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1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:04,169
Hello.
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,840
We would love to use our free
passes to see one movie
3
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:09,274
and only one movie.
4
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,910
Um, we're gonna see...
"Fang for a Fang."
5
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,979
Gotta support
book adaptations.
6
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,882
You read the book?
No.
7
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:17,983
Thank you.
8
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:18,984
Okay.
Have a good rest.
9
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,953
(man)Gun it, bitch, withoutthat cocaine,
10
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:23,489
I can't controlthe other werewolves.
11
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,858
Um, I'm confused.
12
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,627
Chris Rock is killing all
the werewolves,
13
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,330
but he is also a werewolf.
14
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,065
This movie
makes no sense.
15
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,600
I love it.
16
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:41,573
(woman)I don't care what the principalsays, I'm in love with you.
17
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,941
Did you bring
any more almond milk?
18
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,277
(chair thumping)
Yeah, I just...
19
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,412
Ow.
Shush!
20
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,148
I'm just trying--
Shh!
21
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,749
I'm just trying...
22
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,484
(muttering)
23
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,356
Do you want any popcorn?
24
00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,426
There's Milk Duds on
the bottom, actually.
25
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,927
All right, yeah.
26
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,695
My favorite.
27
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,199
Ilana...
28
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,768
Are you (bleep) kidding me?
29
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,006
That's not cool dude.
30
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,276
Hello, sir, we'd like
to report that the sound
31
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,944
was really subpar.
32
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,647
The Dolby was
nowhere near 5.1--
33
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,515
Great, okay.
34
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,450
See you next week.
35
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,486
♪ Four and three and
two and one one ♪
36
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:30,055
♪♪
37
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,426
All major religions
have a dual god system,
38
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,862
one visible face
and one invisible.
39
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:40,065
Okay, call me after
Dave and Busters.
40
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,433
Say hi to your mom.
41
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,835
Hi, Abbi-dabbi.
42
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,570
Smells like you've
been working out.
43
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,137
What is this?
44
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:48,107
I have been making some
home improvements.
45
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,274
This way we don't
have to trudge
46
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,344
all the way to
the master fridge.
47
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,246
Watch.
48
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,849
It's like two feet farther.
Simple.
49
00:01:56,851 --> 00:01:59,051
I don't think this
is a good idea.
50
00:01:59,053 --> 00:01:59,551
Elegant.
51
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,520
Bevers, do you want
me to get it?
52
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,055
It's heavy.
53
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:08,427
It's clearly gonna...
the floor.
Oh, (bleep).
54
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,429
I'm sorry.
55
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,265
I guess I don't
know my own strength.
56
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,566
Holy (bleep).
57
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,969
Bevers, what is
on your back?
58
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,170
You know, I don't know.
59
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:22,407
I just know it itches a lot,
and it really hurts.
60
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,342
Is it a mosquito bite?
61
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,211
No, that is definitely
not a mosquito bite.
62
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:27,679
I think it's
a bed sore.
63
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,815
I've only been sitting on
the couch-- so, technically,
64
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,450
you're gonna have to call it
a couch sore, but--
65
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,920
How have you been on my couch
long enough to get a couch sore?
66
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,624
You don't even live here,
your girlfriend does.
67
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,626
Where's Melody?
68
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:41,727
You just missed her.
69
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,462
She's on her way to
Port-au-Prince right now.
70
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,664
Of course she is.
She leaves her boyfriend here
71
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,200
to go on, what,
some (bleep) cruise?
72
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:48,800
Uh, no.
73
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,403
She's spearheading Habitat
for Humanity down there.
74
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,706
I know everybody else has moved
on to the new hip tragedy,
75
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,442
but it's still
a mess down in Haiti.
76
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,144
I know it is.
77
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,345
Terrible.
78
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,681
You need to get off
of my couch.
79
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:07,586
You need to take a long hard
look at yourself right now.
80
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,055
This is so disgusting.
81
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,723
Just do something
with your life.
82
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,158
Do anything.
83
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:13,825
Jesus.
84
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,762
I can't-- I can't
do this, Bevers.
85
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:19,698
Ow.
86
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,199
Please stop.
87
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:23,835
I'm trying to be all
Zen Buddha, you know?
88
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:24,803
Tea.
89
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,071
Hey, Nicole.
90
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,372
Nic, Nic, Nic.
91
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,775
Do you ever, um,
get hair from your head
92
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,610
stuck in your butt crack
in the shower?
93
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,311
Do you?
94
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,745
Ilana?
Hey, Buddy, what's up?
95
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:38,483
My therapist has encouraged me
to write down my feelings.
96
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,419
I didn't know you go
to a therapist-- Me, too.
97
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:44,957
"Dear Ilana, when you
do not do work,
98
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:49,328
I feel disrespected and--
99
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,696
I had no idea.
And less then.
100
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:55,567
I will be out for the rest of
the day, and when I return,
101
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,171
you-- you need to
have gotten a deal,
102
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:02,074
or I will have to...
103
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,376
let you go.
104
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,212
Very sincerely, Todd."
105
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,051
You know what?
106
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,553
Challenge accepted.
107
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,088
Okay? I'm proud of you.
108
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,189
That was great.
109
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,992
Yeah, I'll do it,
I'll work.
Thank you.
110
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,898
Bevers?
111
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,701
Bevers?
112
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,073
Hello?
113
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,180
♪ There ain't no reason you
and me should be alone ♪
114
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:46,752
♪ Tonight yeah baby
tonight yeah baby ♪
115
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,554
♪ And I got a reason that
you're who should ♪
116
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,923
♪ Take me home tonight ♪
117
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,194
♪ I need a man that
thinks it's right ♪
118
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,229
♪ When it's so wrong ♪
119
00:04:57,231 --> 00:05:01,533
♪ Tonight yeah baby
tonight yeah baby ♪
120
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:06,805
♪ Right on the limits where we
know we both belong tonight ♪
121
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:12,477
♪ It's hard to
feel the rush ♪
122
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,681
♪ To brush the dangerous ♪
123
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:19,785
♪ I'm gonna run right to
to the edge with you ♪
124
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:23,655
♪ Where we can both
fall far in love ♪
125
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,124
♪ I'm on the edge ♪
126
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,626
♪ Of glory ♪
127
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:31,063
♪ And I'm hanging
on a moment of truth ♪
128
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,198
♪ Out on the edge ♪♪
129
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:44,209
Hey, Nicole, how would you
describe exactly
130
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:48,947
what it is we "do"
at this "company."?
131
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,183
Todd told
you to work.
132
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,918
I am, Nicoletta.
133
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,553
I'm hiring interns.
134
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,388
Yeah,
two words, baby.
135
00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:00,592
Steve Jobs...
techno-visionary,
136
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,595
created many jobs.
137
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,030
Oh, okay.
138
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,398
See you later.
139
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:08,900
Wow, wow, wow.
140
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,937
This is an
incredible resume.
141
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,573
Did you
print this yourself?
142
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,175
Yeah, you just,
uh, press "Ctrl P."
143
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,011
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
144
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:24,082
My biggest weakness is that
I lose my purse a lot.
145
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,619
But then my biggest strength
is that I always get it back.
146
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:28,820
Does that answer
your question?
147
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,990
You asked me the question,
and then just started answering
148
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,825
it yourself.
149
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,360
Excellent listening skills.
150
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,862
I've been taking the PATH
train into Manhattan
151
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,564
every morning--
not great for my thigh bursitis.
152
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,567
But on the bright side,
my kids sure are happy
153
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,102
to have me
out of the house.
154
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,137
Gotta tell you, Frank,
155
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:49,975
this would absolutely
be a pity hire.
156
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,543
That would
be amazing.
157
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:56,014
I just don't think you're
Deals Deals Deals material.
158
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,883
I already work here.
159
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,852
Stop letting strangers
in the building.
160
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,921
Sorry about that.
161
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,492
Oh, you missed the...
all right.
162
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:10,695
What up, Trey?
163
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,897
So much better.
164
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:12,664
Thank you for asking.
165
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,599
You know I have been
in such a funk lately,
166
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,035
'cause you know I donated
$14,000 to Zach Braff's
167
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,238
kick-starter, and--
Fourteen thousand dollars?
168
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,706
I mean that's
a lot of money.
169
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,209
Yeah, my whole savings,
but it was worth every penny.
170
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,679
The bummer is that they spelled
my name wrong in the credits,
171
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,581
and I didn't get
my set visit.
172
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,983
But, you know what,
today is a new day.
173
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:32,651
Cha-chinga!
174
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,854
Yeah, you know what, I'm in
a really good mood today, too.
175
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,589
Today is a che-chinga.
176
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,058
It's "cha-chinga."
But that's great.
177
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,393
Our cycles
must be synched.
178
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,828
Our--
Our happiness cycles.
179
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,531
Yeah, you're normally so sad
and sickly and depressed,
180
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,000
but today you're
rocking positive vibes.
181
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,236
All you, buddy.
All you, all you.
182
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:51,937
Nice work, brother.
183
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,005
You know what,
I do feel like my vibes
184
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,874
are like off
the chain today.
185
00:07:55,876 --> 00:08:00,745
You know what, you seem ready to
rise up and meet an opportunity.
186
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,181
Would you like to
assist me today?
187
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:03,782
I would love to.
188
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,451
Rock on, Garth
let's party.
Yeah, let's rock it.
189
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,452
And guess what?
190
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,621
I found my muse.
191
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,458
Hey, Abbi.
192
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:19,297
Bevers.
193
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,532
You guys know
each other?
194
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,667
You two boyfriend-girlfriend?
God, no.
195
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,069
He's my roommate's
boyfriend.
196
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,237
So, you know his body.
197
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:25,871
This is great.
198
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,973
I could use an extra hand,
because I'm documenting
199
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,743
his transformation for
bodybytrey.biz, my website.
200
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:32,811
Will you help
me train him?
201
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:36,314
Yeah, I'll help
you train Bevers.
Great.
202
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,916
Give me five more minutes
on that elliptical,
203
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,284
then Abbi will
stretch you out.
204
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,619
Thumbs up.
205
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,520
He's incredible.
206
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:44,289
All right, I'm gonna go grab
my Lumia and take some pics.
207
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:47,058
He is the perfect
"before" picture.
208
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,195
A lump of clay we're gonna
sculpt together, Abbi.
209
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:50,762
Okay.
210
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,664
He's gonna be
my Garden State.
211
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,933
(slap)
Okay.
212
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,668
Kinda inappropriate.
213
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,507
Wow.
214
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:03,942
Ilana?
Yes?
215
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,343
This is Todd's desk.
216
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,011
Yes, mhm.
217
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,713
And I thought you
were hiring one intern.
218
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,716
I know, but look at the
diversity I'm bringing
219
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,551
to this company.
220
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,185
Frank lives
in Hoboken.
221
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,321
He's a modern-day gypsy.
222
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,823
And, hey, the company
can afford it.
223
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,026
Because you're
not paying them.
224
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:21,826
Exactly.
225
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,897
You and I are seriously like
mind meld, on the same page.
226
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,265
You gotta check
this out, too.
227
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,601
These are dinosaurs,
stills of dinosaurs.
228
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,903
They're made of the same
thing stars are made of,
229
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,204
which is what we
are made of...
230
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:36,074
(phone vibrating)
231
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,543
Do we have to
keep doing this?
232
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,011
It's the three in the middle.
233
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:40,779
I keep telling you that.
234
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,681
You were attacked
in broad daylight.
235
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,217
We have to make sure this gang
doesn't hit anybody else.
236
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:50,922
Okay, number four, please
step forward, say your line.
237
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,392
Nice razor scooter,
pencil dick.
238
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,761
You aborted--
Macklemore (bleep).
239
00:09:56,763 --> 00:10:00,599
You (bleep) look-alike
Albert Nobbs.
240
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,134
I wish I hadn't
reported this.
241
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:03,868
Number five.
242
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,837
Nice razor scooter,
pencil dick.
243
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,806
You aborted
Macklemore mother...
244
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,809
Bevers, what are you
even doing here?
245
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,379
Well, that stuff you said last
night really got me thinking
246
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,380
I can be better.
247
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,582
I need to start by
improving my physical form.
248
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:21,086
That's great, but there are so
many gyms in Astoria
249
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:24,589
closer to our apartment,
closer to my apartment.
250
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,058
Jesus, why'd you have
to come to this one?
251
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,829
This is the only gym my
friend Abbi works in,
252
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,797
plus they
provide free razors.
253
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,332
You have a beard.
254
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:36,668
Oh, God, ew.
255
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,371
Abbi, angle his
gluteus towards me.
256
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,171
Yep, perfect.
257
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,141
I'm excited to do
this with you, Abbi.
258
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,709
We can take the subway
here together.
259
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,045
I'll break for
lunch whenever you do.
260
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,013
We help each other.
261
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,781
I don't need help,
Bevers.
262
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,749
Oh, really?
263
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:55,020
'Cause I see someone is
training instead of cleaning.
264
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,455
It's already happening,
Abbi.
265
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,057
I mean,
I guess so.
266
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,159
Oh! (farts)
I'm sorry.
267
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,560
Okay, I think
we're done.
268
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,029
Abbi, if you farted,
it's all right.
269
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,330
Trey, I did not just fart.
270
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,601
I moved his
gluteus sensitive--
Yeah, that's a woman's fart.
271
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:11,536
Hi, Miss Wexler?
272
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:12,570
Please,
call me Ilana.
273
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,205
Actually, call me
Miss Wexler.
274
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,006
That was dope.
275
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,108
Okay, I was just wondering--
Before you finish,
276
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,009
I want you to know
277
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,513
that you already
have the answers.
278
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:25,850
Unlock the solutions
deep within you.
279
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,486
(vocalizing explosion)
280
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,922
Now, get out of here.
281
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,357
Oh, my God.
282
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,058
Ilana.
283
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,159
Please, call
me Miss Wexler.
284
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,394
Miss Wexler, I closed on
that nail article.
285
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,096
You made $400 in commission.
286
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,097
Perfect.
287
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,565
Now, go get
another one.
288
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,033
Holy (bleep) moly.
289
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,705
Baby girl, you know
we can make commission here?
290
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,509
Love ya.
291
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,978
My interns,
gather.
292
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:57,649
Okay, kids, when
I started this day,
293
00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:58,650
I had one goal
294
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:02,253
and that
was to get a deal.
295
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,055
But then I learned
what commission is,
296
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:08,426
and now my goal is money,
money, money, bitch.
297
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,763
Now, I'm gonna take lunch,
but I need you guys to keep it
298
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,631
on, on, on, on, on.
299
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,267
Please don't leave the building
so that you work and also
300
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:19,437
I won't be able to sign you
back in 'cause I won't be here.
301
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,205
Okay.
302
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,173
Your fly is down, yeah.
303
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,776
(whistling)
304
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,078
What a cool boss.
305
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,817
Your transformation
will inspire millions.
306
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,453
Come on, Abbi,
do it with him.
307
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:39,557
Abbi, motivate him, tell him
how ripped he's gonna be.
308
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,358
So ripped.
309
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,192
Come on, be more specific.
310
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,828
Paint a picture of how
he's gonna look with words.
311
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:47,999
Uh, muscly, like on the top
and then skinny stomach.
312
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,100
Drop that ball.
313
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,435
All right, buddy.
314
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,569
Come on, yes.
315
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,037
All right, go protein
up, all right?
316
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,506
I'll come find you,
if I can see you.
317
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,907
You're really
shrinking, buddy.
318
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,909
bodybytrey.biz. Cut
out.
319
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,778
All right, Abbi,
that was not great.
320
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,080
Now, look, Matthew is
very special, all right?
321
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,183
When you're home with him,
I want you to monitor his diet,
322
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,785
his sleep,
even his stool.
323
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:10,255
I want you to be all
over him, okay?
324
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,792
If you can do that, there's
no telling how far we can go.
325
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,328
Oh, and, Abbi, could you
clean up all this sweat.
326
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,229
It's really stinky.
327
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,265
It's actually my
lunch break.
328
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:20,865
Good call.
329
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,734
It'll totally be here
when you get back.
330
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:25,136
But, Abbi,
hashtag get clean.
331
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,238
Your farts don't
smell healthy.
332
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,774
It's not--
333
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,120
Hi.
Hi, I'm here to meet
my friend Ilana.
334
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,422
Oh, yes, Miss Wexler.
Yes.
335
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,057
Right this way, sir.
336
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,025
I'm not a sir.
337
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:50,261
I wear a ponytail
out one time.
338
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,262
Whoo-hoo!
339
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,697
What up, queen?
340
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,565
Check it.
341
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:57,202
I got a dirty-ass martini,
a clean white power suit,
342
00:13:57,204 --> 00:14:01,139
originally 119,
down to 69, down to 39.
343
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,473
Thank you.
344
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:02,941
TJ Maxx.
345
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:06,511
Okay, Maxinista, I think you
left the size tag on it.
346
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,346
Whup,
can't get it by ya.
347
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,583
This, uh, Halliburton
fat-cat lunch is on me.
348
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,919
I made $400
today already.
349
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:18,489
I hired an extremely
diverse ethic smorgasbord
350
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,191
of unpaid interns.
351
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,327
Turns out I'm an
effective leader.
352
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:25,864
I'm happy that one of us is
having a really good day,
353
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,966
'cause, um...
354
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:32,170
Bevers joined
Soulstice today.
355
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,607
Well, just-- just wait
for this,
356
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:39,477
'cause I'm helping
Trey train him.
357
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,014
You're getting
to train someone?
358
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,016
Yeah, but it's Bevers.
359
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:45,450
So what?
360
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,952
Rub some Purrell in your
mustache so you don't smell him.
361
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,053
Who cares?
362
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,188
This is an opportunity.
363
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,824
Grab the bull by
the balls, dude.
364
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,726
Guess you're right.
It's just my day job.
365
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,096
I'm gonna be like a successful
artist any day now.
366
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:58,763
Obviously.
367
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,565
I could train the
(bleep) out of Bevers.
368
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,766
Hell, yes, you can.
369
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,769
To us and the future.
370
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:06,271
Oh.
371
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:09,207
I just ruined
a perfectly clean
372
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,775
white power suit.
373
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:14,379
I don't know if I would
call it a white power suit,
374
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,814
especially after you just,
you know, talked about
375
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,685
that ethnic smorgasbord of
unpaid workers that you have.
376
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,954
What did you just say?
377
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:23,955
Explain what you mean?
378
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,858
Well,
white power, um...
379
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,993
No, no, no-- Mom,
it is a job,
380
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,561
but I'm not
making any money.
381
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,764
♪ Swing low ♪
382
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:36,668
♪ Sweet chariot ♪
383
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,571
♪ Coming forth to
carry me home ♪
384
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,641
Ilana, one of your interns tried
to leave so the other ones
385
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,575
locked him in
the conference room.
386
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,779
I have a Skype with
a haunted pizza tour company.
387
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,415
I need that room
like now.
388
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,783
What have I become?
389
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:55,219
I don't know,
but I need the room.
390
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:59,057
Goddam it!
391
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,326
Bevers, come on,
let's go!
392
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,761
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna
get to this right after.
393
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,198
We gotta, we're gonna
do some stretching.
394
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,501
Yes.
395
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,371
Yes.
396
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,340
Abbi, I can't.
397
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,041
Abbi!
398
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,411
Yes, yes.
399
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,579
(groaning)
400
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,747
Beautiful.
401
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,381
Here we go.
402
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,917
Be your Soulstie self,
Matthew.
403
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:26,851
Yes, Abbi.
Come on.
404
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:30,254
(chanting) Meet and greet
your potential
405
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:33,524
Yeah, feel that fuel running
through your veins!
406
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,425
Nice!
407
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,626
Yes, you can--
I know you can.
408
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:36,894
You always
quit too soon.
409
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,629
Push him, Abbi.
Come on, don't stop.
410
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,831
Be the change!
411
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,999
Feel it.
412
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,300
You're running.
413
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,301
You are running!
414
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,136
You got it, yes!
415
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,906
Bevers, oh, my God!
416
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,308
Oh, Bevers.
417
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,111
Go, get outta here, go.
418
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,879
But, wait-- Why?
Wait, why?
419
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,648
Get out-- Be free--
I don't want you here.
420
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,450
Go--
You must leave.
421
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,785
You deserve paid work.
422
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,186
I can't get paid work.
423
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,856
I just graduated from
Cornell with a business degree.
424
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:05,857
That's the worst ivy.
425
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,825
And I'm building my resume.
426
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,927
My parents are
finally proud of me.
427
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,896
What, is this because
we made-out earlier?
428
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:12,997
You beautiful boy.
429
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,564
Don't you see?
430
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:18,369
I am Thomas Jefferson, and you
are Stockholm Syndrome.
431
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,670
Listen, I'll cut you
each your checks.
432
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,105
These are index cards.
433
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,974
Future checks.
IOU's.
434
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,743
Obviously, I can't pay you
until, um,
435
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,678
I get paid, but fill
436
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,214
out these envelopes with your
address, leave them in the
437
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,952
mailbox, labeled "Nicole,"
and I promise you you will get
438
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:35,920
your reparations.
439
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,255
Taking to you, Aisha.
440
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,256
Be free, go.
441
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,591
Is this 'cause we made-out?
442
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,127
I don't even know anymore,
text me later.
443
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,797
(man)
Both ankles are sprained,
and he's got a mild concussion.
444
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,266
Make sure he doesn't fall asleep
for at least eight hours.
445
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,067
Keep him vertical.
446
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,701
Just set him up
on a couch.
447
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,804
All right, thank you.
448
00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:54,505
Bevers, I'm
so sorry.
449
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,973
I really did not
mean to hurt you.
450
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,209
You were just
trying to push me.
451
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,844
Matthew, it's me, Trey.
452
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,047
We're gonna your core
until your ankles heal, okay?
453
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,215
No, I'm not coming back.
454
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,685
What? Matthew look how
much healthier you are.
455
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,953
Bevers, Bevers.
456
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:12,824
To be honest, I'm really
happy with the way I look.
457
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:13,291
Ew!
458
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,692
He's obviously
severely concussed.
459
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,793
Will you tell him
he can't quit.
460
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,795
Trey, just let
him leave.
461
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:21,232
You can't force someone to
be something they're not.
462
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:24,669
You're right.
463
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,204
I push people too hard.
464
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,371
I'm sorry, Matthew.
465
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:28,940
I'm sorry I pushed you,
too, Abbi.
466
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,275
You're not a trainer,
you're a cleaner.
467
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,443
But I was so good.
468
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,080
I was great even,
right up until he fell.
469
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,482
Stop.
470
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,883
Stop.
471
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,785
Good-bye, Matthew.
472
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,023
(Bevers snoring)
473
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,025
Bevers, Bevers.
474
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,293
Can we go home now?
475
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,362
Yeah, we're gonna go
back to my apartment.
476
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,363
Back to our home.
477
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,765
We're gonna go to
my-- my apartment.
478
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,608
Well, looky, looky,
who's playing hooky?
479
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,742
You are, Todd.
480
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,110
I was not hookying.
481
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,379
Oh, really, Todd?
482
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,181
I beg to differ.
483
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,716
Are you filling
out a contract?
484
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,552
Yeah, I actually closed
four deals today.
485
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,621
I was a capitalist pig,
486
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,056
rolling around in my
own (bleep).
487
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,192
That is great--
Thank you for listening to me.
488
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:21,826
Great job.
489
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,694
And your outfit is
close to appropriate.
490
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,263
Good job on that as well.
491
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,767
Hey, Ilana?
492
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,102
Who's Albert Nobbs?
493
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:33,504
Oh, it's Glenn Close,
pretending to be a woman,
494
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,907
pretending to be a man.
495
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,775
Yeah, that's accurate.
496
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,011
I love Albert Nobbs.
497
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,213
So hot.
498
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:50,755
Dude, it's like it's hard enough
to push a baby out through your
499
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:54,025
vagine, but on top of that,
I'm gonna defecate myself?
500
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:57,662
I knew that you could (bleep)
while you give birth,
501
00:19:57,664 --> 00:20:00,665
but then I--
I immediately repress it.
502
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,668
I keep it like in the repression
folder, you know?
503
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,471
If it happened to me, you have
my permission to look away.
504
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,173
Thank you.
You're welcome.
505
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,142
I'm gonna see you
give birth then?
506
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,678
Bitch, dur, dur,
dur, dur, dur.
507
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,447
Who else would be
my focal point?
508
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,717
Also, I wanna do it in one of
those birthing pools,
509
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:24,088
and I feel like my apartment is
just-- it's dirty, and there's
510
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,056
a lot of traffic around it.
511
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,925
I thought maybe
I could do it here.
512
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,293
In the living room.
513
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:33,030
You know, don't-- don't push
away the idea of doing it right
514
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,031
in my bedroom, though.
515
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:34,966
We can get my bed out.
516
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,367
You know,
I'll move all my stuff out.
517
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,270
We'll just put your birthing
pool, you know, in here.
518
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:42,273
We'll bring it in.
Thank you.
519
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,676
You know, these are actually
really, really good.
520
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,013
I didn't think
they would be.
I know it scares me.
521
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:52,149
Hey, eyes open,
Bevers!
522
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:53,784
(snoring)
523
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,153
(Ilana)
Eyes open.
524
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:01,425
Abbi, it spilled!
525
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:13,271
Hold on--
Hold the railing...
526
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,538
Go-- Go, quick.
527
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:15,873
I'm going.
528
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,208
We got this.
529
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,209
Got it?
530
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:18,743
You got it?
531
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,078
Why didn't we do this
in the beginning?
532
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:21,111
All right, no laughing.
37145
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