You must look
beyond the clues,
148
00:05:55,812 --> 00:05:58,550
preferably
through a pop culture lens.
149
00:05:58,684 --> 00:06:00,187
Volleyball!
Deserted beach!
150
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:04,428
Find the connection,
and you will find Duck's killer!
151
00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,165
Wilson: Please.
You have to help me.
152
00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:08,103
But I need to solve
Duck's murder.
153
00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:11,275
Tom Hanks: Ho ho! Wilson!
154
00:06:11,409 --> 00:06:12,545
Wilison: Oh, dear God! It's him.
155
00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:13,881
He wants to put a wig on me
156
00:06:14,014 --> 00:06:15,551
and do unspeakable things!
157
00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:17,922
But he's our generation's
finest actor and "SNL" host.
158
00:06:17,956 --> 00:06:20,661
Yes, but when we're
alone out here,
159
00:06:20,694 --> 00:06:24,034
he fills me with his poison.
160
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,303
Eww!
161
00:06:25,403 --> 00:06:27,173
Oh. Poison!
162
00:06:27,307 --> 00:06:28,710
Hanks: Wilson!
163
00:06:28,844 --> 00:06:30,413
Wilson: Oh, God. He's coming!
164
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:32,117
Hanks: Oh! Hey there, friend.
165
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,324
Did you see a little
sex ball rolling around here
166
00:06:35,424 --> 00:06:36,960
about ankle-high, straw hair?
167
00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:40,934
Got a butt you could bounce
a coconut off of!
168
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,574
National treasure Tom Hanks
may have been intimate
169
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:44,976
with a sports ball?
170
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:47,715
Hmm. Still makes more sense
than "Cloud Atlas."
171
00:06:47,849 --> 00:06:49,452
Pentos: Yes! Connect the dots!
172
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:53,159
Make sense of the senseless!
173
00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:55,163
Poison.
174
00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:56,934
Duck.
175
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,938
Motive.
176
00:06:59,071 --> 00:07:02,077
Murder.
177
00:07:02,211 --> 00:07:03,581
Whiskey.
178
00:07:03,614 --> 00:07:06,887
Neat. Make it a double.
179
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,491
As the winner,
it's an honor to prove
180
00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:11,763
that chicks can also be dicks.
181
00:07:11,863 --> 00:07:13,366
Flute: Not so fast.
Martinez: Ohh!
182
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,337
Duck wasn't killed
by the impact of the volleyball.
183
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:17,575
It was the poison your partner
put inside it
184
00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:19,613
to prevent me
from taking the prize.
185
00:07:19,746 --> 00:07:21,583
I only did it to
protect our lead,
186
00:07:21,616 --> 00:07:22,885
but how did you know?
187
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,355
A weird old man
in a far-too-small
188
00:07:24,488 --> 00:07:25,758
small, white towel taught me
189
00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:29,098
that things aren't always
as they...scream.
190
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:33,707
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
191
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,145
Whoa, oh, oh!
192
00:07:36,179 --> 00:07:37,982
Pentos, voice-over:
Now that I had molded Flute
193
00:07:38,115 --> 00:07:39,786
into my perfect nemesis,
194
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:45,664
our little game of cat and mouse
was about to dot dot dot begin,
195
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,504
and I knew the perfect
way to celebrate.
196
00:07:48,604 --> 00:07:50,841
Hi. I'm looking for Eli.
197
00:07:57,522 --> 00:07:59,659
Perhaps we shouldn't be
using the fungus monster
198
00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:01,029
as a garbage disposal.
199
00:08:01,062 --> 00:08:04,401
He's getting positively
Muskian in size.
200
00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:05,671
Elon Musk isn't fat.
201
00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,542
He just has a Pixar mom's ass.
202
00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:09,946
Hold on. Now this brings
back memories.
203
00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:12,685
Time to tell the tale
of why I first left Grimsburg.
204
00:08:12,818 --> 00:08:14,556
Martinez:
Another story about you?
205
00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:15,791
Flute: Are there any other kind?
206
00:08:15,824 --> 00:08:17,696
The year was years ago.
207
00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:20,066
I was crushing it as a detective
with my crime mind,
208
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,970
but I was about to
lose my regular mind.
209
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:23,674
I had hit
the middle-aged trifecta--
210
00:08:23,808 --> 00:08:27,014
got married, got a kid,
got divorced.
211
00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:28,950
[Sobbing]
212
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,055
With Harmony and her kid
out of the way,
213
00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:32,925
I could finally focus
on my one true love,
214
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:35,765
hiding from my problems in work.
215
00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:36,700
Got them!
216
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,704
That's 50 busts this week.
217
00:08:38,804 --> 00:08:40,107
What do you need me
to solve next, Kang?
218
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,976
Well, unless you want to start
murdering people
219
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,181
and lying to yourself about it,
there are no more cases.
220
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,718
-You solved them all.
-What?
221
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:47,822
There has to be more.
Crime never stops
222
00:08:47,856 --> 00:08:49,860
just like sharks
and e-mails from Costco.
223
00:08:49,993 --> 00:08:52,565
Maybe try solving what's going
on with you, Flute.
224
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,068
Spend time with your son
225
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,974
or sunbathing or bathing.
226
00:08:57,107 --> 00:08:59,579
Anything regarding hygiene
really.
227
00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:01,950
Flute, voice-over: I had
no problem taking a break
228
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,587
from crime,
but I wouldn't let one
229
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:05,323
pass me by if I saw it.
230
00:09:07,261 --> 00:09:10,734
Hey. We don't take too kindly
to drifters in this town.
231
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:14,575
If I were you,
I'd turn around, Tom Petty.
232
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:17,014
Wait. Tom Petty? I'm a huge fan.
233
00:09:17,147 --> 00:09:19,217
I lost my virginity
to your music
234
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,454
and my car keys.
235
00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:21,890
I think you're confused,
officer.
236
00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:23,894
Then why did you look up
when I said your name?
237
00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:26,767
Because I thought you
said Tim Patty,
238
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,837
which is my very real name.
239
00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:31,142
Uh-huh. And what's
in your bag, Tim?
240
00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:34,849
This? This is just some
guitar-shaped groceries.
241
00:09:34,882 --> 00:09:37,120
Now if you'll excuse me.
242
00:09:37,154 --> 00:09:38,857
Look. I've had
a real rough go of it lately,
243
00:09:38,891 --> 00:09:40,359
and your music saved me before.
244
00:09:40,493 --> 00:09:42,030
Maybe you've got
a song that could help,
245
00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:43,767
preferably a classic
and not a new one
246
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,638
I can't hum along to.
247
00:09:45,771 --> 00:09:48,376
I'm not who you think I am.
248
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,779
Then let's go down
to the station and let
249
00:09:49,912 --> 00:09:51,281
your fingerprints prove it.
250
00:09:51,315 --> 00:09:53,654
You do that,
and you're drawing first blood.
251
00:09:53,787 --> 00:09:55,056
That's a war you don't want.
252
00:09:55,189 --> 00:09:57,662
Why's that? Because you...
won't back down.
253
00:09:57,795 --> 00:09:59,799
No, I won't back down.
254
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,104
So you'll stand your ground?
255
00:10:02,204 --> 00:10:04,976
I won't be turned around.
256
00:10:05,076 --> 00:10:07,080
♪ Yeah, baby ♪
257
00:10:07,113 --> 00:10:08,517
-What?
-What?
258
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,389
Unh! Book this man on two counts
of telling me
259
00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:12,525
he's not Tom Petty.
260
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:14,394
-I'm not.
-Make it 3 counts.
261
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,198
That's not a punishable offense.
262
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:18,504
Flute, you can't keep hiding
in your work like
263
00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:20,273
a woman in a Hallmark movie.
264
00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:22,410
-It's not him.
-How do you know?
265
00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:24,549
Because he passed away
two weeks ago.
266
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:27,889
What?! But that's impossible.
He's right...
267
00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:29,559
there.
268
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,565
Kang: You're making a case
where there's not one.
269
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,101
Let it go.
270
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,938
When my wife told me
it was over, I didn't fight it.
271
00:10:36,072 --> 00:10:37,942
When you told me to take some
time off, I did as told,
272
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:39,946
and when my doctor told
me he was actually
273
00:10:40,079 --> 00:10:42,551
my accountant, I accepted it
and put my clothes back on,
274
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:43,954
but I'm done letting things go.
275
00:10:44,087 --> 00:10:45,691
Tom Petty is alive,
and I won't stop
276
00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:46,993
until I prove it.
277
00:10:47,026 --> 00:10:48,897
Cue montage!
278
00:10:55,711 --> 00:10:58,048
[Sirens]
279
00:10:59,719 --> 00:11:01,288
[Tires squeal]
280
00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:05,764
[Twang]
281
00:11:12,579 --> 00:11:15,016
Aah! Aah!
282
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,188
[Twang]
283
00:11:23,066 --> 00:11:24,467
Oof!
284
00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:27,073
[Feedback]
285
00:11:28,076 --> 00:11:29,344
Unh!
286
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,050
[Gasps]
287
00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,832
[Grunting]
288
00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:43,607
Damn you, Tom Petty!
289
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,080
Damn you and your torpedoes!
290
00:11:49,151 --> 00:11:51,890
Petty may have gone
absolutely goblin mode on us,
291
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:53,493
but he's about to break.
292
00:11:53,594 --> 00:11:54,762
I can feel it.
293
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:57,167
Pentos: You don't know
how it feels.
294
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,304
If that's who you say he is,
then you're dealing
295
00:11:59,438 --> 00:12:02,310
with a first ballot
Rock and Roll Hall of Famer.
296
00:12:02,444 --> 00:12:04,616
Those words are nothing to
a man who spent
297
00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:06,051
half his life on a tour bus.
298
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:08,056
-You can't save him.
-Oh, oh, oh!
299
00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:10,661
I didn't come here
to rescue him from you.
300
00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:14,134
I came here to rescue
you from Tom Petty.
301
00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:15,771
He's from Florida.
302
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,642
As much as I'd love to
see you die,
303
00:12:17,742 --> 00:12:18,911
I don't mess with Florida.
304
00:12:19,044 --> 00:12:20,881
He's coming for revenge.
305
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:24,120
Try not to bleed out
in my office.
306
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,064
[Picking notes]
307
00:12:29,197 --> 00:12:31,803
Before you kill me,
can you tell me one thing?
308
00:12:31,903 --> 00:12:33,072
Am I playing this right?
309
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,076
[Playing "Runnin' Down a Dream"]
310
00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:38,216
Ugh! Just give me that.
Yer so bad.
311
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:39,952
Have you ever changed
these strings?
312
00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:42,692
-Just admit who you are.
-Why do you care?
313
00:12:42,825 --> 00:12:44,227
Because I need to know.
314
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,165
Seems like the guy who wrote
the song "I Need to Know"
315
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,234
should know that.
316
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,271
And what if I am
who you think I am?
317
00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:50,675
How does that help anything?
318
00:12:50,775 --> 00:12:51,943
Because if you're still alive,
319
00:12:52,076 --> 00:12:54,281
that means anything
can come back,
320
00:12:54,414 --> 00:12:55,684
anything.
321
00:12:55,784 --> 00:12:57,086
You're runnin' down a dream,
322
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,090
one that never will come to you.
323
00:12:59,224 --> 00:13:00,928
So you're working on a mystery,
324
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,834
all these mysteries
going wherever they lead,
325
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:05,704
but at the end of the day...
326
00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:07,106
I'm runnin' down a dream.
327
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,848
You're right. I don't know
what I'm doing lately.
328
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:12,250
You got any other
songs it might help?
329
00:13:12,383 --> 00:13:15,123
"Time To Move On,"
"Into the Great Wide Open."
330
00:13:15,257 --> 00:13:17,127
"Learning to Fly"
is always an option.
331
00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:19,866
I think I'll just
go with "Breakdown."
332
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,135
What are you gonna do now?
333
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,972
While I was blowing
everything up,
334
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:26,078
it seems like this is
a pretty nice town.
335
00:13:26,111 --> 00:13:29,853
You should stay here, Tom Pet--
Tim Patty.
336
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:32,591
You belong among
the fireflowers.
337
00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:36,232
And sorry about those,
by the way.
338
00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:38,903
Bad batch of fertilizer,
I think.
339
00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:49,157
♪ Oh, I belong
among the fireflowers ♪
340
00:13:49,291 --> 00:13:52,497
♪ Flute moved on to a motel
with no TV ♪
341
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,270
[Man screaming]
342
00:13:55,303 --> 00:14:01,282
Tim: ♪ And I'm sorry about
blowing up those officers ♪
343
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:08,863
♪ But they were trying
to kill me ♪
344
00:14:08,897 --> 00:14:12,971
Enjoy your stay...Harmony Flute.
345
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,052
Martinez: I can't believe
someone found a way
346
00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:22,658
to murder somebody
with an Aerobie.
347
00:14:22,791 --> 00:14:24,662
That's the eighties for you!
348
00:14:24,762 --> 00:14:26,666
Gus: Mmm! Microplastics.
349
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,736
Wait. I found something
that reminds me
350
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:29,872
of a story, too.
351
00:14:29,905 --> 00:14:31,041
Is it a story about me?
352
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,745
It's actually about me.
353
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,047
Then let's keep looking.
354
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,051
Wynona:
Oh, I love merry-go-rounds.
355
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:37,922
Me, too,
except for this one time
356
00:14:38,055 --> 00:14:39,793
I basically died on one.
357
00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:42,899
Flashback mode, activate.
358
00:14:42,932 --> 00:14:45,036
It was a beautiful day
at the park.
359
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,806
Definitely not the kind
of day you'd expect
360
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:48,677
a massive explosion.
361
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,680
[Dramatic music playing]
362
00:14:57,828 --> 00:15:00,433
[Calliope playing]
363
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,538
[Dramatic music playing]
364
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:06,546
Agh!
365
00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:09,284
[Grunting]
366
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:13,225
Unh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
367
00:15:13,359 --> 00:15:16,700
That was fun,
but I've got to split...
368
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,170
you into a bunch of pieces!
369
00:15:19,304 --> 00:15:20,106
Aah!
370
00:15:20,239 --> 00:15:22,578
[Beeping, people screaming]
371
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,253
-Will he make it?
-Mmm. Doubtful,
372
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,124
but there is
an experimental new procedure
373
00:15:29,258 --> 00:15:31,128
that's astronomically expensive
and has almost
374
00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:33,600
zero chance of success.
375
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,869
Do it.
376
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:36,940
We could only save
the top half of his head.
377
00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:39,512
He'll need a digital mouth.
378
00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:42,117
Um, guys. We forgot to
put back his penis.
379
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,254
[Heart monitor beeping]
380
00:15:44,388 --> 00:15:47,594
We could just stick it
under his armpit.
381
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:49,131
Do it.
382
00:15:49,264 --> 00:15:50,868
How do you feel, Riddick?
383
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:52,270
Summers: I feel great!
384
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,742
More roboty than I remember,
that's for sure.
385
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,144
Oh, and who's Riddick?
386
00:15:56,244 --> 00:15:58,015
Detective Riddick.
That's you,
387
00:15:58,148 --> 00:15:59,552
The most badass man
on the force,
388
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,023
that we've rebuilt to be
a cyborg super cop.
389
00:16:02,157 --> 00:16:05,162
Summers:
Me? But my name's Greg Summers.
390
00:16:05,296 --> 00:16:06,766
I work at the merry-go-round.
391
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,268
[Calliope playing]
392
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,274
Wow! I wish my life was
as exciting as his.
393
00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:13,747
Every day, I do the same thing.
394
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,851
It's a little robotic.
395
00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:17,153
Aw, crap.
396
00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:19,023
You saved the wrong
half of a head!
397
00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:20,561
What did you do with Riddick's?
398
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:24,334
I followed protocol and threw it
in the half-head disposal.
399
00:16:25,804 --> 00:16:27,842
Summers: So now what?
Kang: Ideally, we'd train you
400
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:30,446
on how to use the hundreds of
technologically advanced weapons
401
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,450
you have installed,
but we got a tip
402
00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:35,056
on the location of the man
responsible for blowing you up,
403
00:16:35,189 --> 00:16:36,458
so we have to move now.
404
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,930
Don't worry.
There's a how-to video.
405
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,668
Hi. I'm Mario Lopez.
406
00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:42,470
I say yes to hosting everything
407
00:16:42,605 --> 00:16:45,644
because I literally
don't know the word no.
408
00:16:45,778 --> 00:16:47,648
Now then, will learning
how to use
409
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:51,154
your new cyborg body be easy?
410
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:52,591
Let's get started.
411
00:16:52,724 --> 00:16:55,898
Who wants to learn how
to shoot their laser gun?
412
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,067
Ooh! I do.
413
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,570
You know who else wanted to?
414
00:16:58,604 --> 00:17:01,208
Ana de Armas as she
prepared for her role
415
00:17:01,341 --> 00:17:04,080
in the sci-fi flick
"Laser Academy."
416
00:17:04,214 --> 00:17:07,821
Hot off her rumored on-set
romance with...
417
00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:12,831
Kang: Word is their grand plan
is even more evil
418
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,234
than we thought.
419
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,171
They want to bring back
unassigned seating
420
00:17:16,204 --> 00:17:18,309
in movie theaters,
which is why we need you
421
00:17:18,342 --> 00:17:19,845
to capture them alive.
422
00:17:19,878 --> 00:17:22,217
Did you understand everything
Mario Lopez told you?
423
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,220
I think so,
but he did spend the bulk
424
00:17:24,321 --> 00:17:26,224
of the video dishing
celeb hot goss.
425
00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:28,295
-Good enough.
-Oof!
426
00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:30,934
I don't want to hurt you guys!
427
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:33,840
Non-lethal flashbangs, activate.
428
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:38,850
Sorry!
429
00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,858
Soft net launcher, activate!
430
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:46,098
Sorry!
431
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,535
Man: Aah!
432
00:17:47,635 --> 00:17:49,204
Summers: I got to try
something more mundane
433
00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:50,574
that won't hurt anyone.
434
00:17:50,707 --> 00:17:53,580
Espresso machine, activate!
435
00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:55,149
Phew!
436
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,988
Aah!
437
00:17:58,122 --> 00:17:59,992
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
438
00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:02,097
Please surrender peacefully!
439
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,866
I can't see
another person's insides.
440
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,138
Ain't you the guy
from the merry-go-round?
441
00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:07,774
Huh. I thought I blew you up
442
00:18:07,808 --> 00:18:09,979
just like I plan on blowing up
the widespread practice
443
00:18:10,012 --> 00:18:11,883
of picking your own
movie theater seats.
444
00:18:12,016 --> 00:18:13,520
Soon I'll be able to get
there early,
445
00:18:13,553 --> 00:18:15,891
spread my crap out across
5 different seats,
446
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:17,695
and say I'm saving them
for friends
447
00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:20,166
when, in fact, I just
like having empty seats
448
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,569
on either side of me!
449
00:18:21,702 --> 00:18:23,405
Summers: You're a disgrace
to moviegoing
450
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,143
like those people
who stand up to salute
451
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,280
the Nicole Kidman AMC ad.
452
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,620
Flamethrower, activate!
453
00:18:31,889 --> 00:18:34,629
Oh, thank God.
I didn't...
454
00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:36,632
Man: Aah!
455
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,370
Aagh!
456
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,780
Summers: kill you. Aww.
457
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,586
I killed every terrorist.
458
00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,657
Either Mario Lopez is terrible
at explaining
459
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,326
advanced robotic weaponry,
460
00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,932
or maybe I'm just not
cut out for this job.
461
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,535
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
462
00:18:56,773 --> 00:18:59,310
Oh, hi. My name's Summers.
463
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,649
I'm Wynona.
I work at the morgue.
464
00:19:01,782 --> 00:19:03,285
Summers: What a coincidence.
465
00:19:03,319 --> 00:19:05,189
I recently put
several people in the morgue.
466
00:19:05,322 --> 00:19:06,592
Vinton: What are you doing?
467
00:19:06,726 --> 00:19:09,297
The half-head disposal
is for half-heads only.
468
00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:10,801
You just put a whole head in!
469
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,938
Everybody down!
It's gonna blow!
470
00:19:13,071 --> 00:19:15,076
Force field, activate!
471
00:19:15,176 --> 00:19:16,679
[Wynona gasps]
472
00:19:18,549 --> 00:19:19,317
Summers: Ohh!
473
00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:21,088
You saved my life.
474
00:19:21,188 --> 00:19:22,357
How can I ever repay you?
475
00:19:22,457 --> 00:19:24,696
Oh. Heh heh. You don't have to.
476
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:25,964
OK. Bye.
477
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,636
Kang: Let's go scrap you
for parts.
478
00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:31,943
No. This made me realize that
I may be built to kill,
479
00:19:32,076 --> 00:19:33,478
but I'm born to protect.
480
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,483
Instead of sitting watching
the world go round,
481
00:19:35,618 --> 00:19:37,354
I just did something that
felt good
482
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:39,457
in my heart and my armpit.
483
00:19:39,491 --> 00:19:41,095
Then let's find you a partner,
484
00:19:41,195 --> 00:19:43,232
someone dark enough
to keep your brightness
485
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:44,502
from blinding people.
486
00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:46,639
Kang, you're gonna
wanna see this.
487
00:19:46,739 --> 00:19:49,111
Thanks,
Sergeant Yorgonawanaseedis.
488
00:19:49,244 --> 00:19:50,747
"Dear detective people"...
489
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:52,383
Flute: It's been a few years,
but I wanted to let you
490
00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:54,054
know I'm doing great.
491
00:19:54,154 --> 00:19:56,391
Please continue not trying to
find me since I'm doing great,
492
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,129
as evidenced by the number
of times I've told you
493
00:19:58,229 --> 00:19:59,497
I'm doing great in this letter.
494
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,535
Yours greatly,
Former Detective Flute.
495
00:20:01,669 --> 00:20:03,506
P.S. Please ignore
the tear stains on this letter.
496
00:20:03,606 --> 00:20:05,109
They are tears
of manly confidence.
497
00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:07,113
Again, doing great.
498
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:09,384
Kang: Well, the stationary's
from the Putitt Inn.
499
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:11,355
Summers,
I think I just found you
500
00:20:11,388 --> 00:20:14,094
your borderline, suicidal,
toxic partner.
501
00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:17,133
You had me at borderline.
502
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:19,404
Pentos: Wait. So your penis
is under your arm?
503
00:20:19,538 --> 00:20:21,542
I think you
misunderstood the story.
504
00:20:21,642 --> 00:20:24,414
No. I believe 'tis you
who has misunderstood
505
00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:26,384
your own tragic tale.
506
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:28,288
Yeah, it was a story
about meeting me.
507
00:20:28,422 --> 00:20:30,026
Martinez: All right.
I'm tired of cleaning.
508
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:31,529
Let's hit happy hour.
509
00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:33,298
Wynona: But we didn't
really clean much up.
510
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,302
Kang: It's just a construct to
get us to tell stories.
511
00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:36,872
Maybe we'll do it every season.
512
00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:39,845
Of detective work.
Right, Flute?
513
00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:40,847
Flute?
514
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,785
[Flute grunting]
515
00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:46,391
Oh! Ooh! Thanks!
You almost got me, Gus.
516
00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:49,431
Gus: Yeah! Ha ha!
Me almost eat you.
517
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:52,170
Flute: Now, that would have
been a good story.
518
00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:54,775
[Laughter]
519
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:58,014
Pentos: Shotgun.
520
00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:03,191
Well, we missed happy hour.
521
00:21:03,325 --> 00:21:04,862
Time for regular old sad hour.
522
00:21:04,962 --> 00:21:07,166
But I got to learn more
about you, partner.
523
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,570
Nothing sad about that.
524
00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:10,172
Then you weren't
really listening.
525
00:21:10,306 --> 00:21:12,578
We never really
discussed the giant fungus.
526
00:21:12,711 --> 00:21:15,415
-What was his story?
-Or hers.
527
00:21:15,449 --> 00:21:17,053
[Others groan]
528
00:21:17,186 --> 00:21:18,322
Kang: Not our problem.
529
00:21:18,455 --> 00:21:19,458
I found him a new job,
530
00:21:19,592 --> 00:21:22,062
and I think he's gonna
like it.
531
00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:30,813
The end!
532
00:21:35,055 --> 00:21:35,957
Voice: Bento!
37679
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